Warmth
by mhazaru
Summary: A story about two old friends named Minamo and Yukari. Shoujo-ai.
1. Part I  Chapter 1

**Author's Notes**

Hi! :D

This is the first chapter of a story about the relationship of two teachers and how it changes over the course of time. This is my first submission ever so any comments and critiques, grammar advice, etc., are totally welcome :) The story as a whole is loosely based around the events of the anime/manga.

Hope you enjoy it! There should be quite a few chapters to come in the future.

Update: As of recently (June) I've started to add some illustrations for each chapter. If you'd like to see them, just go to my profile as I've included links to the pictures there. I'd view them only after you've finished reading a chapter :) I'm still catching up on adding drawings to all of them, so there are only a few at the moment.

~Mendhi

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything related to Azumanga Daioh. Don't sue me bro!

* * *

**Warmth**

Part I

Chapter One

_"Give it back! Stop!"_

_"Come and get us weirdo!"_

_A chorus of laughter broke out._

_"I said stop!"_

_In the middle of a bright blue day near the beginning of summer, hundreds of young girls anxiously awaited for the final bell to go off in their all-woman's high school. The sun sparkled through the windows of the schoolrooms and hallways, its light glinting off an assortment of furnishings that littered the interiors. Students wandered in and out of their classes as they set about for the last period of the day, filling the afternoon air with the gentle murmur of casual conversation._

_That was all soon broken apart however as a loud commotion made its way around the school, forcing hallway pedestrians to leap out of harm's way as four girls dashed madly by them._

_"It's a love letter! Make way!"_

_"No it's not!"_

_One of them, with short, black, tousled hair, chased furiously after the other three. They had stolen something of hers that she needed back very badly. It was something of such personal importance that her usually calm, in-control demeanor had given way to frantic desperation. She shouted furiously at the top of her lungs, not at all noticing the awkward stares coming towards her from every girl she ran by._

_The trio she pursued giggled incessantly, clutching her cherished item in their grips. She had been catching up to them gradually as she was entirely used to sprinting distances, and would have caught up easily had it not been for the traffic of other students in the way. If she could just pick up the pace a bit more then she would be close enough to snatch the blue envelope that the shortest of the girls was carrying, hoisting it high above her head like a prized kill from a hunt._

_The way she saw that girl treating her possession so callously gave her the final rush of anger-fueled adrenaline that she needed. She gritted her teeth and let loose with a burst of speed, weaving around other students in front of her with cool grace, and then lunged..._

_...just missing her target as she grasped thin air, her body landing and sliding onto the slick hallway floor. Just a fraction of a second before she had the envelope in her hand, the girls had evaded her by turning sharply into the open door of a classroom._

_Her classroom._

_The one she entered into at the end of the day for her very first semester of high school. The one she shared with three girls who had never liked her for a variety of reasons, and who had finally believed they had found a way to make a complete fool of her._

_She nimbly stopped herself from sliding and spun around with precision, dashing into the room after them. She was about to yell out again when she saw that most of her other classmates had already arrived inside. Her anger and frustration melted away, and she found herself once again in the possession of her usual self-consciousness. The reality of making a scene in front of her peers had suddenly hit her, causing her to become flustered as she realized she had just ran like a mad-woman through out half of the school building. She prayed that she hadn't passed by any of the faculty members, especially any of her coaches, who would no doubt look down upon her if they had seen her act like such a delinquent._

_The three girls she had been chasing were in the middle of the class now, flaunting over their find as other students formed a crowd around them. The black-haired girl watched it all, trying to decide what to do. Should she make a scene and try to grab her letter back? What if she couldn't? Wouldn't that desperate act itself make any claims they made about her all the more true even if she did get it? Should she just flee and avoid the first-hand embarrassment?_

_"...and we got it from her senpai's locker. What else could it be but a love letter?"_

_The small girl who was holding the envelope started to tear it open._

_"I told you guys that Kurosawa kid was weird."_

_"Th...that's not yours. Please give it back to me."_

_That's all that could come out of Minamo Kurosawa's mouth. She had tried to say it as confidently as possible, but the words came out broken and despondent as her voice trembled. All eyes turned on her for a moment, and then back towards the other girl._

_Some of her classmates voiced that the girl should indeed give Minamo's letter back if it was her property. But they were few and far between as the majority of the other students waited eagerly to hear what was written on the contents of the blue envelope. Good high school gossip was just too enticing to pass up, the smell of blood in the water too potent to resist._

_The girl who held the envelope stuck her tongue out at Minamo as she took out the small piece of paper contained inside, unfolding it. Her eyes touched upon the first words._

_Minamo wanted to rush at her, but she was much too bashful to do something like that in front of her own class. All she could do was look down in distress. She felt herself physically shrink as the situation played out before her. That letter was written for one person and one person only. Why did everyone else have so much interest in her business? She had never done anything bad to any one of them. Why was this happening?_

_"Let's see...'To my Senpai...'"_

_"Stop."_

_The plead came out so meekly from Minamo that she wasn't even sure she had said anything at all._

_"'Thank you fo-'"_

_Minamo looked up as the words cut off. Disbelief washed over her. One of her classmates had come from behind and snatched the letter away from the girl, who was now jumping up and down frantically to get it back._

_"Now now shorty! You shouldn't read other people's personal stuff out loud like that..."_

_Relief filled Minamo's heart. She was saved! Someone who actually possessed some combination of compassion and bravery had come to her rescue. She breathed out a huge sigh as she started to calm down, wiping away the tears that had formed on her face before anyone could see them._

_The girl who now had her letter held it up high above her head._

_"...because that's my job! You idiots have no sense of the dramatic. Let me show you how to do this."_

_It took a second for Minamo to register what had just been said. She hadn't actually had a chance to look at who had taken the letter, as all she had seen was an arm come out from the crowd to snatch it away._

_But the voice that had accompanied it started to become familiar to her now, and the terror she had experienced just a few moments earlier had returned to finish what it started._

_The girl who now held Minamo's life in her hands climbed up on one of the desks. She had frazzled, brown hair that was tied up in a sloppy pony tail. Her clothes were crumpled sharply, not having seen an iron that day, and a smirk as wide as the sun cut across her face as she read the letter silently to herself. That smirk soon gave way to a grin, and then to all out hysterical laughing._

_Minamo died a second time. Her precious letter was in the hands of Yukari Tanizaki, the loudest and most belligerent person she had ever met in her life._

* * *

"Geez, Yukari, did you really have to mention something like that to those girls?"

"I was defending my reputation! I saw that smug look on your face, about to spill the beans on your ol' pal! Those little punks look up to me, you know?"

"Oh, please, I'm sure they do that..."

Minamo Kurosawa took a deep breath and sighed as she looked down at her fellow teacher and closest friend, Yukari Tanizaki. The woman was sitting at her desk in the school's faculty room, an arrangement that allowed the two women quite a few occasions to see each other throughout the school day since Minamo's own desk was right next to hers. Yukari was leaning back in her chair with her usual lackluster demeanor, arms folded across her chest as she looked up at Minamo with defiance.

"Of course they do! They have the utmost respect for their incredibly talented teacher. But then you go behind my back and turn traitor on me, harlot!"

Minamo was used to Yukari's slander, but it still never failed to get on her nerves to some degree. "Don't say things like that out loud! And I don't think 'respect' is the right word. 'Fear', maybe..."

Yukari closed her eyes and laughed softly to herself, shaking her head. "You still don't understand, Kurosawa. Respect is fear. Fear is respect! That's why you're such a bad role model, because you try to be all looooovey-dooooovey with everyone. Like when..."

Yukari went on with some story about how her friend had once "failed the kids and the world" due to her lack of instructional competence, Minamo somehow managing to keep her temper in check by ignoring most of what the English teacher said.

She glanced at her watch as the ranting went on and saw that her next class would be starting soon. Minamo was one of the high school's Physical Education teachers, a faculty member who looked after the state of the students health as well as managing some of their after school sports teams. She loved her job immensely, as it combined a love of athletics with her desire to help and educate kids as they grew up. It was even more enjoyable for her because both she and Yukari had been hired at the very high school that they used to attend at. Some things were a little different now after becoming a co-ed institution, but for the most part the school was just how she remembered it when she was a young girl. It was a very warming experience for her to work in a place that she had grown up in, being more than thankful for the few years she had been a teacher there so far.

And even though she drove her crazy sometimes, Minamo was honestly glad to have Yukari's familiar face around. They had been best friends since high school and had always done everything together, including their careers. Their friendship was an uncanny one, considering how much her calm, rational character conflicted with Yukari's outright audaciousness, but it had still somehow held together throughout the years. Yukari had always been the one person there for her when it really counted, and that's all that Minamo felt that really mattered.

Ugh, Yukari. She snapped her attention back to her friend who was still going on with whatever it was she had been talking about. Minamo was running a bit late today and would have to get going quickly if she was to get the gym ready before her next class began.

"Ok, ok. I'm sorry Yukari. I won't try to start any gossip about you with our students again. Can you forgive me?"

Yukari, who was flailing her arms about as she was talking, suddenly stopped with a perplexed look on her face, never usually getting Minamo to admit defeat on anything so quickly. "Umm, yeah, ok, sure."

Minamo gave her a smile and then started to proceed out the door. "I have to get going for next class. See you later!"

She paused as she saw Yukari's expression twist into something that looked like regret. It seemed like her friend had something that she wanted to say to her, but was struggling with what exactly _to _say.

"Something wrong?"

Yukari looked down at the floor, mulling something over. An intense frown formed across her face, and Minamo knew that always meant that her brain was working over time. She could almost hear the gears struggling to turn inside of Yukari's head, due to the heavy rust they had acquired from so little use.

They didn't seem able to turn too many notches.

"Nah, nothin'. Get outta' here. Shoo, shoo!"

"Ok then..."

Minamo was out of the door for only a few seconds before she heard her name being yelled out. She groaned and quickly went back in.

"What? What is it?"

"Hey! Uh…we still going drinking tonight? We got off tomorrow!"

Usually she and Minamo worked a six day week, but they had the luxury of a full weekend off after every third Friday of the month. For them it meant that they could have an extra special time at whatever bar they went to that night, knowing they would have two whole days to get over it. "Yeah, yeah."

A smile lit up Yukari's face as she pumped up her hands in joy.

"Wahoo! Ok! Oh, umm, we can skip the game store and just go to the bar by the way. I don't have any money this week for what I want."

_Yeah, you always seem to have none on the days we go out._ Minamo rolled her eyes. Looks like she would be treating tonight as usual.

"Alright...well, see you later."

"Bye Nyamo!"

Minamo shook her head and exited the office, eventually making her way out of the main school building as she headed to the gym. 'Nyamo' was her nickname, given to her by Yukari way back in high school. She liked the name, but didn't enjoy hearing it used at school in front of her students. The last thing she needed was a class full of kids calling her something so personal. It's not that Minamo didn't want to be close to them, she really loved it when they got along well, but the principal of the school had told both her and Yukari to keep a somewhat professional distance between themselves and their pupils, in order to maintain a healthy and respectful relationship in the classroom.

She sighed. Any respect for both herself and Yukari had probably been diminished already, as plenty of students had seen them banter with each other over the silliest of things before. The most recent incident had just happened earlier that day, when some of the kids found out that she and Yukari had gone to their own school together. Curiosities were piqued, and so later that day when Minamo had run into them they had asked her how Yukari, their crazy homeroom English teacher, had fared throughout her educational years. Minamo was happy to oblige them, and had just started to dig up one of her old stories when Yukari had walked by and uttered something that shut her up instantly.

_"Love letter!"_

Minamo had been cringing throughout the whole day after that. Those two little words were the key to some of her most private memories as a freshman in high school, and Yukari was the only other person in the world who knew of them. Amazingly though, against the grain of her character, Yukari had done her part in keeping the tale an untold one. She did however mention bits and pieces of it when she needed to twist Minamo's arm a little, which is what had happened earlier.

Another sigh escaped from her. Minamo admitted to herself that she probably shouldn't have tried to indulge those girls about Yukari's past, despite all the times Yukari had done just the same to her in front of all sorts of people. Surely bringing out a little dirty linen about her friend was justified?

She shook her head as she walked through one of the school's courtyards. _No, it's not a right thing to do, Minamo. You're better than that. _She should have told those girls that it wasn't polite to try and find gossip behind people's backs. Even though Yukari didn't have that great of a reputation to begin with, Minamo still felt a little poor about trying to add any more stories to the rumor mill about her. She always wanted to be a good example to her students and now felt a bit remorseful since she hadn't met her own expectations.

Even though she had already apologized to her, Minamo decided to take an extra step in order to make it up to Yukari. She was already paying for tonight's fun, she always did since Yukari was so cheap, so picking up her tab as a favor wouldn't really work. Maybe they could hit a late night convenience store afterward where she could buy Yukari some of those ice cream bars she loves so much?

_That should make her happy._ She was content with that plan, especially since it wouldn't be too much of an additional strain on her wallet. While it did give her a lot of grief sometimes Minamo still always tried to look out for her friend as much as she could, even when Yukari didn't really deserve it. That was the point of being best friends, right?

She thought her plan would have made her feel a bit better, but as she continued to walk she felt her mood still declining, gradually turning into slight depression. It was like a small weight was attached to the bottom of her heart, dragging it down slowly into some somber recess of herself.

The feeling was a familiar one to Minamo, something she had become accustomed to dealing with every day since her youth. She had learned to contain it properly so that it didn't leak into her normal personality, but today its strength had been renewed, weakening the bars on the cage that held it in.

'_Love letter!'_

She grimaced. _Argh!_ Why did Yukari have to mention that today, especially in front of her own students? She had told her a thousand times not to speak about that incident again, as just being reminded of it would always bring her down.

Minamo took a deep, slow breath to calm herself. _It's not her fault. If you were a stronger person, then it wouldn't bother you. Just forget it, just forget it._

After a few more minutes of walking she was finally in front of the school's gym. She unlocked the doors and headed in, making her way to one of the storage rooms in back. From inside she retrieved a cart that held items for her third period's activity today: basketballs, cones, jerseys, and some other equipment that she would use to set up a few drill stations around the indoor court.

As Minamo wheeled out the cart, she passed by a wall of the gym that had been fitted with a large stretch of mirrors. They were there to allow the kids to see if they were performing an exercise or routine correctly, though most of them just practiced their abilities at making rude faces. For one particular student of hers named Tomo the mirrors were simply a canvas that was to be painted upon by the brush of her own breath.

Minamo stopped in front of one of the mirrors, letting go of the cart to look at herself.

Minamo Kurosawa was in her late twenties now, but she still always felt like a young kid. She was taller than she used to be in her youth of course and, contrary to what most people go through when they age, actually in much better shape. Her black, slightly messy hair was still cut in the same short style that she had kept all her life, but was now also accompanied by some 'dog ears': strands of hair that looked like long sideburns in front of her actual ears. Her blue-gray eyes were still wide and honest, the color of them matching well with the cobalt sports jacket and pants she wore.

She put her hands on her hips and struck a little pose. Minamo had always enjoyed the tomboy-look she had going; it gave her some confidence as it made her feel a bit more mature, perhaps even a tad unique. Her athletic lifestyle had added to that image, giving her a fit and lithe figure. And, while she wasn't exactly a model or anything, she knew that she had a decent face as well, made known to her by quite a few people. Even her own students had given her ample praise on how she looked and carried herself.

Minamo had never let any of that get to her head though. Modesty was a trait of hers, and the demeanor she possessed had matured in step with her appearance. She had grown up to be a kind and diligent individual, someone that could always be counted on, and those positive qualities had made her a friend to practically everyone she had ever met.

Overall Minamo was happy with who she had become and where she was at in life. She knew she had been given a lot of blessings, all of which she had been quite thankful for as the years went by.

Her gaze focused onto her reflection's face.

So why then, despite all the great things that she had going for her, did the melancholy she had carried for half of her life never seem to disappear?

Minamo put her hands against the mirror and leaned close to it, locking eyes with herself while putting on the most confident smile that she could.

_Come on Minamo, be happy. Be happy! You're not so bad off. Just do your best. You can..._

The words came flying back to the forefront of her thoughts.

_'Love letter!'_

Her eyes wavered, and then her head followed suit, eventually slumping down to look at the slick wooden panels of the gym floor. Minamo picked herself up quickly and looked back at the mirror. Her smile seemed forced now and her eyes had lost some of their life. The confident, vibrant person she had been looking at only moments ago was now under the shadow of a stormy little rain cloud. She had tried, but she couldn't fool the mirror. Her head sunk back to look at the ground again.

Those two words always conjured up a variety of difficult emotions for Minamo, but she had gradually learned to deal with most of them. One of those feelings however still haunted her from that tumultuous high school day, making her cringe every time it made its presence known to her.

On that bright afternoon she had felt something that she had never experienced before in her life. It had only lasted for a single, brief moment, before a crushing wave of guilt had come in to drown it out completely. It was that same guilt that she felt again right now, a burning shame that engulfed her entirely whenever she was reminded of that day.

_I'm not a bad person...I didn't do anything wrong..._

She didn't even know what that transient feeling that had touched her was, yet some other part of herself had still condemned Minamo for it regardless, her own heart scorning her painfully. She had tried so hard since then to forget about it, so that the heavy guilt that plagued her would disappear, but she couldn't.

Somewhere deep inside her, she longed for that enigmatic sensation again. A cold void had formed in her after it had vanished, but she was much too afraid to give chase and find out the true identity of that feeling, to find out why its absence had made her life feel so incomplete since it had left.

_I can be happy...I have been happy, haven't I...?_

It almost felt like her heart was guarding her from something. Something that would place such an enormous amount of grief upon it that it would make Minamo's life become unbearable. Her heart would do anything to keep it bay then, even if it meant that she would always carry an aching wistfulness inside her.

Even if it meant making her feel ashamed of herself for the rest of her life, in order to avoid a pain that would far exceed any guilt.

_I'm not a bad person...!_

What her heart had been protecting her from, for all the years since that fateful day...

_"_I'm not!"

Her words echoed around the empty gym. She took her hands off the mirror and saw that they left some sweat behind.

Minamo exhaled, put her fingers against her temples, and began to rub them slowly.

_Now you're talking out loud and getting worked up...just relax. Just forget it._

She would shut it all down like she had always done before and resume a happy exterior. Her eyes opened and she looked at her watch. Only a few minutes remained before the next period started and she hadn't been able to set up anything at all.

_Now I've done it_. Minamo shrugged_._ She would just have to rush to her homeroom, take roll, hand back some health exams, and then get all the kids back here to the gym. Maybe she would forget the exercises for today and just talk a little about basketball with the amount of time they would have left. Explain the rules, show them a few pointers. She could get them started on some actual practice next week.

She gave herself a glance in the mirror one more time and put on a friendly smile. Once she was satisfied that it looked convincing enough, she left the gym to head back to the main school building.

A clear blue sky met her as she walked outside. The sun touched her back with warmth as she made her way, like a reassuring pat to help her get through the rest of the day. Minamo hoped it would go by quickly enough, so that she could relax with a few drinks later when she and Yukari hit the bar tonight. That always helped out when those old feelings would return to her. It allowed her to forget everything and just enjoy herself, even if just for one evening.

Yes, that was what she needed. Just some good food and drink and her old friend to banter with.

Minamo felt a genuine smile come upon her as she looked forward to it all.


	2. Part I  Chapter 2

**Author's Notes**

Heyo! :D

Sorry about the long wait! I've been working on the next chapter for awhile, but it was starting to get pretty big, like 13k words! So I did a little slice n' dicin' to make some smaller chunks out of it. The next chapter should come later this week.

Hope your holidays were awesome! Comments, grammar checks, and critiques are welcome :)

~Mendhi

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything related to Azumanga Daioh. Don't sue me bro!

* * *

Part I

Chapter Two

The day was starting to grow long as Minamo stood outside in the school's parking lot. She leaned with her back against the door of her little blue Toyota, tapping a foot impatiently on the ground as she waited for Yukari to arrive. She thought about giving her friend another call to see where she was at, but after almost a dozen previous attempts with Yukari failing to answer, she realized that it would be a futile effort. At the rate things were going she was just about ready to ditch her friend and head to the bar herself.

Minamo had told Yukari that she had to stay an hour later after school to coach her swim team's practice, and that as soon as she was done she would go straight to the parking lot and meet up with her. Usually Yukari was out here well before her when they planned to go out drinking, always ready and raring to get tanked, but today she was nowhere in sight. Minamo had even rushed from practice to get here as soon as she could, her t-shirt and jeans still a little damp after a hasty shower and toweling off, so that she could avoid the usual embarrassment of finding Yukari complaining loudly in the parking lot if Minamo was even one minute late.

She looked at her wrist watch again, just barely catching the display read "_5:10_" before the numbers began to fade, causing her to grunt in frustration. She tried to restore functionality to it by wildly shaking the arm that it was worn on, the display eventually ghosting back to life with her efforts.

_Damn thing. _Minamo had owned the piece, a little water-proof sports one, for a good amount of years now and had never had a problem with it up until a few months ago when it had started to give up on her. She had tried replacing the battery in an attempt to keep it going, but the watch had still continued on its slow descent to a permanent death. Buying a brand new one was the obvious answer, seeing as she didn't want to pay someone to salvage the old watch she currently owned, but the type she needed was a bit more expensive than the average, having extra features that helped out in her P.E classes and athletic-related activities. Money was always a bit tight for her though, so she had decided to just try and make her current watch last as long as she could, up until a time where she could properly afford to replace it.

Minamo looked up at the sky and sighed. Her whole day so far had reflected the actions of her watch, her mood waxing and waning like the digital numbers on it, all because of what Yukari had mentioned to her in the morning. Having to deal with those old memories had made her mind feel so weary, throwing her focus off and causing her to go through a few distressing situations as the day had gone by: she had lost her keys for an hour, gave back exams to the wrong class, spilled coffee all over her clothes and desk, and had generally been a disconcerted mess. Even her swim practice today hadn't gone that great, among the most irritating things to go wrong during it being that she had forgot to use her earplugs the entire time.

She leaned her head to one side and shook it up and down, trying to get the remaining pool water out from her eardrums. While the feeling of having liquid lodged inside her head was quite discomforting to Minamo, it paled in comparison to the vexation she felt with herself by forgetting something so elementary as her basic swim gear.

_Such a stupid rookie mistake_. Minamo sincerely hoped it would be her last blunder of the day, feeling that she was at her limit for being able to remain somewhat collected in the face of hardship. All she wanted to do now was hop in her car, go have a nice evening at her favorite bar, and then spend the entire weekend enjoying herself while she forgot all about the awful things that had happened today.

_Hurry up, Yukari. It's been almost half an hour..._

"What are you doing?"

Minamo turned around, rolling her eyes and tossing her hands up in frustration as she saw Yukari just standing there with a finger pointed at her. Her friend looked a little exhausted, her clothes and hair in a ragged fashion.

"Where in the world have you been, Yukari? I called you so many times!" She pointed at her watch. "It's past five! You had absolutely nothing else to do while I was at practice and you're still late!"

Yukari smiled apologetically, putting a hand behind her head to scratch it. "My bad, my bad...I was busy at my desk. I did try to call you back, but I couldn't."

"Why?"

Yukari folded her arms across her chest and looked up, lost in thought for a few moments. "Because I was sleeping."

Minamo put a hand over her face, her fingers massaging the sides of her forehead to stop the migraine that she felt coming on. _That explains why you look like such a mess._ Her friend was quite known for trying to catch a nap wherever she could, even while at work, and Minamo imagined that she must have just woken up from another one of her sessions of shuteye.

"Seriously, Yukari, of all the things..."

"Never mind that." Yukari made a motion with her hand as if she were brushing something away. "What were you doing just now?"

Minamo looked up at her quizzically. "Excuse me?"

Yukari bent down to put her school belongings on the pavement, placing her hands on her hips as she straightened back up.

"This." Her head shook back and forth vigorously.

"Oh...well, I forgot to use my plugs today and got some water in my ears. I was just trying to get it out."

Yukari folded her arms again as she looked at her with a concerned expression. "You really should be more careful, Nyamo. You can get an infection in there, ya' know."

The considerate words caught Minamo off guard, but she still appreciated them. "Yeah...I'll try. Today has just been a roug-"

"I mean for you, especially. You need those things, or all that water would rush into The Vacuum."

"...pardon?"

Yukari walked up to her, bringing up a finger to tap her friend's forehead a few times.

"The Vacuu-"

_"Get the hell in the car!"_

After a few minutes that were consumed by Yukari's complaints about wanting to drive, they finally got themselves seated inside the vehicle and headed out.

As they made their way down the roads Minamo had found it difficult to keep her temper in check, snapping at Yukari if she even so much as breathed. Not only had her friend wasted a good amount of her time by showing up so late, for sleeping at her desk of all reasons, she still also had the gall to take her usual crack at her intelligence. The woman had always loved to poke at Minamo's sensitivity about being stereotyped as some sort of brainless jock, something she had always had to live with given her natural talent at sports. Minamo was the first to admit that she wasn't any sort of intellectual, but she wasn't the idiot that Yukari often portrayed her as either. Her friend always felt that since she was a master instructor of a foreign language, and that Minamo was just a "stupid P.E. teacher", that she ought to always be the one calling the shots in their friendship due to her much greater brain power.

Minamo turned to look at Yukari, who was leaning back in the passenger seat as she stared out of the side window.

"Why do I put up with you, Yukari?"

Yukari turned towards her, taking her gaze away from whatever she had been looking at outside.

"Huh?"

Minamo shook her head, turning her attention back to the road. It was a question that she had muttered for herself mainly. Ever since she had known her, Yukari had possessed the uncanny ability of being able to get on anyone's nerves, especially Minamo's. She could be rude, selfish, arrogant, even spiteful if the situation presented itself, causing Minamo to go through quite a bit of turmoil when she either found herself as the victim of Yukari's antics or was forced to try and undo the damage that she had done to others. Minamo had tried so hard to remedy her friend's troublesome habits as they had grown up, to get her to be more respectful and emotionally rational. She had managed to smooth out a few of the wrinkles along the way, but for the most part Yukari had remained as her juvenile self, always being so resilient to the hundreds of lectures Minamo had given her about improving her behavior.

_I wish you would just listen to me. I'm just trying to look out for you, so you don't get, you know, fired for sleeping on the job, or..._

Her thoughts were interrupted as she noticed the cars ahead of her had slowed down to a stop, causing her to swear silently to herself as she realized that they had been caught in the middle of rush hour. Usually they would completely avoid all of the congestion on the roads when they went out together after work, as their classes always got out a few hours before the rest of the town's work force was set free. Minamo could even conduct her after-school swim practices and still find plenty of time to beat the afternoon traffic jams. But today, thanks to Yukari's tardiness, they had been well behind schedule, and now found themselves stuck in an ever-growing parade of motionless vehicles.

_Hold on, buddy, just hold on_. Minamo was talking to her stomach. She was always famished after a swimming session and really needed some food inside her right now, her belly growing at her fiercely since they had left the school parking lot, but because of how slow things were moving at the moment she would have to fight her hunger for at least another hour. Getting through traffic would take some time, but afterwards they would still have a few more things to do before they even got close to the bar. The usual plan for their nights out was to first leave her car at Yukari's place and then walk to wherever they had decided to go, since parking around the commercial areas was almost non-existent. Even though they both lived relatively close to where they would be conducting their business tonight, Minamo still wasn't sure that she'd be able to make the short trek there before she had died of starvation.

She leaned back in her seat, taking her hands off the wheel as she waited for traffic to move again. "This is all your fault, you know."

Minamo had expected Yukari's usual response of claiming innocence towards whatever it was that her friend was accusing her of, but not so much as a peep came from her. Minamo turned to look at her, losing the remaining shreds of her patience as she scowled at what she saw. Yukari had reclined her seat back as far as she could, making it in to quite the comfortable bed as she slumbered peacefully in her friend's car.

_"You are not sleeping again!"_

For a few seconds Yukari lay still, the noise of the cars around them filling the empty air. Then, as in answer to Minamo's exclamation, her head slumped to the side and rested against the window, making a small _*thunk*_ as it hit. She was out cold.

Minamo wanted to yell at her once more, to address her friend on how incredibly rude it was to be engaging in the very activity that had caused them to be stuck here in the first place, but the desire to do so quickly subsided. Even if she managed to wake her up, Yukari would probably just throw some tantrum before she instantly fell back to sleep. It would be a pointless endeavor on Minamo's part and only serve to frustrate her even further.

She shook her head to clear the irritation that filled it and then looked at her friend again, feeling a little pity for her now as she took in how genuinely tired Yukari appeared to be._ What on earth did you do today? _The woman had looked a little burned out earlier and was sleeping pretty deeply now, causing Minamo to wonder if maybe she had been a tad too critical with Yukari, who could have possibly had as rough a day as she had. The summer break was coming up on them, so perhaps she had been trying to catch up on her work before it arrived. Even Yukari took her job seriously once in awhile, especially when a deadline was coming.

Minamo took a quick glance out the front window to see if traffic had moved yet. Not a single car had budged, so she used the opportunity to lean over and slide Yukari into a more comfy position, disgust filling her when she noticed that her friend had been drooling. Minamo always kept a box of tissues in one of the vehicle's compartments, so she pulled one out and used it to clean Yukari up a bit, not being able to help but smile as she imagined how her friend must have appeared from outside the passenger window, her slobbering face smooshed against it.

Yukari's hair was also in a bit of disarray, so after Minamo made sure that her friend was saliva-free, she straightened back a few of the brown, frazzled wisps that raked themselves across the face of her friend. _There, now you look a little less insane_. When they were both younger Yukari had always tied up her hair in some kind of fashion, but since then she had just let it cascade down her back like a rampant waterfall, becoming a hazel mane that was as untamed and calamitous as she was. Minamo adjusted her friend's clothes a bit as well, which today had consisted of a yellow long-sleeve top and burgundy skirt. It was a bit ironic given her personality, but Yukari usually dressed somewhat conservatively, actually looking like a bona fide teacher when it came down to it.

Yukari looked somewhat presentable now so Minamo sat back into her seat, watching her passenger for a moment as she slept peacefully. She hated to admit it, but Yukari was actually pleasant to look at when she wasn't shooting her mouth off, with a face and figure that had been touched by some appealing features. If she was awake at the moment then she would be looking at Minamo with large, chestnut eyes that had always contained some glint of mischievousness in them, giving herself a somewhat playful aura. The way she usually carried herself had also added to that inviting image of hers, always radiating confidence brightly around her. Usually it was just Yukari being arrogant, but sometimes there was a charm about being around someone who was so adamant about everything, their own-self assurance somehow making you feel safe in an odd way.

Every now and then Minamo wondered how Yukari would be if her personality wasn't so rowdy, given how attractive she could appear. It would be easy for her to pull off the impression of being somewhat elegant in nature with her looks, even regal, if she could fix her chaotic disposition. She might have been able to even have gotten married by now if she had somehow tempered herself.

Minamo chuckled. She couldn't imagine Yukari being the wife of anyone, at least those who had some amount of sanity. Her friend had gone out with others before, but each and every time she had managed to scare off whatever poor fellow she was with. She always claimed that everyone was much too boring for her, unable to keep up with her vivacious personality, but Minamo knew that was untrue, the real reason for her unsuccessful relationships being that she was a total screwball.

To Yukari's credit though, her futile attempts at finding love had never affected her in any negative way. Romance was something that she had never really taken seriously, the dating scene more of a sideshow to the single life that she adored. Her spirit was much too freewheeling to make any sort of long term commitment to _anything_, especially a relationship, and so had gotten along splendidly well without one. She had far more fun just living vicariously through the love lives of others she knew, collecting and trading all of the delicious gossip about who was seeing who, the latest break ups, and so on. It was more enjoyable for her to be contemptuous of the affairs of others rather than trying to find some soul mate herself.

Unfortunately for Minamo though, her own romantic life was often the target of Yukari's ridicule. She had never been married either, but unlike her friend, she actually _wanted_ to find someone to create a serious relationship with. Her attempts at love had gone just about as well as Yukari's, Minamo's encounters with every guy she'd gone out with always ending much too prematurely. For some reason things just never seemed to click very well between her and whoever she was with, and Yukari would always taunt her about how dismayed she would be after striking out again. Her friend always made it seem like she was some desperate old maid at the end of her rope, even though in reality Minamo hadn't even reached her thirties yet.

She sighed abjectly. Whenever she thought about her romantic troubles she would always depress herself, as she had just now done. It wasn't so much the failures of her relationships that ever really bothered her, or even the reality that most of her regular social circle had passed her up in the marriage game. Instead it was something on a much more personal level that had always caused Minamo grief, something that she had felt on every date she'd ever been on, every brief relationship that she'd found herself in.

Or, rather, what she _hadn't_ felt.

Minamo stared down at her lap as she began to get lost in her thoughts. Those bitter emotions she had experienced in the morning started to return to her, reminding her of the fruitless hunt that she had been on for the longest time.

_Why can't I find it? Why can everyone else, but not me? Do I not deser-_

_*honk*_

_*honk*_

_*honk*_

Minamo came out of her reverie as the blaring wail of a car horn slapped her awake. She looked up over the wheel and saw that the road ahead was now wide open, the traffic that had been there now but a memory. She apologized loudly several times, as if the passengers of the cars stuck behind her could hear what she was saying, and floored the gas pedal to send her car zooming off under the darkening sky.


	3. Part I Chapter 3

**Author's Notes**

Howdy! :D

Comments, grammar checks, and critiques are welcome :) Next chapter is a big one, so it will be a little bit longer of a wait!

~Mendhi

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything related to Azumanga Daioh. Don't sue me bro!

* * *

Part I

Chapter Three

Yukari picked up her glass, half-way filled with beer, and stuck it out across the table.

"A toast!"

Minamo looked up from her food, Yukari's eager look causing her to smile as she picked up her own glass in return. "Um, sure. But to what?"

Her friend held her pose for a few moments, frozen in thought.

"Well...we don't have to see those ugly kids for two da-"

"I'm not toasting to that."

Minamo placed her drink down and resumed her meal. It had taken almost two hours since her practice had finished, but she and Yukari had finally arrived at their destination: a cozy little bar that was just on the outskirts of the neighborhood they lived in. The pair had been regulars there for a bit over a year now, their favorite watering hole to come relax at. They used to frequent the bars that were closer to the main city, until Minamo had became fed up with how congested they always were, never feeling comfortable around large groups of people. So she had set out to find a more pleasant place to spend the nights at, her search eventually leading her to this nearby, family-owned establishment that had never really caught her attention before. The ambiance of the place had been perfect for Minamo, nothing too fancy, and the type of crowd it drew was mostly comprised of casual folks from the local neighborhood; people she could relate to a little better than the suits at the city's bars. The number of visitors was just always right for her as well: not so few as to feel that you stuck out, but still large enough so that you felt blended in with everyone else.

Initially Yukari hadn't enjoyed the idea of leaving the packed-house style of bar that she loved so much, but after finding out that this one had an all-you-could-eat buffet on the side, she had become sold. The cuisine they offered was pretty good, the only downside to it being how expensive it could all be. It was the bar's only real flaw as a whole though and Minamo had never really minded that little inconvenience, figuring that she was paying extra for the great atmosphere.

Upon arrival the two women had wandered over to their usual spot, a little table tucked away into one of the corners of the main room, and then had ordered immediately as Minamo had been ravished. They both had gotten their usual fare, which consisted of lots of chicken, both grilled and fried, sashimi, a little tofu, and plenty of alcohol, of which most had been requested by Yukari. Normally Minamo always forbade her friend from getting so much to drink, knowing that the aftereffects of her binging would flow over into her classes the next day. This time however Yukari would have an entire weekend to recover from her intoxication, so Minamo had allowed her to go to town. To her surprise though Yukari hadn't guzzled down much at all yet, simply being content by just stuffing her face. They would be there for the remainder of the evening however, so Minamo figured that her friend still had plenty of time to get tanked.

She leaned back in her chair, taking her little cocktail and giving it a sip. The liquid flowed down through her, warming her inside as it melted away the difficulties of the day. This was what Minamo had been craving for since morning, a way to cure the worries that had plagued her with the remedy of some good food, a few spirits, and an evening of fun banter with her best friend.

While it was usually hard for most people to believe that she and Yukari could have an actual enjoyable time together, given how antagonistic her friend could be towards her, Minamo had always been able to pull off just such a feat. The petty squabbles that their students and friends knew them for were but a small facet of their overall relationship, one that had been able to survive all of the stark differences between their personalities since they had first become best friends in high school. It was when they were allowed to hang out together casually, away from the pressures of their jobs and peers, that their true friendship really came into light. Their mismatched characters had somehow always found great joy in the company of the other, like a pair of complementary colors that benefited from simply being placed into the same vicinity as their opposite.

The two spent the next hour chatting about whatever came to their minds, whether it was about work, local news, their friends, or even just how funny looking some of the other customers in the bar appeared. Minamo provided most of the substance to their conversations, giving them depth and providing Yukari with some level of enlightenment about whatever they were talking about, and her friend in return would always make her laugh with her inane comments and skewed views on everything.

The dialogue flowed smoothly, and Minamo loved every second of it. Even though it was sometimes extremely difficult for her to do so, Minamo had never really connected with anyone else like she had with Yukari. Once in awhile they would meet up with some other old friends from their school days, and though Minamo always enjoyed seeing her former classmates, she felt as if the bond that she used to have with them had diminished over time, unlike the one she still maintained with Yukari. It was like those old friends had lost something as they had grown up, some common factor they all had shared that used to serve as the glue of their relationships.

_But we haven't lost it, have we Yukari? _She forced back a smile as she listened to her friend talk about one of her online fighting games.

_We haven't, because we're still kids._

When it came down to it, that's really why she and Yukari got along so well. Minamo had never felt like she had gotten older as the years passed, not once in her life feeling the urge to over-indulge in the world of adulthood like her other friends had. They all felt a bit stiff to her now because of it, a little over-refined from their attempts to fit into the mold of how a woman their age "should" be acting. Minamo however had never really fallen into step with any of that, none of it really feeling natural to her. She had always been the tomboy out of all her friends, finding much more happiness in her athletic, laid back style of life, instead of the formal and conventional worlds that most of them had engaged in.

It's not that she wasn't an adult at all however, still being more mature and responsible than most others, but Minamo had just always felt more comfortable by being the person that she had always been, not seeing a need to give up the things she had always loved.

"...and sometimes I think, 'Hey, maybe that punk's ass I just beat is in one of my classes.' Wouldn't that be funny? I could give the brat so much crap. If I knew who they were, anyways."

And, of course, Yukari was pretty much the same way. Minamo returned her attention to her friend, laughing at her remarks. "And you would probably fail them if they beat you, right?"

Yukari nodded sagely, as if it was the obvious course of action to take.

Minamo couldn't help but smile at her friend's audacity. Out of both women, it was Yukari who had always been the real kid, being far more juvenile than Minamo could ever allow herself to be. Her reasons for being the way she was were far different than her friend's, but she too had the penchant of retaining her inner youth. That mutual link between them then had allowed the pair to do everything together as they had grown up, sharing their experiences with the person that they felt most natural around. Even when their conflicting personalities had been the source of some rough times for them, Minamo had still always chosen to remain by Yukari's side, her genuine affection for her always trumping any thought of abandonment. That sense of devotion had eventually turned Minamo into a bit of a motherly figure for Yukari, always cleaning up her messes and trying her best to groom her into a better person.

It really was like taking care of a bratty kid sometimes, but Minamo had nevertheless stuck through with it. She always wanted to be there for her best friend, even when she didn't really deserve it. Much of that kindness was just born out of a natural sense of compassion for her, but to some extent it was also Minamo's way of showing her true appreciation for her friend. There had been some times in the past when Minamo had really been put against the ropes, and the only person that had chosen to support her corner had been the most unlikely of candidates to do so.

She watched Yukari as she continued to gab on about her games. _If only everyone else could see that part of you, then they'd understand why I'm still your friend._

Minamo was suddenly reminded of something. _Games...oh, wait a minute..._

"Hey, hold on." She put up a hand as Yukari spoke, bringing her to a stop. "I forgot to ask you about this earlier today when you mentioned it. You said that you still didn't have enough for that system you wanted? What happened to your fund?"

Yukari stared at her blankly, honestly looking like she had no idea what Minamo was talking about. Her mouth soon gave way to a crooked little grin however, tipping Minamo off to the fact that she really did understand the question. "Umm...what fund?"

"You know what I'm talking about, Yukari. I know you should have had enough cash by now to buy it." She leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table as she folded her arms. "Please don't tell me you've been pinching from it."

Minamo expected her friend to get defensive, as she usually did whenever they talked about her finances, but Yukari just sat in silence, staring at their table as her brow visibly furrowed. She was thinking hard about something again.

"Um, Yukari...?"

"I'm pressing Start."

"Err...'Start'? I don't get i-"

"_Start button!_"

"What...?" Minamo was at first baffled about what Yukari was talking about, but she slowly began to understand. "Wait...are, are you seriously trying to _pause_ our conversation...?"

Her friend didn't make a sound as she continued to think to herself, causing Minamo put a hand over her face. "My god..." Even though she knew Yukari better than anyone else, the woman still managed to surprise her by pushing the limits of what even the most irrational person was capable of.

Minamo shook her head, uncovering her face so that she could bring her drink to her lips. "It doesn't matter what excuse you're coming up with. It's your money after all, not mine."

Yukari finally answered after a few more moments of silence, casting her gaze towards the floor. She had set her purse down there and now gave it a deflated smile.

"Yeah, it is."

Minamo watched her from over the rim of her glass. "How much of it did you spend?"

Her friend looked up to the ceiling, still mulling something over, and then began to chuckle abashedly.

Minamo rolled her eyes, Yukari's behavior telling her that she had probably wasted most, if not all, of the money that she had been saving up over the last month to get a new gaming console that had just come out today_._ Yukari usually had trouble putting away cash for anything that would take some time to purchase, always giving into the temptation of more immediate frivolities. For this occasion however, she had actually gone to Minamo for help on coming up with some way to keep her spending under control, so that she could obtain her prize on the day it came out. Minamo had been so proud of her for finally trying to be more responsible with her money, and had helped her create a budget so that she would have just enough cash on hand for when the new system went on sale.

As far as Minamo knew, Yukari had been sticking with the plan and saving her money perfectly. Her heart had really been into it as well, talking to Minamo every day about how much she had left to go cash-wise, how awesome the launch titles would be, how her friend could come watch, but not play, her system, at least until she beat all the games, and so on. Minamo had found her enthusiasm a bit contagious, Yukari's child-like glee being quite adorable. While she wasn't as avid a gamer as Yukari, she still did enjoy spending some time behind the controller and had been anxious to see what all the hype was about herself.

But, as usual, it looked as if Yukari had come short on achieving her goal. Minamo really thought that her friend would have pulled it off, and was genuinely disappointed to see her lose control of her money once again. Although she had initially brought up the issue tonight in order to scold her a bit, something about Yukari's attitude at the moment dissuaded her from doing so.

_Is she feeling bad about it?_ Yukari still had her silly smirk going, but whatever it was that had been wracking her brain before seemed to slowly seep back into her immediate thoughts, causing her face to look serious once again, maybe even a bit regretful. Something was bothering her friend, and so Minamo chose to not make her feel any worse. It was a rare event for Yukari to be lamentable over _anything_, so she decided to take a more cordial approach about the issue.

She put her glass down and smiled sweetly. "Well...you tried, right? I'm sure you'll be able to pick it up somewhere eventually if you give it another shot, ok? I'll help you out again if you want."

Yukari stared at her blankly for a second, then gripped the seat of her chair as she sunk down into it, her eyes fixing themselves upon her purse once more. Its presence here tonight had been a curiosity to Minamo, Yukari usually choosing to leave her bag at home whenever they went out, since it was one less thing for her to lose when she became inebriated. But today she had insisted on bringing it along, telling Minamo to mind her "own damn business" when she had inquired about it on their walk here. So, Minamo had done just that, letting her friend do whatever she wanted.

"Yukari...did you hear me?" Her friend was still silent. The pace of their conversations always moved like molasses whenever Yukari's thoughts were in a knot about something, but finally, after what seemed like another minute, she looked up at Minamo.

"Yeah, I could get it later, huh?"

She was smiling again, looking as if she had reclaimed her ginger mood. Minamo was glad to see her happy, although she was a bit astonished at how tempered her friends's response was. Now that she thought about it, Yukari had been fairly docile the whole evening, for her standards anyways. She _had_ looked pretty tired today though, so perhaps her unusual agreeableness was a result of some lingering fatigue.

Whatever the reason however, Minamo chose to make the most of Yukari's tame behavior. Their time at the bar so far had been so refreshing for her, the terrible day Minamo had gone through now becoming a faint memory thanks to all of the fun that she had been having, most of it due to how entertaining her friend had been. She wanted to keep the good times rolling, so Minamo led the subject away from Yukari's money predicament and on to more pleasant topics as the pair continued to enjoy themselves.

* * *

As the night moved on, so too did the patrons of the bar. Most of the regulars had been there that evening, occupying their usual spots, leaving at their usual times. Even though both she and Yukari had never really mingled with them, Minamo still felt a bit connected to the crowd as a whole just out of sheer familiarity, as if they were all a part of some indirect family. She loved to watch them all go about their business, Minamo becoming an audience to the little stories that unfolded at every table, the dialogues comprised of nothing but laughter and facial expressions. It was a fulfilling pastime for her, one she partook in whenever there was a lull in their own table's conversation.

While Minamo continued to survey her surroundings a trio of people walked into view from behind her. She focused her attention on them, seeing that the group consisted of one of the bar's attendants escorting two newly arrived customers. One of them, a young, handsome boy, was holding the hand of an equally young and attractive girl. Their host led them to a table where they both sat down with enthusiasm, making it more than obvious that they were a couple with the way they smiled and touched each other with affection. Minamo figured they were probably some college kids, seeing as high schoolers weren't allowed in here.

"They don't really fit in."

Minamo looked over at Yukari, who had been watching the new arrivals as well. Most of the folks who visited this particular bar were a bit older in age, so the young couple did stick out a bit. "Yeah, I guess. I've never seen them here before."

"I know what's goin' on. I bet they got lost on their widdle' date and just decided to eat at whatever dump they saw first." She brought her head up, turning to look at the couple. "Wait 'till they see how expensive this place is. They'll hafta' goto the cheapest store to get some _protection_ for later."

Minamo ducked her head down timidly. "Geez, lower your voice, Yukari. They'll hear you..."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be good."

Minamo stared at her with a bit of surprise, still not quite believing how pliable her friend had been tonight.

"Are...you ok, Yukari? You just seem so...behaved..."

"_Is it a frickin' crime?"_

She put her hands up defensively to calm her down. "No, no, no! It's just...never mind I said anything."

Yukari gave her an unhappy look, then went back to finishing off her plate. Minamo shook off her bewilderment and resumed people-watching, her gaze returning to the newcomers several times throughout the evening as they dined. She watched them converse with each other so jovially, always hugging and kissing each other playfully as they sat together. Both partners just seemed to be infatuated with their counterpart, their sheer exuberance proving to everyone else that they had been genuinely made for each other.

As Minamo continued to observe them her mind began to wander, her thoughts eventually starting to revolve around her own romantic life. Even though the evening so far had lifted Minamo's spirits from where they had sunk to earlier that day, she began to feel them falter once again, dwindling in the face of the couple's happiness. A tightness started to develop in her chest as those dour feelings from before slowly made their return.

_What do I want...? I don't even know.._.

"That's what a happy couple looks like, Nyamo."

Minamo turned to Yukari, who was grinning smugly at her. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, come on. You've been staring at them since they came in. Now your face is all mopey because you're jealous."

"_Excuse me?_ I really don't know what you're talking about."

Yukari lifted her hands, making a gesture as if she were giving up. "Whatever. You know what's up. I don't gotta' tell you."

"Tell me _what_?"

It took her a second to notice it, but she had slammed her fist down on the table. Yukari gave her a satisfactory smile, content that some point of hers had been proven.

Minamo sighed and collected herself. "Sorry." She stared at the table a moment and then back towards the couple.

"I'm not jealous. It's just...I don't know. It just always makes me wonder."

Yukari looked at her cautiously as she returned to her food."What does?"

Minamo continued to watch the young couple, gazing wistfully at them. "You know. What it must feel like...to be so close like that."

Yukari finished gulping down a mouth full of sashimi and then groaned loudly, rolling her eyes. "Don't start talkin' about this crap again."

"_It's not crap!_"

Her friend sat there looking dumbfounded at Minamo, who had shouted loud enough to bring a small pause in the bar's atmosphere as heads turned to see what the commotion was about.

"Whoa."

Minamo recovered herself quickly and then cringed, hunching down low over the table in an effort to try and somehow hide herself from everyone, her voice now a low whisper. "Oh my God. I'm so embarrassed."

Yukari looked as if she were trying to force back a laugh. It was a rare event for Minamo to be the one to lose her cool in public, and the awkward situation her friend was now in seemed to have tickled her.

Eventually though, she got control of herself and resumed her meal. "See, that's why I don't like talking to you about that stuff. You get all uppity and start cryin' about your lame dates and what not. It's pathetic." She popped a few more pieces of seafood into her mouth and then glanced at the young couple, making a disgusted sound as she saw them caress each other. "Whbo' mweeds' thaf' mhushy' swhit' anthywahs'?"

The rest of the bar had gone back to their own activities, so Minamo straightened herself back up, sliding her glass closer to herself on the table. She peered down into it, watching the reflection of the lights above shimmer on the liquid's surface.

"I do."

Her voice was somber and quiet. Yukari finished her munching and then sighed. "Oh geez, Nyamo. Don't get bummed out on me..."

Her friend's voice didn't register to her, Minamo's mind now completely lost in another world. Her thoughts were filled by the memories of her past relationships, of all the effort she had put in to try and take them to a deeper level, to a place where the young couple had brought their own to. Not one of them, however, had ever given her what she was looking for, that special magic that others around her seemed to find so easily in their own romantic encounters. And now, that painful yearning for what she couldn't have had fully returned to her, killing her mood and undoing all the fun she had experienced earlier in the evening. While Yukari's apathetic remarks towards what she craved for so dearly had agitated that ache, it was the pair of young lovers in the bar that had really inflamed that old wound. Their flagrant affection for each other had mocked her since they had arrived, as if they both were telling her that she would never be like they were, never feel what they felt, and that the perpetual melancholy that ate at her would always be a part of her life.

_Why? Why can't I have it as well? It's not fair...what have been I doing wrong...?_

On another day she would have been able to keep herself together, but not this one. That absence inside of her had been plaguing Minamo since morning, those old acidic feelings corroding her mentality and weakening her as the hours had gone by. She didn't have the strength to keep it all at bay anymore, and so now found herself subjugated by the whims of her own self-pity as she stared down blankly into her drink.

_I just want to feel it...even if just for a second..._

Minamo started to swirl her glass around as it sat on the table, watching the little ripples bounce off the sides. The liquid stirred so easily, with but the slightest of touches.

She wished her heart could be the same way.

What Minamo had always wanted, what she desired so desperately above everything else in her life, was to feel the engulfing warmth of being in love with someone.


	4. Part I Chapter 4

**Author's Notes**

Heya! :D

Comments, grammar checks, and critiques are welcome :)

~Mendhi

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything related to Azumanga Daioh. Don't sue me bro!

* * *

Part I

Chapter Four

The clamor of the bar seemed so mute in the ears of Minamo now, the sounds of the crowd and their activities being drowned out by the commotion of her internal struggles.

_Why...?_

A deep, distressed sigh escaped from her, the pleasant evening she had been enjoying now crumbling away. What initially was an attempt to find refuge from the gloomy clouds that had chased her all day had now backfired upon her, Minamo becoming trapped under their dark shadows as they rained down distress.

She continued to pour her stare into her glass, not wanting to look up and see the young couple that had caused her mood to become somber once again. This place was supposed to be her haven, her sanctuary against the times whenever malaise would enter her life, but the presence of those two lovebirds had now violated it. Although the bar had plenty of couples visit it regularly, Minamo was usually in much better control of herself when she witnessed them, her state of mind more intact and stable. But tonight she had been so weary, and the youthful adulation that the boy and girl had for each other had sent her over the edge, plummeting head first into the ravine where the worst of her memories lay strewn.

_Maybe I'm not just meant for it...maybe I'm just a failure._

For as long as she had been trying, Minamo had never been able to experience what it was like to fall in love with another person, of which the sensation had been described to her over and over again by friends and family that had. It just always seemed that no matter how much of an emotional investment she would put into a relationship, the returns were never nearly enough to satisfy her, to reach a level where she could genuinely feel connected to someone else. Her affections for the guys she had been with had always stopped at a level of simple fondness for them, much the same as one would have for a good friend, and that amount of attachment wasn't anything that could be built into something more substantial, something that could fill that gaping hole...

She felt her chest tighten again, the reminder of that emptiness causing it to ache.

_Damn it..._

Minamo clenched her teeth as she tried to suppress her turmoil with anger, scorning herself for being so weak. Everyone she knew had always looked up to her as being a strong, resilient character, someone who had been able to deal with whatever challenge had come her way. Their belief in Minamo's fortitude had given her faith in herself as well, granting her a confidence that allowed her to accomplish anything she had set out to do. Her students, coworkers, friends, family, they had all come to rely on that self-determination of hers, to find aid in her capacity to always achieve her goals.

There was one trial, however, that Minamo had never been able to quite succeed at. Romance had always seemed to be her one bane, a test that was much too great for even her own dauntlessness to defeat. It was quite frustrating, then, when everyone else around her seemed to master it so easily, being able to become enraptured with another at almost their own convenience.

And so to see a fledgling couple, like the one in the bar tonight, experience something that she _still_ had yet to go through herself was incredibly tough for Minamo to deal with. It made her feel like her heart wasn't capable of achieving love at all, as if it were much too dull to acquaint itself with such a colorful and wondrous feeling, much too prosaic for such a sensation.

Sometimes she felt, as hard as it was to admit, that fact might be the case. Being a diligent and studious individual could have its drawbacks, and Minamo was no stranger to being labeled as someone who could have a bit of a vanilla personality, sometimes being a little too serious for own good. But even if all that was true, that someone of her make wasn't just made to experience love, then why did its absence bother her every day? She thought she would have been able to move on by now and leave all of this romance business behind, to go on and enjoy her life as it was without the added stress that an empty heart could bring.

That had never happened however. The same old wanting despair that had always plagued her was still there, and the only thing that Minamo felt could finally satisfy it was the pure joy that could be experienced when one was able to fall in love. No other happiness she had gone through in life had ever filled that hole, and so the quest to find that one special person, of whom she could become absolutely enamored with, had become Minamo's last hope in her efforts to finally feel truly content.

But her heart had never wanted to comply with her desires. It didn't want to be swept off its feet, to surrender to that sublime feeling that Minamo needed so badly, and had instead always chosen to remain in a tortured state despite having the ability to become the end to its own suffering. Stubbornness had caked it, turning it into a defiant child that didn't want any taste of the medicine that could cure the painful ailment it was stricken with.

It was an insolent, rebellious little kid that never wanted to do what was best for itself, always acting just like...

_Just like..._

"_Kurosawa!_"

Minamo snapped her head up, staring in surprise at a quite angry looking Yukari who had practically climbed over the table to yell right in her face. "W...what?"

Yukari threw herself back into her chair, folding her arms across her chest as she scrutinized her friend ferociosly. "Geez, listen the hell up when people talk to you. Did you hear anything I've been sayin' this whole time?"

Minamo looked at her blankly, eventually putting enough of herself back together to engage in conversation again. "No..." She put an elbow on the table and rested her head in her hand, sighing. "I'm sorry. I guess I spaced out a bit." Her voice didn't sound like she had wanted it to, so hollowed out now by the despondency that ate at her.

Yukari studied her for a moment before she turned her attention to the young couple on the other side of the bar. "Man, you sound pretty messed up. What, those kids get you down that bad? You're usually not so glum about this stuff."

Minamo brought her gaze down to the table. She didn't dare look over at the couple again, the pair already having done enough damage to her evening by reminding her of all the troubles of her love life.

She stopped her thoughts before they could ruin her any more than they already had, instead focusing herself on Yukari's question. Yes, it was true that those two had done a number on her, but she didn't dare tell her friend the extent of her injuries. Yukari would just make fun of her, always mocking her quest for romance as a pile of "storybook puke" whenever Minamo would get moody about it. There was no way she could tolerate the woman's insults in her current terrible condition.

"It...it's not them. It's nothing. I'm fine, really."

Yukari turned back to Minamo. "Then why do you look like shit?"

She didn't answer.

"Was it because of what I said? Look, ok, I didn't mean to call you pathetic and all that. I take it back, alright?" She slid down her chair, letting out a breath of exasperation. "Damn, I was tryna' be nice tonight, too."

Minamo lifted her eyes up at Yukari with curiousity. "What?"

Her friend took her time in answering, facing up at the ceiling. "Hmm...well, I heard you had a crappy day."

"You...heard?"

"From the kids."

It took Minamo a second to figure out what Yukari was talking about, but the instant she did her body cringed with irritation. _Those girls. _The students at the her school had undoubtedly spread the tales of how ditzy their usually cool and collected P.E teacher had been all day, more than likely contorting the reasons for her capriciousness to the whims of their imaginations.

Minamo groaned loudly. Not only had today been a total wash, but she was now dreading how bad the next few weeks would be as well. If there was one thing that Minamo couldn't stand it was rumors about herself, and she would probably have to spend a good amount of effort in scrubbing down all the dirt that would be tossed around the school walls for awhile.

With a heavy sigh Minamo slumped over the table, staring straight down into her glass again as she wondered how things could possibly get worse from here on out. There wasn't anything left in her tank now, no extra supply of strength for her to call upon so that she could grapple with all her problems. She was well past the limit for what even _she_ was able to tolerate, putting up no further fight against the increasing depression that continued to creep over her.

"Hey...you ok?"

Minamo ignored her friend, having become deeply engaged with the contents of her glass.

Upon the liquid's surface the face of a woman had appeared. She looked so sad and tired to Minamo, like someone who had reached the end of her rope. Her blue-gray eyes were shot and a painful frown cut across her complexion, the corners of her mouth appearing to be pulled down by the heaviest of weights. Life had seemed to just completely pass by this miserable person, not slowing down enough for her to hop on and experience all of the joy and happiness that could be felt by riding upon it.

Minamo pitied her greatly, becoming entirely sympathetic to her plight. This dejected woman looked as if she had no one in the world to really care for her, no one to go to when times become much too hard for a single person to handle alone.

No one to tell her that they loved her, and allowed her to say that she loved them.

_Love._

Minamo watched the woman smirk.

_What a stupid word._

"It's 'cause of what I said this morning, right?"

She kept her focus on her drink, Yukari's words just barely piercing through her melancholy as she gravely replied. "This morning...?"

"You know, that love letter thing."

For an instant Minamo shivered, those two simple words bringing a slew of emotions into her. She somehow collected herself and looked up at her friend, who surprisingly was staring at her with what seemed to be genuine concern. "What about it?"

"That's why you were all mopey today, right? Don't lie to me."

Minamo turned her gaze to look past her friend. She didn't plan to fib about it, as it was more than obvious that the event that started her bad day had been Yukari's utterance of that little phrase, but she would have rather avoided the subject all together tonight. Part of the reason for that was due to how the matter made her feel, but more than that, she just didn't want to blame her friend for something that she herself should have been able to deal with. It wasn't Yukari's fault that she became so gloomy when a reference to that day was mentioned to her.

Minamo sighed.

_That day..._

She cleared her head before her thoughts could wander back to that high school afternoon, not at all able to handle the feelings those memories always conjured up. Although she could never really recall everything that had happened then, much of it blurred by her attempts to leave those bitter events behind, she still felt quite awful over the parts that she _did_ remember clearly. _Just forget about it, just forget about it._

Her attention returned to her friend's question. "Even if it did, Yukari, don't worry about it." She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to calm herself before she opened them. "I know I'm not being the best of company right now, I'm sorry. It's just been a long day and I haven't really been feeling well, but really, I'll be ok now. "

Yukari didn't seem to be satisfied with her answer, and neither was Minamo. They both knew that she wouldn't be "ok" for quite awhile, Minamo having a history of letting any depression linger with her for a good amount of time, especially if it was caused by a relationship problem. How she dealt with it then was by hiding all those troubles deep inside her, so that she could keep that happy, confident exterior that everyone had come to know her for. She had too many people that counted on her to be solid and dependable, and there was no way that she could let them all down by giving into her own dilemmas.

Even though Minamo felt like a complete wreck right now, with some time she'd be able to regain enough of herself to cover it all up, just like she'd always done before. It was her habit, the only way she knew how to live with what afflicted her. She never wanted to cause worry to anyone else around her, never wanted to drag them into her own sad troubles.

"You're too damn nice for your own good, Nyamo."

Yukari startled her, as if she had somehow been right in the midst of her thoughts. "M...me?"

Her friend shook her head with indifference and then looked down beside her seat again, eying her purse on the floor. That contemplative look of hers had returned, Yukari now thinking incredibly hard about her next course of action. After a few moments she nodded her head as an affirmation to herself and then took a deep breath, as if she were preparing to engage in some grand undertaking. She leaned down and took the bag, plopping it onto the table as she came back up.

"I was gonna' do this when we got home. Like leave it in your car before you left or somethin', but, maybe now would be better."

Minamo stayed quiet, not really sure what Yukari was talking about. She didn't care anyways. Her mood was too far gone to put up with any of her friend's antics tonight.

Yukari started to mumble. "Ok, how should I do this..."

For about a minute she had a conversation with herself, arguing over ideas and plans for something that Minamo had absolutely no clue about. But her eyes suddenly sparkled to life with that familiar mischievousness, her fist striking the palm of her other hand as an epiphany hit her. "I got it!" She looked over to Minamo, giving her a face that absolutely dripped with excitement. "Ok, so, do you still have that crappy old watch?"

"My watch?" Minamo lifted an arm up, the item in question wrapped upon her wrist. "I do, but what about it?"

"Gimme' it!"

She placed her arm back down, glaring at Yukari. "I'm really not feeling good, Yukari. Just finish your food and let's go home."

Her friend looked as if she was about to blow up and outright demand her watch, but she took a few breaths and settled herself down, closing her eyes as if she were meditating.

When she opened them back up, Minamo found herself looking at a completely different person.

"May I please see your watch, Minamo? I promise you can trust me with it."

Yukari has used the sweetest, most kindest voice she had in her arsenal. Minamo was a bit taken aback, not just from how cordial her friend had sounded, but also by how delightful she now appeared to be. Yukari looked so genuinely endearing now that it actually relaxed away some of Minamo's earlier worries, easing her to the point at which she felt that it would almost be a crime to turn down such a charming request.

She brought her arm back up and started to undo the strap. Her watch was about half-dead anyways, so she figured that there really was no harm in letting Yukari hold it. ''Alright...but what are you going to do?"

Yukari reached across the table and took the watch as Minamo handed it to her. "I'm going to show you a little Tanizaki magic trick. This is gonna' be so neat!"

Minamo couldn't have been less enthusiastic. She slowly dropped back into her chair and watched her friend go through what could best be described as a skit. Yukari had opened her purse and dropped the watch inside, closing the top back after it. She then lifted the bag into the air and shook it around, saying some words in English to the rhythm of an incantation. Minamo understood the language to a certain degree, but Yukari was far more fluent in it, speaking much too quickly for her to really grasp any meaning. All she could comprehend were a few things: "watch", "no money", "P.E. teacher".

Eventually Yukari finished her chanting and set the purse down, looking straight at Minamo with the most humorous face. "Ok! This part we have to do together. Are you ready?"

She wasn't at all, and Minamo was beginning to get angry with Yukari's little play. Her friend knew that she felt terrible right now and had a desire to exit the bar as quickly as possible, yet Yukari still chose to waste all their time by forcing Minamo to bear witness to her usual idiocy. But she eventually realized, however, that they might be able to leave faster if she just went along with whatever her friend wanted of her.

She sighed and nodded with some annoyance. "Yeah, ok. What do you want me to do?"

"You have to say this with me, otherwise it won't work!" She brought her hands up, twinkling her fingers._ "Alakazam!"_

Minamo looked at her cynically. "Is that English? What does it mean?"

"Don't worry about that. Just say it with me. _Al-ah-kah-zam!_"

"This is stupid, Yukari."

_"You're stu-!"_ She caught herself quickly. "Err...I mean, uh, just go along with me please, Nyamo!" An innocent giggle followed her words.

Minamo shrugged her shoulders, rolling her eyes. _Whatever. _She mouthed the phrase a few times to get the hang of it first, trying to say it like Yukari did. When she got close enough to where her friend was satisfied with the pronunciation, she was asked to say it with her on a countdown.

"Ready? Three...two...one..._Alakazam!"_

"_Alakazam..._"

With a sudden zest, Yukari flipped the top of her purse back open, making an explosive sound at the same time, and then waved her hands about as if she was clearing smoke. "Wow! I think it worked, Nyamo! Check this out!"

She watched as Yukari placed her hands inside the bag, pulling out a small box that was wrapped sloppily in what appeared to be newspaper. "_Ta-da!_ Here you go!"

Minamo wasn't quite as enthralled about this little act as her friend was. She took the small package as Yukari handed it to her and examined it. The material it was covered in wasn't actually newspaper, yet Minamo still felt some familiarity with it, as if she had seen this kind of paper on a regular basis. The patterns on it were comprised out of blocks of text, and upon closer inspection she saw that the words were made of a foreign language.

_Wait a minute..._

She looked up at her friend unbelievingly. "Yukari...are these pages from your _textbook_?"

Her friend appeared offended, even hurt, by Minamo's accusation. "Come on, why would I do that? I have to give that thing back every year. I'd be in so much trouble."

"Well, alright. But-"

"It's from one of my kid's books. He left it on my desk, and I was kinda in a rush, so, bam, instant wrapping paper! Pretty smart, huh?" She leaned back, shrugging coolly. "I mean, he doesn't even read the thing, so no problem, right?"

Minamo could only stare at her in shock. _How have you not been fired yet?_

"What? What's wrong?"

She shook her head, trying to forget about the educational atrocity that Yukari had committed. Her friend just sat there naively, honestly not understanding what the issue here was. "Forget it, forget it. So, what, is this for me?"

"Well, duh. Open it!"

Minamo obliged with an obvious lack of interest, turning the box around to find a good place to start. The wrapping and tape that held it together was so terribly done, and she couldn't figure out whether Yukari really _had_ been in a hurry to bundle it all up or just had no idea how to package something.

_Probably a little bit of both._ She pulled on a fray piece of the wrapping and started to tear it all off, feeling slightly guilty about it since she knew that it was comprised from the pages of a student's English book. Minamo somehow managed to shove that thought aside though and pulled away the last remaining scraps of paper, finally exposing what had been underneath.

Her eyes widened in surprise as she instantly recognized what Yukari had gotten her.

"Oh my god."

She fumbled with the box, not entirely believing what was in her hands. The black and blue logo of a famous sports company adorned the front of it, Minamo's absolute favorite brand, and placed right below it was a small picture of the box's actual contents: a top-of-the-line, first class, premiere sports watch.

Minamo didn't even have to read the details on the cover to understand just how good this thing was. She knew all about its features, its quality, everything about it already, as she had always wanted this particular model when it had first come out. The price had been so ridiculously out of her league though because of all the high-tech attributes that came with it: GPS navigation, waterproof sealing, a plethora of ways to record things such as lap times and jogging routes, and could even send all that information to a computer thanks to a little uplink. The durability of it was fantastic as well, immaculately made for even the most rugged of environments that one could take it into.

Overall, the watch was just about as perfect as one could get for a sports enthusiast like Minamo, who was feeling blessed by just being able to even _hold_ such an expensive item in her hands. She looked up at Yukari, who was grinning eagerly at her. "Wh-where did you get this...?"

"Do you like it?"

"Well, of course I do! It's amazing! I...but...how did you-" She stopped, suddenly putting things together as she stared at her friend in bewilderment. "Yukari...no, you didn't..."

Yukari waved a hand around, shoo'ing away Minamo's words. "Yeah, yeah. Don't make a big deal out of it."

"_But that was your money!_" Minamo had found her voice again, the meekness that had possessed it earlier now washed away by a sense of urgency. "Why would you go and spend it all on something stupid like this, after all the effort you put into saving up for that system?" She put a hand on her forehead, thinking of what to do. "We need to go the store and re-"

"_Just _s_hut the hell up and take it!"_

Minamo recoiled back, closing her mouth.

Yukari glared at her, tossing her hands up in aggravation "Holy shit, this is why I don't buy anything for you, 'cause you always start freakin' patronizin' me about it." She sat back in her chair and looked away, appearing pouty.

Minamo could do nothing else but gawk at Yukari, unsure of what to really do or say now. She eventually got control of herself though and slowly shifted her stare down to the incredible gift that was in her hands. Yukari's benevolent exploit had totally caught her off guard, and Minamo wasn't at all prepared to see the evening take such a surprising turn. The watch was easily in the range of fifty or sixty thousand yen, and she felt genuinely bad for even _holding_ such an extravagant item, knowing that her friend had given up so much to get it for her.

"But...why? Why did you buy this for me?"

Yukari still didn't look at her. She started to play with her ear, looking a bit diffident now. "Well...I kinda felt bad after I mentioned that letter thing this morning, 'cause you looked like crap after that." She shrugged. "You always get so lame about that stuff. So, I dunno', I kinda' wanted to make it up to you, or something."

Her friend looked a bit uncomfortable as she spoke, and Minamo knew that it was because Yukari wasn't used to being so open about herself. "Geez, I didn't know that you were feeling guilty about that." She placed the gift down on the table, keeping a hand on it. "I mean, I really appreciate it, but...this is a bit too excessive, don't you think?"

Yukari finally turned towards her but avoided eye contact. "Maybe...I kinda thought so too, at first. But, you know, that whole letter deal kinda reminded me of those old times when we were kids." Her hand went up and held the back of her head, rubbing it up and down as she look towards the table unassumingly. "Like, that day with the letter, that was when we first met...right?"

Minamo found herself touched that her friend would remember something like that. "Yeah, it was."

Yukari seemed to be a little more apprehensive now. "Yeah...uh, do you remember how long ago that was?"

"I don't know. Twelve, thirteen years?"

"Mmm, I think so. But, yeah, that's a long time to know each other, right?" She reached across the table and flicked the watch's box with her finger. "That's why I decided to go with this."

Minamo looked down at her gift. "What do you mean?

Yukari sat herself back in her chair, turning away from Minamo again. "Umm...it's an anniversary present."

"Anniversary? Of what?"

"Us being best friends."

Yukari had said her last words with such a serious tone, something that Minamo didn't know she possessed. Her friend was trying to appear as if she didn't really care how Minamo would react to her actions, putting on a front of bravado to try and convince her that she was only doing something like this for _her_ sake, that such kind affections were far below someone of her hardened personality to regularly partake in.

But the guise was so easy to see through.

Minamo stared at her friend in silence. It was a bit strange, but she couldn't ever really recall when Yukari had used the word "best friends" in a personal conversation between themselves. They had known each other for years and years now, but Yukari had never talked about their relationship in such a formal way before. It just always seemed a bit too much for her pride to handle, to admit that there was someone out there that she actually felt close to. But Yukari had done just that tonight, revealing to her fellow teacher where she stood in the framework of her life.

And it was that fact, the knowledge of what Yukari really did think of her, that had caused Minamo's eyes to become damp.

Yukari looked to her, the stoic facade she had been trying to pull off quickly morphing into real concern as she saw her friend getting worked up. "He-hey, you ok?"

Minamo brought a hand up to rub her eyes with her palm, smearing away some of the tears that had formed, and then nodded towards Yukari to let her know that she was alright. It was unknown for her to ever cry, but the sheer thoughtfulness of Yukari's gestures tonight had moved her so much, a mix of new emotions quickly replacing the anguish that had gripped her so tightly before. Although the gift she received had caused Minamo to feel wonderful, knowing the sacrifice her friend had made for it, what had really set her spirits soaring was Yukari's acknowledgement of how close she felt to her old companion.

It was funny to her, how, only just a few minutes ago, her mood had been absolutely torn apart by all that had happened today. But now here she was, the terrible feelings that had taunted her being chased off by a wave of sheer delight. The bad day at work, her romantic troubles, the young couple, all of that had now been forgotten thanks to the act of one person showing how much they really cared for her.

A foolish looking smile came on Yukari's face, finally realizing that Minamo's tears were ones of joy, not sorrow. "So...so you're happy, right?"

Minamo sniffled a few more times before she replied. This was the part of Yukari that she wished everyone else could see, the reason why she had always chosen to remain with her friend despite the depth of differences they had between them. "Of course I am. It's just..." She put a hand against her chest, breathing a few times to calm herself. "It's just...I didn't know you thought of us like that. It's silly, but...you don't realize how much it means for me to hear you say something like that." She placed both hands around her gift, holding it dearly. "Thank you so much, Yukari. I couldn't possibly ask for a better best friend than you."

Yukari looked down shyly, smiling awkwardly, as she wasn't at all used to having such kind things said about her. "Yea-yeah..." She looked up a little, bringing her hands together into a little prayer as she bowed her head, appearing as if she were getting ready to take a blow. "Um...so, am I forgiven, please? Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry..."

"For what?"

"You know...what I said, that stuff..."

Minamo quickly picked up on what she was referring to. "Oh...Yukari, there's nothing to forgive. I shouldn't have talked to those girls about you like that, so it's really me who should be apologizing." Her friend didn't look happy with that answer, so Minamo decided to concede. "But...yes, of course I forgive you, silly."

Yukari clapped her hands, exhaling her breath as if she was a kettle. "Whew! Man, I thought that you were gonna' be mad at me for awhile." She started to laugh heartily, dropping her anxiousness in an instant as she resumed her usual happy-go-lucky self. "I was worried about this all day. I'm not really good at this kinda' stuff, you know, I didn't want to screw it up." She pointed towards Minamo's gift. "Like, especially with that thing. I asked the guy at the shop today to gimme' the best one, 'cause I didn't know jack about it. That's the one you wanted, right?"

Minamo nodded to her friend. She was just about to explain some of the reasons of why this particular watch was so good, when she realized that there was something a bit odd with what Yukari had told her. "Wait...you went today and got this?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Did someone give you a ride to the store? Because you came to work with me today."

"Nope. I ran."

Minamo blinked. "You _ran?"_

Yukari looked a bit offended. "Well, yeah. I went there when you were swimmin'. What, you think I'm too fat or somethin'?"

Once again, Minamo could only gape at her friend._ So that's why you looked so tired today._ The nearest store that would sell anything like a sports watch was at least a handful of miles away from the high school, so she imagined that Yukari must have sprinted all the way there during her practice, bought the watch, and then had bolted back to the campus so she could wrap it up before they both headed out for the night.

When Minamo had met her in the parking lot afterwards, her friend had made it seem like she had just been dozing off the entire time, when in reality...

She frowned. _And I got mad at you for sleeping in the car._..

Although Minamo thought she had regained her composure, it quickly fell apart again as a fresh surge of joy suddenly shot through her, causing her to cry even more forcefully than before. She really couldn't believe that she had been blessed with such an incredible friend, someone who had literally run farther than anyone else in her life for her, all in the hopes to just see her be happy.

Yukari was skittish once more. "W-what's wrong? Why are you cryin' again?"

"Because..." Her voice started to crack as more and more emotion poured into her. "Because...you're crazy..."

She placed her hands over her face in an attempt to hide her sobbing, breaking down completely as pure exuberance filled her. Even though Minamo was enamored with what she was experiencing right now, the problems of her life and relationships all but forgotten, she couldn't exactly fathom why it felt_this_ wonderfully good to her. She had obviously been delighted with what Yukari had done for her tonight, but all of that shouldn't have sent over the edge to this degree, causing her to fully lose possession of herself.

_Why is this making me so happy? I've never really cried before, and now I can't stop..._

The tears kept coming out, as if some hidden reservoir of euphoria had been smashed open inside of her, gushing forth uncontrollably now.

_I feel so amazing..._

Her joy kept escalating, up to a level that was all but foreign.

_And it's all just because she..._

It kept rising and rising, gradually reaching its peak...

_Because she..._

...and when it did, she wasn't at all prepared for what would happen.

For but the briefest of moments, just barely tangible amid all the emotions that she was going through, Minamo felt her heart twitch.


	5. Part I Chapter 5

**Author's Notes**

Hello!

Apologies for this chapter taking so long, as well as for the next chapters if they come out as slowly. I'm always working on them, though!

Chapter pic at www. blue-suns warmth (they're numbered by chapter). There are spaces in the URL to avoid the FF block.

Peace!

Comments, grammar checks, and critiques are welcome :)

~Mendhi

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything related to Azumanga Daioh. Don't sue me bro!

* * *

Part I

Chapter Five

As abruptly as they had first arrived, the tears that Minamo had been spilling so hard had come to a sudden halt.

She stared blankly into her palms, her hands still covering her face as she sat frozen in her seat. A minute ago a surge of happiness had been rushing through her, sending her over the emotional edge and causing her to cry in joy from all the wonderful feelings that had been filling her. But now, those blissful sensations were making their exit, her eyes quickly drying as she regained her composure.

Although the act of becoming swept up in the moment had been quite a surprise to Minamo, her staunch character usually much too resolute to give into emotion like that, it wasn't nearly as bewildering as what had happened when that excitement had reached its highest point.

_What..._

All of that joy had suddenly exploded inside of her, popping like a balloon and sending the strangest of feelings coursing throughout her body. It had raced like lighting up her spine, jolting every single nerve Minamo had as it quickly made its way into her chest, grounding itself there and leaving behind the most peculiar of sensations for her to deal with.

It had only lasted for a split second, but Minamo had felt her heart...itch.

..._was that?_

Even though it was just a small, almost insignificant little tingle, that momentary agitation had now changed Minamo's entire state of being. As soon as it had finished its work her tears had instantly stopped, her poise miraculously returning to her after buckling under so much emotion. Her ecstatic breakdown seemed to have never happened at all now as Minamo found herself in charge of her temperament again, the happiness that had filled her now making way for a new experience that was beginning to engulf her.

When that slight thrill had left her heart, it had taken along with it a weight that she had never realized was inside of her before, only made known now by its absence. It had been pinning down some deeper part of herself, smothering it with great pressure, but had now allowed it to move with some freedom as its grip began to slip away.

That relief, then, had come to affect her whole mentality. Minamo's mind felt so liberated now, her thoughts so light and graceful without whatever it was that had been burdening them. All of the commotion that had been going on in her head for the entire day was now completely gone; there was only a tranquil silence now, her consciousness not allowing anything to impede upon her new found clarity.

She removed her hands from her face, the serenity she now felt dismissing any concerns about her appearance after crying so hard, and began to take in her surroundings with new eyes.

It was a little disconcerting at first, but Minamo quickly adapted to how subdued everything appeared now, as if the life of her settings had been drained away. The bar, the people, the lights, all of it had taken on this tint of shabbiness, as if everything around her had been painted over with a dull shade of gray. Her mind was intentionally trying to filter out the environment around her now, like it was trying to tell her that none of it was important enough to really matter to her anymore, that all of it was much too trifling for her to concern herself with. Everything was just so bland now, so trite, so pointless.

Everything, except...

"Are you done now? What the hell was that about?"

Minamo's head instantly snapped towards the voice she had heard, the only one in the world around her that had not become muffled by her disinterest, and her eyes settled onto a brown-haired woman who was sitting across from her, staring at Minamo with the grumpiest looking expression on her face. Her composure seemed to be quite ruffled as she lay over the table, her arms placed over her head as if she were attempting to take cover from an attack.

"God, what's wrong with you? People are gonna think I'm bein' nasty to you or somethin' with your frickin' waterworks."

Minamo blinked in surprise. It had taken her a moment, but she finally realized that the person who was staring at her so incredulously was Yukari. For some reason her friend looked so different to her now, almost as if she were a completely new person. She had the same old wavy hair, the same mischievous eyes, the same childish countenance, but all of that seemed to have taken on a new dimension to Minamo, like she was seeing her friend's true appearance for the very first time. Everything about her just seemed so...endearing now, every facet of her sparkling with a gleam that she had never taken notice of before.

She stared at Yukari, becoming more and more delighted with what she was seeing. There was just something about her friend that seemed so aesthetically pleasing now, every little detail on her face and figure coming together like a beautiful puzzle, and Minamo now found herself becoming quite giddy in her presence. A light-hearted air was sweeping over her, causing her to chuckle unabashedly as glee began to fill her.

Yukari remained laying over the table, her eyes looking up at Minamo with a questioning look. "What the heck's so funny?"

Even though her friend had sounded quite annoyed, Minamo's ears took in every word as a note from a sweet song. "You! I don't think I've ever seen you look so nervous before."

Yukari blew a strand of hair out of her face, slowly sitting up as she made sure that no one was watching them. "Yeah, well...I never seen you cry before. It's weird." She put her hands over her face, massaging it as she breathed out loudly. "Man, if I knew you were gonna' act like that then I wouldn't have gotten' you shit."

Minamo continued to laugh, Yukari's voice tickling her with every intonation of it. She couldn't figure out why, but anything her friend did now just seemed so whimsical. The little changes in expression she made, the agitated manner in which she was speaking, even the way her clothes wrinkled around her just seemed to provide Minamo with so much simple contentment.

_What happened to you, Yukari? You usually look so demented, but now..._

Yukari could only address her friend's sudden cheeriness with a quizzical glare, not at all understanding what was so hilarious, but her attitude began to soften as she started to enjoy how happy Minamo had become. "Yeah...so...don't do that again. You freaked me out."

She nodded genially, agreeing to do what Yukari asked of her. Even though she herself had been greatly surprised at her own breakdown a few minutes ago, that breach of character just didn't matter to Minamo at all anymore. Part of the reason had to do with how good she was feeling at the moment, the joy helping to push the concern out of her head, but what had really chased her anxieties away was this reassuring sense of safety that Yukari was now providing her with.

While her friend was more often than not a source of frustration for Minamo, making her feel a bit like a babysitter at times, she had now somehow transformed into the sole supplier of her confidence. The uncannily kind deeds that Yukari had performed for her tonight had suppressed the heartache that had gotten the best of her earlier, a feat that Minamo had never been able to successfully accomplish on her own. Her usual routine for dealing with the troubles of her loveless life involved burying all of it deep inside of her, enduring the suffering in order to act out her life as normal.

But now, all of that grief had melted away in the warming presence of her fellow teacher, and Minamo was amazed as to why Yukari had never had this effect on her before. Even on those rare occasions when her friend had shown _some_ bit of good will towards her, none of those acts had ever sent her spirit soaring as high as it was right now.

_I've never been this happy with her before. Is it really just because she got me this watch?_

She glanced at Yukari, trying to make sense of everything that had happened tonight.

_Or maybe, it's because no one has ever called me their best friend..._

Another chuckle escaped, Minamo unable to contain the delight that phrase gave her. '_Best friend'. What a sweet ring that has to it._

Since her mood was now intact again, she and Yukari were soon able to resume their night from where they had left off, before Minamo had caved in to the weight of her problems. The anniversary of their friendship was still fresh on their minds, so the pair settled into in a lively conversation about their younger days, bringing up old stories about their school, classmates that they still saw now and then, how their neighborhood had changed over the years. Nostalgia was dripping from every word that was spoken between them, both women laughing loudly as they bantered back and forth, and the other patrons of the bar who witnessed them couldn't help but feel a little admiration for what seemed like a strong, loving relationship between two close companions.

That sense of wonder wasn't just felt by them however. As Minamo continued to converse jovially with Yukari, the fresh affection that she had gained for her continued to reach new heights. She found herself becoming increasingly captivated by Yukari's mannerisms; by the crazy, overzealous way in which she talked and moved, her vivacious charisma filling her with absolute joy. Everything she did just sparkled in her eyes, all of it somehow becoming so sublime, so exciting, and it filled Minamo with an electricity that gave her new life. There was a spontaneity to her now, a freedom of speech that let her words flow out so incessantly and candidly, like she had become a teenager who had far too many things on her mind to say.

They kept on talking on talking, using up almost every tale that they had in their arsenals about their youthful days. When discussing the past had finally begun to lose some of its luster, they then turned their attention to the gift that had been sitting idly in front of Minamo during all their chatting.

"Just rip it open. It's just the stupid packaging."

"I'm getting there, I'm getting there..."

"Dammit', let me do it." Yukari reached over the table, trying to snag the box that contained the watch she had given Minamo, but gave up with some irritation after her friend had successfully played a little game of keep away with her. "Geez, this place is gonna' close before you get that open."

Minamo snickered, placing the box back onto the table as she resumed opening it. "Don't worry. I just like being careful, that's all." She pried the lid apart, removing the contents out slowly as she set everything down in an ordered manner. The documentation for it was fairly bloated, and Minamo realized that at some point she'd have to go through all of it in order to get the most out of the plethora of sports-related features that the watch had. For right now, however, just putting it on and setting the time would be good enough for her.

"If it doesn't fit, I can get another one."

"It's a watch, Yukari, not a pair of pants." She wrapped the device around her wrist, its smooth, gray strap encircling it comfortably. It had such a sleek design, with gracefully flowing curves that gave it a futuristic appearance, and Minamo had trouble believing that she was actually the owner of something so incredibly expensive.

"Thank you again, Yukari."

Yukari didn't look up, her head having dug itself into the hefty manual that the watch had come with. "Yeah, yeah. Don't mention it."

For the next few minutes the duo spent their energies on figuring out how to properly set up the time for it, Yukari quickly losing her patience with the instructions as she flung them towards Minamo. The woman became even more upset when her friend had merely flipped through a few pages to find the proper solution, setting the watch with an ease that made it seem as if she had done it hundreds of times before on this particular model.

Minamo now held her wrist above her head, fawning over her present. "I'm going to try this out first thing tomorrow when I go running."

"Maybe I'll go with you."

She looked at her friend in surprise, Yukari not usually one to engage in any sort of exercise unless there was some sort of reward involved. Minamo actually believed that she was serious about coming with her though, given how friendly she had been acting tonight, but the hope quickly vanished as Yukari stuck her tongue out, a '_Yeah, right'_ expression on her face.

Minamo laughed lightly. "You had me." She looked back to her watch, admiring it again. Although she did love it for the potential fun it could give her, what had really cemented her attachment to the gift was the fact that Yukari had been the one who had gotten it for her. Minamo had received some wonderful presents in the past from all kinds of people in her life, but not one of those items had ever given her as much joy as this one had.

_Out of anyone who would do something as crazy as this, I'm so glad it was you._

As she continued to marvel at her present and the person who had given her it, Minamo suddenly felt as if something was wrong with the situation, like some detail hadn't yet been addressed.

The answer came upon her quickly, however. "Hey, Yukari."

"Yeah?"

"You know, since this is all to mark the occasion of how long we've been friends, well, that means I should be getting something for you, too." She touched the watch with her other hand. "But...I don't think I can get you anything as nice as this. I hope that will be ok."

Yukari rested back in her chair casually, her eyes staring at the ceiling as she took her time in answering. "That's kinda' dumb to say, 'cause I don't see how you can top what you already got me."

Minamo could only look at her friend with a puzzled expression. "What are you talking about? I didn't get you anything..."

"Sure ya' did. I got it right after I gave you that thing."

"What...? What did you get?"

"I got to see you smile."

For a few moments Minamo could only stare blankly at Yukari, her friend's gaze still scraping the ceiling. She hadn't at all been prepared to hear her say something like that, especially by how candidly it had come out of her.

But slowly, the weight of those few words began to sink into her, and as they did, that tantalizing itch returned to her chest. This time, however, there was nothing fleeting about it.

_My...smile?_

That itch was lingering inside of her now, picking up a cadence that was gradually morphing it from a small tingle into a strong pulse, every beat sending the slightest warmth into Minamo's cheeks as she suddenly found herself averting her eyes from Yukari. A bashfulness had come over her now, born from the fact of knowing that her friend had been observing some attribute of her.

_My smile...my smile..._

The words kept echoing around in her mind, Minamo finding herself becoming completely infatuated with them. Although she had been complimented on her features many a time before, none of that praise had ever had the effect that Yukari's was now having on her. There was just something so enticing from knowing that she, of all people, had taken delight in the simple act of her just looking happy.

_Why is this making me feel so dizzy? Is it because she's never done this before? I don't think I've ever heard her talk about me so nicely..._

Something suddenly pricked at her consciousness, a small needle of recollection.

_No...no, that's not true._

It was the strangest thing, but Minamo had just felt the slightest breeze of deju vu blow by her. There was something about how she was feeling now, about the situation she was in, that had unexpectedly become so familiar to her. She thought she was starting to go crazy, but Minamo could have sworn that, at some point in her past, her usually obstinate, inattentive best friend had said something so similar to what she had just told her.

A laugh interrupted her trance, Minamo zoning back to reality as she saw Yukari watching her with a bemused grin, her head resting on a hand as she leaned over the table. She looked as if she was finding humor in how shy her friend had become, and Minamo felt her self-consciousness take control once more as it tugged her eyes away again.

_Why can't I look at her now...?_

Yukari continued to laugh sheepishly, and Minamo felt goosebumps come upon her with every little cackle. "Yeah, sorry. That was kinda' corny, huh?"

She glued her stare to the table, not daring to look up. "No...no, it wasn't. I was just...surprised that you'd say something like that. That's, kind of unlike you."

"Yeah, well..."

A period of awkward silence came between them, neither woman really sure on how to continue the conversation, but Minamo was coming to the point at where she felt she _had_ to say something. A part of herself didn't want this occasion to end after having become so enamored with what she was going through, now under the spell of a thrill that was _begging_ for more compliments to fuel it, that sought more admiration from the woman who taken a deeper notice of her.

Minamo had never been one to blatantly fish for appreciation though, much too modest about herself to ever go that far, but the dead air between them was starting to choke her now. _Think, think..._

"Y-Yukari...it's, really nice, for you to say something like that, but...I still want to get you a real present."

Yukari shrugged. "Well, I dunno'. If you really wanna'..." She thought to herself, a little glint coming into her eyes. "I know. How about you do somethin' for me instead of buyin' somethin'?"

"Do something? Like what?"

"You gotta' make me a promise."

The deja vu that Minamo was experiencing suddenly became stronger, her friend's words triggering another round of it, and she now felt as if she wasn't in control of her actions anymore. It was like she was watching herself talk with her friend now, viewing an actress who was performing in a role that she had played before. "A promise?"

"Yup, yup. If you don't do it then I'm takin' that watch back, ok?"

_'...I'll take it back...'_

Her eyes opened in surprise for a second, everything that Yukari was saying now reverberating with memories. "O-ok..."

"Ok. Alright, so, you promise me that you won't get into that stupid dumpy mood again, and I'll call it even, ok?"

_'...we'll be even...'_

Minamo's breathing began to pick up pace. "Yukari...I want to get you something rea-"

_"It's my present so you get me what the hell I want!"_

She jumped in her seat, Yukari employing that trademark commanding voice of hers for whenever she got impatient. "Alright! Alright, ok...I'll do that, then. I promise."

"Good, good." Yukari sat herself up, clapping her hands together as her voice instantly became friendly again. "You're no fun when you're bummed out. Ya' know, you need to cheer the hell up more, because, I mean, you got nothin' to ever worry about, anyways."

Minamo finally looked up, her curiosity overcoming her shyness. "What? What do you mean?"

Yukari chuckled, and what she did next completely changed the world around Minamo.

_What...?_

All her friend had done, after her laughter had ended, was simply grin at her. But the _way_ she had done so had set off something inside of Minamo, releasing a memory that came to suddenly flood her entire consciousness.

The woman who was sitting in front of her had suddenly disappeared, and in her place now sat a young high school girl. She had the messiest, most frivolous brown hair that she had ever seen, tied up terribly with a red band. Somehow, though, that style seemed to suit the girl, fitting together well with this impish aura that she had about her, like there was never a moment when a mischievous thought wasn't inside her head.

But what Minamo had noticed most of all about this girl, what had caught the attention of her heart, was the expression that she wore.

On her face was this silly, almost absurd looking grin, one that might make any other person who looked at it feel as if they were viewing a bona fide troublemaker. To Minamo, however, there was a much deeper impression to be gleaned. The smile had this gallantry to it, a touch of confidence that filled Minamo with an overwhelming sense of relief, as if this girl was some kind of hero who had come to save her day.

And then, she spoke.

_'What do you got to worry about, if I'm always gonna' be here to take care of ya'?'_

The girl vanished with her last word, and Minamo was left staring at Yukari again, that dashing grin on the woman's face now the most elegant of smiles.

"Right, Nyamo?"

Minamo didn't hear her at all, because the voice of her own mind was now drowning everything else out.

_'...take care of you...take care of you...take care of you...'_

Every little syllable, every little inflection of Yukari's voice was running rampant inside of her head now, all of it setting her senses on fire as her chest began to pound furiously, her face becoming completely flushed as she was forced to look away from her friend yet again.

_I feel...incredible...!_

There was a joy in her now that far surpassed what she had felt earlier, an immeasurable sensation that Minamo knew, after dealing with all of the nostalgia that had come upon her, that she had experienced once before, a long, long time ago. It caused her skin to sheen with sweat, her breaths coming out so forcefully from her lungs as her body tried to cope with the uncontrollable euphoria that it was going through.

_Yukari...Yukari...Yukari..._

All she could think about was her friend, who had now become more amazing to her than anyone else in the entire world. Yukari was the only person who had always stayed with her, had always been by her side through rocky times, who had always chosen her company over everyone else that they knew. Even if she could be juvenile and callous towards her at times, there was still no one else who had _ever _made Minamo feel as good as she did right now.

And no one else, from every friend she had ever made, from every date she had ever gone out with, had accomplished what Yukari had just done for her.

At the very core of her heart, Minamo started to feel something move. That aching void, the pain that had been afflicting her with grief for so many years, had finally begun to close in upon itself, mending together as if someone had taken a needle and thread to it.

_Yukari..._

Her body took control of her, forcing Minamo to look up and address her friend. She was just a puppet now, her strings being pulled by something that was far greater than herself.

_I..._

_I..._

"I...l-"

She gasped.

From out of nowhere, another old, familiar feeling had suddenly come into her. This one, however, was not one that filled her with any happiness, any amazement.

It was a black hole, sucking up everything that she had just experienced, taking away every ounce of pleasure that had touched her as it left behind a cold, depressing emptiness. The sadness that had taken her in the morning had returned, attacking her with a blade of shame that completely pierced through her heart and undid every seam that had just been sown together.

There was terrible guilt inside of Minamo now, born from a crime of which she had absolutely no recollection of ever committing, and she felt herself giving way to the weight of paranoia.

_I haven't done anything wrong...no one would hate me..._

"Hey, you ok?"

Her eyes looked up to Yukari for just a second, before that tearing shame forced her to look away.

_No, they would...they're all looking at me...they hate me...she...!_

Just a few moments ago, Minamo had desired nothing else but to be with Yukari for as long as she possibly could tonight. But now, she found that she wanted to be nowhere near the woman.

* * *

She woke up in fright, choking for air.

_Yukari!_

Her senses returned to her quickly, and Minamo found herself in the darkness of her apartment, laying on her bed in the clothes that she had gone out to the bar with.

_Right, right...I'm home._

She looked over at her table clock, the bright display telling her that it was past midnight. Minamo had returned to her apartment from her night out with Yukari just a few hours ago, throwing herself onto her bed the moment that she had arrived. She had been much too exhausted to care about taking a shower or changing into proper sleep wear, seeking the comfort of her pillow far more than the feeling of being cleanly.

A groan escaped from her, and she held her head to try and alleviate the throbbing that was going on inside of it, a leftover reminder from all the drinking that she had done before she had left the bar. Through the haze of intoxication, she could vaguely remember trying to wash away something with the liquor she had consumed, an awful feeling that had beset her while she was having fun with Yukari.

_Yukari..._

Her memory after that was spotty at best. Yukari had paid their tab and then helped Minamo home, both acts being firsts for her since they had known each other. She then recalled being in the passenger seat of her car, being led up some stairs, falling asleep, and then...

She shuddered.

_Why did you leave me...?_

Minamo shook her head, the nightmare that had jolted her awake still fresh in her mind. She turned onto her side, staring into the black night with wide eyes.

_You wouldn't do that to me. You never would..._

The haunting images from her slumber still lingered on, being shown in front of her eyes over and over again like some kind of cruel torture. When she had first entered her dream, it had all started off innocently enough, a typical workday on a bright morning. She had been walking down one of the school hallways with Yukari, talking happily with her after they had just arrived on campus. The details of what they had been conversing about weren't very clear to her, but she remembered feeling so good as they traversed down the corridor, Minamo delighted to just be with Yukari as she made the most of her time with her.

The tone of their dialogue soon began to change, however. Minamo had said something that had angered her friend, of whom had then started to say less and less to her as they continued to walk, eventually coming to a point where Yukari had become totally silent, like she was intentionally ignoring her.

And then, in the blink of an eye, she was gone.

When Minamo had realized that her fellow teacher had disappeared a panic had filled her, causing her to frantically search everywhere for Yukari until she finally spotted her in her homeroom, teaching one of her classes. Relief had filled her then, but when she tried to enter the room herself, to be close to Yukari again, she had found that there was no handle on the door, no way to slide it open. It was stuck shut, leaving her locked out and only able to watch her friend talk to a group of anonymous students as she peered through the entry's small window.

_'Yukari! Yukari, I'm out here still!'_

Minamo had begun to yell, becoming alarmed as the idea of being separated from her friend had entered her mind. Yukari, however, just stood there at the front of her class, completely oblivious to her pleas and acting as if her friend didn't even exist outside in the hallway.

That thought then, that her beloved friend could possibly forget about her, had terrified Minamo. She had then started to scream, becoming more and more desperate for her friend to let her in, a cold fear building up inside of her as the possibility of being abandoned had started to make the shift into reality.

_'Open it up! Please, don't leave me alone...'_

Minamo had then started to go crazy, pounding on the door with all her might to try and break it down, willing to do anything so that she could be with Yukari again, to have her acknowledge her presence once more. Nothing, however, was working for her, and as the dim prospect of being forever cut off from her friend dawned upon her, she began to feel a sharp, agonizing pain flare up inside of her chest. The torment that it had given her was immense, and she had started to become sick as that suffering shot through her, a dreadful nausea overtaking Minamo as something warm had begun to fill her mouth, some morbid taste that had entered it.

She had looked at Yukari one more time through the glass window, but the room had emptied out, and Minamo was left staring at the reflection of her own pale face, a stream of blood gushing out through her lips, flowing straight down her body.

And then she had woken up.

Minamo closed her eyes, trying her best to calm herself so that she could fall back to sleep, to forget about her dream, about the awkward end to her night out.

_Just relax, Minamo, it's not real. You had way too much to eat and drink, so that's why you're having nightmares now. Calm down, calm down..._

Eventually, sleep did come to her again, and the distress that she had endured began to dissipate, the memories of the long day becoming blurred as her mind smeared them away, allowing her to gently rest so that she could recover from it all.

And as she nodded off, the new watch that she had received from her friend still found itself wrapped around her wrist, silently counting the time as the night passed along.

Minamo would never know of it, but while she slept, her other hand had come over to clutch her precious gift, holding on to it dearly to ensure that it couldn't somehow leave her.


	6. Part I Chapter 6

**Author's Notes**

Hey hey!

Apologies for another long wait :) Hopefully the next one won't take as long!

I'm trying something a little new this time. I added an illustration to go along with this chapter, and plan to do the same with both chapters I've already done and future ones to come. Originally, I had wanted to include it right at the end as a little link, but unfortunately found out that FF doesn't allow links in stories :(

So, I added the link to my FF profile page instead (just click on my name at the top of the page to go there). There's only one picture so far in the chapter index that I've started, but as said before, I'll add more to it soon.

I'd really love some feedback on this, as I'd like to know if you all feel that it adds to the story appropriately :) Also, I think it's best to check out the picture *after* you've finished a chapter :)

Hope you enjoy it all. Comments, critiques, and grammar checks always welcome!

~Mendhi

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything related to Azumanga Daioh. Don't sue me bro!

* * *

Part I

Chapter Six

"So, did you try it out yet?"

_"Well, uh, it took me all day to set this crap up, but I'm about to."_

Minamo laughed while she gazed out of a window in the faculty room, watching a few clouds lazily sail by as she sat at her desk. "I told you I'd help you out with it after school was over."

_"I ain't waitin' for your ass to get here. I got butts to whoop."_

"Oh come on, a few more hours wouldn't kill you, and you know how you are with instructions..."

_"Shut up! It's your fault for going to work and not helpin' me, chump."_

She sighed. "It's my job to be here, and yours too."

A bout of cackling suddenly crept out of Minamo's cellphone, Yukari's laughter always sounding to her like that of some old witch. "_Maybe if you, ya'know, were more responsible with yer' days off, then you wouldn't be there._"

"Please, I'm not going to use them to play some video games. Look, anyways, what did you want me to pick up on the way ove-"

"_Beer!_"

"Oh, sorry, I assumed that was a given..."

Yukari ignored her comment, her voice incessantly bursting from the phone now as she began to list off a plethora of other drinks and snacks, all of which that she wanted her coworker to bring to her house after work. Minamo could only respond by rolling her eyes, taking her phone from her ear and facing it away from herself as she let the woman converse with the empty air. _I'm not going to buy any of this._

She took a quick glance around the workroom as Yukari prattled on. It was lunch time, so a good amount of the other teachers were present at their own desks, eating their meals and just passing the time away. Minamo had finished her own food already, deciding to give her friend a call afterwards since she hadn't come to school today. Yukari had decided to take most of the week off after she had finally purchased the game console that she had wanted for so long, using up a few of her vacation days so that she could properly inaugurate it into her home. Minamo had once again helped her out with the budgeting for it, even chipping in some of her own money this time to help speed up the process. It was the only thing she could afford to do for her, the only form of present that Yukari had allowed her to get in exchange for the incredible gift that she herself had given to Minamo.

She looked down at the watch upon her wrist, adoring its sleek design. _I wish I could have gotten something more for you. Something half as good as this at least..._

A chuckle escaped from her, Minamo's eyes returning to the pleasant afternoon sky outside as a memory began to roll around in her mind.

_After all this time, I still can't believe that you did that..._

She leaned back in her chair as a familiar feeling began to waft through her, a warmth that flickered to life whenever she thought about that eventful night at the bar from a few months ago, when Yukari had given her the expensive watch that she loved so much. The makeshift anniversary of their friendship had never been an entirely clear recollection for Minamo, the amount of drinking she had done afterwards causing some of the more awkward moments to become a smudge on her consciousness, but the joy that she had experienced when Yukari had referred to her as her "best friend", a title that no one had ever given to Minamo before, was something that had become impossible to erase from her memories.

There had been something about hearing Yukari's need of her companionship, the confirmation of it, that had left a lingering delight inside of Minamo, one that hadn't lost its zest over the summer and days thereafter. Every glance at her precious gift had always then reminded her of the happiness that she had felt when her coworker had spoken to her so reassuringly, Yukari's kind words and actions melting away all the despairs that had plagued her soul on that day. It had been so unlike her friend to shed her usual callousness, to reveal a part of herself that she normally felt so hesitant about letting other people see: her compassionate side. Even though Minamo was one of the privileged few who _had_ bared witness to those rare bouts of thoughtfulness, that particular breach of the woman's character had been an entirely new experience for her. Yukari was usually a bit narcissistic in her relationships with others, acting as if she would be alright with or without their company, but on that night she had admitted that there was at least one person in her life that she required around her, someone whose simple smile was more than enough of a reason for that desire to exist inside of her.

_Smile..._

She shivered just slightly, a tickle lighting up inside of her.

_You..._

The sensation passed, leaving a relaxing calm in its wake. It was the strangest thing to Minamo, but whenever she thought about Yukari's need for her to be happy, she couldn't help but become just the slightest bit giddy over it. Ever since the woman had established the status of their friendship at the bar, Minamo had felt a sense of excitement whenever Yukari now showed even the slightest bit of consideration towards her. At first, she had just chocked up that thrill to the renewed affection that she had for Yukari, becoming naturally closer to her friend after she had put on such a show of kindness, but something about that answer had never seemed quite right. There was a peculiarity to it that Minamo couldn't figure out, of the way that she could sometimes feel about her coworker now. It was like the woman had become more than a friend, even a best friend, and on some level Minamo even believed that she had been _waiting_ for Yukari to declare some official need of her, to allow the dynamics of their overall relationship to somehow evolve.

Whatever was going on though, all that Minamo understood was that she felt so good whenever she was in the presence of Yukari now, even when her friend's attitude was a little unbearable, and had acquired an urge to spend more time with her. Through the course of the summer she had found herself at Yukari's house almost every other day, going over to just hang around with her, adventure out at night together, and overall generally try to properly fit the "best friend" mold that she had been cast into. She had even gone so far as to accompany Yukari on a little beach trip with a few of their students, a trek out of town together being something that they hadn't done in quite awhile, due to Minamo's normally busy schedule.

Her free time, even while on vacation, was usually spent by managing her coaching activities and other hobbies, never leaving her too much opportunity to go out and socialize with friends. That, however, had all been slowly changing, Minamo now putting forth the effort to _make_ time to see Yukari whenever she could, letting go of her usual solitary lifestyle in order to be in her friend's company more often. Even today, in the middle of a work week, she had planned to head over to Yukari's place after school so that she could enjoy the evening with her, something that Minamo would have never done before their little anniversary had taken place, given all her responsibilities.

_There's not much club activity going on now, anyways. I mean, if it comes to it, I'll just take some work to her house and finish it up..._

_"Dammit', are you listening to me?"_

Yukari's voice abruptly screeched through the phone, breaking Minamo's train of thought as she quickly returned the device to her ear. "I am! I am! Look, don't worry. I promise I'll pick up something on th-"

"Coach?"

Minamo turned around in her seat. A tanned girl, sporting short, messy brown hair to match her complexion, was looking down at her curiously.

"Sorry. Am I interrupting something?"

Minamo chuckled. "No, no you aren't, Kagura. Give me one second, ok?"

"Sure."

She spun herself to face her desk again. "Yukari, I have someone here. I'll catch you a little after work, alright?"

_"Wait! I'm not done talkin' to ya' yet ya' stupid bimbo-"_

Minamo flipped her phone closed, turning back to her visitor with a chagrined look on her face since Yukari's last words had been quite audible. "So, so...what's up?"

The girl tilted her head, as if she were deciding on whether or not to inquire about who the other person on the line was, but seemed to lose interest quickly. "Umm...sorry to bother you, but...I need to talk to you about something. I need some advice."

Minamo set her phone on the desk and fully brought her chair around to face the young student, noticing the somberness present in both her voice and her face. "Is something wrong?"

Kagura sighed, looking around the room as she eyed the other faculty members that were present. "Yeah, but, if it's ok, I'd like to talk to you about it alone somewhere."

Minamo stole a glance at her coworkers as well, understanding the girl's concern, and then noted the time on her watch. "Well, we have about thirty minutes until class starts. Want to go outside and talk, then? Walk around, maybe?"

"Oh, yeah, that would work."

"Alright, then. Just give me a few minutes to clean up quick and I'll come meet you out at the main entrance, ok?"

"Yeah, ok. Thanks, coach." Kagura gave her a little bow, waving her hand as she exited the workroom.

Minamo watched her as she left, her stare lingering at the open door after she was gone.

_I wonder what's got her down? She's normally so upbeat._

She sighed, her mood falling just a touch as apprehension about her student's dilemma began to weigh down upon her. Since Minamo was a homeroom teacher, she not only had a duty to instruct her kids in the subject matter that she was in charge of, but also had to act as a sort of counselor to them whenever they required assistance of a more personal nature. In her career she had helped many kids overcome a wide variety of difficulties, even gaining a bit of a reputation around the campus for her successes, but all of that experience had never been able to numb down the pity that Minamo always felt when witnessing a young teen suffer from distress, just as Kagura appeared to have been.

She turned around, organizing her desk a bit as she pondered over her student. The girl was a part of Minamo's homeroom class, a spirited first year who had also joined the swim team that she coached and had fast become one of her best members, displaying a level of athletic talent that rivaled even the most experienced seniors on the squad. A passion for competition ran strongly through her, the enthusiasm that she always brought to their practices seeming to be just a natural aspect of her overall personality, Minamo herself even becoming impressed by the positive attitude that Kagura always had about her.

But the girl who she had just spoken to a few minutes ago possessed none of that usual cheerfulness, the optimism that Minamo had become so fond of all but absent. She tried to recall if her student had been out of sorts in the morning as well, when she had first seen her at homeroom, but couldn't really remember anything out of the ordinary in terms of behavior.

_Maybe she was holding it in since her friends were around?_

Minamo shrugged. Whatever was going on, she would just have to go address her student and help her out with whatever she could. Her desk was in order now, so she stood up and finally took her leave of the workroom as well, venturing into the hallway and gradually making her way out of the building.


	7. Part I Chapter 7

**Author's Notes**

Hey hey!

Long chapter! There is an illustration for it as well. Just check my profile for the link.

Comments, critiques, and grammar checks always welcome!

~Mendhi

P.S. Grats to Japan for winning the Women's World Cup! Yay!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything related to Azumanga Daioh. Don't sue me bro!

* * *

Part I

Chapter 7

The temperature outside was finally becoming easier to tolerate as summer lost its influence upon it, the September weather gradually diminishing its hold. The air was still a bit warm, but much cooler in comparison to the furnace of the last few months, some brisk winds even fleeting about the school campus as they attempted to chase the heat away.

It was a decent atmosphere to walk around in now, neither too cold nor too hot, and it was just the way that Minamo liked it.

She descended down the steps of the main high school entrance with her hands in her sports jacket's pockets, taking in a deep breath to enjoy the taste of the day as she made her way outside. Although she was usually fine with most kinds of weather, a love of the outdoors allowing her to tolerate it all well, her preference was usually towards the more moderate times of the year. Since Minamo was a P.E. teacher, her job had her regularly spending a good amount of time outside on the school's athletic grounds, managing large groups of students who didn't have as much resilience against the varying temperatures of the seasons as she did. When the weather became a bit extreme, she would often find herself assaulted by endless cycles of whining from her classes as they worked out in those rough conditions, their groaning even bringing her normally solid composure to the breaking point. But when the temperature settled into a more lukewarm state, the mild air would then soothe her student's dissent, allowing her ears some relief from it all even if only for a few weeks.

Fortunately for Minamo though, there were at least a few kids in her classes that never got on her nerves as the seasons changed, that served as anchors of sanity throughout any hot or frigid day. They were a rarity amongst the regular students, girls and boys whose favorite class was her P.E. period and of whom she never heard any amount of grumbling from, no matter how bad the weather might be. Their common trait was simply a great love for sports and exercise, always taking any chance that they could get to be outdoors, and Minamo always dearly wished that she could have more than just a handful of that particular breed in her classes. She easily loved people that shared her sporting lifestyle, so it was natural for her to always develop her best school relationships with the kids that did as well; budding young athletes of whom she could personally identify with, that she could take delight in as she watched them excel with their given talents.

And, at the very moment, Minamo's most favorite pupil out of that bunch was striding right beside her down the stairs.

She took a quick glance over at Kagura, the young freshman who had come seeking her counsel today, and found a little amusement in the fact that the tan the girl always appeared to have was still as healthy as it was when they had first met each other back in April, when the new school year had begun.

_Is there a day when you don't go outside, kiddo'?_

Minamo smiled to herself, wondering over the amount of time that her student must spend under the light of the sun, always exercising or conditioning herself in some manner so that she could improve her athletic performance. The girl's sole aim in life seemed to revolve around becoming a professional in the world of sports, her auburn skin serving as a testament to the amount of physical training that she put in towards that goal. All her hard work had definitely paid off as well, Minamo rarely encountering a teenager that was as strong and fit as Kagura was, her body being nothing short of a machine that ran off an almost endless amount of raw athletic talent.

She was, essentially, any coach's dream member, full of prowess and determination, and Minamo was more than thankful that Kagura had chosen the swim team as her initial foray into the world of high school sports. From their very first practice her student had impressed her thoroughly, even to the point at where she had allowed the gifted youth a chance to participate in their competitive meets right off the bat, an honor which was usually reserved for her most experienced seniors. Kagura, of course, had been quite ecstatic to have had the opportunity to show off her stuff, and since then had come to develop a bit of fondness for the sensei that had presented it to her.

During the course of the school year the girl had become a familiar presence for Minamo, Kagura often visiting her on breaks so that she could hang around and chat with her favorite faculty member. The conversations that they had were usually quite lively due to the amount of common interests that they shared, the performance of their favorite sports teams or ways to improve athletically being their normal topics of choice, and Minamo had come to look forward to participating in them on a daily basis. There weren't many other students or faculty members that she could have such serious discussions about her hobbies with, so the girl's visits were always a breath of fresh air to her throughout the typical school day, acting as little stress relievers when the work began to pile up.

And as the months went on, that mutual understanding that she had with Kagura had gradually developed into genuine affection for her. Minamo saw the girl as a sort of kid sister now, someone that she cared for and looked after intensely, and so it was hard for her to bear witness to the dejected state that her favorite student was currently in today. She was so used to the sheer spirit that Kagura normally possessed, an upbeat attitude that Minamo simply adored, but at the moment that vigor had somehow become replaced with this empty blandness that corroded it all.

_Was she like this earlier? I don't remember._

Before she met the girl at lunch today, when Kagura had come seeking her help for whatever was troubling her, Minamo had first seen her in morning homeroom as usual. She thought her student had appeared to be in her normal mood then, but it was possible that her sullen demeanor had just simply gone unnoticed on her own part since there were a plethora of other girls and boys that she had to pay attention to as well.

_Or, maybe she was hiding it..._

She furrowed her brow as that possibility went through her mind. While Kagura was indeed a tough kid on the outside, Minamo had eventually come to learn that her student did have a bit of a soft heart underneath it all. The girl was the type of person that didn't enjoy being the concern of others, who feigned bravado over injuries so that none of her friends or team mates would have to worry over her. It was essentially a modesty about her own problems, mixed with what Minamo felt was an inexperience about being able to convey deeper sets of thoughts and emotions. Her student usually shied away from conversations that involved herself on a more personal level, never really appearing to be comfortable with topics that ranged outside of her immediate interests, even when talking to Minamo. While they were indeed close to each other, there was still this slight formal gap that Minamo had always sensed between them, at least on Kagura's end, and she couldn't help but feel a little disappointment whenever the girl become a bit reluctant towards her on certain matters, as if she didn't fully trust her yet.

_Well...at least she's coming to me about this, whatever it is. Maybe we've known each other long enough now as to where she finally feels safe enough to talk to me about more personal things._

Minamo pulled her wrist out of her jacket's pocket slightly, just enough so that she could check the time on her watch. For the last few minutes they had just been walking together silently as they put some distance between themselves and the main building, Minamo wanting privacy for their conversation so that Kagura would feel secure enough to talk openly. She was satisfied that they were well anyways now though, so she decided to get things started before anymore of their lunch period was used up. "Ok. So, Kagura...what did you want my help on?"

The girl looked over to her slowly, her arms folded behind her head casually as she walked. "Oh...yeah, umm, well..." Her eyes darted around, as if something was distracting her. "I guess I don't want 'help' so much as, like...I want some assurance, I guess."

"Assurance?"

"Yeah, like…" She paused for a few moments, gathering her thoughts together. "I know I'm kinda' new to the swim team and all, but...do you think I'm good, coach?"

Minamo gave her a humorous look. "Is that what's bothering you, with that sour face? What, do you think I'm going to bench you or something?"

"Oh, no, no way! That's not what...I didn't mean it like that. I mean more like…'good', as in...long term, like, if I keep swimming, or whatever, and do ok, then I really can maybe, ya' know, go to the nationals or something. And then maybe after college, kind of go pro and stuff."

"Ah, I get it. You want to know if you're good enough to make a career out of it, yeah?"

"Yeah, that's what I mean."

"Well…" She took a second to ponder the question. "If you keep at what you're doing, as in practicing all the time like you do now, then I don't really have any doubt that you'll go far. But really, Kagura, only you know the answer to that in the long run, right?"

"Me…?"

She gave her a smile. "Yes, you. I think you really do have potential, but I can't really make a definite call and tell you whether you'll make it or not. Making a sport your life, or, anything really, has a lot more to do than just talent."

Kagura frowned. "Like what?"

"You know, being dedicated to what you do, not giving up, all of that. It's kind of like...oh, like as in what one of my old coaches told me. She said that anyone can develop skills, but developing heart is something that only a few ever really do. Do you understand what that means?"

Her student bit her lower lip, mulling the words over as she glanced at the ground. "Yeah, I do. I agree with it."

"Good! But, really, you won't know if you'll make it or not if you don't try, right? That's all you have to do, and then be happy that you did, even if things don't go your way. I think you'll do fine though, Kagura, so really, you shouldn't worry about that when you're this young."

Kagura looked back over to her. "Yeah, I get it. Thanks, coach. I guess I was just having some confidence problems, so hearing things from you helps."

Minamo stared at her quizzically, her student's words sounding quite absurd to her. The girl was normally one of the most confident athletes that she had ever met, and so for her to have doubts about herself just didn't seem at all possible. "Really? _You_? Why would you think something like that?"

"...I dunno'...I guess, you know, we all question ourselves sometimes, right?"

"Well, sure, but this seems kind of out of the blue for you. You didn't look like you had any doubts about yourself at practice yesterday, or look bummed out like you do now."

Kagura fidgeted, trying to look a bit more upbeat. "Oh, well...it was just something that I thought about last night, when I was going to bed. Like, 'Can I really do this?', and stuff. Because...I know it's a lot of hard work to do, and not many people get to go all the way, so I was kind of feeling like I might not be good enough."

Minamo frowned, something about her student's tone of voice just not making her words feel very genuine. They were a bit hurried in pace, as if she didn't want to converse anymore and was just simply giving her a mock answer so that she could leave. "Ok, sure, but there has to be a better reason than that, though. Maybe if you didn't do well at the meets or something, then it would make sense, but you did great, so, it just confuses me as to what could make you think such silly things."

Kagura didn't answer, keeping quiet as they continued to walk. Her face was set with confusion now, as if she were wrestling with some decision.

Minamo looked at her curiously, wondering what was _actually_ on the girl's mind. While she did believe that Kagura had come to her today in order to hear some words of encouragement from her, the _real_ reason for doing so seemed to be something that she didn't want to talk about. The girl had probably hoped that the advice she would be given would be enough to overcome whatever was truly bothering her, so that she wouldn't have to get into the hard details of it.

_That would make sense, given what a softy she is. But...come on, Kagura, don't we get along well? I hate to see you down like this, so why can't you tell me a little more about what's bugging you? Don't you trust me? I'll help you, no matter whatever it is tha-_

An idea came to her.

_Ahh, maybe not 'what', but rather..._

"Hey, Kagura. You...get along well with the other girls, right?"

Her student looked up from her little reverie. "Huh? On the team, you mean?"

"Right."

"Well, yeah...everyone is really cool."

"So, you like everyone, then? No one is giving you a tough time or anything?"

Kagura crooked her head at her. "Uhh...I don't think so. What do you mean?"

"Well...you know, teammates are usually pretty close to each other, but once in awhile, not everyone gets along, you know? Sometimes they get jealous of each other, or don't like seeing others get so much attention, like they don't want to see them succeed. Just things like that."

For a very brief moment there was some surprise on Kagura's face, and Minamo felt that she had just slightly touched upon whatever the girl might actually be fretting over. "Y-yeah...I know what you mean, but, no, no one is like that, that I know of anyways."

She gave her a stern look. "Are you sure? Because, to be honest, Kagura, you don't seem like the type of person to have doubts about yourself, so I'm wondering if anyone has been giving you a hard time at the pool, you know?"

"No, really, coach...everyone is ok with me, honest."

"The seniors? Are they picking on you any?"

Kagura laughed weakly. "I'm being honest...I really like everyone, and none of them are being mean to me or anything."

Minamo scrutinized her for a moment. The uneasiness that had been in the girl's voice a few minutes ago wasn't present now, Kagura sounding like she was being truthful with her words, but Minamo still felt as if she were on to something. She had ventured a guess that it could have possibly been some other person that had taken a shot at the girl's self-belief, like a jealous senior on the swim team who had decided to give a little grief to the young freshman after being out-ranked on the roster. Although that sort of bullying was a bit rare on the women's side of things, it still had happened in Minamo's experience, both in her coaching career and as a competitor herself back in the day.

For this particular instance, however, that didn't seem to be the case, at least from what Kagura was saying. Minamo did believe her, but she just couldn't ignore what her gut was telling her now. She really did feel that someone else had shaken the girl's confidence, but Kagura's humbleness about her own problems was keeping the truth locked away.

"Anyways...that's all I needed. Thanks, coach. I'll see ya' later today."

Minamo took one of her hands from her pockets and placed it on Kagura's shoulder, halting her as she looked on with genuine concern. "Hey, hold up a sec..."

"Y-yeah...?"

"You know...ok, let me say this first. I'm not doubting you or anything, Kagura, but really, if _anyone_ ever gives you a hard time on the team, or other kids, or whatever, I want you to tell me, ok? Don't feel like you can't come to others when you need some help. I mean, I'm glad you came to talk to me about feeling down, but, what I'm talking about is stuff that's a bit more personal, ok? I understand if you don't want to talk about some things, but...I just don't like seeing you sad, kiddo', and you still look sad. I came out here with you because I wanted to fix that, but it doesn't look like I'm helping at all."

Kagura looked away from her, having been caught unaware that whatever was on her mind was still effecting her outward expression. "No, no, you did, but..." She sighed. "I dunno'. I just don't like worrying anyone."

Minamo smiled at her warmly. "That's ok, Kagura. If they...we, get worried, then it's just because we care about you. It's also a nice thing to do, to let us help with your problems I mean, because it shows that you trust us." She patted the girl's shoulder. "And you like it when others trust you, right? Doesn't that feel good, when they can tell you things freely?"

Her student looked at her awkwardly. "You mean like...sharing things together?"

"Yes, kind of like that. But it's more like..." She paused as she thought. "When I let you compete at the tournaments, it was for a few reasons. Obviously you're very good at swimming, but, I also felt that you were grown up enough to handle the pressure it can bring, you know, when you're out there in the lanes." She moved her hand to place it on Kagura's head, messing with her hair a bit. "I put my trust in you, kiddo', because I knew you could help the team, because I have respect for you and what you can do. Do you get it?"

Kagura didn't answer her immediately, just simply staring at her sensei as the words sunk in, the faintest bit of redness now showing through her tanned cheeks. "You...really think that about me?"

"Of course! And, I hope you can trust me too, Kagura, because I want to help you out, like you help our team, ok?"

The girl frowned, looking away again as she debated something with herself.

Minamo placed her hand back into her pocket and then waited patiently as Kagura remained quiet. She had no doubt now that there was something more to her student's dilemma, but the girl still appeared as if she weren't quite ready to talk about it all yet.

_Is it really something that personal?_

She continued to watch Kagura, whose demeanor was now starting to give off the impression that she wanted to leave, to go off by herself for the rest of the lunch period, and Minamo couldn't help but feel a little hurt by the notion. Her favorite part about being a teacher was becoming a good friend to her kids, to always be there for them when they didn't have anyone else to go to, and so to witness her most adored student still display a hesitancy towards her aide, the one who she loved to be called "coach" by even outside of practices, was a terribly bitter feeling for her to taste.

_Maybe I'm thinking too highly about myself? Maybe she doesn't see me as I thought she did..._

Minamo sighed, consigning to defeat. She was just about to tell Kagura that she would leave her be when the girl suddenly looked back towards her, a warm, inviting look painting her face now as her brown eyes came to level with the blue-gray of her sensei's.

"Yeah, I do. I trust you, coach."

Minamo blinked a few times before she could answer, caught in surprise as a mix of relief and happiness washed over her. "I'm…I'm really glad to hear that, Kagura…"

They both looked awkwardly down at the ground, silence between them now, neither student nor teacher having any idea on how to continue the conversation after just having their emotions tested. It was a bit strange to Minamo, but she felt as if she had just really connected with the girl for the very first time, beyond simply talking about their favorite activities. There was this quality about Kagura now that she had never felt from her before, an air of longing and need, as if the girl had finally found someone that she was truly comfortable to be around, that she could safely discuss more of her life with.

It was the trust that Minamo had wanted from her student all along, the bond that finally cemented them as true mentor and pupil, and it felt wonderful to her.

After a few more moments she finally looked up at Kagura, smiling as she saw that her student had done just the same, her face returning her sensei's expression.

The girl spoke first, her face becoming a bit grave now. "I wanna' ask you something, coach, and…you can be honest with me and stuff, I won't mind."

"Well...sure...w-what do you want to ask me?"

Kagura looked around, checking to see if any others were within earshot of their conversation before turning back to her. "Umm…it's a weird question, but…do you think I'm kind of...different?"

Confusion set in on her. "I'm…not sure what you mean."

"I mean...I mean, like from the other girls, how they usually act, and stuff...like, I'm not into the same things and whatever." She began to scratch the back of her head, looking a bit self-conscious now. "Like...I know I'm kind of a tomboy..."

Minamo couldn't help but chuckle. It was true that her student wasn't exactly the most 'feminine' girl around, Kagura never having shown any real preference to what most other girls her age were usually into, but she failed to see why being the athletic jock that she was would be of any concern to her at all. She had never seemed to care about her image before, let alone even be aware of such a trifling thing, and Minamo couldn't fathom as to how it played into the confidence issue that she had originally come to her about. "So? What does that matter? You're not different, you're just 'Kagura', that's all. And I mean..." She grinned, showing her teeth as she stuck out a thumb towards herself. "You're in good company, right? Don't you think we have a cool style going?" She winked.

Her words and actions had the desired effect, Kagura's face lighting up in awe at the praise. "Y-yeah...we do..."

"Ok! So, then, why are you asking me about that?"

Kagura hesitated with her response, looking as if she were debating something with herself again. "It's just...I like who I am, but..."

"But?"

"...but, some other people don't...and they think, that it's not right for me to do, to act like I am, and to be into sports and stuff, 'cause it's not for gir-"

"Oh come on, kiddo', who told you that nonsense?"

A streak of somberness went across her student's face suddenly, her demeanor changing into that earlier one of denial, as if she didn't want to tell. "Just, some people I know..." She shrugged.

"Your friends?"

"Nah..."

Minamo tilted her head. She was starting to piece together the reason as to why her student's belief about her future had become a bit brittle, but it was still hard to imagine how someone could accomplish such a feat against this particularly spirited and hearty girl. If anything, Minamo would have put money down on Kagura getting into a fist fight with anyone who ever spewed such accusations at her, instead of giving into them and sulking as she seemed to be doing now. "Well...it doesn't matter who it is. It's nonsense regardless of who said it."

"I know...but, this is different, coach."

"Why?"

Kagura laughed lightly, a touch of cynicism running through it. "Because...it's my folks who told me that."

"...what?"

The girl sighed, looking up at her sensei to go on with her explanation, but stopped as shock overtook her. "Um...coach?"

"Yeah?"

"Are...you ok? You look really angry all of a sudden."

Minamo stared at her blankly before she shook her head a few times, clearing it out. "Sorry, it's nothing. Um...so, your folks, are telling you that? Why would they do that?"

Her student looked at her curiously for a few moments before addressing the question. "It's...a long story. We kinda' had a little argument last night..."

"About what?"

"Me, I guess."

Although the girl still didn't look to be in the greatest of spirits at the moment, there was this sense of relief that Minamo was picking up from her now, Kagura probably finding some joy from being able to finally discuss a personal issue of hers so freely. It was quite a turn around from how she appeared when they had first started talking, Kagura now wanting to wholeheartedly convey her tale to her sensei, of whom was more than willing to listen for as long as her pupil needed her.

Minamo gave her a reassuring smile. "Kiddo'...maybe you should start at the beginning for me, ok?"

* * *

A few students wandered by as Minamo and Kagura continued to stroll down one of the school's courtyard paths, waving at their sensei as they passed her and who in turn repaid their gesture with a smile and greeting.

Kagura, though, simply watched them as they left, resuming where she was in her story before they had come into the vicinity. "...yeah...and, that's kind of why they said that to me, and why they don't want me to go to a sports college or anything, 'cause they said it's not right for a girl and crap."

Minamo rotated her neck a few times, stretching it out. She had been quietly listening to her student for the last few minutes or so, just walking along leisurely as Kagura relayed all the details of her problem. "Because they don't think that's a good goal for you?"

"Yeah...they just want me to be 'normal' or whatever, and then just get married and then do nothing." She grunted. "They've always been kinda' telling me stuff like that, but, I've never seen myself doing anything like that..."

A frown came onto Minamo's face as she felt the disappointment in her student's voice. As it had turned out, her initial assumption as to what had weakened the girl's athletic confidence had been spot on. Some other people that her student knew were indeed causing her some trouble, but _who_ they actually were had greatly surprised Minamo. Unfortunately for Kagura, the assailants were of a type that would be difficult to properly deal with, since they were comprised of the two people that the young teenager felt closest to out of anyone else in the entire world: her parents.

From what Minamo now knew of them, her student's mother and father seemed to be of a much more traditional mold than their daughter, never having really become quite comfortable with the rough and tough sportswoman that she had turned out to be. The way that she dressed, acted, her hobbies, none of that had ever really set well with them, and so they had gradually tried to change the girl into someone that was a bit more 'feminine' as she had grown up, of whom they felt would put forth a more respectable face for their family.

Kagura, of course, had always resisted. All she wanted to do was partake in anything _but_ what she considered 'girly', and, while she had assured Minamo that they were still a close, loving family, that friction between what she and her parents wanted for her life had become impossible to ignore.

Their continuing disagreement, then, had finally erupted into an argument between them all at their home last night, when Kagura had brought up the topic of what she wanted to do after school. Her wish was to attend a sports college while advancing a possible swimming career at the same time, her long-term dream being that of displaying her skills on the world stage someday, or, if that didn't work out, simply involve herself in some sort of sports-related career still. Her parents, though, didn't like the idea of her going into any sort of athletic field. They both felt that it wasn't an appropriate path for a young lady to take, predicting that it would all be a waste of her time in any case, given how rare it was for someone to become a top-notch competitor. Instead, they wanted her to clean up her 'boyish' ways, take a more traditional route through college, and then find someone to start a family with so that she didn't have to 'worry' about any full-time career.

Naturally, their daughter didn't agree with them at all, and, after having some harsh words with them, had found herself somewhat doubting her future course of action after realizing that the people she loved the most weren't fully approving of who she was or what she wanted to do. If they didn't believe in her dreams, then why should she?

Minamo shook her head in frustration as she digested everything that Kagura had told her, now understanding why the girl had originally come seeking her approval for what she wanted to do in life. All that her student wanted was some praise on her abilities from someone that she greatly respected, to help restore her self-belief since it had been comprised by the people who _should_ have been encouraging it.

_This isn't right at all, to have someone with so much talent be shot down by her own family..._

She sighed. "Well, Kagura…I hope, first off, that you don't think bad of them, because, even though they _are _wrong about all of this, you still always have to be the adult in these sorts of situations. Just realize that your parents do want you to succeed in life, but sometimes, _how_ they want it to be done can just be different from your own plans..."

"Yeah, I know." Her student vented out some stress with a groan. "It's just...stupid. I mean, I really love my folks, coach, but, why do they have to try and control me like that? Why can't they just like what I do and be happy with it…?"

Minamo shrugged. "I'm sorry, Kagura, but, that's just how some parents can be. All that I can really tell you is that you should keep on going with what you want to do, and who you want to be. I'm not telling you to be disrespectful to them or anything, but, it is _your _life in the end, not theirs."

Her student nodded solemnly. "Yeah, I know, I just...I think they're wrong, but, I still don't like making them upset. Like, after yesterday, I don't know what to do when I get home." She blew out a breath, clearing some stray hairs that had crossed in front of her face. "I don't wanna' argue again, and, still, it sucks, it really sucks, to hear them say that they don't think I can do what I wanna' do..."

The girl looked as if she were about to tear up a bit, so Minamo placed both of her hands on Kagura's shoulders, shaking her a little as she smiled to her. "Hey, hey, don't worry, don't worry. You know, I think that's very admirable of you, that you don't like making them upset, even if they're giving you a hard time. That says a lot about you, you know? Come on, come on, don't cry, you're a big kid..."

Kagura took in a few deep breaths, calming herself enough to maintain her composure. "Yeah...sorry..."

"Don't worry, kiddo'." She waited a few moments until her student was fully together again. "But, yeah, I know it's tough to be at home when you and your family have some problems. And, well, the only thing you can really do, Kagura, is to be an adult like I said, and sit down with them and talk, try to get things sorted out. Maybe you guys just haven't spoken to each other properly about all of this, and that's what led up to your fight yesterday?"

"Maybe…probably." She shrugged sadly. "I guess, I can try to talk to them, and work things out. But…what if they don't care still? Like, if every day when I go home it's always gonna' be like this?"

Minamo considered her student's words, not entirely sure on how to answer her question. She did feel that some improved communication might be the best solution for all of them, but, given how Kagura wasn't the most adept at handling serious conversations, it might not go over that well in the end. There wasn't any guarantee that things would work out even if she _did_ have a talent for it anyways, Minamo really having no idea on the personality or true stubbornness of her parents, but she couldn't bring herself to tell Kagura that possibility. Her student was looking so out of sorts now, displaying how vulnerable she was despite her strong exterior, and so Minamo wanted nothing more than to figure out the perfect solution for her, to somehow fix everything for this talented young girl that she adored so much.

_I won't abandon you, kiddo'. Not after you've told me all of this..._

"Hey, Kagura, listen to me for a sec'."

"Y-yeah?"

"Your folks…will they be home this weekend?"

Kagura looked at her with some puzzlement. "Um, yeah, they should be. Why do you want to know?"

"Well…" She hesitated, not entirely sure on the plan that she was concocting in her head at the moment, but steeled herself and continued on anyways. "I was thinking…I usually have a parent-teacher conference with everyone's family around January, but, there's no reason why I couldn't go and visit your folks sooner than that. And, if I do, we could all sit down and talk about you and your future, and see if we can work something out. Would that be ok with you?"

Amazement filled the girl's face. "You…you'd come, and do that for me…?" She shook her head. "But, it's not something you should bother with, coach. It's my probl-"

"It's _our_ problem."

She patted her student's shoulders to relax her, Kagura shrinking back a bit since Minamo's words had been so full of assertiveness. "Kagura, let's do this as a team, ok? I hate seeing you look down kiddo', so I'm going to do everything I can to help you out. Here..." She took her hands off the girl as she reached into one of her pant's pockets, pulling out a small notepad and pencil that she always kept on herself, and then scribbled something down on the top sheet before tearing it off and handing it to her. "Keep this."

Her student took it from her, reading it quickly. "Is...is this your phone number?"

"My cell phone, yes."

"But..." Her widening eyes focused back to her sensei. "W-why are you giving me this?"

Minamo chuckled. It wasn't very usual for a teacher to give out such personal contact information to their students, so she wasn't surprised that Kagura was displaying some wonder at the act. "Well, when I get some time tonight, I'm going to give your parents a call and set up a meeting with them, this Saturday afternoon if possible. In the mean time, however, I do want you to try and talk to them a bit yourself. You know, try and make up with them a little." She pointed towards the note. "And if you have a hard time with it, or, really, if you ever feel like you need someone to talk to anytime, I want you to give me a call, ok? And don't give my number out to anyone else, because this is just for you, alright?"

She had continued to talk with an authoritative tone, stern enough so that her student would simply listen to what she wanted of her without putting up any resistance. It appeared as to have worked since Kagura was just nodding slowly, looking back and forth between the note and her sensei with sheer bewilderment. "Coach...why...why are you doing all this for me..?"

Minamo put a hand behind her head, messing with her own hair a bit. "Well...let's just say..." She smiled sheepishly. "That you kind of remind me of when I was a high school kid, so, I guess that has something to do with it, ya' know, since I think we're a little alike. Us jocks, right?" She laughed.

"M-me...? I was like you?"

She nodded. "Yes, in some ways...but, to be honest, I think you were a much better athlete than I was at your age."

"W-what? No way!" Her student looked down, the flattery embarrassing her. "I've seen you swim and play other stuff...you're really, really good at everything, coach."

"Oh, don't be so modest. However..." She chuckled. "I do remember my grades outside of P.E. being a lot better. So, if you really want to make it to that sports college, try and pick those up, ok?"

The girl laughed as well, looking up shyly at her. "Y-yeah, I will, coach."

Her student had some of her regular vitality back now, so Minamo continued to talk with her about lighter topics of conversation for the next few minutes, trying to help ease the girl's mind so that she could at least forget about her family troubles for the rest of the class day. When the banter eventually began to thin out though, she then made note of the time on her watch, seeing that lunch just about over now, and then said a farewell to her young student as the girl started to head back to her homeroom.

"I'll see you later today, coach. Thanks...thanks again so much, for everything." She smiled widely. "You're...you're like, the coolest person I know."

Minamo laughed. "No problem, kiddo'. I'll see you in class."

Her student went off then, Minamo standing alone as she watched her leave. After the girl was out of sight she looked up to the sky, gazing at the shifting blue hue of it.

_Parents, huh?_

She took in a deep breath.

_Is it really right for me, to tell her to try and talk to them? For me to go talk to them?_

A sudden jolt of anger shot through her, the same cold rage that had touched her for just a second when Kagura had told her who exactly it was that had broken her confidence.

_When even I..._

She exhaled, letting the stress out, and then shook her head as she rid herself of some unwanted thoughts that had snuck their way into it.

_Just do your best_. _Just like always._

* * *

The hallways of the school were mostly empty now, the majority of kids and teachers having already left for the day after finishing up their after-school clubs and activities. Evening was just beginning to break in, the sun slowly setting down as it cast an orange light through the windows, the rays flickering across Minamo as she made her way up to the faculty work room. It had been quite a long day for her, keeping busy throughout it all while at the same time bearing Kagura's family troubles on the forefront of her mind. The concern she had for the girl herself was still fresh, but Minamo had mostly been thinking about how she would deal with her parents once she met them on the weekend, what her game plan would be when trying to coax them into easing up on the pressure that they were placing upon their daughter.

_You'll think of how to do it well, don't worry. Just take it one step at a time._

Minamo would give them a call later tonight, after she had made her way over to her friend's house. Yukari was still expecting her, the woman probably eagerly awaiting whatever mix of snacks and drinks that her friend would be bringing, all of which would continue to help fuel the gaming binge that she was undoubtedly still on.

Minamo smiled, looking forward to the company of the woman after such a tough day. Before that, though, she'd first have to gather her things from the office, head to the store, pick up a _few _of the items that Yukari wanted, and then finally make her way over to her house. All of that would take a little bit of time, so Minamo planned to at least give her friend a call before she left work, so that she could inform her that she was indeed still coming. She had wanted to contact her earlier but hadn't gotten much of a chance to visit the work room today to grab her phone, as far too many people had needed her attention today whenever she had gotten even a few free minutes to herself.

After another flight of stairs Minamo finally reached the office, entering quickly and making a beeline straight to her desk so that she could get her things and leave as fast as possible. Upon reaching it, however, she noticed that something was off.

_Wait a minute. Where is it?_

She scoured the desk, pushing aside some of her class binders as she searched around for her cell phone. She remembered last using it at lunch time when she had been talking to Yukari, and had sworn that she had just left it sitting on top of her desk afterward, but it was no where in sight at all.

"Ah, Kurosawa-sensei. There you are."

Minamo jumped up in surprise, not aware that anyone else was in the room with her. She turned around quickly, nodding her head in greeting once she saw who had spoken to her. "Oh, sir! I'm sorry...I didn't see you there."

A refined old man, his thick glasses only outdone by his thick belly, smiled at her warmly as he sat in one of the desks at the front of the work room.

He stood up slowly, making his way over to Minamo. "Don't worry, don't worry. I can tell that you're in a hurry to go home, yes?"

She smiled politely. The fellow before her was the vice-principal of the school, a kind but stern individual who had been on the staff since Minamo herself had attended the campus as a young girl many years ago. "Y-yes, Kyoto-sensei. I was just getting my things quick. Umm...did you need me for something?"

"Oh, well, nothing in particular, sensei. I do have something of yours, though."

He turned around, Minamo following him as he wandered to the back of the room, going though a thick pile of books on one of the counters. "I put this in your drawer first since it was going off all day, but it kept rattling around in there and making noise. So, I figured this was the best way to muffle it."

Relief went through Minamo as she saw what he had pulled out from underneath all the books, taking her cell phone graciously as he handed it to her. "T-thank you, sir! I thought I had left this outside of the classroom..."

The man chuckled. "No, no, it was here all day. As I said, it was going off quite a lot, and I didn't see you throughout the day, so I had to take care of matters myself. I'm not sure how to turn these things off, so I suppose my method was a bit impractical, yes?"

"Oh...oh, no, not at all, sir. I'm sorry I didn't put it away properly."

"No worries, Kurosawa-sensei. Just make sure that it doesn't happen again, hmm? I'm fine with phones in the office, but there is a limit. It really was going off all day." He lowered his stare a bit, his eyes hovering over the brim of his glasses as the tone of his voice became serious. "And it was very, very annoying for everyone."

Minamo bowed apologetically. "Sorry, sorry, Kyoto-sensei. I-I guess I forgot to set it on 'silent'."

"No worries, no worries. You're usually very good about how you conduct yourself, so I suppose one little incident is meaningless in the grand scheme of things." He nodded. "In any case, be more considerate next time. I won't keep you any longer, so have a good evening."

She bowed again. "Thank you, sir. Y-you too!"

The vice-principal smiled at her gingerly, Minamo doing the same for him. As soon as she turned around, however, a wicked scowl broke across her face.

_Yukari!_

She gnashed her teeth together as she went back to her desk, collecting her belongings as she prepared to leave. There was no doubt in her mind as to who had been calling her incessantly all day, as she knew of only one person who would do such a childish, immature thing. Her friend had probably become quite angry when she had hung up on her at lunch, and more than likely had spent a good chunk of her day trying to get her back on the phone, so that she could let Minamo know as to how her insolence made her feel.

She took a few breaths, trying her best to keep her cool as she checked the log of her phone. Her guess as to who had been trying to contact her was correct, as Yukari's number listed itself well over seventy times since she had last spoken to her.

_Tanizaki, when I get over there..!_

Her grip on the phone tightened as she bristled with sheer irritation at what her friend had done. Minamo didn't at all enjoy being cautioned by upper faculty members, an event that was all but foreign to someone as responsible and diligent as her. She always went great lengths to keep a solid reputation amongst her coworkers, so it was humiliating to learn that she had become a nuisance to them all by just simply leaving her phone out on her desk for so long, of which Yukari had then bombarded.

And as Minamo scrolled further down through the phone's log, her annoyance with her friend continued to grow. The first few occurrences in it were just regular calls from Yukari, but after those had come a gigantic wave of text messages, each one just containing a single word in order to vex Minamo in the best way possible.

She shook her head sadly, removing each message after gleaning over them quickly.

_'I – KNOW – UR – THERE – U – CANT – HIDE – FROM - ME'_

It went on like that with the same amount of eloquence, her friend making absolutely sure that Minamo understood the full travesty of her crime. _Seriously, Yukari, grow the hell up._

She continued to clear the phone's inbox while picking up her things from her desk, swinging her bag over her shoulder and stuffing a few notebooks under her arm. A quick cursory glance revealed that she had everything that she needed, so without any further delay Minamo left the work room, making her way back down the hallways and out of the building, the school parking lot her destination.

There was a slight wind sailing about outside now, tossing Minamo's long ear-bangs across her face as she strode across the campus. In a few minutes she was at the lot, her attention still glued to her phone, and took a quick look up from it to spot her little blue car awaiting patiently at the far end.

Her free hand reached into her pocket as she walked towards it, her fingers fumbling around blindly as she dug out her keys, and was just about to hit the button to unlock her vehicle when her entire body suddenly froze stiff.

_What...?_

Minamo stared at her phone blankly, no emotion showing on her face at all.

_What...what the heck does she want?_

On the bright display, sandwiched quietly in between everything that Yukari had sent her today, was a single message that wasn't from her friend. Minamo had almost removed it by habit, her thumb quite used to the motion now, but had just barely caught herself when she realized that the number it had been sent from was different from that of Yukari's.

In retrospect, however, Minamo wished that she _had _accidentally deleted it, so that she could have missed out on seeing who the sender of it was, so that she could have avoided the quiet rage that was now building up inside of her.

_Leave me alone._

She gripped her car keys tightly as that anger began to make its way throughout her body. What Minamo was feeling at the moment was an instinctive response to a certain person, someone that she had known all of her life and had a great deal of mixed feelings for. There was love in her heart for this individual, an admiration that she had always held for her, but as Minamo had grown up it had all slowly become overshadowed by this deep sense of resentment, a stinging bitterness that pricked her whenever she felt this person intrude upon her life, when she tried to cut into the sanctity of her adulthood.

_Calm down. She only contacts you once in awhile. It's probably nothing, so don't worry._

Minamo shut her eyes, quelling the anger as she told herself that she shouldn't let such negative emotions take control of her.

But in the darkness of those closed lids, the image of the girl that she had been talking to at lunch today instantly lit up before her, the sad tale that she had told now beginning to echo around in Minamo's mind, every reverberation awakening a host of sleeping memories that had been resting deep inside of her.

And as they arose from their long slumber they bellowed out in pain, their cries reigniting her rage once more.

Her eyes opened, taking in the message one more time. They were such simple words, from a person who should have been as equally simple to deal with, but to Minamo, they were both anything but that.

On the screen, written briefly, she read:

'_Please call me tonight. -Mom'_


	8. Part I Chapter 8

**Author's Notes**

Heya! :D

Chapter pic in my FF profile. Also, I should have the next chapter up in a week or two :)

Comments, grammar checks, and critiques are welcome :)

~Mendhi

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything related to Azumanga Daioh. Don't sue me bro!

* * *

Part I

Chapter 8

_*pant*_

_*pant*_

_*pant*_

She rounded the corner with practiced ease, her feet moving gracefully as she jogged up the sidewalk.

_*pant*_

_*pant*_

_*pant*_

Her view of what lay ahead was obscured, the sun long gone at this late hour, and the only visible light in the vicinity was provided by the occasional street lamp. As she passed under them her figure would become illuminated for a brief moment and then suddenly vanish, the darkness of the night enshrouding her like a cloak once more.

_*pant*_

_*pant*_

_*pant*_

She took a quick glance at her watch, its blue-lit display informing her that she had been running for about fifteen minutes so far, the time just having drifted past eleven. It didn't matter to her, however, that she was out exercising at such odd hours, a moonlit run something that she often did whenever she found herself unable to get any sleep. Once in awhile the difficulties of the day would refuse to leave her mind when bedtime came around, causing itself to become quite distracted as it attempted to solve all her worries instead of just seeking the rest that it needed. The runs, then, helped those anxieties to digest properly, the remedy simply consisting of a mix of clean air and a good sweat.

Tonight, however, she was having doubts on whether the jog would alleviate the issues that presently hounded her. The thoughts that had kept her awake on this occasion were much more troublesome to deal with than the usual, all of them pushing her to the point at where she had become completely obsessed with their irritating details. She couldn't just simply set them aside in order to be handled for another time, because the turmoil that they were creating in her had proven far too impossible to just simply ignore, to go to bed with.

And, while the troubles that she struggled with were quite intricate in their nature, made complex by the layers of history and emotion that were woven into them, they had been brought back into her life by the most simplest of things, by just a brief, ordinary phone call that she had made under an hour ago.

_*pant*_

_*pant*_

_*pant*_

* * *

_"Hello, dear!"_

_"...hi, mom. I was just returning your text. Sorry to call so late."_

_"Oh, don't worry, dear, don't worry. I was working late anyways, but I'm leaving at the moment, so this is good timing."_

_"Oh...great! I just got home myself."_

_"Hmm, really? What were you up to?"_

_"Oh, um, nothing much…I was just some running errands."_

_"I see...well, that's fine. Anyways, dear, it's been quite awhile since I've heard your voice."_

_"Y-yeah...sorry, I'm just, you know, busy these days..."_

_"I know how it is, dear. Things are so hectic nowadays for me, too! It's just been client after client lately."_

_"...but I know you like that, mom. You've always needed to have something to work on."_

_"Yes, I know. It's funny, sometimes. I'll complain to your father about having no free time, but really, I think I'd go insane if I did have some."_

_"Yeah, that's true...um, so how is dad?"_

_"He's doing fine, dear. Speaking of which, we both wanted to know what you'd be up to next weekend."_

_"Next weekend?"_

_"For your birthday, of course. That's why I texted you."_

_"Oh...oh! You just wanted...to see what I'm doing for my birthday? That's all?"_

_"Well, of course, dear. Your father and I want to visit you then, but we don't want to interfere with your own plans."_

_"…right, right! Yeah, um, you know, I'm just doing the usual. Some of my friends will take me out and all that."_

_"That sounds like it'll be fun, dear. So, on what day were you all planning to do that?"_

_"Um...next Saturday, probably. Everyone's busy on Friday, so they wanted to do it then instead."_

_"Ok. Well, how about we visit you next Sunday, then? We'll take you downtown for some really fine dining."_

_"Oh, yeah, sure, mom, but…let's not go anywhere too fancy this time. You guys always spend too much on me for one night."_

_"Come, now, don't sound so frugal! You only get one birthday a year, so we should always make the most of it."_

_"Ok, ok..."_

_"Sound a little more encouraged about this, dear."_

_"I...I am!"_

_"Is something wrong?"_

_"N-no...I'm just...a little tired. It's been a long day..."_

_"Ah, ok. Well, in any case, I'll make reservations for us then. Maybe around six on Sunday? Does that work?"_

_"Sure, mom."_

_"Good, good. So, would you like anything specific this year?"_

_"Huh?"_

_"A gift, dear."_

_"...oh, right. Um...you know, mom, what you and dad get for me is always fine..."_

_"Ah, you never want anything in particular, dear. How fun is that?"_

_"Well…I just don't...really need anything I guess. I don't know. I guess…I could use a new phone or something, since mine's a little old..."_

_"That's it? Come on, you're always so practical with these things."_

_"Y-yeah…I just don't need much, you know."_

_"Hmm...well, that's fine, dear. Do you have a specific one in mind?"_

_"Ah...I'd have to look. I don't know much about phones and stuff..."_

_"Alright. Well, you just pick whatever you like, ok? I'll get it for you, don't worry."_

_"Ok, I'll do that...um...was that all you needed, mom?"_

_"Needed?"_

_"To talk to me about, I mean."_

_"Ah, yes. I just wanted to iron things out for next week."_

_"Ok...um, if that's set, then, I should probably go to bed since-"_

_"Well, hold on, dear."_

_"...yeah?"_

_"Since I have you on the phone anyways, how about we catch up on things a bit?"_

_"…c-catch up?"_

_"Yes. You never really keep me updated on how your life is going anymore."_

_"...well, um…things are…you know, the same and all…so, I don't want to bother you, because I know you're always really bus-"_

_"Oh, nonsense. I always want to know how you're doing, dear. I mean, it doesn't have to be over the phone. Just a little email now and then would be fine."_

_"…y-yeah, ok…"_

_"…well, so, how are things going then, dear?"_

_"G-good…we can talk next Sunday, can't we?"_

_"Well, yes, but, I just want to talk to you alone, dear. We never really have any one-on-one talk anymore."_

_"Yeah..."_

_"...so oblige me a little, dear. How is your swim team doing?"_

_"Oh, um, they're doing great. The practices are winding down, since we only have an outdoor pool."_

_"So you'll have some free time soon, then?"_

_"Well…no…we still meet occasionally just to exercise, and I also help manage other clubs."_

_"Ah, I see. How about your classes, then? How are those going?"_

_"Oh…same old thing, you know. Kids being kids, and all that, and I deal with them…"_

_"I know, I know. They can be such a handful. They really aren't as behaved as they were back when I was a schoolgirl."_

_"Yeah…but…I still love them. They're my students."_

_"That's so good to hear, dear. If you didn't care for them, then I would imagine your job being much more difficult."_

_"I know…um, mom, it's kind of late and I have to be up early..."_

_"Oh, come now. When's the last time we chatted? I thought you'd be happy to talk to your mother."_

_"I am! I am...it's just, I'm pretty tired..."_

_"Just a few minutes, dear. I was looking forward to your call all day, you know."_

_"...yeah, ok."_

_"So, what else is new? What's keeping you busy outside of work?"_

_"Ah…well…I still help run an intramural league for the town…"_

_"Is it going well?"_

_"Really well…lots of participants, and we always have a good time. It's a hassle to manage sometimes, but, I get some money out of it, and exercise. And I guess I just like the work…it's a lot of hours so I guess it's sort of a second job, I guess."_

_"Excellent, dear! You know, that makes me very happy to hear!"_

_"R-really...?"_

_"Yes, of course. I mean, that's how I raised you to be, dear. To always be productive. That's exactly the kind of attitude that I expect to hear from my daughter, you know? To commit your time to the city like that."_

_"Y-yeah...I...well..."_

_"What's wrong, dear?"_

_"Nothing! I'm, just...um, really glad to hear you say that..."_

_"Hmm?"_

_"That you're happy...with what I'm doing..."_

_"You've always been a good worker, dear. You don't need my approval for that."_

_"I know, but, still, I'm just not used to...hearing that...from you..."_

_"What, dear? If you're saying something, it's coming through very quietly."_

_"Ah...nothing..."_

_"...I see. Well, what else is there..."_

_"Um..."_

_"...so, have you been going out with anyone recently?"_

_"...argh."_

_"What? You're mumbling again, dear."_

_"Ah...I didn't say anything...um, I couldn't hear you, actually..."_

_"Ok. Well, maybe my phone is acting up...anyways, I just asked if you've been dating at all lately."_

_"D-dating?"_

_"Yes. Dating."_

_"Ah..."_

_"...I just want to know how your relationships are going, dear. I remember you were seeing someone last year…but that didn't work out, did it?"_

_"No…"_

_"Right, right. Well, how about lately then?"_

_"Ah...well…"_

_"...yes?"_

_"Um...well, I've been pretty busy for a while now. I haven't really had much time to meet anyone new…"_

_"Hmm, I suppose you do have a lot on your plate. But, still, it's a bit of a shame to hear that, dear."_

_"Why is that?"_

_"Well, you know, dear…"_

_"…w-what?"_

_"Well, I was just thinking, that...since the last time that I talked to you about one of your boyfriends, well, I'd have imagined that you'd have put in more of an effort into finding someone again. That was quite awhile ago, I think."_

_"…please, mom, don't bring this up now."_

_"Dear, I haven't brought it up in almost a year, because I decided to give you some space for a bit to see how you'd fare."_

_"…but...it's-"_

_"And, honestly, dear, how can I even bring up this topic when you keep avoiding contact with me?"_

_"W-what? No...that's no-"_

_"Look, dear. I know you get upset when I ask you about your relationships, but just hear me out. I really want to have a good time with you next week. I really do. But I know this issue has put some distance between us over the last year, so I wanted to discuss it with you tonight before your birthday, so that we can come to terms on some things and have nothing bad between us on Sunday, ok?"_

_"But...discuss what?"_

_"Your future."_

_"..."_

_"At least one of us has to think of it, dear, and since you don't seem to be doing that..."_

_"...please, mom, it really is lat-"_

_"You can go to bed after I'm done, alright?"_

_"..."_

_"See, dear, this is the entire problem."_

_"What problem...?"_

_"Your maturity level."_

_"What?"_

_"Do I really have to explain it? I've been telling you this for the longest time..."_

_"I don't...I don't know what you're talking about."_

_"Come, now. I mean, just look at us here. How often do we ever talk anymore? Why do you always make it such a laborious affair whenever I want to ask you how your life is going?"_

_"B-because...you..."_

_"Because what?"_

_"..."_

_"Because you aren't adult enough to deal with the reality of your problems? That's what I feel."_

_"I...I am an adul-"_

_"Do you think you are? Then why did you lie to me?"_

_"W-what?"_

_"Dear, you've always been very easy to see through for me. You weren't really running errands tonight, were you?"_

_"I-"_

_"Were you out drinking again?"_

_"N-no!"_

_"At one of your friend's places, then."_

_"What..what doe-"_

_"Are you still hanging around with Tanizaki? You were probably at her house."_

_"I...that's not-"_

_"Am I right or wrong?"_

_"You...y..."_

_"I'm right."_

_"..."_

_"And here we are again. This is the problem, Minamo. You're still just a child, hanging around with your childish friends while you retain your childish antics. You're just going to keep wasting your life with people like her and never put forth a serious commitment to start a family and have a real future."_

_"..."_

_"I mean...another birthday goes by, and then another, and you still act like you're in high school. I think all the men will start to pass you up soon, don't you agree?"_

_"N-no!"_

_"You don't agree?"_

_"I…I just...w-why do you always, make such a big deal about this...?"_

_"Why? You're my daughter, and I want to see you succeed in life."_

_"But...I am succeeding! Just because...because I'm not married ye-"_

_"Well, let's put some things into perspective, dear, so you can understand where I'm coming from. I think most of your friends from school are married now, aren't they?"_

_"I don't know...maybe..."_

_"Alright. Now, seeing as that you're my own daughter, it baffles me as to why you can't accomplish something that they've all done years ago. I mean, how many times have you tried so far? How many relationships have you gone through with nothing to show for it?"_

_"...I'm...I'm just not in a rush. I just want to find the right person, that's all..."_

_"You've been saying that since college, dear."_

_"That...that's-"_

_"I'm going to be a little frank with you, dear. I've been letting you do what you want for a year now, and, well, it's just shown me that you still haven't really changed that much since you were in school."_

_"Wh-"_

_"You've always been so finicky about things. Isn't that usually the reason why all those boys keep breaking things off with you? Because you're so indecisive about them?"_

_"Well, no, it's, well-"_

_"Don't you think that it's time that you finally grow up, dear, and drop these juvenile habits of yours? How do you expect to get married when you're still not a real adult?"_

_"That's...not true..."_

_"Minamo...seriously, look at yourself. You're still always so indecisive about everything. You still always let the most trifling things get to you. You're still so stubborn when it comes to admitting that you're failing at something, and on and on and on. Does all of that really sound like the behavior of an adult?"_

_"...n-no."_

_"Exactly. And that's what you aren't married yet, dear. Because at the end of the day you're still an immature little girl."_

_"..."_

_"So, listen, Minamo. Tonight, I really want to have this talk with you again, for the last time hopefully, because it needs to be done. I'm not going to let you run away from this for another year while you keep on wasting your time, and I don't want to have this in the air between us when we meet next week."_

_"...you don't...you don't know wha-"_

_"Just listen to me, dear."_

_"N-no, you listen to m-"_

_"Listen, dear."_

_"Y-"_

_"Be quiet."_

_"..."_

_"We're going to have this talk whether you like it or not. Now, listen. You know that I know you better than anyone else in the world, don't you, Minamo?"_

_"..."_

_"Right?"_

_"...y-yes."_

_"So, what did I always tell you when you were young, then? Remember, I told you that you're always much too indecisive about things, and that really hasn't changed."_

_"..."_

_"You just need to get some courage and move on with your life, dear. It's like you don't want to leave your crib. I mean, all you need to do is just find someone to marry finally and just get it over with, or do you look forward to being an old maid?"_

_"N-no..."_

_"Then if that's so, stop wasting your time, stop lying to me about things, and stop acting like such a juvenile when I confront you about all this. I push this on you because I want to see you finally get a husband and put this chapter of your life behind you, but that's not going to happen unless you stop being a child and stop hesitating about leaving your schoolgirl days behind."_

_"..."_

_"I mean, how many times have I had this conversation with you now, Minamo? And remember what you always keep telling me? To leave you alone about all this?_

_"Y-yes..."_

_"And I did! And since then, has anything really changed?"_

_"...no."_

_"Exactly. It's been a year, and, all you've done is disappoint the both of us again. It's getting embarrassing for our family now, Minamo. Some of your relatives even think that I've raised you incorrectly since you don't have a husband yet. I mean, dear, you're going to be twenty eight next week. How much longer are you going to be single?"_

_"I...I don't know…_

_"I've really tried, Minamo. I've done my best to try and make you someone respectable. And I've been patient with you. I really have. I know you hate talking about this subject, but really, avoiding it like you always do just shows your age level still. It really is childish."_

_"I…I know. I'm sorry…"_

_"Yes, yes, I know, dear. Listen, you know I love you, alright? I'm just being honest with you. If you really believe that you've grown up, then you understand that there's no need to sugarcoat the truth, yes?"_

_"Y-yes, mom..."_

_"Good. Anyways, dear, we both know your problem. You have to grow up still. That's the only way you're going to be able to get married finally. You need to stop playing around and just accept the fact that you need to move on from the schoolgirl mentality that you still seem to have. I know change can be frightening, but it has to happen. Do you agree with me?"_

_"Yes, mom..."_

_"Ok. I'm glad that you understand that you still have to mature a bit in some areas of your life, but it also makes it clear to me that you still do need my help for these sort of matters."_

_"..."_

_"So, I'm going to help you out with this too, alright? You're still a bit incapable of managing a relationship properly, so let me see if I can set something up for you."_

_"..."_

_"I've been thinking about this for a while, actually. What I'll do is ask some of my acquaintances if they've got any boys who are looking to settle down. Maybe in a few weeks I can arrange something between one of them and you. A lot of them are quite well off, actually, so this might be the best course of action for you."_

_"..."_

_"So let's get this done for you, ok, Minamo?"_

_"...ok, mom."_

_"You know that I'm always here to help you out, right?"_

_"Y-yeah, mom, I know."_

_"Alright. I'm sorry to bring this up tonight, dear, but it's really been bothering me for such a long time. And I really do want to have a good time with you next week, Minamo, so I wanted to get all of this out of the way before that. Just promise me that you'll give the arrangements I set up some very serious consideration, ok? "_

_"I just...want to have a good time with you, too..."_

_"I know, dear. Don't worry. I promise I won't mention this for awhile again, ok? But will you consider what I've told you seriously?"_

_"I will, mom..."_

_"Good. Alright, then, I'll let you go now, dear. Remember, next Sunday at noon, so be ready! Ok?"_

_"Ok, mom."_

_"Alright, then, dear. I'm going to get in my car now. Good night."_

_"Bye m-mom...night..."_

_*click*_


	9. Part I Chapter 9

**Author's Notes**

Hi :)

Sorry it's a little later than promised. Chapter pic in my FF profile.

Comments, grammar checks, and critiques are welcome :)

Happy Halloween!

~Mendhi

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything related to Azumanga Daioh. Don't sue me bro!

* * *

Part I

Chapter 9

_…_

_I always want to be nice to everyone._

_That's the only way I know how to be._

_I want to be happy, always be happy, so that I can help others feel the same as well, because I love them._

…

_What? I don't understand. If they hurt me?_

_I don't…I don't know…_

_No, I wouldn't do that…_

_I never would. That's just not me._

…

_That's just not me at all…_

* * *

_"I'm sorry to hear that, Kurosawa-sensei. I hope you'll feel better tomorrow."_

"Thank you…yes, I should be ok then. I just need some rest today."

_"That's fine. In any case, I'll find someone for your classes, so don't worry."_

"Thanks…"

_"You're welcome. Well, get some rest then, alright?"_

"Sure. I'll talk to you later, then."

_"Of course. Goodbye!"_

"Bye-bye."

Minamo set the phone back on the receiver, taking a gaze out of her balcony window as the morning sun began to pour light into her apartment.

_What am I doing…?_

With a groan she wobbled over to her couch, her body moving sluggishly like a wounded animal, and then collapsed upon it.

On any other given day at this hour, Minamo would have been full of vitality, normally getting primed and ready for another day of work. This morning, however, none of that usual energy was found within her. The daily routine that she was so used to had been left completely untouched, Minamo still wearing her night wear as she tossed around restlessly on the couch, trying to find a comfortable position to relax her fatigued body with. Sleep had abandoned her for the most part since yesterday, Minamo at best being able to get in a few winks here and there, and she was now feeling the effects of its absence. Her eyes were so heavy now, her mind slow and unwieldy, and she knew that she was in no shape to deal with both her students and peers in her present condition, to allow them to witness her in such a haphazard state.

Her decision to avoid all of that, then, was to simply take the entire day off. She had just finished calling the school office to let them know that she would be out, and while there was no issue with that specifically, Minamo rarely ever using her break days, she still felt as if she were doing something that was somehow wrong.

_Look at me, sk__ipping work because of a stupid conversation. How pathetic am I?_

She turned onto her stomach with great effort, placing her face straight down into one of the couch pillows as the words of her mother continued to scratch against the grain of her consciousness.

_'…you're still just a child…'_

A despaired grunt went muffled against the pillow's cloth, barely audible amid the silence of her apartment.

Ever since it had taken place yesterday night, Minamo had tried _so_ hard to forget about the phone call that she had engaged in with her mother, the anger that she had experienced afterward denying her the peace that she required in order to sleep well. It had proven an impossible task to just let it all go however, the words that the woman had spoken to her still ringing loudly in her ears even after all these hours, the pain that they had inflicted still stinging freshly. The late night run that she had taken to try and relax herself with hadn't helped at all, and so Minamo had spent the entire night laying awake in bed, unable to stop the blood that had oozed through the gashes in her pride.

What her mother had done to her, in just the span of a few minutes, was a complete and thorough castigation of her adulthood, the woman patronizing both her maturity and romantic life by informing her of all the faults that she saw in them. In Ms. Kurosawa's eyes, her daughter was just some sort of hapless child that still required her mother's hand to hold on to through life, even for such personal matters as finding a husband, and had eventually closed the conversation with the announcement of how she herself would address Minamo's lack of one. It had all essentially been a blatant attack on her daughter's abilities to manage for herself, and the entire ordeal had left Minamo in a state of turbulence after the call had ended.

_Why do you always do this to me? Why do you always act like I'm not an adult...?_

Her character had been violated, the image of the mature individual that she believed herself to be gutted by her own parent, and it was all simply infuriating. For someone of Minamo's make, her reputation for being known as a person that was refined and in-control of her life was her most prized possession. She had always gone to great lengths in order to cultivate that respectability for herself, to acquire that admiration from others, and so to _still _be treated like a juvenile by her own mother was incredibly irritating. Ms. Kurosawa had always been the one person in her life who had never seen her the way that everyone else did, her relationship with her daughter always stained by some amount of condescension towards her.

Minamo turned on the couch again, setting her stare up towards the ceiling, looking blankly at it as she continued to ruminate over all that had happened. That callous treatment from her mother was something that she had put up with for a good portion of her life, Ms. Kurosawa always finding some crack in her being to expose. It just seemed that no matter whatever Minamo had accomplished in her life, whatever she had gained, none of it had ever seemed to meet the woman's lofty expectations for her. There was always this sense of dissatisfaction that she felt emanating from her, and the biggest cause for that over the last few years had been her inability to get married.

_'..__. it's getting embarrassing for our family now_ _...'_

She grimaced, her rage igniting itself again in protest to those words that had suddenly popped into her head, but it didn't have quite the same potency that it had possessed during the night. It was this hollow sort of resentment now, an empty feeling that was more bark than bite.

_How can you tell me things like that? Don't you ever know…_

She sighed, dejection lacing her breath as the indignation that she had held against her mother finally began to fade away.

_...how hard I try, that I really try, for you?_

The fire that was her anger had dwindled out now, the bitterness that she had experienced all night suddenly vanishing into the air, and all that was left behind in its wake was a despondent set of ashes.

_'...embarrassing...'_

Minamo gritted her teeth, a sadness enveloping her now, and it was a feeling that was as familiar to her as the frustration she felt whenever she dealt with her mother.

For as hard as Ms. Kurosawa could be on her, Minamo had never been able to hold a grudge against the woman for any real length of time. What always happened after her initial bout of anger was the experience that she was now going through, a sensation of guilt that was slowly beginning to drown her, flooding her heart with its waves.

And it was, at the end of everything that she had felt, the real reason as to why she was always so hesitant about contacting her mother, of why she had given into her scathing accusations so meekly without any real defense.

_Who am I kidding? You're always right. You're always right, about everything...because you're...you're...so..._

As she continued to lay about on her couch, the weight of her troubles seemingly pinning her down to it, Minamo began to wonder about who she had actually been upset with the entire night.

* * *

_..._

_What happened?_

_..._

_Why do I look so sad?_

_I'm never…I'm never sad…_

_..._

_No, that's impossible._

_That could never happen. What a stupid thought._

_Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._

_..._

_I'm a stupid girl, to __think that. Even after all she's done for me, I still go and think that..._

* * *

Her eyes opened.

Minamo looked up, quickly orienting herself as she recognized the same old white ceiling of her apartment. She had dozed off upon her couch, just now waking up with a lengthy yawn.

_What time is it...?_

She sat up slowly, taking a glance at her table clock and realizing that she had only been sleeping for about half an hour.

_I think that's the most shuteye I've gotten since yesterday...ugh, I don't think I can do this._

Her hands pushed her off the couch, Minamo getting up and heading into her kitchen in order to make some coffee. Her body clock wasn't very used to sleeping in the day, despite how tired she was, and she knew that trying to get any more rest would probably be a futile endeavor. In the long run, she figured, it was probably a poor idea to do so anyways, since it would more than likely throw off her entire sleeping pattern for the next few days while still leaving her in the tired condition that she was presently in.

After a handful of minutes she came back into her living room, blowing away heat from the mug she held, and then sat down on the carpet in front of her couch as she began to ponder as to what she could do with her day, instead of just sleeping it away. Minamo didn't want to let all of this free time go to waste, so making some productive use of it seemed like the most sensible thing to do.

Her first idea was to just go about getting some errands done, but since most of them required her to venture out to the town, she quickly scratched them off her list of possibilities. She didn't really feel like going into any public places while feeling so lethargic and weary, and so continued to think of what else she could get done instead.

_Well, I did bring some stuff home with me..._

She glanced over towards the other side of the room, looking at the corner in which she had placed her school belongings at. Her bags contained some work that she hadn't been able to finish while on campus, stacks of papers to grade, club plans to finish, and so she figured that she could at least utilize her time by completing all of it. None of that was ever a chore for her to do so in any case, Minamo always genuinely enjoying the feeling of accomplishing things well ahead of schedule, to have the logistics of her classes and job flow smoothly along.

_Yeah, I guess I'll do that. If I keep myself busy, anyways, then I suppose I won't feel too bad for ditching work..._

She was satisfied with that plan, her mood now picking up just a bit as she began to take a few sips from her coffee, its hot, smoky taste refreshing her spirits. It was a relatively recent trend of hers to indulge in the drink more often, never having done so to any significant degree before, and it had now become a welcome staple in her life. Somehow, it just made her feel a bit more sophisticated about herself, as if she were joining in some cultured activity that the rest of the world regularly partook in.

_I think I've got my mix down for this now. It's almost as good as m-_

Minamo sighed, catching herself from becoming obsessed with those thoughts once more. "Stop it, stop it..."

She took a minute to gather herself, calming her mind, and then continued to drink from her mug. _I've got to stop doing that. I've got to stop comparing myself to h_-

_'...my own daughter...'_

That pang of guilt suddenly went through her again, the thoughts that she had been trying to subdue getting free quite easily. She leaned back against the bottom of her couch, staring at the sunny world outside her balcony window.

_Is the whole day going to be like this?_

While Minamo usually enjoyed the tranquility of her apartment, the silence of it was all working against her at the moment. The stirrings of her mind echoed so loudly throughout it, and she was beginning to wonder if she'd be able to hold her focus at all as the hours went by, if she could even finish the slightest bit of work without obsessing over what had happened to her.

What she needed was some way to retain her concentration, some sort of anchor in which she could attach herself to so that her worries wouldn't wash her away, that would allow her to get her work done.

_I just need a distraction, just something to-_

A thin smile broke out on her face, Minamo quickly realizing what she required in order to salvage her temperament.

* * *

_I can't tell if it hurts or not._

_It's such a weird feeling._

_..._

_I wonder if my friends know how this feels._

_I wish I could talk to them._

_..._

_What do you mean? Of course I have friends._

_I'm their friend, so why wouldn't they be mine?_

_They've always been my friends...and they always will be._

_..._

_You agree with me, don't you...?_

* * *

The ringing on the other end of the line continued to sound off, Minamo becoming a bit anxious as to how much longer that it could go on.

_I guess...I guess I can leave her a message. She'll get up event-_

_"What?"_

Relief took her. "Y-Yukari? Hey, it's me."

_"What is it?"_

She laughed lightly. _I don't think I can ever remember you being up this early. _"Oh, um, well, I was just seeing what you were up to."

_"I'm kind of busy. I'm on a mission."_

"...err, what?"

_"From the gods."_

"...umm, yeah, I'm not sure what you're talking about."

"_I'm on a quest dammit'. I've got to-...I will set your face on fire, shithead!"_

Minamo almost dropped her phone in surprise, the sudden bout of yelling from her friend screaming loudly through it. "E-excuse me...?"

Yukari continued on, engaging in some vehement tirade that puzzled Minamo as to what exactly was going on at her friend's house. Things were soon made clear, however, when she began to hear some other sounds come through the line, faint explosions that were coupled with bits of music here and there.

_Ah...that's why__ you're up already. "_So...how's the game going?"

Her friend spouted out a few more obscenities, aimed at whoever, or whatever, she was playing against on her new console, before returning her attention to her phone. _"Uh...yeah, it's going great! I'm pretty far in it, now. I love the battle system, and..."_

Minamo listened to her for a few minutes as her friend went into the details of what she was playing, the same details that she had already heard from her yesterday when she had paid her a visit after work. She had spent that entire evening with her, greatly enjoying how happy Yukari was as she watched her go all out with her games, laughing with her as they went through their usual conversations together. It had been a wonderful few hours that had allowed Minamo to temporarily forget about her mother's text message and all the heavy emotions that had come with it, her friend's zany personality just somehow always having the ability to push all of her tribulations away.

That experience with the woman, then, had influenced her new plan for the day. Instead of spending it alone in her apartment, she would go over to her friend's house and get her work done there. It would undoubtedly be a much more noisier environment when compared to her own home, but Minamo was quite used to operating in those sorts of conditions. She needed that commotion at the moment anyways, to just have Yukari around her, as the sheer magnitude of her friend's personality carried with it the potential to drown out all the negative thoughts that had been going around in her head.

Minamo raised her voice a bit as she spoke again, interrupting Yukari as politely as she could. "...hey, Yukari. So...I took off for today, because I wasn't feeling too well."

_"Oh yeah?"_

"Yeah...and, well, I was wondering if I could come over for the day? Since we're both off and all."

_"I don't want your disease."_

"I'm not sick...just tired. I just needed a break for today."

_"Yeah, fine, come on over."_

Her eyes widened with some astonishment, Yukari not giving her any lip at all about what she wanted to do. Minamo had been expecting the woman to poke some fun at her, since she was essentially going to engage in what she had lectured Yukari to_ not _do in the first place, to abandon her classes so that she could just goof off at home.

_She must be focusing on that game too much to really notice things. Oh well. I mean, I'm going to be getting work done anyways, not just play around..._

"Thanks, Yukari. I'll be there within an hour. I'll bring you something to eat too, ok?"

Her friend didn't seem to hear her, Yukari now spouting off about some other injustice that had occurred in her game, so Minamo simply said a few more parting words before hanging up.

She stretched her arms out as she got off the couch, taking a little walk around her living room to do the same for her legs as well. Although her mood was turning for the better now, the idea of being in the company of her best friend filling her with some new life, that guilty feeling that had haunted her all morning still continued to tug away at her, it's pull becoming just a bit stronger due to the decision that she had just made.

_Why is it so wrong? I never do anything like this. Is it a big deal if I'm going there during work? Because I just want to be with my friend right now? So what if she's not your favorite person, that you don't want me to hang around with...?_

Minamo shook her head, trying to once again reclaim ownership of her thoughts, and then made her way to her bathroom in order to take a hot shower before going out to spend the rest of the day with Yukari.

* * *

_Ah...it's warm._

_I never knew it was so warm. Not like this._

_..._

_I hate it._

_It's disgusting._

_..._

_Disgustingly warm._

_Disgusting, just like you._


	10. Part I Chapter 10

**Author's Notes**

Hey!

So, I started writing this whole thing about a year ago, and I'm still having a lot of fun with it! Thanks for sticking with both it and me :) There is still *a lot* more story to come as well.

Chapter pic in my FF profile. Also, if anyone could answer this, I'd appreciate it: in the picture, I painted the front door opening outward, because that's how it was in the anime. Do house doors actually open like that in Japan?

Next chapter will come sometime this week. Happy New Year!

Comments, grammar checks, and critiques are welcome :)

~Mendhi

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything related to Azumanga Daioh. Don't sue me bro!

* * *

Part I

Chapter 10

Minamo's jaw couldn't have dropped any lower.

"What? What the hell ya' lookin' at?"

"I…wow…"

Yukari frowned, a frustrated look in her eyes. "There somethin' on my face? What? What is it?"

Minamo tried to reply, but her friend's appearance this morning was interfering with her ability to speak properly. She was staring at Yukari while they both stood in the doorway of the woman's house, Minamo having just arrived there a few minutes ago. When Yukari had come to let her in, however, she had given her quite the shock due to how she looked. There was nothing wrong with how she was dressed or anything like that, Minamo quite accustomed to seeing her friend in the messy tank top and pajamas that made up her usual home attire, but her disposition itself was another matter entirely.

"It's…just…" She looked at her watch quickly, verifying that it still was just a bit after eight in the morning. "I don't think I've ever seen you so…awake...?"

Yukari tilted her head with suspicion, looking as if she felt that she had just been insulted, but having no idea as to how.

Minamo smiled sheepishly. She wasn't trying to make fun of her, but, after having been to Yukari's house so many times in the morning before, she couldn't recall an instance when she had looked anything less than completely lethargic at this time of day. Yukari had never been an early riser, and often times when Minamo would come to pick her up for work, she would literally have to _drag_ her sleepy friend out of bed so that she could somehow get them both there on time.

Naturally, then, she had come over today with the expectation of seeing Yukari in that usual sluggish form of hers, but on this occasion she looked as if she had actually been up and awake for hours already. Her friend's eyes were so uncharacteristically alert and ready, her overall demeanor not like anything that Minamo was used to at this hour of the day.

_Well…she did answer the phone earlier, too. That was actually pretty strange. _"Um…how long have you been up today?"

"What?"

"I mean…sorry, it's just, well, it looks like you didn't have any trouble getting up today."

"Huh? Oh." Yukari shrugged. "I didn't go to sleep."

"_What?"_

"Yeah, I was playin' all last night. Geez, what's the problem?"

Minamo shook her head wearyingly. Yukari had always seemed to have been the type of person who absolutely required a ridiculous amount of sleep in order to function, and so to hear that she actually had some level of _control _over it all was entirely news to her. _Why the hell can't you get up for work on time, then?_

She let the issue slip for now. "Nothing…anyways, can I come in already? It's cold out here."

Yukari crooked her ahead again. "Why ya' here, anyways? I'm off this whole week, remember? I ain't goin' to work."

Minamo glared at her with astonishment. "I just called you an hour ago! I told you that I wanted to come over today because I took off too, remember?"

Her friend began to scratch the back of her head. "Oh…that was you?"

"_Who did you think it was?"_

A puzzled look came onto Yukari's face then, as if she couldn't understand the question that had just been asked of her. She just stood there silently in the doorway, looking genuinely clueless as to what was going on.

Minamo sighed. "Look, never mind. Like I said, I took the day off and then figured that we could hang out together since we're both off."

The woman continued to stare at her blankly, playing with a strand of her long hair until an impish smile slowly crept across her face. "I know why yer' here." She cackled. "You loved my Playstation that much, didn't 'cha?"

Minamo sighed again.

"You missed it! You missed it's freakin' awesomeness! Watchin' me kick ass across the globe with it!"

Another sigh.

"That's it! That's what it is! You damn hypocrite!" Yukari put her hands on her hips, laughing loudly as she stood forth with a triumphant pose in her doorway, her voice taking on a mockingly passive tone. "'Oh, Yukari! You shouldn't skip work to play that thing! Don't abandon your precioooouuuus students!'" She set her voice back to normal. "I mean, come on, Nyamo, what the hell kinda' example are you settin' to your kids now?"

Minamo kept her mouth closed, patiently bearing through her friend's taunts as they continued on. She really didn't feel up to the task of arguing with Yukari in the cold morning air, figuring that she could leave it that much sooner if she just let the woman have her fun. "Yeah, yeah. Ok, just let me in, alright?"

Yukari crossed her arms over her chest, her voice becoming haughty. "Why should I do that? I mean, it wouldn't be right of me to aid a renegade teach-"

"I'm not a 'renegade'."

"…a renegade teacher who's tryna' abandon her sworn duties. I mean, what would that make me then, eh? An accomplice! An accomplice to your pilferin' of your student's futur-"

Minamo pushed forth her arm suddenly, her fingers clutching a small white bag that she had been holding the entire while. "Here."

Yukari paused in her speech, scrutinizing the item that was before her. "What the hell is thi-"

The woman suddenly ripped the bag away from her, realizing now what it was, and then tore it open, quickly devouring one of the pastries that had been inside. "'mo'kay', thu' hath' paeth' tha' tholl'." She walked away from the door then, signaling for Minamo to follow her.

Minamo shook her sadly. _Why did I come here again?_

She decided not to answer that question for now, stepping inside the house as she locked the door behind her and then began to remove her sneakers, setting them aside along with her coat. A quick check on the backpack that she had brought along confirmed that she hadn't left anything in her car, and so, satisfied with that, Minamo turned around to follow her friend up the stairs to her room, taking a peek into the living room along the way. "Where's your mom at?"

Yukari finished gobbling down another pastry. "Uh, I dunno'. Prolly' sleepin' still."

Minamo laughed. "That's a first for her, then."

"What is?"

"Well, she doesn't have to be up early to wake you up for once."

Yukari grunted, shouldering off the remark.

Minamo smiled, happy to take a point back from their earlier exchange outside. She had asked about her mother because, while Minamo had always just called this place 'Yukari's house', it was in reality the home of her friend's parents, Yukari just living with them still. The woman was basically a part of that new generation of young adults who, while having full-time careers, had still chosen to remain with their families so that they could profit from an enormous amount of disposable income. It was a lifestyle that perfectly suited Yukari, the woman having almost nothing to pay towards in terms of living expenses, and that financial freedom had allowed her to completely blow her money on whatever her heart so desired. Her problem, of course, was that she rarely had the capacity to properly save up for what she _did_ actually want, usually giving into the temptations of expensive food and booze much too easily and then soon finding herself broke anyways.

Regardless of that, however, the woman still did enjoy her fairly carefree existence, one of which that, to some degree, Minamo wouldn't mind having as well. She herself had been living on her own since she had first become a teacher, and while she did get by on her modest amount of income, she had felt the strain of a tight budget more often than she cared to admit, something of which Yukari never really had to experience. The woman was essentially freeloading inside of what was a palace when compared to her own little apartment, the Tanizaki residence a large, modern home that was kept in sparkling condition by its owners, and Minamo couldn't help but sometimes feel a bit envious of having such an easy life as well.

_Well, I still do love the freedom that comes along with having my own place and what not. But, having no bills once in awhile would be nice too..._

Those thoughts left her as the two of them finally reached Yukari's room, a sudden shift in environment causing Minamo to stumble a bit as she walked inside, her friend shutting the door behind her. "Geez, why's it so dark in here? Open the curtains up, or the door at least. It's like a cave in here..."

Yukari rested down upon the carpeted floor, food still in hand, and positioned herself snugly into a pile of pillows that sat in front of a large entertainment center, her games, her systems, a flat screen television, all of it and more adorning it like a shrine. "No way. That would kill the immersion."

Minamo looked at her awkwardly, placing her backpack on to a small floor table as her eyes began to adjust to the dim lighting that was provided by the television. "Immersion?"

Her friend picked up a controller, the device strewn amidst a mess of strategy guides and other console accessories, a little laptop that she used to look up information on her games topping it all off. "Ya' know, my experience. I'll get a lot more return on my investment this way."

Before Minamo could inquire as to what she was talking about, a burst of music and sound effects exploded from a pair of speakers that were next to the flat screen, Yukari unpausing her game and grinning wildly as she brought the room to life. "That's what I'm talkin' about! Get a loada' that." She brought her hands up as if she were presenting something, looking around the darkened room. "See, it's like a movie theater now, Nyamo!" Her head nodded towards the television. "It's like I'm really in this shit!"

Minamo shook her head, sitting down and plunking her elbows onto the table as she took in the spectacle that was before her.

Out of every other person that she knew of their age, of any age even, Yukari Tanizaki was the only one who would be doing what she was at the moment, relaxing in her trademark slacker posture while playing video games at the expense of her job and students. It had just always seemed that her friend's sole purpose in life was to engage in the most frivolous of activities whenever she could, Yukari always making sure to avoid her responsibilities as much as possible in order to allocate more time towards goofing off. Minamo, of course, had always barked at those habits of her friend constantly throughout the years, Yukari's decadent practices completely going against the edicts of hard work and diligence that she herself so thoroughly believed in.

_Look at you...Yukari, you can't do this forever. I don't know...maybe one day you'll change finally...hopefully._

She smiled to herself as she began to take some binders and writing utensils out of her bag. In a way, Yukari had always been a sort of ongoing pet project of Minamo's, her goal being the reformation of her friend by means of eliminating some of her more self-destructive habits, in order for her to finally become a more mature and respectable adult. It was, essentially, an act done out of Minamo's natural sense of compassion, her desire to try and enrich the life of someone that she cared about always giving her the motivation to keep on working with them. In Yukari's case, she felt that her friend had just simply never benefited from the fruits of an organized, purposeful mindset, and so had always gone well out of her way to aid her in obtaining one. Most of the time, though, her efforts were quite in vain, Minamo's lectures to Yukari regarding her brash behavior usually not having the desired effects, but that had never deterred her from trying time and time again. She really did worry about her friend's future down the line, of where her childish antics might lead her to someday, and so simply wanted to help her avoid any sort of troubles by having her grow up just a bit.

_It's probably the teacher inside of me, not wanting to give up on someone that needs so-_

Something that she hadn't noticed around her before suddenly made itself visible, Minamo's sight finally having become properly adjusted to the low levels of light in the room. "Holy crap, Yukari."

Her friend didn't take her eyes off her game. "What?"

Minamo stood up, coming over to where Yukari sat and pointing towards a sea of junk food wrappers, empty beer cans, and other such trash that littered the floor of her room. "You didn't clean this up from yesterday? Look at all this. It's disgusting!"

"Dammit', shutup."

"Pause your game. We're going to clean everything up right now." She stormed across the room before her friend could answer, opening the curtains of the window that resided over Yukari's bed, sunlight now spilling inside.

Yukari looked over at her with fury. "Ahhh! What the hell are ya' doin'? Close them, dammit'!"

Minamo ignored her, turning around to take a look at the room as a whole since she could actually see it all now. Her friend's part of the house was pretty much like it always was: a complete mess with books and magazines scattered everywhere, clothes tossed about carelessly, her personal belongings disorganized and dusty. And, while there was usually leftover trash from whenever Yukari ate in here, there was much more than usual scattered about due to last night's fun.

She put a hand over her face, covering it as if she had a headache. "I should have known better. I only left it like this since you said that _you_ were going to clean everything up."

Yukari laid down on the floor, resting on her side as she continued to play her game. "It's not your place, so why the hell does it matter?"

"Because you always make your mom and dad pick up everything! How pathetic is that?"

"But they _want_ toooooo…"

Minamo let out a distressed breath. "Seriously, you need to stop acting like a baby and start taking care of things yourself. Come on, get up and start picking this up while I go get a trash bag."

Yukari whined loudly, launching into a tantrum about how Minamo was some sort of obsessive-compulsive neat freak, but after a bit more coaxing she finally got up and started to gather some of the litter that was tossed about.

Minamo smiled. "Good. Now, hold on, I'll go get that bag quick."

"Ahhh, go stuff yourself in it…"

She turned around as she was about to leave the room. "What was that?"

Yukari put on a happy face. "Nothing, nothing!"

Minamo rolled her eyes, taking her leave as she made her way to the laundry room, the household supplies located in one of the cabinets there. She knew the layout of the Tanizaki house quite well, possibly even more familiar with its organization than that of her own apartment, and so knew exactly where to go whenever she needed to get something. A good amount of her time had been spent here ever since she had first met Yukari, and so she had absolutely no problem in finding anything inside of it. In less than minute she was already back in her friend's room, a large trash bag in hand.

Yukari groaned as if she were in pain, the woman kicking together piles of garbage with her feet. "Why should I have to do this shit? I'm on vacation, dammit'."

"Because it's your room, and you never clean it." Minamo paused, taking a look around at the mess again. "You know what? While we're at it, let's straighten the whole thing out, too. I mean, I can't even remember the last time that this place looked even half way decent."

Her friend looked up at her as she was dealing with the last few wrappers on the ground, a scowl on her face now. "Are you kiddin' me? No way!"

"No, I'm not kidding. We're both here cleaning up already, so we might as well do it all. Come on, it'll probably just take about an hour."

"Then you do it, 'cause I'm on vacation."

"That doesn't matter."

"Yes it does. I'm on vacation."

"It's your _room _and your _responsibility_ to not live like a pig."

"_I'm on vacation!"_

"Look, I understand that, and all that means is that you have plenty of time to do something that's actually_ productive. _This is probably the best time to get this done."

"_No it isn't!_"

Minamo placed some authority into her voice. "Your room has been like this forever, Yukari. Stop complaining and let's just take care of this."

Her friend put her hands over her face, screaming loudly into them "_Why are you doing this to meeeeee?"_

An argument broke out then, both women stating their cases with passionate vigor, going off on the most inane of tangents when their discussions got a bit too heated. After about five minutes of it, however, Minamo's desired course of action prevailed over the belligerence of Yukari, who was finally able to pressure her friend into doing what she felt was such a routine and simple task.

"I'll get you for this, woman."

Minamo shrugged, brushing off her friend's threat without a word as they both began to clean up the rugged landfill that was Yukari's room.


	11. Part I Chapter 11

**Author's Notes**

Hi!

I don't have a chapter picture for one this one yet, but I will put one up soon. Busy busy :( However the next chapter should come out pretty quick (with a pic!).

Hope your new year is going well :)

~Mendhi

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything related to Azumanga Daioh. Don't sue me bro!

* * *

Part I

Chapter 11

_There. Much better._

A final tug on the sheets pulled them tightly into place over the mattress, Minamo admiring her handy work as she finished making Yukari's bed. Her friend hadn't changed the linens for it in quite some time, and so, after having grabbed some fresh ones, Minamo had just done it herself.

She threw the comforter on top once everything looked up to her standards, smiling as her nose began to tingle. Although it was a bit faint since she had just changed everything, the scent of the perfume that Yukari usually wore was still emanating from the mattress itself. It was a lively, fruity fragrance, smelling like a mix of oranges and berries, and as far as Minamo could remember her friend had always used the same brand since she had started wearing the stuff.

_Well, I guess it is a nice one. I mean, I still like it…_

_*thunk*_

Minamo turned to her side, watching Yukari throw down an empty clothes basket with obvious aggravation, her friend now glaring straight at her. "There, I put everythin' in the washer. Are you happy now yer' stinkin' majesty?"

"Yeah, but, you should be, too. I mean, they're _your_ clothes."

Yukari grumbled out something inaudible, taking a long view around the room afterward. "This don't feel like my pad now."

Minamo looked around as well. It had taken them a little longer than expected, but her friend's room actually looked as if it were inhabited by a civilized human being now. No scraps of litter were on the floor anymore, Yukari's furniture and personal belongings finally well organized and dust free. "That's probably a good thing. But, see how great everything looks now? Doesn't that make you feel good, to see your room like this?"

"Whatever." Yukari came up next to her, leaning towards a large window that sat above her bed, her hands pulling the curtains back together again.

"Do you really have to close th-"

"_Shut the hell up!"_

Minamo put her hands up defensively, her friend bristling with anger. "Alright, alright. I'm just going to borrow your desk lamp then, ok? I just want to be able see my papers."

"Damn your papers and damn you." One she had finished shutting the curtains, Yukari turned around and brushed passed her friend with haste, jumping to where her pillows were and picking up her controller as she resumed her gaming binge once more.

Minamo smiled warmly, the woman's rash behavior causing her to snicker a bit.

_She's mad at me._

Her friend's words had been quite heavy with grievance, but Minamo had taken no real offense from any of it, actually finding her actions more entertaining than hurtful. Whenever Yukari was forced to do something against her will, she would put on this pouty looking face that was always so adorable to look at, like that of an impudent child who had just had their pride wounded and could only show their disdain through a naive sort of indignation. It was a type of disposition that was just too humorous to take seriously, even though the woman was probably fuming underneath it.

Minamo took one last look at the room then, content with it all, and then stepped across it while dodging a kick from Yukari since she had gotten in the way of the screen. From off of a work desk she picked up a tall lamp, setting it down next to the floor table. Once it was in a good spot she flipped the switch on, sitting down and making herself comfortable as she resumed watching her friend, trying to hold in another round of giggles as she did.

_You're so funny..._

While the woman's aggravated look was still indeed tickling her, what Minamo was finding more amusement in now was the entirety of the situation that just had occurred over the last hour. Even though Yukari absolutely _hated_ to do anything that went outside of her hedonistic beliefs, the only time that she _did_ actually undertake such endeavors was when Minamo told her do so. There was always that initial bout of resistance at first, but eventually the woman would succumb to her demands and do whatever chore it was that she had in store for her, a fact that had always filled Minamo with glee. She couldn't exactly explain why, but there was just something so tantalizing from knowing that she alone had a degree of control over such an unruly individual, her commands the only ones that Yukari ever seemed to obey. It was a phenomenon that had hardly gone unnoticed as well, their friends and peers often remarking about how she could manage the woman in the way that she did, Yukari's own parents having been the most impressed by the feats. They both had always greatly adored Minamo, not just for having been a good companion and role model for their daughter, but also for being able to get her to do things that they _themselves_ couldn't even force her to.

_You just have to remember that you're dealing with a baby, not an adult, and then take it from there._

A chuckle finally broke out from her, Yukari shooting her a wicked glare before turning back to her screen.

Minamo covered her mouth, eventually calming down, and then reached into her backpack to take out a thermos that she had filled with coffee. She took the cap off, pouring the liquid into it since it doubled as a mug, and then set about on her work amid the blaring sounds of Yukari's video game. Although the noise from the speakers was quite loud, it really didn't bother her that much at all, Minamo having become quite used to operating in such conditions from her many past visits. To some extent she actually even _enjoyed_ having it all about her, the clamor helping her to concentrate on what she was doing since it essentially kept her thoughts in check, whereas, in a silent environment, they could easily wander off to places where Minamo didn't want them to go, like they had done all night before.

Content with everything as it was then, she began to grind through her papers diligently for the next half hour, finishing up some grading and other miscellaneous tasks. When she had gotten to a point at where she felt a break was needed, she set her pen down and then looked up at Yukari, smiling as she did.

_Ah, there she goes. Perfect timing._

Minamo sat back, watching her friend as she continued to plow through the game that she was playing, the irritation that had gripped her earlier now having faded away. The state of the woman's emotions had never held any real lasting power in the face of her distractions, a fact that Minamo had come to rely upon whenever they had a scuffle, since absolutely no one_,_ let alone herself_,_ _ever_ wanted to get on Yukari's bad side. In this case, however, Minamo wasn't trying to avoid her wrath because of any fear from her actions, but rather, she was hoping for it all to not interfere with the show that she had been waiting for.

She took a sip from her coffee, peeking over the cup with excitement as the reason of why she had wanted to come over today began to play out before her eyes.

If there was one thing that Minamo could honestly say that she had always actually _enjoyed_ about Yukari Tanizaki's oddball behavior, it was the way in which the woman could become so completely engrossed in her hobbies. Her friend had been enjoying a role playing game that she had picked up along with her new console, its story unfolding before her as she delved further and further into it, and her reactions towards what was happening on the screen were nothing short of being absolutely delightful to watch. Almost every other minute she would be talking to herself for some reason or another, discussing the nuances of some character drama that had occurred, when a twist in the story had taken place, and her facial expressions and voice would quite vividly state her most inward thoughts. She would look incredibly surprised one moment, sad the next, her emotions changing with every scene and new piece of information, and her brown eyes would suck in every little detail as she became more and more oblivious to her actual surroundings.

She was, in a nutshell, truly believing that she was in the world that she was vicariously participating in through the controller, and it was a spectacle that Minamo had seen her duplicate in front of all sorts of media. Whether it was a video game, a movie, a television series, anything that tugged at one's suspension of disbelief would easily lure Yukari into it. The inner workings of her whacked personality, the construction of it, had always been well maintained by the wildest of imaginations, a voracious one that needed to constantly feed off some external source of wonder whenever it could, and her earlier words to Minamo about the quality of her 'immersion' had been said with all seriousness. The thrill that she got from her games was solely derived from how well she could get into them, and, while the display that she put on while doing so might appear as the behavior of a screwball, to Minamo it was all nothing short of being positively charming. There was just this purity about her friend's pleasure that she found so enthralling, to watch Yukari's unique sense of character act out in such a raw form.

_I don't know why, but, it's just so amazing...to watch you be amazed._

She took a quick look at her watch, noting how long she had already been working on her papers, and then decided to get a bit more mileage out of the fun she was having. Her attention shifted towards the television, now following the game along with Yukari. "So you really like this one, huh? I think I saw you play it a bit before I left yesterday."

Yukari kept her eyes on the screen. "Huh? Oh, yeah, it's hecka' awesome. It's been pretty good so far, no stupid ass cliches and what not. Ya' know, that stuff I always tell ya' about the other RPG's I play?"

Minamo thought for a moment. "Oh, yeah. You said they always have the same kind of story or something."

"Yeah! Well, this one is different, 'cause it has a good writer, or designer, or whatever. Like, see these three guys? They…"

Minamo listened to her go on, Yukari describing to her the backgrounds of each of her characters, how the plot had played out so far, and so forth. No detail was spared from her explanations, and Minamo paid close attention to every word that she uttered. She didn't do so, however, in order to gain some key understanding of the game's world and history, most of what Yukari was telling her flying well over her head, but rather to just simply listen to her friend's voice itself, Minamo not really caring _what_ she was saying, but _how_ she was saying it. Every little utterance that came from Yukari's mouth was just dripping with sheer enthusiasm, Minamo feeling much like a parent that was listening to her child rave on and on about their passion in the most innocent of ways.

She relaxed down onto the table then, almost melting into it. The pure zeal that Yukari could put forth about stories that she loved had always seemed incredible to Minamo, and she felt somewhat privileged in being able to experience the magnitude of her friend's fascination first hand, even if it was just over something as simple as a video game. It was like she herself was feeling the excitement that Yukari was, her friend's enormous personality acting as the conductor between them.

_I'm so glad I came over here today. So, so glad..._

Minamo chuckled, feeling a pulse of happiness ripple through her body. When she had decided to visit her friend this morning, her hope behind it had been for Yukari to help her forget about the difficult night that he had undergone with her mother yesterday, and so far the woman had delivered completely. Just being able to witness her zany, animated self always soothed her mind somehow, Yukari's antics and peculiar sort of charisma acting like a panacea for all her worries and troubles.

_Thanks, Yukari._

She looked back at the screen for a second, hearing some dialogue that was strangely familiar to her. "Hey…weren't you playing through this part yesterday? I sort of remember that cutscene…"

Yukari didn't look at her. "Huh…? Oh, yeah, I was on this part before ya' left."

"…'this part'?"

"Yeah, I started over at like midnight."

Minamo eyed her with suspicion. "Umm, why? You said you had played it like five hours already yesterday."

"Yeah, I know, but, I was readin' about the endings on this one site, and, uh, I was goin' towards the best one, but then I read what happened in it and it was super lame."

"…what was 'lame' about it?"

Yukari glanced between her laptop and television a few times. "'cause it's dumb, where everyone's all happy and shit."

She was about to question her friend about what she meant before Yukari interrupted her. "You see that little girl there, with the pink hair and crossbow?" She nodded towards the screen.

Minamo looked back towards it. "Yeah, that cute little kid in your party?"

"Yeah, her." Yukari looked at her laptop again, slowly reading something. "So ya' see, after this scene ends, I'm goin' to this one town I didn't go to yesterday. I got this item on her now that they don't like, so if I go visit them with her while she's got it, then I can start this story arc where I can get her and some other dude in my party killed pretty damn badly at the end."

Minamo stared at her blankly for a few moments, eventually mustering forth a half-hearted laugh for her friend, one in which she acknowledged what Yukari was going for but that also showed some disgust towards it. "Yeah…good luck with that."

Yukari didn't seem to hear her, the woman just smiling cheerfully at the screen, the morbidity of her goal pleasing her incredibly.

Minamo shook her head._ You really haven't changed at all. Not in any way._

She stretched her arms out, holding back some more chuckles as she recalled how her friend's particular tastes in stories had remained much the same since they were teenagers. While Yukari could get into almost any sort of tale that she deemed worthy enough of her attention, she had always had this special love affair for ones with tragic endings, where the characters and overall plot often took turns for the worst. Minamo had never really understood her affection for them, but figured that, to some degree, it probably had something to do with her friend's infamous amount of pride. Yukari had always been a person who had never enjoyed seeing other people do better than her in life, and so just seemed to find some solace in watching a_nyone_, in real life or in a game, run into horrible obstacles that set them aback, their failures somehow vindicating her.

It was, of course, a sadistic pleasure, one that Minamo had often criticized her about since high school, but Yukari had never let go of the habit. As in the case of the RPG that she was playing, she had absolutely no problems with starting over in order to get the marred ending that she required for herself, to throw off any hope of a happy future for her own heroes. It was simply too much of a cathartic experience for her, to see others fall at her whim, and the demented grin that was stroked across her face at the moment told Minamo that she was certainly getting her money's worth from her purchase.

_That same old sicko face, just like when you..._

Her train of thought led her eyes towards the far end of Yukari's entertainment center, several rows of shelves situated next to it.

She got up, stretching her legs now as she went to stand before them. Earlier in the day they had been a bit empty, their usual contents thrown about the floor carelessly, but after both she and Yukari had reorganized everything, it had been fully restored.

On each level of shelving, completely filling each one, were rows of books that her friend had been collecting well before Minamo had first met her. A few of them were the types that someone would expect of Yukari's caliber to have, some mangas and game guides here and there, but the vast majority of them were actual, traditional novels, classic and modern works that reflected her specific penchants: tragedies, horror stories, somber mysteries, anything where the outcome was probably not something that most people would regularly find palatable. To Yukari, however, they were delights to be enjoyed, an array of fictions and fantasies that quenched her heart's lust for blood, books by far her most favorite method to do so.

The funny thing about them all though, apart from their macabre genres, was that a good portion of them were foreign books that had been penned in English. When her friend was young, she had discovered that a great many works in the world hadn't yet been translated into their own language, and so, instead of wondering about their contents or hearing short summaries about them, Yukari had just decided to learn English herself. By the time that Minamo had met her in high school, the woman had already developed a decent grasp of the language and had never hesitated in showboating her proficiency with it to anyone that she ran into.

Minamo knelt down in front of the shelves, looking over some of the titles. "I can't believe that you have some of these books still. I recognize some of these from our first year."

Yukari peeked over towards her. "Yeah…I dunno'. I don't like throwin' em away."

"You shouldn't!" Minamo stood up, stepping back to look at the overall collection. "I mean, even if you don't read them anymore, they still really add something to your room, don't you think? Definitely looks better than having them all on the floor."

Her friend scrutinized her belongings over. "Yeah, I guess they do."

She smiled. "See? Now that you've cleaned up your whole room, you can really see the difference it all makes! I mean, that's why I keep telling you to keep this place looking well, because it feels great to see all your stuff looking so slick, right?"

Yukari turned back towards her game, not saying anything in reply, and that silence on her friend's part filled Minamo with a little satisfaction. When the woman didn't continue a conversation like she had just done, it was usually just her stubborn way of admitting that whoever she had been talking to was right about something that she had initially disagreed with.

Minamo looked at the shelves, admiring it all once more, and then stooped down on the ground as something caught her eye. "Oh…oh, wow!"

"Wha'?"

Her hand reached behind one of the shelves, pulling out some old notebooks that had been hidden behind them, clothes and other bedroom junk having covered it all up before now. "Are these…oh my gosh, they are! Yukari, I can't believe that you have these still!"

Her friend finally looked over. "Ah, crap, put 'em back."

She laughed. "But why? I want to read them!"

"Man...dammit', don't laugh at 'em or I'll kill ya'."

"I won't! I won't!"

Her words were just for show, Minamo unable to stop some chuckles from coming out as she removed the notebooks from their hiding place, stacking them on the floor and taking the top one into her lap as she sat down. Its red cover was badly faded from years of exposure to sunlight and natural wear and tear, but as Minamo flipped it open she was relieved to see that the pages themselves were still quite intact, the scribbled writing and terrible looking doodles that accompanied them quite discernible.

_It all looks the same...just like it was back in high school._

Without another moment's hesitation her eyes flew across the words, gobbling up the text that was sending nostalgia blazing through her, Minamo feeling the goosebumps she had felt when she had first read these books as a teenager. What they contained upon their pages was a part of her best friend that most people would never assume she was capable of having, a talent that was the natural development of anyone who possessed an imagination that was as enormous as Yukari's. "I'm so glad that you have these still! You shouldn't have stopped writing, you know."

Yukari took her time in replying, the clicking of buttons from her gamepad the only audible sound between them in the meanwhile. "Wouldn't matter anyways."

She looked at her friend then, having felt the slightest trace of somberness in her voice, and became puzzled since Yukari was looking a bit melancholy now. "...what do you mean? What wouldn't matter?"

The woman didn't answer her, and Minamo was unable to tell whether she was just too into her game at the moment, or was simply ignoring her.

She shook her head, leaving the matter aside for now, and then continued reading from where she had left off in the notebook, when she had been right at the start of just one of the hundreds of stories that Yukari herself had written back in their school days.


	12. Part I Chapter 12

**Author's Notes**

Hello!

Chapter pic in my profile.

~Mendhi

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything related to Azumanga Daioh. Don't sue me bro!

* * *

Part I

Chapter 12

_'...and when he had gotten up, he was so sure that he was going to be all ok. But that was not the case as such because if he had been more aware, possibly, then he would have heard the bullet shot that just flew through his skull! Yes, in the end, nothing was going well, after all, as much as he had thought otherwise, and those thoughts were now leaking out from his brains._

_He grasped at his wound in much vain, but it was much too late. Everything started turning black and he could see lights flicker by from the cars on the streets. Their lights were flashing on the walls of the alley. But that didn't matter too him, what was around him in this case. What he could only ponder only at this moment was only one thing, before he was fully gone, was who the hell had killed him!_

_He looked up before he died. The alley street was cold but his skin was growing even colder. There was a shadow that was gone quickly, he saw it move. Who the hell was it? Would he ever know? No, because he was dying._

_But, wait, maybe not._

_Before he died he smelled it. That same damn smell. That was always being around him as a child and through out his life, it was there. Damn it damn it damn it, it was her! He should have known. What Honda said! If he had only listened to him, damn! Then he might have known, about the package, about what was in it! It made sense now, the bottle of perfume! He would have known who was behind it all, he would have!_

_He breathed his last breath then. His final breath took in the smell of that damn perfume one more time, the damn perfume of his own mother._

_...THE END...NOT TO BE CONTINUED...'_

Minamo closed the notebook, having finally gone through its contents in about an hour, and then set it down carefully as she picked up the next one.

She stole a quick glance over at Yukari, the woman playing her game still. "I just finished the first ones, about that detective and his mom killing him at the end. Man...I still can't believe that you wrote all this."

Her friend didn't look at her. "Ahh...yeah..."

"Why were you hiding these back there anyway?" She laughed. "Did you not want anyone to find them?"

"Ahh...I don't know...they're old, so, whatever..."

Minamo looked down at the pile of notebooks, brushing them with a hand. "Well...I'm glad that you didn't toss them. I actually thought that you did, since I haven't seen these in a few years..."

Yukari shrugged. "Yeah, well...it's silly ol' crap, so...I forgot about 'em, too."

Her laughter slowly subsided, noticing how drained her friend's voice had suddenly become, some scant trace of regret in it.

_What's up with you? _

She hadn't really noticed it before since she had been busy reading, but now that her focus had returned to her friend, Minamo could sense that something was different about her, like some part of Yukari's nature had changed. Her usual rambunctious aura seemed to have thinned out a bit, and it was hard to tell whether it was the on-screen drama of her game that had affected it, or if some unspoken personal matter had crept into her consciousness. Whatever it was, though, Minamo didn't want to make too much out of it at the moment, her interest still fully glued to her discoveries today.

Her eyes returned to the pages before her, plunging themselves back into another batch of Yukari's old works from their high school days. While the woman had always loved to devour a good story from very early on in her youth, her morbid specifications for them had made her quite the critic towards most published media that she had run across, always hating whenever a plot was too campy, a certain character blessed with too much love or happiness. Those positive aspects usually discouraged any chance of providing her with the tumultuous events and endings that she required, and so, in order to rectify those mistakes that she saw, she had simply begun writing her own edited versions of them, applying the grisly touches that she felt they had needed and getting a sense of satisfaction that the original source material couldn't provide her. After that, it was just a natural step to begin the process of writing her own original tales, ones in which she could fully unleash her demented desires to her heart's content.

The notebooks that Minamo had been going through then were the collections of all those old writings. Originally Yukari had kept them all to herself upon completion, but her boastful nature hadn't been able to tolerate that modest habit for very long, eventually coming to share them with Minamo, her classmates, even her teachers. Their initial glances at her creations however had given them all a bit of literary indigestion, Yukari's grammar having been quite rough at the time, and Minamo even remembered being told by someone that her friend's Japanese writing was somehow worse than her English.

But, once they had gotten past that...

Minamo smiled widely. "I still think that you really know how to tell a good murder story."

"Yeah…yeah."

She looked over at Yukari with a puzzled expression, her friend's words coming out with that deflated tone again. Minamo had expected the compliment to get more of an upbeat reaction from her, any sort of praise usually such a rarity for her to receive nowadays, but Yukari appeared as if she were just too busy with her game to really care.

Minamo turned her head back to the notebook, a little disappointed that her words hadn't had the effect she desired. She really had meant what she said about the woman's ability to tell a tale, as even though the dreary themes of them weren't exactly palatable to Minamo's usual tastes, they were still incredibly engaging and fun to read. Everyone that Yukari had shown her notebooks to had always been genuinely impressed by the captivating twists and turns that she placed into the plots, the intriguing personalities of the characters that she built, the shocking endings. She just had a natural talent for being able to capture the minds of her readers as they went through her lurid stories, the sheer magnitude of her imagination more than enough to overcome the juvenile grammar that she had constructed them with, which in itself had dissipated as she had gotten older. The stories that she had written in her final year of high school had been crafted with a much higher level of maturity, and while Minamo herself had never been much of the creative type, not able to really fathom anything that required artistic prowess, she had still been able to tell that her friend's writing skills had reached a point in which they were on par, or sometimes even better, than actual published books that she had read.

She peeked over at her friend again, watching her sit lazily as she continued on with her game.

_So I still just don't understand..._

She got up, walking over to Yukari with the notebook in hand and then sat down next to her. "Hey, Yukari."

"Whaaaaaat?"

"Pause it for a sec."

Yukari grimaced.

She lightly hit her friend's head with the book. "Come on, look at me. I want to talk to you."

The woman grunted, a frustrated look on her face now.

Minamo sighed. "I just want to know something. How come you stopped writing anyways? You never really explained that to me."

Yukari shrugged.

"Come on, I just want to know. I remember that you used to always be so pumped up about all this back in high school. Did you just get tired of it, or what?"

Her friend didn't respond, but Minamo saw her mouth morph into the slightest of frowns, a listless one that triggered the revival of a memory.

_Now that I think about it...didn't this happen the last time I asked her about this?_

She sat back, looking down at the book in her hands as she recalled Yukari's reactions to her previous interrogation of her forgotten talent, something that had happened during the start of their college days. In the years before that, Yukari had always been so excited about showing off her completed works to everyone, to hear what they all thought about them, if they could guess who'd be killing who, if the overall story was ghastly enough, and her passion for her art had even made her consider incorporating it into her future life at the time. 'Kickass author' was what Minamo remembered being at the top of the list from Yukari's career paper back in school, her friend's ecstatic face when she had wrote it down still quite vivid in her mind.

But after they had graduated and started their college adventures, that overwhelming desire to create had just disappeared from her for some reason, the woman having changed her original plans as she declared that she was becoming an English teacher instead. Her new choice in occupation had baffled Minamo completely, Yukari not having been the sort of person who had ever enjoyed being around kids, let alone instructing them, and so when she had inquired about the reason for that change of heart, her friend had acted in the same obstinate way as she was now. At most, she had simply stated that she was finished with her former calling, her works just a childish distraction from her past that she didn't need anymore, and had made it clear to Minamo that neither it or her notebooks mattered to her at all anymore.

_So if that was true, then why do have them still?_

A thought came to her, one that advised her to apply a kindness to her next words. "Hey Yukari...are you disappointed that some things didn't work ou-"

"_I told you to put 'em back_."

Her friend's voice was razor sharp, Minamo becoming a bit taken aback by them, but their instilled anger had made it more than obvious that she had struck at a nerve.

_That's what it is, then..._

She let Yukari be for a minute, just watching her, not wanting to bother her again until the woman's mood softened from what it had just hardened to. "Sorry...I was just curious."

Her friend didn't answer her, a stoic look on her face now.

Minamo sighed, regretting the bluntness of her question since the flow of their conversation hadn't really called for it, but the desire for an answer had been too hard to ignore. She just wanted to know why Yukari looked a little run down now, of why her old notebooks had instigated a change of moods, because she was concerned as to how she was feeling. However, going about it in the way that she had wasn't looking so smart in hindsight now, her friend's demeanor having turned for the worse because of it. _Geez, why did I do that..._

She watched the television screen for a few moments, not really paying attention to what was happening on it, but just using it as a distraction as she wondered over her actions. Back in the day, that specific question had never occurred to her because the nature of it was such that it could only be asked in the present time and place, after they had both established their lives down to a certain degree, and it had just now entered her mind. Minamo had gotten the notion that Yukari might have kept her notebooks for some sentimental reasons, and her brash behavior over them gave off the impression that she might not have been able to really let go of one of her old high school dreams. Considering the woman's usual preference for avoiding personal topics, discussing them always risking a chance for her to be seen as 'weak', it did make sense to Minamo. Yukari's usual response to such situations were always of the childish variety, only knowing how to show apathy or anger towards any such attempts to understand her better, just as she had done both now and back in college when the topic of her abandoned hobby had been first presented.

_I guess she just doesn't want to deal with any of sort of past failures, since she's stuck being an English teacher instead of writing books. But..._

Minamo looked back at her friend, furrowing her brow.

_...you didn't fail at it. You just quit. You never even tried, and that's what I don't understand. You could have easily just kept on writing, but you just stopped completely for no reason._

What Minamo wanted to do at that moment was to engage in a good chat with her friend, to try and find out why exactly she had let go of her high school passion, but the urge to do so quickly left her. She didn't want to prod at her friend any more than she already had, Yukari possessed with a brooding appearance now, but in addition to that, she just didn't feel like she had any real right to do so. Her friend had undoubtedly been carrying this issue with her for years, keeping it within herself, and the fact that Minamo didn't know about it, being her best friend and all, made her feel awful. Even though the woman was acting a bit juvenile about it, she still felt as if she had let her down somehow, like she was always supposed to know what was on her friend's mind since she of all people understood her the best.

Minamo frowned, on the verge of just letting the whole thing go. What was making her feel worse now, on top of not knowing about her friend's internal troubles, was that she had probably skewed Yukari's whole day as well. All the woman had wanted to do was just relax and play her games in peace, and being reminded about a trashed dream hadn't exactly given her that.

_Geez, I even made her do some chores today..._

She looked around the room then, taking in how sparkling everything looked now, all because she had just told Yukari to organize and clean it all.

_But...she did listen to me still, even if she didn't want to do it. So, maybe..._

A streak of hope went through her then, convincing her of something.

…_maybe I should just approach this from a different angle, instead of just asking her why she stopped writing. I should try anyways...I just won't push it too much._

"Hey..." She waved the notebook around in her hand. "So...I kind of have a fun idea. Want to hear it?"

Yukari ignored her.

"I was thinking…um, why don't you try writing something again? You know, like with your time off, you could. There's nothing wrong with you gaming like this, but it's just...I mean…you never advise a club or anything, so you could put all that free time towards something that's kinda' both fun and productive…?"

The woman watched something on the screen for a minute before answering. "Why you gotta' come over here and bug me today? I didn't ask you to."

"I'm not trying to bug you. It's j-"

"_Yeah you are, so leave me alone or go the hell home already._"

Minamo bit her lip, bracing herself against Yukari's yelling and feeling genuinely hurt from it. "Hey...I..."

She stopped short with her words, Yukari appearing as if she _really _didn't want to talk any more, and then gazed down at the book in her hands. She didn't think her friend would be _this_ angry about it all, but apparently there was a lot more to this whole issue that wasn't being brought up to the surface, Minamo now realizing that these notebooks were of a much bigger deal to the woman than she had initially thought. Her friend's giant shift in emotions today made that quite clear, and even though that was somewhat of a normal thing to happen to Yukari, Minamo could feel that something was different about this particular occasion. Her anger this time felt more like a wall than an attack, sheltering something behind it in much the same way as her entertainment stand had, hiding those notebooks for however long they had been back there.

_Why do I keep on pushing things like this...?_

Her eyes drifted down, Minamo wondering why she had always tried so hard to know whatever was eating at her friend. She wasn't sure if she was overdoing things or not, but, to Minamo, it just always felt as if it were her own responsibility to personally attend to Yukari's dilemmas, no matter how big or small that they might be. Even if they were best friends, she had never really been under any true obligation to deal with them all, but had always continued to do so anyways, because if she didn't...

The resoluteness that had filled her a minute ago raced back in.

…_then no one else would._

Minamo looked up at her friend again, moving closer to her as she toned her voice to sound as kind as it could be. "Hey, I'm sorry for prying. I'll leave it alone now. But Yukari, it's just...sometimes when I see you just sitting here, I sort of wonder what else you could be doing, you know?" She sighed. "Yukari...do you know why I'm always telling you to get your act together? Because I really think that you could make a lot more out of yourself if you just took life a bit more seriously. Like with these." She tapped the notebook. "When I see things like this, I just think that, if you really applied yourself, you could really do some amazing stuff. I mean, you can write a good story, you learned another language, and that's with you not even trying that hard."

No answer.

"…I mean, that's why I always fight with you when it comes to just taking care of simple things like cleaning your room." She waved an arm around. "I know you don't like doing it, but see how nice everything looks now? It just starts with things like that, becoming more professional about things I mean. Now imagine how good it would feel if you applied all that ethic into something like…writing a book. Yeah! Think about that! I mean, who knows where it would go off to? Even if you just do it as a hobby, who knows, don't a lot of writers start out like that? You never know, someone out there could really like it and then you could even sell something! Maybe even become famous! Wouldn't that be awesome? Yeah?"

It was barely noticeable, but she saw her friend's posture soften just a bit.

Minamo smiled, gently pushing her friend's shoulder. "Yeah! See, it would be, wouldn't it? That's what I think! So...anyways, Yukari, I just figure that, if you can just get the rest of your life together, just stuff like even doing some cleaning, then you'll feel a bit more confident and happy about everything, you know?" Her hand pointed towards the notebook. "And you'll get some pride back in yourself, so you can start doing things like this again."

Some extra inflection had been placed in her last words, but her efforts seemed for naught, Minamo feeling like she was losing her friend's attention again since that previous rock-like expression of hers had returned.

_What is wrong with you? You're usually so crazy about hearing people say nice things about you..._

"Alright, alright. Look, I'll stop bothering you about it. It's just...I really mean this when I say it, Yukari. I'm not trying to patronize you or anything, but I really feel..." She paused for a few moments, thinking of how to word what she wanted to say next. "I really do think that you write well, and I think that you could really make something more out of yourself if you picked it up again. I mean...I know my opinion might not mean much since I'm not an expert on this stuff or anything, and, yeah, you know me, sad endings aren't really my thing. But..."

She took one last look at the notebook in her hands.

"...it's just...I don't know. It's like...when you're the one who writes it, like, the way that you do, then, I don't know...I just find that I can fall in love with it somehow anyways."

A set of screams suddenly came from the television, Minamo flinging her head towards it.

"Ah, shit. I gotta' reload from the last town now."

Her friend's break of silence surprised her, Minamo returning her attention back to Yukari, and, upon looking at her once more, felt the biggest of grins spread across her face.

_Whoa!_

Minamo hadn't seen it when it had actually happened, but the stoic, rigid face that Yukari had put on for the last while had finally cracked. Her lips were set about in this crooked sort of fashion now, the pupils of her eyes quivering just a touch as they tried to stay focused on the screen in front them.

_Oh my gosh...she's actually embarrassed!_

It was a rare sight to see, Yukari actually looking genuinely abashed, but Minamo's encouraging words had accomplished the feat. The stubborn, uncaring demeanor that the woman had been putting up had finally been broken through, and the skittishness that had now taken a hold of her was filling Minamo with glee. There was just this certain kind of joy to be experienced when seeing someone of Yukari's make fidget around as she was doing now, looking downright adorable as she attempted to remain in control of herself, to try and keep her pride in its usual lofty place.

But more than that, it was the fact of knowing that her little speech had meant something to Yukari, that the woman might actually even be considering the advice of taking up her old hobby again, that was truly delighting Minamo now.

_She always listens to me...she always does._

She put a hand on her friend's head, messing with her hair as she playfully petted it. Yukari never really liked people coming into close physical contact with her, so the gesture was essentially their form of a hug, Minamo just letting the woman know that there was never any bad blood between them, no matter how upset that they could get at each other. To some degree, it was almost the same way in which someone might show affection towards a pet animal, rubbing them with a hand to show their approval or affection for them.

_An animal..._

Minamo took in her friend for a moment, examining what that thought meant to her.

_What's this remind of me? It's kind of like..._

Her musing went on, Minamo trying to figure out the context between herself and Yukari at the moment. Whenever she considered the dynamics of their relationship as a whole, she would often place her friend into the role of some kind of wild beast, Yukari's unpredictable nature and ferocious personality having the ability to frighten just about anyone out there. Her face really could become so savage at times, so fiery whenever she got worked up, and even her hair itself added to that primal image, her brown waves flowing about as if they were attached to the proud head of a lion.

Minamo smirked.

_That's what it is! Exactly like that! That's what you always remind me of..._

She held in some laughter, not wanting to perturb her friend. At the end of everything, that's really what Yukari Tanizaki was to her, an indomitable lion that roared and fought with whoever and whatever in order to get her way, her arrogance and volatility able to tear through even the most patient of defenses. And much like any wild beast, she was incredibly tough to coexist with on any level, people around her always wary of what idiotic thing she would say next, how angry she could become, how bad she could snap. There was just always this sense of terror that one would experience from being near her, Yukari's mood docile and calm at one moment and then, in an instant, becoming turbulent for almost no reason as she lashed out at her nearest prey.

Yet, despite all that, of how feral the woman could be, Minamo was still right there next to her, sitting down in the middle of her den with no real fear of what she could do. She had been scratched before of course, suffered some minor injuries during the time that she had known her, but a little spilt blood here and there was to be expected when trying to tame someone of Yukari's breed.

_Tame..._

Her smile widened, an idea coming to her.

_Let's see...let's see if she'll bite..._

Minamo moved closer to Yukari, sitting right beside her now. While her hand was still messing with her friend's hair, her fingers began to slightly pull on long bunches of it, wrapping the smooth brown strands around them. She played with it all then, running her fingers softly through it, straightening all the giant tangles out since it looked as if Yukari hadn't attended to it for a few days.

All the while she watched her friend closely, waiting for a reaction, to see if she would overstep some hidden boundary, waiting, waiting...

...and...nothing.

Minamo relaxed herself down on the floor, continuing on with her coy little game. If Yukari didn't even enjoy being hugged by others, then she figured that the woman would absolutely _kill_ anyone who ever touched her hair in the way that she was doing so now, Minamo never having attempted anything like this with her before. But her friend just didn't seem to care about her personal space being violated, her attention glued to the screen as her flustered expression melted back into its regular state.

_It's true...it really is true. I'm the only one who you'll ever listen to, that can do something like this with you..._

With every twist of Yukari's hair, Minamo felt a palpation go through her chest, an old excitement that was tingling to life once again as she began to feel so connected to her friend, so in tune with her. Not even Yukari's old boyfriends had managed to pull off a stunt like she was doing at the moment, and for some reason, the knowledge of that fact sent chills racing up her spine.

_...you'd never really hurt me. You'd never bite my hand for real, maybe others, but never mine, because I'm the only one that you trust. Only me, only me..._

Her breathing picked up, and without realizing what she was doing, she brought a thick strand of Yukari's hair towards her face.

_And I trust you...because I know you. I can tame you. No one else can, only me, only me...because you're..._

She smelled it.

_...my lion._


	13. Part I Chapter 13

**Author's Notes**

Hi!

FF is disabling links in profiles for the moment, so what I'm doing is putting the chapter pics at the bottom of the chapter now, since I've been enlightened that if I just break up the link with spaces, then the website filter won't apply :) It's a bit inconvenient though, so apologies.

Thanks for the nice comments and stuff by the way :) They really make this fun to write and paint.

~Mendhi

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything related to Azumanga Daioh. Don't sue me bro!

* * *

Part I

Chapter 13

Minamo stepped out of the faculty workroom, passing by a few students as they walked down the hallway towards their next class.

_Maybe she's avoiding me?_

She glanced at her watch, checking how much time was left in the break. It was another day at work for her, the hours rushing by as fast as the kids around her were, yet one small part of it had been off from the norm so far, or rather, had been missing.

_I guess that's it, then. She's always like this today..._

Although things had been relatively peaceful without hearing Yukari's usual raucous banter, Minamo was starting to feel a bit lonely without it all, not having seen her fellow teacher at all today. When she had gone to pick her up in the morning for work, Yukari's mother had answered the buzzer and informed her that, for some odd reason, her daughter had already left on her bike instead of waiting around for her usual free ride. Ms. Tanizaki hadn't any clue as to why the woman had left by herself so early, but Minamo had a decent idea as to what she might have been up to.

She traveled down the stairs to the next level of the school building, sighing as she did. Today was a bit of a special occasion for Minamo, one that Yukari usually enjoyed along with her, barring a few minor aspects of it. There were some details of it all that the woman had never really been able to cope with throughout the time that they had known each other, and so instead of dealing with them as how any another adult would, she usually just opted to avoid Minamo and the entire situation until they were both off the job, their workplace itself being the crux of the issue.

_I never try to make you feel bad about it…_

Her classroom was in front of her now, Minamo sliding the door open and then walking inside.

…_but what am I supposed to do? It jus-_

"_Happy Birthday, Kurosawa-sensei!"_

Minamo lost her place in her thoughts, smiled widely as her students loudly greeted her in unison. "Th-thanks guys!" She laughed. "But…you didn't have to do that…"

She set her things down on the instructor's table at the head of the room, a few of the kids now coming up to her with a gift that she graciously took. Minamo had turned twenty-eight today, and somehow the date of her birthday had gotten out to every single one of her classes so far, each set of students presenting her with encouraging words and a little present. While it was certainly normal for a teacher to receive such kind gestures from their pupils, the vast majority of the time it was their own homeroom class that did so. In Minamo's case, however, every single one of her P.E. periods so far had been in a celebratory mood for her, a yearly routine that she had grown used to as the young boys and girls displayed their affections for the person who was arguably the most popular teacher on campus.

For the next few minutes Minamo returned each of her student's individual remarks to her, thanking them for remembering her birthday, and couldn't help but giggle and hum with joy throughout the rest of the class since yet another group of her students had shown their love for her today. The acclaim that she had received from all of them, from the kids that she always cared about so much, was filling her with a level of happiness that was intoxicating, an elation that made it hard to step into the flow of her usual composed demeanor.

The rest of the school day saw the same events repeat themselves over and over then, Minamo now sitting at her office desk after her last class had let out. A stack of gifts and cards were before, but she didn't get a chance to attend to any of them since some of the other teachers in the room were now coming by to offer their good wishes as well. They too always remembered when Kurosawa-sensei's birthday was, her fellow coworkers wanting to show their appreciation for the person who always took her job so seriously, who always helped them out with both work-related and personal dilemmas whenever they cropped up. Her favor with them matched the levels shown by her students, and even though Minamo's popularity on campus had been quite high since she had started working at her old school, none of that had ever affected her personality in the slightest. Her sparkling reputation had never become corroded with any taint of narcissism or inflated pride, and that ability of hers to stay humble was what everyone loved the most about her, Minamo being someone who always put others ahead of herself and never asked for anything in return.

She smiled gleefully at each teacher as they spoke with her, displaying the same amount of modesty and chagrin to them as she had shown towards her student's all day, but once the last set of genial exchanges had been made, Minamo couldn't help but feel the smallest of tugs come from inside of her chest.

_Where are you…?_

She looked around the office, searching for the one person she knew that hadn't yet acknowledged her special day, whose voice was the only one that she had wanted to hear say those two little words that had been spoken to her so many times already.

Her gaze went back to the table, Minamo looking over all the items that she had received. While she did love every single one of them, so grateful for all the sentiments that had been shown towards her, it all felt a bit hollow now since Yukari hadn't been a part of any of it. Usually the woman would always be so easy to find in the workroom, sitting down lazily as she made the most out of her break times, but on this day, whenever Minamo had come by to try and find her, her fellow teacher's seat had been distressingly empty.

_It really is because of my birthday, isn't it?_

She frowned, thinking back to the years gone by, Yukari always pulling the same stunt on her. It wasn't that her friend didn't enjoy other people's birthdays, but rather, she just couldn't stand seeing Minamo getting so much attention about her own at work, Yukari never really receiving the same sort of treatment for her own birthday. Part of that had to do with the date of it occurring over spring break, denying her classes the opportunity to commemorate it, but what made her truly upset about it all was that even if it _was_ held on a normal school day, she more than felt that no one would still really care all that much anyways. Yukari's brash personality didn't exactly win people over, so more often than not she would become incredibly bitter when others around her were the recipients of good tidings that she herself never got. Her absence on this day then, as Minamo had always figured on past occasions, was more than likely the woman's own way of protecting her ego from all the love that her friend would be showered with.

And while Minamo could certainly understand her predicament, knowing how bad she'd feel if her own birthday was neglected, she still wished that Yukari could somehow get over it all and just be right there next to her anyways, to share in her happiness as she too wished her a…

"What's all that crap on your desk?"

Minamo jumped in her seat, quickly zoning back in from her daydreaming as she turned around. "Y-Yukari! Where have you been all day?"

The woman threw herself at her desk, plopping down into her chair ungracefully. "I been busy. So, what's all that junk?"

She looked back towards her birthday gifts, her words dropping in volume as she spoke now, not wanting to set off Yukari's wrath if she sounded too enthusiastic about it all. "...they're presents."

Yukari grimaced. "You buyin' off your kids or somethin'?"

Minamo laughed weakly. "No…they got them for my birthday today."

Her voice had become even more quiet, and she closed her eyes as she braced herself for what Yukari would now say to her, of how stupid it was for her kids to show her, a dumb P.E. teacher, such heartwarming regards, of how such feelings were nothing more than cheap, worthless drivel.

"Oh yeah?"

Minamo looked at her in surprise, Yukari's words actually having been strung together with some threads of kindness. The woman was just staring at some of the papers on her desk, marking off a few things here and there with a pen. "Y-yeah…"

A few minutes passed, Yukari not saying anything in reply, and Minamo just sat there waiting patiently, not at all sure on what to do or say given the unexpected behavior of her friend. She was positive, however, on what she wanted _Yukari _to say to her now, of what she had been waiting for her to say all day in order to make her birthday a fully complete one.

_I know it's not a big deal to you, but…why can't you say it now, too? Please…_

Yukari eventually rested the pen down on her desk as she finished with some task, looking at Minamo square in the eye afterward. "So you think I forgot about it or what?"

"Wh-what…?" She fidgeted around, having been unprepared for her friend's blunt question. "N-no! No…I…well, maybe…I don't know. It doesn't matter, anyways. It's just a birthday…"

"You say that every year." Yukari laughed. "But I saw you smilin' at all that." She pointed towards the plethora of gifts.

"Well, yeah…I'm happy that I got them..."

Yukari laughed again, and there was this friendliness in it that was so uncharacteristic of her to have in this situation, where normally she would be bristling with envy. "You don't sound too happy." She scooted over next to her then, jutting her face out to the point at where their noses almost touched. "I know, you want me to say somethin', right?"

Minamo's head recoiled out of reflex. "Say…say what?"

Her friend leaned back, just eying her now. "Don't play dumb, Nyamo. I know ya' too well, ya' sap."

She put on a confused look towards her friend, but it was a false expression, Minamo knowing perfectly well what Yukari was talking about. It was hard for her to reply in any sort of logical fashion though, the woman's behavior so completely foreign to her now.

Yukari laughed heartily, becoming quite amused at Minamo's reservedness. "Man, you are so easy to read. Well...listen, forget about that for sec', 'cause I got this problem that you gotta' help me out with first."

"What problem?"

Her friend folded her arms across her chest, putting on a jaded look. "So...like, I brought this thing with me today, that I gotta' give to someone. It's really nice, freakin' awesome really, but I just realized that I left it back in my locker. You think you can go get it fer' me quick? I gotta' finish this stuff up." She pointed to the unfinished work on her desk. "Oh, and I left it unlocked, so you can just open it."

Goosebumps prickled up on her arms. "Umm…ok…but, what am I looking for?"

Yukari smiled as she turned back to her desk, picking up her pen again as she resumed her duties. "I dunnooooooooo'…."

"Well…ok, I'll go get it. But…Yu-"

The woman stood up suddenly, pulling Minamo along with her, and then started to shove her out of the faculty room. "Just go get it already!"

"Y-Yukari!" Minamo stumbled out into the hallway, looking back at her friend as she stood in the door. "I…I ju-"

The woman waved her arms around. "Hurry and go get it! Get goin', shoo', shoo'!" She turned around, returning to her desk. "Ya' better like it, by the way."

Minamo stared blankly at her for a few seconds, standing perfectly still, until a jolt of excitement reanimated her. "O-ok! I'm going, I'm going!"

Without any further hesitation she took off, her feet flying as she raced towards her destination, to the room that held the faculty's lockers. It was an area where instructors could store any personal belongings when they arrived on campus, and apparently Yukari had chosen to house something there that was definitely _not_ a part of her usual inventory.

_I can't believe it! I really can't!_

Although her friend hadn't directly alluded to it, it was more than obvious to Minamo that Yukari had actually brought a present for her birthday today. The woman had gotten her gifts for it every year of course, but she had never handed one to her during their work hours. Her pride usually deterred her from doing so, not wanting to fan the flames of all the adulation that Minamo got from everyone else here, but for some reason it appeared as if she had finally been able to drop that old habit of hers.

_What happened? She's so...nice to me this time._

Yukari's motivations were always hard to fathom, even for someone as close to her as Minamo, but her friend's change of heart wasn't really all that important to her at the moment. She was much too excited to funnel her energies towards anything else but her own legs now, her anticipation for opening Yukari's gift pushing all other concerns aside.

She looked down at her watch along the way, grinning at it wildly as her imagination began to get the best of her.

_I wonder if she got me something like this again..._

Minamo shook her head, knowing that was highly unlikely, the expensive gift that Yukari had gotten her earlier in the year something that was a onetime event, but some of the similarities between that occasion and the current one were far too hard to ignore. Since her friend had taken her bike to work today, there was a possibility that she had planned to go buy something for her during it so that Minamo couldn't see what she was getting, just as she had done for their little friendship anniversary.

_Well…whatever it is, I'll love it. I know I will, because you're the one getting it for me, and that's all that really matters…_

Within another minute she reached the locker room, the door already open as she took a quick peek inside. The place was empty, not another teacher in sight, and that suited Minamo just fine. She didn't need for them to see how she was acting now, her usual cool demeanor having been trampled over by the bubbly personality that had claimed her. Giggles came out from her incessantly, her steps so lively and cheerful as she made her way over to Yukari's locker, Minamo becoming completely enraptured with the thought that she had been on her friend's mind this day.

_Maybe she's finally changing, after all this time. She's starting to listen to me a lot more now, so I think that…I think that, maybe, she's finally growing up!_

She chuckled at the notion, the idea of a mature, caring Yukari something that no one could probably really imagine all that well. But, given how her friend had been acting as of late, Minamo was starting to truly believe that such a metamorphosis was possible for the woman, knowing firsthand of how considerate Yukari _could _be when she managed to overcome her gigantic ego.

Her friend's locker was before her now, Minamo grabbing the handle and pulling it open, and became a bit dismayed when she saw nothing inside of it.

"Huh?"

She closed the door, looking at the front of it. The usual scribbles and etchings were plastered across it, Yukari having carved angry-looking faces and 'Stay Out!' messages to mark her territory, so Minamo knew that she had opened the right one. Another glance inside of it, however, tried to tell her otherwise. Yukari's locker was usually stuffed with clothes and books, all of it gone now for some reason, and Minamo was beginning to wonder if someone else had come by and emptied it out since it had been left unlocked.

_But she just told me about this a few minutes ago, so there's no way that could have happened._

Minamo sighed, disappointed that her journey here had turned out to be an unfruitful one, and was just about to head back up to the workroom when she barely noticed something in one of the darkened corners of the locker.

She stuck a hand inside, pulling out a folded piece of paper, smiling as she read the writing on top.

_For: Nyamo!  
From: Me!_

Her spirits picked up again, Minamo feeling that wonderful joy rush back into her. _Oh my gosh…maybe…she actually wrote something for me? A poem? A story? Yukari…_

She unfolded the paper quickly, so excited to see what her friend had drafted, the very idea of Yukari actually _creating_ something for her just so utterly thrilling to even think about, let alone actually behold.

_She really is changing…she's writing again! Oh, Yukar-_

Her heart froze.

_Wh-…what the hell…?_

Minamo had only read the first few words at the top of the page, but that was all it had taken for her to instantly recognize what she was holding in her hands, all that had been needed for her to feel the greatest amount of panic that she had ever experienced in her life.

_W-why…why does she have this...? I…I b-_

"So watcha' think? Ya' like it?"

She gasped in alarm at the voice that had come from behind, but the fright that had taken control of her kept her head chained towards the item in her hands, Minamo unable to turn around and see Yukari as she entered the room. All she could do was listen to the woman's actions as they echoed so loudly in the locker room, Yukari shutting the door and then walking up to where she stood, peeking over her shoulder as she looked down at the piece of paper along with her. "That's what ya' wanted, right? You seemed to want it pretty bad."

Minamo tried to reply, but her words failed to come out, the paper in her hands completely tearing her focus apart.

"Come on now, show me yer' happy about this, yeah? Where's my 'thank you'?"

She swallowed hard, her voice barely audible. "How…did you get this…?"

Yukari laughed. "Don't ya' remember? Ya' know how I did."

"But...but..."

"What's wrong? You look kinda' out of it. Dontcha' like your present? I remember ya' kept asking for it, so, that's why I got it for ya'!"

"I…"

"Ain't it great, Nyamo? Come on, start smilin'! How come ya don't like my present, huh? Huh, Nyamo?"

Minamo tried to respond again, but her mind just couldn't grasp the words that were being spoken to her. It had become numb now, not able to really feel the sense of what was going on around her, of what was happening.

Yukari chuckled lightly. "What's wrong, Nyamo? Don't ya' trust me?"

Her eyes widened, her breaths beginning to flow out so forcefully now, sweat dripping down her forehead as a rabid pack of fears began to consume her. "...what?"

"It's a simple question. Do ya' trust me?"

She couldn't answer.

"Nyamooo..."

"...please, stop."

"Why?"

"Just...stop it..."

"Why?"

"I...I didn't mean to..."

"What's that, now?

The crinkling sound of the paper filled the air, Minamo's hands holding on to it so tightly now as her voice began to break up. "I didn't want to do it. I really mean it…I didn't…"

Yukari spoke with an enormous amount of sudden kindness. "Hey, Minamo…it's ok! Relax! You wouldn't do somethin' like that to me anyways, 'cause we're friends and all, right?"

The woman's shift in tone calmed her. "Y-yeah…yeah, we are…"

"Best friends?"

Minamo smiled, starting to regain control of her sanity. "Yeah…! We are!"

Yukari nodded. "That's right. We are! So ya' know what that means, then, Minamo? 'cause we're bestest' pals and all that?"

The terror that had taken hold of her started to retreat upon itself, Yukari sounding so endearing now, so considerate, that Minamo began to forget all about the piece of paper in her hands, finally turning around in order to properly address her old friend. "N-no...what's it m-"

Her words were cut short as she felt the fingers come around her neck.

"It means that you shouldn't lie to me."

Minamo cried in pain as Yukari slammed her against the lockers viciously, her hands set like steel around her throat as she began to choke her. "Yu-…ack…"

"Why'd ya' do it? I told ya' not to, but ya' still did it anyways."

"N-no…ngh…I…!" She struggled against the woman's hold on her, unable to pry herself free.

"I believed ya'."

"S-…I'm…-ryy…"

"I really did."

"…-orry…pleas-…"

Yukari throttled her with even more aggression, Minamo now frantically gasping for air, her vision blurring as the intensity of the assault started to take its toll upon her body. "Good ol' Minamo. Good ol' honest Minamo."

The woman laughed wickedly at her, a venom in it that paralyzed every fiber in her body.

"What a joke."

Minamo's strength was leaving her now, her legs starting to give way underneath. _"I-…so-...so-rry…pleas-...ple-...-ukari..."_

"Do you want me to say it still?" Yukari laughed again. "It's your special day, after all."

A sick taste entered her mouth.

"Yeah? I know ya' do, Minamo, 'cause I know ya' better than anyone else, ol' pal' of mine."

The woman continued to laugh as she kept her death grip on her neck, and all that Minamo could do was stare up at her in vain as she collapsed to her knees, her crimson life peppering Yukari's skirt when she began to cough weakly, the warm taste of the blood that had come rushing out from her mouth beyond nauseating, beyond disgusting.

And as the final fragments of her consciousness began to fade away, she started to experience the strangest of sensations, this feeling as if she were underwater now, drowning helplessly amongst the waves.

Yukari looked down at her, grinning madly.

"Happy Birthday, you fucking liar."

* * *

"_Gah!"_

Her head snapped up, the dim lighting of a television screen splashing across her face, Minamo gulping in the air around her.

_I'm…! W-what?_

She looked around as she got her bearings straight, perspiration stinging her eyes, and her erratic breaths calmed down when she took notice of the floor table in front of her, the books and papers on it scattered about since her head had been laying upon it all.

_That's right…I came over to Yukari's today. I must have dozed off after I started working aga-_

She put a hand to the side of her jaw, feeling something wet run down it, and then swiveled her neck abruptly as she felt an odd tingling inside of her ear, shaking out what appeared to be a water from it as liquid drops landed upon the table. "What the hell...?"

"Hey, you woke up!"

Minamo turned around, looking up at Yukari as the woman smiled stupidly at her, a glass of water in her hand. "Yukari? What…are you doing?"

"Did you dream that you were drowning?"

Her body stiffened. "How did…?"

The woman chuckled. "Ah, my hypothesis was correct then, doctor!"

"Yukari...what in the world are you talking about?"

Yukari placed her free hand on her hip, her face brimming with cockiness. "Well, you were sleepin' for awhile, so I wanted to wake you up 'cause I wanna' go get some food, right? Then I had this idea that I've always wanted to try, like…" She shook the glass. "If I made you feel something on the outside, then, would it like, effect your dreams and stuff, ya' know? So I pu-"

"_Are you insane?"_

Yukari backed up in alarm, Minamo yelling loudly as she jumped to her feet. "H-hey! It…it was for scienc-"

"_Why do you always do idiotic things like this? Is it funny to you? Do you know how dangerous it is to go around doing stuff like that to people when they're asleep?"_

The woman frowned, completely caught off guard by her friend's frightening change in attitude. "Yeah…I mean, no! Geez, damn, sorry, come on…"

_"Never do that again! Never, never, do that again!"_

"Ok, ok, ok!" Yukari put her hands up defensively, water spilling out from the glass. "I'm sorry! Holy shit!"

Minamo ground her teeth together, her anger still wanting to explode against her friend, but she somehow got control of herself when she saw that Yukari was actually looking genuinely apologetic. She took a deep breath, letting her vexations out. "Think about what you're doing next time before you do it, ok?"

Yukari nodded sadly. "Yeah…yeah…sorry…"

The woman hung her head down, a distraught expression on her face, and Minamo couldn't help but feel a little guilty for having raised her voice against her. "Yeah, don't worry about it, ok?" She took a quick glance at Yukari's work desk, a table clock on it informing her that it was almost three in the afternoon now. _Wow…I've been out for a few hours._

_*growl*_

_...and no wonder I'm starving. I haven't really eaten anything all day. _"You said you were hungry, Yukari?"

"Um, yeah..."

Minamo rubbed her eyes, getting the last bits of drowsiness out. "Ok…let's go out and get something to eat, then. You pick where you want to go, and I'll buy since you let me spend the day here. How's that sound?"

Yukari raised her head, staring at her in what looked like disbelief, and then shot her arms up in joy as her somber mood quickly morphed into sheer happiness, more water flying about. "_Awright'! __Yeah!_ Nyamo's buyin' today!"

She rolled her eyes, her friend making it sound as if it was the first time that she was being treated out by her."Ok, ok…so, get ready, then. I'm going to go wash up."

The woman didn't really seem to hear her, Yukari just running around her room ecstatically now, the thoughts of whatever flavor and ethnicity of food that she would soon be devouring completely filling up her tiny mind.

Minamo smiled at her as she left the room, the never ending fluctuation of her friend's emotional condition always entertaining to watch. _She really is a little kid…_

A bathroom was just outside in the hallway, so it only took Minamo a few seconds to reach it, locking the door behind her as she took a look at herself in the mirror. Since most of her hair was cut short, there weren't really any frayed strands to adjust after having slept with her face planted on a table for a good while, and so all she really had to do was splash some water on her face in order to refresh her entire appearance. A few tugs on her long-sleeved shirt took out some creases, and in a few minutes Minamo looked as if she had been wide awake for the entire day.

She took an overall glance at herself then, satisfied with it now, but then became a bit frustrated as the smile she had put on slowly broke down in the reflection.

_Why did I get so mad at her? Was it because of that dream?_

Her hands placed themselves on the bathroom counter, Minamo leaning her weight forward as she stared down at the sink, the nightmare that had invaded her slumber bringing itself back into her thoughts. Even though she felt that Yukari's antics with the glass of water were incredibly stupid, Minamo knew that her reaction to it all had been heavily influenced by what had gone on in her consciousness just before she had woken up. She couldn't exactly recall every detail of what happened, a good chunk of her dream having already dissipated from her memory, but the fear that had enveloped her during it was still quite tangible, her shouts against Yukari having been fueled by how badly it had rattled her nerves.

_It must have been all those murder stories of hers that I read today. That's got to be it. Geez, Minamo, it was a just a dream! Come on! You let it get the best of you and then you got mad at her..._

She sighed, not at all happy with herself for how she had acted, but the late-lunch that she would soon be buying for Yukari would act as a bit of consolation at the very least, her own way of apologizing to her. Getting angry at others wasn't something that she enjoyed doing, even if the recipient deserved it, so anything that Minamo could do in order to make up for any such outbursts usually alleviated her conscience. Her friend, thankfully, was generally easy to make up to, any sort of tasty delicacy more than enough to earn her favor once again.

_Taste..._

Her tongue scraped itself against her teeth.

_Again...it happened again..._

A shiver ran through her then, Minamo cringing as she remembered the final moments of her brutal dream, the horrible taste of the blood that had filled her mouth being the part that she could most vividly recall. While blood itself was something that never really phased her, Minamo quite used to seeing and dealing with it on a constant basis given her athletic lot in life, the flavor of it was another matter entirely. She absolutely could _not_ stand how warm it was for some reason, its placidity always sickening her whenever she happened to suffer some injury to the inside of her mouth, and her hatred of it had even leaked over into her choices of food and drink. If her coffee was too tepid, the temperature of a meal too moderate, it would instantly remind her of that awful, languid texture of blood, and she would spit it out immediately.

What was even more unappealing about it all, though, was that her phobia of it had always been a somewhat consistent visitor to her dreams. Today was hardly the first time that her mind had played out the scene of her spilling her life out, Minamo now thinking back to several occasions in the past where similar such nightmares had come to haunt her. They all usually started out differently, but the particular way in which they ended was the common denominator between them all, when that terrible taste would enter into it...

"Blech!"

Minamo grimaced, shaking her head to rid herself of the lingering remains of the nightmare, and then grabbed the handle of the door as she prepared to leave, stopping just short of opening it.

_...what are you thinking of now? Forget it. You're such an idiot, Minamo._

She stood there for a minute, her posture frozen as she began to argue with some other part of herself.

_That's not true._

_They do love me! Why would they lie? Everyone of them really does._

_Everyone..._

_And I'm always honest! I have to be...because that's who I am._

_That's all I know how to be._

_...I'd never do that to anyone...never, never..._

_So shut up already._

Minamo buried it, finally leaving the bathroom as she went back to rejoin her closest friend in the world.

* * *

www. blue-suns warmth/chapter13/chapter13. jpg


	14. Part I Chapter 14

**Author's Notes**

Hello!

No pic for this one at the moment :( I'll catch up on them though!

~Mendhi

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything related to Azumanga Daioh. Don't sue me bro!

* * *

Part I

Chapter 14

Minamo removed the wrapping paper from the small box, carefully tearing it open.

"So yeah, Happy Birthday, or whateveerrrrrr..."

She looked over beside her, Yukari slumping down in the passenger seat of her car, and then smiled. "Thanks, Yukari."

The woman grinned stupidly, her eyes barely able to keep themselves open as she took another swig from the bottle of whiskey she held, placing it back into her lap when she had her fill. "Ayup', kiddo'…yeah, sho', you like it, that thing…?"

Minamo chuckled at her, Yukari's mannerisms much more comical than usual, thanks to both her friend's current level of intoxication and the buzz that she herself had going. "I do, but…" She opened the box, taking the contents out. "You know I haven't got that new phone yet, right?"

Yukari scrutinized the item in Minamo's hand, a slick leather phone case that she had just presented as a gift to her a minute ago. "A'so' what?"

"Well…it might not fit the model that I get…"

"Ya' welcome, ya' welcome! Dun' ya' worry yo'self about it." Yukari leaned over and slapped her shoulder heartily. "It goes on da' phone, you understands'? Yeah, ya' didn't know dat', but dash' ok."

Minamo laughed, her friend sounding so completely out of it now, and then threw her gift upon the dashboard as she leaned back into her sat, her gaze now watching the night sky through the front window of her car.

_That was fun…that was really fun, you guys._

Her laughter continued on, all of it coming out so easily thanks to the alcohol that she had consumed earlier, when she and Yukari had gone out with some of their old friends to celebrate her birthday today. The schedule for the occasion had been a fairly simple one, the group taking her to a few shops for some gifts first before they all headed towards a fancy bar, partying away the rest of the Saturday night in style afterward.

And while it had been a belated occasion for her, Minamo's actual birthday having been the day before, that hadn't taken anything away from the wonderful time she had experienced tonight. It was an incredible rarity for all of her friends to get together like they had just done, everyone busy with their own lives now, and so a special event like a birthday was one of the only instances in which that could actually happen.

_I'm so glad that we all could go out today...that's the only real present I ever want, to just see you all..._

The good times had come to their eventual end though, and after everyone had parted ways, she and Yukari had walked back to her apartment together, or rather, had staggered there. They both had done their fair share of drinking tonight, Yukari going overboard as she usually did, and now, in the middle of the night, found themselves resting lazily in the interior of Minamo's car.

"Yukari…I don't think I should drive you home right now. I-…I'm kind of out of it still. You can just spend the night here, ok?"

The woman shook her head. "Lady…we gonna' be fine, 'cause the horse, the horse dat' pulls dis' wagon…it knows the way home."

Minamo cracked up again, everything that Yukari was saying sounding so hilarious. "Where do you think you are? In some American movie?"

Yukari looked out the window, eying the surroundings outside. "I'm in da' place...where da' dreams are made."

"What dreams? What are you talking about?"

"Nyamo, it's too much for ya' ta' understand right nows'." She leaned over to her, pointing the bottle of liquor in her face. "Tomorrows' we ride...and we'll robs' dat' mornin' train, for the monies, you schee'? Then wesh' take it all, and gud'dammit', we gonna' schave' dat' orphanage and dose' ugly kids..."

Yukari was starting to buckle over now, her balance wavering, so Minamo gently rested her friend back into her own seat, the woman now closing her eyes as she fell into sleep.

_Geez...you're too much._

She watched Yukari rest for a bit before looking back at the black phone case that she had received from her as a present tonight. Earlier in the week she had mentioned one of the possible gifts that she would be getting on the weekend, and so her friend seemed to have figured that a nice cover would make a great birthday gift along with it. Yukari always had trouble showing the generous side of herself though, so the woman appeared to have put off the presentation of her own gift until they were both alone, without the crowd of their friends around to mushy up the moment.

_Or you just waited until you were drunk enough to not care about it..._

Minamo smiled. Her friend was always so inexperienced when it came to sentimental occasions, and while the gift that she had gotten her was a bit of a premature one, that really didn't matter to her at all. The warm feelings that Yukari had shown towards her today were better than any material item out there, and she couldn't ask for a better way to end her birthday celebration than by having her closest friend sitting right there beside her for it.

_I wish you could be with me tomorrow, too. I could really use you around…_

She sighed. Even though her day had been nothing short of fantastic, in the very back of her mind all the while had been a small, nagging little voice, one that she hadn't been able to fully suppress for the entirety of the past week. It kept whispering to her of a coming encounter that she would soon have to engage in, one in which that she had been trying her best to ready herself for, but was still no where near as mentally prepared as she had hoped to have been.

Her head leaned back against the seat, Minamo staring at the roof of her car now. "Maybe I should say that I'm sick…"

"Wazzit'?"

She looked over at Yukari. The woman's eyes were still closed, but there was consciousness about her. "Oh…I thought you went to sleep."

"If I sleep, den' I can't..." Her friend put the bottle to her lips again, the liquid dripping out from the corners of her mouth.

"Quit it already. That's hard stuff for you." Her hand went to the drink, Minamo prying it away from the woman easily since Yukari's stupor had left her with no real grip. "You're gonna' puke in here."

Yukari turned her head towards her, eyes still shut. "Nyamo, das' not da' important issue here. You sound down now, ol' chum."

Minamo smiled, her friend's perception somehow not dulled from the booze. "Yeah…a little."

"Ish' my present, ain't it?" Yukari began to yell and weep at the same time. "_Well I tried, lady! Man, I really did!"_

"No, no, it's not that, Yukari." She patted her friend reassuringly. "It's just...something else that's been bothering me for a bit."

"Yeah?" The pouting instantly ceased. "What?"

"It's…I don't know how to really explain it. I'm just worrying about something."

"Well…" Yukari patted down the dashboard. "You jush' step intos' mah' office here, okidokies'? You tell ol' Doc' Tanizaki wash' wrong with your screwed up lifes'."

Minamo chuckled, taking no real offense from her friend's words as she considered them. Normally, the issue that was nibbling at her would be something that she would keep to herself, but the remaining traces of alcohol in her system were greasing her tongue. "…just let me think for a minute."

Yukari shrugged, her head leaning against the side window now as Minamo took her time.

"Ok...I have kind of a weird question for you, Yukari. Well, maybe not weird, just, personal."

"Lay it on mesh'."

"…do you have…anyone that you look up to?"

Her friend turned her head to her, brow furrowed. "Huh?"

"What I mean is…like...ah, I know. You know all those books and games of yours?"

"Sho', sho'."

"The characters in them, do you have a favorite one? Like...a favorite hero, or someone that you really admire?"

"Hmmmmmm..." Yukari's face contorted wildly, appearing to be spending an enormous amount of thought on the question. "Uhh…yeah…I guess. Like someone dat' I think is cools'?"

"Sort of. You know, like…maybe when you were younger, that you were kind of a fan of…like that you modeled yourself around…"

"Oh!" Yukari clapped her hands together. "Shit, yeah! I had lots of dem'…oh, damn, my favorite is dish' Valkyrie chick! Dash' like a bad ass angel I shoppose', in layman terms for yoush', Nyamo."

"That sounds cool. So, what do you like about her?"

"Well...esh' previously stated, shesh' totally bad ass. And shesh' smart as hell too, and she alwash' wins da' fights!" Her hands swung around, as if they were holding a sword. "Oh, and she damns' hots too!" She pointed a thumb at herself. "Jush' like me! In facts', I pretty much turned outs' jush' like hersh', now dat' I thinks' 'bout it."

Minamo held her tongue in check, not wanting to argue the obvious against her friend's claims, and just smiled at her warmly. "So you really like her, huh?"

"Dash' what I'm sayin', lady."

"Ok, well…imagine this for a second. Pretend that character was real, and when you got to meet them…" She sighed. "Maybe…maybe they don't end up really liking you in the same way?"

"Why da' hell wouldn't they? I'm aweshome'."

Minamo chuckled. "But…what if they didn't think that? Maybe that person that you really loved doesn't think much of you when they get to know you, or maybe just kind of looked down on you, like they were disappointed or something. How would that make you feel?"

Yukari frowned as she tried to digest the scenario, her face eventually becoming solemn. "Uh…damn. Guesh' I'd feel like shit."

"You'd feel pretty bad, right?"

"Yeah…'spose so."

Minamo smiled weakly. "So…would you still like them, then?"

"Like 'em?"

"Yeah. Like...even if you didn't get along, would they be your hero, still?"

Her friend folded her arms, lost in thought. "...you ask sum' tough questions, lady. Damn...to besh' honest, I dunno' what I'd does'."

Minamo leaned forward, her forehead resting against the driving wheel as she held it. "...it's not easy to figure out, is it?"

Yukari answered gravely. "Yeah, yeah, it ain't..."

"So...I don't know what to think of her either.."

"Wha'? 'bout who?"

She chuckled. "...it's nothing. I guess it was kind of a random thing to ask you anyways. Forget about it."

Yukari looked at her again, her red-rimmed eyes slightly opening to take her friend in, and then threw herself back in her seat as she closed them once more.

Silence came between them then, both women just quietly resting in their seats as the night continued on around them, the faint sounds of insects and cars in the distance permeating it here and there.

"Hey…Minamo."

She turned an eye towards Yukari, the woman's voice not sounding as slurred as it had a few minutes ago. "...yeah?"

"Ya' know...how yer' always telling me that crap, about how I haven't changed since high school or whatever?"

"Yeah...I guess."

Her friend didn't answer immediately, Yukari's breaths acting as an interlude until she did finally speak. "You're the one that hasn't changed."

Minamo just stared at the woman until her attention gradually shifted back towards the starry sky above the car.


	15. Part I Chapter 15

**Author's Notes**

Yo!

Pic at the bottom! FYI, I have to put spaces in the URL so that FF doesn't block it (4 spaces total)!

~Mendhi

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything related to Azumanga Daioh. Don't sue me bro!

* * *

Part I

Chapter 15

Minamo took a quick glance at the trophy, one of many that lined the top of the small cabinet.

_-Coach's Award-_

_-Girl's Soccer-_

_-Minamo Kurosawa-_

Her hands continued to shift through the top drawer in it, picking up a few of the medals that were inside as she read them.

_-3rd Place-_

_-Girl's Swim Team-_

_-District Finals-_

_..._

_-MVP- _

_-Women's basketball-_

She took out one more, her eyes wincing from the sheen it gave off, the morning light striking it sharply through her apartment window.

_-1st place-_

_-12th District Track meet-_

_-200m Sprint-_

_-Minamo Kurosawa-_

The award dangled from her hand, Minamo just watching it sway back and forth before her. It had been a good while since she had last gone through her old silverware, of all the medallions and trophies that she had earned way back in her high school and college days. Her talent at athletics had always been quite considerable, her abilities allowing her to easily excel at whatever event or sport that she participated in, and the great breadth of her prize collection was firm evidence of that. But while Minamo always did feel some amount of pride whenever she viewed her old accomplishments, her victories themselves weren't the most important thing to her about them.

For most of this Sunday so far, she had been preparing herself to meet someone, an individual who, in recent years, had been the source of a great number of frustrations for her, a castigating presence in her adult life that never hesitated to critisize her now. But her relationship with this person hadn't always been that way, and as Minamo continued to gaze at the medal in her hands, she could feel the joy of those old times of when they had both gotten along so well, of when she had received her praises rather than her disappointment.

It was those memories then, of the love that she had received from this person, of the love that Minamo still had for her despite their disputes, that she had been extracting from her awards. She could still see it in the gleam of every single one, that approving smile that she was so fond of, etched upon the face of the woman who had given her the talent to win them all, and of whom she had dearly wanted to win them for.

* * *

_"Stand up straight, Minamo, and look at people when you talk to them."_

_Her head went up, her arms still around her mother's leg as her eyes slowly connected with the two people around her. They were speaking at once now, their words all aimed towards her._

_"She's so cute, Ms. K!"_

_"She looks just like you, Kurosawa."_

_"Minamo...how old are you? Can you tell me?"_

_Minamo stared over at a woman who was looking down at her in earnest._

_"Go on and tell her, dear."_

_She glanced up at her mother, nodding slightly, and then addressed the question. "I'm seven, ma'm."_

_"My, how well mannered you are!"_

_A man next to her spoke. "She just started elementary, right?"_

_"That's right."_

_The woman clapped her hands. "Oh, wow! I bet you're really doing well in school, huh, Minamo?"_

_"I...umm..."_

_"You must be really smart like your mom, I bet! You're a little scholar, aren't you?"_

_Ms. Kurosawa smiled. "She does alright. Sports are her real interest."_

_"Is that so?"_

_"Yes. She's always watching and playing them." She looked down at her daughter. "She's good at everything she tries so far, mostly running and swimming. She quite the competitor at both of them, even at her size."_

_The man laughed. "I'm not surprised. Maybe she's going to be as good as you were, then."_

_"Well, well..." The woman leaned down, looking straight into her eyes. "Are you going to be a sprinter, then, or a swimmer? Oh, what else could you be...?"_

_"Something on a track, I bet."_

_"Or a field! Like a winger. They have to be quick down the lines to pass the ball, you know."_

_"Let's ask her. What do you want to do, Minamo?"_

_She looked back and forth between the pair that was questioning her, their focus on her now causing a sudden rush of bashfulness to come over her, and she hid herself behind her mother's legs._

_Laughter erupted. "She doesn't act like you at all, Kurosawa."_

_"She's so timid! Like a little mouse..."_

_The people around her continued to speak, and Minamo became even more embarrassed about herself when she heard her mother's chuckling._

_"Yes...she's very shy. Too much like her father. And she's quite self-conscious already, so I'm a bit worried about that..." She put a hand on her child's head. "But I suppose she'll grow out of it. She's different when she's playing sports. She's confident then, so I think that she's going to make me proud someday with her talents. Aren't you, Minamo?"_

_Minamo hugged her leg in response, the conversation and environment around her now weighing down upon her mind, confusing it. She wasn't exactly sure of what was going on today, of where her mother had taken her, but the large interior of the gigantic building that she was in was beginning to disorient her. Groups of people traversed around the place as well, all of them wearing suits and giving off this aura of importance, and Minamo found herself wanting to run from it all as she felt their eyes upon her._

_"...anyways, we'll watch her for you while you present, Kurosawa."_

_"Thank you. Sorry to burden you both. She had no school today, and I couldn't find anyone to watch her since her father's out of town."_

_"No problem at all." The man leaned down on a knee. "You can sit with us, Minamo."_

_She looked up at her mother with an anxious expression._

_"It's alright, dear. They work with me. When I leave, they'll take care of you until I get back, alright? You'll be able to see me up front, anyways, so don't worry."_

_She hesitated, looking at both people around her until she nodded, and then stood silently by her mother as the group began to discuss subjects that she couldn't really follow. Their__ conversation seemed to go on for a large amount of time, her mother instructing the man and woman about something until they all started to walk down the large hallway that they had been in._

_"I have to go now, Minamo. When I'm done, I'll come sit with you. Listen to what they tell you in the meanwhile, alright? Behave well. Here." She removed a brown leather jacket off of herself, revealing the business suit that she wore underneath, and handed the item to her daughter. "You can take care of this, Minamo. I'm trusting you with it."_

_Minamo took the jacket, hugging it dearly. "I will, ma'm."_

_She waved at her mother with apprehension as they separated, not wanting to be apart from her at all in such a strange place, but her nerves settled down as the man and woman conversed with her genially, reassuring her that things would be alright in the meantime. _

_The three of them then navigated their way to a large auditorium, Minamo gasping as she in took in the rows of seated people that were there inside. At the front of it all was a raised platform, a podium and large projector screens upon it, and the whole place looked as if it were a giant theater to her._

_"We're going to sit near the front, Minamo. Let's go!" _

_She followed her chaperons, sitting between them as they took their places._

_"So...do you know what your mother does for a living, Minamo?"_

_"Umm..." Her hands clutched themselves nervously. "She...fixes things, I think...sir..."_

_The man chuckled, and the woman began to speak. "Sort of...how do I explain it? Basically, Minamo, we go to companies, like this place, and make their computers and technology more effi-...better."_

_"...is she going to make it better now?"_

_"Well...today we're going to tell them what's wrong with their stuff, and then help them after that. All these people here work at this business we're at, and they want to hear our findings. You understand?"_

_She nodded slowly._

_"'course you get it. You're her kid!" The woman folded her arms. "...but, this place is actually the biggest we've done yet. It's kind of overwhelming when you look at it all...but since your mom is doing the presentation, it should be alright. Your mom is really smart, did you know that, Minamo? That's why she's our boss."_

_"She's a tiger."_

_Minamo looked over at the man. "A tiger...?"_

_He nodded. "Yup! Like this." He placed his index fingers at the corners of his mouth, pointing them down like fangs. "Grrr!"_

_She stared at him with a blank face, the woman laughing._

_The man frowned. "...well, you'll see what I mean."_

_"See, Minamo, later...when your mother tells them what's wrong, well, some of them..." The woman pointed towards a row of men on one side of the chamber. "...will get mad, and..." She laughed again. "Well, it's always fun."_

_Minamo stared at her as well, not at all understanding what either person was talking about, and then took her gaze back to the front stage. A man had finally appeared on it, talking to the audience as he began to get things underway. He introduced himself and the others who came up beside him, each talking about something or other, until..._

_Her eyes widened, her hands tightly gripping the jacket she held. "Mommy!"_

_A touch of applause came about, Minamo's mother on the stage now as the large screens behind her lit up. On them were words that seemed to go along with what she began talking about, of how the people that she was addressing could improve their company's technology, what was wrong with it, what was right._

_And as Minamo watched her, she felt herself starting to become excited for some reason. Even though she had no real idea as to what was being explained, she just couldn't sit still from knowing that everyone around her, all the important-looking people that dressed so smartly, had come to see her mother speak. They weren't all just listening idly either, because she could feel the respect in the air that was growing towards her parent, the crowd becoming impressed by the clear, perfect way in which she spoke, her queenly voice ringing so solidly through out the room._

_The presentation went on, her mother eventually wrapping things up before taking questions from those in attendance. Most of the people who took the opportunity conversed politely with her, but some of the others seemed to be quite angry._

_"See, Minamo. She just told them what they're doing wrong, and now they're mad, because it might cost them their jobs."_

_She kept her eyes on her mother. "...she's going to fire them, ma'm?"_

_The woman laughed. "No, no. All these people don't work for us. Someone asked us to come and...examine them. You know what that means? We look at their insides and try and fix things, but not everyone always likes to hear what's wrong with their stuff, you know? Because it might be their fault in the first place."_

_Minamo didn't really pay attention to the woman's words, her entire focus on her mother now. The people that were upset with her seemed so frightening, but her mother didn't appear to be fazed by them at all. When they raised their voices against her, they would be met back by one that contained even more volume, the authority in her mother's words flattening them completely, handling them as if they were children._

_"All those old men don't want to change how things work for their company, Minamo. But they have a new boss that called us..." The man pointed to someone at the far end of the room, an elderly gentleman. "...and he wants us to make things better, even if those other people don't like it. Your mom is putting them in their place now."_

_"Is she mad at them, sir?"_

_The woman answered first. "Well...no. That's just how your mom is when she argues." She laughed. "That's why she handles our big jobs, Minamo. She's not afraid of anything, and she's always right."_

_Minamo looked at her for a moment, then back towards the stage. She knew firsthand of how commanding her mother could be, but had never seen that strength of hers reach a level like this. It was as if she had transformed into another person entirely, the sheer confidence and intelligence that she was exuding absolutely amazing her._

_And with every word that her mother continued to speak, every comment that the man and woman next to her kept on making about how incredible she was, Minamo could feel her heart swell with a sensation that she had never really experienced before._

_"She's done now, Minamo. Here she comes."_

_She watched her mother come down the stage stairs, shaking hands with some people along the way, the man next to her moving over so that she could sit by her._

_"You nailed 'em, Ms. K."_

_"Yeah! This account is really going to get our name out there."_

_Ms. Kurosawa smiled and then looked down at her daughter. "We have to stay and watch the rest, Minamo. So, di-"_

_The man and woman chuckled._

_ "Aww, look at her. She missed you!"_

_Minamo held her mother's arm tightly, resting her face against it._

_"She's really attached to you, isn't she, Ms. K?"_

_Her mother sighed. "I suppose so. Did she behave?"_

_"Of course! She's a pretty quiet kid."_

_Ms. Kurosawa looked at her daughter. "...she's always been like that. I wish she wasn't so reserved, but..." She placed a hand on to her head, patting her child gently. "I guess that's just how you are, Minamo. "_

_Minamo grinned widely, enjoying the sound of her mother's voice as she accepted her for what she was, the wonderful new feeling inside of her continuing to flourish. The intricacies of it were still a mystery to her, but she was, at the very least, beginning to understand as to what had initiated it._

_Her eyes glanced up to her mother's face, adoring her completely. She had always been the most important person in Minamo's life, the one that she loved the most, but now, after having seen her perform in the way that she had, that bond with her had subtly changed. __There was now this need inside of her, a desire for all the others around her to see how she, out everyone else in the entire world, was the closest person to this incredible individual._

_And she wanted them all to know, to witness it first hand, that she alone was her daughter, the only one who had the right to grow up and become exactly like her._

* * *

___www. blue-suns warmth/chapter15/chapter15. jpg_


	16. Part I Chapter 16

**Author's Notes**

Hey!

No pic for this one (it's a fairly quick read)!

~Mendhi

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything related to Azumanga Daioh. Don't sue me bro!

* * *

Part I

Chapter 16

"Well? How do you like it, dear?"

Minamo tapped a few more keys, navigating her way through the various menus. "...it's great, mom, but..." She made a whining sound. "I still think that it's too much..."

Ms. Kurosawa chuckled, looking over her daughter's shoulder. "Well, I had to get you out of the dark ages, dear."

"Come on, don't tease me..."

Her mother patted her arm, walking away as she headed towards the apartment's entrance. "Well, it's true. How can anyone get by without a computer nowadays? I mean, how do you get your work done?"

She got up, closing the lid of the brand new laptop, and went to join her. "I just use the one at school. That's all I really need…"

"You tell me that after you've lived with this one for a while." Ms. Kurosawa took her jacket off a stand by the door, placing it upon herself. "Anyways...I should go now, since it's getting late. If you have any questions about the laptop, then don't hesitate to give me a call, alright?"

"Ok, mom."

The woman took her phone out, checking it quickly. "I told your father that I'd only be here for an hour, but it's almost ten o'clock now."

"He's probably asleep, anyways, after all he ate…"

"That could be." She returned the phone to its pocket. "I'll call you next weekend when I'm ready to play. I just need to get my racquet restrung first."

"That's ok. Just let me know when you're ready."

Ms. Kurosawa nodded as she opened the door. "That's what I want to hear. Alright, see you then, dear."

"Hey…mom…"

The woman paused in her exit. "What is it?"

Minamo took a moment to respond. "...thanks for taking me out today. I had a lot of fun."

"Ah..." Her mother turned to her. "Yes, it was pretty entertaining. We'll do this more often, alright?" She put an arm around her daughter's shoulders, giving her a bit of a rugged hug. "Just keep the lines open from now on."

"Y-yeah...I will..."

"Good." She let go. "See you then, dear."

"Bye, mom..."

Her mother left, Minamo closing the door behind her, and then leaned her back against it as she stared at the insides of her apartment.

She smiled widely.

_What was I afraid of all these years...?_

A sigh of relief drifted out from her, her joy making it sound all the more content.

From the very moment that her mother had come over in the morning today, to take her out for the birthday excursion that they had previously planned, Minamo had felt nothing short of sheer delight. The fears that had plagued her before their meeting had quickly melted away as they had gone out on the town together, Ms. Kurosawa not even once bringing up any issues about her daughter's personal life or habits. The shrewd, demanding individual that had critisized her so badly last week hadn't been seen at all today, her mother only showing the side of herself that Minamo had missed so much in the past few years: the kind, supportive parent that she used to know, that she had loved so dearly her entire life, even when they had been on the worst of terms.

She walked back to the main room, her smile growing. It had been a gigantic surprise to her, to see her mother change her attitude towards her so abruptly, but Minamo hadn't given much thought as to the reasons for it at all. All she knew was that the bad air between them had somehow cleared, and she had soaked in every wonderful second of being able to walk side-by-side with her again throughout the city streets today, of being able to sit next to her at their family dinner, all without any aches of anxiety. It was almost as if the hesitations that she had about seeing her mother all this time, to avoid her castigation, had been completely unfounded, an empty set of dreads that had been created by her own inability to properly face her.

_It was you. It was your fault for being so afraid. Don't you get it? She's like that to everyone because she can be. She just wants people to meet the standards that she sets for herself, that's all..._

Her feet maneuvered around a few boxes that littered the floor, packaging that had formerly been housing the new laptop that sat upon her table, Minamo now staring down at it. In addition to the warm affections that had been shown towards her today, she had also been presented with some more material sentiments by her mother. When the woman had first stepped into her apartment earlier, she had immediately noticed that her daughter still lacked a computer, calling her an 'old fogey' for not having even the simplest of devices that she felt every home needed. She had then made it her highest priority to get her one for her birthday, along with the phone that she had originally requested, and had completely ignored Minamo's claims of having too much money spent on her for things that she wouldn't make any real use of.

_Well...I mean, I will use it, but...geez, I don't get these things..._

She placed her hands on her hips, shaking her head. While she did greatly appreciate the gift, her desire to really utilize the device was limited by her means to do so. She had never really been a computer person, not just because of a lack of interest in them, but also because her mind wasn't able to really fathom their intricacies. As far as using them was concerned, Minamo could create basic word documents, work the Internet here and there, but anything beyond that started to give her a headache. She had always been a simple individual, getting by in life with her simple lifestyle, and wasn't at all even remotely as tech-savvy as her mother was, of whom seemed to manage any sort of gadget or device with the greatest of ease.

Her smiled evened out, her brow furrowing.

_...don't be silly. Even if you aren't as smart as her, she still thinks well of you. She just proved that today.._.

Minamo groaned, her sparkling mood now losing some of its luster.

_Why do I always question this? Everything went well, so stop thinking such stupid things. She really does love you. And you got to be with her all this time. So what if you're not as intelligent, or sophisticated, or successful...or..._

She sighed.

_...perfect._

Her palm met her forehead, a *smack* cutting the through the silence of the apartment as Minamo tried to physically shake out the emergence of some old, familiar insecurities.


	17. Part I Chapter 17

**Author's Notes**

Heyo!

Pic for this one! I'm just putting the root directory, since it's easier to cut/paste all the spaces (I have to put them into the URL to avoid the FF block). The pics are named after the chapters.

www. blue-suns .com/warmth

(Now that I look at the old ones in there...I need to redo them XD)

I'm also trying to get a chapter out every week from now on, hopefully on Fridays or Saturdays. I'm probably going to be late once in awhile though :)

~Mendhi

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything related to Azumanga Daioh. Don't sue me bro!

* * *

Part I

Chapter 17

Minamo pulled the wool sweater over herself, enjoying the warmth that it provided, and then tossed her used clothes into a laundry basket that sat outside her bathroom.

She dropped onto her couch, the shower that she had just enjoyed causing her skin to feel so fresh all over, now free of the sweat that had dirtied it after her basketball game. Even though it had just been a simple recreational affair amongst a group of fellow sports aficionados, the competitive level of their matches was always quite always high, and Minamo could still feel the slight burn in her leg muscles from all the running and jumping that she had done upon the indoor court.

Her body laid itself upon the length of the furniture, her stare taking in the cold day outside of her balcony window.

_Maybe a little nap now? Not much to do anyways…_

Within a moment her eyelids closed, Minamo now pondering as to what she would be doing with the remaining free days of her winter break. A few months had passed by since her birthday in September, the end of the year coming in a few days, and she was currently enjoying the first bit of her seasonal vacation from work. Usually, however, she wouldn't be wondering at all as how to occupy herself during it, always having plenty to do with setting up lessons plans for next year and other such errands, but things were different this time. She was well ahead of schedule this semester, the usual logistical work for her school and side jobs already taken care of, and so she was now becoming stumped as to what else she could do in order to keep herself busy.

_I guess I could just take it easy today, but__ I'm not really that tired. Geez, I think I'm already getting bored…_

Her eyes opened again, Minamo gazing at the ceiling. "What to do, what to do…"

There were a few options that sprung to her mind immediately. She could finish watching the movie that she had started yesterday, browse the web on her laptop a bit, maybe do a little cleaning. Or, if she wanted to go outside again, she could go take a nice stroll around the town, but with Christmas Eve arriving tomorrow, she'd have to brave the gangs of sales-seeking shoppers that would undoubtedly be roving the sidewalks in their numbers.

_Ah…but, if I had someone with me, then it wouldn't be so bad._

She lifted herself off the couch, picking up her landline phone as it lay on the carpet, pressing the keys upon it quickly.

_Wonder what she's up to…_

The dial tone rang a few times before Minamo was greeted by an answering message. "_It's your time, so spill it." *beep*_

She frowned, hitting the re-dial number. _I know you're there…_

"…_yeah, what is it?"_

"Hey, Yukari! It's Minamo."

Yukari spoke again, her voice a bit hard to hear due to some clamor in the background. _"Yo. What ya' want?"_

"Umm…where are you? I hear a lot of people."

"_Yeah, I'm shoppin'."_

"Oh, really?" She chuckled. "Are you out by yourself?"

"_Yeah."_

"Wow…you're very courageous! It sounds pretty hectic out there."

"_I don't wanna' be out here."_

"Huh? What do you mean?"

A grumble came over the line. _"…stupid mom kicked me out."_

"W-what…? What happened?"

Her friend responded, but Minamo wasn't able to hear her over the accompanying commotion.

"Say again? Sorry."

Yukari began to half-yell. "_I said I tried to make a cake."_

"What? What cake?"

"_A cake, dammit'. The thing you eat."_

"I know that, but…why would she kick you out for that?"

Yukari's voice became jaded. _"…'cause I tried to make one. Don't make me say it again."_

"Ok, so you tried to make one, and…?"

"…_look, listen, dammit'. I-tried-to-make-a-cake."_

It took a few moments, but Minamo was able to finally understand what her friend was talking about, laughing as she did. "Oh…_oh!_ Right, right…so, is she pretty mad?"

"_Shit, yeah. I thought she was gonna' kill me."_

She laughed again, Minamo imagining the sight of the messy kitchen that Yukari must have left for her poor mother to clean up, her friend never having had any real amount of culinary skill. "Why did you try to make one anyways? I thought you hated baking."

"_I do! But…argh, that stupid Chiyo-brat…freakin' showin' off…"_

The grin on her face subsided slightly as Minamo became perplexed by the woman's words. She knew who Yukari was talking about, a bright young girl in her friend's homeroom class that had skipped her way to high school quite quickly, but she didn't really follow as to the situation concerning her. "What about Chiyo, now?"

"_Well…she brought this cake that she made for class yesterday, for Christmas. It was pretty damn good."_

"Really? To be honest, I'm not surprised. That kid is pretty talented."

"_Yeah, well, it pissed me off."_

She rolled her eyes. "…I get it. You got jealous and wanted to make one yourself."

"_I wasn't jealous! It's…uh…well, shit, ok, I was. I hate little punks like her that think they're all that."_

"I doubt she was trying to show off, Yukari. She was probably just being nice. You know how she is. She just wanted to treat everyone, I bet."

"_My ass. I know how kids like her work, Nyamo. They try and butter up everyone with stinkin' cakes and whatever other crap they make, ya' know? But yeah, anyways...I figured, if that stupid brat can make one, then anyone can."_

"...so you basically wanted to prove to yourself that you could outdo something that a child has done?"

"_…you know, Nyamo, sometimes, when I talk to you, I get the impression that ya' think I'm stupid."_

"I'm sure...anyways, hey, I just called up to ask...actually, where are you at right now?"

_"I said I was shoppin'."_

"No, I mean, _where_ are you shopping at? Are you in a store right now?"

"_Oh. Yeah, I'm at that bookstore we were at least week. The new one."_

"Ah, ok. Well, I was thinking about doing some walking. I just got back from a game and I still kind of want to move around, so I'll come and join you down there if you want some comp-"

"_Buy me food!"_

"What? No, I'm not going t-"

"_Buy me food!"_

"Yukari, do-"

"_Buy me food!"_

Minamo shook her head, her friend sounding like such a baby now. "Fine. But I'm ordering for you, so you can't go for the most expensive items like you always do."

"_Why are you always so damn stingy?"_

"_Excuse me?_ Who's the one being stingy with her money here?"

"_Well, I got things to invest in, unlike you. I'm an investor."_

"In what? Beer?"

"_Beer 'industry'. That's totally different."_

"Whatever. Look, anyways, I'll come over there right now, so don't go wandering off."

Yukari laughed. _"Ok, ok! Come on down here."_

"I'll give you another call when I'm outside the store, ok?"

_"You don't gotta do that."_

"Um, why not? It'll be easy to meet then..."

_"'cause I always know when you're around, Nyamo."_

"Oh, yeah?"

_"Yep! I can always sense when a cheapskate is approach-"_

She slammed the phone down on the receiver, Minamo now reconsidering the idea of just spending the rest of the day at home.

* * *

"…and that's why kids are idiots, Nyamo. I mean, who actually wants to put up with their stupid whinin' all day long anyways?"

Minamo took another sip of her coffee, setting it down on the table. "And you aren't 'whiny' at all like them?"

Yukari crooked an eye at her. "What you tryna' say?"

"I'm just saying that you're kind of like a big kid."

Yukari's face grew angry as she slammed a fist down next to her plate, causing it and the silverware around it to clatter noisily. "And now yer' callin' me fat, too?" She pointed an accusing finger across the table. "_You're the fat one!"_

She stirred her drink. "Calm down. That's not what I said. What I meant was, that…when I walk into your classroom sometimes, well, your behavior can make it hard to figure out whose actually teaching the class..."

"Oh, yeah?" Yukari leaned back in her chair, grinning widely. "Well, it's easy to pick _you_ out. Just look for the desperate ol' hag!"

Minamo grinded her teeth together, taking a moment to quell the irritation that had ignited inside of her from her friend's remark, the small cafe that they were eating at not exactly the best of environments to start a fight. "You know, now that I think about it, I might be a little short on cash to pay for your part of the bill after all..."

A shocked expression came on Yukari's face, the woman sitting properly again, looking cordial now. "I'll be good, ma'm!"

She sighed. "Yeah, yeah. Well, so, what do you want to go do now?"

"Hmm…I dunno'." The woman threw one last piece of a brownie into her mouth. "Thfwer's..." She gulped it down. "...there's another new bookstore I was gonna' go to if yer' up for it."

"Yeah, that's fine. You ready, then?"

"Yup!"

Minamo stood up, pushing in her chair while donning her coat, grabbing her long-strapped handbag as well. She took a quick look out of the cafe window, noticing that the crowds had thinned out a little since they had first arrived here a half hour ago. "Well, let's get going, then. Looks like we can get through there pretty quickly at the moment."

Yukari got up as well, picking up her own belongings before spreading her arms out wide. "Carry me!"

She ignored the woman as she made her way to the front register, paying the clerk, and then joined her again as they both headed outside, a slight wind blowing by them as they exited.

Yukari stuck her hands in the pockets of her own coat, shivering a bit as they began to walk to their next destination. "Think it's gonna' snow again?"

Minamo looked around her, traces of white here and there upon the sidewalk. "I don't think so. It's been a pretty mild winter so far."

"Aww!" The woman blew out a frosty breath. "I wanted to build a fort…"

She smiled, taking in a taste of the clean, crisp air, and then began to gaze at the sight of all the Christmas decorations that peppered the buildings around them. Since it was still relatively early in the day, none of the lights and other luminescent seasonal displays had been turned on yet, but the bundles of visible wires and frames for all of it were still quite visible. They were in themselves a show to Minamo, webs of wires that strung themselves from the trees and stores, coming to full life whenever the darkness of the evening began to creep into the sky.

"We should come here at night, Yukari. It'll be pretty cool to see all of this lit."

Her friend shrugged. "It's the same thing every year. They never do anythin' different."

"Well, but, still, it would be fun! But then again, it's always so crowded…oh, where is this place we're going to, by the way?"

"Uh, it's by the arcade, I think...err, or was it by the Mcdonald's…?" Yukari smiled hesitantly. "I remember hearin' it was somewhere in the district we're goin' to..."

Minamo shook her head sadly. "Well, we're walking towards the city, so don't get us lost."

Her friend chuckled. "It'll be ok! Just think of this as an adventure! How can ya' find new places to check out if ya' don't get a little lost once in a while?"

"That might be true, but…" She dodged a few people who were passing by too closely. "Getting lost in strange places isn't exactly how I planned to spend my day..."

Yukari laughed, both women continuing to chat it up as they made their way down the bustling sidewalks, the pair thoroughly enjoying each other's company all the while. Minamo herself was getting the most out of the experience, walking about the town one of her favorite pastimes, especially when she had her good friend alongside to entertain her. Yukari was never anything short of a real comedian, and her wry sense of humor and over-exaggeration of their conversational topics always struck Minamo's funny bone at just the right places.

_You're still the most hilarious person that I've ever known. It really was a good idea to hook up with you today…_

She laughed again at another of Yukari's jokes.

_Hook up…?_

A frown abruptly ran across her face, Minamo's high spirits returning to earth now as the blur of activity that was around them suddenly sharpened into focus.

_Ah, damn it! I totally forgot..._

Her eyes averted away from what she had now become cognizant of, Minamo just staring down at the pavement as they moved.

"What's wrong?"

She looked over at Yukari, putting on a weak smile. "…nothing. Just a little tired, I guess. Too much sugar in those pastries I ordered."

"Oh." Yukari shrugged. "Well, don't fall asleep on me, 'cause I ain't gonna' drag you."

Minamo gave her a curt little nod, hiding back the sudden gloom that was now trying to leak through her faked happy expression.

_Every stupid year now..._

She kept her head low, Minamo trying her best to avoid the sights that had come into view now, of all the young, happy couples that paraded about the city's edge on this day before Christmas Eve. Up until a moment ago she hadn't paid them much notice, her mind having been occupied with her conversation with Yukari and other miscellaneous thoughts, but now that she had become aware of them…

_When am I going to get over this? Come on, just grow up already…_

Minamo bit her lip, a habit of hers whenever she tried to push off the somberness of her romantic life. While she had always loved any holiday occasion for what they were in themselves, she had gradually grown a bit leary of enjoying them out in public spaces, the lack of a special someone to share them with making her feel as if she didn't fit in with the rest of the world that did. It was a hard fact for her to cope with, of how the hundreds of other women currently around her, with husbands and boyfriends walking cheerfully by their sides, didn't share in her dilemma at all. It just always felt to Minamo as if they were all mocking her with their good fortunes, bragging about how easy it was to find and keep a companion, as if she had none of their charm or capacities to do so.

"Yes! There it is!"

Minamo looked up, Yukari pointing over to an open plaza.

"Ok…I know it's in there somewhere. Come on!"

She followed her friend, her steps so lethargic now as a familiar bitterness began to cement her body.

_Why does this always make me feel so bad? Maybe Yukari's right. Maybe I really am desperate…_

She took in a deep breath and exhaled, trying her best to release her sorrows as she continued to follow Yukari, the woman leading her into the middle of a circle of stores that were oriented around a small courtyard.

Her friend squinted her eyes, searching. "Where is it…where is it…"

Minamo looked around half-heartedly.

"You see any bookstore yet, Nyamo?"

"Nah…"

"Bah, you're no help!" Yukari walked away from her, her head zipping about frantically. "Wait here. I'm gonna' find this place quick."

Minamo didn't respond, her voice feeling drained now, and as she watched her friend run off she began to wonder if she, too, should do the same. There was just this desire in her to flee now, to go hide in her apartment and escape from the reality of her relationship woes, but at the same time, she didn't want to be rude to Yukari and bail out on her, especially since it was her own idea to come out here and join her in the first place.

_It'll be ok. Just a little longer._

She braved another look around, trying to spot where her friend had gone to, and instantly regretted the decision.

_Ugh…_

Outside of one of the larger stores, standing together in arms embrace, was an affectionate couple that seemed to have no real cares in the world, given that they were making out in full view. A young, lithe man was showing his love for the woman he held, a beauty with dyed blonde hair, and the pair seemed to be entirely oblivious to their immediate environment. Those who walked by them put on disgusted, contorted expressions, as if they had just stumbled upon a scene that was straight out of some cheap hotel room.

The frown on Minamo's face sank even deeper, jealousy beginning to mix in with the depression, and she was just about to turn around and forget what she had witnessed before something peculiar grabbed her curiosity.

_Wait a minute…_

She stared at the lovebirds again, walking a few paces closer to them, her eyes widening as she did.

_...I was right! Definitely, they're definitely…!_

"I found it, Nyamo! It was around the corner. Damn, what a dumbass place to put a shop! Couldn't see it at all from here."

Minamo completely ignored Yukari as the woman returned.

Her friend gave her a scrutinizing look before peeking over her shoulder. "Hey! What's up? Watcha' lookin' at?"

She still didn't respond, Minamo unable to tear her eyes away from the spectacle before her.

Yukari walked over to her side, trying to locate whatever it was that was so interesting to her friend. "What's up?" A hint of excitement tinged her voice. "Someone get killed?"

Minamo nodded ahead of her, her train of thought returning. "Them, over there..."

"Huh?" Her friend swiveled her head. "Oh, those stupid kids. Ah, geez." She sighed dramatically. "They're not gettin' ya down' are th-"

"No."

Yukari paused in her speech, looking at her fellow teacher with some concern since she had spoken with such a calm, even tone.

"That guy. Look at him closer."

Yukari returned her stare towards the lovers. "Yeah, ok, so what? He's some skinny twit."

"You can't tell? Don't you see why everyone around them is looking at them so funny? Especially at him?"

"Uh, 'cause he's feelin' up his woman out here?"

Minamo shook her head, and as she spoke her next words, she couldn't help but feel the most powerful wave of pure, undiluted envy wash over her.

"Yukari...they're _both_ women."


	18. Part I Chapter 18

**Author's Notes**

Hewwo'!

Pic at www. blue-suns .com/warmth (they're numbered by chapter). There are spaces in the URL to avoid the FF block.

~Mendhi

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything related to Azumanga Daioh. Don't sue me bro!

* * *

Part I

Chapter 18

_Why is she hanging out with them?_

_ She doesn't have to._

_Senpai..._

_...what about me?_

_You said...I was..._

_..._

_I'll talk to her._

_I'll just...no..._

_I'm scared._

_Why does it hurt so much? I hate this..._

_What's wrong with me...?_

* * *

"Seriously? No way."

Minamo's eyes stayed locked on to her discovery, Yukari still just a minor distraction to her. "Yes, seriously. I thought she was a guy at first, because of the hoodie, but then I noticed that everyone was looking at them wierd..."

Yukari peered closer. "...oh, yeah, I guess you're right. She's got the hips."

"Yeah. She's just tall, too."

Her friend shrugged. "Well, I never seen real lesbos' out doin' their thing before." She turned around. "Anyways, come on, I found the place!"

Minamo stood frozen for a few moments, watching the pair across the plaza as they continued to caress each other openly, and then finally regained control over herself. "...ah...y-yeah, I'm coming!"

Yukari hollered, telling her to pick up the pace as she shoved people out of her way without a care, but her words didn't really register in Minamo's ears. Her mind was in this sort of daze now, her body moving on its own as she blindly followed her friend through the crowd.

_...why did I..._

Her feet moved slowly, the trance that had now enveloped her making her feel as if she had been drugged, all because she had just simply seen two gay women become intimate right in front of her.

_...just get so angry?_

The moment that she had realized that the pair of lovers had been of the same gender, Minamo had, for some reason, instantly felt the flame of the most blazing jealousy. It had been the first time that she had seen two actual lesbian women together, outside of television and other media, and to behold the sight of them acting so close to each other in a public space, without any fear of prejudice, had just made her so upset. She had never had anything against that sort of lifestyle in question, but there was just something about the bravado that those two had displayed, their sheer audacity to show their love like that in front of the disapproving mob around them, that had filled Minamo's heart with this bleak emptiness, a hole that had coveted their courage in order to fill it.

_I guess it was just a shock...to see people doing something like that out here. Ugh, come on, get it together..._

She shook her head to clear it out, the aching feeling inside of her fading away now, her attention able to return to Yukari as she followed her friend into the bookstore that she had been searching for. The woman took off sprinting as soon as they passed through the door, zipping about the aisles with great excitement as she thoroughly inspected the inventory, Minamo trailing her as if she were chaperoning the actions of an over-stimulated child. Here and there she warned her to slow down, apologizing to other shoppers on her behalf when she startled them with her mad dashes.

But while her immediate focus was busy dealing with her friend's lack of manners, a deeper part of Minamo hadn't yet let go of what she had seen outside the store, a slumbering curiosity having become awakened by it all, roaring at her subconscious now with a hail of questions that it demanded answers to.

One of them, eventually, made its way into her more tangible stream of thoughts, the inquiry fitting easily around her mind, as if it were a glove that she had broken in some time before.

_So I wonder...I wonder, what they actually saw in each other..._?

What Minamo began to mull around in her head, as she continued to follow her friend around the bookstore, was what exactly it was that a woman could find compelling about another of her own sex. The blonde girl that she had seen had certainly been beautiful, but her allure, Minamo figured, was what a man would typically be drawn towards, a good figure and a pretty face.

_So...that other woman, looks at her like a guy would?_

Without even thinking about it, Minamo's gaze started to wander about the store, her eyes landing upon the other females around her.

_...would I feel the same, if I viewed them like that?_

The shop that she was in contained a fairly large crowd of people inside of it, the women among the bunch being a variety of ages and builds, Minamo viewing them whenever she could afford the chance to. She had become incredibly intrigued by the notion now, of being able to see a woman in a lustful way, the same way in which the two women in the plaza had seen each other. As far as men were concerned, Minamo knew what she found appealing in terms of their features and physiques, but as for another female, the only real basis that she had to go on was to try and enjoy the facets of them that she knew were traditionally popular.

Going on that standard, then, she could easily tell which women in the store would be considered attractive, the ones that had this childish cuteness brushing their faces, their frames thin and youthful. However, while Minamo could say that they did indeed look pretty, there was nothing in their looks that really set off anything special inside of her, no spark of excitement as when she took in a man that she found appealing.

But as she kept on looking about her, she did begin to find her eyes sticking to certain individuals occasionally, the women who seemed to be of a more mature make. Their faces and demeanors were a bit more refined, containing this fermented sort of beauty when compared to the younger girls present, and, to Minamo's surprise, she actually felt some degree of attraction towards their particular set of looks, becoming a bit enamored with them. Even though she saw these types of women every day in her life, she had never really viewed them from the angle of a voyeur before, hadn't tried to make anything significant of their attributes.

_They look nice, but...actually, I think it's more about how they're...acting._

She stepped around an aisle, getting a better look at the store as a whole. What she was noticing now, about the pleasant sensation that was being derived while taking in the breed of women that she found fancy in, was that it was their _behavior, _more than their looks, that was stimulating it. The way that they dressed and moved, how they spoke, none of it had that bubbliness of the younger ones. Instead, they exhibited this confidence, this type of assuredness that was so ingrained in the way that they carried themselves, Minamo starting to realize that it was their outward personalities that had really captivated her attention to them.

_They're not so 'girly', I guess...it's just...I don't know, they seem more...complex? Interesting? _

Across the store she heard the loud squawking of a familiar voice, Minamo turning around to see Yukari standing by the store's exit, a bag full of freshly purchased books in her hand. She was waving towards her, Minamo taking off with haste to join her outside before the woman _really_ starting yelling for her to come.

"So, where to now, Nyamo?"

"Um...I don't know. I...kind of want to walk around still. Want to just window shop for awhile?"

"Yeah, ok, sure. Hey, let's find some hot chocolate! There's always someone out here sellin' it now."

She nodded to her friend's wish, both women venturing out into the streets once more, Minamo resuming her little visual experiment from where she had left off. Despite the wider variety of women to look upon outside here though, her interest still continued to settle upon the ones that had that mature aura to them. They just seemed so much more distinct to her, their characters radiating with a cultivated individuality that she just found so incredibly exciting, their particular allure glittering brightly amongst the dull puerility of the hundreds of other women around.

But while Minamo was beginning to understand as to what she found attractive in another female, what was perplexing her now was the nature of that fascination towards them. It was hard for her to exactly nail down, but what she was feeling wasn't what she could definitely call a sexual-type of affection, such as the kind that she had for men that she liked, but neither was it just some simple sort of admiration for something that she found beautiful. The most that Minamo could fathom from it all was that it was a sensation that somehow exceeded both those types of desires, a more ethereal sort of pull that just seemed to control her will so easily, that had now filled her with this warm, buzzing heat.

"There's a stand! Chooocoooooolaaaaate!"

Yukari once again ran off by herself, talking enthusiastically to a sidewalk vendor that was selling some seasonal food and drink items. Minamo simply watched her as she went, finding an empty bench nearby to sit down on, signaling to her friend when she was done with her purchase.

The woman sat down next to her, a cup of cocoa in each hand. "I got two!"

She smiled. "...you got one for me, too? Wow, tha-"

Yukari laughed sarcastically. "What'er you talkin' about? They're both for me!" She stuck her tongue out.

Minamo frowned. "How kind of you..."

Yukari smirked, pushing one of the cups into her face. "I was just kiddin'! Take it, take it."

She chuckled, accepting the drink as she began to sip it slowly, the chocolate still a bit too hot to really gulp down quickly. "Thanks, Yukari. Mmm, this is pretty g-"

She looked over to her side, having heard a sudden yelp of pain, her friend holding her cup away from her as if it contained some sort of evil, her face red and contorted.

Minamo sighed. "Take it easy...don't just chug it down off the bat."

"Mwah' twongue! Swhit!" Yukari crimped her lips together, trying to cool her mouth. "That asshole boiled this in Hell!"

She laughed, about to turn her head back towards her own drink, but found her neck unable to budge.

_Ah! What about..._

She stared at Yukari, the woman's attention set to the beverage in her hand.

_...her?_

Her head flipped back quickly, just barely escaping Yukari's glance towards her.

_I think so...I think it's true, after all._

As they continued to sit upon the bench, the people around them bustling by, Minamo made use of the situation by stealing glances at her friend whenever she could, applying the same aesthetic filter on her as she had done to other women in the past hour. She had always known that Yukari had some level of charm to her looks, but the extent of that had never really been explored by her before. She had grown quite used to seeing her friend's face on a daily basis for almost half of her life, never really giving much weight towards what the opposite sex said about her.

Now, however, that she was examining her in a more sensual light...

That warm feeling from earlier flowed through her again, something inside of Minamo beginning to melt away.

_Yeah, it's totally true, what they all said. I can really see it now..._

Her judgement, after taking in the woman's merits, came into agreement with what numerous men in their college days had constantly said about her friend: that Yukari, at the end of everything, was just flat out _hot._ Everything about her, her facial features, her physique, all of it had this razor edge to it, the qualities of what one could label as a natural fox. What was even more impressive, though, was that her friend was what she was without the aid of any sort of makeup or flashy apparel, Yukari being one of those lucky individuals who just didn't need any of that any extra sparkle on herself, sizzling well without it.

However, even though her physical appearance had certainly piqued Minamo's interest, it was really the sheer magnitude of her friend's persona that was truly capturing it. Yukari's unstable disposition was the sole reason that she was still single, her temperament acting as a bane towards any successful relationship despite her good looks, but Minamo could see something behind it all that not many others, possibly even _anyone_ else, ever really did. Much like the other women that had made an impression on her today, her fellow teacher had a character that was totally unto herself, her oddball behavior consisting of quite a few layers of unique fabrics that wove together into something exclusive. There was always that rowdiness in her of course, but at the same time, Minamo knew that there was also the glimmer of a good heart underneath the smokescreen of her pride, a sense of humor that most entertainers would kill to have.

Her friend was, essentially, a mishmash of varying identities, enough of which that didn't make her seem like a typical woman, but at the same time, didn't cast her off into some sort of masculine-stereotype as well, almost going beyond the scope of either gender.

She was just...Yukari, and she was always so confident in being nothing else than that.

_Confident..._

A wide smile broke out on Minamo's face, one that she didn't even notice come upon her as she started to become enraptured by her friend, the woman just sitting there idly as she attempted another sip of her cocoa. It was strange to her, but now that she was getting a genuine feel for how attractive Yukari actually was, of how unique she was, she began to feel this mote of pride develop inside of her. Just knowing that she was able to sit by such a good-looking, comical individual made Minamo feel as if she were someone special, as if the others who passed by around them should feel completely jealous of her.

_This is so weird...it's like I want to be seen with her now. To see me with..._

Another thought suddenly struck her, one that made her giggle out loudly.

_To see...me?_

Yukari glanced over at her. "What's so damn funny?"

She collected herself. "Nothing, nothing! I'm just...feeling good, I guess. You know, this nice air and all."

Her friend stared at her strangely, returning her attention to her drink without another word.

Minamo hopped up onto her feet, taking a quick sip from her own hot chocolate. "...I'll be right back, Yukari. Just going to look into that shop there."

Yukari shrugged, Minamo now walking up to one of the buildings in front of them, peeking into one of its windows.

_I wonder..._

She sized herself up in the slight reflection of the glass, able to see enough of her own image despite the transparency of it.

_...if any woman's ever looked at me, like I've just been doing?_

A tingling sensation went through her, the path that her imagination was now leading her upon becoming quite the tantalizing trek. While it was Yukari who had usually gotten the most renown when considering appearances, Minamo herself had never been a stranger to such fare as well. Her style of looks, though, was a bit different from her friend's, her features softer and more subdued in comparison, what one would call 'cute', and her body as a whole was lither and tauter because of her athletic lifestyle, giving her an overall boy'ish complexion.

_Boy'ish..._

She tilted her head, viewing her own ever-growing smile in the window. Being seen as a tomboy was nothing new to her, but she was now contemplating whether that quality of hers had ever drawn in the eyes of another female. She had experienced it to some degree before, girls in her classes at work having told her how cool she appeared, how 'handsome' she was.

But, as for having another adult woman say that...

_Oh my gosh!_

She covered her mouth to stop another round of giggles, almost spilling the drink in her hand as she did.

_Has Yukari ever thought of me like that? Like those students have?_

That particular prospect, that her old friend might have seen some part of her as attractive during all the time that they had known each other, had unexpectedly sent such a delightful thrill up Minamo's spine. It was causing her to feel so lighthearted now, almost becoming dizzy with giddiness as she began to imagine what the woman might actually think of her looks, Minamo snickering to herself with every possibility.

_Maybe she thinks I'm cute? Just nice to look at? She'd never actually say that I looked good, though...oh, but what if she did...?_

Her heart began to spiral upwards, Minamo's fantasies running wild now, all the flattering ideas of what her friend could see in her causing her senses to become drunk. She was losing herself, some other force inside of her taking over the wheel of her consciousness, directing her thoughts and actions in directions that she couldn't at all understand as she continued to giggle uncontrollably.

Yukari watched her antics from behind. "_What the hell are you doin' over there?_"

She twirled around on a foot, a spring in her step now, and skipped back to her friend. "Hey, Yukaaaaarrrriiii..."

The woman looked up at her bizarrely. "_What the fuck is wrong with you?_"

Minamo grinned widely, twinkling her fingers about as a little greeting.

Yukari's jaw dropped, just staring stupidly at her now. "...Nyamo... uh, are you ok...?"

She shook her head up and down vigorously.

Yukari glanced at the cup of hot chocolate in her hand, looking at it suspiciously as if it had been laced with something, and then casually emptied it upon the sidewalk.

Minamo chuckled. "I'm ok, Yukari! I'm just...I'm just getting into the season, I guess, after being out here. Anyways, I have a question for you!"

"...yeah, what is it?"

"Are you doing anything tomorrow night?"

Yukari took a few moments to adjust herself to her friend's strange behavior, slowly digesting the question. "Oh, you mean Christmas Eve?"

"Yep!"

The woman leaned back casually upon the bench, her arms spreading out on the length of it. "Yep! Sure am! I got invited to a party, matter o' fact."

Minamo's smiled evened out. "Oh...really?"

"That's right! Gonna' be a lot of folks there! Probably tons of good food and stuff too, 'cause it's a real snazzy affair, so 'course they had to have me ther-..." She paused in her words, the cocky smirk that had cut across her face during her explanation now collapsing upon itself, Yukari throwing up her hands in defeat. "Ahh, who'm I kiddin'? I'm gonna' be home in my jammies' drinkin' beer."

Minamo laughed heartily, her mirthful spirits returning. "Hey, hey, that's not so bad!" She grinned. "You could have a tasty Christmas cake with it, too. Beer and cake sounds good, right?"

The woman blew out a breath of despair. "Yeah, it would be good, if I had any money left." She kicked the shopping bag next to her feet, looking at it. "I kinda' didn't have money for these to begin with..."

"Well..." She looked up to the sky. "Maybe Santa will bring you one..."

"Santa hates me, and all decent people."

She chuckled. "Well...what if..." She looked down at her friend again. "...what if I brought you a cake? I'm no Santa, but I could do that at least..."

The woman's face shot straight back at her, a ridiculous amount of suspicion upon it. "...you're gonna' buy me a cake tomorrow?"

"If you're nice to me!"

"...as in _you_ paying for it? Without me tellin' you to?"

"That's right!"

Her friend continued to stare at her, suddenly pointing an arm straight towards her. "_Who are you?_ Where's Kurosawa?"

She started to laugh again. "Yukari, it's me..."

"No way." Yukari's head turned from side to side, searching around her. "I knew somethin' was up. You're way too damn peppy! Nyamo's anal and stingy." She cupped her hands over her mouth, yelling out loudly as she alarmed the people who walked by. "_Where are you, Kurosawa? You can't ditch me, you troll!"_

Minamo retook her seat by her friend, placing her drink onto the ground. "Come on, stop fooling around. I'm serious...I'll come over tomorrow and we can have some fun, ok? And I really mean it! I'll bring a cake along, and you can have as much of it as you want." She softened her voice. "I mean...it beats spending tomorrow alone, right?"

Yukari stopped yelling, calming down a bit as she realized that the woman next to her was who she claimed to be. "...yeah, I 'spose." She stretched herself out, her hands resting behind her head now. "Well, if ya really wanna', sure, come on over." She paused for a moment. "Now that I think about it, I don't think we've spent a Christmas Eve together since college. "

"Yeah...with the old gang. But most of them are married now..."

"Damn them." Yukari yawned. "Ah, who needs 'em anyways? So, yeah, I got drinks there, and you can bring the goodies..."

The pair continued on with their conversation as they planned the next day's events, Minamo maintaining her high all the while, enjoying every second of being able to talk and joke around with her closest companion. And although she couldn't really understand why, when she now looked at the passing couples around her, she felt as if she somehow possessed what they did.


	19. Part I Chapter 19

**Author's Notes**

Hai!

Ridiculous amounts of free time at work this week = writing time!

No pic for this one since it's pretty brief. There *probably* won't be any for the next few either, since I'm going to use this opportunity to pop out a few shorter chapters, just to move the plot along *slightly* faster. Slightly!

~Mendhi

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything related to Azumanga Daioh. Don't sue me bro!

* * *

Part I

Chapter 19

Minamo ruffled her hair as she sat upon the sofa, her head in her hands, a palm against her forehead.

…_ah, finally kicking in._

She leaned back slowly into the furniture's soft padding, moving carefully as to not perturb the headache that ailed her, that was finally becoming subdued by the aspirin that she had taken just a short while ago.

_I can't even make it back to her room...ugh…_

Her eyes closed, Minamo succumbing to their weariness as she began to doze off in the Tanizaki living room, a pale mix of streetlight and moonlight flowing softly through the windows around her. As she rested, she began to talk to herself quietly, her words dissolving into the still air.

"...stupid dream...stupid, damn dream..."

With a heavy sigh she lay down, resting on her side as she tried to resume her night's rest, the refuge it usually provided having been invaded by an old, familiar foe of hers, a ghastly image that had become more prolific during her slumber as of late.

"Why...why...why...?"

She continued on with her broken murmuring, Minamo partaking in a rhetorical conversation with herself as she attempted to sleep.

Roughly a quarter of an hour had passed since she had woken up on the carpet of Yukari's room, a futon and blanket being her bed earlier this night, since she had decided to stay over for the Christmas Eve that they had spent together today. Through out every hour of it, Minamo had experienced nothing short of an absolutely fantastic time with her old friend, both women drinking and eating quite merrily all the while, having fun little fights here and there, Yukari making her laugh more than she could remember doing so in almost the entire past year combined. Everything between them had just clicked so perfectly on this occasion, the exhilarating high that Minamo had been carrying over from the day before making it all seem that much more amazing, even surreal.

And then, they had become worn out, partying well past both midnight and their own limits. Yukari had retired to her bed, Minamo made camp upon the floor, passing out quite quickly once under the sheets...

…and then, not even an hour later, had now found herself in her friend's living room, a throbbing pain in her head and a dread in her heart.

_Why is this happening so often now? It's like...it's like I'm not allowed to be happy, or something..._

That old nightmare of hers, that sick feeling of the wicked, warm taste of blood, had once again come to sour the end of yet another one of her great days. It just seemed to Minamo that whenever things were going very well for her emotionally, when her spirit felt so light and free, then that horrible dream would burst from out of nowhere and obliterate it, tossing aside her joy as if it were the carcass of some dead animal that it had destroyed.

She had woken up in fright then, the fatigue in her eyes developing into a painful headache, Minamo having left her friend's room afterward in order to seek some medicine from the kitchen. And while the strain in her forehead was indeed dying down now, there was, unfortunately, not much she could do in order to deal with how unsettled her nightmare had made her, like it always made her.

…_I was running from something? No…chasing something, someone…going outside, then...argh..._

It was the usual pattern of events, playing out in just the same way as her past visions did. They all started out so innocently of course, Minamo finding herself in an average day scene of her life, experiencing some brief spot of extreme pleasure, just before that mirth fell apart into some calamitous situation, the rest of the plot leading up to its scripted, disastrous ending.

_That's all I ever remember…that warm…that warm…_

She grimaced, the morbid taste of blood being recalled by her quite vividly. That part of her dreams was what she always remembered clearly after waking up, the horrible feeling of experiencing blood spill from her mouth, flowing everywhere, its disgusting warmth just...

Minamo's eyes opened, as if something had suddenly commanded them to.

_Warm…_

_Warm…_

_Warm…_

A shadow of a memory streaked by.

_…can I...can I..._

_...because...I want to..._

Her breathing intensified, a play that only she could see now occurring before her.

._..ki-_

_...I just..._

_...to...I want to..._

_...kiss, y-_

Shock consumed her, Minamo staring blankly at the darkened ceiling now as she tried to deal with an abrupt sensation that was beyond incomprehensible to her, that had just erased her entire train of thought completely.

A second ago, she had witnessed a glimmer of something, a sliver of some faded memory that had barely broken through the surface of her consciousnesses. But then, after it had enjoyed only the briefest breath of air, had been savagely devoured by the most gigantic, most terrifying fear that she had ever felt in her life, one that had now sunk back to its home at the deepest, darkest depths of her entire being.


	20. Part I Chapter 20

**Author's Notes**

Hey!

No pic (for now).

~Mendhi

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything related to Azumanga Daioh. Don't sue me bro!

* * *

Part I

Chapter 20

"Oh, really? They're taking another trip out there?"

Yukari didn't look at her, her eyes still on the show that she was watching. "Yeah. I got invited again, too."

"Wow, that's really nice of her to do!" Minamo leaned over, trying to look at her friend's face. "Did she call you up about it?"

The woman grinned mischievously. "Uh...sort of..."

"Sort of? What do you mean?"

"Never mind, never mind! The details aren't important! All that matters is that the little punk still has a beach house, and that I'm gonna' go to it again!" Yukari grinned widely. "So, you in, too?"

"Sure, of course!" She chuckled. "Kind of hard to take a pass on the beach. Geez, we really do have a nice bunch of students this round, don't we?"

"Yeah, whatever." She yawned. "Anyways, good thing yer' comin', 'cause I didn't wanna' chaperon 'em all by myself, ya' know?"

Minamo sighed. "Umm, that's what _I_ pretty much did last time by myself, since you always seemed to be off doing your own thing..."

Yukari waved her comments away with a hand. "I just know how ta' have a better time than you do, that's all."

"You can do that because you...oh, never mind." She shook her head, folding her arms across her chest. "So, when do they plan to go?"

"Next week on Monday! That work?"

"Right off the bat, huh? Well, yeah, I don't have any club practices then, so I'm in." Minamo tilted her head, beginning to look a bit annoyed. "By the way, Yukari..."

"What?"

She pointed a hand straight at her. "_Please_ sit down like a normal human being. You're not a kid anymore..."

Yukari chuckled, the awkward position that she was in making her appear quite comical as she relaxed on her friend's couch, her body lying upside down upon it as her hair brushed the carpet. "But there's nothin' good on the tube...this way it looks kinda' interestin' at least."

Minamo walked away, going over to her breakfast table, and then began to sort through some unopened mail that was strewn across it. "Just don't throw up in here when you start to get nauseous. Anyways..." She took a quick glance at her watch. "We'll head out in a few, ok? They only have a few free hours, so we don't want to be late."

Yukari's feet moved playfully through the air, her legs suspended above her. "Aye aye, capn'!"

She smiled at the hint of anticipation that had been in her friend's words, the feeling starting to get to her as well.

_Well...it's going to be really fun to see you all again. It's been awhile since the last time..._

With a few torn, empty envelopes in hand, Minamo headed into her kitchen, tossing them inside a small trash can while spotting the tiniest bead of sweat run down her arm as she did.

_Damn...I need to buy an A/C someday. Oh well. There's more than one way to cool down._

Minamo sighed, bringing out two glasses from a cupboard and then set them down on a counter. From her fridge she fetched some chilled lemonade, her usual remedy for dealing with the fierce heat that always came at this time of year.

_Can't believe that Spring is already over._ She filled the cups to the brim, heading back to the main room of her apartment afterward as she carried them out. _Such a busy year. I didn't even notice it fly by._

Yukari looked over at her as she entered. "Oh, hell yeah! Lemonade!"

"...only if you sit up right. You're going to spill it the way you are now."

The woman flipped herself over immediately, making a mess of her hair as she did. "Serve me, wench!"

She grunted with irritation as she handed a glass over to Yukari, watching her gulp it down as she took a few sips from her own drink, the cool liquid giving her body some relief from the increasing temperature of her apartment. Summer had once again had arrived in all of its blazing glory, the past few months having gone by in a whirlwind of activity, both women having seen the end of another school year, the beginning of a new one, and now, the blessing of a vacation that had granted them a well-deserved rest from it all.

Minamo stepped over to the side of the couch, flipping on a little vertical fan, and then went and sat down next to Yukari. "So...it seems like you're in a good mood today."

"I always am! I'm frickin' sunshine itself."

"Yeah, right..." She giggled. "You really are pumped to see those guys, huh?"

Her friend laughed. "Yeah, guess I am. Kinda' always reminds me of the old days whenever we get together now...just shootin' the shit and hangin' out like back then."

Minamo smiled, her fellow teacher's particular brand of enthusiasm always so fun for her to witness. Within the hour, both she and Yukari would be heading out to a restaurant in the city, hooking up with some old high school friends of theirs for a long overdue session of catching up. The last time that they had done so had been in the previous year, everyone's schedules usually so out of sync with each other as to allow more frequent reunions, but today, all of that had come into perfect alignment, at least for a few brief hours.

And while Minamo had been the one to organize the gathering, it was Yukari who had become the most excited about it, the woman always loving to joke and laugh around with their old gang. Even now, as their conversation began to orient itself around the upcoming meeting, the thrill in her voice was increasing with every word that she spoke. Over the next few minutes they talked a little about each of the few individuals that were coming, going over their histories, what they were up to nowadays, how they had changed from high school and college, all of it being conducted with good cheer and hearty laughs.

But as their discussion on the state of their friends continued, Yukari's face suddenly became cemented with anger, after Minamo had mentioned the names of the last few women who were attending.

"...wait. _They're_ coming too?"

She looked at Yukari strangely, that buoyant, mirthful attitude of hers having abruptly vanished, an intense fire in both it and her words now. "Yeah...w-what's wrong with th-?"

_"Why the fuck did you invite them?"_

Minamo recoiled back in sheer surprise, Yukari having leapt off the couch without warning, the remaining contents of her drink spilling out as she clutched on to it, a murderous glaze over her eyes now. "W-"

_"Those fuckin' idiots! Of all the fuckin' people in the world, you invite them!"_

Her eyes widened immensely, her friend roaring furiously into her face."Wh-why are you so mad...?"

The woman's hand on her glass visibly tightened. _"Because they ain't my fuckin' friends! Call 'em and tell them they can't come! Right now!"_

She raised her voice to be as assertive as she could make it to be, too startled to keep it fully steady. "Don't...don't be silly, I can't just te-"

_"Now! Call them now!"_

"Calm down! Wh-"

The shattering of glass exploded across the air.

Minamo looked over to her side in total disbelief, gawking at the broken shards that now lay at the baseboard of a wall, the shattered remnants of the cup that Yukari had just flung viciously against it.

_"Why are you only tellin' me this now? I hate those stupid fuckin' assholes!"_

She couldn't answer back, Minamo at an absolute loss for words as to what had just happened, of who she was now dealing with. The woman in front of her was a completely different person from the one that she had just been talking to happily a minute ago, Yukari now filled with a type of rage that she had never seen her possess before, her friend snorting madly like a wild, berserk boar.

Yukari came closer, leaning over her as her voice gained even more sheer force. _"You always do shit like this! You never tell me anything about what we're doin', 'cause you think I'm an idiot, don't you? Fuckin' admit it!"_

"Stop yel-..." Minamo shrank back into the couch, feeling cornered in it as the woman's fury pinned her down. "I...what are you talk-"

"_Don't lie to me! You always think I'm just a stupid fuckin' idiot, just like those shitheads do!"_

_"Yukari, please tell me what's going o-"_

_"You don't care anyways! You don't fuckin' understand anything with that stupid head of yo-"_

_"What are y-"_

_"If you don't call them right now..."_

_"Just tell me what's wron-"_

_"...then I'm gonn-"_

"Stop it."

Yukari immediately froze in her actions, Minamo's words having come out so soft and quietly, its yielding tone somehow having penetrated through the woman's wall of rage, of whom had now become aware of how she had just violently grabbed her friend by the collar of her shirt.

The nebulous babbling of the television went on around them, not a word being uttered by either woman.

Slowly, Yukari let go of her, staggering back a few steps as the frenzy in her eyes emptied out, the escaping anger making her look as if her entire persona was deflating, her expression and demeanor looking so tired now, so haggard.

For a few moments they just stared at one another, the both of them absolultely dumbfounded as to what had just happened, of the volatile scene that had erupted from the most simplest of chats.

"I..." Yukari's face reverted back to normal, as if her genuine self had just returned to her, her heavy breaths settling down as she looked over to the shattered fruits of her anger, her voice despondent and empty now. "I'm...sorry. I didn't mean...I'll go...I'll go clean it up."

Minamo watched her as she walked over to the mess against the wall, the woman just looking down absently at it.

_...what...what in the world just happened?_

Yukari sat down on the floor, and then began to individually pick up the jagged pieces of glass with her bare hands, placing them into a pile.

Her focus finally returned to her. "Y-Yukari...don't just touch them like that...you'll cut yourself." She managed to stand, placing her drink down, and then cautiously moved past Yukari towards a utility closest. From it she pulled a small dustpan and hand-broom, walking back to her friend and then knelt by her. "Here...let me do it...

"I did it, so I'll clean it."

She looked at her friend, a mountain of concern building up inside of her now, Yukari's voice and behavior so foreign of her regular mannerisms, like her vitality had just been stolen away. "Yukari..." She started to sweep some of the pieces into the dustpan, the tingling sounds of glass mixing in with the background noise of the television. "Let me do it. You're going to hurt yourself."

"It's my fault..."

"It's ok. Just move."

Yukari paused, seemingly thinking a decision over, and then sat aside obediently.

Minamo took over her spot on the carpet, brushing the shards together, wanting to say something, _anything_, to relieve the tension that was permeating her apartment now, but couldn't fathom as to where to even begin.

"Minamo."

She looked over at the woman, her friend appearing like a whipped puppy. "Yes...?"

"I didn't mean what I said. I'm sorry. I'm just stupid. I didn't wa-"

"It's ok...don't worry about any of it, Yukari." She put on the kindest smile that she could muster. "I'm just glad that you didn't cut a finger here."

The woman remained looking downtrodden, not speaking at all until Minamo finished clearing the mess. "You should go and meet 'em still. I don't think I should."

She sighed. "...hey, if you don't want to go for some reason, then I won't either, alright? We'll go somewhere else and eat, ok? Just you and me."

The woman shook her head. "No, you sh-"

"It's ok. Don't worry. I'll let the others know that we can't make it. They'll be fine without us."

"But, Minamo..."

"Listen. Let's go out to somewhere that you like, ok? Because we need to talk." She set the broom down, moving over to sit next to her friend and began to pat her back gently, putting the full of her arm around her shoulders for a little hug. "I think...I think there're a few things that you need to explain to me..."


	21. Part I Chapter 21

**Author's Notes**

Yo!

No pic again. I'll be adding some for older chapters very soon though.

~Mendhi

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything related to Azumanga Daioh. Don't sue me bro!

* * *

Part I

Chapter 21

A gust of sea breeze blew softly by her, sending a few strands of hair across Minamo's face.

._..but she's been ok since then, right? I mean, I shouldn't worry. But then again, she always switches moods so quickly..._

She scurried under the blanket, the wind picking up just slightly as she sat upon the folding chair, her gaze overlooking the ocean as moonlight dazzled across its surface.

_I need to know more, though. I really don't want to see her like that again. But what do I say next time? What do I ask? It's such a touchy issue...ack, what to do, what to do..._

She took a deep breath, exhaling it out slowly.

_...it's ok. Just take it easy. You'll figure it out. Right now, you should just be enjoying yourself out here. You need to let go of all that stress from the last few days..._

Minamo continued to take in the spectacle that was before her, of the beautiful maritime scene that she was viewing from the second floor veranda of the beach house that she was staying in. The planned trip out to the coast so far had been nothing short of a wonderful experience, Minamo quite grateful to the student who had once again welcomed her for another summer excursion to it, and now, while the rest of the party that she had traveled with were fast asleep inside, she had taken the opportunity to soak in the peaceful tranquility of an ocean night by herself.

_It's so amazing out here...but, a little windier that I thought it would be..._

"Oh, wow, guess ya' beat me to it."

Minamo glanced to her side, barely making out the dimly lit silhouette of someone that was standing next her now, a blanket swaying gently in their hands. The voice that she had just heard emanate from the individual, though, was quite easy to discern. "Ah...hey, Kagura."

"Yo!" The young girl waved cheerfully. "Guess we had the same idea."

She smiled. "Guess so. I didn't even hear you come up here.

The girl laughed lightly. "I tried to be really quiet. Didn't want to wake the others. Umm, do you mind if I sit here too, then? Kinda' never seen the beach at night like this..."

Minamo patted a chair that was next to her, her young student taking the cue and plopping herself down comfortably upon it, donning the sheet that she had brought along. "Yeesh! It's kind of chilly out here."

"That's what I was just thinking myself. It's kind of late though, and we've sort of grown used to the heat all day."

"Yeah, totally." She laughed. "Man, I thought fer' sure that everyone was sleeping still. Thought I was gonna' be alone up here."

"Ah..." Minamo smiled, her features glowing softly from the moon's light. "Sorry to spoil your plans."

"Nah, if it's you, it's cool, coach." She reclined back slightly, finally taking a look over the railings of the deck, throwing her arms up in excitement as she did. "Holy crap! Look at that! This awesome!"

Minamo set her eyes back towards the ocean. "Yeah...it really is a nice view from here, isn't it?"

"Man, you ain't kiddin'! I-"

Minamo leaned over, putting a hand on her pupil's shoulder. "Not so loud, remember?"

"Oh, yeah!" Kagura grinned, lowering her voice immediately. "Guess I was gettin' too into it."

She smiled. "It's hard not too, in such an awesome place. Oh, so, how do you like it, by the way?"

"Chiyo's pad here?"

"Yeah."

The girl snickered quietly. "I'm pretty impressed, to be honest. I didn't know her family owned stuff like this. But, yeah, I love it! I've always wanted to camp out on a beach before, but, like, having a house instead of a tent is somethin' else..."

Minamo sat back again, taking in a deep breath of the clean, perfect air as she did. "It really is nice." She chuckled. "I've never really been on personal trips with students before last year. When you guys graduate, well, I hope I can get another batch just like you all to hang out with...and that one of you has another beach house as well." She laughed.

"Aww, don't talk about graduation and stuff already, coach. You're spoilin' the mood up here."

"Sorry, sorry. Well, then...oh, how're you doing with your folks now? You're all doing fine still?"

"Things are goin' great!" Kagura grinned. "They're not really scared at all anymore."

"That being so, you should still be careful." Minamo sighed. "I know you're a tough kid and all, but, still..."

Kagura chuckled, bringing up an arm to flex it. "Bah, I'll be fine! C'mon, look at these guns!"

She joined in on her student's laughter. "I know, I know. I really am impressed! But...muscle alone doesn't prevent injuries, especially if you aren't watching what you're doing to begin with."

The girl frowned comically, going on in detail afterward about the topic of her improved relationship with her father and mother, of how they were now fully behind their daughter's ambitious pursuit of becoming a full-fledged athlete in her future. All the while, Minamo just simply listened to Kagura as she talked, genuinely enjoying the renewed sense of vitality in the girl's every word, of the new coat of maturity and confidence on her overall persona.

_So good to see you like this now. You've grown up pretty quickly in the last few months…_

She relaxed her posture, her student giving her a mouthful of about how careful she was being at practices now, how seriously she was taking her training ever since Minamo had conducted a little personal conference with Kagura's parents last year. The problem that had been sowing a rift between the girl and her family, what Minamo had discovered after discussing her specific choice of career with her guardians, had, in a nutshell, been much, much easier to deal with than what she had initially expected. Back before she had actually met them, she had thoroughly been preparing herself for a confrontation with two very gruff, stubborn individuals, of the kind that were overly traditional when it came to female participation in sports, since Kagura had been describing them as such.

However...

Minamo laughed. "…it's because they're _too_ worried. Your dad especially...he seemed like such a softy."

"Yeah…he's always been like that." Kagura sighed. "Even after you talked to him…he still thinks that I'm gonna' break my legs or something by just running. _Running!_ I mean, come on, seriously..."

She laughed again, Minamo recalling her surprise at how malleable her pupil's parents had been, when they had all gone over the issue of their daughter's future. Kagura's father and mother essentially didn't want her to go into sports because they were both _incredibly_ afraid of her getting badly injured somehow, female athletes in their family lineage being a completely new phenomena for them, and, because of their particular personalities, didn't really know how to handle their daughter's desired dream all that well. They were both good people, but they were the kind of parents who were vastlyafraid of anything that could possibly happen to their child, their immense fears leading them to think that Kagura, as girl, shouldn't risk herself in a career that could put her health and life at stake. At the end of everything, it was just a case of severe over-protection, the two of them worriers of the highest degree, and had tried to push more traditional careers onto their teen because of that, ones that were proven to be safe and easily fruitful paths in life.

But Minamo had, to Kagura's sheer delight, freed them of all their anxieties. She hadn't gone and given them the illusion that the sports world was one that was all simple fun and games, but she had convinced them that the biggest 'injury' that their daughter could ever suffer from would be by their own hands, to deny their child's own choice of future, both her father and mother not having really thought about things from that angle before. Minamo's firm affirmations of the sheer talent and strength that their girl possessed, genuine praise that had come from such an esteemed member of her school's faculty, had also dazzled them quite a bit.

"…so, hey, coach. I wanted to ask you this awhile ago..."

"What's that?"

Kagura leaned back in her chair, crossing her legs under the blanket. "Uh, well...I guess it's kind of a personal question. I mean, you don't gotta' answer it if you don't wanna'." She shrugged. "Was just wondering…well, you know that I'm pretty different from my folks now. That, ya' know, I probably don't really seem that, like, I'm their kid...so, that kind of made me wonder of how yours are."

"My what?"

"Oh...your folks-"

Minamo flinched.

"-just like..." The girl chuckled. "I dunno'...I always figured that you had a really cool family for some reason."

She looked at her strangely. "R-really?"

"Yeah! I mean, everyone at school thinks you're super cool and stuff...and I do too...so, yeah..." She laughed with vigor.

Minamo smiled weakly, her grin subdued a bit by her own sudden bashfulness, thanks to the compliment that she had just received, but more so, by the apparent humor that Kagura was somehow finding in her statement. "...what's so funny?"

"Sorry...I sounded so cheesy saying that! I totally meant it though, but..." She looked up at the moon. "It's weird, when you're outside like this, like, in the dark and whatever, with just someone else, you kind of feel like...I don't know, it's easier to talk about and say some things that you normally wouldn't." She looked over to her. "Do I sound crazy? Does that make any sense?"

"...I understand what you mean. It's the atmosphere, I guess...maybe just being out like this in nature just soothes us...you know, lets us be more of ourselves."

"Yeah…"

"...but, anyways, that's nice of you to think of me like that. I don't think I'm _that_ great though..." She chuckled, and then paused for a moment. "As for my parents...well, yeah, I guess they are 'cool', sort of..."

"Oh!" Kagura's expression brightened with excitement. "I thought so!" She laughed again. "I always wanted to know more about you for some reason...oh, man, I sound so lame..."

Minamo laughed.

"Yeah, yeah...so! I dunno', I mean, whatever you wanna' tell me is fine, if you wanna' I mean. Or, if you don't wanna', that's alright, too."

"I don't really know what to say, to be honest. I guess I'm not used to really talking about them much."

Kagura thought to herself. "How about...well, oh! I know! Who do you think you're more like, your mom or your dad?"

"…my dad, I guess."

The enthusiasm in her voice went down a notch, Kagura sensing a hint of disappointment in her sensei's words. "Yeah...? Was he, like, a really good athlete?"

Minamo shook her head. "Nah. He's never really liked sports. He's kind of a reserved person. He's pretty quiet I guess...doesn't like anything that's too fast-paced or hectic."

"…hmm, I can see that, kind of."

"See what, now?"

Kagura chuckled. "Umm, the reserved thing. You always seem pretty mellow to me."

"Oh…"

"So how about your mom, then?"

"My mom…?"

"…yeah." She looked at her strangely. "You sleepy, coach? You sound like it now."

She took a few moments to reply. "…my mom is really cool."

"Oh, yeah? That's awesome! I totally knew it." The girl grinned widely at her. "I bet you got all your skills from her, then!"

"...yeah, I guess you can say that. She competed in a lot of different sports when she was young...she won some championships, too."

"Whoa, seriously? Man, that's amazing! Actually, I'm not surprised at all...I was kind of picturing her like that, some superstar athlete, kinda'."

"…well, she doesn't do much of that stuff anymore. She works with computers now…umm, the security of them now, or something like that. I'm not really a techie person, so, I don't really know what they actually call it all..."

Kagura whistled. "She's gotta' be pretty smart, then."

"Yeah, she is."

"Yeah? Wow...I bet she's a totally awesome person too, right?"

"She...she is..." Minamo began to mutter. "She's like...if you met her, it's, like, feeling that you're around someone that...can do almost anything...she's amazing. So...it's great...but, you kind of...that you can feel a little inadequate around, because of that..."

Kagura grimaced, something about the shifting pace of their conversation telling her to change course. "Umm…oh, hey!" She laughed with a bit of forced effort. "Uh, how about Yukari's folks? You've met 'em, right? They've _gotta'_ be totally whacked like her!"

Minamo responded slowly, fumbling her way out of a swamp of some old thoughts. "Yukari...? Oh…oh!" She giggled. "Ah…well…no, not really. They're probably not like what you're imagaining them to be. I mean...they're a little off their rockers...but other than that, they're really decent people."

"Y-yeah?" Interest raced into the girl's voice. "Do you know them well? I'm totally curious now. We actually asked her about her family once...the class did, I mean, and she just told us that she didn't have any parents."

Minamo laughed. "What?"

"She just gave us some stupid answer, like she was born in a star or something."

"That sounds like something she'd say…she doesn't like to talk about herself much, unless she's bragging."

"Yeah, totally know what you mean...but, yeah! Tell me about 'em...if it's alright, I mean..."

"Well, I don't mind telling you, but…" Minamo smiled. "Don't tell Yukari about this, ok? I try not to talk about her personal life much, since she doesn't like me to...but I think something like this would be ok."

Kagura put a hand over her chest. "Totally! I swear I won't!"

"Ok, ok, good. So, umm...actually, let me ask you something first. Do you think that Yukari has a good sense of humor?"

"Uh...no."

"Rea-...oh, ok, I should rephrase that a little. I know she's a jerk, but that's not what I'm exactly talking about...I'm talking about..." She pondered over her next words. "Has she ever told you guys jokes before? You know, try and make you guys laugh? I know she must have, because I've seen her do it with her old classes."

"Ah...oh! Ok, I know what ya' mean now. Yeah, she does." Kagura folded her arms. "Actually...now that you mention it, it's probably the only time that the whole class actually gets along with her. She'll just find something odd to talk about and then just starts cracking everyone up." She smiled. "She's fun then...it's probably the only good thing that I can really say about her. Like, when everyone's stressed out and stuff, she kinda' picks up on it...like, she knows how to make you laugh it away pretty quickly..."

"That's her mom right there."

"Huh?"

Minamo smiled. "Her mom's a really funny person. She's a homemaker now, but, back when she was younger, she used to do some acting, in comedies and things." She chuckled. "I talk to her almost every day for a little bit when I go to pick up Yukari…she always knows how to get a laugh out of you."

"Wow…that's kinda' cool, I guess. Is she craz-…err, is she…kind of, uhh…"

"No, she's not nuts like her daughter. She's incredibly nice."

"…well, ok. That's kind of a surprise, actually. I was picturing them to be like clones almost."

"They aren't really, believe me."

"Um, ok...so, how about her dad, then? What's he like?"

Minamo sighed deeply.

"…pretty bad, huh?"

"Well...not really. He's a really nice person, too. They both are. It's just…" She thought for a second. "Well, let me explain it to you like this. The first time that I ever met him, I was over at Yukari's place. This was in our first year of high school. I...oh, yeah, that's how long we've known each other, by the way."

"Yeah, I kinda' heard that before from some others."

"Oh, yeah? Ok...well, anyways, I went over to her place to do some homework with her. Of course, she doesn't want to do it because she's a huge procrastinator, and just starts playing her video games the entire time instead of helping me out when I asked her to. She just kept telling me to 'wait', 'wait', 'wa-'"

Kagura laughed. "_You_ needed _her_ help?"

"I...err, yeah, I did." Her shoulders sagged in defeat. "She was always good with English, which is what I was working on at the time. And...well, to be honest, neither of us were amazing students or anything, we did ok, but she did always get high marks in subjects that were like that...anything that had to do with reading or writing. But, anyways...oh, right. Yeah, she didn't want to do anything, because she was being her lazy self."

"Yeah…ok."

"A little later her dad walks into her room. He's got a bottle of some…no, it was a beer, that was it. He came in with a beer."

"Uh oh. Is he a drunk?"

"Nah, not at all. But…" Minamo chuckled. "He…he went down to sit right next to Yukari, and asked her why she was playing her game instead of doing homework with me." She sighed. "She tells him that she hates school and all the teachers, how it's all a waste of time, you know, whining about everything."

"He musta' got on her case, then?"

"No, this is the worst part. Then her dad says that he hated school too, and then gives his beer to her, and then they both start playing the game together while she starts gulping it down."

"_Are you serious?" _Kagura erupted in laughter, covering her mouth quickly in order to keep the noise down. "That...that just sounds...you know...on one hand it's kinda' awesome, but, somehow, it's...it's also kinda' sad..."

Minamo shook her head with some fatigue. "You have no idea how awkward that was for me…to watch her drinking and playing games right in front of me like that, with her own father. I wanted to yell at her so bad for doing that, but then I was also worried that her dad might get mad at _me_ for not letting her drink alcohol."

Kagura eventually calmed down, little snickers breaking out here and there still. "So...so he's the slacker part of her, I take it."

"More or less…but, that's only part of the reason. It's because both of her parents are really, really relaxed about things, like,_ too_ relaxed, so, she ended up kind of spoiled because of that. They rarely ever disciplined her unless she did something _really_ bad."

"Oh…she didn't get in trouble much?"

Minamo nodded. "Yeah, at least when I was around. The way they are...it's funny, they're all a little odd, but they're still a really close family. Especially between her dad and her...they're especially close, because, to be honest, I think it's because Yukari didn't turn out to be very 'girly'. She's more like a drinking buddy to her dad, like, someone to hang out with, from what I make of them anyways."

Kagura laughed. "I can picture that."

"...but, yeah, it's also sort of because of stuff like that, that they really never make her do anything. They might all be a little too easy going...like her folks usually don't like friction in their house. That's the impression I always got." She put a hand to her face, as if she had some sort of headache now. "Honestly, I ended up having to make her do a lot of things that they could never get her to do, because they never really got tough with her or anything. Even to this day, her mom _still_ relies on me to get her own child out of bed for work…"

"Wow, well…that explains a lot, then. Actually, I didn't know she was with her folks still." She shrugged. "Ya' know, like I said, she doesn't say much about her personal life. She's their only kid?"

"Yeah."

"Ah, see, I was thinking that. Like...she's probably used to getting all the attention at home, right?"

"I guess. They do pamper her a lot..."

"So, that's why she's the way she is, then? It makes a lot of sense, actually, now that I think about it. She always gets so angry when things don't go her way in class...or when, yeah, like, when we start ignoring her or something, she gets _really_ pissed then, like a total baby..."

"…that's a little to do with it."

"Uh...a little?"

"She...well, she's always been like that, you know, egotistical and what not. But...honestly...it's more because that she's a little afraid of not being needed."

Her pupil glanced at her curiously. "Really? Like, if we don't want her help for something?"

"Well...not really like that. Sort of. It's hard to explain..."

Kagura's eyes started to glisten. "Oh...! She's got a story, then!"

Minamo peered over at her. "A story...?"

"Yeah! I mean, like her background and stuff. Oh, man, coach..." The girl looked around her, as if she were looking to see if anyone else was in earshot of them. "This is perfect! You totally gotta' tell me all about her!"

"W-why's that?"

"Well…we all…I mean, everyone in class is always guessin' what her history is, ya' know? Because's she's like...just so completely out of it. Every time we ask her about herself she never gives us a straight answer, though. Man, you wouldn't believe all the crazy rumors and stuff that are goin' on about her now, you know? So, oh, damn, you _have_ to tell me what's really u-"

"Don't you _ever_ start rumors about people like that."

Kagura jumped in her seat, Minamo's sudden bout of anger catching her off guard."...ah, but, I wasn't the one wh-"

"I don't care. Don't start them and don't get involved in them either. It's a terrible practice to get into, when you start saying bad things about people that you have no real clue about. What if someone started one about _you_ that was really bad? Don't you think that it would make you feel awful, if you heard it spread around?"

"I...well...yeah..." Her voice dwindled to a whisper. "But...I...

"Then don't get involved in any of it. Do you understand me, Kagura?"

She swallowed with some apprehension, Kagura looking down shamefully into her lap. "Y-yes ma'm...sorry...sorry, coach..."

Minamo blew out a breath of frustration. "It's ok. I didn't mean to get upset. I just don't like hearing that kind of talk go around. I know she doesn't seem like it sometimes, but your sensei is still a person with real feelings to hurt."

Kagura stayed quiet, the both of them just silently taking in the glistening sea for awhile, the night creeping by around them.

She looked over to her pupil again eventually, the girl appearing a bit shaken now.

_...maybe I should? I was just telling her that I wouldn't do this, but...I guess this is a little different. Just to have someone that's not involved to talk to. She's a student, but, she's alright..._

Minamo began to chuckle out of the blue.

Kagura glanced over towards her, a veil of worry over her face. "Coach…?"

"You're right, Kagura."

"A-about what...?"

She looked up at the sky, the stars peppered about it as if they had been sprayed there. "Being out here like this...it really does open you up a bit, about things that you usually wouldn't talk about with other people."

The girl just watched her quietly, turning her head to behold the same sight that she was.

"Hey..."

"Y-yeah?"

Minamo took her time in responding, gathering her thoughts together. "If I indulge you a little about Yukari...can you make me a promise, then?"

Surprise filled the teenager's voice. "Um...s-sure, coach. But...I thought you said that you didn't like talking about her personal life...?"

She looked over to the girl again, smiling genially at her. "Well...let's just say that...I need someone to listen to me for a few. Yukari and I had a little, um, fight the other day..."

Kagura returned her stare, concern in her eyes now. "A fight...?"

"Well...not a fight, really, but...she got very upset over something. We talked afterwards, and I learned some things about her that I didn't know before, even after all these years. So...I've been trying to figure out some things since then, but, they're not really things that I can talk about with my other friends, since it involves a few of them." She sighed. "That's actually why I came out here tonight... to just try and sort some things out in my head..."

"Is...is it something bad? What happened?"

"...can you make me a promise first, Kagura?"

"Umm...sure, coach."

"Obviously, whatever I tell you tonight, don't mention it to anyone else at all. I'm only going to talk to you about this because I trust you pretty well. You got it?"

Pride quite vividly oozed out from the girl's demeanor now. "Y-yes, ma'm!"

"Alright. So, anyways, I want you to promise that, from now on, if anyone ever starts a rumor about Yukari, or, about any of your friends, or about _anyone _at all, then you'll tell them to stop it immediately. It's a horrible thing to do to people and I don't want to see you participating in it, because you're a good kid and shouldn't be involved with such stupid nonsense. Deal?"

"Yeah, coach! You can count on me...I promise!"

Minamo leaned back in the chair, tugging at the blanket around her. "Ok." She sighed. "Just let me think...let me think of where to start..."


	22. Part I Chapter 22

**Author's Notes**

Heyas.

I don't have a pic for this one at the moment. Been kind of out of it this week to really paint anything (if you know what a RAI pill is and the stuff you do for it...ughhhhh).

However, I did upload one for Chapter 5 :) That one was done a bit ago. All of them are at www. blue-suns .com/warmth (they're numbered by chapter). There are spaces in the URL to avoid the FF block.

Comments, critiques, and grammar checks welcome :)

~Mendhi

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything related to Azumanga Daioh. Don't sue me bro!

* * *

Part I

Chapter 22

Kagura waited patiently, the gentle, stirring sounds of the ocean softly pawing away at the otherwise silent night.

"Hmm..." Minamo bit her cheeks. "Sorry, give me a sec. Just sorting out things in my head..."

"O-oh...don't worry, coach..."

She leaned her head back, resting it against the wall of the beach house. "...ok, let me just tell you this first, Kagura. Like I said...Yukari and I had a little bit of an, incident, the other day. She got really mad when...oh, I should mention this before that. We were going out to see some old friends that we haven't seen in awhile, but Yukari got really, _really_ mad when I mentioned the names of a few of them..."

"Why's that?"

Minamo shook her head with some exasperation. "That's part of my problem right now. I haven't really figured that out yet. I never knew this, but, for these particular friends, I guess Yukari and them had some huge falling out back in the day. She was really furious with me for having invited them along to that get-together, but like I said, I didn't know she was on such bad terms with them. So, I ended up letting the others know that we wouldn't be coming, so me and her went out to another place ourselves, so that we could do some talking." She put a hand to her head, massaging a temple. "It was...it was such an awkward, difficult conversation..."

Kagura tilted her head, curiosity seeming to weigh it down to one side. "...was she going nuts about them, or something?"

"Honestly, she barely mentioned the issue at all. For the most part, she was just incredibly upset with how she had acted."

"Acted?"

"Oh...that little fight we had, I mean. She threw something, and...oh, she was _really_ out of it. I've never seen her act like that before...she was really furious, more than what even I'm used to seeing of her."

"Wow..." The girl swallowed down fearfully. "I've seen her get pretty mad in class...so, if it's like, beyond that..."

Minamo sighed. "I know what you're talking about. This was a lot worse, and she honestly gave me a good scare. But...she did calm down, and like I said, we went out to talk after that, and she was just saying how stupid she was, and things like that, the whole time."

"That doesn't sound like the Yukari I know..."

She nodded in agreement. "From what I made of it all...I got the impression that she surprised herself more than she did me, which was what really began to worry me. And then she ordered some drinks..." She let out a groan. "That was a mistake on my part. I only let her because she was really feeling bad, and thought that she needed it. See, when she's upset like that, she gets pretty hard to understand with or without getting drunk. She rambles on a lot, and, she has this habit of going off into English a lot too...so it's like...no, it_ is_. It's basically watching her have a heated discussion with herself, in another language, and you're just trying to keep up on what she's arguing with herself about."

Kagura chuckled lightly. "Ok...now that sounds more like her. So...what was she talking to herself about, then? I mean, if you caught any of it..."

Minamo shook her head. "Besides how disappointed she was with herself...what I got out from it was that she had some problem with these certain girls from back in high school. She said they 'used' her."

"Used?" Kagura scratched her head. "'Used'...'used'...like, you said she was good in English, so, they 'used' her for stuff like that?"

She shrugged. "She mentioned that a little bit. But...I think there were a lot of things that happened back in high school, maybe college too, that she's never really talked to me about before." She turned to her student."...Kagura, you know how your class likes her when she's acting like a clown with you guys? Making you all laugh."

"Yeah. We all like her then."

"Ok. But, how about when she's _not_ like that?"

"...then she can be a total pain."

Minamo nodded sadly, turning back in her seat. "...that's sort of how most people thought of her back then, too. She was that class clown that everyone loved to watch...but then her temper kind of made it so that you only sort of got along with her, so that she didn't end up making fun of_ you_. She was...well...she's still kind of a bully..."

"_Kind_ of?"

"I know, I know. She's still like that. But, see, Kagura...when people meet someone like that...well, let me put it this way. One of my other friends used to say that Yukari had a lot of 'part-time friends', you know? Like...she was that person who was kind of fun to hang around with at school, but, if you had a birthday party, or had some club that you were recruiting for, things that were a bit more...umm...intimate? I don't know a good word. Basically, things that you didn't want ruined by her..."

"Yeah, I see what you're saying. She can be scary to have around."

"Right. So, it was stuff like that, that she was going off about. I mean, I always knew people avoided her when they could, and I really felt bad for her so many times when they did..." She sighed. "I know I sound like I'm making excuses for her. She did do a lot of mean things back in the day, but she also tried to make up for a lot of it as well. Like, tried to improve herself, and help other people out, you know? But I guess what happened is that some people started to take advantage of her somehow. What was the word she used...she kept saying it while she was drinking. It was an English world...'pah-la...'plo-...'. No, no, it was...'play-jher-eests'? Something like that."

Kagura looked at her strangely. "Doesn't sound familiar..." She smirked. "But I'm not exactly the best English student, so..."

Minamo shrugged. "I don't really know what it means either. But it sounded like they used her writing for something, and she didn't like it. I guess whatever happened though...it hurt her really, really bad..."

"Hmm, writing?"

"Yeah, her writing. She..." Minamo paused. "Yukari's never told you guys that she used to write? You know, stories and things like that."

The girl shook her head. "Nope. Like I said, she never talks about herself much."

"Ah...ok. Well...yeah, she used to do a lot of it, and then one day she just stopped. And I think this whole thing has something to do with that, because she used to be _crazy_ about doing it." She ran a hand through her hair, resting her head on her palm afterward. "That's all that I really got out of her then. She said she'd talk to me about it again in a few days, I guess after we get back from this trip, because she just wants to clear her head first. But, still, I haven't been able to really stop it from getting out of the back of my mind, of what's really going on with my friends and her. She's always trying to act as if nothing bothers her, but things do, I know that. Back then..."

The teenager frowned, a sudden hesitancy in her voice now. "Ah...hey..."

"...there would be a lot of times when she'd mention stuff like this to me, about how she felt that no one really liked her, you know? Like a lot of her friends were shallow and stuff with her...but how do I answer that? I mean...it can be hard for others to get along with her because of how she acts..."

"Coach, hold up a sec. Hey..."

"...but she also doesn't deserve a lot of that kind of treatment, either. So I end up doing a lot worrying about her, because she acts so jaded all the time now, and just was-"

The girl put her hands up as if she were trying to ward off some charging animal. "Who, whoa, hey, coach, hold on, hold on!"

Her student's sudden shift in tone surprised her, Kagura sounding quite serious now. "Yes?"

"Umm..." She blew out a breath. "I appreciate...umm, I mean, I think it's really cool that you trust me enough to tell me stuff like this...but..." She smiled at her. "I dunno'. I'm kinda' feelin' like...I'm probably hearing more about Yukari than I should now. I don't think it's, umm...very fair to her, coach."

Minamo looked at her pupil awkwardly, just staring at her for a moment, before she broke out into a bout of chuckling.

The girl eyed her suspiciously. "W-what? What'd I say...?"

"Kagura..." She shook her head a few times, recovering her focus. "Wow...I was really breaking my own rules there. I'm sorry. I'm...I wasn't being a good example to you at all..."

"Ah...w-well, don't worry about it, coach. I didn't mean to interrupt you or anything...it's just..."

"No, no, you're right. I was starting to really gossip there, wasn't I?" She shifted her weight under the blanket. "It's really strange, though. I wasn't even thinking twice about what I was saying. I just really felt like going off about the things that were on my mind. It didn't really feel like you were a student to me at all."

"Err...huh?"

Minamo smiled, catching a hint of resentment in the teenager's murmurs. "I didn't mean that in a bad way, Kagura. How do I explain it...I just always feel very comfortable when I talk to you for some reason. You know...how we talk every day at breaks, and at practices? We really have some good conversations then, don't we?"

"Oh...ok." Kagura's stiffened demeanor began to soften back to what it was. "Yeah...we do." She chuckled. "I guess I just click with you well...which, I guess, is why I told you about my parents and stuff last year in the first place. I kinda' just felt at ease with you."

"...'click with you'?"

"Oh...I mean, like...see, if I started to talk with my friends, about the stuff we talk about, I bore them pretty quickly. Not one of 'em ever knows anything about sports really...like if I start talking to them about my favorite teams, or the stats of a game or something, they just look at me like I'm an idiot."

Minamo stared at her, excitement suddenly ringing into her voice. "That's it! That's exactly what it is!"

Kagura looked at her sensei with confusion. "Err...what's 'it'?"

"What you were just saying. You're probably the only female student I've had that I can really relate to in a lot of ways." She chuckled. "I've never even known another adult woman who I can talk sports and what not like we do, let alone get into the nitty gritty of it all." She shrugged. "It kind of feels like I'm just chatting it up with an old teammate of mine or something when I talk to you, Kagura. We do 'click' well, I think...I even gave you my phone number last year, and I've never done that with _any_ other student before. I just really like talking to you."

The girl looked at her blankly, a halo of sheer delight radiating out from her now. "Ah...ah...yeah! Yeah! Umm, you know, I guess I kinda' feel the same way. I mean...ok, some of the guys in class I can sort of talk to about what we do, but, yeah, not another girl. A couple on the squad are kinda' into what I am, but they don't really follow matches or anything, like, they don't even know whose on any of the national teams, or, like, good places to workout and stuff..."

Minamo smiled warmly at her, the tranquil peace of the night just passing by slowly around them for a minute. "Guess we're just two of a kind. However...you're still right, about me going on about Yukari. I was getting a bit worked up by it all..."

"...is whatever it is really bugging you?"

"...I just always worry about her, Kagura. She's always either causing trouble or getting into it...I don't know. I won't get into things again, but, sometimes I just feel like I'm her mother, more than her actual mom is."

"Well, I don't see why you have to babysit her, coach. I know you wanna' help her out, but she should take care of her own problems, right?"

"I guess...it's just, she's my best friend, and I-"

Kagura burst forth with a sudden laugh. "_What?_ Seriously?"

"W-what's wrong...?"

"She's your _best_ friend? Come on, you're lyin', right?"

Minamo felt a bit of anger come over her. "Well, she is. We've been best friends since high school, as a matter of fact."

The girl took her time in calming down. "...how can you guys be best friends? I mean...it's Yukari..." One last snicker escaped from her. "I know you said you don't like rumors and stuff, but, man, this is like, more than a rumor...all the kids figure you guys were, like, super huge rivals or something from back in the day."

Minamo sighed with some despair. "That's understandable. I'm sure even some of the faculty think that..." She shook her head. "Yukari's just...a little different at work, because she obviously hates going there, so she's usually just grumpy every time you probably see her, so she tends to take that out on me and others there. But outside of work, we get along pretty well...most of the time anyways. She's still herself...but she opens up a bit more when it's just me and her, or when we're with some other very close friends. She always makes us all laugh...that's my favorite part about her. She's the funniest person I've ever met. And, like I said, she does have a nice side, too. She's just too proud to usually show it off."

"No offense, coach, but it's really hard for me to see her as a 'nice' person." Kagura sighed. "If you don't mind me speakin' a little freely here, well...she just seems like a big jackass."

She laughed. "She is. I agree." She thought for a moment then, a smirk sweeping across her face. "I can prove it to you, though, that she can be nice."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Keep this a secret for me, ok?"

"Huh?"

She brought up a wrist. "See this watch?"

Kagura's eyes sparkled with envy. "Oh, yeah! I was always kinda' jealous that you had that Pathfinder."

"Guess who bought it for me?"

The girl looked at her curiously, disbelief slowly washing over her face as the answer came into realization. "Hell, no _way_..."

Minamo laughed. "I keep breaking rules tonight...don't tell anyone! She didn't want anyone to know that she was going 'soft'."

"But...a-are you tellin' me she bought that...with her _own_ money?" Kagura laughed sarcastically. "That...that thing ain't exactly cheap...and why? Why'd she buy it for you?"

"Ah...it was just...we've been friends for a long time, see. So..." She smiled. "She kind of wanted to commererate it all." She looked at her student again. "I know she seems like the type who keeps distant, but...she really does get attached to people, which is why she can do some crazy stuff like this." Her voice came out softly, Minamo whispering to herself. "Which, I guess, might be why she got so upset the other day..."

Kagura just continued to gawk at the watch until her sensei put it away. "...I'm amazed, coach. Like, totally amazed. With all the fightin' you guys do...well..."

"I know..." She shrugged. "Maybe I was kind of loose with what I was saying tonight, because I just wanted to show you how nice Yukari really can be...after you mentioned that people make up rumors about her." Her expression gained a sheepishness to it. "I really do care about how she's always feeling, Kagura. That's my problem right now...I have to know more about what's going on with this particular issue, so I can help her out properly. But I don't know if she's going to bring up the subject again or just avoid things like she usually does...so, I don't know what I should do. I just have t-"

"You're a really kind person, coach."

She blinked at her student. "M-me?"

Kagura nodded genially. "Yeah. You're always making sure you take care of everyone, even the big jerks in class. I think that's why you're so popular at school."

Minamo didn't reply, taken aback by the sudden compliment.

"...but coach...if I can, uh...talk to you like...like a 'teammate' for a sec'."

"...sure?"

"Umm...I think you can be kind of a ball hog sometimes."

Minamo grimaced slightly. "I...I don't understand what you're saying. Sorry."

Kagura smiled at her, and the way that she did had this mature flair to it that she hadn't seen it take on before. "I always hear you say 'I have to' or 'I'll need to', whenever you're talking about helpin' out people. Like, Yukari, in this case. Umm...so..." Her student shrugged. "I think you do more than you should sometimes."

"More than I should...?"

"I mean...I know she's your best friend, but, you know, like, when you're always telling us when we're playing basketball or soccer or something...that we're playing team sports, so, we need to act like a team."

"Yeah..."

"So...do you ever let Yukari take her own shots? You know what I mean?"

"...shots...shots, like on a goal?"

"Yeah! That's what I mean. I think you're..." Kagura laughed. "You're like, the best player on the team, coach, but then, you might do_ too_ much work for everyone, and, umm, you don't let the others take their own chances...and everyone might lose 'cause of that..."

Minamo digested her student's words. "...because I keep asking them to pass it to me all the time?"

Kagura nodded. "Yeah...so, umm, I'm not trying to, like, tell you what to do or anything, but...maybe let Yuraki decide when to shoot? And...if she's on your level, she'll know when to hand it over when she needs your help again for this thing that's goin' on..."

Her student trailed off in her words, Minamo just left staring at her as another small gust of wind sent their hair flailing back for a moment, a gigantic grin spilling across her face as she began to feel a wildfire of pride blaze through her, all of it ignited by this young girl, that had grown up so quickly in only one year's time of knowing her. "You see, Kagura...why it's so easy for me to talk to you?" She took a hand out from under the blanket, placing it on the girl's shoulder. "Because you speak my language."


	23. Part I Chapter 23

**Author's Notes**

Hi hi!

Chapter pic at www. blue-suns .com/warmth (they're numbered by chapter). There are spaces in the URL to avoid the FF block.

Sorry if these come out a little slower again. I'm making an original shoujo-ai story as well now (same format as this one, with pictures and stuff). I'll put a link to it later (it will be on FictionPress) when the first chapter is up, if anyone is interested in it :)

~Mendhi

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything related to Azumanga Daioh. Don't sue me bro!

* * *

Part I

Chapter 23

"So when we headin' back?"

Minamo thought to herself for a moment. "Maybe a little before evening. I don't think traffic will be bad, since most people right now are coming to the beach, not the other way around."

Yukari stretched herself upon the sand, yawning as she crossed a leg over the other, a denim skirt wrapped around them. "Why don't they just move the school out here? I mean, think about it. It's the damn beach! Hell, even I'd like comin' to work if it was out here."

She chuckled. "You know...I'm not going to disagree with you on that one..." She leaned forward, watching the waves as they stopped just a few feet short of where she sat. "But where would we go for vacation, then? We'd be out here already..."

"Every day would be a vacation, then. Duh."

That statement got a laugh out of Minamo, the talk of their work place causing her to take a quick glance behind as she became reminded of something.

_Wonder how they're doing in there..._

She stared off into the distance, towards the summer house that she and Yukari had been staying at the last few days, the rest of the party that they had come along with, their young students, presently toiling away inside of it, the lot of them frantically trying to cram in some last minute studying. While both of the teachers had mostly been enjoying the more pleasant aspects of the coastal excursion, the rest of their crew had been using the free time by catching up on some unfinished homework, their chance to do so now quickly coming to an end as Minamo waited to drive them all back home today in the rented van that had brought them all out here.

Until that moment arrived though, she and Yukari had been more than happy to spend the remainder of the time by loitering on the beach, soaking in some last bits of sun while they still had the opportunity to do so. No real swim wear was needed for it, Minamo herself just sporting some capri pants and simple top, both women figuring that they should be prepared to leave the area whenever the other girls were ready to depart. So, instead of taking any final dips in the water, the pair had just been chatting it up for most of the day, watching the other visitors of the beach go about their own fun, Yukari regularly pointing out who she felt were the ugliest ones, which individuals probably couldn't out-swim any ocean predators, and so forth.

And while her friend's enlightening remarks were beginning to make Minamo feel a little ill, it was still quite enjoyable for her to take in the woman's unique sense of humor, just as she always did. The sounds of the white foam, the chatter from others who occasionally passed them by, all of it provided the perfect backdrop for her to listen to her fellow teacher go on and on as to whatever was on her mind, Yukari appearing to be well at ease in such a relaxing environment.

The delightful banter went on, an hour passing away into the next, until a period of silence came between them, both women now just simply taking in the beautiful ocean scenery at their own luxuries.

_...is it selfish of me to hope that Chiyo takes us out here again next year too? I have to be honest...I'm going to miss coming out here if n-_

"Kurosawa."

Minamo quickly looked over to her companion, Yukari's utterance having come out with a seriousness that was foreign to her. "Y-yeah?"

"Do ya' think I'm an easy person ta' lie to?"

She stared at her awkwardly. "...sorry, what?"

Yukari didn't bother to explain her words, the woman just staring quietly at the sky above as she lay.

_Ok, that was weird..._

Slowly, her gaze returned back to the ocean, Minamo now a bit perturbed by the question that had been asked of her.

"I think I am. People don't mind lyin' to me."

Yukari's voice had come out of the blue once more, Minamo turning back to her with a concerned expression. "...Yukari, what on earth are yo-" She paused, her mind now formulating a guess as to what her friend was talking about. "Ah...Yukari...do you mean...from the other day..."

"If you wanna' listen to me vent for a few, yer' welcome to." She shrugged, her shoulders pushing through the sand. "Figure I should get this all off my chest now. Kinda' easy to do it out here."

Minamo took her time in responding, her thoughts giving a quick nod to her student's advice from the other day. She had anxiously been awaiting another crack at this conversation, to dissect the fury that her old friend had experienced just about a week ago, when the topic of a reunion with some old school mates had been brought up. It was just that burning desire of Minamo, to always show compassion to her closest friend, that had been gnawing away at her the last few days, wanting to make sure that everything was alright with Yukari emotionally. But, thanks to her pupil's words, she had realized that pushing the issue would probably not be in anyone's best interests, the woman probably needing time to just let some things digest properly before she was able to talk about them again.

_Just let her set the pace...don't push her on anything. Just take it easy. _"Of course I'll listen to you...tell me whatever you want, Yukari."

A minute passed. "So...I guess I kinda' over did it last time. I barely even remember us goin' out the other day."

Minamo gave her a kind smile. "You did drink a lot..."

"Sorry."

"...don't worry about it. But...yeah...whatever you want to talk about...just go for it."

Her friend hesitated again, almost as if she were planning out everything that she was saying now. "I think I'm a sucker."

"...ok...?"

"I mean...I don't think people care...if they lie to me or not. I just always get that feelin', Minamo. I'm pretty sure it's true. People always think I'm just some stupid dipshit. And then I end up buyin' whatever they say, 'cause I'm pretty damn pathetic."

"...is this something that you've been thinking over lately? Does this have something to do with...what happened?"

"I just never talked to you 'bout this before. 'cause I didn't wanna'."

"...ok, but, I don't understand what you're really telling me, though. I remember last time...you said you felt robbed about something. What's this have to do with any of that?"

"It's...those fuc-..." Yukari took a deep breath, and then called off the names that had ignited her rage a week ago. "I guess I should explain this from the beginnin'. Last year of high school...I tried to join the writin' club. I thought I'd get some feedback on doin' the author thing."

"You tried to join a club? You...never told me about that. I thought you hated clubs."

"Yeah, I did. But...our school had a pretty well known one, remember? Figured it'd be a good idea to get some real critiques on my stuff, and those guys were all in it already. Was our last year so figured it'd be tough to get in, but since I knew 'em I thought they'd put in a good word for me. Anyways, I showed them some stuff, and they said they'd ask the head girls if they could get me in. But they said they didn't like it, so I didn't, 'cause they were all picky about who they let in or somethin', 'cause lots of people wanted in."

"...those guys said 'no'? Or the club leaders?"

"They said the leaders didn't like what I wrote. But those other guys were still nice to me though. They kept sayin' they would look at my stuff for me and help me out anyways. Like they were actually my friends." She began to laugh sarcastically. "You don't know how good that made me feel, Kurosawa. Like they were lookin' out for me, like they actually cared and shit, ya'know?"

"W-what's so funny?"

"I am. I'm hilarious, 'cause I bought their whole fuckin' act like an idiot."

Minamo blinked in surprise, her friend's words coming out so dryly now, not a touch of emotion to them. "Act...? What happened?"

"I found out, after we all graduated, that they never showed my stories to anyone in the club. Not a damn one. Ya' know why? 'cause they didn't want me in to begin with. I'm just a stupid loudmouth dumbass to them. Who wants someone like that around? They were puttin' me on the whole time."

"What...? But...how did you find out? Did someone tell you that?"

"One of the leaders did, before we started college. Was kind of a chance meetin', and she said they never saw anythin' of mine. But she knew who I was, though, 'cause those guys kept tellin' 'em about this one stupid girl to avoid, if she ever asked about joinin'. Yeah, guess who they were talkin' about?"

Minamo frowned, looking down at her friend with pity. "I think I get the picture. But...they were being nice to you still anyways? I mean...if they didn't want you in, then, it sounds like they didn't like you to begin with..."

Yukari winced, her body quite visibly tensing up with anger, the woman doing her best to control herself. "Story of my fuckin' life."

"Hey..."

"They didn't like me. They just liked the stuff I wrote."

"What you wrote?"

"This was what I was tryna' tell ya' last time..." She took a moment to calm down again, her ire bubbling to the surface of her persona. "You know why they kept on bein' nice to me, and kept lookin' at my stuff for me? 'cause they liked it. In fact, they liked it so much that they took my damn endings and shit and put 'em in their own stuff."

"_What?_"

"That club leader clued me in. I was tellin' her about some of the stuff I wrote, and she said it sounded familiar. Then she remembered those other girls, and how they won some contests or whatever. Yeah, guess how they did it." Yukari pointed a thumb at herself. "Just pasted my shit in there pretty much, 'cause their own writin' was shit I figured."

Minamo's jaw dropped. "Oh my gosh...are you serious? Yukari...did you tell anyone then? That they stole your ideas?"

"I told that girl I was talkin' to, but she didn't believe me. I mean, why should she? I never had a good rep with anyone. And all I had was just some old notebook with the same stories, and that don't mean shit. That's not proof to get me anywhere." Her voice picked up in cadence. "They were never my damn friends. Most people weren't. Everyone just fuckin' put up with me or got somethin' outta me, then just bulls-"

She put a hand on her friend's shoulder. "Hey, hey, settle down. Don't get worked up...you're starting to yell now."

The woman obeyed her easily enough, a few more exhalations of fury escaping from her until she lay still again.

Minamo breathed out a sigh of relief, some people that had passed by them having looked over to see what the commotion was about. "...I'm sorry, Yukari. I had no idea of any of that ever happening to you. I wouldn't...I wouldn't have ever called them if I had known any of that..."

"...yeah, I know."

She shook her head sadly. "You know...I should have figured something had gone on between you guys. I've talked to them a few times over the years, but, now that I think about it, they never really asked about you at all, and I was always under the impression that you guys were all friends as well." She sighed. "And you never mentioned them either...I'm so stupid. I'm sorry. I really should have checked into this."

"Nah...it's not your fault at all."

"...Yukari...can I just ask you...just give me a simple answer, because you always avoided this topic whenever I talked to you about it. Are they the reason why you stopped writing after we graduated?"

Her friend didn't respond, Yukari wrapping her arms around her knees, clasping her hands together as she rocked to and fro on her back.

"...it is, isn't?"

The woman remained quiet, her brow furrowed heavily, and Minamo saw that she was thinking quite hard about something now.

"Hey..."

"Just reminds me of school too much. I hated it. Just a lot of shitty memories fer' me."

"...what do you mean? Do you mean...when you tried to write...?"

No answer again, but her friend's face easily displayed the storm of thoughts that were thundering inside of her head now.

Minamo sighed. _So that's it...poor thing. _"Yukari...I know that you didn't exactly have the best time in school. But...look, don't get angry at what I'm about to say, ok? I'm only telling you this because I think you need to make sure that you're looking at reality here first. You have to be a little bit honest...that sometimes, you yourself did some pretty mean things to the other kids. Right?"

Yukari frowned, ceasing her rocking motions. "...I guess."

"Ok. So...some of those people were just naturally afraid of you. You can't be mad at them for feeling like that. Those kids that avoided you, or didn't want you around...I think you can understand why."

The woman didn't speak, just looking sour now.

"...however, I know a lot of them weren't exactly nice to you either. Like how some of our...umm, 'friends' treated you. But...you shouldn't have let those bad times get to you. You still have friends...I'm still here with you, right? And...you really are a good writer." She chuckled. "Good enough that others have wanted to steal from you, yeah?"

Yukari smiled weakly.

Minamo grinned as well. "So...Yukari, despite what happened...I think that you should get back into your hobby, then. I know it must hurt, bu-"

"It doesn't hurt."

"W-what...?"

"It's..." The woman shook her head a few times. "That's not what it is. I...don't like how it feels. Maybe it does hurt. But...that's not the reason. It's..." She looked up to the sky, pointing towards it. "I was thinkin' 'bout this the last hour, when I was just layin' down. And that's when I realized...it's like that."

"What's 'like that'?"

"The sun."

She took a quick glance towards the celestial object in question, its bright rays causing her to squint and look quickly away. "What about it?"

"When ya' look at it. You can't see nothin'. Yer' blind. You just see white."

She looked at the woman awkwardly. "...ok...and?"

"That's how I felt, whenever I tried to write after high school, or just think of anythin' that happened back then...from when I was a kid, when people...whenever I trusted 'em." Disdain entered her voice. "That's what it is. You think you have a fuckin' friend and they turn on you...and it pisses me off...it pisses me off so much. 'cause they never wanted to be around you. I wanted be around them, but...they were just foolin' me...and then I start scarin' myself..."

Minamo's eyes opened wider with surprise, Yukari sounding so sad now. "Scared...? What are you scared of?"

"Me."

"...Yukari. I'm not...I'm not following...sorr-"

"I couldn't see you at all, Minamo."

She was starting to become a little shocked at her friend's shift in attitude now, Yukari looking so worried, caught in a distraught state that was so unnatural for her to be in. "Hey...what's wrong? Yo-"

"When you said their names...all I saw was those liar's faces...just their stupid, ugly fuckin' faces. And then everythin' just turned white. And I just remember yellin'...I thought I was yellin' at them. But it wasn't them, Minamo, 'cause it was you on the couch." She paused, sighing heavily, her head shaking back and forth. "Then I almost did it...I almost fuckin' did it..."

"Did...did wh-"

"I was dead set on beatin' the shit outta' you."

She stared at her friend blankly, the woman's words completely shutting down her train of thought.

Yukari grimaced, a raw pain evident in it. "I don't know why...it just felt like...I was afraid that you were like them for some reason. But I didn't know what was goin' on...I just wanted to hurt someone. I dunno' why I feel like that. I dunno' know what to do when I'm angry. I don't know what the fuck I'm ever doin' when I get mad. And then, I just saw you sittin' there, and...yeah..."

Minamo sat still as could be, not having a clue as to why she was doing so at all, a terrible silence coming between herself and Yukari, neither woman making a sound for the longest of times.

"Am I scarin' you?"

"...why are you...why are you telling me this?"

Yukari sat up slowly, trickles of sand falling down from her hair, and then wrapped her arms around her knees. "'cause..." She paused, mulling something over. " I was thinkin' these last few days, of how much stupid shit you stopped me from doin' back then. Just 'cause you told me not to..." She shook her head. "I dunno'. It was like the other day. When I heard you gettin' scared...I remembered where I was. And I was thinkin' bout why that happened."

"Why what...?"

"Why I didn't hit you."

She stared at her again, not making a peep.

Yukari put her chin on her knees. "Yer' the only person whose always been honest with me, Kurosawa. So...I dunno'...I wanna' do the same fer' you, too. Just whatever I'm feelin'...I wanna' tell you, 'cause I wanna' trust you back." She shrugged. "I know I never been a fuckin' angel to you or nothin'...but I never wanna' do somethin' like that to you. That's why I'm tellin' you about this, 'cause I don't wanna' hide anythin' from you. I don't...I don't wanna' fuck up with you, like I did with other people...'cause you're the only one I ever really hear when I lose it."

"...you trust me, huh?"

The woman looked at her with caution, Minamo's words coming out a bit rushed. "Yeah..."

"Then...you don't have to say anything like that. You don't have to, ok? I know you get mad sometimes. You don't have to explain it to me. If you really trust me, then you'll know I'll understand anyways."

"...uh...are you ok?"

Minamo nodded hurriedly, just vaguely aware of the anxiety in her words now, speaking as if she we were forcing them out. "I'm fine. Look, I'm glad you talked to me about this. I think we just need to forget about what happened now, though. You need to forget that stuff in the past as well. So, let's just forgive and forget, and move on. Yeah? Ok?"

"Uh..." Yukari tilted her head with suspicion. "Alright...um, thanks fer' listening."

"I always listen to you...but...for now, go check on the girls, ok? They might be almost ready to go."

The woman eyed her strangely, hesitantly getting up as she dusted sand off herself. "...so, what, I shouldn't have told you that?"

Minamo sighed. "It's...look, don't worry about it. I'm glad you're being honest with me. I don't mind...I don't." She looked up at her friend, smiling. "Just promise me that you won't get angry like that again, ok? I don't like seeing you like that, because that's not how I like to think of you. And don't worry about how people treated you back then...you're grown up now, so you shouldn't let that all get to you. You have a job and everything now, so just don't worry about anything, because none that past stuff matters now."

It took a moment, but a sense of relief coursed visibly through out Yukari's body. "Yeah...ok." She turned around, starting to walk off as she waved. "Gonna' stretch the ol' legs a bit, then I'll head up there. Thanks, Nyamo."

She didn't respond, her friend out of ear shot now as she just watched her slowly move along the beach, the grin that she had put on for her quickly becoming weighted.

_'...trust you...'_

Her teeth ground together.

_Why'd you have to say something like that? You've never said that before...why? I don't..._

She hugged her knees tightly, feeling a chill overtake her, despite the heat that fell from above.

_I don't want to hear it..._

It was a strange feeling that Minamo was experiencing now, a cocktail of emotions. A part of her, having heard those words from her best friend, had become absolutely delighted, latching on to them like a child that had grabbed the hand of its parent, becoming ecstatic by just feeling their unyielding adoration.

But that sense of glee, that happiness of hearing Yukari show her faith in her, had lasted for only a moment, its entirety having now plunged headfirst into a dark, bottomless well of guilt.


	24. Part I Chapter 24

**Author's Notes**

Hey :)

Comments, grammar checks, and critiques are welcome :)

~Mendhi

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything related to Azumanga Daioh. Don't sue me bro!

* * *

Part I

Chapter 24

The drive back to the city had been a quiet one for Minamo so far, the rest of the passengers in the van having fallen asleep shortly after their departure from the beach. It was close to evening now and her young students had worn themselves out today, at least on an intellectual level. All of them had been working quite hard at finishing their summer home work before their return, the girls now resting comfortably in the back seats as they took in some well deserved shuteye.

She brought the vehicle to a stop, waiting to merge onto a highway that would take them back to the city, and glanced over to the seat beside her, Yukari snoring loudly in it.

_...no...I didn't...I never would..._

Once again, it assaulted her, the terrible anxiety that had been pestering her since that strange chat upon the shore, Minamo cringing as the pain of it shot through her.

_Dammit'...come on..._

A breath of frustration jettisoned out.

_Why can't I let this go already? I didn't do anything wrong...I never have...to you..._

Her stare went back to the road, a stream of fears continuing to trickle out from some cracks that had formed in the walls of her heart, the conversation with Yukari from earlier in the day having blitzed it with unrelenting force. The woman had done something that was a rarity for her to do, letting forth her emotions and thoughts so openly towards her, admitting some of her weaknesses regarding her anger problems, and of how they had almost caused her to hurt the person that she had confessed that she was the most devoted to.

But yet, for Minamo, the reality of her friend injuring her somehow wasn't what had truly rattled her, what had begun this unwinding of her mental health. Instead, what had been eating at her so badly since then, that was now actively tearing away at her sense of self, was the sheer, brutal honesty in which Yukari had told her everything with.

_'...trust you...'_

The force of the worries increased, streaming out into her mind even more intensely now.

_Why did you say that...why did you have to say that? Of all the people I know...you...you've never said that...in all these years. Why...why...why...?_

It was that then, Yukari's declaration of the confidence that she had in her best friend's integrity, that was now slowly driving Minamo insane with memories.

* * *

_"Hey, senpai!"_

_Minamo turned around, zipping up her running jacket as a few of her juniors strolled across the field towards her. "Hey! Good job out there today, guys."_

_The group that now surrounded her all smiled cheerfully, the bunch being comprised of a set of younger girls who were also a part of the cross-country club that she had signed up for, their session for the day just finishing up. Minamo was in her final year of high school, and the fine athletic reputation that she had developed over the years here had earned her a bit of following, her fans regularly coming to chat it up with her after practices were done, as they were once again doing. _

_A somewhat grey sky overlooked them all as they stood around the track, sipping on water bottles as they began to engage in some small talk. Most of it centered around the usual: how well the day's practice had gone, the upcoming meet, of how they knew that Minamo would perform amazingly in it, just like she always did, their praise causing her to blush profusely._

_Soon, however, the topic at hand changed course, to a matter which was outside the realm of sports. _

_"So, umm, senpai...we all kinda' wanted to ask you something..."_

_"Sure! What's up?"_

_The students looked at one another, apparently deciding as to who should keep the dialogue going. "Yeah...well...we just wanted to know...you're friends with that one third year, right? Tanizaki?"_

_"...yes. Why?"_

_"You know what happened yesterday, right?"_

_Minamo sighed. "...I know, yeah. She got into a fight. Everyone's been asking me about it..."_

_"We figured. Lots of people have been talking about it. The story is that she and an upperclassmen got in an argument over something, and Tanizaki ended up sluggin' her."_

_Another girl spoke. "I heard she beat her up good! That's why she's not here today, huh? She got in a major trouble, huh?"_

_Minamo felt her temper rise. "Yeah, she did. But, it's not any of our business, is it? Just leave it alone." She stooped over, picking up her bag as she prepared to leave. "Anyways, I need to get home and shower..."_

_"W-wait, senpai..."_

_"Yeah! We came to talk to you about it because..."_

_Her juniors traded glances with each other again, one of them finally overcoming the hesitancy that had taken them. "...we've been talking about this for awhile, senpai. We're...we're all really worried about you."_

_Minamo turned back to them, a dubious look in her eyes. "About what exactly?"_

_"...about...how you always hang out with her."_

_"So?"_

_"Senpai...don't you think she's kind of bad company to be with?"_

_She glared at the girl who had just spoken. "No, I don't think so."_

_"But she's always starting trouble with everyone!"_

_"No she doesn't! She's...she's not a bad person. Other people just...they don't treat her well, and she gets mad..."_

_The girls chuckled. "Come on, senpai...she's just a jerk to everyone...that's why everyone avoids her."_

_Minamo tightened her fists. "She's not a jerk."_

_"Listen, senpai...please don't get mad. Maybe you guys are friends or whatever, but..." The girl who was talking sighed. "Like I said...we're all worried about you. It's just not us, but, the other kids as well. We don't want to see you get dragged into anything with her..."_

_She folded her arms, assuming an aggravated posture. "What do you mean, 'dragged'?"_

_"...you're way to good of a person to be hanging out with someone like her, senpai."_

_"She's a nut case..."_

_"She's going to do the same to you one day too, senpai!"_

_Minamo looked over to the student who had just blurted out those words. "Do what...?"_

_"Hurt you, like she did to that other kid."_

_"Senpai...all that Tanizaki brat does is cause trouble for people. That's the second fight she's got into this year...and we all heard that she's always been like that. We're just really worried that she might do something like that to you someday as well, since you're always around her..."_

_"You're just being nice to her, right, senpai? Because she doesn't have any real friends, right?"_

_"Why does it matter why I'm friends with her? Look, I understand what you guys are saying, but please, don't worry about me."_

_"Come on...that kid just does what she wants, senpai. We've seen her get mad at you, too. What if she goes overboard, like she just did yesterday? That..."_

_Someone else interrupted. "Wasn't the girl she beat up her 'friend' too?"_

_"Yeah! They were hanging out together lately as well...senpai, please just think about what we're telling you! We're talking to you about this because...you know...everyone on the team really loves you. Maybe you don't realize it, but, you're a big inspiration to us..."_

_"And...if something ever happened to you because of that dumbas-"_

_Minamo put a hand up, stopping the conversation. "I don't want to hear it. Look, she did something stupid, ok? We all make mistakes. She won't do anything like that to me anyways, so just drop it."_

_"But how do you know?"_

_"She won't." Minamo spun around, walking off with haste. "She's your senior in any case, so you all should really show more respect to her. Bye."_

_"Senpai..."_

_"Wait...!"_

_She took a few more steps and then paused, tossing a half-look behind her, a kind smile on her face and softness in her voice. "Look, guys...I appreciate the concern. But, really, please don't worry about me. I know Yukari pretty well. We've been good friends for a few years, so I'll be perfectly fine. Ok, guys?"_

_The girls all stared at her anxiously, no one speaking for a few moments. "...I guess you know what you're doing, senpai."_

_Minamo fully turned around, giving them the most pleasant expression in her arsenal, and took contentment in seeing them all melt a bit from it. "I'll be fine. Thank you for the consideration, though. I'll see you guys later. Take care!"_

_She made her exit then, taking a couple of minutes to cross the length of the campus then, her brisk pace quickly taking her to the area in which the bike racks were located. Once there, she retrieved her own ride, plopping herself onto the seat while adjusting her bag upon her, and was just about to take off when she felt a tug on her sleeve._

_"Senpai..."_

_She looked behind her, one of the girls who she had just seen on the field now gazing straight at her, Minamo recalling that this particular individual hadn't said anything at all earlier. "Hey...what's wrong? I didn't even notice you coming this way."_

_Her junior bowed politely. "I'm sorry to keep you here still, but...there's something that I wanted to talk to you about myself."_

_The girl's subdued tone began to worry her. "...ok, sure. What is it?"_

_The student hesitated, placing her hands into the pockets of her track suit. "...umm, well, first...I don't think...I don't think Yukari is a bad person, either."_

_Minamo's eyes opened in surprise. "R-really...?"_

_"Yeah...I'm not saying she's the nicest person, though...just...I just think she gets misunderstood a lot of the time. I know I don't know her very well since I'm new to the school...but...I just didn't want you to think...that I don't like her, like how the others don't. I'm..." She bowed again. "I'm sorry that they were saying those mean things about her."_

_She smiled warmly. "N-no...that's ok. Don't apologize for them. But...that's a really nice thing for you to say." She sighed. "So many people look down on Yukari...I just don't like hearing that kind of talk about her. She's my friend, and, you know, I want to watch out for her..."_

_"Like she does for you, right?"_

_"W-what?"_

_The girl stood up straight again. "Umm...about yesterday...that's what I wanted to talk you about."_

_"...what about yesterday?"_

_"That fight that Yukari got in after school...I know she followed that girl after classes were out. That's when she beat her up." She looked away. "I know why she did, too."_

_"What? How...do you know all that? Were you there?"_

_"No, I wasn't. But my sister heard them arguing about something yesterday during school."_

_Minamo stared at her blankly, her mouth now becoming strangley dry as her smile weakened. "O-oh...yeah?"_

_"...umm, you were there too, right? When they were arguing. My sister said that...that girl was yelling at you..."_

_She stayed silent, looking down at the ground now._

_____Her junior frowned. "...that girl made fun of you, didn't she?"_

_____Minamo bit her lip._

_____"Senpai...I promise I won't tell anyone about this. I haven't told anyone anyways! Only me and my sis know what happened, and we won't tell anyone! I swear! We don't care if it's true or not, anyways."_

_____"...if what's true?"_

_____"That stuff...that girl was saying about you."_

_____She spoke slowly. "I don't know what you're talking about..."_

_____The girl's tone became slightly distraught. "Senpai...I'm sorry to get into your personal stuff, but, I just want you to know...I still think you're the coolest. I don't care how you are. You're so cool...you're the coolest person I know. And...you really mean a lot to everyone...so...I just wanted to let you know, that...I know I'm just a first year, but, I'll always help you out too if you need, like Yukari does, because I hate to see people be mean to yo-"_

_____"She doesn't help me with anything. I really don't have any idea what you're talking about."_

_____"But...that girl..." Her junior paused, thinking something over. "Senpai, my sister said that girl...yesterday, she called you a..."_

_____The next word came out from the student's lips then, one that carried a tremendous weight with it, her meek utterance still somehow sounding as loud as thunder._

_____For a few seconds, neither of them moved or spoke, the entire world now having become frozen to Minamo, as if the planet itself had come to a complete stop. Time had died, nothing was progressing, nothing seemed to matter to her anymore, nor had ever mattered._

_____And then she started to scream._

_____"No she didn't! She didn't call me anything!"_

_Her junior backed up in alarm, Minamo having become absolutely furious. "Whoa...! Hey, senp-"_

_"Why'd you come here, just to say something stupid like that? Why would anyone call me that? How could you think she did?"_

_"L-listen...that's why Yukari jumped her after school, right? Because that girl was picking on y-"_

_"I don't know why she did! Yukari...she's...she's just crazy!"_

_"But...she's not, sh-"_

_"Just leave me alone!"_

_With great haste, Minamo raced off on her bike, pedaling with a frantic energy that was being fueled by the sheer terror that now flowed throughout her entire body._

* * *

Her hands gripped the wheel tightly, the tiniest beads of sweat sliding down upon it.

_Why...why...?_

Minamo looked over at Yukari, her gaze burning into the woman as she continued to doze peacefully.

_I didn't lie to you. I told you the truth. I did...I really did..._

The brake pedal felt the full force of her foot, Minamo smothering it into the van's floor with all of her might.

_That time...you were just my friend...my only real friend..._

Inside of her mind, the leaking of her sanity continued on, the small cracks that had formed from earlier today now growing larger and larger as she felt herself losing control. Spilling forth from those structural defects, corroding the grip that Minamo had on her immediate reality, was a toxic mix of doubts, of fears, of denials, of shames, all of it now seeping deeper into her consciousness, contaminating the sparkling image that she always had of herself, of everything that she had always believed herself to be, that she wanted to be.

Into the depths of her being it all went, staining everything along the way, scorching her insides like acid, burning her, burning, burning, burning...

_I'm not..._

Somewhere inside of her, a spark lit up.

_I'm not..._

It touched that lethal mixture that had pooled together, and for a moment, she held her breath, feeling absolutely no emotion now, no sense of awareness, no anything...

...until it all exploded.

_You fucking idiot!_

With delirious force, Minamo began to whip her head back and forth madly, her bangs flying around furiously as she desperately tried to rid her mind of some internal agony, some horrible, torturous pain that was roaring through out it now. The suffering she was experiencing from it was unbearable, and she started to gasp for breaths as if the life were being choked out from her, perspiration streaming across her face as her seat rocked with her motions.

_Why did I do that? Why did I ever write that? Why, why, why, why, why...argh! Get out! Go away, go away, go away, go away, go away, go away...! They'll...they'll see you..._

She looked up into the rear view mirror, catching the sight of her pupils bulging widely, her entire face an absolute mess as strands of hair stuck to her damp skin, corpse-like since the color of it had faded away, Minamo now on the very edge of hysteria.

_Shit...shit...they hate me...look at you...they're going to hate you...if they see you...they all know...they're just...lying...shit...shit...shi-_

Her forehead banged against the wheel, and she began to twist her skin against it.

_All the time...all the time...they knew...that's why everyone hates me...especially...especially..._

She sat up again, her jaw shivering.

_I have to run. That's all I can do. I'll go home. I'll go home, and I'll quit. Then I can run. From everyone. And then...and then she'll..._

_*smack*_

She stared at her own hand.

_What...?_

The sting on her cheek was barely noticeable, Minamo not even having been aware of the slap that she had just given herself.

_Wait..._

Against the flow of all that she had been going through, her berserk actions now finally began to slow down, her ragged breathing settling, her face gradually returning back to its normal state.

_No one hates you...no one...calm down...you've been through this before...just calm down..._

She became still.

_That's right...just calm down. That's not you. Not at all. Forget about it. Let it go. Nothing ever happened. You've always been the same. You're imagining things. You're just imagining things._

Her stare went to the mirror again, and in it, she saw her old, familiar demeanor return, a perfectly friendly smile decorating it.

_There we go._

She looked back to the road then, the raging commotion that had been going on inside of her mind now having completely vanished, the tears in her consciousness caked over and repaired. The momentary breakdown that she had just struggled through seemed to have never occurred at all now, no one else in the van having seen it happen as they continued to slumber on, blissfully unaware of the bout of dementia that had just taken place in their vicinity.

The light on the traffic signal shifted to green, and she brought the vehicle into motion again.

_What should I get for dinner today? I don't want to make anything. Maybe I'll get some take out, or..._

Her thoughts went on like that, assuming such a common tone now, filled with nothing but the normal fare of what usually went on in her mind. Everything that had just happened, every memory she had recalled today, every morose feeling she had experienced while talking to Yukari on the beach, all of that was forgotten now, locked away safely into the vault.

And once again, she was Minamo Kurosawa, a perfectly ordinary, well mannered individual who had become a teacher at her old high school, whose life had mostly gone according to plan, outside of yet finding a husband.


	25. Part I Chapter 25

**Author's Notes**

Hello!

Will have a pic for the next chapter!

~Mendhi

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything related to Azumanga Daioh. Don't sue me bro!

* * *

Part I

Chapter 25

_You know everything about me._

_Do you realize how scared that makes me?_

_I want to escape so badly. I want to hide from your eyes. I don't want you to see me._

_Because it hurts so much when you look at me._

_I feel so naked...whenever you're around._

_..._

_You really do know everything...yet..._

_...you're still so blind._

_Is it really...is it really...because...you're actually the good one? _

_The honest one?_

_The pure one?_

_And I'm...just..._

_..._

_Why?_

_Why does it hurt...?_

_It's excruciating...this pain..._

_..._

_I'm completely terrified of you._

_That's why I keep running away._

_So, why, then, why...why do I always..._

_...why do I always keep going back to you anyways?_

* * *

Minamo leaned down over the table, mindlessly stirring the cup of coffee that was before her.

_...well, still, it could have gone a lot worse, I guess. __I mean, we had an ok time, didn't we? It wasn't like he was a jerk or anything...geez, am I at the point where I should start lowering my standards?_

She took a deep sigh as her gaze wandered off to the sky, looking up past the city buildings that surrounded her as she sat in the courtyard of a small sidewalk cafe. The day was a cool August one, consisting of an unusual temperature for this time of year, but the odd weather wasn't of much concern to Minamo at the moment. Right now, her attention was still focused upon what had occurred about an hour ago, when another attempt to bring some romance into her life had quite casually fizzled out.

_I don't really feel too bad about it, though. That's good at least. I mean, it was a mutual thing..._

Her eyes closed, Minamo relaxing herself as she once again went over the details of the lunch date that she had just recently engaged in, the meeting a product of her mother's design.

About a year had passed since her twenty-eighth birthday had come and gone, when that tough conversation regarding her marital status had taken place with her parent. At that time, Ms. Kurosawa had not-so-subtly persuaded her daughter to become a bit more serious when it came to finally landing a husband, taking it upon herself to introduce her to a few eligible work associates as the days had gone by. The particular gentlemen that she had met today had been the latest one, someone whom she had been seeing on and off for the last week, and, while they had enjoyed some decent moments, any possibility of spending a future together had already come to an end.

When it came down to it, the intricacies of their personalities just simply hadn't meshed all that well. The guy in question had been nice enough, with a pleasant face and demeanor, but that zest that Minamo had always looked for in her relationships just wasn't there to be found. Overall, her date had been a bit of a stock character, one of those conventional business-minded, proper types, of whom seemed to blend in so easily among some of the other banal men that Minamo had gone out with in the past. It wasn't as if she had anything personal against that particular breed, but as far as carving out a lasting happiness together was concerned, he had just proved to be a bit_ too_ 'adult' to really have any sort of incredible time with.

And so, she had very politely called off any further engagements with him, Minamo having been somewhat relieved when she found that he had been planning to do the same as well, sparing her of any departing drama. Both parties had felt the lack of any real connection, and so while the dismissal itself had gone down well enough, she was still a bit disappointed from knowing that her search for true love would continue on for yet another day.

_Ah, well..._

She took another bite from the brownie she had ordered, washing it down with a sip of coffee. The sugar and caffeine rush helped downplay her usual post-relationship heartache somewhat, the indulgences a part of Minamo's plan in order to keep her spirits up afterwards, and a peek at her watch signaled that it was just about time to enact the next step.

_She should be awake by now. But then again it's Sunday...she could be in bed until work tomorrow..._

Minamo took out her phone from a pocket, her fingers going across the digital keypad.

_*tap tap tap*_

The text message went out, and within a few minutes, the recipient responded to it.

_Yay!_

She stared down at the device, grinning merrily, both her lunch date and the light spell of discouragement that she had suffered now having become completely forgotten.

_What should I get us to eat when she comes over? Oh...I bet she'd love some pizza! Something out of the norm..._

They traded a few more texts, Minamo finalizing the details for spending another fun evening together with her old friend Yukari. The woman had agreed to visit her place within a few hours, bringing some alcohol along with her, while Minamo herself would be providing the food, in addition to picking up a flick for them to watch during their feast.

Within another minute, everything had been set, and so after stuffing the remaining pieces of brownie into her mouth, she got out of her seat, thanked the waitress who had served her, and then began to make her way home with haste.

* * *

She placed the vacuum back into the closest, Minamo giving her apartment a quick look-over, and then felt some pride in seeing how clean and organized it all was now. Yukari would be arriving soon, and, while Minamo wasn't exactly trying to show off her sparkling abode to her, she still did genuinely enjoy providing an uncluttered atmosphere for any guest that came over.

_Well...it will last like this for a little while, anyways. Before she starts drinking..._

Content with everything then, she went and sat down on the couch, taking a bit of a breather as she rested, and then looked over at the entrance way in surprise as a knock sounded from it.

_Whoa! She's kind of early. Must be pretty hungry..._

A smile lit her face, Minamo tossing a quick glance over to the boxed pizza that sat on her table, ready to be devoured, and then got up gingerly as she hurried over to the front door.

"Coming, coming!"

With excitement she undid the lock on the handle, pulling it open with eagerness.

"Hey there! You cam-"

She staggered backwards.

"What...m-...m-...?"

"Hello, Minamo." Ms. Kurosawa stepped inside without invitation, slamming the door behind her with an authority that shook the entire building. "We need to talk."


	26. Part I Chapter 26

**Author's Notes**

Hello!

Chapter pic in my profile. The URL is there; unfortunately the FF block on websites is even more strict now, so, it just eats up any link that I put in actual documents now :( Sorry for the roundabout way of getting there.

~Mendhi

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything related to Azumanga Daioh. Don't sue me bro!

* * *

Part I

Chapter 26

Her mother brushed by her, walking into the heart of her apartment. "Come over here."

Minamo barely heard her, just gawking at the door.

_Why...why in the world is she...?_

"_Come over here._"

The command plowed through the mess of her frazzled senses, Minamo's focus finally recovering from the shock of seeing her mother arrive at her home from out of the blue. "M-...mom...? What are you doing here? You never come by like thi-"

"I was in the neighborhood. Now, get over here. We're going to discuss something."

"Discuss..." She walked slowly over to her parent, an old, familiar dread beginning to shoot through her chest. "...discuss what? You...you didn't even let me know you were comi-"

"I knew that you'd be home with nothing to do, so there was no point."

Minamo felt the sting of the insult. "...hey...what are you imp-"

Ms. Kurosawa pointed towards the living room table, a few chairs about it. "Go sit down there."

"Mom...what is going on? Please tel-"

"Sit down."

"...look, this is _my_ apartment, and just telling me wh-"

"Sit down."

"...no! You need to firs-"

"_Sit. Down._"

Minamo's eyes opened in alarm, her mother's cool, cultured voice having just taken on this terrible fierceness, the level of intimidation in it enough to completely flatten her will to argue.

She moved over to one of the chairs, quietly taking a seat.

Her mother took a moment to herself, appearing to think something over as she peered out of the balcony window, and then cast her gaze down towards her daughter. "I spoke with him an hour ago."

Minamo looked at her hesitantly. "Who...?"

The name of the man that she had seen at lunch was mentioned.

"_What?_ But...why?"

"I asked him to keep me updated on how well you two were getting along."

"...why?"

"_Think_, Minamo. You tell me why."

A few seconds passed, Minamo's eyes just meeting her mother's for a split moment before she tore them away, unable to withstand the woman's condemning glare.

_She's mad...really, really mad..._

Her hands rubbed together nervously, Minamo trying her hardest to keep her composure together as she felt her mother's anger envelope her. She hadn't seen this side of her in a good while, the two of them having gotten along rather well since their last major argument, when Ms. Kurosawa had taken the initiative to try and patch up their soured relationship. But now, it seemed as if all that mending had just suddenly become undone, the woman not displaying even the slightest trace of the good nature that Minamo had gotten used to as of late. Her regal, wizened face, the sophisticated way in which she stood and moved, all of it belied the sheer fury that was now emanating from underneath, her rage most visible through the locus of her eyes.

And it was those eyes, those wearing-looking, gray-blue eyes, the same color that Minamo herself had inherited, that had now begun to completely terrify her. The blazing fire inside of them, their piercing intelligence, their ability to somehow see and know everything...

_...I hate it when she looks at me like this. I hate it. I hate i-_

"_Tell me why._"

Minamo cringed. "I don't...I don't know..."

"_Of course you do. Don't be ignorant._"

She felt herself reel, her mother's words hitting her like the toughest punches from a prizefighter. "...I guess...I-"

"_Look at me when you speak._ You're not a child, are you?"

_A...child...?_

_"Are you?"_

Her pride began to bleed, Minamo looking back towards her while avoiding direct eye contact. "N-o...no..."

"_Then do not act like one. Now, answer me._"

"...I...you asked him to call you, since...since..."

"Since what?"

"...since...you thought...that things might not work out for us."

Ms. Kurosawa nodded approvingly. "And why would I think that?"

"Because...I...I don't know..."

"_Yes you do._"

Minamo jumped in her seat, her mother's voice gaining even more power now, and she began to hastily spit out her words as if she had just been broken in a confession. "Maybe...maybe because things didn't work out with those other guys either."

"Precisely." Ms. Kurosawa began to pace back and forth across the floor. "He was the third one that I've introduced to you since last year. And do you know what he told me? He said that you found him 'boring'."

"...well, he was."

"Just like the others."

"W-what...?"

"Each of the men that I've introduced to you so far, you've said the same thing. You found them all 'boring'."

She looked at her mother in surprise. "What? Who...who told you that?"

"Minamo, one of them is an employee of mine, and the others are acquaintances. You don't think that we converse with each other on the chances that we meet?"

"But...that's not...that's not any of your busine-"

"Should I _not_ ask about how their relations with my own daughter have been going?"

"I...err..."

Her mother stopped in front of her, staring down at her again. "Minamo, let me get to the crux of the matter here. Every single time, _every single time_ since you've started dating, you just somehow either botch up your relationships or find some ridiculous excuse to end them early."

She looked away once more, not at all wanting to meet her mother's eyes. "...that's...that's..."

"It's such a predictable act with you. You either cut things off immediately or drag them on forever, and then get dismissed. And then you go on and tell me this nonsense about how you're simply making sure that you're finding the 'right person'."

"W-why...why is that nonsense? There's nothing wrong with that. I just want to make sure that I really connec-"

_"I am sick and tired of hearing that."_

Minamo recoiled back, becoming stunned as her mother began to roar at her.

"_That's all that you ever do, Minamo, is give me excuses for everything. You're almost twenty nine now! What in the world are you still looking for? That you haven't found in a single man yet?_"

The last fragments of her courage started to leave her as the woman's rage kept increasing. "I-I...I..."

"_What am I supposed to do to get you married already? Even when some perfectly eligible bachelors are put on a platter for you, you still just can't seem to move on with your life and select one. All you ever want to do is just waste your time in this apartment or spend your paycheck at some bar."__  
_

"...why do you always want me to get married so badl-"

_"Because I won't allow you to embarrass me any further."_

She stayed silent.

Ms. Kurosawa flung up an arm in disgust. "_I am not putting up with this anymore._ Every other woman your age can start a family,_ so_ _why can't you?_ How many men have you seen so far? Do you _enjoy_ making our own family look contemptible to everyone? Sometimes I feel that's case, given the way in which you just seem to _always_ choose the route in life that allows you the most convenient methods in which to squander away your time."

"That...that's not true at a-"

_"Yes it is._"

Again, her mother's fury shut her down.

"_It's completely true. If it wasn't, then you wouldn't still be in this town, would you?" _She put a hand to her forehead, as if there was some pain inside of it. "I _still_ can't comprehend as to why you didn't take that invitation when you graduated. After all the time and effort that I spent training you...what a gigantic waste that was. Your one chance to do something significant with your life, and you passed it up, for what? _To go work at that damned high school._"_  
_

"Why are you bringing that up no-"

"_Minamo, don't say another word until I tell you to._"

She whimpered.

"_You are going to remain absolutely silent until I require you to speak._ _Do you understand me?_"

"S-stop yelling at m-"

"_Do you understand?_"

Something finally gave way inside of her, and she began to regress. "Y-yes, ma'am..."

"Good." She folded her arms across her chest. "Now, I am bringing all of this up, _because I am completely exhausted with your absurd behavior_. For some reason, you seem to _never_ want to seize any opportunity that would significantly alter your life in any meaningful way. Why is that? I've always instructed you on how to excel and bring pride to our family, and yet, whenever you're given the chance to do so, you simply refuse to take advantage of it. _Do you realize how angry that makes me, Minamo?_ _How my own child cannot constantly strive to do anything less than her very best?"  
_

_"_...I-...I'm sorry, ma'am..._"_

"...apologies and excuses. That's all that you've ever really produced for me."

Her expression collapsed into a heap.

"Just like today,_ another_ excuse for letting go of yet _another_ man. It's always excuses with you...why? _Why do you keep on insisting to remain single, Minamo?_"

"I-...I'm not..."

"_Yes you are_. You've always done the same thing. You go out with someone, the relationship ends prematurely, and then you're back to your same old ways until you repeat the cycle again. It's almost as if..." She paused, considering something. "How shall I say this...as if you almost...'desire' failure."

"...s-sorry, ma'am..?"

"Minamo...allow me to cut to the chase here. I've come here today to...conduct some research, I suppose. It's something that I cannot do over the phone."

The woman's voice had dropped in volume, a cold menace frosting over it now, and it was becoming far more threatening to Minamo than all of the shouting that she had already endured.

Ms. Kurosawa took her time again. "...Minamo...you understand that you can never lie to me, correct?"

"...y-yes, ma'am."

"And why is that? What do I always tell you?"

"...because...you know me best, ma'am."

"That's right. In fact, I know you better than even _you_ yourself do, Minamo."

A sick feeling entered her stomach.

"Do you agree with me?"

Her stare shifted down to her lap.

"Answer me, Minamo."

"...I-I agree, ma'am."

"That's a lie."

"W-what?"

Her mother's voice was a whisper now. "You don't actually agree with me, do you, Minamo? You're lying to me."

"That's...not true...ma'am..."

"It is. Do you know how I can tell, Minamo?"

She turned her head completely away from her mother, just about to respond, and then gasped as her neck was twisted against its will, Ms. Kurosawa's hand cupped underneath her chin now, holding her face firmly forward.

"It's very simple. You always have a particular habit that you do, whenever you're in a position in which you feel the need to stretch the truth. It's so stupidly obvious...and yet, I have this feeling that you didn't even notice yourself perform it just now."

"...n-no..."

Her mother leaned down, placing her face right in front of her daughter's, a fraction of an inch between their noses. "Look at me in the eyes, Minamo."

Out of reflex, she averted them.

"_Look at me in the eyes._"

Minamo quickly did what she was ordered to, meeting her parent's eyes with an enormous amount of difficulty, a desperate fear inside of her screaming at her to not do so.

"If you look away from me for even _one_ moment again, then I will become very, _very_ upset with you. Do you understand, Minamo?"

_...run away..._

"_Do you understand?_"

Her bangs flew across her face from the force of her mother's shout, and she nodded meekly.

"Now...let me ask you something. Why did you just lie to me?"

"...I didn'-"

"_Stop. Lying. To. Me._"

Minamo squinted in pain, her ears ringing from the thunder.

"_Why did you lie to me, Minamo?_"

"...I don't know...! I don't know...I'm sorry...ma'am...I don't know..."

Her mother shook her head sadly "...it really is such a chore for you to be truthful about yourself, isn't it, Minamo?"

_Someone...someone save me..._

"Why is that? I mean, how can _anyone_ not _honestly_ know the reason for as to why they lied about something? Don't you feel that's a very peculiar thing for someone to do? I certainly think so. But then again, I suppose that behavior fits quite well with you, doesn't? You really have always been a very peculiar girl." Her eyes narrowed sharply. "A very, _very_ peculiar girl."

For a minute, Ms. Kurosawa just stared straight into her daughter, her interrogating glare completely cutting her insides apart, dissecting her as she searched through her psyche for something, her expression set with the most deadly seriousness.

Minamo continued to sit quietly, her body completely frozen as sheer panic began to solidify it.

"...I want to make sure that you truly understand this, Minamo. There really is nothing that you can ever hide from me. I have always known everything about you, and if there is, by chance, some facet of you that _is_ hidden from me still, then I _will_ eventually discover it. That has always been true. Now, tell me that you agree with this."

_Help...help...it hurts..._

Her mother snarled._ "Minamo...tell me."_

"_I do!_ I do, I do, ma'am!"

"Then listen to me very carefully, Minamo."

_...anyone...please...help me..._

"I cannot recall how many times that I've explained this to you before, but hopefully, this will be the last occasion that I ever do: you are a reflection of me, Minamo. Your actions and behavior affect my image as well as your own. So, whatever you chose to do with your life from now on, remember to do it with the utmost respect for our mutual interests. Are we clear on that?"

"...y-yes, ma'am."

"And so you will not let me down again, like you've done in the past, then, Minamo?"

"No...no ma'am..."

_"Are you lying to me?"_

She bleated her words out. "_No!_ No! No..."

Again, the woman's eyes stabbed into her own like daggers, another long period of silence coming between them, a painful, agonizing eternity passing by as her mother ripped through her mentality's flesh for a second time.

A minute went by, and then another, Ms. Kurosawa just continuing to hold her daughter's head steady all the while, that vicious gaze refusing to let go of her, grasping her, suffocating her, choking her...

...waiting for her...

Minamo shivered.

Ms. Kurosawa smiled.

_"_...very well, then_."_

Her mother finally let go of her, standing up once more, everything about her now reverting back to its normal state, the woman acting so casual, as if she hadn't just been shouting at the top of her lungs a few moments ago. From out of a pocket, she removed her phone, thumbing through the screen as she looked at something.

"Alright...it seems as if I should be going now. I have a dinner arrangement with a client soon. I had to squeeze you in between a few matters today, so, I will leave you to your own again, Minamo." She dropped her arm, her phone dangling from her fingers. "I do apologize for taking up some of your time on a Sunday, but...you see, Minamo, sometimes your actions regarding your life are just so...perplexing to me. I'm sure you understand, then, as to how I just simply wanted to make sure that everything was alright with you." She shrugged. "Parental curiosity, you know? In any case, we'll chat again soon, alright? And don't worry. Eventually, we'll find you a man that you'll be happy with. I'm sure of that, dear."

Without another word, the woman turned around, dissapearing into the alcove of the apartment's entrance, and the moment that she did, Minamo began to breath again.

_Oh my god...oh my god..._

She buried her face into her hands, now taking full notice of the sheen of sweat that covered her body, the terror that gripped her heart, the horrible, awful feeling of somehow having had a part of her inner being trampled and trespassed upon.

_Why...why am I always so scared of her...? Why can't I ever face her? I'm a good person, so why...why does she do this to me...? Why..._

Something wet struck a palm.

_...why am I crying?_

"Minamo, get over here_ now._"

She jumped up from the chair immediately, fear fueling her body as it moved on its own accord, and quickly wiped away her tears as she raced over towards the alcove, from where her mother had just commanded her.

As soon as her parent was within sight, however, she stopped dead in her tracks, grimacing heavily as she saw the reason as to why she had been summoned.

_Oh no..._

The door to her apartment was open now, Ms. Kurosawa still gripping the handle, and outside, with the most dumbfounded of expressions on her face, was Yukari, one of her hands just an inch away from having knocked to be let inside, the other holding a bag of alcoholic beverages.

The woman just stood there, completely in shock as to who had just opened the door, of whom she was now staring at with utter disbelief, but gradually, she recovered enough of herself to break the awkward silence that had come between them all.

"Ah, shit."


	27. Part I Chapter 27

**Author's Notes**

Heya.

Sorry for the slow updates once again. :(

Chapter pic in my profile.

~Mendhi

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything related to Azumanga Daioh. Don't sue me bro!

* * *

Part I

Chapter 27

Minamo's shoulders slumped down with exhaustion, the massive amount of tension that was now present in the air weighing heavily upon her body.

_I...I can't deal with this..._

She stared on in despair at the two women that were on opposite sides of her apartment's entrance, her mother and best friend glaring at each other with nothing short of pure disdain, and the misery that Minamo was currently experiencing, after having just gone through such a brutal examination of her life's faults, began to greatly intensify.

_...please, Yukari, don't make a scene. Please, please don't..._

Her friend tilted her head up then, Ms. Kurosawa a bit taller than the average woman. "What are ya' doin' here, witch?"

"What is she doing here, Minamo?"

Yukari snorted, having just been completely ignored. "_Hey!_ I'm talkin' to you, lady!"

Ms. Kurosawa looked behind her. "Well, Minamo?"

Minamo's voice was barely audible, distress muffling it. "She...she was just...coming to visit me, ma'am."

The woman focused on Yukari again, eyeing her suspiciously. "Is that so?"

"Yeah, that's 'so', lady." She put her hands on her hips with annoyance, her minute amount of patience quite visibly leaking out from her irritated demeanor, the drinks in the bag she was carrying rattling around as she moved. "You got a problem with that?"

"I do."

"Oh,_ yeah_? You wanna' explain what that is to my face then, lady?"

"It's the same problem that I've always had with you: you're a degenerate."

Yukari instantly exploded with rage. "_What the hell did you just call me?_"

"A degenerate."

The woman pointed an accusing finger towards Ms. Kurosawa in dramatic fashion, her mouth wide open as she prepared to launch one enormous, aggravated assault towards the individual who had just insulted her, but her arm soon went limp, her expression becoming sheepish. "Uhh...so...what's that mean, anyways...?"

Minamo sighed.

Ms. Kurosawa let go of the door handle, folding her arms. "Maybe 'idiot' is more appropriate for you. That's in your vocabulary, isn't it?"

"Oh..._oh!_" Yukari's face brightened. "Yeah, ok, now I get what yer' say-" She blew up again, theatrics returning to her posture. "_Hey, wait! You take that back, you stupid old goat!_"

"The same ignorant loudmouth as always." Ms. Kurosawa shook her head sadly, unfazed by the shouting. "It doesn't seem as if you've matured even in the slightest since the last time we met."

Yukari growled. "Yeah, well, seems like _you're_ still a stuck up, snooty windbag."

The comment bounced off the woman harmlessly, Ms. Kurosawa staying perfectly cool as she glanced down towards the bag in the woman's hand. "Is that beer?"

"Eh?" Yukari appeared confused for a moment, the abrupt change of topic catching her off guard. "Oh...uh...maybe..."

Ms. Kurosawa turned around, glaring at her daughter. "Is this how her 'visits' normally go? She comes over with alcohol, and you both just get drunk?"

Minamo shivered nervously, that biting, inquisitive tone back in her mother's voice, and it fully renewed the great fear that she had of her parent, her panic silencing any sort of reply that she could offer.

Ms. Kurosawa sighed. "It appears as if you really _are_ just an irresponsible child, still."

She felt her mood sink even further than it already had, the continuing disapproval injuring her once more.

Her mother returned her attention to the apartment's newest visitor. "Go home, Tanizaki."

"_What?_ No fuckin' way!" Yukari clenched her fists tightly, her voice becoming angrier by the moment. "_You_ go home!"

"Why? So that you can freely mooch of my daughter's hospitality again?"

"_That's right!_ I...err, no, wait, that's not what I meant...uh..." She let out a timid chuckle, eventually regaining some ounce of seriousness. "...look, yeah, I came over here to get wasted and eat Minamo's grub. There ain't no gettin' around that fact._ But this ain't your place_, so you can't tell people what the hell to do, _so get your ass outta' here already!_"

"This isn't your place either, yet, you still seem to act like it."

"I'm just sayin' what Minamo won't ever tell ya'!"

"And what gives you the right to do that? I'm her mother, so I would say that I have more authority to speak on her behalf than you do."

"Maybe if you weren't such a shitty one, you would."

Mrs. Kurosawa laughed. "And I suppose I should respect your opinion on that matter? You've had plenty of experience with terrible parents, after all."

Yukari's voice went ice cold. "...what'd you say?"

"I said your mother and father are as inept as you are."

The temperature around the room increased tenfold then, Minamo quite tangibly feeling the heat of the intense fury that was now radiating out from Yukari. The woman was just staring silently at her adversary now, the most vicious face upon her as she struggled to contain herself from fully erupting. "H-hey...mom...that's no-"

Her mother tossed a quick look behind again. "Be quiet."

Minamo silenced herself without a second thought.

Ms. Kurosawa returned her attention to Yukari. "So, are you going to throw your usual tantrum now, or not?"

It took all of the woman's might to subdue the rage that was inside of her, Yukari grinding her teeth together as she fought against succumbing to the woman's taunts. "You...stupid...slimy...wrinkled..." She sneered. "You ain't...gonna' do that to me again. Not this t-"

"Why do you still associate with a temperamental buffoon like this, Minamo?"

It took a moment for her to realize that she was being spoken to, her mother still looking at Yukari. "I...we..."

"Are you just that desperate for a drinking partner? That's the only possible explanation that I can think of."

"...she's...my friend, ma'm..."

"Oh, please." Ms. Kurosawa waved around a hand dismissively. "I can't believe that you still refer to her as that. She's been nothing but a parasite to you, and yet you _still_ choose to have her in your company for some strange reason. "

Yukari snarled. "What the fuck are you talkin' abo-"

"You don't know? I'm sure you do. You're just an annoying leech that everyone but my daughter has learned to remove from their lives."

"...look, lady...you just keep on ta-"

"People still avoid you even today, don't they, Tanizaki?"

Yukari's anger suddenly became sedated. "...what?"

Ms. Kurosawa leaned against the door frame. "I remember your past quite well. All the other people you knew never wanted to be around you, because they realized what an annoying, shallow child that you were. Has that changed at all since then?"

The woman didn't respond, her face now washed over with a coat of gloom.

"I didn't think so. And how about your efforts to satiate your ego through your students? How is that going?"

"...yo-"

"That's the entire reason that you became a teacher in the first place, wasn't it?"

Yukari's lips fumbled around, a response trying to assemble itself.

"Are they impressed by you at all? Or have they found you as bothersome as I do?" Ms. Kurosawa took out her phone, looking at something on the screen. "I'm sure that they do. Those children aren't stupid. They don't want to be around you as much as your 'friends' do, correct? I'm sure that they even go to other faculty members for help before ever coming to you, and that would only be out of real desperation."

It was a surreal sight to Minamo, of what she was now witnessing. Yukari, who was normally so belligerent and ferocious whenever she was involved in some sort of confrontation, had now become completely cowed by her mother's words. A pained expression was splattered across her friend's face, her mother quite obviously having just struck at some deep insecurity of hers, Yukari appearing to have no idea at all on how to fight back and defend herself from the accusations of her character.

_...I'm sorry, Yukari..._

Her pity went out to her friend, knowing exactly what she was going through now. While Yukari's overwhelming personality could make any other person in the world quite easily submit to her, her battles with Ms. Kurosawa had always been an entirely different story.

The woman pounced on Yukari's hesitation. "So, does anyone actually_ really_ need you, Tanizaki? No, and neither does my daughter. Unfortunately, she's always been much too sympathetic towards people of your ilk, so she's become blind to as ever having noticed you sucking the life from out of her. How much of her money have you used? How often have you given her grief with your stupidity? Surely even _you_ must wonder why even _one_ person would put up with all of your narcissistic antics."

Her friend look completely gutted now.

Ms. Kurosawa placed her phone back into her pocket, recasting her stare to the woman before her. "I know full well how miscreants like you operate. You have no real place in anyone's life, so what do you do? You force yourself into one, and unfortunately, that happened to be my daughter's." She turned her head. "Who's far too ignorant to have ever realized that she's never actually needed your company."

Another bout of despair went through Minamo.

Her mother raised her voice. "You need to get this through your head, Minamo: this woman's simply been using you all of your life because she has no other people to bother. She does something nice for you once in awhile, so as to cover up the rest of the time when she abuses your hospitality. How much trouble has she given you so far? You know that it's true. How many times have I told you this before? You've never listened to me, and now look at the rut that you're in...just drinking yourself to death."

Minamo bit her lip.

"If you had only never met her..." Ms. Kurosawa sighed. "Maybe your life would actually be a decent one, since you wouldn't be babysitting this imbecile."

She grimaced, the insult causing her emotions to get the best of her again, and she began to sniffle.

"But I suppose you'll on-"

The rattling of cans suddenly filled the air, Minamo becoming startled as Yukari quickly brushed by her mother to come stand in front of her, the woman peering right at her face.

"...what's wrong with your eyes?"

Minamo looked at her in confusion, gasping as she did.

_Whoa...?_

A moment ago, Yukari's expression had been so weary looking, the woman appearing as if she had just lost some tough, arduous struggle. But now, that had all dissapeared, and what was left was a face that was filled with nothing short of the most absolute, purest concern.

_...what...just happened to you? And...why..._

She felt a warm, comforting feeling flood her cheeks.

_...do I feel like I've been here before...?_

"Are you ok? They're all red. Wait...were you cryin' before I came here? I thought you sounded kinda' weird."

It took a moment for her to digest what her friend was talking about, and she looked away from her when she finally did, lifting a forearm to cover her face as she shook her head.

Yukari threw her bag down, a metallic crash emanating from it. "What happened? What'd she talk to you about?"

She kept silent, not daring to say anything that would rile her mother.

"Hey, come on. What's wrong with you? Tell me what she did."

Ms. Kurosawa watched on curiously.

Minamo began to whisper. "N-nothing...I'm fine. Just leave it alone, Yukari..."

"Just tell me what's up. Was she givin' you shit again? That's what happened, didn't it?"

"...please, don't make things tougher for me now. She's just going to yell at me again..."

"...she was yellin' at you?"

She was about to address her friend again, but panicked as Yukari spun around, the woman taking a step towards her mother.

"...w-wait...!"

Minamo threw her arms around one of Yukari's, holding her back, whispering to her more. "W-what are you going to do? Don't...just let it go, I'll be fine. Don't cause any trouble for me...please don't..."

"What'd you do to her before I got here, lady?"

She looked at her in surprise, her friend's voice sounding so different now. It was coming out loudly, almost to the level of a shout, but there was this bold confidence to it that still made it seem so controlled, so precise.

Ms. Kurosawa shrugged. "We had little heart-to-heart chat over matters that don't concern you."

"You always makin' Minamo feel like shit concerns me."

_W-what...?_

The gentle, soothing sensation that had been running through her skin increased in intensity then, Minamo just staring absently at her friend now as the faintest grains of memories began to streak across her eyes. Yukari's posture and mannerisms, the assured way in which she was conducting herself, all of it was so foreign to the usually brash and impetuous woman, but still, somehow, Minamo _knew_ that she had witnessed this transformation of Yukari's before, had seen it at times in her past when she had felt as equally despondent as she currently was.

_...this is just like...when they always..._

She hardly noticed herself doing it, but at that moment, Minamo began to tightly grip the arm that she held of her friend's, softly resting her body against hers.

Her mother let out an exasperated sigh. "Please. You know Minamo has always been terrible with any sort of criticism regarding her l life. Any display of emotions on her part, then, is a quite natural thing for someone of her weak constitution to do."

Minamo ducked slightly behind her friend, trying to somehow avoid the pain that the remark had inflicted, and became startled as Yukari almost seemed to understand what she was doing, the woman positioning herself as to block her mother's view of her.

"Besides, are _you_ really one to talk, Tanizaki? I can remember quite a few times when you've made her life very difficult, and I'm sure that practice hasn't changed at all."

Yukari took a second to gather herself. "Yeah, I know. I've done some stupid stuff to her, and...maybe she'd be better off without me. I'm just a piece of shit. I get it..."

For a moment, silence took over the apartment, the woman now pausing as she considered something, before she began to roar.

"..._but she's not. _And you know what? Even if I've been like an idiot to her sometimes_...I'll tell you one thing that I'll never do to her, you stupid hag._ I'd never_, never_ go out of my way to make the nicest damn person that I've met in my entire life cry like you do, because there ain't a _damn_ thing Minamo's _ever_ done to _anyone_ that makes her deserve somethin' like that_._" The woman stamped her foot down with a heft that she didn't seem to be capable of. "So _damn you_ and your stupid standards. Maybe she's just a P.E. teacher or whatever, but it's a good thing that she _never_ turned out like you at all, 'cause if she had, then she wouldn't know how to treat people well like she does, and that'd be a real shame, 'cause..." She leaned forward, glaring menacingly. "_...'cause then a whole lotta' people out there woulda' missed out on seein' the kindest damn smile on the whole fuckin' planet!_"

The last few words had barely been audible to Minamo, another sound filling the entirety of her consciousness now, drowning out all other stimulus around her.

_...*thump*..._

In reality, even if she hadn't heard everything that Yukari had just said, she would have known what the content was in any case. She had lived through this same moment before, time and time again, and she remembered her friend as how she now was, standing like a guard dog in front of her, not allowing any harm whatsoever to pass by, to reach that which she was protecting.

And Minamo remembered what she herself had done during those old encounters as well, because it was exactly the same set of actions that she had just undertaken during her friend's thunderous defense of her against her mother.

_'...smile...'_

Her head now rested gently on Yukari's shoulder, Minamo feeling the most peaceful, addicting bliss that she could possibly experience as her heart pounded furiously. Her body had moved on its own accord, some imprisoned form of her self, having been chained for so long, now free to do as it pleased, completely controlling her as it craved to feel the warmth of her friend, Minamo holding onto Yukari's arm like a child that never wanted to let go again, that never wanted to be without her.

Everything was so perfect now. She was off in another world, her fear gone, her troubles decimated. Yukari had spoken well of her, and that's all that Minamo wanted, all that she had ever wanted, to just hear this amazing woman think of her like no one else ever had, to be the closest one to her, to be the only one in her care.

_...she won't let them get me. She won't...she won't...and that means...I'll be with her, just her, and nothing will ev-_

"You know...perhaps you _are_ right, Tanizaki."

Minamo glanced at her mother during her reverie, and then everything collapsed.

Yukari snorted. "Yeah? About what?"

"...perhaps...these matters _do_ concern you."

She saw that burning glare focused upon her now, those piercing, eagle eyes of her mother's running straight through her, watching her as she held her friend closely.

And it made her want to vomit.

_...stupid...!_

All the chains were set back in place again, and a thousand locks clicked together at once.

"Psh..." Her friend rolled her eyes. "Now what are you babblin' on a-"

"Yukari."

The woman looked back at her, Minamo having just let go of her arm. "Ye-"

"Go home."


	28. Part I Chapter 28

Part I

Chapter 28

_...how do I answer that question...?_

_Why am I such a nice person? I don't know..._

_Am I?_

_Everyone always says that I am._

_But...I never really thought of myself that way._

_Sometimes I'm like that, I guess. I don't want to make anyone feel bad. I never want to._

_But, sometimes..._

_Sometimes I'm just too afraid to say anything._

_So I just let people hurt me._

* * *

Minamo stared down at her phone as it lay upon the floor, the dying light from outside of the apartment window streaking across it.

_Even if you're mad...just...a text...something...I don't care..._

She knelt down, glancing at the indicators on the screen.

_...damn it!_

No missed calls, no new messages.

With a despaired grunt, she threw herself onto the couch, the palms of her hands now continuously smacking against her forehead.

_I'm such an idiot...just a stupid coward..._

She froze, catching herself.

_...it's ok. It's ok. Everything will be fine. Just be patient. She'll reply. She will. Just pass the time for now. That's what you need to do. Just pass the time..._

Her fingers fumbled around the couch cushions.

_Where is it...ah._

She pulled out the remote from where two of the cushions converged, bringing the television to life with it.

_What's on...what's on...?_

The last channel that she had been watching, a news one, was the first to pop up on the screen. A local election was coming soon, a few faces of the candidates flying behind the anchorwoman as she gave brief summaries about each one...

And then she disappeared.

_That's enough._

The remote was tossed back onto the couch, Minamo diving down on to the carpet, staring at her phone again as she pushed a button on it, waking it.

_Maybe I didn't hear it go off? That's always possi-_

She pounded a fist on the floor in frustration.

_...still nothing. Damn it...damn it...! __Maybe she didn't get my message? Should I call and leave another one? But...what if she's mad, and doesn't want to talk? What...what if..._

Her body cringed, and she swallowed fearfully.

_...what if she hates me now...?_

A breath of despair came out from Minamo then, before she began to violently shake her head.

_...no, no, no! You've had misunderstandings with her before, right? This is the same thing. Things will be ok. She'll understand. Just wait, just wait. She's cooling off, I bet! Yeah, that's it! That must be it. Anyways...you just need something to pass the time away in the meanwhile..._

In another moment she was back on the couch, the television turning on for almost the fiftieth time in the past hour.

* * *

_But I'm not miserable._

_I'm still happy._

_Because she's here. _

_Every single time...she's been here._

_Right by me._

_And then everything turns out fine..._

_...because she chases them away._

_Even if it's nothing but trouble for her._

_She still chases them away._

* * *

_'...I'm proud of you, Minamo...'_

The words jolted through her head, and once again, Minamo felt the wonderful sensation of having her battered ego massaged so thoroughly by her mother. Ms. Kurosawa had applauded her, praised her, verified her daughter for what she had accomplished earlier in the day, the berating that she had suffered now all but forgotten, Minamo having been able to finally return to her parent's life as both a welcome and desired part of it.

And all that it had taken for her to regain that acceptance, to mend the generous relationship that she used to so enjoyably share with her mother, had been the administrating of a simple knife in the back.

_Yukari..._

The high came to its end, and Minamo shivered as she lay on the couch, the disbelieving face of Yukari now splattered across the walls of her mind. That look, that blank, absent look that her friend had given to her after being told to leave the apartment, after she had so valiantly defended the sanctity of her character, was now completely tearing her apart.

_...I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..._

The pain of her disloyalty reignited in her chest, the dismissal of her best friend still badly scathing her heart after all these hours. Yukari, without even the least bit of resistance, had left quietly upon hearing Minamo's orders, walking out the door with much the same demeanor as someone who was going to take their place in front of a firing squad. No dramatic scene had played out, no fuss at all had been made about the decision, the woman having just stared at her with the emptiest of expressions before she sadly exited the premises, her best friend in the world having just sided with her bitter adversary against her.

_Why did I do that? Why didn't I say anything? Why, why, why, why, why...?_

Minamo had been terrified. That's all that she could remember. The iron fear that had locked down her compassion, that had made her said what she had, all of it had been set off by that stare, that sickening, inquisitive stare of her mother. Ms. Kurosawa had watched her so closely then, watched them both during that one moment, and Minamo had known, somehow had known, that Yukari had to immediately leave.

She just had to.

_She couldn't stay._

Her head began to nod up and down as it lay.

_There was no way. That's right, that's right. It had to be done._ _I already called her and apologized. She'll understand._

A smile then filled Minamo's mind, the image of her mother's perfect, approving smile now reaffirming her decision, the exuberant grin that Ms. Kurosawa had rewarded her daughter with after Yukari had left.

_Yukari will be fine. She just doesn't understand. I mean, it's not like the whole world revolves around her, right? So, what's something like this matter? And mom's happy with you again. That's what's really important._

Minamo breathed a sigh of relief.

_As long as mom's happy. That's what really matters. Not Yukari. Just mom. And everyone else. As long as everyone else is happy with you, that's what counts, right? So what if one person ju-_

_'...the kindest damn smile...'_

With a tortured whine, Minamo began to pull at her hair, her feet stomping madly into an armrest of the couch.

* * *

_So you think that I'm a nuisance to her?_

_Do you really think so?_

_How can that be?_

_It's not my fault..._

_..._

_But I didn't lie._

_She was the one._

_She was the liar._

_So it's not my fault then, is it?_

_When she asked me that last year...I was honest with her._

_I really was._

_Because that's all I know how to be._

* * *

She watched the movie alone.

They were both supposed to have enjoyed this tonight, the romantic comedy that Minamo had picked up on her way home. Over some hot pizza, she and Yukari were supposed to have watched it, laughed at it, predicted where the plot went, debated whether the acting was up to par or not, and generally pick apart the movie like they always did whenever they watched one together.

It was supposed to have been like that, in any case.

Now, however, it was just serving as a distraction, just something to pass the time away as Minamo continued to wait for her friend to return her call, the evening slowly turning into night. But, while she had been paying close attention to the film so far, already about an hour into it, she still had absolutely no clue as to what had been going on in it the entire time. She had been watching, but not really. Hearing the characters, but not understanding. The plot, the jokes, the romance, none of it at all had registered to Minamo in even the slightest way, her interest completely numb...

...except towards a few very, very specific parts of it.

_Ah...there she is. She was gone for awhile!_

The female lead strolled across the screen, a bright young girl in a form-fitting outfit.

_...she's so gorgeous. She really is._

Her eyes flickered back and forth quickly, the illuminating light of the television reflecting off of them in the darkened apartment.

_They really do choose good looking women for these sort of roles. I'm glad that I picked this one up. She really is something..._

Not a single one of these thoughts was made known to her, Minamo's awareness having become shredded from everything that she had went through today. The guard was gone, no part of her psyche was patrolling itself as she watched, as she felt, as she imagined.

___...but what is it about her...? I think it's that scarf. It makes her look so...refined. And _her face...her skin is so nice. Really, really nice...

For the whole course of the movie so far, Minamo had been in her own little world. Her mother's visit had never happened, the terrible pain that she had felt didn't exist anymore. It was just her, only her, exploring the place that had become open to her more and more often in the past few years, when particular situations, particular feelings, had begun to make their way back into her life.

It was a healing sanctuary, of where her mind and heart had ventured to so briefly at times in the past, since the earliest days of her youth, before they were always pulled away from so abruptly by her terrifying self-condemnation.

_...I wonder how her skin would feel..._

But, for the moment, that chaperoning guilt was nowhere in sight.

_...__if I could kiss it?_

Minamo thought she felt herself smile.

_Well...it doesn't matter. She's nice, but, she's still got absolutely nothing on-_

The sound of a musical chime went off from her phone.

* * *

_...she feels really warm._

_That ribbon is so funny. I love her hair._

_It's tickling my face._

_Ha...I just had a thought._

_If I hold on tighter..._

_...would anyone else notice?_

_They're looking at us...but..._

_..._

_Would...she notice?_

_I'm already holding on to her..._

_..._

_Let's try it..._

* * *

Minamo checked the message again, making sure that everything looked perfect in her reply.

_-Hi Yukari. __I'll be over there in the morning like always. I might come a little early. I'm sorry again.-_

Satisfied, she sent if off, the two lines that she had typed having taken well over thirty minutes to compose. Edit after edit, she had gone from a paragraph of emotional apologies down to that short sentence, finally deciding to keep things brief until tomorrow morning, when she could talk with her friend face-to-face.

Minamo would go early. An hour earlier than usual, to meet with the woman before their trip to work together. Her plan was to fully address any grievances that Yukari might be carrying still, due to all the difficult events of today, before they would leave her house. The last thing that she wanted was to have anything between them as they sat next to each other at their desks throughout the day, even though the message that Yukari had finally sent to her, after all these hours, had seemed to be free of any lingering resentment.

_'-Its all good dont worry about it just get me in the mornig i dont wanna ride my boke-'_

It was a short and sloppily done text message, but Minamo knew her friend well enough that _any_ sort of reply from her, when she was presumed to be mad or upset, most likely meant that she actually wasn't. If Yukari _were _angry, then she wouldn't have sent anything at all in the first place.

But, regardless of that fact, it didn't help to quell the crippling nervousness that had now taken Minamo.

_...it'll be just like any other morning. Just...calm down. You've been going there every day for years, so what's the difference?_

Her hands gripped her phone a bit tighter.

_Geez...why am I getting so jittery now...? It's just Yukari...come on already..._

_'...smile...'_

Minamo bit her lip, completely unable to fathom the massive swarm of butterflies that now filled her stomach.

* * *

_We're almost to the nurse._

_...I don't want to let go._

_Just let me keep holding on._

_Don't put me down._

_Don't..._

_Everything is so perfect like this._

_..._

_I just want... _

_...to keep my head on her shoulder._

_Just keep it on there...forever..._

_...and sleep._


	29. Part I Chapter 29

**Author's Notes**

Hi!

Chapter pic in my profile.

Thanks again for all the comments and critiques. They really help with my writing.

~Mendhi

* * *

Part I

Chapter 29

Minamo pressed the buzzer, waited for a minute, and then frowned, no response coming from the intercom.

_...maybe I did come too early. I guess they're all asleep still._

She looked around, spotting the Tanizaki family car in its usual parking spot, its dented and scratched exterior making it appear so out of place next to their charming abode.

_ But...he should be going to work now, right? He must be up, at least._

Minamo pressed the button one more time.

_"...hellooooooo?"_

She smiled. "H-hi, sir...it's Minamo. May I come in?"

_"Oh! Damn! It's you, Nyamo! Why you pressing that thing? Just get the hell on up here."_

The outside gate wasn't locked, the norm for this particular house, so Minamo quite easily strolled up to the entrance of the Tanizaki residence, its door swinging wide open just as she neared it.

"Damn...you're here early! It's not even seven yet, kiddo'."

A thin, wiry man now stood before Minamo, a dress shirt and matching pants adorning him. Smeared across his unshaven face was a humorous grin, his sparse beard blending upwards into the frizzy, graying hair that covered his head.

Mr. Tanizaki waved his guest inside. "Come in! Come in! Damn, when's the last time I saw you, Nyamo?"

Minamo bowed her head respectfully, following her friend's father into the house. "Umm...it's been awhile I think, sir. Maybe a few months."

The man laughed jovially, a lightness in it that matched the playful, carefree aura that he had about him. "Geez, kiddo', you're still too damn formal. But that's why you're such a good kid I guess, huh? Yeah, it's been awhile! I'm always missing you when you come over nowadays."

"I know! It's really nice to see you again, sir."

He laughed once more. "Such a damn good kid!"

She smiled warmly as she removed her shoes, Minamo taking her steps onto the carpet slowly afterwards as she adjusted herself to the ambient darkness that greeted her. Much like their daughter, the Tanizaki parents seemed to have a general dislike of artificial lighting, the rooms bathed in a subdued atmosphere thanks to the little amount of sun that made its way through the windows, the sky being an overcast one this morning.

"That damn dummy isn't going to be up for awhile, Nyamo, unless you want to go wake her up."

"O-oh...ok. I'll go check!"

Mr. Tanizaki was heading into the kitchen, so she parted ways with him before it, heading up the staircase to her friend's room, but stopped halfway.

_...maybe...maybe it's better to...let her sleep some more. Yeah. Just a little more..._

She nodded to herself, taking in a deep breath that didn't help in the least bit to settle her buzzing nerves.

_It's...still early. Really, really early...so it would be rude to get her up like this. Yeah. So, just wait. Yup, yup, just wait...a little more...yup..._

With haste, she turned around, skipping down to the first floor and bolting into the kitchen, Mr. Tanizaki sitting down at a little table with an empty plate and open book before him.

The man looked up from what he was reading. "She kick you out?"

She stepped towards the table clumsily, her feet tied together with apprehensiveness. "Ah...ah, no, she was...really sound asleep. I'll wake her up soon. Um...so, so, if it's ok...I'll just wait in the living room, sir...umm...if it's ok...sir?"

"Why the hell are you asking? This is your place too, kiddo'." He beamed, smacking the top of the table a few times with a hand. "Hell, sit down right here! C'mon, sit down! Let's catch up with each other!"

Minamo obliged hesitantly, pulling up a chair.

"Oh, right, before that!" The man stood up abruptly, taking his plate with him as he headed towards the sink, placing it down inside. "You want something to drink, kiddo'?"

"Ah..."

He went over to the fridge. "I got some sake still!"

A dubious look washed over her face. "N-no...that's ok, sir. Umm...maybe some coffee, if you have any ready."

Mr. Tanizaki pulled a chilled bottle out. "Sure do! Got some riiiiiight here!"

She sighed as the man sat back down, pointing the bottle straight into her face. "Sir..."

"Coffee!"

"I'm...working soon..."

"Wow! Me too!"

She frowned.

He wiggled the bottle back and forth between his fingers temptingly.

"...I...I really shouldn't, sir...

Mr. Tanizaki laughed, taking the drink away. "Man, I can never pull one over on you, Nyamo. You knew there wasn't really any coffee in here, didn't you? You're just too damn sharp!"

Minamo sighed again, trying her best to maintain a smile.

The man took a swig from the bottle then, leaning back in the chair as he continued to laugh. "So, hey, tell me what's going on in your life now. You're still teaching P.E., right?"

"Oh, yeah, of course, sir. And...things are going...ok, I guess."

Mr. Tanizaki looked at her curiously. "Whoa, what's up with you? You sound kind of out of it."

Minamo shrugged. "I'm fine...just, you know...a little tired. I got up early."

"Hmm...how come you're here so early, anyways? Damn...did that bastard principal change the hours?"

"No...no...school still starts at the same time as always, sir."

"Oh, yeah? Hmm, well..." He began to laugh again. "Don't tell me that you came over just to see this old man again, now! Aww, you're always such a damn swell kid, Nyamo!"

Minamo glanced at the table with a bit of abashment, trying to hold back a chuckle as Mr. Tanizaki grinned merrily.

_It's so funny...he always acts just like Yukari...that same, stupid smirk..._

She managed to keep herself together. "W-well, I mean...it really is nice to see you again, sir, but, actually, I came here early because...well..." She considered her words for a moment. "...I...I just wanted to talk to Yukari about some things before we left today."

Mr. Tanizaki placed the bottle on the table. "Damn, that right?" His eyes suddenly sparkled. "Oh, I bet I know why! I thought that dummy was acting kind of strange yesterday..."

She stared at him in alarm. "W-what...?"

The man pointed a thumb towards the staircase outside of the kitchen entrance. "Well, she was being pretty weird last night, Nyamo. Usually we watch some stuff on the tube together whenever I get home at night, you know? But, damn, she didn't want to yesterday! Didn't even want a beer! I thought she was sick or dying or something, because she was being all stupid and mopey and stuff. So, me and her mom figured that she was pretty upset about something or such."

Minamo felt her chest tighten considerably. "...upset...?"

The man shrugged. "Seemed like it. Something got her rattled. So, I take it something happened, Nyamo? That's what you wanted to talk to her about, I bet?"

"I...y-yeah, I guess, sir."

"I figured! So, what's up? She lose some money again or something?"

Her gaze sunk down to the table. "No...it's something...personal, between us."

"Oh, shit!" Mr. Tanizaki grabbed his drink, taking a long chug from it. "You get mad at her for something? I don't blame you if you did, kiddo'. She needs to be yelled at here and there, yeah?"

"...no...it's nothing like that, sir. It's...it's a little hard to explain. But..." She bit her lip. "I sort of...said something that I shouldn't have, so..."

Her friend's father gawked at her. "Oh, man! You must have told her off really bad, Nyamo! She screwed something up good, huh?"

"No...she didn't do anything wrong, sir. It's just...something that's my fault, that I want to clear up with her before work. That's why I came early." She looked back up at him. "I'm sorry if I don't go into the details, sir, but...I just..." Her shoulders drooped. "...I'm just worried that she might be really mad at me for it, and I wanted to talk to her about it now, but...I don't know. I'm just stalling now, I guess..."

The man's face came alive with disbelief, an enormous amount of doubt that was borderline comical. "_Whoa!_ That's a new one! Didn't think it was possible for a good kid like you to ever get on anyone's bad side, Nyamo."

Minamo smiled weakly. "...well...I'm not totally sure about it, sir...but I think I might have this time. We texted a bit last night, but, I can't really tell from just that..." Underneath the table, her fingers began to weave together nervously. "But...if you said that she was acting strange..."

Mr. Tanizaki nodded. "Yeah, she was. Pretty damn moody. She wasn't talking much at all. But, hey, kiddo', I wouldn't sweat it any. She wasn't mad about anything. I'm pretty sure of that."

"...why is that, sir?"

The man took a look at his watch, standing up as he began to stretch. "You know that dummy is mad when she comes home and throws a fit all over the place. Damn, it's hell when she's like that..." He shook his head slowly. "She won't shutup about whatever pissed her off. You know what I'm talking about, Nyamo? Of course you do. But, she didn't do that yesterday. Like I said, it was weird. I think she was kind of down, but...well, if you guys had a fight or something, then she didn't act like she was mad at you for it or whatever." He laughed. "C'mon! You're the last person that dumbass would carry a grudge against anyways, Nyamo."

Minamo fumbled with a response, not quite sure as to what she had just heard. "M-me...?"

"Yeah." He picked up the bottle, going around the table to his visitor, patting her shoulder as he continued to make work of his drink. "You guys have been friends forever, right? I mean, even if she's actually pissed off at you or whatever, it won't last long. She likes you too much, kiddo'."

For a few seconds, Minamo forgot how to speak.

"Eh? What's wrong?"

Her body shook itself out of its sudden stupor. "I...umm...tired, sir. I didn't have any...coffee. I'm kind of out of it...I guess. Yeah..."

"Oh." Mr. Tanizaki looked over towards a counter. "Well, I got to get going to work now, so go make some if you want."

"O-ok..."

"Anyways..." Her friend's father laughed. "Go smooth things over with her, or whatever you were going to do, alright? Damn, it's such a drag when she's bummed out, Nyamo." He sighed dramatically. "At least when's she's mad, she'll still come and drink with me after I get home. That's my favorite part of the day..."

"...I'll...I'll talk to her, sir. Don't worry."

"Well, good! That makes me feel better. You always know how to fix everything, Nyamo. Just go wake her stupid ass up and do your thing." He gave her another silly grin before turning around, picking up a set of car keys from a drawer as he made his way out of the kitchen. "Can you lock the door?"

"S-sure..."

He looked back towards her, his face gleaming as he waved his hand enthusiastically. "Such a damn fine kid you are! Good seeing you again, Nyamo!"

"Bye, sir."

Mr. Tanizaki left then, and in a few moments, Minamo heard the sound of a car roaring to life outside, its wheels squeaking loudly as it sped away into the distance.

She looked down to the floor, her stare burning a hole into it.

_...she...likes me?_

Her head shook back and forth, as if it were trying to rid itself of something.

_...of course she does. She's your friend. You...you already knew that. It's nothing new...nothing new at all. I mean...that's why we're friends to begin with. We just get along somehow, so, obviously, that means that she thinks well of you..._

She sat there in silence._  
_

_...and likes...to be around you. And talk to you. And do things for you, and...and watches out...for you..._

In an instant, her arms wrapped themselves around her body, Minamo leaning over her knees as the prickly chill that now danced across her skin started to become far too much to bear.

_...and tells you...how nice...your smile is..._

Slowly, her eyes went up, ascending the stretch of stairs outside of the kitchen, the number of steps on it appearing to somehow having doubled, tripled, quadrupled...

_...Yukari._

With a shiver, Minamo hugged herself tightly, and then, despite the heavy chains of anxiety that held her, she launched herself onto her feet and began to head up to her best friend's room, wondering along the way as to the real reason of why she had so badly wanted to see the woman so early this morning.


	30. Part I Chapter 30

**Author's Notes**

Hello!

I'll have a picture for this one sometime soon. I upload them to DeviantArt as well, so if you're interested, my name there is 'mehendhi'.

~Mendhi

* * *

Part I

Chapter 30

_Just open it already...come on..._

Her hand continued to waver upon the door knob, her fingers positioned lightly upon it.

_...it's...it's just Yukari. What's the big deal? Just go in already..._

Minamo took in another deep breath, gathering her courage, but became disappointed with herself as it all leaked out in a sigh of frustration instead. She had been in front of her friend's bedroom for a few minutes so far, just standing there as sheer hesitation froze her in place, so utterly nervous about entering inside now, to finally be able to see Yukari once again, to talk to her, to try and make sure that there was nothing ill between them after what had occurred yesterday.

_...am I just feeling that guilty? Maybe that's it...because of what happened. I mean...is it even right for me to wake her up so early like this, just to clear my conscience?_

Her brow furrowed, frustration wracking it.

_But...this doesn't feel like guilt. It feels...I feel like...I don't even know. I don't even know what I''m feeling. I'm just..._

That particular stream of thought continued to swirl around in her mind, Minamo struggling with the strange emotion that had been trapping her in the upstairs hallway, disallowing her to move, to act. She couldn't fathom as to why, but everything about the Tanizaki house, about Yukari herself, just seemed so forbidden to her now, as if she were somehow trespassing into a place that was, in reality, even more familiar to her than her own apartment.

It was a grim, foreboding feeling, a warning about the room. Something inside of Minamo was urging for her to stay out, to go home, to never return again, to abandon Yukari, to forget about her, to just completely and entirely forget _anything_ that was related to her friend, even in the very least of ways.

Gradually, her will began to succumb its demands.

_...why...why am I even here now, so early in the morning? I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't have ever been here. Mom...mother...she was right. Why do I still do this? Why do I always come here...come here just to see he- _

An answer to those questions suddenly zoomed through her consciousness.

_'...smile...'_

Minamo's hand tightened around the knob.

_...that's why I'm here. Every single time, almost every day. Because...I just have...to know..._

Without another thought about it, Minamo finally steeled herself enough to push open the door, ploughing through all the threats that her heart continued to delay her with, and rushed into the room.

Her eyes widened in surprise.

_What the...?_

Her friend's room was much in its usual state, litter scattered about the floor, clothes overflowing from the dresser drawers, the whole place looking as if a hurricane had just ravaged through mercilessly, leaving the area in a colossal, totalled mess. But while the appearance of everything seemed to be adhering to its owners normally low set of standards, there was still something a bit off about it all, something not quite in its place.

Minamo's head turned from side to side. _Where is she?_

The bed was empty, the covers overturned sloppily.

She frowned, worry beginning to overtake her. _Did she leave already? Maybe...she actually was angry with me still, and didn't want a ride? That...that's pos-_

"H-hey...?"

Minamo jumped up in fright, spinning around to see Yukari standing right there behind her, the woman already dressed in one of her school outfits, a towel covering her damp hair. "Y-_Yukari_! I...I thought you left already...!"

Her friend looked at her strangely, rubbing the towel on her head. "No...I just took a shower." She glanced at the clock on one of her cabinets. "You're here early."

She opened her mouth to reply, to express her surprise in seeing Yukari actually _prepared_ to go to work for once, so early in the morning even, but something about finally being face-to-face with the woman caused her to fidget around in silence instead.

_...what is wrong with me? It's just Yukari...come on..._

"...you ok? You look kinda' sick."

Minamo regained her focus. "M-me? No, I'm fine...I'm fine. Y-yeah...I'm...here early..."

"Yeah...yeah...umm...did you eat already?"

She hesitated with her response, something about Yukari's demeanor and speech throwing her off now, this subdued tone to it all. "Eat? Oh...y-yeah! Some...toast...and juice."

"Oh. Umm...you want some ramen, anyway? I got some leftovers that I was gonna' warm up. If you want, I mean..."

_'If you want'?_ "...ah...for breakfast? Umm...s-sure..."

Her friend smiled kindly. "Ok, cool. Come on, then." She turned around, taking a few steps down the hallway before descending the stairs.

Minamo just stood there in the bedroom, gazing after her friend with an immensely confused look.

_...Yukari?_

It struck her mind with full force then, of how polite and reserved her friend had just been acting. None of that usual eccentrcity, that madness, was about Yukari, the woman having acted so unnaturally cordial towards her, the invitation for breakfast itself almost making Minamo feel as if she were dealing with some sort of impostor.

_She's being so...nice? Is she just being indifferent towards me now? I can't...I can't tell at all..._

Minamo shook her head, freeing herself of the confusion, happy that Yukari wasn't at least outright indignant with her because of yesterday's events. And so, after once more pushing down the apprehension that furiously commanded her to leave the house, she followed the woman downstairs.

Yukari was already in the kitchen, taking her leftovers out of the fridge as she prepared to warm them up. "Go ahead and sit down. I'll bring it to you."

Again, the woman's voice was subtle and polite, totally bewildering Minamo as she struggled to believe that this kind person actually _was_ Yukari Tanizaki. "Um...ok..." She pulled up a chair, sitting down at the kitchen table for the second time this morning.

The low hum of a microwave filled the air, Yukari fetching some disposable chopsticks in the meanwhile. "Want some coffee, too?"

Minamo spent an enormous amount of effort in order to keep the sheer astonishment from off her face. "You..._you_ make coffee?"

"I've seen my mom do it...I'll figure it out."

The woman went about the area of the kitchen, getting some mugs, some water, other necessary items, and, after displaying some obvious difficulty with the coffeemaker, soon brought both the drinks and bowls of warm ramen to the table. "Here ya' go."

Minamo looked down at the steaming noodles, the piping hot mug, with nothing short of amazement. "Thanks...thanks, Yukari..."

Her friend gave another polite smile, and then went about consuming her meal.

For the next few minutes, neither woman spoke, Minamo herself just simply having no idea as to how to begin any sort of conversation with Yukari, completely dumbfounded by the genial behavior on her part. She had come in this morning expecting some degree of a difficult situation with her friend, had expected her to be irritated, upset somehow, like her father had described her, just basically at odds with her, given what Minamo had made previously made her go through.

But so far, nothing of the sort had taken place, the exact opposite of her expectations having played out instead, now coming to a point in which Minamo was even beginning to become slightly perturbed by it all.

She placed a hand on her coffee mug, watching the steam slowly rise from it.

_...I don't think I've ever seen her act like this. She's so...proper? I can't even describe it. It's like she's trying to behave, or-_

"H-hey, Minamo."

Her head looked up to her friend, Yukari just stirring her ramen around with her chopsticks, her voice so surprisingly meek. "...yes?"

"...are...you and your mom ok now? 'cause...you looked pretty down yesterday..."

The entire ordeal that she had suffered through abruptly blazed through her mind, causing Minamo to cringe. "Down...? Oh...oh...um...right..." She took a deep breath, not quite yet ready to discuss the whole issue with her friend. "Yeah...yeah...we're ok. She...we're on decent terms now..."

Yukari frowned slightly for some odd reason, a subtle despondency in her voice now. "Ah, cool, cool. Glad you got whatever worked out with her, then." She began to pick up noodles out of the soup, letting them fall back down into the bowl, repeating the same action over and over. "Umm...can I ask why she was there? If it's ok, I mean. You don't gotta' if you don't wanna'..."

Minamo was barely able to suppress her surprise again, Yukari's timid speech, her humble requests, all of it such a completely foreign experience to her. "Of course it's ok. We..." She sighed, beginning to feel that skirting around the conversation any further, the one that she had been so anxious about initiating this morning, would just continue to make things between them that much more awkward. "Yukari...I didn't invite her there, if that's what you're thinking. She just came there out of the blue to talk to me. You know...you know what she does. And then you came..." She placed a hand on her forehead, propping the arm on the table as it supported her leaning head. "It was a big mess. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for everything that happened yesterday, and for all the stuff that my mom said about you-"

"Nah, it's ok. She was right, anyways."

"...right about what...?"

The woman continued to play around with her breakfast, her voice barely audible. "I just get in the way."

Minamo looked at her strangely. "Yukari...wh-" Something suddenly dawned upon her, a possible reason for her friend's peculiar behavior this morning. "Wait...Yukari, are you actually taking what my mom said _seriously_...?"

Yukari didn't respond for a few moments, soon biting her lip as she lowered her head, strands of hair covering her face now. "Don't get rid of me again, Minamo. I'll get better. I swear I will."

Minamo could only blankly stare at her.

_What...what the hell is she talking about? 'Get rid of me-'_

A small, almost unnoticeable gasp escaped from her.

_Wait...she...she doesn't mean...?_

Those two words that she had spoken to her friend yesterday, at that terrible moment when she had ordered her to leave the apartment, screamed inside of her mind.

_...is that what she thought I did?_

Yukari continued on, her voice so thin and hollow. "I was doin' a lot of thinkin' yesterday...I won't be a pest anymore, Minamo. I promise. I'll get up on time every day too. Like today. And I won't bug you for money any more. I'll...I'll start payin' my share and stuff. And I won't drink unless it's ok. If it's ok with you, I mean. And...I won't piss you off or anyone with the stupid shit I do, 'cause I won't do it no more...'cause I won't do it." She looked up, staring dead on at her. "...and I won't be annoyin' anymore either. You don't gotta' worry about that. I freakin' swear...I'll do whatever..."

_...now I get it._

She took in every part of Yukari that she had just felt through her senses, her weak voice, her jittery, nervous demeanor, and most of all...

_I remember. I remember now. That face..._

Her heart began to soar.

_...those eyes..._

She had seen them like this just once before in her life, the way that Yukari's eyes were now, and Minamo was sure, so sure, that she was the only person on the planet who had done so, who had witnessed this woman give into an emotion that was more than rare for someone of her kind to have, to become dominated by.

Those tired, hopeless brown eyes. They explained everything to Minamo now. Her friend's humbleness, her meek aura, her polite, warming reception of her this morning.

_That's what she was feeling. Her dad was wrong...she wasn't upset, she was..._

The pounding in her chest increased, her senses firing to life across her body, all of it produced by just simply knowing, just tangibly feeling, what Yukari now was, what she _actually_ had been feeling since being sent home yesterday, of what she must have suffered with all night.

For the second time that Minamo had ever seen her be in her life, Yukari was scared.

* * *

_"Are you serious?"_

_Minamo smiled back at her kindly, a little flustered. "Yeah...yeah, I'm serious. That's what my coach was telling me... "_

_"Man..." Yukari took a long slurp from the soda in her hand, setting it back onto the table. "Guess I'm not surprised. You always beat the shit outta' everyone at those meets. So, she puts you on this team, and if you do good, then what?__"_

_She become abashed as she prepared to talk about herself, looking off to the side now__, the fast food restaurant that they were in beginning to fill up as dinner time approached._. "Well...you just sort of keep going, to other regional meets. Then, you know..." She rubbed her hands together nervously under the table. "Then...you might get to go to the big one, where they select people to represent the country, and, well, you know..."

_"So I might see your dumb face on the tube someday, huh?"_

_Minamo chuckled, no offense taken from the jab. "Y-yeah...maybe..."_

_Yukari shrugged. "Well, that's pretty good for you, Nyamo." She gave her a thumbs up and wink. "If you win some olympic gold or whatever someday, then you're gonna' take your ol' coach out here for a million damn buffets with all the prize money!"_

_She laughed again. "I don't know if you get money for those sorts of competitions..."_

_"Eh? Really? Well, hey, we could sell the medal then! It's real gold, right? We'll melt that shit right down."_

_"I think I would want to keep it, Yukari..."_

_"Ah, ya? Bummer." She threw her weight into the table, leaning forward against it. "So, yeah, I bet your stupid mom must be goin' nuts about all this stuff."_

_Minamo brought her stare down. "Yeah...she's happy..."_

_"Yeah, figures. Only time that damn gorilla is happy is when she can brag about somethin'."_

_"Hey...come on, now. Don't talk about her like that..."_

_Yukari blew out a breath of frustration. "Geez...why you always protectin' her so much? All she does is give you shit all the time."_

_She sighed. "...she just wants me to make the most out of myself. That's all..."_

_"Bah." Yukari waved a hand around with annoyance. "She just wants to make you as anal as she is."_

_"...just leave it alone, please."_

_The girl stared at her curiously, rolling her eyes after a moment. "Man, you're always so hung up on her." Yukari shrugged as she leaned back again, looking out the restaurant window that was next to their booth. "I mean, yeah, ok, even I know that lady's got her shit together, but, still...I don't get you. You gotta' be who you are, Nyamo, not just who she wants you to be."_

_Minamo looked out the window as well, not responding._

_Yukari glanced back at her friend, noticing something off about her demeanor, and then smiled sheepishly. "Ok, ok, I'll drop it. Sorry, sorry."_

_"...no, it's fine. Don't worry about it..."_

_"...hmm...somethin' buggin' you? You sound kinda' down now."_

_ She took her time in answering, just watching the passing crowds outside. "...there's something that I wanted to talk to you about today, actually."_

_"Huh? About what?"_

_A small, burning sensation began to fire up inside of her chest. "Yukari...you know...the college that we were planning to go to? You know how they don't have a good swim program?"_

_Yukari crooked her head. "Yeah. So?"_

_"Well...if I keep on going like this, you know, doing these meets...having an environment with some kind of real development program is kind of necessary. You know, just a good team to be on and practice with, with good coaches and stuff..."_

_Her friend shrugged. "So? Just go to one of the other universities around here. You put down more than one choice, right? I'm sure one of 'em's got a better swimmin' club than the one we picked out."_

_ "...I did find one, actually. It's...a good one, a really good one, for sports anyways. Actually...a few days ago, they invited me to go there. I guess they scouted me out and, umm, they said I don't have to take the entrance exam. __I guess they're pretty keen on having me..." She turned a little red. _

___"Shit! No way!" Yukari threw up her arms with anger. "You don't gotta' take any stupid tests? That's bogus!"_

___Minamo smiled. "That's just how it is. They...well...they think that I'll go pretty far...I'm not trying to brag, just, that's what they said, so, they'll give me acceptance like that..._" _She frowned. "...and my mom is...really pushing for me to sign up, too, because...well...it's kind of...a once-in-a-lifetime thing, I guess..."_

_"Yeah? Oh, well, not a big deal. Probably better for you to go somewhere with no test, with your brains anyways." Yukari laughed. "So, that why you took me out here, to tell me that you're goin' to a different college? Eh, it's no problem. We can still hang out all the time...oh, damn, hey! What if you got your own place? Maybe if my folks will spring for it, then I'll live with ya'!"_

_Her words came out slowly. "Yukari...I'd have to move if I went to the university that invited me."_

_The girl became confused. "Yeah...and? Sooner you get away from your stupid mom, the better."_

_"...I mean move out of town, Yukari."_

_"Ok, so? An-...wait. What?"_

_Minamo leaned against the wall as she continued to watch the world outside, suddenly quite tired. "It's a university in the east, Yukari, so...I'd have to move way out there. But...they're really...really top notch, and they've sent a lot of their women to the nationals before, and...well...beyond that, too. My mom has already talked to them, but-"_

_"You're gonna' leave?"_

_She looked back to her friend in alarm, Yukari's voice having become so suddenly troubled, her entire demeanour abruptly shifting along with it, her body language jagged and edgy._

_"So..." __The girl grabbed an empty burger wrapper upon the table, crinkling it nervously. "_You're gonna'...be outta' here...? That what you're tellin' me?"

_"...Yukari, wait a second. Just-"_

_"It's ok. I get it." A weak smile spread across the girl's face. "That's what you really called me out here for, huh? To tell me that you're goin' after graduation...?"_

_Minamo sighed deeply. "Yukari...please...wait..."_

_"Well...well...that's cool. You gotta' do...what you wanna' do, yeah?" Her words began to rush out from her mouth, anxiousness accelerating them. "Yeah...that's right. Don't...don't worry about me. It's good you told me about it. Now. I mean. And...and not later...so...yeah...don't worry about it. You wanted to make sure I'm ok with it, huh? Yeah. I am. Don't worry..."_

_Minamo could only gawk stupidly at her as she went on, the teenager across from her having just morphed into a complete stranger, this meek, demure mess that she couldn't at all __recognize_, that wasn't displaying any sort of behavior that the rowdy Yukari Tanizaki could normally possess.

___But, yet, there she was, the girl looking so perturbed now, so sullen, the transformation having occurred in an instant, and all because..._

_"...you don't really need me around, anyway..."_

_The odd feeling inside of her chest, that had begun to spark to life a few minutes ago, suddenly flared up, gaining heat as it burned away, Minamo's thoughts now fully engaged with the situation that was before her, of the face that was before her, the expression of it, the tortured twist of it, the eyes of it..._

_Her eyes. _

_They gave it all away._

_They opened her up, opened up this usually prideful, maniacal individual, who never showed her real emotions to anyone, who always tried so hard to hide them, to pretend that they didn't exist at all._

_And yet, in this exceptional circumstance, those frightened eyes of Yukari fully betrayed all of her past work, and they let Minamo connect._

_"...well, that's all you wanted to tell me, yeah? Ok. I...gotta' get...get goin' no-"_

_The girl abruptly silenced herself, staring down at her hand, Minamo now holding it with both her own, after she had reached across the table for it._

_"Listen. Just listen to me, Yukari. I didn't come here to tell you that I was going away. I..."_

_She shivered, this strange, delightful ecstasy now embracing her, encouraging her._

_"...I...I wanted to talk to you...about a problem. I don't...I don't know what to do..."_

_Yukari looked at her strangely. "...what? About what...?"_

_"Yukari..." _

_Minamo gripped the girl's hand tightly, and for some reason, some deep, special reason, she found that she never wanted to let go of it. _

_"My problem...is that I don't know what to do, Yukari...when I tell my mom that I want to stay here..."_

* * *

"W-what?"

"_I said I'll never get rid of you._"

Yukari looked down at her hand, her friend enveloping them with hers.

Minamo's voice began to fail her, her heart continuing to relentlessly pound away, her breaths coming out with increasing pace. "Why would you ever..._ever_ think...such a _stupid_ thought...?"

The woman looked back up to her, completely shocked at the sudden, sharp shift in her friend's emotional state.

"I'm sorry that I said that to you yesterday. I didn't want you gone. I was scared. I'd never listen to my mother, to just get rid of you like that. None of what she said about you is true. You never get in my way. You didn't get in my way. You made me so, _so_ happy with what you said to her. You don't believe it...you don't even believe it. And...I had to say that to you, Yukari, because...because..." She felt her face contort with grief." ..._because_ _I'm just a coward_, _Yukari_. Just a stupid, _stupid_ coward..."

"H-hey..._hey!_" Yukari quickly got up, rounding the table to stand by her, as soon as the first tear had rolled down her friend's face. "_Whoa, whoa!_ Stop! Don't...what...what are you talkin' about...?"

The weight of everything then came down upon Minamo in a flurry, consisting of all the pain that she had endured for fourteen long years, the immense agony of her loveless life, the brutal torture of knowing that the remedy for all of it, that the wonderful, perfect panacea that she had always so desperately sought for her troubles, was constantly, temptingly, in her presence.

_...and I can't...because..._

She dropped her head down into folded arms upon the table.

_...because...because_ _I'm a coward..._

And then everything came out.

"_Minamo!_ Hey!" Yukari put her hands on her shoulders, holding her friend as she began to sob heavily. "_Whoa! Whoa...Minamo! Hey!_ What...what the hell...?"

_This can't be real. It can't be. Is this...is this really what it feels like? But...that's not me. It can't be...the real me...just because...she liked my smile..._

"_Hey!_ Tell me what's wrong! Did...did I say somethin' wrong...? Minamo? Hey!_ Hey_!"

___...why? Why is this coming back into my life now? That was...that was just a phase. Just a phase...when I was young.._.how I felt about her...how I...how I still feel...it keeps coming back...just keeps coming back. Why? Why...? It can't possibly mean...

Yukari tried to lift her up, but Minamo refused to budge, ferociously sticking herself to the table, not daring, not daring at all, to see her friend's face, something inside of her telling her, shrieking at her, to not do so under any circumstance.

_But I can't. I can't be like that. There's no way...no way at all. Everyone...everyone would know. I couldn't deal with that...not then...not now...not ever..._

Her cries grew in magnitude, Yukari still trying her absolute best to console her, the woman completely baffled by the actions of her fellow teacher, saying anything, everything that she possibly could, to somehow alleviate the situation, none of it having the least bit of effect.

_And...if I told her...if I ever told Yukari..._

_No._

_I could never._

_Not after I lied._

_Straight to her._

_About..._

_...about..._

_...how I fell..._

_...in love with her._

_How I loved her..._

_...and..._

_...and then..._

_...also.._

_..._

_...her._

A sharp, painful bellow emanated from Minamo then, her awareness beginning to fade, the only sound that she could hear now being that of her own ragged lamentations.

_It would be over._

_All over._

_So..._

_I'll just have to forget._

_Again._

_I'll just have to forget everything._

_Just forget everything._

_Like back then._

_Just forget._

_Forget..._

_Why?_

_Because I have to, obviously._

_Because._

_My life..._

_It'd be over._

_Even though..._

_Even...though..._

_...it's my life._

_My life._

_My...life..._

_...my...life..._

_...my..._


	31. Part I Chapter 31

**Author's Notes**

Hi!

Chapter pic in my profile. You sort of have to see this one to 'get' some of it.

~Mendhi

* * *

Part I

Chapter 31

_..._

_...my..._

_...my..._

_...it's...my..._

_...it's my life..._

...

_It's..._

_It's my..._

_...life..._

_..._

* * *

_The air started to clear._

_Around her was darkness, a bath of black. Nothing was recognizable, nothing made sense._

_She was just there._

_'...my...'_

_..._

_'...my life.'_

_..._

_'It's my life.'_

_..._

_'Isn't it?'_

_..._

_'I remember...I remember someone telling me that...'_

_..._

_'...and I thought I listened to her.'_

_..._

_'Didn't I?'_

_..._

_'Aren't I doing what I want?'_

_..._

_'I mean...didn't I do what I wanted...'_

_..._

_'...when they took this picture?'_

_..._

_*flip*_

_'Oh, wow, it's on every page.'_

_*flip flip flip*_

_'Why did they make a yearbook with the same picture on every page? That seems strange.'_

_..._

_'...but it's a nice picture. I think so, anyway.'_

_..._

_'I look happy in it.'_

_..._

_'I think I remember being happy. But was she? She's looking at me strangely.'_

_..._

_'Did I did do something wrong? Was she angry?'_

_..._

_'But why? I just...wanted to touch her.'_

_..._

_'And hold her...just a little...'_

_..._

_'Even if it was just our hands...'_

_..._

_'Because...isn't that what someone wants to do...'_

_..._

_'...when you're in love?'_

_"Oh, hey, that's your senpai, eh?"_

_Minamo glanced up from the book that was in her lap, Yukari leaning down next to her, looking at it as well. "Yeah."_

_"You love her, huh?"_

_She returned her attention to the yearbook, going through a few more pages, fawning over the same picture over and over. "I don't know. I think so. I think I'm in love."_

_"How can you tell?"_

_Minamo thought for a few moments. "...I just...feel really happy whenever I'm with her...like more than with my other friends. She's amazing...just amazing. She's...she's always so confident, and just knows what to always say...she's amazing Yukari. And...I don't know how to describe it. I just feel so safe with her, like, I can just be who I am with her. But...sometimes...I don't know. Sometimes I don't feel like that. Sometimes...sometimes I just get angry..."_

_"What ya' mean?"_

_Her fingers began to tightly press around the book. "I get mad when she's with other people."_

_Yukari gave her a puzzled look. "Huh? Why would you get mad about that?"_

_"I don't know."_

_"You don't want her to have any other friends, or what?"_

_She shook her head. "It's not that. It's...when one of them gets to close to her. I hate that. It makes me...so angry..."_

_The woman knelt on the ground, sitting upright on her toes. "Why?"_

_"Because she should only be like that with me."_

_"Why?"_

_"Because."_

_"Because why?"_

_She felt her temper suddenly flare. "Because she's mine."_

_"Yours?"_

_"That's right. I don't care what you think. Or what anyone else thinks. I'm the only person that's in love with her...and...and she feels that way about me, too."_

_"How'd you figure that out?"_

_"...figure what out?"_

_"That she's in love with you."_

_Minamo found herself beginning to become incredibly irritated with her friend. "What a stupid question. How...how stupid of you to ask that..."_

_Yukari crooked her head. "So, what, she told you she loves you, then?"_

_A brief period of time passed by before she responded. "...I just know, ok?"_

_"You don't know anythin'."_

_"Shutup!" Minamo's voice devolved into a growl. "She doesn't have to say it. I just know what she feels about me. She's always really nice to me, and watches out for me, and, and helps me with anything...and speaks really kindly to me..."_

_The woman laughed. "What's so special about that? Just 'cause she's always bein' nice to you on the team doesn't mean nothin'."_

_She looked up at Yukari then, giving her a terrible glare for what she had just said. "Yes it does!"_

_Her friend just smiled back calmly. "Hey, let me ask you somethin', Minamo."_

_"What?"_

_"Why do you like girls?"_

_"...huh?"_

___"Like, what do you see in 'em?"_

_Her stare went back down to the yearbook. "I don't know why."_

_"You don't know why you're a lesbian?"_

_She felt something tear apart inside of her chest. "I'm...I'm not..."_

_"You just said you were in love with your senpai, didn't you?" Yukari pushed her shoulder teasingly, chuckling. "Come on, you totally are one. Just admit it already."_

_Minamo felt herself begin to shrink then, something so tremendously frightening about the way in which Yukari had just laughed at her. It was as if she weren't just listening to a single individual cajole her, but rather, a chorus of voices, all of them filtering through the woman next to her, snickering at once, simultaneously impaling her with a barrage of callous mockery._

_"Come on, just say it. You know, everyone thinks that you're one, anyway."_

_"...thinks I'm what?"_

_"That you're a lesbian."_

_"...I said I wasn't..."_

_"Yeah, right, you liar. Everyone can see it. They all can. They saw it with your senpai. You were always all over her."_

_Her head bent down low, Minamo attempting to somehow hide herself in the pages of the yearbook, her eyes averting themselves well away from the woman. "We...we were...just friends..."_

_"So you weren't in love with her?"_

_"...I..."_

_Yukari patted her back heartily. "You're such a shitty liar, Minamo."_

_ Her quaking hands covered her ears in desperation. "...please...just leave me alone."_

_"Everyone knows what you are."_

_"Stop..."_

_"All the kids did. I bet even the teachers did, too."_

_"Stop it!" She began to wail into her lap. "I'm not like that! And no one thinks of me like that! No one...no one does...no one..."_

_Yukari laughed, and again, Minamo heard the cackling of other individuals along with it. "Yeah? Well, you know, even if they don't know, they will know."_

_"...what?"_

_"You know what I'm talkin' about."_

_"...no..."_

_"Sure you do, best'est pal."_

_Her teeth began to grind._

_"Everyone's gonna' know your secret, you damn liar. __Damn, fuckin' liar." Yukari leaned in close to her, attempting to look up at her face as her friend hid it, her voice a whisper now. "Stupid. Fucking. Liar."_

_Minamo continued to stare at the photos before her in silence._

_Yukari brought herself back upright, sitting on her hands. "You used me."_

_A small, weak shake of her head was produced._

_"Used me all these fuckin' years. That's what you did. And you know it. So, you know what I'm gonna' do, old pal? Yeah, you know what I'm gonna' do. I'm not gonna' let you do it no more. No more, 'cause I'm gonna' tell everyone. Tell everyone what you are. Then they'll get why you're not married yet. They'll get it. And you know who I'm gonna' tell first? Every single one of your students. Yeah. Those kids. Those kids are gonna' know, Minamo. They're gonna' know all about how disgustin' you are, 'cause I'm gonna' tell 'em all what you wrote in that damn lette-"_

_Minamo lunged at her friend, Yukari vanishing into the darkness as she did.  
_

_"Don't!"_

_She fell onto her hands, screaming desperately into the empty abyss._

_"Don't...! Don't...please...don't tell anyone...Yukari. Yukari! Don't...tell...please...please...please..."_

_Her cries abruptly ceased, the presence of another individual quickly becoming tangible to her._

_Minamo sat up in a flurry, her eyes darting about the bleak area, seeing nothing, hearing nothing, yet she knew, somehow knew, that another person was now with her._

_'A woman...?'_

_A figure emerged from somewhere, now walking towards her._

_'...no...a girl? An adult? I can't...I can't tell...'_

_It continuously shifted, the appearance of this individual, from a young female to an older one, back and forth, her identity unable to be refined as she made her way to where Minamo was, s__itting down next to her, close to her, so terribly close._

_"You can do it if you want. I don't really mind."_

_Minamo flinched. She knew that voice. It was so incredibly familiar to her, yet it was just out of her memory's reach in order to properly grab hold of. "Do...wha-"_

_The figure, the woman, placed her forehead against hers, their bodies mingling together. "If you want."_

_"What?"_

_"If you want."_

_The phrase repeated itself in the black._

_"If you want. If you want. If you want. If you want..."_

_Minamo stared at her blankly, unable to make out any distinct facial features, unable to deduce the true character of this amorphous woman, but regardless of all that, she was so positive in feeling that she still did somehow know who this person was. The voice, the way she moved, the aura about her, all of it was a dead giveaway, the woman's name and image just on the precipice of Minamo's consciousness._

_"Why do you want to try it, though?"_

_"...try...try what?"_

_"Really? That's why? Oh, well, do what you want."_

_"...what...what are you ta-"_

_Her words came to a muffled halt, the woman having just completely covered her mouth with her own._

_"Mmmph...?"_

_Minamo hadn't felt herself move into it, hadn't even noticed the action take place, her lips just suddenly, instantly, having melding with figure's, totally outside the scope of her awareness, the two of them now embraced in a deep, solid kiss, the ecstatic sensation of it completely rocking her mind and heart. _

_She was kissing a woman. She was doing it, experiencing it, and slowly, as the amount of joy began to drown out her senses, she fully succumbed to reveling in it._

_Because it was wonderful. _

_Incredible._

_Amazing._

_Extraordinary._

_And then Minamo felt it, this overwhelming flood of pure relief, a massive amount of abatement that set loose something inside of her, unwinding a tension that had choked her inner being for far, far too long. Guilt was no longer guiding her thoughts in terms of who she loved, blissful sensuality having now taken over as she began to dissolve into this person, this woman, this lovely, fantastic situation._

_Time crept by so slowly then, Minamo remaining locked together with her enigmatic lover, not ever wanting this moment to stop, to be released from her. This is what she had always so desperately craved, to be truly intimate with another woman, to forget all the ridicule, the scorn, that would be tossed at her, simply because her heart yearned for something that was so different from everyone else's desires._

_'Different...'_

_Her arms wrapped around the figure, loving her dearly._

_'...I just...I just don't want...to be hated. Why is that so wrong? Why...why is that...so-'_

_Minamo cried in alarm as she suddenly flew across the ground, her hands clutching her face in pain._

_'W-what...?'_

_It hurt beyond belief, the horrible, aching gash that had been just planted across her cheek, something, someone, having just struck her with a blow that had ripped her skin apart, sucked her senses dry._

_Blood was everywhere. Her face, her hands, her body, it stained it all, stung it all._

_And then she tasted it. _

_Minamo gagged, coughing it all out as it spewed forth from her mouth, cascading down forcefully from her lips, filling the area, the world, with her warm life._

_The woman was gone. The sensation of kissing, of loving, was gone, and now all that was left for Minamo was pain. Unrelenting, agonizing, pain._

_"...help...help me..."_

_She felt the hate, the hostility, of the one who had attacked her. In the darkness, Minamo knew that someone despised her, the person, the thing, still out there, watching her suffer, watching her pass away._

_"Do you love me, Minamo?"_

_Yukari was standing over her now._

_"You're in love with me?"_

_She couldn't respond._

_"Then why did you use me?"_

_Minamo let go a tormented cry, Yukari stomping down on her chest, kicking her now._

_"You deserve this. You're just like everyone else."_

_Laughter filled the air, from a countless amount of people._

_"You love me? You're in love with me. You're in love with me. Yup. Nope? Do you know? You're in love with me..."_

_The words, the laughter, the pain, it all went on, Minamo fading away, gradually fading away as her eyes became too heavy to keep open.__  
_

_The yearbook lay in silence behind them at a distance, blood splattered across it, pages flipping over by the hand of a thin breeze._

_And then, she died._


	32. Part I Chapter 32

**Author's Notes**

Hello!

Sorry for the long wait. Hopefully I can get back into the groove now.

~Mendhi

* * *

Part I

Chapter 32

_..._

_...it's..._

_...it's..._

_...it's..._

_...my..._

_..._

_...it's my blood._

_My blood..._

_It's everywhere._

_It's...my blood..._

_...my..._

_..._

* * *

Minamo sat upon the bed with her back against the wall, arms wrapped around her knees, head tucked in against them.

_...senpai._

A long, aching sigh filled her apartment, the darkness of the night swallowing it up.

_I got over you. I did. I know I did. But...but then why...? Why did I just dream about you? I haven't thought about you since...since high school. Why are you back now, then, senpai...?_

The minutes passed away slowly, faint sounds of the neighborhood life outside permeating softly through the walls.

_I was so scared...about what you meant to me. Why did everyone else care about that? Why? I never did anything wrong to them...so why did they hate me? Just because I was...because I had something for you. Because...you were special to me..._

The nightmare was still fresh in her mind, that same old breed of bloody nightmare that had tormented Minamo for the better part of her life, ruining yet another night of sleep for her. Resuming her slumber would be a quite difficult endeavor now, the fear that horrible dream had instilled having completely rattled her nerves, letting loose a torrent of bitter emotions and recollections that now raged about inside of her, preventing both her eyes and mind from obtaining any semblance of peace.

_That's all over...it's been over since then! I'm...I'm not the same anymore. I changed...it was just a phase. I know I got over it all. I know I got over her...and..._

Her entire body cringed in upon itself.

_...Yukari._

It seeped into her thoughts once again, just as it had been doing so throughout the entire day so far, the faint remnants of that distant memory easily taking advantage of her exhausted will, Minamo unable to keep up the fight as it poured itself into her consciousness.

_I still don't understand. I'll never understand...why you did that..._

Slowly, all of it trickled through the subtle fractures that littered the surface of her mind, fragile ruptures that had been gradually accumulating upon it for almost half of Minamo's life now, when the first true beat of her heart had completely rocked it so long ago.

"Why...? You...that's not who you are. I don't understand...I'll never understand you...not in the least way..."

Her voice was a thin whisper.

"...how could you do that? Why...what were you thinking? What are you always thinking, Yukari...?"

The scene continued to congeal, forming together into the one memory that Minamo had tried so, _so_ hard to forget over the course of the last fifteen years, ever since it had first been inscribed into her being. It was a day, an event, that had made her fully aware of a part of herself that she quickly realized that she couldn't possess, was ridiculed to have, but that she had still never been able to truly get rid of in any real fashion, the element being of the greatest part of her psyche.

And so, every now and then, despite Minamo's best efforts, it would break through all the barriers that held it at bay, its power always energized by the actions of that girl...that woman.

Because of that woman.

Because of that Yukari.

_You..._

It would just be something that she would do, or something that she would say, that would trigger it all.

Just a few simple words on her part.

With a certain inflection of her voice, a particular motion of her hands, her body.

Or, as was the case this morning, during that surreal encounter in the woman's own home...

...just a particular type of face.

An expression.

A sad, depleted expression, that always reminded Minamo of who she was truly dealing with.

Of what her old, old friend was actually made of.

_...you don't need anyone. No you don't. You've never...needed anyone in your life..._

She had barely made it out. Minamo had barely, just _barely,_ been able to pull herself together in the midst of her friend's kitchen, had _barely_ been able to control her tear as she had sat at the table, desperately trying to cover over the core of herself, the most sensitive part of her heart that had been so briefly exposed to the one person that she had never wanted it to be shown to.

And it was all because of that face.

That sad longing face.

When her friend had shown her need, her desire, to always be in Minamo's good graces.

_Why?_

Her arms wrapped even more tightly around her legs.

_Why in the world does someone like you...want to be around someone like me? Why do you want to stick by me, even when we fight so much...? Why?_

An answer to her questions passed through her thoughts, and it instantly caused her heart to flare wildly.

_...what do I mean to you...? Why...why do I always care so much...?_

The feelings made their return again, the same intense emotions that had completely taken her in the morning, the ones that had thrown Yukari into a bout of confusion, wondering what in the world had just caused her to suffer such a terrible breakdown.

And Minamo had made sure, absolutely sure, to explain that it had nothing to do with her in the slightest of ways.

It was just the pressure of her life at the moment that had caused it all. That was it. It was was her mother's fault, her own fault, for why she had lost control of her emotions. It had nothing to do with her old friend, and she had vehemently stated that to her. Over and over again, throughout the morning, throughout the entire work day, whenever Yukari wanted to make sure everything was alright, Minamo had told her not to worry, that the root of problems didn't lay with her in the slightest.

The woman, of course, had totally and completely believed her.

Just like all those other times.

_...you're not supposed to like anyone. Why...why do you want me to be you friend, then? Why? Don't you know...don't you question me...? Why don't you ever...question me...?_

The memory continued to patch itself together, and as it did, she heard the words.

_-Love letter-_

It hammered through Minamo's attempts to bury it again, breaking through the locks that had bound it for so long, and her history began to unfold.

_...why do you always...trust me?_

Yukari. In the midst of her mind's eye, she could see Yukari, standing on the desk, with the letter, Minamo's dear, precious letter, gripped tightly in her hands.

And she was reading it. Yukari was reading it aloud to the group of classmates that surrounded her, doing so with that amused, mocking voice that she had become so infamous for, even in her very first year of high school, because everyone had quickly grown to fear it. It was almost an instinct, to be wary of the girl's voice whenever it had that humorous edge to it, because it was always a signal for the incoming taunts that would soon be spewed forth from her mouth, the barbs, the jests, the razor insults, that always gave their victims so much grief, and Yukari so much joy.

Minamo saw a smirk then, cutting across the girl's face. That painful, killer smirk that everyone knew so well.

_...why was it you...?_

Her hair was flailing about, that tangled bird's nest, a ribbon pinching it off, another one of the recognizable trademarks that made up the whole of this teenager, this delinquent who never had any qualms about being a rowdy, obnoxious, trouble-making brat.

Had no problems being a menace to all her classmates.

Nor being an instigator of ridiculous quarrels and fights.

Nor being a bully to anyone who she felt like being one to.

_That's all you were...that's all you still are..._

Minamo continued to watch it all. Yukari was still speaking. The girl was saying something to the class, motioning with a hand, pointing a finger.

Pointing right at her.

Right at where Minamo was standing in the doorway, who in turn was staring at everything with total and utter shock.

_You...you're not... supposed to..._

One of her classmates spoke up then, and then another, and another.

A discussion erupted, a whirlwind of gossip and theories now circulating about the homeroom, all of it set off by what that raucous girl on the desk had just orated so dramatically, so enthusiastically.

And it was her.

That girl.

That Tanizaki girl.

_...but you still did it._

She was the one.

_You..._

She was the one who did it all.

_...you!_

She was the one, who, with that slanted, glinting grin of hers, had made the entire class burst out into laughter.

_"Why did you do that?"_

Minamo shook her head against her knees, hugging her legs dearly to herself as her cry echoed weakly around her.

_Why did you do that, Yukari? __I'll never understand...I never will. I don't get it. I don't...I don't...I don't. I'll never understand...I'll never get...what's in that head of yours..._

* * *

The display on the bed stand clock hit 3:00 AM as moonlight spilled in from behind her, illuminating the book that Minamo was staring at so intensely as she sat upon the carpet in the darkness, her back to the balcony window.

It sucked her in completely, the old photo.

_You're always so funny._

She ran a finger over one of them, pretending to massage the face of the girl that was depicted, an image of Yukari as she was back in high school, gleaming madly at the camera among a group of a few other students.

_...you're always making me laugh. You're always...doing that..._

Minamo's eyes burned in the image of her old friend as she continued to flip through the yearbook, a piece of her past that she hadn't touched, nor seen, since she had first obtained it during her initial year of high school. She had only pulled it out tonight, from the crumbled bottom of a cardboard box stuffed with other books, because she had felt it call out to her, this pull that had forced her to look at it again, commanded her to view it, even though she had always despised the thing, avoided it.

_...oh._

She felt her chest seize up in cold terror.

_There it is._

The photo she was now looking at laughed back at her.

_...senpai._

In Minamo's mind, she heard it, all the laughter, all the disdain, the disgust, from what everyone had thought of her back then, when this picture had first been published. In front of the high school pool, there she was, nervously holding the hand of one of her seniors, pressing it, feeling it, caressing it...

...while being stupidly oblivious to that stare.

_...she thought the same._

The chill began to flood the rest of her body with an old, familiar dread as she looked at her senpai's face, that beautiful, compassionate face that Minamo, at one point in her life, had been so enamored with, so fascinated with. But in this instance, in this particular photo, the usual serenity of the elder girl's face, that all of the other girls had known her so well for, was absent, having become twisted with a coat of suspicion, a terrible derision.

_She hated me...just like everyone else._

Her lips began to shiver.

_...everyone...everyon-_

She quickly flipped back to a previous page, the one that had a photo of Yukari, and she allowed it to consume the entirety of her focus.

_You won't let them._

A weak, thin smile spread across Minamo's face as she gazed in earnest at the yearbook, the fear of her senpaii, of the world, slowly dissipating as the wonderful warmth eradicated it.

_I have you. That's all I need. You won't let them get me. You...you're so much better than she was. I don't care about senpai anymore. Not at all. No. Or anyone. Just you. Just...just my Yukari...mine. Only mine...no one else's...just...mine..._

She began to drown herself in fantasy, the restraints on her true desires all but shattered now. Her mind was frayed and sleep-deprived, her body exhausted, her defenses down, and with that, her voracious heart was then free to feast.

_...I still love you._

She closed the yearbook, embracing it to her chest, remembering the sole reason that she had kept such a toxic relic of her past as the high school images of Yukari filled her mind, consoling it.

_I just want to be with you. I love you. I love you...I still love you, Yukari. Yukari...why aren't you here with me now? I want to see your face. I want to hear...I want to hear you talk...talk to me...and tell me that you'll stay with me, too, even when...when no one else will. Because...you need me...don't you? I...I need you..._

For a moment, she recalled that scene when the woman was in front of her, shielding her from her mother's angry words.

_...I need you...I need you to tell me...that you're ok with me, that you want me to be ok...that...you like me...that...you love me, like I love you..._

All of the feelings would pass away again, just as they always had before, when the fissures in Minamo's self-awareness would gradually diminish, when the truth of her inner nature and personality would be covered over with a patchwork fix of self-delusions and guilt. But, for this night at least, the cravings that she had guarded so fervently from the outside world, the secrets from the deepest parts of her heart, would be allowed to run rampant.

The allure of women, it was there again, making her forget everything else. It came and went from time to time in her life, whenever Minamo was reminded of the possibility of loving her own gender, of loving a woman who everyone else couldn't seem to stand, but that she, somehow, had fallen in love with regardless, so many years ago.

A woman that she was still in love with, from the very first moment that she had connected with her on that sunny high school afternoon, forging a passion that was still fresh, still potent, even after she had long become an adult.

"Yukari..."

In a day, a few days, a week, she would recast the veil of Minamo Kurosawa over herself, a hard-working individual who just had some slight difficulty with men, which would always serve as the excuse as to why she was still single. It was, however, unknown to her of what a flimsy explanation that was, all the people that knew her always wondering as to how in the world that someone so kind, so wise, so attractive, could still be an unmarried woman at her age.

They always wondered, but Minamo had gotten by anyways, because she didn't have to tell the truth. Not to them, not to herself, not to anyone.

Because it was so easy to avoid.

It was easy to avoid the shame, that horrible, debilitating shame, that would destroy her.

Annihilate her.

So, she just avoided it.

Since lying was so easy.

_Lie..._

Minamo closed her eyes.

_After all you did...after all I made you go through. Yukari...Yukari. If I told you...if I told you that I lied to you...every single time...every, single, time..._

_'...kindest...'_

Before she drifted to sleep upon the floor of her apartment, before she would take on the guise once more, her real self spoke.

"...would you still tell me...that you love my smile...?"


	33. Part I Chapter 33

**Author's Notes**

Hey!

Chapter pic in my profile. Also, a big thank you to RPPuzzle for editing this one for me! :)

Have a great Halloween!

~Mendhi

* * *

Part I

Chapter 33

An annoyed breath passed through Minamo's lips as she watched the traffic ahead of her remain stagnant. Although she wasn't in any particular hurry to get back to her apartment, she never really enjoyed spending more time in her vehicle than necessary; sitting down for long periods of time always greatly bothering someone of her athletic nature.

_Come on...move already._

The cars in front of her didn't seem to hear her thoughts as they stayed frozen upon the road, a somewhat normal sight for this part of the city. On any other day, Minamo would go to great lengths in order to avoid such a busy place, visits to the heart of the local metropolitan area always such a gigantic, laborious endeavor to undertake because of the congestion. However, on this particular day, she had to forego her usual aversions.

She glanced out the window as she waited, watching thousands of pedestrians, bags full of high-priced designer merchandise clutched tightly in their hands, flow past the towering malls and businesses that were located along the sides of the streets.

…_I wonder if I did spend too much?_

She looked down at her own purchase then, which was stuffed inside a glossy, branded bag that sat upon her passenger seat.

…_I don't know. It's ok to spend like this once in a while, but...when's the next time that I'm going to wear this outside of Friday? Now I'll have to force myself to find occasions to wear it on. Geez, what a pain..._

With a lengthy sigh of annoyance, Minamo attempted to get the price of her freshly acquired dress suit and heels off of her mind. Spending large amounts of her hard-earned money on clothing wasn't something that had ever sat too well with her, especially when it was of a style that she disliked to begin with. The skirt-look didn't exactly conform to her tastes and desired image, and, if it wasn't for the special occasion that was quickly coming upon her, Minamo would have never even thought of wearing such a getup, let alone purchasing one.

_It'll be worth it though, I guess. The administrators will be happy, and I should look nice in it. I mean, it is pretty fashionable, but…_

The butterflies began to return to her stomach as she focused her attention back to the road ahead of her.

…_ugh, what about the kids? Will they think that I look silly? I never dress up like that, but…oh! The kids! Geez! Well, I got all their college information ready, so that's good. Grades…grades! All done! I think…? I'll double check one more time when I get home…just to make sure. Oh, and then…!_

A review of the speech that she'd be giving to her students, the details of the logistics of their futures, their career choices, their lives, all of it flowed through her mind for almost the hundredth time today, her usual perfectionism taking control of her thoughts.

_Should I bring them some treats? No…don't be silly. They aren't that young. But…it'd be nice though, wouldn't it…? Some sweets? Would it be cheesy to do? Or, mayb- _

Her eyes suddenly caught her reflection in the rear view mirror, her face appearing slightly erratic.

Minamo smiled to herself then, taking in a deep breath to calm down her nerves.

_The other teachers are right. Maybe I do think things over too much. I'm just going to get myself worked up about all of this again. Come on, just give it a rest for a bit, Minamo. Everything is going to be fine…_

With some effort, she was able to push back all the worries, persuading herself that her upcoming performance would be nothing short of immaculate. But within just a minute, however, they all returned to her, Minamo once again furiously pouring over the momentous event's details, of the long-awaited day when she would finally be graduating the first senior class of her teaching career.

_...oh, better go._

Traffic was beginning to move again, and she brought her car into the flow as she continued to mull everything over, needing it all to be as carefully planned out as possible before the fact. Minamo had seen off classes before in her time, but to do so as a homeroom teacher of a third year class was proving to be quite a different experience. This would be the last occasion in which she would be able to personally assist this set of students in both their academic and home lives, and so she wanted to make absolutely sure that they would be as ready as they possibly could be for their post-high school adventures, and, of course, to make sure that their final day on campus was an enjoyable one.

…_yeah, they'll all be fine. I did my best for them…I hope it's enough. They were all so crazy, but…they're all good kids. They really are…well, most of the time anyway…_

She looked over to her purchase again, beginning to snicker.

…_oh, man, I really did forget how those guys can act sometimes, though. I'm sure they're all going to give me a hard time about wearing this, I just know it. Especially the heels. I'm not going to hear the end of that one…ack! Speaking of kids…ugh, I totally forgot about Yukari…_

Minamo turned her car onto a ramp as she continued to motor along the road, getting onto a highway that would take her close to her neighborhood.

_She's going to have a field day with me. When was the last time that I dressed up like this? Was it for a meeting…? I forgot, but, I do remember her torturing me about how I looked in it. Man…she better not do that in front of my students…_

Slowly, as the minutes went by, Minamo began to feel herself relaxing as she fell into the groove of driving on open, traffic-free lanes.

…_I mean…why can't she just say that I look nice for once instead?_

Her thoughts began to wander just slightly off their regular tracks.

_And…you know, I wouldn't mind it if she did. Maybe it's not my kind of outfit, but…if Yukari said I looked good in it…well…_

For just a brief moment, her heart enjoyed a break from its restraints, that old emotion still residing deep inside her, craving to be free.

…_I'd really…love that…_

The guard, however, quickly returned as she became aware of herself, and the cell was shut closed.

…_anyway...the kids…oh. What about the kids who didn't get into the college they wanted? What should I be telling them…?_

Minamo began to shift her attention to other matters then as she continued to cruise upon the road, her feelings for her old friend having just been hauled back into the darkness, denied of liberty as they became a scorned captive once more, robbed of the warmth that they had just so fleetingly felt.

That wonderful warmth.

The last time that Minamo Kurosawa experienced it, had truly experienced it, had been right there in the woman's own home, almost a year and a half ago. On that day, Minamo's heart had bled so freely in front of the one individual that she still loved so deeply, even after fifteen years of never being able to find the courage to tell her so, Yukari always so oblivious to her affections, her desire for her. But even though she had almost completely lost control of herself on that occasion, weeping right there at the kitchen table for the one she loved, Minamo had still been able to hide it all away somehow, able to recover the situation as the normal operations of their awkward friendship had resumed.

Throughout another summer, throughout another round of high school antics and real life dramas, she was still just Yukari's friend, and that's all that the woman in question needed to see her as, that the world needed to see her as, in the scope of their old relationship.

_Oh…guess I should pick up some groceries when I get back. I could use the walk…I need to stretch my legs!_

Her car continued on with the journey home under a bright, open, March sky.

* * *

"I'll never forget you, sensei! I swear I'll write you a letter every week!"

"Thanks for everything, sensei. You're the best teacher in the world!"

"Thank you!"

"Yeah! You're the best!"

"We love you!"

Minamo smiled widely, the expression fueled by her happiness as she gave her students one last batch of hugs and farewells, a few parting words of advice, and hearty assurances that she would stay in close touch with every single one of them.

"Let's go out and celebrate, sensei!"

"Yeah...come with us! C'mon!"

"We can get dinner together! Oh, and do some karaoke, too!"

"Yeah!"

Her humble smile melted them all. "M-...maybe! Maybe...maybe we'll do something together!"

That class burst into cheers.

"Let's go tonight, sensei!"

"Yeah! Tonight! C'mon, Kurosawa-sensei!"

Minamo had to shout her next words over their boisterous pleadings. "O-ok! You guys…you guys tell me where you're going…and I'll join you there if I can! But…but just for a bit…!"

The raucous group of homeroom students loudly celebrated her decision, soon holding a discussion as to where they would be holding their party at, making absolutely sure that their dear sensei would be attending as well.

And then, after another ten or so minutes of tearful farewells and heartfelt applause for her, Minamo escorted the lot of them out of the classroom and into the hallway, their diplomas clasped tightly in their hands as they departed from their final homeroom session. "Take care, guys!"

Another hail of love, and then it was all finally over.

With a tired, heavy sigh, Minamo walked back into the room, wearily plunking herself down onto her desk chair, her mind and heart feeling so strangely fatigued after the long, hectic day.

_Good luck, kids._

Her smile was still there, gracing her face, but the wistfulness that she was now experiencing had begun to take some of the charm out of it. The entire graduation ceremony, the love from her students, the dismay they expressed in leaving, all of it had suddenly caught up with Minamo in the silence of the now empty classroom.

She propped her elbows upon her table, having a bit of trouble in doing so, given how little space there was left. Strewn across the top of it was a huge assortment of presents, flowers, cards, and other gifts that her students had showered her with, the whole of it looking like something out of a store display.

Her chin rested in her hands as she gazed upon it all.

_...did I actually mean that much to them?_

Every kind word and gesture that her students had just presented her with went through Minamo's mind then, warming her heart even further than it already had been. From the very second that she had entered into their final homeroom at the end of the day, to hand out their diplomas and give her farewells to them, Minamo had been outright bombarded with their affections. She had naturally been prepared to deal with some form of gratitude before heading in, but the sheer magnitude of the appreciation that she had received had left her absolutely stunned.

Her fingers went to a flower in one of the bouquets, rubbing a petal between them as she attempted to cope with all of the adulation.

_They…were just being nice, weren't they? They'd do that for any teacher…wouldn't they…?_

Minamo had always been modest about her reputation on campus, but she had never been ignorant of it. Everyone loved her, from the youngest student to the oldest faculty member, a fact that she was constantly reminded of every single day. But yet, to walk into her own homeroom and feel the fullest force of that pure adoration was just something that was so surreal to her. She had been appreciated by her previous classes before, but to hear it with such might from a graduating class…

…_it's because they were my kids. I was with them all this time, and now, I can't see them every day anymore…_

She sighed quietly to herself, the weight of the situation starting to truly get to her. Those were _her _third years, most of them having been with her since their first day on campus, that she had personally helped with all sorts of issues, had found colleges for, had basically assisted in planning out their entire lives. Every single one of them had been dear to her, and now, after witnessing the amount of love that they had just hit her with, Minamo had, after all these years of teaching, finally understood just how dear she was to _them_.

She began to chuckle awkwardly, her smile breaking apart as a somber joy escaped from within her, Minamo closing her eyes in order to keep them dry.

_I never knew. I never…I never thought they could see me like that. I always figured that I was just their teacher…and they go and give me all these gifts? And now, they even want me to go out with them tonight? I…can't believe i-_

"…coach?"

Minamo sat up abruptly, her head twisting toward the classroom door, her smile restoring itself to almost twice its original size. "Kagura!"

The girl stepped inside slowly, looking around the room. "Hey…so is everyone gone already? I didn't wanna' bug you if you were still with your class, 'cause ours just got out, so, uh…"

"No, no! Come in! Come in!" She got up from her seat, heading over towards her.

Kagura looked at her blankly for a moment before a sneer flew across her face. "Man, coach…ok, I guess I can say this now that we're alone, but, man, that is totally _not _you…"

Minamo crooked her head with confusion. "Wh-what isn't…?"

The teenager laughed lightly. "Your clothes…I mean, I think you look great in them, coach, but, uh, I just, well, I guess I'm not used to seeing you in something like that." She nodded towards her.

Minamo looked down at herself, snickering along with her former student as she clacked a heel upon the floor. "Ah…well, thanks. Yeah…I suppose you can think of it as my costume for today…"

Kagura got out a few more laughs, promptly ceasing them once she took a look at the desk behind her sensei. "_Holy crap!_"

Minamo turned around, becoming instantly embarrassed. "Ah…they're just…gifts the students gave…"

"Man, it's like it's your birthday or something!" Kagura rushed towards the desk, gawking at everything that covered it. "Look at all this swag! I…damn, I shoulda' got you something, too…"

She spun around. "No…don't be silly. I think…I think the kids went…a little overboard…"

"…nah, coach. It's probably not enough, really."

Minamo leaned in closer, her student's voice having just become quite low. "Ah…sorry, what was that?"

Kagura shook her head. "N-nothing…anyway..." She raised an arm up, a sealed diploma gripped in her hand. "Um…yeah, anyway…I just…came by to show you thi-"

Minamo didn't hesitate for a second as she threw her arms around her most favorite pupil, giving her a warm, tight hug. "I'm so proud of you, Kagura!" She stepped back, placing a hand on the girl's hair as she messed with it. "_Congratulations!_ You don't know how happy I am for you! Didn't I tell you that you could do it?"

Her student looked down at the ground with obvious bashfulness. "Y-yeah…yeah…"

She held the girl by the shoulders then, smiling humorously at her shyness. "You're going to be a great athlete, Kagura. I'm not kidding: you're probably the most talented student that I've ever had. I'm so proud of you and so excited to see what you're going to do in the future."

Kagura swallowed hard as she tried to contain heself, bowing her head. "…thank you for everything…"

Minamo chuckled. "Don't thank me! It was all about your hard work, Kagura. I can't ta-"

"_You really changed my life, coach! If I hadn't met you then I don't know where I'd be right now."_

Her eyes opened widely, Kagura's voice suddenly full of passion.

The girl raised her head up, abruptly taking one of her coach's hands in both of hers, gripping it tightly as she began to shake it up and down with vigor. "_You're the nicest person I've ever met…you're the best sensei in the world. Th-thanks…thanks for everything! And…you really mean a lot to me, coach…and everyone! Like the whole squad! And class, and stuff…and…and…you're the best…_"

Kagura went on with her unrestrained praise, Minamo becoming startled as she was taken aback by it all. Eventually, though, the blaring speech wound down after some last exasperated breaths from the girl.

"…s-sorry…just…I've just wanted to say that to you for a while now. You really are amazing, coach. You're my…hero and stuff, you know? And…you're just awesome…an awesome athlete…and person…and…"

Minamo looked at her stupidly for a few more moments, finally relaxing as she felt the special connection that she had made with this particular student re-forge itself all over again, the love from her so tangible. "…hey, hey…I get it! Th-thanks…that, all of that…means a lot coming from you, Kagura. I'm not sure what to say…" She bowed her head to her respectfully. "Thank you. I'm really honored that…you can think about me that way…"

"I swear that every other kid thinks the same stuff about you, too! I really swear it!"

She chuckled nervously, feeling her face turn red. "You…well…I…"

Kagura began to laugh again as she watched her sensei stutter. "Sorry…I get kinda' emotional with stuff like this. But…yeah, thank you for everything, coach. There's no freakin' way that I could have ever asked for a better person to teach me stuff."

She grinned sheepishly. "…it…it was my pleasure. But…Yuka-…Tanizaki-sensei is your homeroom teacher. You should be thanking her, really…"

"Oh, I did…the whole class did!" A thoughtful look came onto the girl's face. "She…she's weird, but, yeah, we all appreciate her. She gave some nice advice to me just now too…but…you know, I just kinda'…gelled with you more, I guess. I mean you're 'coach' to me…you know…nothing against Yukari, just, uh…"

She gave her a sweet smile, the word 'coach' always sounding so endearing to her when this girl said it. "Don't worry…I get it. I'm very glad to have had you in my classes, Kagura. Oh!" Minamo folded her arms across her chest, gaining a bit of her usual seriousness back. "So, are we still on for summer?"

The teenager's face was suddenly filled with immense enthusiasm. "_Heck yeah_! Oh, man! I'm so pumped! Thanks…thanks again for arranging it!"

"No problem! It'll be a good opportunity for you to keep in shape before you head off to your university. And, of course, I think that you'll get a better feel for the nature of competitions as a whole as well. That's pretty invaluable experience to have for what you're planning to do."

Kagura laughed. "Yeah! Totally! I…ok, well, I hope you aren't upset at me for this, but, I was so pumped about this, so…some of my juniors kinda' already know about the whole assistant coach thing. So, uh…I might have blown it already…" She laughed again.

Minamo gave her a mock glare of disapproval. "Well…you probably shouldn't have done that. I don't want them thinking that this will become a customary practice or anything. You're just a special exception, and I wanted to explain that to them myself." She sighed. "But, anyway, we'll meet here next Wednesday and I'll start showing you the ropes when I conduct practice then. Sound good?"

Kagura saluted, a hand to her forehand. "Right, coach!"

"Good." She placed a hand on the girl's shoulder again, holding her steady. "I'm counting on you to be a good example to everyone, so no more blurting out things like that to the girls, ok? I know that they're your friends, but you're going to have to learn to treat them as your students when you're out there at the pool with them. It's a different sort of relationship when you become their coach, so remember that. Ok?"

The girl nodded gleefully. "Yep, yep! I'll remember, coach. Sorry!"

"It's alright. Anyways, w-" Her head turned around upon hearing some chatter from behind her, Minamo spotting some other high school students mingling outside the door. "Oh…hey, guys!"

Kagura chuckled, immediately understanding the situation. "Hey, coach, I should probably catch up with my friends now, so...you can talk with these guys."

Minamo looked back towards her, smiling as she did. "Yeah…I'll talk to you later and fill you in on the rest of what we're going to do, then."

"Sure!" In a flash, Kagura sped out of the room, zipping past all the other students. "See you later, coach! Thanks!"

She waved to the girl quickly as she darted out, and then began to address the crowd.

For the next twenty or so minutes, they all slowly trickled in and out of the classroom: students from her other P.E. classes, students that she'd helped from other homerooms, some of her squad and club members, a wide variety of boys and girls that she'd helped out on numerous occasions.

And all of them had come for the same reason, to just simply thank and say goodbye to their favorite faculty member, Minamo an exhausted woman by the end of it all.

She leaned against the desk after the last student had departed, truly drained now, her modesty having worked overtime in the face of all the raw affection.

…_I love you guys. Thank you…thank you all so mu-_

"M-may I come in, Kurosawa-sensei…?"

Minamo glanced up. One of her own homeroom students, a nervous young girl with wispy hair, was peeking around the door frame. "Oh, yes! Of course. Did you forget something here?"

The girl gave a slight shake of her head. "…I just wanted…to talk to you, Kurosawa-sensei. But…if you don't want to, that's fine, too."

"Don't be silly." She pushed herself off the desk, waving towards her student. "Come in, come in."

"…may I close the door, please?"

"...um, sure. Is there something wrong?"

Her student slid the door shut behind her as she stepped inside. "I just…wanted to talk to you alone, Kurosawa-sensei. After…everyone left. I was waiting…um…"

Minamo peered at her quizzically, unsure of the girl's cautious tone of voice. This particular student had been in her homeroom class since she was a first year; a bright young teenager with good grades and an equally good attitude. However, Minamo had always noted that she was a little too shy for her own good, now appearing even more anxious than she usually was.

…_guess she's a bit more emotional about leaving high school than I thought._

She put on her best smile for her, trying to make her feel at ease. "Sure. What would you like to speak with me about?"

The girl looked around the room again, as if she were making sure that no one else was hiding amongst the desks. She then looked back at her sensei, over to the chalk board, back to her again, and then fidgeted around a bit before she took in a few long, deep breaths.

Concern came onto Minamo's face. "…hey, are you alright? You look sort o-"

"I wanted to give you something, Kurosawa-sensei."

"…give me something?" Minamo crooked a brow, looking back at the table behind her quickly. "You already gave me some wonderful flowers. I really love them, by the way."

"…I had something else too, sensei."

She chuckled. "You don't have to give me anything else. You guys overdid it to begin with, yo-"

Her student quickly pushed forth her hands to show her an envelope that was clutched between her fingers, something of which Minamo hadn't noticed her holding along with her diploma. "Please accept this, sensei."

"Ah…?" With some hesitancy, she took the white envelope, staring down at it with curiosity. "Th-thanks. What's this…?"

The girl backed up a few steps, fumbling with her hands as she hesitated with a response. "My feelings."

Minamo looked back up, her student now staring straight at her face with the most determined of expressions.

"I've wanted to tell you this…for the longest time. I'm in love with you, sensei." She bowed. "Please go out with me."


	34. Part I Chapter 34

Part I

Chapter 34

"…p-pardon me…?"

Her student didn't respond, the girl remaining in a bow for a few moments until she slowly rose up, her stare locked to the ground in dismay.

What seemed like an hour passed by Minamo then, time moving as if something had just grabbed a hold of it, slowing its normal pace as it dragged it down to a crawl. "I…don't think…that I heard you correctly…"

The girl bit her lip. "I said…I'm asking you…to go out with me."

A murky sensation began to flood her heart, this black, dirty tar that was washing away all the highs of the delightful graduation moments that she had just experienced. "…you…you mean, go out as in…l-like a couple…?"

Her student responded with a shaky nod of the head.

"I…you…" Minamo paused, the envelope in her hands, the letter that she had just been presented with, suddenly feeling so strikingly cold. "You…but, why…?"

"…why?"

"Y-ye-"

"Because I love you, and I want to be with you."

Minamo found herself blown away by the sheer, brutal honesty that her student had just displayed. "…e-excuse me for asking this, but I'm…I'm just wondering, if, this is…are you being serious…?"

"Yes."

Again, the bluntness of the response smacked her in the face, dizzying her.

Her student rubbed her hands together anxiously, taking her time with her words. "…I'm a lesbian, sensei. I've always liked girls, but…I've never…you're the first person…that I've ever told…"

The ominous feeling inside of Minamo congealed into something more concrete then, her student's words thickening it as it clogged her senses. "Y-you…like girls…?"

"…yes, and…and I like…I Iove you the most. You're…the..." A deep breath was taken by the teenager. "...you're kindest, most beautiful, most amazing person that I've ever met…"

Minamo's thoughts felt so sluggish to her now, heavy, unwieldy. "I...I…you...think of me...like tha-"

"_Please go out with me."_

An obvious pain was in her pupil's voice, a desperation that was more than tangible to Minamo. "B-but…you…I mean, I'm…I…"

The student waited silently, her discomfort growing by the second as her posture shifted about with apprehension.

Minamo tried to speak, but her mind was at a complete standstill now. The situation that this young girl had put her in had completely caught her off guard, everything that had occurred earlier in the day now feeling like distant, bittersweet memories. It wasn't as if she had never been aware of the fact that she had admirers on campus, but to have one of them actually _confess _that love to her all of a sudden, on graduation day of all times, and for it to be a female…

_-…ove lett…-_

She suppressed it as best she could, smothering the past as it attempted to spew out from her heart.

"Please just answer me, sensei…"

Minamo bit down on her lip, everything around her beginning to feel so unreal now, as if she had just been planted into some awkward dream. "I'm sorry, dear, but…I just…I just can't...do something like that…"

"…because I'm a girl?"

"_No!"_

They both blinked in surprise at the sudden outburst.

Minamo gathered herself together, completely taken aback by her own response as her focus continued to crumble. "…no…no…that's not it, I mean! Please don't think that. I…it's…it's just…well, dear…you might feel a certain way about me, r-right? But, I don't…you're such a nice girl, I know that, but...I just don't feel the same way about you…and…there are other factors too, obviously, but…it's not because you're a girl! I don't mind…I mean, that's fine, if you like women, j-just…you know…"

Her pupil's own voice was beginning to weaken now. "…so…you won't go out with me then, Kurosawa-sensei?"

She looked away for a second, unable to meet the student's eyes, but gradually returned her attention to her. "…I'm sorry, but…I can't just say 'yes' to that, dear. I'm…I'm sorry…"

The world seemed to come to an abrupt halt then, Minamo just staring with embarrassment at the young girl as they gazed at one another in silence. But soon, her student's face caved into a massive frown, her jaw shivering as she shifted her head down, attempting to hide her disappointment.

"Hey..." With some effort, Minamo was able to momentarily pull herself together as she went to the teenager, her natural sense of empathy taking the wheel as she gently placed her hands on the girl's shoulders. "H-hey…hey! Wait…don't…just…hold on! I'm sorry…don't be sad…I'm sorry, I'm sorry, dear…"

Her student didn't respond, simply burying herself into the older woman as she hugged her fiercely.

Minamo didn't refrain from the embrace, allowing her pupil to have her moment as she continued to deal with the reality of the drama that had seemingly come out from nowhere today. She had known this particular girl for years, a nervous youngster who never drew much attention to herself, but now, she almost felt like a stranger to her, Minamo feeling as if she were meeting her for the very first time in her life.

_...is this why...she's always been shy in class? Because of me...?_

The better part of a minute went by before the girl just slightly pulled herself out of the hug, stepping back as she continued to look down at the ground, her arms still wrapped around her sensei.

Minamo watched her carefully. "…I'm sorry, again. I…didn't mean to make you feel ba-"

"It's alright. I knew it would hurt."

She couldn't hide the bewilderment from her expression as her student finally looked up to her.

…_whoa?_

It was all gone now. The distraught, tortured look that had covered the girl's face upon hearing the answer to her request had vanished, the usual nervousness about her quelled as well. On her lips was now a wavering smile, and her freshly beaming eyes hadn't shed a single tear.

Minamo managed to somehow find her voice. "Y-ou…you knew what would hurt…?"

The girl exhaled longingly, pain noticeably leaving her demeanor. "...when you would say 'no'."

"…what…?"

Her student looked off to a side. "I…just…please, read my letter. That's all I actually wanted. Just…read it…please…"

"_..._I will…"

"…sensei…are you going…to the party later tonight?"

She looked at her peculiarly, the girl's sudden shift in topic and behavior throwing her off. "…ah…I was planning to stop by for a few minutes, yes."

Her pupil gripped her suit jacket tightly for a moment as she continued to cling on to it. "I-…I'm going to be there too, but, if I make things…awkward for you, then I won't go…so…"

"…no, no, it's ok. I don't…don't worry about things like that. I'm always going to be fine with you, dear."

The weak smile on the girl's face became more confident then, her posture as a whole noticeably calmer. "Ok… because…I want to visit you in the future still…and…and…" She took a breath. "…I want to talk to you more, about a lot of things. But right now…I…I'll wait…because right now, I…" The words trailed off for a moment. "…just please read my letter. I didn't want to...drag this out..." She separated herself from the lingering embrace, bowing several times. "Th-thank you for everything. I…I hope I can see you later…and talk more…"

"Ah…ah! Y-yes…don't worry. Anytime…you come by, we can talk, so, don't worry…"

The girl's smile widened even more as she bowed one final time. She then slowly headed towards the classroom door before sliding it open, walking with an air about her that just seem so much lighter than when she had first entered, that Minamo had ever seen her posses.

Her student paused in her steps, appearing to consider something, but decided against it as she headed out into the hallway...

...and then, Minamo was alone.

For a few moments, all she could do was just simply stare at the empty doorway, her senses nearly paralyzed as her mind attempted to digest the situation that had just occurred, trying to somehow process it. It wasn't as if she didn't understand what had just happened, as if she couldn't comprehend the event: a female student of hers had, by the account of her own words, been in love with her all these years. That in itself was simple enough to understand.

What was also equally clear to her, in the scope of Minamo's own reaction to it all, were the feelings that now swirled through her being. She of course knew the intricacies of these emotions well, the nature of them, of why they had decided to make their return. Her student's affections had reminded her of her own censored passions, that affinity for women that she had always kept leashed in the depths of herself. But yet, out of all those familiar sensations, there was still one that had come to greatly perplex her, an emotion that wasn't a part of the usual lot. She couldn't quite place it, this dark, heavy cloud that was slowly coalescing inside of her heart, triggered by something in particular that the girl had just said to her, outside of the confession itself.

'…_I knew it would hurt…'_

The ice flaked off, Minamo's hands quickly tearing open the envelope, pulling out the letter as she began to unfold it.

…_why? Why in the world? If you knew…if you knew that something like this would hurt you, then why would you...?_

Strewn neatly across the paper was the girl's handwriting, Minamo taking all of it in voraciously.

…_then why would you still do it?_

* * *

_Dear Kurosawa-sensei,_

_ I spent a lot of time thinking about what I wanted to write. I finally decided to write this. I have been in love with you since I was a first year. I wanted to tell you all this time, but I was scared. I couldn't talk to anyone else about it. I don't want my friends to think differently of me. I was scared what they would think. But it always hurt to not be able to tell someone._

_ I have been thinking about doing this for a very long time. Since I am graduating I felt that this was now the time to do it. I think you are amazing and beautiful. I love your voice and everything about you. I always thought about you in class and could never get you off my mind. I have always known that I liked other girls, but I have never fallen in love with one. I'm sure I'm in love with you, because I always dream about being with you. But I understand it is just a dream too. I know I can never be with you. I know I am young but even I can understand that. It hurt so much when I gave into the truth._

_ But there is something that I know I have to do still, if I want to be free of this pain. It hurts to know that I can't be with you. I know you don't think of me like I think of you, and it hurts a lot, but I think it would hurt even more if I never tried to be with you anyway. That is why I'm going to ask you out. In my dreams you will tell me you want to go out with me too, but I know the truth. But I still have to ask. I don't want any regrets in my life. I feel that if I can go through with this, then I can cure the pain. I want to move on and not suffer in my future. Maybe I will love another girl later who will love me too, but I will know that I still tried with you at least. I just want to be happy, and I think this is the best way. _

_ I just want my chest to stop hurting. I am always thinking about you. I was thinking of kissing you when I ask you out. But I think that would make the pain stay or get worse. I'm sorry I never told you before. You must think I'm weird to feel like this about you and never tell you. I'm sorry. I hope you don't hate me because of it. But I want to let you know how I feel._

_ Thank you for everything. I want to see you and visit you in the future. If you are still ok with me after reading this, I really want to talk to you more. I have a lot to talk to you about that I was always so scared to do so before. Please let me. I'll never forget you. I'm sorry again. I know this must be strange to you._

_With all of my love…_


	35. Part I Chapter 35

Part I

Chapter 35

The student's name was signed at the bottom.

Minamo's hands now fiercely gripped the confession letter, the crinkling sound of paper filling the classroom as she felt herself succumbing to a sad, heavy emotion.

_Why does it feel like…_

Her entire body tensed up, her teeth grinding together as it ate away at her.

…_I've just been…insulted…?_

With a rigid demeanor, she began to pace back and forth in front of her desk, fuming over the item in her hands as the happier moments of graduation day faded from her mind. The only thing that now mattered to Minamo was the letter, the girl's confession feeling as if it were the sole event that had actually transpired today.

…_.just because she could do it? Is that it…?_

Her eyes went over every single word again, one part in particular now tightly clutching her attention between its jaws, endlessly gnawing upon it.

'… _I don't want any…'_

_How could you possibly go through with this? How? What…does it take…?_

'…_regrets in my life…'_

As Minamo carried on with her incessant rereading, those old castigated memories of hers began to form together, spilling forth through the cracks in the locks that had always been placed around them. And as she stood there, she could begin to see and hear it all: her homeroom from her own school days, the gathered classmates around the desk, their boisterous laughter…

'…_I feel that if I can go through with this, then I can cure the pain…'_

The chains on her past continued to break as Minamo now recalled a bright afternoon sky, the school trailing off in the distance behind her as she ran from it with great urgency. She was racing somewhere, trying to meet the student who had come into possession of her valuable item, that precious part of herself that Minamo had so desperately needed back.

And then she could see it. The sight of that hair, that crazy, wild hair, just flowing about in a light wind, the girl just standing there in the middle of a narrow street, just waiting for her.

Waiting, for her, as she held it in a hand.

'…_I just want my chest to stop hurting…'_

A heavy grimace spread across Minamo's face, the piece of paper in her hands now taking its full toll upon her, her student once again at the center of her thoughts.

_So…are you going to be fine, then? Are you…going to avoid…everything that I had to go through? Everything that I went through, because I couldn't…just…tell he-_

"_Oh, hell, there you are!_ Hey, I was waitin' for your ass in the office all this time, dammit'!"

Her pacing came to an abrupt halt.

Yukari's head was poking through the open classroom door, the woman soon walking inside with a gigantic bouquet of flowers slung over a shoulder. "We were gonna' meet at four and head home, right? Oh, by the way, I signed you up for the teacher's buffet tomorrow, since I didn't see your name on the list yet. _Guess what!_ This year they're takin' us to a pretty fancy place , way downto-" Her jaw suddenly dropped down in sheer amazement, her eyes bulging as she finally took notice of the instructor's desk. "_What is all that bullshit_?" She ran up to the table, looking over the entire length of it as she stared stupidly at every single gift, card, and flower arrangement that had been given to her fellow teacher.

Minamo carefully folded the confession letter, sticking it into a coat pocket, keeping her back to her friend.

"_Wh-…no….fuc-…gshh!" _ Yukari sputtered angrily, her face growing visibly red as she tried to cope with just how much sheer love her coworker had received from not only her own class, but what also seemed like almost every other student on campus, given the amount of homage paid to her. Her eyes kept on flying back and forth between her own bouquet and the table top, colorful words muttered under her breath with every comparison of the two. Eventually, though, her entire posture relaxed dramatically, a heavy sigh escaping from her as she calmed herself down. "Ah…whatever. You found my wallet today, so, I forgive you. I'm in a good mood, anyway." She looked over to her friend. "So, what ya' doin' up here still?"

"Ah..." Minamo turned around just slightly, something forbidding her from fully facing the woman. "I just finished…talking to some students..."

"Oh…ok. Well, yeah, anyway, like I was sayin': _free grub tomorrow!"_ Yukari placed her bouquet down on one of the student desks, chuckling as she put her hands on her hips. "It's at a really nice buffet place, and they reserved, like, a whole section for us! Most of the staff is goin', _and we can drink this time too! The stupid school is payin' for us to get fat and loaded, Nyamo! College is finally lookin' like it was worth it!" _ She triumphantly threw her arms up in the air, laughing victoriously, before she looked back down to the front desk, a hint of jealousy still on her face. "Yeah, so, uh…guess you want some help movin' all this junk to your car, right?" The woman's hands went rummaging through the assortment of gifts, shaking them as they rattled softly. "Which ones got chocolate in 'em? Gimme' some for helping."

"You can take whatever you'd like."

Her friend glanced at her with some surprise at the meek response. "Huh? What's wrong? You sound kinda' bummed." She laughed again, placing the boxes that she had picked up back onto the desk, and then walked over to her. "Ah, I know what it is! You miss those brats already, huh?" She began to pat her shoulder heartily. "Well, you shoulda' seen this day coming, Nyamo. Nothing lasts forever and all that jazz, you know?"

"…yeah."

"Chin up!" Another merry slap, this time to her back. "They'll probably come by and visit ya' sometime later. Maybe, anyway. I dunno'. Kids can be kinda' stupid."

She nodded weakly.

Yukari sighed. "…aw, come on. Don't get mopey on me. You're always too damn emotional about stuff like this. You're supposed to be, ya' know, all happy and whatever for them graduating this place, right? _Right!_ So...yeah, hey, let's go home already. Maybe we'll get somethin' to drink? That'll cheer you up!"

Minamo opened her mouth for a moment, quickly closing it.

Yukari bent her head around, trying to look at her friend's face. "You're really down about seein' 'em go, huh?"

She looked away.

"…eh?"

Minamo bit her lip as she began to fidget.

"Nyamo? Hey…you alright?" Yukari went around her friend, standing in front of her now. "You're actin' super we-…whoa."

Her body twisted away, her face having just been barely revealed to the woman.

A worried tone started to permeate Yukari's voice as she stared at her fellow teacher. "Are you sick or somethin'? You look kinda' pale…'

She didn't reply, facing the chalkboard now.

"…man, are you really that upset? Come on…I mean, it's not the first time you've said goodbye and stuff to students, right? Yeah, ok, these ones are off to college or whatever, but, still…"

"…I'm fine. Please don't worry about me. Sorry."

Yukari stared at her awkwardly. "Uh…"

"...you said that you'd help me move these gifts, right?"

"…yeah…?"

She let out a few, short breaths during the pause in conversation. "…would you mind…getting some bags from the office? We could…put them in there…to make the move easy."

"Oh, yeah, I can do that." Yukari put a hand on her hair, rubbing it in confusion. "But…you sure you're ok?"

"I am. It's just been a long day. Just give me a little time, please. Sorry…"

Her friend hesitated for a few moments, just watching her quietly, but eventually spun around as she slowly made her way out of the classroom. "Yeah, ok. I'll be right back. Don't swap out any of my flowers with yours!_ Mine are tons better!_"

Minamo nodded again, standing still as she listened to her friend's footsteps softly fade away, silence eventually filling both the classroom and outside hallway.

…_I was…_

She exhaled deeply in relief while placing a hand onto her chest, trying to reach the agony that had made its return once more, to somehow hold her heart together before it fully crumbled apart.

…_I was fine all day with her. _

The very second that Yukari had entered the room, Minamo had felt the rending in her chest, the tearing of the stitches that kept her heart's wounds together, an array of desperate patchwork fixes that had never really worked, had never truly healed the oozing ruptures.

_I was fine…for months? A year? How long did I go for this time? And now, I can't even look at her...can't even talk to her properly. It just never seems to stay away, no matter how hard I try to forget. It just keeps coming back…just keeps coming back, because something always happens…_

It flashed through her mind then, the face of her young admirer.

_...always...happens._

Minamo's hands began to shake as she stared down at the ground in dismay, the tenebrous feeling from earlier now coming into full fruition. Her student's written words continued to make their rounds inside of her head, gaining in volume with each new pass as they gave power to that dark, bitter emotion.

_That girl…she's at the same age that I was, but she was still able…to do that…? I don't understand. How did…she get the courage? There's no way…there's just no possible way, but she still did it…and..._

It wrapped around her senses as it further debilitated her, a feeling that was usually so foreign to someone of Minamo's character, but that, at the moment, was overtaking her quite easily.

_...how? How do these women do it? They can just say what they feel...towards whomever they love? And they...she was scared, but, she didn't care. She didn't care! How? I don't understand! I don't understand...how someone can just...how a woman can just say that they love another woman, and not be scared, of what would be thought of her. It's...just not possible...to go through with it then! It can't be! But...other women have done it...and she did it, too! She did it! So now, is she...is...she..._

She saw the girl's relieved expression now, the solace that she had radiated after her confession, the image of it still so utterly bright, blinding, dazzling...

_*thwack*_

_...is she going to be free?_

Minamo had hardly noticed it, the fist that she had just slammed down upon one of her student's desk, the slight ache that it sent through her knuckles. She wasn't really aware of any of it all, the lurid, dirty taint of jealousy now fully polluting her comprehension.

_Is she going to be happy now? She's not going to feel this...this damn pain? None of it at all? Because she's braver than I am? Because...just because she could deal with her fear..._

A heavy, labored sigh jettisoned itself from her.

_...and wasn't afraid...to say that she's in love with me, a woman, because..._

Her stare went to the doorway, her face weary and tired, full of longing.

_...she trusted me._

The past began to swirl about Minamo again, the memories unable to be held back after everything that she had just experienced, everything that she had just felt. She was wallowing in it all now, the images surrounding her without let, no amount of will or crushing guilt able to place them back into their cages.

_If I had just trusted you, Yukari...like you trusted me, then would I have been stuck with this horrible pain for all these years...? Could I have told you, about how I really am? Could I have told you, at some point...that I had been truly in love with someone for all these years? That...that I still love you, more than anyone else, in the entire world..._

In the midst of Minamo's mind, she could see that wild hair flow gently in the breeze once more, as it all came back to her...


	36. Part I Chapter 36

**Author's Notes**

Hello!

Chapter pic in my profile. I set up a new image gallery for all of them, so if you're having problems viewing it, then please let me know! There is a new URL for the site (I tried to put it here as well, but FF keeps blocking URLs in documents...)

~Mendhi

* * *

Part I

Chapter 36

_The crowd of homeroom students remained swarmed around the desk like vultures, Yukari standing upon it with the letter before her face, laughing ecstatically. __"Oh, man!"_

_A wave of mumbling and speculation flowed through the room._

_"Just read the damn thing already, Tanizaki." The girl who originally had the letter in her hands barked at her classmate. "Don't take forever."_

_Yukari glared down. "Shut the hell up, pipsqueak, and let me read this thing already."_

_The diminutive student scowled menacingly._

_All of the attention was focused on Yukari then, everyone in the room so eagerly awaiting to hear the paper's contents. Everyone, of course, except for its author, who stood by silently in the doorway._

_Minamo Kurosawa let out a breath of despair. She knew it was over, that no other student in her class would try and save her. No one, not even the third years on campus, ever messed around with Yukari Tanizaki, the girl whose tantrums alone could whittle down even the toughest of faculty members._

_And Minamo also knew that, very soon, her letter would be spread like wildfire throughout the school. Her peers would know what she had wrote upon it, then her teachers, then all of the staff, and then her coaches, her teammates, and then..._

_Yukari cleared her throat dramatically. "'To my Senpai...'"_

_Her hands went over her face, Minamo unable to bear it anymore._

_"'Thank you for always taking the time to help everyone out. Everyone on the team really loves you. You're an amazing swimmer and we all hope that we can be as good as you someday. I just wanted to let you know what we all think of you. Please continue to be amazing for us! I wanted to tell you this in person, but I'm not very good at saying these sort of things in person. So, thank you again for everything.'__"_

_Yukari chuckled, waving the letter around in the air now. "There you go!" She looked back down to her short classmate. "Yeah, this thing's a real riot, you stupid rat."_

_The gathered clump of students broke into murmur once again, everyone looking at each other with questioning glances, passing the name of 'Tanizaki' around like currency. They soon all glanced at the trio of girls who had originally burst into the classroom with the letter in hand, the ones who had so assuredly known what was written on it, who had essentially promised good, delicious gossip to chew upon._

_A second of silence passed, and then, it was destroyed by an eruption of laughter that filled the classroom, all of it directed towards the three culprits in question._

_"Totally lame!"_

_"What a waste of time..."_

_"Come on, let's sit down already..."_

_As the commotion and interest in the event slowly faded away, the lot of students now dispersing back to their desks, Minamo continued to stand in the doorway, staring on at the entire scene with nothing short of absolute disbelief.  
_

* * *

_Minamo brought her sprinting to a stop upon the sidewalk, checking the street signs to see if she was on the right path. She had been practically bolting her way down here for the last few minutes, hardly tired from the effort since she was quite used to such tests of endurance._

_Her head swiveled from side-to-side as she tried to get her bearings straight. She had never traveled to this part of the local school neighborhood before, but her sense of navigation had always been quite good, so she quickly figured out where she was, despite the poor directions she had received._

_She clutched her school bag tightly as she resumed her run. Her regular class uniform was packed inside of it, and in its place she wore a pair of tight running pants and sports shirt. Swim practice had just ended, so Minamo had changed into gear that would best allow her to sprint without any drag, so as to reach the meeting spot as fast as possible. If it had been her choice though, she would have skipped the practice all together, but she felt it was best to keep her normal routine going so as to not draw any suspicion, after what had happened earlier today._

_Another minute went by, Minamo rounding one last row of houses, and then she saw it, the small alley behind a white, two-story residence, just as described. __She raced into the small space, and then brought herself to an abrupt halt as she finally spotted her._

_"Oh, hey, there you are! Man, I was about to go back inside..."_

_Yukari Tanizaki sneered at her as she stood barefoot in the alley, donning pajamas and a dingy white t-shirt, giving the impression that she had gone back to bed as soon as she had arrived home from school this afternoon._

_Overhead, the shadows cast by the surrounding houses laid softly behind the both of them, light sounds of the neighborhood echoing here and there._

_Minamo took in a deep breath, attempting to settle her nerves as she fought back her anxiety. She had heard the stories about this girl before, of how Yukari had already cemented her reputation as a bully and delinquent from well back in her junior high days. And while Minamo herself had never really gotten to know her personally, she had witnessed Yukari's random outbursts in class, pick on people just for the fun of it, so there wasn't much reason to doubt the full extent of her infamy._

_But yet, after what her classmate had done at school today, Minamo still had no real idea of what to expect from this unpredictable individual. __"…wh-where is it?"_

_"Yeah, yeah, lookies' here." Yukari reached into a pocket of her pajamas, taking out a folded letter. "I still got it, don't worry, so le-"_

_"Give it back!"_

_The teenager put up an arm, holding off Minamo as she dashed at her, lunging for the letter. "Whoa! Hold on there, kid…!"_

_Minamo yelled again, unable to keep the panic back any longer, all the fear that had accumulated while having been apart from her precious item for so long, knowing that it was in the hands of this wild girl who had read it. "Just give it to me...!"_

_"Look...shutup for a se-"_

_"Please, just give it back already...!"_

_"...dammit', liste-"_

_Minamo made another desperate attempt for the letter, but she was thrown roughly down to the ground for the effort, groaning as she landed upon the hard street._

_Yukari adjusted her ruffled shirt, looking down at her in anger. "Look, shut your damn mouth and let me talk, Kurosawa."_

_She didn't respond, sniffling as she did her best to cope with the situation at hand, stuck out here in a part of town that she had never been in, with an obstinate, rowdy teenager standing over her menacingly, the very person who had her letter._

_Her classmate glared down at her, but soon, the expression softened as her belligerent posture relaxed. She sighed heavily, closing her eyes as she took a moment to calm herself. "...sorry, sorry, sorry. My bad." She bent down, offering her extended hand. "Sorry about that. Come on, get up."_

_Minamo hesitated in taking the assistance, backing up just slightly._

_A flash of annoyance passed through Yukari's face, but she once again closed her eyes, forcing her irritations to flow out from her as she put on a smile. "...look: I didn't ask you to come out here so I could just beat you up or somethin'. I'm sorry I shoved ya', I just...I was just gettin' pissed off. I'm sorry, ok? Truce?"_

_She was still reluctant, but eventually grasped the hand that was offered to her, something about the girl's tone of voice making her apology sound genuine._

_They stared at each other then as they stood in the suburban alley, a small wind blowing Yukari's brown hair playfully about, that silly red ribbon of hers tying it up._

_Minamo swallowed fearfully, looking down at the ground with worry. "...why did you want me to meet you out here?"_

_"Oh…'cause I wanted to give your letter back to you. Duh."_

_"You could have given that to me at school!"_

_Yukari gave her a crinkled smirk. "Yeah, maybe, but I didn't want anyone to see me givin' this back to you. Too many damn nosy idiots would make somethin' of it, and...well, I kind of wanted to have a chat with you about some things, too."_

_"A…chat?"_

_"Yeah, a chat."_

_"…but…about what…?"_

_ "About stuff. I'll give this back after that, ok?"_

_"…please, it's mine, so just…"_

_"Just hold on and listen to me." Yukari waved the letter back and forth. "You know there's some shit flyin' around about you, right? So why would you go and write somethin' stupid like this then?"_

_"…wh-what do you mean?"_

_"I'm just sayin' that it was a dumb move to go and put this thing in that kid's locker. I mean, with all the rumors, you'd think that doin' somethin' like this is the last thing that you'd wanna' do."_

_Minamo gripped her bag nervously, her voice weakening to a whisper as she felt the dread return to her stomach. "…I…I didn't want her...to read it…"_

_"What?"_

_"…I was going back...to her locker, after I put it in. To get it back, because…I decided that I didn't want her to read it...after...I thought about it. But then…they stole it…"_

_"Oh." Yukari crooked her head. "That shrimp and her friends beat ya' to it, huh? See, that's what I'm sayin'. You should be careful with stuff like this. Assholes like that are always waitin' for some popular kid like you to slip up. You get what I mean?"_

_A heavy grimace set across her face._

_Yukari watched her, observing her classmate, and then took a step towards her, her arm extended out. "Here."_

_Minamo looked at the girl's hand, her precious letter gripped in it. Her eyes went up to Yukari, then back to her possession, and then she quickly grabbed it, hugging it to her chest as sheer relief washed over her. It was finally back with her, after an entire day of being apart from it, of wondering what would happen to it, of what this girl would possibly do with it..._

_"Just try and be more careful in the future, ok? You prob-"_

_"...why did you do that for me...?"_

_"Huh?"_

_Minamo met her eyes dead on. "Why...did you lie to everyone about what I wrote?"_

_Yukari stared at her blankly, one of her hands soon pulling on a part of her ribbon as she twirled it around a finger. "I dunno'. Maybe I just felt like it? I'm an enigma."_

_She frowned, not at all enjoying that answer, and then looked down to her letter. "I just…" She sighed, lifting her eyes back up. "I just don't understand what's going on here. I barely even know you, but, you seem like you're so concerned about me. I'm just...you never seemed like the sort of person to really care about others, so...I'm just wondering what's actually going on..."_

_Yukari didn't reply, but yet, Minamo almost felt that she had, a sudden change in girl's demeanor having just given the impression of one. __It had barely been discernible, but she had just seen her classmate's expression twist subtly with pain, as if she had been pricked with a needle, and Minamo blinked in surprise at how different she appeared to her now. The usually turbulent air that she had about her had been dampened somewhat, and the fear that she had of this girl began to ebb away as well, Yukari now feeling more human than her reputation previously allowed her to be. _

_It was difficult for her to fully fathom, but Minamo was beginning to feel somewhat comfortable around the person that her peers regarded as a bully, her earlier anxieties slipping away__. "…I didn't mean to say that. I'm sorry."_

_Yukari looked at her in surprise, then turned away, a little abashed. "Y-yeah...well, you're right, I don't care about anyone. I'm just...um, you know, just helpin' out a little...that don't mean nothin'..."_

_Minamo found herself a bit taken aback as well then. Yukari's__ bumbling mannerisms suddenly gave this subtle adorableness to her, a pleasant charm that contrasted against the girl's physically sharp looks, an attractive face and physique that she had never really taken notice of before._

_She recovered from the momentary infatuation. "Ah...ok. Well...in any case. Ah..." She bowed gracefully. "...thank you so much for doing this for me, then, Yukari." She stood up. "I'm sorry...that I was being so rude earlier. I just...when I saw that you had my letter, I just panicked. I just wanted it back...I didn't even remember to thank you first. I'm sorry about that. I...I really owe you one, for everything you did..."_

_Yukari's eyes widened for a moment as she began to fidget around nervously. "Uh…oh…y-eah…no problem…" She looked away, down the length of the alley. "Just forget about it. I didn't do it for any favors, so...yeah, just get outta' here already..."_

___They had come out clumsily, but Minamo still so palpably felt the sincere honesty in her classmate's words. "...you're a nice person actually, Yukari."_

___Yukari squirmed about. "N-no I'm not...! Shut the hell up...stupid..."_

_The girl continued to evolve before her eyes, Minamo adoring the comical tough-act that Yukari was now trying to put on, and it just made her seem like such a funny and unique individual. "Ah...ok, well...like I said, if there's anything that you ever need, please let me know. I...don't think you realize how much I appreciate what you did for me. You're...you were really brave to do something like that..."_

___The teenager almost stumbled over, trying her best to resume a serious face and posture as best she could. _"R-really...?"

_"Yeah! You totally rescued me..."_

_"...l-like a valkryie?"_

_"...a what?"_

_"O-oh! Nothin'! Nothin'!" Yukari waved away her comment with both hands as a gigantic smile spread across her face, this bright, mirthful aura now radiating forcefully from her. "I...like I said, it's no problem! Just...just doin' my duty...and stuff...you know, stuff like that is easy to do for someone like me...bein' brave and stuff, I mean..."  
_

_Her tone of voice sounded so unintentionally hilarious, Yukari looking so out of sorts as she faked bravado, and Minamo couldn't help but begin to chuckle at the amusing behavior of her classmate._

_Yukari looked at her in confusion. "W-what's so funny...?"_

_It flowed through her so easily now, her sense of humor finally returning to her after all she had gone through today, a few more light laughs coming out. "You..."_

_"H-huh...?"_

_"...sorry. I'm just...I'm just feeling so happy right now. You don't know how relieved you've made me, Yukari. Thanks so much again. __I'm in your debt._" She stared at the girl with pure gratification, Minamo beaming out a genuine smile for her as she finally felt the weights of the day sloughing off.

_Yukari stared back at her, the surrounding ambient sounds filling the air for a few brief moments, and then her expression suddenly relaxed. "...I said don't worry about it. You just paid me back, anyway."_

_"I did...?"_

_ "Yup. You just smiled for me, and I got to see it."_

_Minamo had trouble responding, completely caught off guard. "Wh-what...?"_

_"Just, ya' know, good to see you happy again and shit..." The girl kicked at something on the alley floor. "...ya' know, good people like you, should, I dunno'...stay smilin' all the time, or somethin'..."_

_She gawked at her stupidly._

_Yukari put on an ungraceful smirk. "Y-yeah, sorry. Guess that was...kinda' corny. B-but...yeah..."_

_Minamo had barely heard her, her focus completely stuck on the sudden compliment of her smile, of what her skin started to feel upon comprehending the words. The strangest of prickling sensations was now crawling across it, an electricity that jolted her hairs on end, all because this girl had simply observed and appreciated some particular feature of her, the very same girl who had saved her today._

_And then, Minamo remembered. _

_She remembered, that this is what she had felt, when her senpai had first spoken kindly to her..._

_Her stare began to waver, something forcing her eyes away from her classmate as she became overly self-conscious. "N-no...that...that's...a really...nice thing for you...to say..." She bit her lip, suddenly feeling so at a loss for what to say or do. "But...but...I mean...I still...I still mean it, that, if you ever need a real favor, or something...that's what I meant..."_

_Yukari shrugged, thinking to herself a. "Well, I guess that's cool. But...oh, I know what you could do for me..."_

_"What's that...?"_

_"...you gotta' make me a promise, ok?"_

_"A promise?"_

_"Yup! If you don't, then I'll take it back." She nodded towards the letter, a joking tone in her voice. "But if you keep your end, then we'll be even, alrighty?"_

_Minamo got over her shyness for a moment, looking up at the girl curiously, noticing how dashing she was trying to appear now. "...umm...ok, but, what do you want me to promise?"_

_"Just...don't let those other kids get to you anymore. You know...chin up and all that. You're always lettin' them get to you and whatever whenever they pick on you. That's why they get the guts to go and follow you around and steal your stuff."_

_She gave a half-smile at the advice, the so-called bully lecturing her on being being bullied. "I...I know that. But...that's...easier said than done." She sighed. "I just...I just don't know what to do whenever they start everything up again..."_

_"Go tell a teacher or somethin', then."_

_"...I don't...want them involved..."_

_Yukari gave her a glare, studying the girl across from her. "Why not?"_

_Minamo bit her lip. "...that's...that's my business. And besides, I think everyone will leave me alone now, after what you told them, right? I mean...I don't think they'd have any reason to doubt you of all people, if...if you get what I mean..."_

_"...yeah, no worries, I get what you're sayin'. But, I dunno', maybe they all bought it. Hey, I did a good job of makin' that shit up, right?" She grinned victoriously, thumping her chest with a prideful fist. "I'm pretty good at makin' up dialogue and stuff. I mean, I do stuff like that all the time. I write a lot! I'm gonna' write tons of novels someday, matter o' fact."_

_"...oh, oh, wow! Y-yeah, that's great! And...yeah...it did sound really convincing. That's...why I'm sure that all of that will stop now..."_

_ "...so what if it don't?"_

_Minamo winced. "...things will be fine. Don't worry. Everything...will work out now. I'm...I'm sure of it..."_

___Her classmate stood silently, puckering her lips, her brow furrowing heavily with thought. "Yep, I think you're right about that, Kurosawa."_

_"R-really?"_

_"Yup!" Yukari pointed a thumb at herself, smiling gloriously. "'cause Yukari has joined the party!" She whistled a musical chime._

_"...party?"_

_"That's right!" Her hands went to her hips as she exhibited a triumphant pose. "If anyone gives you shit again, then you just let me know! Trust me, I'll keep anyone off your back if they try and start givin' you crap about anythin' again from now on. Ok, Kurosawa?"_

_She just stared blankly at her. "What...what are you talking about...?"_

_The girl chuckled. "I'm just sayin'...if you ever have problems again like today, then just let me know! Can't let those morons go sayin' whatever they want about people now, can we?"_

_Minamo wasn't sure how to respond, the girl sounding so obviously hypocritical, given her own treatment of others. But still, she became hooked on the offer, completely stuck on the last word that Yukari had just spat out so confidently, each repetition of it in her ears sending more of those wonderful sparks up and down her nerves._

_'...we...'_

_"...but...why?"_

_Yukari raised an eyebrow. "Why what?"_

_"...I still don't get why you're so interested in helping me. We...we barely even know each other...and..."_

_"Yeah, so?"_

_"...s-so? That's...it's just...like I said, we sort of just met, I guess..."_

___"So? I don't see why that matters. I mean, either way, someone's gotta' take care of you, so I will!"_

_The entire world came to a screeching halt around Minamo, her eyes locked dead on to Yukari._

_____On the girl's face now, spanning widely across it, was the most absurd, mischievous looking of grins. It was of the type that perfectly suited someone of Yukari's rascally nature, but yet to Minamo, there was so much more to it than that. In her eyes, there was this slick gallantry glazed over it____, the sort of cocky, confident expression that somehow just inspired assurance in another, that somehow melted away all of one's worries._

_____She found herself unable to look away from it, completely enthralled with both it and the particular string of words that she had just heard._

___'...take care of you...'_

___'...take care of you...'_

___'...take care of you...'_

___They echoed on endlessly inside of Minamo's head, all of her other thoughts, fears, and concerns becoming drowned out by the voice of the strange girl before her. For some reason the notion, just the mere possibility, of being watched over by her classmate had stirred something to life inside of her. To have such an attractive, funny, brave young woman, right there by her side..._

___*thump*_

___The tingling sensation from before abruptly blazed into something much more immense, all but for the briefest of moments._

___"____...h-hey...? What's wrong? You look weird..."_

___Minamo didn't hear her at all, totally consumed with the blissful feeling that she had just felt explode through her, the remnants of a wonderful, ethereal warmth still lingering inside of her heart. She couldn't even begin to comprehend what it was that she had just experienced, but she had become instantly intoxicated with it, enamored with it, and now was finding herself so thoroughly cemented to Yukari, unable to get her out of her mind._

___She felt her face become flush then, and she instinctively hid it, gluing her stare to the ground. ____Her mouth had become dry as well, and she was unable to speak, totally lost in what had just happened to her. All that Minamo could understand was that she had just somehow come to adore Yukari Tanizaki, an individual that she had practically met for the first time today, and that whatever it was that she was now feeling towards her was far, far different from anything that she had ever felt for her senpai._

___Her classmate stepped slowly towards her, knocking a knuckle on top of Minamo's head. "...hello? I say somethin' wrong?" She chuckled. "Yeah...guess I'm really hammin' it up today. I'll, uh, lay off that stuff...sorry..."_

___Somehow, the ability to speak returned to her. "N-no...I'm...just...I just...I just..." _

___"...you ok? You sound kind of outta' of it..."_

___Minamo began to play with her hands unconsciously, her letter crumpling between her fingers. "Y-y-you...want to...help...help me...?"_

___"...o-oh! Ah...I mean, yeah, not tryna' force anythin' on ya', just sayin' that I-"_

___"...th-then...take care of me, please..."_

___Yukari looked completely bewildered then, slowly regaining her focus as she spoke ____awkwardly_. "...ah...yeah...I said...I would..."

___Minamo's eyes were opened widely in surprise as she continued to look down at the alley floor, greatly astonished at her choice of words. Something else inside of her had just spoken for her, had said something so completely embarrassing and out of character, totally against her own will. And now, all she could do was stand there looking ashamed, feeling as if she had just spoken like a silly little child.  
_

___"Hey...Kurosawa..."_

___"...um...umm..."_

___"...you...want a drink or anythin'? My house is right here...I mean, if you wanna' come in, 'cause, we've just been standin' out here for awhile...and...uh...you look kinda' tired..."_

___A small gasp escaped from her, Minamo finding herself so incredibly delighted at the sudden invitation. "Um...o-ok...thanks..."_

___She placed the letter into her bag, and within a moment, the pair were walking down the alley together, neither speaking as they made their way. Minamo, however, wasn't at all concerned with the lack of conversation, simply enjoying the feeling of being next to this girl. There was just this thrill of excitement from having been treated so kindly by an individual that everyone else feared, that she was now happily walking with, as if Minamo alone had the privilege to._

___A tickle arose in her chest as she stole a peek at her companion, reminding herself of how good looking Yukari was, her features sharp and well crafted, much more alluring than senpai's..._

___"...can I ask you somethin', Kurosawa?"_

___The question interrupted Minamo's daydreaming. "...s-sure!"_

___"I just want to know somethin'." They turned a corner, now on the main straight of the suburb. "I want you to be honest with me."_

___"...what's that?"_

___"That stuff you wrote..."_

___In an instant, everything came crashing down._

___"...umm...are you...do you actually like girls?"_

___Minamo cursed herself incessantly for her own stupidity._

___She had forgotten._

___She had completely forgotten, in the rush of everything that she had just experienced, that this person had read her letter, and within a second, it all returned to her. ____The massive, crushing guilt that she had always felt against the accusations, the dread of those pointing fingers, the callous laughter, the horrible feeling of being exposed._

___It slowly began to fade away as Minamo buried it, the invigorating warmth that she had felt towards Yukari._

___"I mean...I didn't wanna' mention this before, but...all the rumors and stuf-"_

___"I don't like girls."_

___Yukari looked over to her as they strode along. "...ok, but, that stuff you wrote was pretty mushy, though. So, I'm just wonderin'..."_

___Her fists clenched together tightly. "I said...I'm not..."_

___"So you're not a lesbian?"_

___The word tore into her like a dagger. "I...I'm not. I just...I get close...to people...like senpai, and then everyone just starts making...a big deal out of it...and... exaggerates...things..."_

___They came to a stop in front of Yukari's house. "Ok. So, you're being completely honest with me then, Kurosawa? I just wanna' make sure you're bein' honest with me." She went around her, looking at her face. "So, you are, right?"_

___"...yes."_

___"Totally honest?"_

___Her eyes went to the side, downcast upon the ground. "Please...I'm being honest with you. I'm...not...I'm not like that..."_

___Yukari stared at her hard, examining her, scrutinizing her, but soon, smiled gingerly. "See, that's why I like you, Kurosawa." She slapped her classmate's shoulder merrily. "You're an honest kid. Like me! And I really like when people are honest with me." She pushed open the house gate, her other arm slung around Minamo's shoulders as they walked into the lot. "So good people like us, you know, us honest folk, we gotta' stick together against the world and stuff, you know? You know what I mean, Kurosawa?"_

_She dared not look at her as they went inside. "...yeah."_

* * *

_To my Senpai,_

_Thank you for everything that you do for the team. You're an amazing swimmer and we've all learned so much from you. All of the girls really appreciate you. But that is what I need to talk to you about. I'm writing this to you because I can never get the chance to talk to you alone._

_I love you the most out of everyone. I know everyone loves you, but this is different. I don't understand why you have to spend time with other people. You said you really enjoyed having me around, so why would you need anyone else then? I feel exactly the same way about you, but even more. You're the most beautiful, wonderful person to me. I get so excited and happy by just being around you. I'd do anything for you. I don't need any other people besides you. So I don't understand why you need anyone else then when you have me. No one else can come close to what I feel for you._

_Please talk to me after practice today about this. It's very frustrating to me. No one else thinks of you more than I do. I want to stay with you forever._

_-Your Minamo_


	37. Part I Chapter 37

**Author's Notes**

Hey!

I read a comment that reminded me that this will be the third year of this fic. Thanks for sticking with me, and I hope you're still enjoying it as much as I still enjoy writing/drawing it.

~Mendhi

* * *

Part I

Chapter 37

Minamo brought her car to a stop in front of the Tanizaki house, stepping out of it as the daylight above her began to dwindle away. Evening would soon be here, and with its arrival would come the time to take a drive to the city, the faculty dinner scheduled to begin in one of its ritzier establishments within the next hour. But while the trip itself was never particularly long, Minamo always had to account for two additional factors to the total ETA: the time it took to find decent parking, and the time it took for Yukari to get ready for any sort of outing. If the woman wasn't currently sleeping, then she would surely be immersed in some game or television show instead, and prying her away from something that she was heavily invested in, even with free food set as the lure, could sometimes prove to be an arduous, frustrating task.

She grunted, shaking her head sadly as she dreaded the possibility of it, and then went to the front gate. Her finger hovered over the intercom button, ready to press it...

_*thump*_

Her arm wavered, and then it dropped to her side as another rush of the old emotions suddenly assaulted her, the bombardment on her heart having almost been non-stop since yesterday.

_...why? Why...why isn't it stopping this tim-_

It riddled her chest again, a thousand pinpricks of pain.

_*thump*_

The truth vomited itself into the forefront of her mind again, the memories unable to be held back in even the slightest of ways. Sleep had been all but impossible for Minamo last night, and just simply making it through today had been such a horrible struggle as well, because she simply couldn't stop remembering. Yesterday at school, the floodgates on her past had painfully tore themselves open, and she had been forced to experience every emotion again, every feeling, image, thought, touch, smell, every single bit of every single memory that she had tried to bury from over the course of the past fifteen years.

Every single detail, from every single episode, of where the real Minamo Kurosawa had been allowed to briefly exist.

_*thump*_

Her chest continued to pulse again, her heart aching in waves now.

_...why...?_

_Why...does it...always have to hurt so badly?_

_Like there's a stake driven into me..._

_And why...why the hell won't it go away this time...?_

She couldn't forget anything now, couldn't will it away. After the confession from her student yesterday, after reliving that first momentous moment of her own youth, Minamo had felt something change inside of her. A lock had broken, a link in the chain had been permanently damaged.

And without the ability to push it back, to lie to herself like she always had before, it just kept attacking her without let.

All of that pain.

That horrible.

Terrible.

Pain.

The sickening, tormenting agony that had come from years of subconsciously knowing that the love of her life had always been right there by her side, but yet, that she had always been so completely terrified to have.

* * *

_"...hey, Yukari."_

_Her friend looked over to her as they went on with yet another morning trek to school. "What?"_

_Minamo bided her time, the subtle clicks of her bicycle's gears filling the air as she slowly pushed it along. "...can I ask you something?"_

_A plastic straw twirled playfully between Yukari's lips, the last remnant from a discarded juice box. "What's up?"_

_"Have you ever...I mean, have you ever had a crush on someone before?"_

_Her friend laughed. "Hell no."_

_The answer both disappointed and delighted Minamo at the same time. "A-ah...ok."_

_"Why ya' askin'?"_

_"I was...just curious."_

_"You think you like someone or somethin'? Not many guys around here...some kid from another school?"_

_"...ah...no. Sorry...I was..." She paused, feeling so awkward now. "I...I don't like anyone. I was just...I was just curious. We never really talk about that sort of stuff...so...I dunno', I just wanted to start some conversation..."_

_"Huh." Yukari shrugged. "Well, I don't really care about that romance stuff anyway. Buncha' mushy horseshit if you ask me. Actually, lemme' take that back..." She grinned menacingly. "If we're talkin' about other people's romantic stuff...yeah, then you got me interested in some conversation, Nyamo."_

_She laughed dryly. "Let's...let's not do that. But...um...oh...! I know. You...you must have some sort of preferences, right?"_

_"For what?"_

_"For...for someone you like. Like...you know, looks or...personality...or something..."_

_"Oh. Uh...if they buy me stuff. Like, a lot of stuff. That's probably my top preference. That'd do somethin' for me."_

_"So, you mean...you like rich people."_

_"Nope!"_

_"...wait, what?"_

_"I just like their money!"_

_Minamo sighed. "I should have just guessed that..."_

_Yukari snickered at her, then returned her attention to the pavement as they continued to walk. "But yeah...eh, I dunno'. I never really think about stuff like that. I can't say I like most people to begin with, let alone some snobby rich guy, ya' know? Like if I ever married one, I'd just off him from the get-go and make it look like an accident. Oh, I know! We'd go to one of those sea parks, right? Where they make whales juggle balls with their flippers and shit."_

_"Umm...I think seals do that, not whales..."_

_"That's not the point! Anyway, picture this: we reserve like a private session for ourselves, since we're rich and all that. Then when it's feeding time...a little nudge...a little push...oops!" __She smacked a fist into an open palm._ "Bam! Eaten by dolphins. It's the perfect crime."

_Minamo couldn't help but laugh. "How...how is that the 'perfect crime?'"_

_Her friend smiled sheepishly. "'cause when they have to testify in court, see, you just train them to lie ahead of time. They're pretty smart. They could pull it off."_

_She laughed even harder then, Yukari grinning widely as she thoroughly soaked in her friend's amusement._

_It took Minamo the better part of a minute before she could finally contain herself. "...you're so stupid, Yukari."_

_The girl chuckled, the straw whizzing about in circles._

_Minamo smiled at her with all the raw affection that she could muster. She was so utterly infatuated with how her friend always tried to make her laugh, as if it were some kind of personal mission on her own part. Even when they were among their other friends, and when Yukari would say something humorous, the first person that she would always look towards, to see if she had made her giggle, was her._

_And knowing that thrilled Minamo to no end._

_The laughs didn't stop as they engaged in another round of dialogue, Minamo completely immersed in the company of her odd, yet amusing, companion. While she had at first been dubious of the girl's desire to be her friend, given Yukari's usually devious nature, her overall impressions of her had quickly changed for the better. Underneath the rude exterior, Minamo had found an individual that was actually quite loving, but was just pretty hapless when it came to properly displaying her affections for others. The girl had some glaring issues with her pride and ego, but whenever they were cast aside, Yukari was then so incredibly endearing to be around._

_However, while Minamo had indeed become quite close to her newest friend, that didn't mean a solid connection of trust had been firmly established yet, because in the back of her mind, she always remembered that this particular girl had read her letter._

_And with that fact constantly nagging away at her, it was quite difficult to fully solidify this budding relationship, since Minamo had originally built it, had kept it maintained, with such a weak, porous cement._

_It was too great of a risk, in any case._

_To explain the reality of herself, after the things that Yukari had already done for her._

_That she had continued to do._

_So...then..._

* * *

_*thump*_

_...why am I always...so scared?_

Minamo stared at herself in the passenger window of her car, her face looking so depleted as she continued to stand outside the house gate.

_Whenever I feel like this...it feels so wonderful, but then...but then I just panic..._

She leaned against the vehicle, her arms folded over the roof of it, her forehead settled against the top of the door rim.

_Why can't I even just go inside? Like I've done...I can't even count how many times before. But now, I'm terrified..._

_*thump*_

_...just to see her...just..._

_...just to..._

_...even be near her..._

The memories continued to stream into her consciousness unabated, Minamo helpless to stop their flow. She was obsessing now, completely forgetting about the reason she had come out here in the first place, still staying well away from the buzzer. The faculty dinner didn't matter at all now as she poured over the questions, the self-inquiries that she had asked of herself so many times before, but yet had never truly answered, simply burying them, hiding them from her awareness.

But at the moment, their demands to be solved were simply too powerful to be squelched, the nearby presence of her love giving fuel to it.

To that guilt...

That that screaming stigma.

_...because I'm afraid of being seen differently, right? Isn't that it? That's why...I get so scared..._

_...right?_

_Isn't that why...I keep hiding it?_

_Why I always run away from you? _

_Or...is it..._

_...is it something else?_

_*thump*_

* * *

_"...you're...you're really sure that everything is ok...?"_

_Yukari flipped a page in her book as she lay on her room's floor, holding the novel in the air above her. "Yeah. It's no big deal." Her bare feet played around with each other, displaying her excitement from whatever part of the story that she was currently at. "Was just a dumb argument, anyway. Nothin' really serious..."_

_Minamo sighed, sitting next to her as she watched her friend's television, relaxing in her house during one of their usual Friday nights together. "So you're positive things will be fine, then? I'm just concerned whenever my friends argue with each other, Yukari. That's why I brought it up..."_

_"Yeah, I know, but it's cool. Don't worry about it."_

_"...Yukari..." She pushed a stray bang of hair away with some frustration. "I heard...a little about it. I heard that she didn't want you to hang out with us anymore...because of that fight last week."_

_Her friend's feet immediately ceased with their ecstatic actions. "Yeah, well, maybe, maybe not. Just forget about it."_

_The girl's voice was quiet and subdued, but the rage that was laced within it was still more than tangible to Minamo. "Look...there's something that I've been wanting to talk to you about for awhile..."_

_Yukari let out a groan, putting down her book as she now stared at the ceiling. "You're killin' my mood, Nyamo..."_

_"Just listen to me. I know you've been having a few problems with some of our friends lately, and...and I know why. It's because of me."_

_"...nah." Yukari sat up slowly, looking at her. "They're just stupid little fights. It's no big deal. Everything's all patched up now."_

_Minamo shook her head. "Yukari...you know that I appreciate your help whenever that...that stuff comes up about me again. But...I think a lot of people are getting the wrong impression of you now because of it, since...you might take things a little overboard sometimes..."_

_Her classmate shrugged. "Those dumbasses need some sense knocked into 'em, so they stop with all that lesbian stuff. That's the only way to take care of idiots like that. And I mean, you haven't had to hear any of that shit for a good while now, right? Well, I mean, outside of last week..." She grinned sarcastically._

_"...yeah...I know...but, still..."_

_"Then that's what counts!"_

_"Yukari, I just don't think it's fair for you to get a reputation like that because of me."_

_The girl chuckled. "Eh, I can live with it. Besides, who cares if some dweebs don't like me? It just pisses me off when people start makin' up shit about you. That's what ain't really right, Nyamo! And now things are goin' pretty good for you now, right?"_

_Minamo placed her chin between her folded legs, her heart suddenly becoming so heavy. "...r-right...but..."_

_Yukari looked at her curiously. "Huh? What's wrong?"_

_She took her time, gathering her thoughts together. Her friend was completely correct on the state of her school life. For the first time in a long time, Minamo had actually enjoyed attending her classes, the rumors about her dubious sexuality, the threat of being picked on by peers that had seen or heard certain things about her past, almost completely absent from them now. No one really took any of that very seriously anymore, and outside of the occasional whisper or instigator, she didn't have much to worry about as far as keeping the integrity of her self-image intact. _

_However, as for Yukari's image..._

_Minamo looked over in her direction. "I think...I think that you should know something, Yukari. About me, I mean..."_

_Yukari crooked her head. "What about you?"_

_She glanced at her face, into the depths of her brown eyes, and then immediately regretted it._

_"Somethin' wrong?"_

_Minamo stifled the sad breath that she had wanted to take. __"...I just...wanted you to know that...I'm always really glad to know that you're on my side, Yukari. I just wanted...to say 'thanks for everything', I mean...for believing me..."_

_Yukari stared at her blankly for a moment, before her expression exploded with raw happiness, like a puppy that had just been rewarded for a performing a trick. "Oh...yeah! Geez, I always tell you that it's no problem! All in a day's work and shit!"_

_She peered past Yukari, towards the bedroom window. "Hey...before it gets really dark...do you want to get some ice cream? I kind of want some. It'll be my treat."_

_Her friend's gigantic smile spread even wider as she cheered, her arms thrown into the air in celebration. "Yes! Hell yes!"_

_Minamo grinned, and it was all forgotten again._

* * *

_...it really hasn't changed._

With her hands in her jeans' pockets, Minamo went on with her slow stroll down the small alley behind the Tanizaki house, taking note of the scene under fading daylight. Although her friend's residence had always been like a safe haven for her of sorts, she had made it a practice to try and avoid this particular area of it, the warnings in her chest usually making it feel like some sort of crime scene.

At this particular moment, however, she had found it so strangely easy to pass by the tape.

_*thump*_

Beside her were the fences and walls of the alleyway, setting the boundaries of the house yards that they enclosed. While some of the paint colors had changed, some new materials patched in here and there, for the most part, it was still the same old, quiet little alley.

_...here._

She brought herself to a halt, looking around.

_... right here. I remember it. It...it really is the same. It's so funny. This place hasn't changed much at all really, and..._

Minamo looked down to the ground, soaking in every thought and feeling that permeated the air.

_...I guess I really haven't, either._

She began to relive it all once again, the play being carried out before her eyes as she stood in the very spot where she had, for the first time in her life, felt the warmth.

_Yukari..._

The weight returned to her shoulders, her heart.

_...when these feelings visit me again...I'm always so frightened to face them. To really admit...my real desires, and then have to hear what people...would actually think of me then. But...there's always something else that scares me much, much more than just what I feel for you, and that's...that's what really terrifies me..._

_...and just makes me want to disappear. To run away from you, so that..._

_...so that I don't have to see your face, if you..._

_...if I..._

_'...an honest kid...'_

Minamo ground her teeth together, and then looked over towards her old friend's house.

She knew she was stalling. That was simple enough to understand. But the reason as to why was just out of her grasp...had always been just out of her grasp.

With a heavy sigh, she made her way back to the front of the residence, and finally pressed the buzzer.

_*thump*_


	38. Part I Chapter 38

Part I

Chapter 38

_"Wait...but why didn't you?"_

_The birthday girl frowned, looking away from her as she viewed her other guests, and then took a small sip from a glass of fruit punch. "It's...it's not what you think, Minamo. It's just...you know..."_

_Minamo looked around herself as well, taking note of the small gathering of teenagers inside of the house. A few of her friend's family members were running about, but for the most part, everyone else was a classmate of theirs. They were the girls that she spoke to or saw almost every single day at school, the fellow students that had become a constant part of her daily life and routine._

_One girl in particular, however, was clearly missing._

_She grunted with frustration, walking around her friend in order to stare at her in the eyes. "I 'know' what?"_

_"...come on, Minamo. You know I like Yukari, but, there's a few people here that wouldn't have come if she were around."_

_Her fists clenched together. "...that's not fair! She's our friend! She deserves to be here with us as much as anyone else..."_

_An obvious pain showed on the girl's face. "I know, Minamo. I'm sorry. It's...I didn't know what to do. I just...all I could figure was that it would be the fairest to disappoint the least amount of people..."_

_"It's not fair to Yukari!"_

_Her friend sighed. "I know. I'll talk to her about it and apologize when I see her next time. But Minamo...you have to see it from their side, too." She nodded to her guests. "You know how Yukari can be, and...well, she hasn't been doing herself any favors lately, either."_

_Minamo's expression twisted with scrutiny. "What do you mean?"_

_"...you know, those fights and stuff that she gets into sometimes. She just seems to lose her cool for some reason and just...well, you've heard what goes on. She does bring a lot of this on herself..."_

_A sickness abruptly entered her stomach. "W-what...? No she doesn't..."_

_"What?"_

_"I mean, Yukari...she just..."_

_The girl peered at her strangely. "Huh? Just what?"_

_"...how she...gets into trouble. A lot of it...it's not her fault."_

_"What are you talking about, Minamo? You know her as well as I do...she just loses her cool and goes nuts. That's how she always is. To be honest, no one even knows why half the time. She never tells us what's going on, and the kids she picks on never say anything either..."_

_Minamo bit her lip. "That's...she doesn't pick on them. She...she just..."  
_

_"...you're acting weird, Minamo. She just 'what'...?"_

_Her body fidgeted around, her eyes darting about the area a few times. "...just..."_

_The girl stared on, waiting._

_An eventual sigh escaped from her, Minamo's shoulders sagging down. "It's...its nothing. You're right..."_

* * *

_"Nooooooooooooooooooo!"_

Minamo shook her head sadly, shutting the door behind her as she pushed Yukari back inside of the house. "Be quiet, Yukari. Don't scream like that. You'll freak out your neighbors..."

The woman tried to force her way back outside, her feet set up against the elevated part of the entrance way. _"Let's just go! I'll live! I'll die after I pig out...I can hold on 'till then...!_"

She caught her as she almost fell over, Yukari feeling so weak and limp in her hands. "What in the world did you come down with? You look like a mess!"

"Dammit'..._dammit! I'm fine!_"

Minamo placed a hand to her friend's forehead, checking her condition. The moment that Yukari had opened the door to let her inside of the house, she knew something was wrong with her, her face and skin appearing so pale and vapid, her complexion marred by a thin layer of sweat. "...I think you have a small fever. Let's get you to your room..."

"...ugh..._no...!_" Yukari's arms flailed about lamely, her purse falling to the ground. "...my buffet!_ My reason for living...!_ _Let's...let's just go!_"

"You can barely even stay on your feet." She slung one of the woman's arms over her shoulders, supporting her as she took her up the stairs. "What happened to you, Yukari?"

A strange gurgling sound was the reply.

Minamo gently made an about face, recognizing that particular sound from many times before in the past while in Yukari's company, and headed straight for the bathroom. "Hold on."

"...ughhhh..."

She barely got the woman's head over the sink before her friend decorated it, looking away as the business was done.

A few last feeble gags signaled the end of it, Yukari letting out a giant, relieved sigh. "...now...now I can eat again..."

"_No._ You're not eating anything. You're going to lay down in bed while I figure out what's wrong with you." She reached for the faucet, letting the water flow as it washed the former contents of Yukari's stomach down the drain. "You're definitely not in any condition to move around, let alone go out and overdo it like you usually do..."

The woman didn't offer any more resistance, simply letting her friend slowly haul her to her room. "...no...no buffet, then, Nyamo...?"

"...I'm sorry, Yukari, but, no."

Minamo closed her eyes with pity as she was made witness to the most gut wrenching, sorrowful cry of grief that she had ever heard in her life.

Within another minute, she had Yukari laying down upon her bed, looking down at her as she took in the whole of her symptoms. "...you ate something bad today, didn't you?"

The woman didn't respond immediately, almost appearing to slowly fall to sleep "...I might of...had...some beef..."

"And you made it yourself, right?"

Yukari frowned.

"I knew it. Yukari, how many times have I told you to check the date on those packages? I think you've got a little food poisoning..._again_."

_"No one was here to feed me! What the fuck was I supposed ta' do?"_

Minamo folded her arms across her chest, recalling that she hadn't seen any car outside on the lot. "Did your parents go somewhere today? Like on another trip?"

"I dunno'. Who cares. _Who cares!_" Small beads of tears began to form at the corner of her eyes, streaking down the sides of her face. "It's all over. There's no point to anythin' anymore. All those years I spent in college to get this stupid job are a total waste now. I...my free booze...it's gone..._foooooreveeeeeer._.." She began to sob heavily.

Minamo put a hand over her face, sighing at the sad sight before her. "Yukari, just wait for next year's dinner. And you only have yourself to blame, anyway. You're almost thirty-one years old now and you still can't make a decent meal for yourself. How many times has this happened to you before? It's embarrassing..."

"_But I was hunnngrryyy..._"

"You could have ordered something."

"Ah, but I have no money."

"_What?_ Didn't you just have a wallet full of cash yesterday? You know, the one we found after you said it went missing...?"

"...I spent it all..."

Another sigh. "On what...?"

"My victory party."

Minamo crooked her head, peering at the woman curiously. "...what 'party'?"

Yukari managed to put on a thin smile through out all the discomfort that she was in. "My reward for graduating those punks." She lifted an arm weakly, pointing towards the entertainment center that sat against one of the walls.

She looked over, instantly frowning. A few brand new video game cases lay scattered upon the floor, and freshly purchased books and manga were surrounded by empty beer cans and food containers, all of it coming together to form some sort of deadbeat shrine. "I should have guessed..."

Her friend chuckled before coughing lightly.

"... let me go get the thermometer. I'm pretty sure you have a fever, but I don't think it's too bad, so we won't have to take you to the hospital or anything. Just relax here, ok? Don't stress yourself."

A disheartened expression took over Yukari's face then, her body becoming motionless as she succumbed to the realization of how her night was now turning out. "Yeah, ok, Minamo."

She smiled kindly, and then walked out of the room. The moment that she was in the hallway however, out of sight of her friend, she leaned herself against a wall in exhaustion, breathing rapidly.

_...I'm insane...completely insane._

The shivers ran rampant through her chest now, a tingling delight that had been growing in intensity from the very moment that she had entered Yukari's house, the very moment that she had felt the woman's body when she had caught her from falling over.

_I'm always fine! I'm...I'm with her all the time...I touch her like that all the time...but now...it's just so, so hard to..._

It had taken everything she had to keep herself in check, to keep herself from acting like a bumbling, nervous wreck in front of Yukari now. All of the bottled up feelings she had for the woman, all of the desire that she had kept under lock and key for so long had wanted to escape from her, to make the most of the new lease on their life. Minamo had become fully aware of herself since yesterday's events, completely aware of what her heart actually wanted, had always wanted, and, had it not been for Yukari being in real distress just now, she would have been keeping her distance from her as best she could, as she had planned for tonight's canceled outing.

_Ugh..._

She ground her teeth together, wondering if her friend had noticed anything off about her behavior, if she had seen the color of her cheeks become red when she had first felt her forehead.

_...settle down..._

Her hands went over her face as she calmed herself, attempting to come to terms with what was now happening to her. It was as if someone else had just essentially taken control of her emotions, two separate hearts inside of her now, beating to completely different rhythms. One was the usual restrained and stoic one that she was well acquainted with, the one that never got excited from dealing with her old friend in any sort of manner.

The other heart, however...

A long whining sound came out from Minamo then, the back of her head scraping the wall as she looked up to the ceiling. She was at a complete loss as towards what she should do now, thoroughly confused as to what she herself wanted. There was no way she would leave Yukari in her current state, especially with the unknown whereabouts of her parents, but at the same time, she wasn't sure could make it through the ordeal before her. The reality of who and what she was wasn't bowing down to her usual methods of suppression, and the longing for the woman in the room behind her, the need for connecting with her on a level beyond that of a simple good friend, was overpowering her now.

_...but then why...why don't I just...?_

Minamo felt the cut, the blade of terror, slice right through her then, and her hands slapped against the wall.

_What the hell? What the hell...am I always so afraid of...?_

* * *

The compromise was working out so far.

Yukari had fallen asleep, her symptoms having diminished slightly before she had. Her temperature had been a little high, but nothing to overly worry about, a damp cloth on her forehead having made her comfortable enough to drift off.

And with her patient slumbering, Minamo had resumed the scheme that she had originally entered Yukari's house with. She would stay with the woman tonight, but just simply keep her distance from her whenever possible. If she couldn't subdue the painful emotional attachment, or the biting fears that came with it, then she could at least physically separate herself from Yukari as she sat well away on the carpet, just watching a late night show on the television with the room lights off.

The illumination from the screen flickered softly across her face, highlighting her features when much activity was occurring, bathing it darkness at the parts where there weren't.

_...because everyone might find out. That's...that's what it is...what it always has been..._

Her eyes took in the images from the television, but her mind didn't process them in the slightest way.

Minamo rubbed her forehead against her gathered knees.

_That's got to be what's keeping me away. That's what's always kept me away. I just don't want...to be different...to be seen differently..._

_...right?_

It made sense for a moment, but as had occurred in the past, Minamo felt something off with her answer.

_...that's...it's just part of it. It's something else...something else..._

The aggravation went on, the great dilemma that had always gotten the best of her reasoning abilities. Whenever it had come to admitting it to herself, to everyone else, of what her actual romantic preferences were, her courage would just completely abandon her. From the very first time that the true nature of her sexuality had been nearly exposed, way back on that surreal high school day, that horrible guilt, an agonizing pain, would just gut her completely. There was of course the natural fear of going against the grain, to procure a relationship that many others might disapprove of, and Minamo could understand that part of the dread.

But beneath that anxiety, she had always felt the presence of a terror that lay much deeper at the core of her being, a crippling dilemma that she had never really come to understand. It had disallowed her from ever becoming truly comfortable with herself, denied her from accomplishing something as incredible as her own student had just done the previous day. Minamo's heart would just always freeze at the critical moment, her instincts telling her to run from whatever woman she had developed affections for, whenever those warm feelings became too much to control.

_Maybe...it's because I'm scared of rejection. I couldn't tell someone, not her of all people, of how I love them, and then...and then hear them say 'no', just because I'm a woman...and after hiding it all this time..._

_...especially...after all I made her go through..._

"What's on?"

Her thoughts came to a screeching halt, Minamo turning to Yukari as she lay on the bed, the woman's eyes just barely open now. "...ah! How...how are you feeling now? You were asleep...for about an hour..."

"...still feel kind of sicky. I feel achey too, and a little warm, that's it."

"...let me...let me change...the cloth, then."

Yukari didn't say a word as her friend got up, Minamo taking in a gigantic breath as she steeled herself.

She walked over to the bed, carefully removing the cloth from the woman's forehead. A small bowl of ice water was on a nearby drawer, so she soaked the item in it and then slowly placed it back upon her. "...is...that fine?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

Minamo didn't hesitate, scurrying back to her place on the floor, her arms wrapped around her knees once again.

_...I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it..._

Even though the act she had performed was such a routine one, the woman laying by her someone she had been near, touched, felt a countless number of times before, Minamo's heart still fluttered wildly from the short contact. She had become so abashed just now, as if she had just met the object of her affection for the first time in her life, the electricity still dancing over her skin.

And again, that battle raged on inside of her, one side wanting to openly love Yukari, the other fighting it back with that unknown, terrible fear.

"Hey, Minamo."

She looked over to the bed nervously. "Y-yeah...?"

A small pause. "You shoulda' gone to that dinner. You didn't have to stay here."

"...umm..." Minamo hesitated, something a bit off in how her friend was speaking, like she were being overly reserved. "...no. Your folks aren't here, and..." She managed a small smile. "You never do well by yourself when you're sick...no offense. But...yeah, I'm not...just going to leave you here like that."

Another break in the dialogue, but then Yukari rolled to her side, facing away from her as she pulled her blanket over herself. "...thanks for stayin' with me, then. Sorry that I always ruin stuff."

The humble words caught her off guard, but Minamo quickly recovered herself, now understanding why the woman was behaving so politely. She recalled a few times in her past when Yukari had acted in this same manner before, whenever she been exhausted and sick as she now was, the ailments always making her more...thoughtful about things. Whereas inebriation simply multiplied the strength of her usual belligerent personality, suffering the drain of an affliction seemed to just somehow greatly sedate her rowdiness, unlocking her prideful defenses as some of her sincerity was let out. "Don't be silly...you didn't ruin anything. I...I..."

"...you what?"

"...I wasn't...very interested in going anyway. Y-you know...busy week...so, I was really...actually I was tired, so...this is nice...to just relax here..."

Yukari turned back to her a little, facing the ceiling now. "You're still not over graduation, huh?"

"...ah...yeah...I guess...so..."

"I knew it. You sounded kinda' weird. Well, to be honest, I was kind of thinkin' about some of that stuff too since yesterday. I mean...yeah, I guess I miss those kids a little too, but I was thinkin' more about us."

The last word got a jerk from her heart. "...'u-us'...?"

"It's just kinda' funny when I think about it. We went to the same high school, then we got jobs at the same high school, and now we just graduated our first seniors at the same time. When you think about it, that's pretty crazy. I wonder how many people out there found jobs with people they went to school or whatever with, and they're still workin' together, ya' know?"

She looked at her curiously, unsure of where the woman was going with this. "Ah...yeah...um...I don't know. I guess...it might happen often, but I don't know really know."

"I wonder how long we'll both be there. It's crazy."

Minamo's eyes went back to the television, a voice inside advising her to not follow up on that point for some reason. Yukari didn't seem to be bothered by the lack of response in any case, the woman sounding as if she were talking more to herself anyway, and Minamo didn't mind that. She just enjoyed whenever Yukari spoke like this, when she was more honest about herself, even if she wasn't actually talking to her per say.

"Hey...Yukari...can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, go for it."

"...do you think things will keep...staying like this, then?"

The woman turned towards her, being careful as to not let the damp cloth slip off her forehead. "Stay like what?"

"J-just...I mean..." She swallowed, finding it so difficult to ask what she wanted to, wondering why she even was. "...we've been...t-...together for awhile now...um...so...do you think, that, we'll keep...doing the same things? You know...like...working together, or...just hanging out here together, or wherever. Because...let's say...that if you got married, then, would we still...do the things we do now...like we are now?"

"Oh." Her friend looked back up. "I don't know. I don't see why not."

"...but I mean, whenever I'd want to come over, you know? That's what I mean...or whenever...you'd want to come to my place. It'd be different if one of us was married, right?"

Yukari pondered the question. "I guess. I dunno'. Would kind of have to happen first to see how it goes. I wouldn't get married though if it meant that I had to stop doin' the things I like to do, or couldn't go where I wanted to."

Minamo smiled weakly. "Yeah. I think...I would be the same way..."

A sigh came from the bed. "Not like that's gonna' happen anytime soon, anyway. We're on the sidelines nowadays, Minamo, let's face it."

"...you don't think...that you'll get married?"

"What's this 'you' stuff? I said 'we're'. But, yeah, I guess." She coughed again a few times. "I don't really care anymore, to be honest. I'm fine with how things are."

"R-r-really...?"

"Yeah. I just like doin' my own thing, I guess. I feel free."

"...well it's nice, I suppose. I like having time for my jobs...and...having my own place. I just...you know, you do get lonely sometimes..."

Yukari looked over to her again. "Oh, is that why you were askin' if you could come over still?"

She felt herself blush then, not bothering to hide the fact since the room was fairly dark. "Ah...I...I guess..."

"Well, you know that you're always welcome here."

Minamo took her time in responding, surprised by the woman's words. Even though she had gone through experiences like this with Yukari before, having an actual serious conversation with her was always still quite uncanny. "...do you really mean that, Yukari?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?"

"...I just...appreciate hearing you say something like that."

"Why's that?"

She looked down the carpet, her hands clasped together in front of her legs. "It's just nice to hear..."

"It's not like you didn't know that before or somethin'. You've been comin' over here forever."

"I know. But still, it's...you know, it's just about...like I said, it's just a nice experience to have it be said to you. So...thanks..."

A few moments passed by, Yukari thinking to herself. "...you got a lot of that yesterday, huh?"

"A lot of what?"

"Kids sayin' nice things to you and whatever."

"...oh...graduation. Umm...I guess..."

"You don't gotta' be modest about it. Everyone's always doin' that sort of stuff for you. You always get tons of presents and stuff."

Minamo hesitated with her words just slightly, unsure of what Yukari's objective was for this conversation, of whether it would lead to one of her usual jealous rants. "...they're all just being very kind. They...they overdid it yesterday, I think..."

"Nah. Everyone loves you, so it's no surprise they did."

Once again, she was caught off guard. There wasn't any of that scorn or disdain in Yukari's voice whenever she _was_ full of envy, but then again, her friend wasn't in her usual state of mind. "...y-you know...that's...that's sort funny that you mention that..."

"Why?"

"...yesterday...something...sort of awkward happened to me. I'm not trying to brag about this...it was just a very surreal thing to me. After all the other students left, one came back...and gave me a letter."

"A letter?"

"Yeah. It..."

_...why am I telling her this...?_

"...it was a love letter. I was...really surprised. This student, one of my homeroom students, had been in love with me since being a first year."

Yukari chuckled. "There ya' go. Now you can get married."

"...well...it was a female student..."

"Oh, a girl confessed to you, huh?"

Minamo withheld a gasp, shocked at how easily Yukari had just responded to the detail. "...ah...yeah. I didn't know how to handle it...very well. But...I think it went ok. I told her I appreciated it all, but...obviously...it wouldn't work out..."

Yukari scratched her nose. "You'd get fired in a heartbeat for goin' out with a kid."

Again, she held in her amazement, the woman not commenting on the obvious. "...well...that...and...of course, I didn't return her feelings. But...she took it alright, I guess. I actually...saw her later in the day. The kids had gotten together at one of those karaoke bars and I just stopped by...and she was doing ok. I was just afraid she'd be angry at me or something like that, like if I had screwed up and said anything possibly wrong to her...but we got along."

"Well, that's good. Lot o' kids get all sorts of messed up after gettin' rejected."

"...I guess you can put it that way. But...it..." Minamo gripped her fingers even more tightly together. "...it was just a different experience. I...I have to say that it was...very flattering..."

"What ya' mean?"

"...you know. I guess...maybe I'm looking at this from the wrong angle, but, it is kind of flattering to be hit on by another girl...or woman, right? Like...wow, you...you're even attractive to someone of your own sex..."

"Yeah, I guess so. What'd she tell you, anyway?"

"Tell me?"

"When she confessed to you. Like, did she go on some big, dramatic mush-trip, or play it cool, or what?"

"Oh...no, nothing very dramatic. She was really nervous, that's about it. She just said that she was in love with me. And...you know, she just liked how I look...and, you know...just usual lovey-dovey stuff."

"...yeah, I guess I can see the looks thing. You've always had that hot gender-bendin' thing goin' on for you, so no wonder she went gaga."

"...you think so?"

"Yeah. It's pretty attractive."

"...oh, hold on. My stomach's growling." Minamo got up. "I'm going to go make some noodles. You want some soup? You can eat soup."

Yukari yawned, her feet kicking under the blankets as she stretched. "Sure. Thanks."

Minamo smiled, politely and calmly making her way out of the room...

...and then sprinted to the kitchen, flying down the stairs as she screamed into it.

She dumped herself over the table, leaning against it with her hands, her jaw shivering uncontrollably.

_...did she..._

A gigantic, broken grin spread across her face, one that she didn't even notice come into existence.

_...just say...that I was 'hot'...?_

Some small, suppressed laughs of glee began to fill the area.

_Did..._

_...did she..._

_... did she just flirt with me?_

Her entire demeanor had now collapsed into a total, erratic mess, Minamo having just had to struggle _immensely_ in order to keep herself together when Yukari had said those things to her. Every single sense in her body had sizzled furiously at the very moment that the compliment had been uttered, every single heartbeat now sending waves of pure ecstasy flying across her being, and, if she had remained in the room for even one more second...

_...holy...holy crap...!_

_...I can't believe it...!_

_She does!_

_She...she does think I'm attractive!_

_Hot!_

_Hot even!_

_She said it! She said it! She said it! She said it...!_

It was nearly unfathomable to her, of how just a few brief words had elicited such an incredible response on her own part, but Minamo felt as if some old, ravenous craving of hers had finally been fed the tiniest scrap of a delicacy. Something inside of her had been waiting, waiting for fifteen years, for Yukari to say something about her appearance like that. Not just an observation on some single part of her, some detail like her smile, but rather, an admiration that was far more grand in nature, more gestalt on what it approved of, much more fulfilling.

And even though she knew full well that Yukari was out of her regular sorts, it had still been _her_ that had said it. _Yukari Tanizaki_ had said it, with her own mouth, in her own way, right to her, and Minamo was absolutely _positive_ that she had _not_ misheard the words in the slightest of ways.

_...what...am going to do now?_

_What...do I want to do?_

_I can't think...oh my gosh, I can't even think!_

Sheer giddiness overtook her then, and in an instant, the Minamo that had originally stepped into this house had completely disappeared. The real Minamo, the one that had remained buried for so long, was now in full control, her liberation all thanks to the most simplest of comments by her beloved. The guilt, the faceless fear, the endless reasoning of why she shouldn't reveal her true nature, the terror of having everyone know, of having Yukari know that she had never been truthful to her, all of it was gone. Now, there was only blissful exuberance, the type of pure, unadulterated excitement that never even gave the tiniest bit of a damn about the consequences, that silenced all the voices.

Her hands were on her head, her fingers pulling at her hair in joy as a nascent Minamo Kurosawa got lost in it all.

_Yukari...! Yukari! What do you think of me? What do you really...really...really think of me...?_

* * *

Minamo continued to pace around the Tanizaki living room, her mind frantically considering all of her options, sleep not possible for her in any way whatsoever.

_...I'm not going to do it like my student. Not outright. Slow. Slow and steady. That's my way. That's what I should do. Just gradually...gradually..._

Yukari was in her room still, sleeping soundly after the light meal that she had been given. It was nearly 1:00 AM now, and more than likely, the woman would be down and out for the remainder of the night.

And that was fine for Minamo, because it gave her a chance to plan.

For tomorrow.

For the day after, then the week after, then the coming month...

_I'll try that first. Yeah. That will work. Just remember, slow...slow. Just take it easy. Don't take risks...just keep it steady..._

Another euphoric chill went through her chest, Minamo fully succumbing to it.

_...I'm such a fool. I should have just done this...a long time ago. A long, long time ago..._

Everything in the vault of her previous experience had just been cleaned out. Nothing from back then mattered now, nothing she had struggled with was of any concern to her.

Only one thing remained on Minamo's mind, and that was her desire.

She needed more.

She needed to hear it again. To hear Yukari talk about her.

That's all that mattered now.

To hear more about how she liked her appearance.

And then, to hear adoring comments about her personality.

And accomplishments.

And everything else about her.

She needed it badly, this drug, this intoxication that had finally come to her, that had finally been given to her, after years...

...and years...

...and years...

...of waiting for Yukari to grant it.

To just give some small hint of her relationship to her.

Just a small taste of something more.

So that when Minamo would tell her that she loved her, then...

_...it will work. It'll work. Everything will be perfect...absolutely perfect..._

The plan continued to formulate in her head, Minamo preparing herself for the summer where everything would finally change for her, exactly in the ways that her real heart had always wanted them to, the other one now drowning beneath an ocean of adrenaline and excitement.


	39. Part I Chapter 39

**Author's Notes**

Sorry for the long wait. Time hasn't been on my side lately.

Was hoping to have a picture ready for this one, but I'll (hopefully) include it with the next chapter, since this one has already taken long enough to come out.

~Mendhi

* * *

Part I

Chapter 39

Minamo closed the lid on the camping cooler and moved it to the entrance way of her apartment, the drinks and ice that were inside of it well insulated from the external temperature. She had owned the item for a decent while now, mainly utilizing it for the long road trips that she went on with the athletic teams she coached, and had deemed it as one of the best high-price purchases that she had ever made.

_...ok, that's all set. I have the tickets. I have money in my wallet. So now, let's give her a call._

She took out her phone and dialed Yukari's number, hoping that the woman would be up by now. A few days had passed since graduation day had occurred, spring break now upon them, and so, as she did every year, Yukari had chosen to spend the entire week by taking a pleasant vacation to her bed. Minamo, on the other hand, still had her swim club and other duties to manage, so she usually limited any possible time off for herself in order to properly attend to them.

Today, however, was an exception to that rule. She had finished up everything she had needed to as quickly as possible, leaving the campus immediately afterward in order to zoom back home. There was something else that Minamo had planned for this particular day, a special occasion that she wouldn't allow to be interrupted for any reason whatsoever, even work.

A few rings of the phone went as Minamo held it to her ear, and then she smiled as she heard that familiar old voice.

_"...yeah, what is i-"_

_"Happy Birthday, Yukari!"_

* * *

_"Oh no-frickin'-way! I thought you said we were goin' to the bar!"_

Minamo chuckled with amusement as she took her car off the freeway exit, heading down the ramp towards the day's actual destination.

Yukari's jaw hung wide open in astonishment, her attention fully captured by the sight that was outside of the passenger seat window, a scene that was growing larger and larger as they neared it. "Are we...are we seriously goin' there, Nyamo...?"

"We might be! If you promise me that you'll behave anyway, ok?"

The woman's face exploded with happiness. _"Holy shit! Cross my fuckin' heart I will! I promise! I promise!"_ She plastered her face and hands against the car window, keeping them there as they drove into the gigantic parking lot that Minamo had now taken them into, Yukari looking like a puppy that desperately wanted to jump out the door. _"Maaaaagicaaaaal Laaaaaaand!"_

Minamo began to laugh loudly, the childish excitement that her friend was now displaying appearing so adorable to her, especially given the fact that her age hardly categorized as one. It was impossible to tell by her youthful looks and juvenile behavior, but Yukari Tanizaki had just turned thirty-one today, and so, Minamo had taken the liberty of treating her out for it. Normally, that just meant getting their friends together for some cake and drinks for Yukari's birthday, of whom was usually more concerned with what sort of presents she got, rather then where and how they celebrated it.

For this year, however, Minamo had decided roll the gift and location into one.

After a few minutes spent driving around the lot to find a parking spot, Minamo brought the car to a slow stop in one of the free stalls. The moment that she did, Yukari flung open the door, attempting to leap out wildly from the vehicle, but was caught and choked by the seat belt that was still strapped over her. Her hands then struggled furiously with the buckle until she got it loose, and she fubmled out onto the pavement in a heap before standing up into a triumphant pose. _"I'm here!"_

Minamo stepped out, coming to stand by her friend as they stared at the large castle gates, the decorated wall that surrounded the fantasy-styled amusement park that she had brought them to. Although it had been a bit of a drive to get here, and cost her a decent amount of cash for the tickets, to see Yukari's genuine reaction to it all was already well worth it. The woman had always been a sucker for theme parks, the dream-like aesthetics of them, the crazy rides, the wonderful shows, all of it always feeding the ravenous fancies of her imagination like almost nothing else could.

"I hope you like your present, Yukari."

Yukari looked at her with a face that was dripping with elation. "I can't...holy shit, I...you're...you're actually payin' for this...?"

She smiled. "Yep! It's all on me!"

The woman couldn't help but look completely dumbfounded then. "But...ok...I'm confused. Why are you doin' this?"

"Because it's your birthday, silly."

"But..." Yukari stared back and forth between her and the amusement park. "...but...ok. Don't take this the wrong way, Nyamo. I just...well...you're usually kinda' stingy about doin' stuff like this."

She waved a hand in the air, as if shooing something away. "It's ok, don't worry about it. Anyway, I just wanted you to have a good time today, and I know you love coming here. I know it's been a long time for you, too."

"_When the fuck did you get so awesome?_" Yukari stepped over to her friend, embracing her in a gigantic, clumsy bear hug as tears of joy spilled down her face. "_Thankyouthankyouthankyou!_"

Minamo laughed merrily as the woman expressed her jubilation so emphatically. "Y-you're welcome! Ok, ok, ok...calm down! Come on...!"

Her friend released her, buzzing around her excitedly as she pumped her fists into the air. "_Nyamo's the best!"_

It took a little time, but Minamo finally calmed the woman down to a level that would be acceptable around the other park visitors, and then led her to the gates of the park. After passing through the ticket booths, they were finally inside, the entirety of Magical Land now before them. With the large map and list of show times that they had received at the gate in hand, the two women set off on their day of fun as they melded in with the flowing crowds around them.

"Coaster first! Where's that damn new one...?"

She opened the map up. "It's over by the cup rides. Here, this is the wa-"

Yukari didn't waste another moment, suddenly taking off as she shoved over kids, adults, the elderly, anyone that got in her way, repeatedly yelling that she was the 'Queen' in English and that all should step aside for her.

Minamo sprinted after her, eventually catching the woman, scolding her, and then took in her in the direction of where the roller coaster in question was located.

"Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!" Yukari rubbed her hands together with anticipation as they took their place in the long, winding line of visitors for the ride. "Let's try and sit in the front! It's more awesome that way, and we won't get puke in our faces from any of the wimps here, if one of 'em barfs I mean."

She chuckled. "Actually, should you be one to talk? I remember _you_ throwing up quite a few times on the other rides here."

Yukari frowned, unable to form any sort of retort against the claim.

Minamo smiled, her friend soon recovering herself as she continued on with her description of how incredible this new coaster would be, and then began to list the precise order of the other attractions and shows that they should visit afterward.

She just simply listened to it all, always quite used to hearing the woman's excited banter, keeping quiet as she smiled and nodded to everything that Yukari said.

However, while her speech had become somewhat passive, Yukari hogging all the dialogue, Minamo herself was hardly that.

She gave a slight look over to her companion from the corner of her eye, watching her for a second as she prattled on, just observing her.

Just watching, waiting...

...and then, as casually as possible, placed a hand around one of the woman's wrists.

Yukari didn't notice the grip.

Minamo held it for the better part of a minute, gradually letting go of it as the line moved along.

* * *

A dark, ultramarine sky was now above them as both women finally made their way out of the park, Yukari tossing her hands up in celebration as their Magical Land adventure came to a close, a bag of souvenirs flailing from a hand. "Damn..._that was fuckin' amazin'!_ They didn't have that light show and fireworks stuff back in the day, huh? And damn, I love all the other new shit they put in, too! Too many sissy games in the arcades now, though. Hey, Nyamo, let's go again tomorrow!"

Minamo smiled back at her politely, her expression a bit weary as she felt the fatigue of having had to keep Yukari in check all day. "...maybe we'll go again next year, ok?"

"Aww..." Yukari grinned at her with cheer. "Yeah, I was just kiddin', anyway. Think I'd spoil it for myself if I kept goin' all the time."

With a chuckle, Minamo navigated their way through the rows of cars in the parking lot. "Yeah, too much of a good thing can be bad sometimes. But...you know, it's sort of funny that you mention that. I mean, I've been here a few times, but, I don't think I enjoyed it as much back then as I did today. It's like the older I get, then the more I love this place..."

"It's 'cause we can be what we really are here."

"...I guess that's true."

"Oh, umm, by the way..." Yukari looked away a bit awkwardly. "...thanks again fer' takin' me out here, Nyamo. I wasn't expectin' somethin' like this to happen to me today...you know, goin' out to Magical Land for my birthday. So...yeah...um, thanks..."

She smiled warmly, greatly appreciative of Yukari's kind words. "Don't mention it. I'm just glad that you had a great time today! But, I think you're thanking me a bit too soon, though..."

Her friend looked over at her with confusion. "What?"

"...Yukari...are you up for one more stop tonight?"

"Uh, maybe. Where at?"

"...it's a surprise. But you'll like it. Trust me."

Yukari continued to stare at her companion with puzzlement as they neared Minamo's vehicle, going around the side of it to get into the passenger seat. "Well, ok, sure. I'm game fer' whatever!"

She put on another hearty smile as she unlocked the doors, the pair settling themselves down inside, Minamo getting the car into motion once they were.

The traffic on the lot was somewhat thick, a good portion of the crowds now leaving at the same that they were, the nighttime festivities of the park now finished. But eventually, after about a quarter of an hour waiting for their turn to leave, Yukari yelling out the car window at anyone who tried to cut in front of them throughout it all, they finally found themselves back on the open road.

A nearly-full moon watched over them as Minamo did a circle around the vast area of the theme park, taking a road to a more elevated part of the surrounding land, a variety of well-maintained forests now around them.

"...this looks kinda' famliiar."

Minamo chuckled.

Yukari raised an eyebrow at her, the lights of the dashboard gently highlighting her face in the dark cabin. "What's so funny?"

She kept her eyes ahead, pulling off onto a thin road that veered along the edge of a wall of trees. "I'm just surprised that you don't completely remember this place. Remember when we went to Magical Land back in high school? It was your idea to come up to this park after we went."

The woman scrunched her brow together, thinking hard. "...yeah? Hmm." She kept her stare to the outside of her passenger window, taking in the stone-laden paths that were now becoming visible in the forest, lanterns illuminating both them and the few sparse bridges and buildings that were placed here and there. "...I think I remember now. For...oh, when we graduated, right?"

"That's right! We came here with the others and just wandered around for awhile."

Yukari kept quiet as Minamo finally brought the car to a stop, a few other vehicles sitting around them. "Ok...yeah, I do remember now. I don't think there was a parkin' lot here before, though."

"You're right. It wasn't as developed as it is now. We had to walk from the train station before." She got out through the driver door, pressing the trunk button on her car keys. "The back's open. Can you get what's in it?"

"Uh, ok." Yukari got out as well, made her way around the vehicle, and then lifted the trunk up. "...damn, you had an ice chest back here all day?"

"Yep! Don't worry. It's a really good cooler, so the ice inside should still be fine."

Yukari pulled the item from out of the car, setting it down on the ground. "Yeah? Well, let's see what you brought here the-" She abruptly lost track of what she was saying as she opened the lid of the cooler, a gigantic grin now splitting her face apart. _"Beer! And the good stuff, too!"_

Minamo put a finger over her lips. "_Shh!_ Don't yell that out loud. They don't allow alcohol here, so we need to be a little discreet." She pointed down one of the paths that led into the forest. "Bring it this way. Be quiet, too!"

Her companion followed her, smiling stupidly with the treasure that was in her hands, and then looked at her friend in wonder, whispering to her. "Are we seriously gonna' drink here? Man, somethin' is totally up with yo-"

_*thud*_

The cooler dropped from her hands, Yukari completely taken by surprise at the scene that suddenly appeared before her, the two of them now standing in a clearing at the edge of a hill. "...whoa."

In front of them, laid out like a bright, electric quilt in the night, was the entirety of the theme park and surrounding city. The contours of the buildings, roads, and rides were all illuminated by the sparkling lights that adorned them, all of it shining wonderfully beneath a blanket of stars in the sky, of which had become so much more visible from their heightened viewpoint.

Minamo looked at her friend. "This is where we all came up to before, remember? You were the one who discovered it. And then we sat there..." She pointed behind her, some stone benches and tables patiently waiting for someone to make use of them.

The woman was lost for a moment in the dazzling sight before her. "...I found this place? Hot damn, I'm good." She looked towards the area that her friend was referring to. "...yeah, I remember sittin' there. Man, can't believe those ol' slabs are still there..."

Minamo motioned over, and the two of them made their way to one of the tables, her friend moving the ice chest along with them. "They really do a great job in keeping this place neat, and it's a great view from up here too, right? So, you know, I thought that...it'd make a nice place to just relax after Magical Land."

Yukari plopped herself down onto one end of the provided bench, holding her response for a moment as she enjoyed another glimpse of the brilliant cityscape before her. "Yeah, it's pretty cool. Glad that you remembered this place." She took two beer cans out from the chest, passing one to her friend, and then pulled up the tab on her own drink. She took a long, slow chug from it, her night now truly beginning. "_...man, this is awesome!_ Damn, Nyamo, when the hell did you get so fuckin' cool?"

She smiled, chuckling with some shyness. "Did I...do good?"

"You bet your ass you did! I mean...gettin' tanked in a forest after Magical Land on my birthday. I wouldn't have figured you to set up somethin' like this."

Minamo placed a hand on the woman's shoulder, pushing her a bit. "Hey, give me a little credit here, ok? You know I like to have some good times like this as well."

Yukari laughed. "Yeah, I guess so. I just...well, I'm kinda' surprised you'd wanna' do somethin' like this, 'cause it just don't seem like you. Like, ya' know, figured you wouldn't go breakin' rules and shit by bringin' beer up here."

"...do you...think that's a strange thing for me to do?"

"Huh? Nah, not strange, just..." She snickered. "Don't take this wrong way or nothin'. I just...I dunno', you seem kinda' different today. Like, you're not anal." Another sip from her can. "You better stay like this."

Minamo let the soft sounds of the forest behind them, the faint din of the city, serve as her response to Yukari's wish.

After a short while of silence, the both of them simply enjoying themselves with the scenery that was laid out before them, Yukari finally broke it apart, her voice slightly wavering as she began to become somewhat soused. "Say...Nyamo. This kinda'...place at night, yeah, we should have ourselves some philosophical talkies'."

She looked over to her friend. "Why's that?"

"I dunno'. It's night. We're in a forest. So, it's gotta' happen, then, ya' know? Like, that's what they always do on TV: they talk about death and stuff at times like this."

"...ah. You mean...as in what happens after we die?"

"Yep!"

Minamo crooked her head. "...I don't think we've ever really talked about a subject like that before. Well...ok. So, then, umm...what do you think happens when we pass away, then? Like...do you think there's some sort of afterlife?"

"Oh yeah, totally!" Yukari burped, swishing around the contents of her can as she determined how much was left. "See, Nyamo, let me explain how it works. When you bite the dust, you get yer' place in the army of the gods, right? But that's only if yer' chosen. It's all about bein' chosen, and then about fightin' demons and savin' the heavens and shit like that. That's what it's all about."

She chuckled. "Really. And, how do you know all this...?"

"'cause it makes sense."

"...riiight. Ok, so...let's say that you _are_ right. So, how do we get 'chosen', then?"

"Good deeds. Duh."

Minamo gave her a wry look. "And you've done plenty of those, right?"

"Hey, I'm a teacher, ain't I? Anyway..." Yukari set her can on the table and then put up her arms, her hands and fingers spread to the sky as she looked up. "I got it all figured out for when I do get picked. First thing I'd need when I get there is a cool ride, you know, to strut my stuff and get some bonus points with the angels. I figure they must have dragons and stuff in the afterlife, right? So that's what I'd want."

"...they would?"

"Well, yeah. If heaven ain't lame, they would. Anyway, that'd be what I'd ride around on. And it'll be a flyin' dragon too, not some cheap ground lizard. Oh, and I'd have a lance."

"...so...what if they _don't_ have dragons?"

"Umm, they better. But, ok, let's say that they don't. They'd probably have somethin' else cool up there too, then. Like, I could ride a unicorn or somethin'. A flyin' one, I mean." Her eyes suddenly lit up. "Nyamo! What if you could combine both of 'em? Like a half-dragon, half-unicorn thing?"

Minamo considered it. "...a 'unigon'...?"

A quite noticeable thrill of excitement went through Yukari then, an epiphany sparking her to life. "_Unigon!_ _That's awesome_! Damn, that's what I want! A unigon!" She began to cackle incessantly, greatly overjoyed at the prospect. "Which one would be the head and which one would be the butt, though? Hmm. I guess it's about how you breed 'em. A unicorn with a dragon's head would look kinda' dumb though, I think. Like the head would be as big as the body. Well, I dunno' how big a real dragon is, though..."

Minamo couldn't help but laugh now. "Yukari...do you _really_ believe all this stuff that you're telling me? You seem pretty serious about it."

Her friend smiled foolishly. "Eh, I dunno'. I'm just messin' around. But it would pretty cool if it was true, right? But, yeah, personally, I don't care if there's somethin' more after all this or not." She rested back against the table. "...so, whadda' you think?"

"About what?"

"About what happens when we kick the bucket."

"Oh." She looked down at the ground, shrugging. "I don't know. I never really thought about it before. I guess I don't particularly care either. But...you know, my dad used to talk to me a little about it when I was young. He said things just go around like the seasons, you know?"

"Huh? What's that mean?

She chuckled. "I don't know. I never really asked him about it. But...I guess I like the expression, though. Whatever it means...I mean, it just sounds nice, right?"

Yukari gave her a small look of confusion, of which quickly vanished after another long taste of her beer. "Yeah, that sounds pretty cool. I like it."

Minamo smiled.

"...but, yeah, unigons." She placed her now-empty can down on the table, taking another out of the ice chest as she began to make work of it as well. "If the head of it was a unicorn's, then would it breath fire still?"

Yukari went on with her discussions about the anatomical conundrums of her dream steed, Minamo partaking in the banter whenever she could, drinking more from the woman's imagination than that of the cold beverage in her hand.

* * *

The night grew older.

"_Yeah, dat's the shit!_" Yukari slammed down another finished can upon the bench, and then blindly reached into the ice chest. "I need...I needsh' reinfoshments'...!"

Minamo put a hand on her friend's arm, holding it. "...take it easy for now. Don't throw up in a place like this, alright? And please, keep it down. There are other people around here, remember?"

Yukari laughed again. "I'm not gonna' puke, Nyshamo'. Geesh', I only had...whatever ish' after four, beersh'."

She rested the plastered woman back against the table's edge. "Right, but you're a lightweight. Just relax, ok? I took you to Magical Land today, so please, at least listen to me because of that."

"Ah..." Yukari frowned comically, her eyes struggling to stay open. "...finesh'."

"Thanks." Minamo leaned back against the table as well, allowing a few minutes to pass, and then peeked over at her drinking partner. "...you're ok, right? Are you going to fall asleep?"

Yukari stared at the sky stupidly. "Now dat' you menshion' it...yesh'."

"...do...you want to lay down?"

"Yesh', I do. At the inn. Where ish' da' inn...?"

Minamo chuckled. "Ah...it's right here." She put a hand on the bench. "You can...lay your head here too, if you want." She patted her lap, the keys in her jeans' pockets jingling.

The woman looked over at her, grinning. "Ah, a fine idea, innkeepah'." Yukari dropped like a rock, placing her head onto Minamo's thighs as she spread her body out upon the stone bench. "Put the room on Nyshamo's tabsh'."

"...of course." Minamo adjusted herself to become a bit more comfortable as she sat, and then, lightly placed a hand on Yukari's shoulder. "...are you comfy?"

Yukari took in a deep, tired breath. "Yeah."

Minamo kept silent for a bit, watching the cityscape in the meanwhile as the woman relaxed. "...it really is a wonderful view from here."

"Yeppers'. Nish' ta' look at...at night."

She let another small amount of time pass. "...Yukari, are you awake enough to talk about something for a bit?"

Yukari mumbled groggily as she continued to lay. "I alwaysh' am. I never sleepsh'."

"...ok. So...do you remember the conversation that we had the other day? When I told you about that girl in my class who confessed to me?"

"Hmm, on whatsh' day? Dere's..." She began to count her fingers. "...dere's sevensh' of 'em."

"It was after graduation day, on Saturday."

Yukari gave her a sagely nod when she finally recalled the dialogue in question, her hair and head rubbing against Minamo's jeans. "Oh, yesh'. Back whensh' I wush' an Englesh' teacher. Those wersh' some good timesh'..."

"...you still are an English teacher."

An enormous wave of horror washed over Yukari's face.

"...but you remember, right?"

Yukari recovered herself, nodding heartily. "Oh, yesh', yesh'. She had da' hotsh' fer' you."

"...right, and, you said that it made sense that she might like me. You said that it was because I was attractive."

"Mmm, think' I did do that, I did."

"...what do you think is attractive about how I look, Yukari?"

Yukari scratched her face. "Umm, cush' you looksh' like a hot dood, I guesh'. I think. Short' of..."

"What do you mean by 'sort of'?"

"I dunno'. Shorta', maybe. Kinda'." Yukari began to laugh. "Shit! Damnsh'. I don't think I've evah' toldsh' you dish'. Whensh' I shaw' you fhirst' time back in high schoolsh', I totally thoughts' dat' you were a guy' in a skirtsh'."

Minamo gave her a baffled look. "R-really...?"

"Yeah! Dontsh' take dath' da' wrong waysh', dough'._ Don't getsh' madsh' at me! Ish' my birthdaysh'!" _She pointed a thumb out at her self. "_You h__ersh' dat, world?_ I'm stillsh' alivesh'! _Yukari livesh', and Yukari remembersh' what you didsh' to her! I'll have yoush' assh' soon...!"_

She let Yukari get some of her pent up energy out, waiting a bit before she calmed down, the woman huffing and puffing in exhaustion now. "...anyway...anyway, um, no, I don't mind you saying that. But, Yukari...can you explain to me what you mean by saying 'sort of'?"

"Ohhhh I'msh' tired...oh, huh? Umm, oh. Yeah, I dunno'. You'sh looks like a guysh' to me, but then you don't, too. Ish' alwaysh' perplexededed' meesh', to be honesht'."

"...what perplexed you?"

"Ish' weird! Yoush' a lady, but you looksh' like a hotsh' guy. Or maybsh' hotsh' guysh' look like you? I dunno'! _But!_" She twirled a hand around in the air. "It confooshed' me cush'... aresh' you a hot guysh' or hot girlsh'? You knowsh' what I'm saying?"

"...can I ask you a question, then?"

Yukari pointed a finger straight at her. "_Yesh'!_ Yesh', you may, innkeepah'."

"Do you like how I look?"

"Oh, sho'."

"How I mean that is, do you...do you find me attractive?"

"Yeah."

"...have you always thought that? I mean...you've always thought...that I looked 'hot', right?"

"Welsh', I don't think yoush' ever changed your look, besidsh' those things." She tugged on one of Minamo's long ear bangs, giggling like an idiot as she did. "So yeah, I guesh' so. That in between guy-girlsh' thing is shexy'."

"You said that the other day too. I don't get what you mean by 'guy-girl thing'."

"Likesh' how you look like both. Or neither. Or somethin'. Ish' jush' hot. I dunno'. Fuchsh', dish' is like a damn test I'm takin' here."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to bug you about it so much. But...I have...one more question, then, if it's ok to ask..."

Yukari half-frowned. "Eh, go fer' it. Everyone seemsh' to needsh' to know what I thinksh', anywaysh'. Can't blamesh' you."

"...so, you say...that I've always sort of looked like both a guy and a girl, right?"

"Ayup'. Or not either. I think."

"Well, ok. But, you think I look attractive still, right?"

"Yeah."

"So...I was just curious, then. You know...if you think that, then let's say...that between myself and a guy, who do you think looks better?"

The woman took her time in answering. "Huh?"

"I'm just asking...in your opinion, if...you think that I'm more attractive than a man."

Her friend looked up at her strangely, her forehead wrinkling with thought, and then set her stare back towards the city. "Oh, yeah, totally."

* * *

"...Yukari? Are you awake...?"

Minamo whispered her words cautiously, not wanting to disturb Yukari if she actually was asleep, her head still resting on her lap as they continued to sit in the fringes of the small park.

"Yukari...?"

No response came from the woman, her only sign of life being that of her very slight snoring, her body gently moving up and down with her breaths.

She just watched her rest for a few minutes then, her friend outlined in the night by a mix of moonlight, distant city light, and the orange-yellow glow of the lanterns that stood behind them. It was a very late hour now, and while Yukari normally would have been wide awake at this time, she had obviously succumbed to the effects of all the beer that she had just consumed.

"...Yukari..."

Not a single peep, and she was now assured that her friend really was down for the count.

Again, Minamo let time slip by as she just simply sat there, watching the woman in as much silence as the surrounding insects in the area would allow her. A handful of minutes passed away then without incident, and then another minute on top of that, and then another...

...and another...

...and another...

...and another...

...and another...

...and...

Minamo finally became animated, lifting a hand up.

Slowly, so very slowly, she set her fingers down with care upon the side of Yukari's face.

Then, she waited again, observing, looking for a reaction, breathing in relief as none came.

She resumed the act then, and as gently, as quietly as she could, she began to feel the woman's skin, her hand absorbing everything about it. It wasn't overly soft, like someone who spent excess amounts of time catering to it, nor was it dry or coarse in any such way. To her touch, it just felt so naturally right, just as it always did, as if there were the slickest sheet of velvet wrapped around her body, Minamo deeming it so utterly perfect and mature.

The whole of her hand caressed Yukari's face then, just feeling it, delicately massaging it as she gave into its wonderful sensation. Loose strands of the woman's hair were tossed over it all, so Minamo attended to those as well, outlining the woman's features with her fingers as she did, exploring every single one with the utmost of care.

_...how many times have I seen your face, or touched you? It's so funny, because now it's like...I'm doing both for the first time..._

It went on, Minamo completely engrossed in what she was doing, her obsession laying right there in her lap, set to be adored and treasured by her, and she wouldn't waste a single moment of this opportunity in order to do so.

Because, she had earned this.

This was her reward, her reward for the bravery that she had put on today.

And so now, Minamo would fully reap it all in, would completely harvest the bounty that she had won here today, as she reveled in the glory of her successful experiment.

_...I still can't believe it._

Her hand shuddered, ecstasy jolting it.

_...not even once! She didn't care once at all today! I can't...oh my gosh, I still can't believe it. _

All that had transpired this day raced through Minamo's head then, her mind picking apart every single moment, every subtle detail, of the test that she had conducted with Yukari. While the primary reason for being with her today had been because of her birthday, Minamo had also used the occasion as a gauge of sorts, the first of many such benchmarks that she had planned for the coming weeks.

The results from what had been measured today, however, had already far exceeded her expectations.

During all the rides that they had gone on earlier, at all the shows and parades and events that they had watched together at Magical Land, Minamo had, in some fashion or another, performed subtle to outright acts of intimacy with the woman of her desires. Whether it was just simply holding Yukari's arm during a walk to another area of the theme park, or clinging onto her during a turbulent roller coaster, she had attempted to step over bounds that she had previously left alone. It wasn't as if it was the first time in her life that she had ever touched Yukari, but the ways that she had done so on this day had been more like engaging with a lover than that of a friend.

And the reason that she had done all of that, had undertaken those risks, was to see what Yukari thought of it all. During their long history together, they had never really acted overly affectionately with one another, in terms of physical contact, and so Minamo had decided that she needed to know what would happen if they did. Yukari was the type of person who always valued her personal space, but as Minamo had fully learned today, there was one individual that she would always let through those stalwart defenses.

Her other hand began to rub Yukari's shoulder, feeling the cloth of her long-sleeve top.

_...I forgot...that I'm the only one. I'm the only one...who can ever do things like this with you. And now...maybe...maybe I know why..._

Minamo knew that she had cheated somewhat, on this final part of the test. She had planned this, for Yukari to lose her usual self-awareness after a few rounds of drinking, because she needed to know why. The reason for why she had always been so tolerant and caring to her, despite their incessant fighting and old rivalry, despite her plethora of narcissistic tendencies...

And the answer that Minamo had heard from her, of what she had now also been allowed to do with the woman, filled her with so much incredible glee.

_That's what it is. That's what it has to be. She's attracted to me. I know it. There's no reason...anyone would say something like that...drunk or not..._

With great care, Minamo placed a hand over one of Yukari's own. She gently caressed it, rubbing the bare part of her arm now as she went on with her enjoyment. In the back of her mind, there was some guilt over what she was now doing, treating the woman in such a way while she was sleeping, Minamo the culprit behind her intoxication. But that dissuading voice was drowned out by the admittance, the verification of what she now fully believed, of what she had always secretly hoped was real.

_'...totally...'_

She bit her lips with her teeth, keeping them together to stop herself from giggling with joy as it rang in her ears over and over again. Yukari had said it, had actually said that she was more attractive than any guy out there, and the moment Minamo had heard that, she had felt the gates swing wide open inside of her heart. It was real. This woman thought of her as more than just a friend, she was sure of it now. And even though Yukari wasn't sober, the fact that she had chosen to lay down upon her gave Minamo even more evidence for her case, knowing that Yukari was just simply giving into her natural inclinations, without her usual ego to get in the way of them.

And upon realizing that, she felt the warmth flow through her so easily now, the raging deluge that she had held back all day long until this very moment. There was no more fear, no more terrible onus damming the current, as had always happened in the past whenever she got too close to Yukari emotionally. No, none of that was present in her anymore, because those were the staples of the old, weak Minamo, the shell of her real self.

That was gone now, Yukari having removed it for her with her answer.

She hadn't misheard her. It was real. That was the reason, the concrete, definite reason, for why Yukari Tanizaki had stuck with her all these years, and now, Minamo would monopolize on it.

Because this is what she wanted.

This was all Minamo Kurosawa wanted, had ever really wanted. To just be with this gorgeous woman for the rest of her life, to be the closest one to her, as she listened to her funny jokes, her crazy imagination, while she just held her all the while

And Yukari would keep complimenting her, just as she had done today. She would keep saying how attractive she was, how competent, how talented, how amazing she was, over and over again, feeding Minamo's cravings.

That's how it would be.

The two of them, together in a relationship, while Minamo basked in her admiration and affection.

_...all mine...that's right. You're mine...I know it now. I know it. What a stupid fool I've been. What a stupid, idiotic fool I've been all these years. What was I so scared of? Rejection? How stupid of me. I should have known. I should have just told you. Then I wouldn't have had to hid...I wouldn't have had to hid anything..._

Just a little more time. Just a little more time to build things up properly. That's what she needed now. She would do this right. She would make sure everything was perfect, so that Yukari couldn't possibly refuse her when the time came.

She grinned wildly, her dreams and urges taking full control of her.

_...next week. Or the weekend after that? Let me think. Just let me think. I'll tell you...I'll you everything. I promise. And then...we'll be together. We'll actually be together...just like how I know you want us to be. Just give me a little more time. Just a little more time...to make sure everything's ok. But...but for now..._

Minamo leaned her head down slowly, her mouth right over Yukari's ear.

_...let me...let me just...enjoy this.._._for a little while._

Her lips brushed against it, the tip of her tongue lightly gracing it, before she gave it the faintest of kisses.

_...just for now._

She nuzzled the side of the woman's face with her nose then, taking in that fruity scent that was always such a strong part of her. As carefully as she could, doing her best not to agitate Yukari from her slumber, she then rubbed her forehead against her cheek, surrendering to the overwhelming happiness that was now within her.

Every part of Minamo shivered in delight, her formerly-chained fantasies being able to finally run with freedom for the first time in her life.

_Not too much. It's not fair. Not too much for now...just wait. Just wait, Minamo...just wait a little longer._

With a dreamy sigh, she lifted her head up, maneuvering her mouth back over the woman's ear. After another few nibbles, another sample of the woman's taste, she decided that it was enough for now.

She whispered softly, her pounding heart beginning to lose its cadence.

"...I love you."


	40. Part I Chapter 40

**Author's Notes**

Hey!

Pic for this chapter! I've moved all of them to my new art site now. The updated URL is in my profile (whenever I enter URL's right in here, FF pretty much destroys them.)

Anyway, thanks for reading as always!

~mhazaru

(Yes, I changed my nick XD)

* * *

Part I

Chapter Forty

_It's so funny._

_You piss me off all the damn time, but yet, I still love you._

_I mean, I'm still in love with you. That's what I meant..._

Minamo's fingers went over Yukari's nose so very gently, outlining the woman's facial features as blades of sunlight slowly crept across them, morning now coming through the window blinds.

_...but I guess that's what love is. __When you can still make me laugh, and make me so happy, even when you're so...idiotic..._

A small beep went off from her wrist watch, a sound that caused her to scowl.

_...just a few more minutes. We can be late again. It's summer, after all._

Minamo nodded. It made good sense to her. There were no classes in session yet, the students still enjoying their summer vacations, so the only things that the teachers and staff had to work on were their own personal projects and itineraries. Given that fact, then, being a little late didn't really make much of a difference, meaning that Minamo could spend another ten or so minutes by Yukari's bedside, without having to wake her up to get ready.

_...I'm sorry. I know I've been doing this every morning for awhile now, but...but I just need to..._

Another gentle rub up and down one of Yukari's arm, another few minutes spent gazing at her as she lazily slept.

_In a few days. Just a few more days, and I promise I'll tell you then. So just...just let me have this for now..._

Eventually, after she had soaked in enough of the feel and soul of the woman before her, Minamo finally relaxed herself on the carpet. Her head craned backwards, looking up to the ceiling as a gigantic smile crossed her face, those familiar pains in her chest numbed for yet another day.

_I wish...I wish I had figured this out a long time ago._

Her aching heart settled down, a welcome experience that she had consistently been blessed with for over the course of the last few weeks, ever since that wonderful day at Magical Land had taken place. Just as it had happened at the end of it all, under a starry night sky, the agony that she had suffered with for so long just simply vanished within a single intimate moment with Yukari now.

_If only I had been brave enough to enjoy all of this in the past, whenever I was near you, or holding you, or even just seeing you..._

Minamo stifled a giggle, her utter happiness wanting to victoriously leap out from her as she reveled in how well things had been going as of late. It was clockwork now, plain and simple: if her craving for her love came to torment her, then simply becoming overly affectionate with Yukari sealed it all away. Clinging to her arm whenever she got a chance to, leaning against her, feeling and connecting with her beyond how she normally did, all of it was part of the antidote that Minamo had always been much too afraid to obtain before, but now, consumed thoroughly.

_And why I was afraid? I'm so stupid...I'm an idiot._

Yukari had expectantly taken some notice of her friend's new set of behaviors, but for the most part, she hadn't seemed to really mind any of it. There was the odd comment here and there about how bubbly Minamo's personality had gotten lately, Yukari wondering if her coworker had begun to dabble in the world of drugs, but those instances had just been the woman's usual humor at play. Outside of that, she had easily gone along with it all, acting as casually towards her as she always had.

_...so, it has to be true, then. She..._

Another shiver of real delight shot through her, just the mere thought of it making her dizzy with joy.

_...she really must think of me differently from everyone else!_

It was a safe conclusion for Minamo to make now, after all of the experiments, examinations, and dissections of her old friend's reactions towards her new identity. Yukari undoubtedly thought of her as more than a mere 'best friend', because even the closest of companions wouldn't feel comfortable with the recent actions that Minamo had been engaging in with her.

_There is something more. I know it. I know it! And soon...very soon..._

She already had everything planned out for the big occasion, had known exactly what she wanted to say for almost a month now. This coming Sunday, Minamo would take her love out for dinner, drive them both back to her apartment for some drinks and relaxation, and then...talk.

Talk about the two of them, the truth about herself, and then, their future together.

_...I can't wait! But...I guess I can live with this, for now, though..._

Minamo sat back up, setting herself next to the bed again as her hand went to one of Yukari's, gently caressing it, her fantasies taking off again. Although most of her recent romantic mannerisms had been through means that her love had been aware of, there were still instances of it that she would never find out about. Whenever Yukari had a bit too much to drink, whenever she was asleep as she now was, Minamo would go past personal boundaries that weren't regularly available for her to transcend, holding and treating her like a real lover. And while her conscience did feel a bit heavy by hiding these things from Yukari, she deemed her actions to be quite justifiable.

_If it's me doing it, then it's fine. I'm the only one allowed to do this to her anyway...so, it's fine..._

She nodded to herself, being cautious with her tender conduct as she continued to indulge her hunger.

_We'll go to work soon. Just sleep for now, Yukari. It's fine._

Another tight press of her hand over the other woman's, and then, Minamo slid her grasp up Yukari's arm, massaging it gently as she got lost in the feeling of it all.

_It's ok. It's just me doing it, so it's ok. Besides...it helps me. You're helping me stay calm, Yukari. So it's ok, right?_

_...I mean...you're mine, remember? So, really, it's...it's my right to do things like this to you..._

The pure sensation of bliss, the raw warmth that ran through her veins now, all of it grew rapidly in abundance. In her mind, she imagined the reality of their future together, of them happily and openly loving each other, living together, existing...

...existing...

_...together. Oh...that would be so wonderful. It will be wonderful! And...you'll love me everyday..._

_...and you'll keep admitting it to me over and over again. And then you'll tell me how much you love to look..._

...love to look...at...

_...look..._

_...look..._

...look...at...

...what?

_...at me, of course._

Ah, right.

At me.

_Yes!_

I really can't wait.

_It's going to be fantastic._

I'm not scared at all. There's nothing to fear. I just have to tell her, and that will be that.

Then we'll really be together...finally.

_...yeah._

Yukari...she'll finally see me in the way that she should be seeing me.

_That she has been seeing me, of course._

Right.

And then...

_...and then..._

...everything will finally be like how I want it to be.

How it should be.

So I finally...

...so I finally won't have to worry about this stupid, damn pain anymore.

* * *

As I waited in my car, I went about cleaning up a bit of clutter that was caught between the seats. I don't know, I just can't stand when things are a little messy, or when they're out of order. Everyone always pokes fun of me because of those habits of mine, but that's just the way that I am, so I can't help it. I'm a neat freak! However, I do always notice that when I'm a bit nervous or anxious, that I start nitpicking about my surroundings more than usual...

_I guess I'm nervous right now?_

I looked at the clock on my radio. A handful of minutes had already passed by since I had first parked outside of her house. Yukari knew I was here, I just talked to her on the phone, but that woman always takes _forever_ to get ready to go out. Well, 'getting ready' isn't quite the right term for it, I suppose. It's more like...whenever she 'chooses to leave her bed'. Yeah, that sounds more appropriate.

_...come on..._

Ugh, get out here already! It's so strange. I feel like I'm usually a very patient person, but there's just been this edge to me today. It's hard to describe. I mean...to some degree, I can understand it. I'm going to finally tell her that I'm a lesbian today, and that I want to go out with her. So, of course I'm jittery. I've been hiding this for so long...it's natural to feel like this. No one would blame me.

But still, I thought I'd feel a little more composed about all of this. I've rehearsed what I'm going to say at least a hundred times so far, and I haven't been as agitated with my feelings about her as of late...

_Ha! _

What am I saying?

Me, of all people, should understand what's going on here. I'm an athlete...I know that's it's a completely different experience to practice for an event, versus actually participating in the real thing...

It's alright, though. All this apprehension will be in the past once the moment in question is over.

I mean...once...once we're together, I mean...

_Oh, I love this smile._

The smile that just came on my face...

...it's always so great to feel.

This smile that comes, whenever I think about Yukari becoming my girlfriend.

_*thump*_

_*__thump*_

_*thump*_

Whoa!

That totally scared me.

I was off in my own world and hadn't even realized that Yukari had walked up to the car, until she just knocked on the window.

I unlocked the door for her, and then had to suppress a small gasp as the feeling blitzed me again, the tingling sensation of having her right beside me, my love sitting down in the passenger seat. Every time now, it's just like this...like I'm meeting an attractive blind date for the very first time, even though I've known Yukari for years and years.

It's pins and needles whenever I look at her now, whenever I talk to her, or hear her laugh...

"So, what we doin' tonight?"

"I thought we'd get some foreign food, like...you've had 'pasta' before, right? They have this nice place near the business center that we could go try out."

She smiled. "Sure. Sounds good to me."

I nodded happily. Oh...I'm so anxious to just get this confession out from me already. But...but not here! Just a few hours more, Minamo. Then! Then it's time!

"Alright! Oh, did you bring along that movie that you wanted to watch?"

Yukari didn't answer me. She just simply pulled up a DVD case from the floor of the car, waving it at me. I hadn't even seen her toss it down there.

"Cool...ok, let's go, then."

I turned the ignition on, the car getting into gear as we got on our way. It would take about fifteen minutes to arrive at the downtown area where the restaurant was, and maybe another ten or so minutes spent walking there, once we found a lot to park in, so...maybe a half hour to reach there in all?

Yeah, that sounds about right, especially since traffic is light on Sunday evening. You see, I always estimate travel times in my head whenever Yukari is with me, because she always has trouble keeping her appetite, and hence, her temper, in check, if we took too long in getting to our destination. So, figuring out our ETA beforehand allows me to plan things out a bit better for my sanity's sake.

And, as I predicted, there really wasn't much traffic on the roads today.

* * *

What a wonderful dinner that was! But, oh, man...I think I ate way too much, though. I couldn't help it. I just totally let go when they put our plates down in front of us. The only other time I ever pig out like that is when I'm famished after a swim or a game. I wonder why I was so hungry? Maybe I was just trying to settle my nerves with food, because I was getting pretty antsy during it all. Yukari and I had a great conversation in the restaurant, and she cracked me up like she always did, but the rest of the night to come was just on my mind so much...

...but...it was still a fantastic evening out. And...geez, I hope she didn't notice, but...I was getting constantly flustered by just looking at her, because...

_...because she's so..._

...I still have trouble even just thinking it:

Because she's _so_ hot!

She's fire! That's what she is.

Fire, fire, fire, fire...

Oh, we're home.

"Unlock the door already, would ya'?

My eyes were wide open, yet it felt like I was almost asleep...like I was dreaming. That's been happening to me a lot lately. I zone out and just forget everything.

"S-sorry!"

I rustled through my keys, found the right one, and then opened the door to my apartment.

We stepped inside. After tossing off our shoes, we quickly began to get the remainder of our night underway. To Yukari's delight, I pulled a case of beers out of the fridge, while she in turn popped her DVD into my disc player. It was some mystery movie that I had never heard about, an obscure little title that only someone like Yukari would ever really know of or care for.

She started playing it as I dimmed the apartment lights. Yukari always needed it to be dark whenever she wanted to watch a movie, for the ambiance and what not. In any case, we settled down in front of the couch and made ourselves comfortable on the carpet, something of which I think I did a bit awkwardly. The nerves are really starting to get to me now. I was just thinking that...well, while I feel that I'm ready with what I want to say to her, I never really thought much about the actual timing. Should I tell her during the movie? Hmm...maybe I could pause it mid way, and just say...that I have something to tell her? Would that be too out of the blue?

Wait, hold on. Who am I kidding? This whole thing is out of the blue! I'm going to tell her that I'm in love with her, after almost sixteen years of knowing her...

"_Yesssss_! That dude totally deserved to be shot. Man, I hope he kicks the bucket."

Dude? Oh. Right. The movie. I hadn't really been watching it at all. How far are we into it? Time is really flying...ah, I see. One of the side characters got shot. Geez...why does she always laugh at things like that? I think that was one of the good guys, too.

Ah well...at least she's in a good mood, it seems. She's been like that most of the day. Well, really any day when I'm treating her out...

Hmm, I guess I should wait to talk to her. She seems to be really getting into the story now. I don't think she'd hear me...

I'll...I'll just wait until the movie's done. I don't want to bother her right now. Yeah. Just a little more time...

* * *

"That was garbage. I saw that endin' comin' a mile away."

I flipped the source on the television back to my regular set of channels, the movie now done and over with, and then got up to turn the lights back on. "Yeah...it was a little predictable. The acting was ok though, right?"

Yukari looked over at me as she yawned, stretching her arms. "Eh...was ok, I guess. Pfft, this is the last time I let a student recommend me a flick. Those brats got no taste."

I chuckled as I sat back down. Actually, to be honest, I had no idea if the actors were good or not. I barely watched the thing. "...well, it was nice of you to try their recommendation, at least."

She shrugged then, taking another drink from her beer. How many had she had so far tonight? I think only one, actually. Wow, she's taking it easy.

"Anyway...are you hungry? Do you want a snack?"

She motioned with a hand towards me, and I knew what she wanted. I gave her the remote, and she started searching for something else to watch. "Nah. I'm pretty full. Kinda' tired."

"Ok."

The conversation died down then, along with the atmosphere. The movie was finished, Yukari was in a sort of sedative state now, and me, well...

My hands balled into fists, and my heart wanted to just suddenly leap out from its cavity.

_This is it._

"...h-hey...Yukari."

"What?"

Here we go.

Everything is perfect now.

It was just us together, no one else listening, no one else around, and I had the safety of my apartment around me...an environment that made me feel so comfortable, so very at ease.

And so, now, it was all in place.

I swallowed, doing my best to stay cool. "...um...I need...let's...can we talk...?"

She looked at me strangely then. Ugh, I'm already blowing this, I can tell. "Uh...ok?"

"I...um...y-you know...we've been..."

_...ugh..._

"What's up with you?"

"N-nothing! I'm just...something...I..."

_...spit it out...!_

"...I was...what I was trying to say was, that..."

She drank from her can, just watching me over the rim of it, staring at me like I was crazy.

"...l-let's...make sure...that we look up movies online first next time...before we watch them, ok? Y-you know...a review...so we don't waste our time again. Yeah...?"

A small pause, then Yukari chuckled. "Yeah. Yer' right. Shoulda' done that so we don't have to watch any shit again."

_...damn it!_

_What the hell...?_

Yukari went back to watching television, just in time as well, because my jaw just shivered wildly.

And...am I sweating?

_Argh!_

I don't know what just happened. My confidence...it just suddenly died.

_I blew my chance!_

...I couldn't take the shot.

That was the perfect opportunity! So, what the hell?

What the hell just happened to me?

I was feeling so good about this!

I thought...I thought I was ready for this, then...

...ugh..

...this strange thought just came to me as I was trying to confess, and it threw me off completely.

How do I describe it? It's...I don't know.

Maybe it was more like a feeling. It just felt that...that I should hang on for something instead of telling her.

_Hang on?_

Hang on...or, wait, maybe? Waiting? Yeah...that's what it felt like. Like I should wait, or things would have gotten screwed up.

_But...wait for what?_

Waiting for...

...ugh, I don't know.

I don't know!

I just don't know! What am I waiting for still? Why can't I just tell her? I was so happy and confident around her all this time, when I was...when I was, you know, getting a little...closer to her...

So, why the hell can't I tell her now?

I was ready!

And...and now...

_...I'm running away, again._

My arms folded around my knees, and I think I started to sulk a bit.

I'll...I'll try again.

_ Relax._

Keep calm. Like on the field.

Stay steady.

You can still do this.

* * *

...I don't know how much time went by then.

Was it midnight now? I have no idea. I don't care.

It didn't matter.

Yukari had fallen asleep. I didn't even noticed when it happened. She didn't even drink that much tonight. Maybe two cans? That's way below her regular count, so I guess she was just tired.

But regardless of that, I failed.

I kept hesitating this whole time, kept messing up my chances these last few hours.

Every single time, that feeling came back...and I blew it.

I couldn't tell her.

_About our relationship._

Damn it! What just happened? I was so...so sure of myself...

When will I be able to tell you? Why is...why is this so difficult...? I just wasted this entire night, all the time I spent getting ready for this...

Why can't I do this?

Even...even a child can. My student...my student could do it...

...but I can't.

_I'm pathetic._

All I can do is just sit here...

...on the floor...

...doing nothing. Just...doing nothing.

_What the hell happened?_

This last month...I was so happy. I was living in a dream. I was finally free!

And now, it feels like I'm back in the cage. My chest feels like something's stuck in it. This was my night! My night to change everything. And now...

...no, I'm not going to wake her up to try still. That'd be so rude.

I'll...I'll just try another time. Yeah. Another time. I'll...I'll plan another night...and...th-

I sneered at myself suddenly.

_You're a fool. You're never going to be able to tell her._

...but why? Why can't I?

Why...?

I'm an adult now! I'm an _adult_! I should...be able to do this by now...

But then, why can't I?

I can't...I can't even identify what's keeping me back now. Is it fear? What is this...?

This feeling, like I should...wait...wait for something...?

_But...!_

But the person I love is right next to me, in my apartment, resting against my couch. She's right there! Why should I wait? Why can't I just tell her now?

I just want to tell her...so that...

...so that...

...I can stop being alone.

Because...even if you're...always with me, Yukari...

...I'm still alone.

Until...

_...until I can tell you._

I'm going to be alone forever, aren't I?

With this damn pain in my chest.

It will never go away.

It will never heal, because...because she's always around me, so it keeps tearing back open.

This stupid, damn wound, that keeps gushing...

...I hate it...I hate it so much...

...it's hurting now. It's really, really hurting...

_Then why don't you make it better?_

I can't! I just c-

_No, like how you have been doing. How you've been doing so for a while now._

What? I haven't been doing any-...oh.

Oh!

Wait...no. That...wouldn't be right.

_But you've been doing it anyway._

I lifted myself from where I was sitting, crawling closer to Yukari then, slowly, silently, making very sure as not to rouse her.

_That's right. There you go._

_Remember?_

_You don't really have to tell her anything to feel better. It's ok. She'd understand. _

_Don't worry._

...right.

The smile came back, as I remembered.

I forgot. How silly of me.

I forgot that she's in love with me.

_Idiot!_

So...so doing this is fine. You're helping me cope, Yukari.

_It's fine._

With great caution, I slowly lifted one of Yukari's hands, holding it between my own as she slept. I massaged it then, felt it, her smooth palm, the touch of her fingers intermingled between my own...

_...yes..._

...and almost immediately, I began to feel the pain ebb away. Joy replaced it as I engaged with her, connected with her through our fingertips.

She entered my head then. I saw us. She was holding my hand. We were walking, so peacefully...peacefully walking...together...hand in hand.

...oh, Yukari.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I keep...that I keep having to hide this from you. These things, that I'm doing...

Please just give me this. Don't make me feel guilty.

_It just...it helps me, Yukari._

I'm not a strong...I'm not as strong as everyone thinks I am. I need things like this. I have desires, too.

Don't you understand, Yukari?

It fixes things for a little while...when I touch you. And hold you. And feel as if you're...

...as if you're...

_...you're..._

My eyes suddenly opened wide with realization, a truth slamming into me.

_That's why I still can't express my feelings for you!_

_Of course!_

It's because, when I hold you like this, it's...it's...you're...

..._you're_ the one that's actually touching _me!_

That's it!

_Y__ou're_ the one that's coming out to _me!_ That wants _me!_

That's why...

...that's why you've been holding me every morning, isn't it? That's...that's why...you keep...feeling me...all day...

_That's right._

Because...

...because you're the one...

_...you're the one who's going to confess to me!_

It was so obvious. I'm so blind.

You've been working on telling me that you love me all this time. Of course...of course it would feel wrong, then, for me to take the initiative!

That's why I can't say it!

Because you haven't said it first!

_It's not your fault, Minamo._

What a wonderful epiphany. I feel so much better about my failure now. I needed that answer.

Just like I needed her hand against my face, so Yukari went and put it there for me.

Thank you, Yukari. I needed it there.

That's why you put it there.

And now...you're rubbing it against my cheek. She cupped it against it. It was so nice and warm, and I could feel her admiration of me through it. I could hear her telling me that she was in love with me, as if her hand itself were the words, gently rubbing my face, gently revering me.

_She just has to tell you her real feelings. _

Yes!

You have to tell me these things, Yukari, or how will I find out?

You have to tell me...that you can't manage without me.

And that you love how I look...and you have to tell me that I'm attractive to you, over and over and over again...

And that...and that you're really amazed by me, and everything that I do...

Everything I accomplish...

You love me so much. That's what you want to tell me, isn't it?

That's why...that's why you need to confess to me already.

Please...just do it...

...tell me that you love me more than anything.

And...that you find me perfect...and that you're so proud to be in love with me...

_That's why you have to wait. You have to wait for her to come to you._

What a wonderful feeling this is, when Yukari touches my face like this! She's holding my face so lovingly now. Oh...Yukari...don't stop...please...just keep your hand on me forever. Please...never let this end, Yukari...

I caressed my face into her palm and fingers, and I took in the scent of her body from it. Then, I kissed it. I kissed it! Over and over again. Every single one of her fingers, because, she was letting me.

_Love me!_

My senses were lit! They were blazing! Amazing. _Amazing!_ So incredible...so...so very incredible. Yukari really does love me. That's why she's touching me. She wants me...she really does. She wouldn't just do that to anyone, so...she...

...she...

_...she does love you._

Yukari's arm went back on the carpet. I held it all the way down as she placed it. I didn't want to let go. But it's fine, Yukari. The pain...the heartache, it's gone for the moment. You saved me again.

Every time you touch me like this...you save me. You make the pain go away.

Yes. It's fine if you want to keep things like this for now, Yukari. If you want to just feel my skin with your hand, that's fine. You can confess to me later. As long as you keep touching me like you just did, then I can live. I can wait.

_Yes!_

Yukari, when you come to me, I'll be waiting. I'll wait forever. I swear I will. But until you do, please, just keep using me whenever you need. You can hold me any time you want, like you have been doing. You're so daring to just do things like that to me. But it's ok. Because...because it...

...keeps my heart together.

_From crumbling._

I sat back on the floor then, grinning, just grinning. Even though Yukari hadn't actually confessed yet, she did just verify that she loves me. She only caresses my face and no one elses.

_That's right!_

She only does that to me. Because we're lovers.

And as my lover, only she knows how to make the pain go away.

_...what was that?_

Huh?

What, Yukari?

Oh.

_Oh!_

Of course. Of course I will.

I set myself right next to her again. She just told me that she wanted me to feel her hair. Of course, Yukari. I can do that.

Since she wanted me to, I began to run my fingers through her hair, picking up the wavy strands and dropping them, just playing with them. She really does have amazing hair. It's like a thriving forest...just so full of life.

For a few minutes, I did as Yukari asked. My hand somehow went to her face then, because Yukari wanted it there. It was fine that she wanted that, because I adored the feeling of her skin. Velvet...that's what it is. So nice, and sleek, and...warm...

She's so hot. I can't believe it.

_...warm..._

Ah...I feel like, the temperature...in the apartment...is increasing.

Well, it is summer. A summer night.

_...warm..._

...warm?

Ah.

Yeah.

...they do look warm. Now that I really focus on them.

Oh.

I just leaned in towards her. My face is half a foot away from hers.

_She said she wouldn't mind._

She wants me to find out.

...it's getting humid.

...why isn't the A/C coming on?

Well, I'll check that later.

Right now, I have to do what Yukari wants.

She's my girlfriend, after all.

_Gently...gently..._

I tilted my head, slowly edging myself closer to her. Her mouth was just slightly open, just the perfect amount.

She did that on purpose, so that this would go well.

You're so kind, Yukari.

Oh.

Your breath is warm, too. I feel it on my face.

My body started shaking.

...hmm.

That's peculiar.

I'm burning up inside, but shivering on the outside. How strange.

Whatever.

I closed my eyes. I've never kissed someone on the mouth before.

But, Yukari wants me to.

She wants me to feel how warm her lips are. She wants me to see how it feels to make out with another woman.

_Of course, Yukari._

I'll do that.

Since you want me to.

Ok.

_Ok._

Here...

...my nose is touching hers...

...here, now...

...here we...

...here we g-

* * *

_..e..._

_...o..._

_...t..._

_...ga..._

* * *

I froze, a fraction of space between my mouth and hers.

I couldn't make contact, because...

...because my body just stopped moving. I...

...I suddenly...I suddenly felt...

...like I wanted to vomit.

_My brain is vomiting._

What...?

I heard...

...something...?

Someone...just said...something.

I swear it.

And...

...it...

I'm terrified now.

_I'm terrified._

I heard it.

In my head.

In my bones...I heard...

...I'm...I'm so scared...

...and...I feel...

...no...I can taste...

I can taste it.

I can taste...on my tongue...

...the blood...

...because...

...because...

...I'm the victim.

I'm the body on the floor.

I was murdered.

Blood...

Blood...

...help...

...someone help me...!

It's spilling...

...everywhere!

My blood...my blood...

...blood...

...blood...

...blood...

...

...

...

...bloodbloodbloodbloodbloodbloodbloodbloodbloo-

"Yeah, that's enough of that."

Oh.

I didn't even see that...

...Yukari's eyes had opened.

Hmm.

Why does she look so angr-

_"Agh!"_

She threw me off.

She kicked me off.

I'm on the carpet now. The ceiling...

...it's spinning.

I think I sat up.

Ah, it's flowing out of my mouth.

A red waterfall.

_...it's so warm._

Yukari...she's on her feet. She's looking down at me.

Now she's wiping her hand...on her skirt.

She must have gotten her hand dirty.

You should wash your hand then, Yukari, if it's dirty.

"I thought you were actin' weird lately. What the fuck were you about to do?"

_...me? Is she talking to me?_

"Tell me."

I think my mouth opened. But, I forgot my own language.

And, there's too much blood coming out. So I shouldn't talk.

"So are you a lesbian or what? How long have you been doin' this shit to me?"

_I feel..._

Yukari bit her lip. She was just watching me. What's she looking at?

I'm feeling...ill...

"...yeah, just keep quiet then, you fuckin' liar. You ain't no different. You never were."

She turned around. She went to the entrance way then, and put on her shoes.

Someone told her to wait.

Yukari looked at me then. I'm not sure why. I didn't say anything. But I sort of wish she hadn't looked at me. There was a strange expression on her face. It was an angry face, but something else was mixed with it as well.

It's scary.

"Shut the fuck up. And don't pick me up in the mornin'."

The person who asked her to wait asked her once again. She wanted to explain something to Yukari. Whoever it was, she sounded pretty annoying.

"_Shut up!_"

Ugh, I hope they stop their conversation. My head is pounding, so they're giving me a headache.

I heard the door slam as it closed.

Yukari was gone. I didn't even see her leave.

_Ah..._

I think I know where she's going. She's probably off to tell everyone.

Well, that's fine. I'll just have to stay in here forever, then.

_...ah..._

Oh...I can taste more of it now.

The blood.

The warmth of it.

It's pouring out everywhere.

I'm sitting in my own blood.

...huh?

Oh.

...I'm hearing voices.

I can hear everyone talking about me now.

From outside the door.

Yukari must have told them.

Everyone must know by now.

They hate me.

But they always did. I should have known.

Everyone hates me. I'm not really any good.

I'm a waste.

_It's true._

_..._

Mmm...

...it really is warm.

Yeah. Blood really is warm.

...

You know...

...at the end of it all...

...I really do hate warm things.

...

They make me sick.

* * *

**End of Part I**


	41. Part II Chapter 41

**Author's Notes**

Hi!

Sorry for another long wait. Chapter pic in my profile.

~mhazaru

* * *

Part II

Chapter 41

_One week earlier..._

* * *

The sparkling surface of water always appeared as if a collection of diamonds had been spilled across it, glittering, illusionary treasures that were impossible for her to hold. Of course, that had never stopped her from attempting such a feat before, either. Her earliest memories of swimming, from treading the smallest of pools to taking her first dips in the ocean, consisted of hundreds of fruitless chases to obtain those elusive gems, her laughter accompanying every single one of the attempts.

But, even though those youthful days had long since passed her by, the idea of being able to catch them had never truly left her imagination. Whenever she went swimming, she still toyed around with the concept in the back of her mind, sometimes pretending that she was chasing after them once again as she cut through the water.

On this day, however, she would have to settle for simply viewing those shiny baubles from the sidelines.

She placed the megaphone to her lips.

_"Ok, everyone: Line up!"_

Along one of the edges of the school's Olympic pool, a row of girls positioned themselves in a ready stance. They bent down low to the ground, their fingers touching the wet concrete, their blue swim caps and suits subtly reflecting the interlacing waves of water beneath them.

_"On your marks. Here we go. Three, two, one, go!_"

The instant that her final word went through the air, the group of girls sent themselves flying into the drink. With great speeds they raced across the bright blue field, touching the other side of the pool before heading back from where they had started from.

During it all, she watched them closely, scrutinizing each competitor's technique, at what points in the lanes they began to fatigue, and so forth. Next to her, other members of the girl's high school swim club did the same, each one of them tracking an individual lane, scribbling notes down on a clipboard, timers in their hands. Lap after lap, every part of the trial was analyzed and recorded in the rows of tables printed upon the papers they held.

Within a few minutes, it was all over, the swimmers now returned to the starting point, panting hard with exhaustion.

She brought the megaphone back up to her mouth. _"Great job, everyone! Let's get the second round going now. Line up!"_

On her command, the swimmers in the pool got out, trading places with another batch of girls that were readying to dive in themselves.

_"Alright, here we go! On your marks. Three, two, one, go!"_

The spectacle repeated itself, another test underway.

"...so...so what do you think, coach? Do we have a shot?"

She kept her eyes on her students as she replied to one of the club members next to her. "Well, we've got some really talented people, but it's gonna' be a pretty tough fight for us."

The girl who had asked the question, a young first year, frowned as she continued to watch the lane she tracked. "R-really...? Why?"

"I'm just basing it off the qualifiers. I mean, from what I read from the times, we did good, but, this team just barely scraped by. We got some real work to do if we wanna' place high at the meet."

Her student sighed.

"Hey, chin up! We're gonna' really put our all into it anyway, right? Yeah, it's gonna' be hard work and stuff, but that'll make winning the whole thing that much sweeter!"

The girl held her dismayed expression for another moment, but it soon transformed into a genuine smile. _"R-r-right, coach!"_

A chuckle escaped from her.

"Is something...funny?"

"Nah, nothin'! I'm just..." Her big, goofy, trademark grin spread itself across her face. "...I dunno'. I'm not used to being called your guys' coach still."

"But, that's what you are..."

"I know." She laughed again. "I just mean, I was in class with some of you guys just a few months ago, so, I guess I'm just not used to the name, yet."

"...do...do you want me to call you something else, then? I mean...I d-don't mind..."

Kagura let go of another hearty laugh, one that was loud enough for most of the other members of the swim club to clearly hear. "Nah, stick to 'coach'! I think I'll get used to it pretty damn soon!"

* * *

The last of the timed sessions was finally over, Kagura using her whistle to gather the whole of the swim club over towards the bleacher end of the pool area. Once everyone was assembled and seated, she spoke to them all, using the remainder of the day's practice to go over everyone's performances today: what they needed to work on, pep talks to those who needed one, details of the upcoming high school meet. When all of that was said and done with, she waved the lot of them farewell as the group headed off for the showers.

_...I think that was good for my first day, right? I didn't say anythin' stupid or whatever, I hope...!_

She let out a small, nervous laugh, some pent-up anxiety leaking out from her. For the most part, her initial foray as an assistant coach for her old high school's swim team had gone fairly well. Her former instructor, Minamo Kurosawa, hadn't been able to make today's practice, encumbered with some sort of faculty meeting, so Kagura had gone it all alone. And while she did have some help from some of the club members, for the most part, she was able to manage everything by herself with no real difficulty. She had easily remembered how things were always run in her own days as a club member, and so, in conjunction with her great experience as an expert swimmer, guiding and advising the current crop of girls had been surprisingly easy.

All in all, it had been a wonderful few hours during her initial return to her high school. Coming back as an alumni had gotten her quite the welcome from the members, Kagura having not at all been prepared for the boisterous reception she had received when she had first walked into the pool area. Since she was an ace athlete during her high school years, she already had somewhat of a fan club going for her, but combining that with her new status as a 'coach' had morphed her into a real campus celebrity. Every one of the girls had wanted to be the one to help her out with what she had required, or to be the member who stole the show in front of her eyes as she watched them compete. It had been hard to not let it all go to her head, but Kagura was now gradually getting used to the idea that she was a genuine rock star here.

_...I wonder if coach ever felt the same way when she first came back here to teach?_

"Is something wrong, coach?"

Kagura pulled herself from out of her thoughts, hardly aware that she had just been idly standing by the side of the pool, watching the calm water. She turned to her helper from earlier, the first year who had been wondering about their team's chances at the upcoming meet. "Ah...no, just thinkin' to myself. Hey, what time is it?"

The young girl looked at her watch. "It's about noon."

"Ah, thanks. Cool, I think coa-...Kurosawa-sensei's meeting should be over by now." She glanced over to the collection of clipboards that lay upon a section of the bleachers. "I'm gonna' go find her and give her the times. You guys did a good job in recording everything today."

Her assistant gave a wavering smile. "Th-thanks...! We're all...just glad to help, coach! Umm...do you want some help collecting the sheets...?"

"Sure! Let's get everything together."

The duo headed to the bleachers then. Within a short amount of time, they had a stack of papers and notes, all of the information that they had gleaned from today's trials.

"Thanks again for the help!" Kagura gave a hearty clap on the girl's shoulder.

Another broken, anxious smile crossed the first year's face. "N-n-o prob-blem, m'am..._coach!_ Anytime...just ask me for help...!"

Kagura grinned at her. She had noticed that most of the members had acted somewhat timid towards her today, just like this particular girl was, and she could only chock it up to her former notoriety. Of course, to some degree, she also had to factor in her freshly acquired position of authority into the equation. These were her students now, and while that in itself was an awkward experience for her to personally grapple with, it must have been somewhat of an intimidating proposition on their end as well.

_It's not every day that one of your seniors comes back to bark orders at you as an instructor, ha, ha!_

"Thanks!"

"Are...are you going to shower before you see Kurosawa-sensei?"

"Nah." Kagura started to walk towards the locker area, her assistant following her. "I was gonna' do a few laps in the pool after I talk to sensei. I thought I'd be getting a workout here at the practices, but I just pretty much stood on my feet the whole time, huh?"

"Ah...yeah..."

"Yeah, so, I need the exercise! Anyway, I'm just gonna' toss on some clothes quick and find her."

"...have you seen her lately, coach?"

"Huh?"

The young girl looked at her in earnest as they walked into the locker room, their eyes blinded for a moment as they got used to the lack of sunlight now, almost bumping into a few other members by accident. "I mean...have you met with Kurosawa-sensei lately?"

"Oh...nah. She sent me an email last week with a bunch of directions for today, since she was gonna' be busy, but I haven't actually seen her since graduation. Why?"

"Oh...then you probably wouldn't know..."

Kagura stopped in front of the locker that she had selected to use earlier today, opening it. "What are you talkin' about?"

"...w-w-well...you know how we all love Kurosawa-sensei, right, coach? But..." The first year shuffled her feet about anxiously. "...you know how she can be sort of a stickler sometimes, right?"

"...I guess, yeah."

"...we've all been...kind of noticing that...umm...she's like, lightened up a lot..."

She smirked at the girl, having no clue as to what this conversation's intention was. "Ok...umm, good? That's a good thing, right?"

The girl frowned. "Y-yeah, I mean, but...I don't know, coach. It's hard to explain. She seems pretty happy, so we thought something might be going on with her. Like she finally found a guy or something like that."

Kagura paused as she put a t-shirt on, chuckling a bit. For as much adoration and renown that her old coach had all over campus, she still always had this smidgen of infamy for never being able to land a steady relationship. "I haven't heard anything like that. But, who cares? All that matters is that she's in a good mood, right?"

Her assistant shrugged, sighing. "R-right...it is good, just...like I said, it's hard to explain. It's just...odd for her, I guess."

"Odd?"

"Just...I mean, we're glad that she's happy, but this is just...different..."

Kagura finished putting on a pair of soccer shorts, and then placed her feet into some slip-on sneakers. "Sorry...I don't really get what you're saying. Why are you tellin' me about this, anyway?"

The girl groaned, obviously frustrated with herself. "S-sorry, I'm not doing a good job at this. We were all just wondering about her...so...I just thought you'd know if anything was up with her, coach..."

"Well...I guess I can kinda' get what you're saying. If she's lightened up some, then yeah, I guess it can be weird, since she's usually pretty serious."

"Y-yeah...! I guess that might be it..."

"You guys are probably all just over thinking things. Just be glad she's getting happier, not angrier." She laughed as she closed the locker door. "Kurosawa-sensei can be pretty scary when she's mad, right?"

She got a chuckle out of the girl, who was nodding cheerfully now.

"Alright, anyway, I'm gonna' go find her now. Catch you later!"

Kagura shared a goodbye with her helper, and then took the collection of papers with her as she made her way outside, bearing the increasing heat of the day as she set off for the main high school building.

* * *

"Hey there...coach...?"

Minamo Kurosawa turned around in her desk chair, looking up at the girl who stood behind her. "_Kagura!_ There you are!"

Kagura grinned widely, becoming a bit embarrassed as her old teacher stood up and gave her a wild hug in front of the other present faculty members. "H-hi!"

Her sensei chuckled, keeping her hands on her former pupil's shoulders as she finished with the embrace, just looking her up and down now. "Wow, when did I last see you? You look different!"

"R-really...?"

"Yeah! Did you put on a little muscle? You look great!"

She laughed lightly. "Ah...I guess. Just tryna' improve my game. You...you look the same, though...!"

Minamo laughed jovially, her cool smile and youthful demeanor still solid staples of her overall appearance, this sort of boyishness that really set her apart from most other adult women out there. Kagura could still even remember, way back on her first day of homeroom with Kurosawa-sensei, when all of the students, including Kagura herself, had originally mistook the woman for a young, handsome man.

In any case, her comment about her sensei's looks had been intended as more of a compliment than anything sarcastic. The woman's jet black hair, her signature dog ear bangs, her soft, friendly face, Kagura was genuinely glad that nothing about them had changed in the slightest of ways. She had greatly missed seeing all of those features on a daily basis, and now found that their presence in her life again was releasing a tension inside of her that she hadn't really been conscious of.

After a few more laughs, Minamo nodded happily towards her. "I guess that's a good thing? Anyway! How was your first day as a swim coach? Did everything go well?"

"Oh...yeah! I think I handled everything well. I just remembered what you always did and just pretty much copied that, so, it worked out."

Minamo chuckled, pushing in her chair. "Excellent! That makes me feel a little less guilty." She sighed. "I'm really sorry again, that I had to leave you hanging like that on your first day. That committee meeting announcement really caught me off guard last week, and I couldn't cancel it..."

"No problem, coach! The other kids helped me out with anything I needed, so don't sweat it."

The woman looked at her warmly, and then patted her shoulder. "I should have known you'd take care of things. You've really matured a lot since I first met you. You're all grown up now!" She gave a gentle punch to one of her arms. "And you're definitely a lot tougher, too! What sort of times are you pulling in the pool now with those guns?"

Kagura laughed with abashment. "...I don't remember, but...they're definitely better than my old ones..."

Minamo grinned again. "You really have to show off your stuff to the club sometime. Oh, geez, I'm so glad to have you help me out here, Kagura! Every girl out there is going to get really get inspired when they see what our alumni can do...oh." She noticed the stack of papers that her assistant coach was holding. "Are those the times for today?"

"Ah, yeah." Kagura presented them to the woman. "Here you go. Do you wanna' go over them now?"

"Yes! Of course! Would you mind if we walk around the hallways and discuss everything? I've been sitting down for a few hours now and my legs are killing me!"

Kagura agreed to the request, and soon, they were walking down the school corridors, chatting about the details of the upcoming swim meet as they made their rounds. Since there were no classes currently in session, the building was, for the most part, empty, their voices echoing around in the silence. And even though the dead air was a bit disconcerting to Kagura, the campus as a whole normally so full of life, she didn't really mind it. The solemn atmosphere just reinforced the notion that out of every other possible graduate that could be here right now, walking right beside Minamo Kurosawa, she herself had been the one chosen to do so.

She listened to the woman talk as she went over some of the candidates for particular events, feeling a gentle bliss waft through her as she did. When her sensei had originally offered her the opportunity to become a fellow swim coach for the summer, Kagura had been absolutely ecstatic about the chance. Not only was it a great experience for her future athletic career, but more than that, it was a sure sign that the person she revered the most in life really thought something extraordinary of her.

"...I think she'll do fine! She placed third in the 400 meter, so we'll give her a shot! What do you think?"

"Oh, yeah!" Kagura looked over to the document that her sensei was currently holding. "I was surprised since she was a first year. She's pretty strong..."

With every word she spoke, Kagura had to fight to keep the childish glee from out of her voice, being absolutely delighted that she could talk with her old coach and mentor as somewhat of a peer now. This was the woman that she had looked up to so greatly over the last few years, the only other female athlete that she had ever been able to really and truly identify with. And, above everything else, she was the one who had helped her get into the position that she was now currently in, Kagura preparing to enter a college and future that wouldn't have been possible without Kurosawa-sensei's help.

_Yeah...I do wonder...where I'd be now if she hadn't talked some sense into my folks. Definitely...definitely not here, anyway..._

She let those old troubles float out from her mind, simply just enjoying the company of her beloved sensei as their time together continued. However, despite the great amount of fun that she was having while their discussion of the swim club went on, Kagura couldn't help but feel that something was just slightly beginning to throw off her concentration, a fly buzzing around in her thoughts.

_...that first year was right. There is somethin' different about her._

Kagura had let her initial bewilderment slide by, when her old coach had so openly and affectionately embraced her back in the faculty room. While Kurosawa-sensei was undoubtedly a loving individual, her earlier greeting had been something that didn't quite fit in with her usual low key and composed set of behaviors. Kagura had simply assumed that her sensei was just really that excited to see her again, but now, after having spoken to her almost non-stop for the last ten or so minutes...

_She's like...man, she's...ditzy?_

That was the only word that Kagura could use to frame her sensei's current personality. It wasn't anything outright, just so many little peculiar mannerisms that she wouldn't expect to come from this usually reserved woman. Any comment that was in the least bit humorous would illicit a string of giggles or uncanny grin, and the way in which her sensei was speaking just had this distinctive bounce to it. Even her dialogue itself was different, Kagura almost feeling as if she were now conversing with some giddy teenager, rather than a seasoned, adult teacher.

_I guess she's just really relaxed or something. But...something's bugging me about it...something about that smile..._

"...I'll give her some tips when I see her next practice. Ah, hey, coach, are...are you pretty excited about the meet or something?"

Minamo looked at her with delight. "Of course I am! I always am."

Kagura chuckled sheepishly, still a bit taken aback from the off-character responses. "Ha...well, I mean...you just seem to be pretty pumped up today for some reason."

"Do I?"

She shrugged. "Yeah. Maybe I'm wrong, but, I don't remember you getting as excited about the other meets before."

There was a brief pause before Minamo interrupted it with laughter. "Well, I'm looking forward to it, of course. Hmm...I guess I've just been in a pretty good mood lately. Things have just..." She looked towards the ground as they walked, grinning. "Things have just been going fantastically for me lately, Kagura. I'm on a wave!"

"Oh, like what?" She chuckled. "Did Yukari move outta' town or something?"

Minamo began to snicker wildly.

_...whoa...was what I said that funny? _

"No, no! She's not moving away. That was a good one, though! Umm, things...things are, well...you know how life goes sometimes! Like I said, lots of little things just go right at the same time! That's what it is, Kagura. Everything is just perfect...or getting there, anyway."

"Ah, yeah, I guess I know what you're saying. You had a pretty good summer then, I take it?"

"Very good, actually! And how did yours go? Actually, how's your family and everyone doing now?"

The next few minutes were spent by Kagura mostly doing the talking now, explaining how her improving relationship with her parents had been coming along, the college preparations she had been undertaking, her anticipation for being able to join in on this associate coaching program. Throughout it all, her sensei smiled generously without let, nodding merrily and chuckling at everything her former student was saying to her.

"...so...yeah. It was a lot of work, but I think the effort paid off...I'm definitely able to lift a ton more than before. But anyway...how about you? You didn't really tell me what you were up to in the summer, coach."

Minamo mulled over the question. "Oh, the usual! Just working, take it easy here and there. Oh, I keep forgetting! You should join my intramural league if you ever get a chance! I'd love to have you there; we just finished up tennis, and we're doing indoor soccer next."

Kagura nodded. "Ah...that would be cool! I dunno' if I'll have time soon, though...but you never know, right?"

"Right! But, yeah, besides that, it's mostly just the normal routine for me. And..." She hesitated again. "...and, you know, just...hanging out with Yukari, sometimes..."

"Oh, yeah? How's she doin', anyway? I don't think I saw her here today."

"She's doing fine! And yes, she's here today, too! She's just never around when you want to find her! You know how she is, right?"

Kagura chuckled. "Oh, man, yeah. She always pops up at the worst times..."

"Yep! You do know how she is. Not as well as I do, though."

She didn't respond to that last comment, totally lost on from where it had come from.

"No one does, actually! Hey, Kagura, did I ever tell you that she and I have been best friends since high school?"

"Umm...yeah, I think so..."

She looked to her old student, grinning. "See? That's why I know her better than anyone!"

Kagura glanced at her, noticing that there was this sort of smugness in the expression her sensei now bore, as if she were incredibly satisfied for some odd reason. "O-oh...yeah, that makes sense!"

"It does, doesn't it?" Minamo faced forward again as they rounded another corner of the the hallway. "And...and I guess...she's a part of the reason...of why I'm in such a good mood, Kagura."

"...why's that?"

"It's just...we've been getting along really well lately...and having a lot of fun, like the old days. And...then everything else...is...like I said...just going fantastically as well...so everything's great! "

The enthusiasm in her sensei's voice was more than obvious now, Kagura physically feeling it smack her in the face.

Minamo chuckled. "Sorry, I'm...I'm being silly now. But...I just can't remember the last time that things had just all gone my way..." She looked over to her again, giving her the most sincere, mirthful smile in her repertoire. "Life is going great, Kagura! It really, really is...!"

Kagura just simply stared at her sensei for a moment, finding herself a bit in awe from the expression presented to her. The woman's eyes had gained this light to them, her entire face radiating a cheerfulness that was impossible for Kagura to not smile back at. Although she didn't understand exactly why her coach was so amazingly happy, she still found herself absolutely delighted by it. If there was anyone on this planet who deserved to feel wonderful, then it was Kurosawa-sensei, the kindest, most outgoing, most amazing person that she had ever met in her life.

_Man, I guess she's in heaven now or something. I don't think I've ever seen her like this...maybe things have been rough for her for awhile? Well, whatever, it's just great to see her happy. Maybe this is how she really is when there's no pressure or anything on her, or th-_

They broke off their mutual stare, returning their gazes ahead of them.

_...wait. That was...weird..._

Kagura furrowed her brow, looking slightly away from her old teacher, pondering over something that she had just noticed. That unidentifiable niggling had just suddenly returned, the small feeling that something was just slightly off about her sensei's jovial attitude. Howver, some reticent instinct had just given her a possible clue as to what was bothering her about it all.

It had been so hard to discern, but at the very edges of her sensei's smile, at the very edges of her capricious behavior today, there was something just so...

_...creepy...?_

She shook her head, throwing away the idea as she got back into a deep discussion with her beloved sensei, choosing instead to bask in her affectionate warmth, rather than think anything ill of such a perfect and loving individual.


	42. Part II Chapter 42

**Author's Notes**

Hi! Next chapter should be out fairly soon.

~mhazaru

* * *

Part II

Chapter 42

Minamo pointed to a name on the small dry-erase board that she held. "So, you want to put her in the 50 meter, then?"

Kagura thought to herself for a moment as she looked over the other contenders that were listed, the shade provided from the roof of the pool's coaching bench allowing her to view them without the bright sunlight interfering. "Yeah. From what I've seen, she doesn't got the stamina for a longer race...but she's pretty good at the shorter ones. Probably the best we got, actually."

Her coach nodded towards her, and then smiled widely as she put a mark by the girl in-question's name. "I'll go with your call, then, Kagura."

She returned the happy expression, feeling her chest swell with a touch of pride as her coach verified yet another one of her decisions for the team's competitive roster.

The two of them then returned their eyes to the school pool, watching the rest of the swim club conduct the exercises that Kagura had wanted them to perform on this hot Friday morning. There were now two weeks left before their big summer high school meet would begin, and so she and her old coach had been quite busy advising and preparing the students for the events that they would be participating in. And, while Kurosawa-sensei had been right there beside her, after her initial absence this past Monday, she had relegated most of the direction and duties to her former pupil, allowing her to effectively run most of the show by herself, as she saw fit.

Kagura took a drink from a bottle of water that was beside her and then resumed a joyful and animated discussion about the upcoming competition with her sensei. They had been conversing with each other almost non-stop throughout all the sessions so far, Kagura more than delighted to not only be working side-by-side with her beloved mentor, but to also have her complete trust in leading the swim team.

_...maybe she's letting me run things so that, if we lose, it'll be my fault...ha...!_

"There!" Minamo grinned, handing the board over to her. "All done now! Do you want to do the honors and announce the list after practice?"

She looked over at the woman with sheer eagerness. "_S-sure!_ I'd be glad to, coach! Man, I-" Something on the far end of the pool caught her eye. "...aw, geez, coach, they're at it again."

Minamo looked over to what had gotten her assistant's attention, smiling sarcastically once she had spotted it. "Ah...it's all yours."

Kagura stood up, handling the megaphone that sat next to her legs on the cement, and began to shout in it. "_You four, just sittin' there screwin' around!_"

A handful of club members who were idly chatting by the side of the pool suddenly leaped up in surprise, staring right at her in shock.

_"Get the hell in the water right now and don't stop doin' laps until I tell you to stop!"_

Without a moment's hesitation, the lot of them dived in, furiously swimming into vacant lanes of the pool as they started to make their penance.

"Man..." Kagura shook her head in disgust as she sat back down, throwing her arms over her knees. "Now I know how you felt whenever we used to goof off, coach...like, seriously..."

Her sensei chuckled, leaning back casually as she watched her students fret about in the pool. "That's just how it is, Kagura. Some kids just don't take things as seriously as others. But those four didn't make the roster anyway, right? Go figure, huh?" She grinned again, her boisterous laughter causing a few club members to turn their heads over to the commotion.

Kagura put on a flaky smile, its usual flair mitigated by the awkward sensation that she was now once again experiencing in the presence of her sensei. As she had first noticed at the beginning of the week, there was this somewhat uneasy feeling that ran through her whenever her coach would begin to find humor in something, which seemed to be in almost any sort of topic now.

_All the other kids are right. She's definitely not as...I dunno', stiff as she used to be..._

She had tried her best to ignore the woman's newly acquired eccentricities, not wanting to sully her image in any sort of way, but that eerie tinge to her chuckles and snickers had been growing in strength as of late, making it harder and harder to do so. "Ha...yeah..."

"But, look at you! It looks like you've been yelling at kids for years! You're really good at it!"

She glanced over at the students that she had just reprimanded, becoming a little abashed. "Just copying your act, coach..."

Minamo snickered wildly, and then quieted down.

Kagura peered at her from out of the corner of her eyes, a bit shocked by how child-like that laugh had just been, and then dropped her voice low, making sure that any surrounding club members couldn't hear her. "Umm...hey, coach..."

Her sensei smiled brightly at her. "Yes?"

_...are you on drugs?_ "Err...umm...things are still...going pretty well for you, huh?"

"What do you mean?"

"Ah...just seems like you're having a lot more fun than usual now."

"I'm always having fun out here, Kagura!"

She forced on another light smile. "Y-yeah, I know, but, uh...I remember you were tellin' me the other day...about how things were going really well for you lately, right?"

"...wait...did I tell you...?"

Kagura had to fight to keep her face from not showing real surprise then. It was subtle, but her coach's expression had just become solemn, this grave shadow suddenly crossing over it. "T-tell me what, coach...?"

The woman held that stone stare at her for just a moment, before it crumbled away into an exuberant grin once again. "Ah...oh! No, nothing. Umm...I'm sorry, I guess I forgot...what did I tell you, exactly?"

She recovered herself quickly from the abrupt change of demeanor that had just taken place before her, Kurosawa-sensei's personality beginning to rotate around like a carousel. "...oh...um, remember, on Monday? I said you looked like you were in a good mood, and then you told me that things were all going your way now, or something."

"...ah, right! _Right!_ Yes, you're right, Kagura, things are still going really well! I'm..." Minamo paused, looking out at the pool as if she were searching for something, and then let her stare fall.

Kagura gazed at her coach with suspicion as silence interrupted their dialogue. What she had thought was a normal, casual chat to engage in was quickly becoming somewhat of a surreal experience for her now. A few times earlier this week, her coach had performed this same roulette of emotional states, something that was quite uncanny for someone of her stoic nature to do so. But on this occasion, however, the peculiarity of it was reaching a whole new level, the changes much more abrupt and sharper than before. "Oh...well, that's...uh, good to hear. I was...just asking because you seem to be pretty happy st-"

"I think we know each other fairly well, right, Kagura...?"

It took her a second to respond, unsure of where that question had come from, noting that the woman was now also attempting to keep her voice low. "Um, yeah...I guess so, coach. Why?"

"...well..." Minamo spoke slowly, breaking into a smile, then out of one, then back into another one. "I...can you keep a secret?"

"...uh, sure, coach. What is it?"

Minamo leaned her head in close, whispering now. "If I seem...like I'm in a good mood, it's really because...because I might...I might have met someone..."

"'Met someone'...? _Oh!_ You mean...ahh..." Kagura grinned, a few chuckles coming out from her as everything began to finally make sense. _Man, that first year was dead on._ "You mean you're going out with someone, coach?"

"Ah..." Her coach's words became even quieter. "N-not...going out, yet. Just...you know...having some fun together, for now..."

"Oh, ok. Ha! So, coach, you're in love, aren't ya'? That's what's been going on!"

Minamo nodded her head slowly. "I guess so. I didn't really realize...how much it showed. But...yes, that's why. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier...I just...didn't want it...to get around, if someone heard about it, I mean...because...it's embarrassing...a little..."

"...um, hey, no problem! Well...I guess you guys must be gettin' along good, right? I mean, you seem stoked about everything nowadays..."

"...yeah, you could say that. I..." Minamo rubbed her hands together with some obvious nervousness, and then took a deep breath. "...I...have a big weekend planned ahead. I...might...tell...th-this person, how I feel, I guess..."

"Gonna' confess, you mean?"

Her sensei nodded.

_"Awright', coach!"_ Kagura gave the woman a slap on the back, shying away from her actions as she drew some attention towards themselves. "Oops...uh, so, anyway! There's no way anyone could ever turn down someone as cool as you, coach! You're totally gonna' land him!"

Minamo pressed her lips together, appearing as if she wanted to say something.

"...coach?"

Her response was subdued in tone. "...ah...yeah. I think...it will go well, thank you."

_...ok, that wasn't the reaction I was expecting._ "...s-sure. But, yeah, best of luck to ya' coach! You totally gotta' let me know how it all turns out on Monday."

Another long pause, Minamo seemingly reflecting over something as she watched the students in the pool. "I'll...think...about it..."

"...sorry, didn't hear you. What?"

"...ah...nothing."

Kagura leaned back on the bench, becoming quite lost as to how to properly participate in this awkward conversation, Kurosawa-sensei not uttering a word now.

_Maybe...she's just nervous about it all? Guess that would explain it. Yeah...probably nerves. She's kinda' been on edge at the same time as being super happy, so..._

Those threads of anxiousness that had been weaved between her coach's mirthfulness all week were now becoming understandable to Kagura. If the woman had been excited about a blossoming relationship that she was in, but of which was now coming to a point at where it could possibly go in an ill direction, then it was no wonder that her behavior was quite erratic lately. Kurosawa-sensei hadn't had the best of luck in finding a steady partner, at least by what Kagura had heard, and so, more than likely, she was banking pretty heavily on this one succeeding.

_Poor coach..._

"I'm glad...that I could tell someone about this, Kagura."

Her thoughts were halted by the woman's voice. '_Tell someone'?_ _Is it really that big of a deal to talk to someone about this sorta' stuff?_ "Oh...well, yeah, coach. I'm always hear to listen to ya'. And don't worry! I won't tell the kids or anyone about it."

"Th-thanks..." Minamo put a hand on a forearm, grasping it as it rested on her lap. "I just...don't like rumors...about myself."

"No one does, right?"

"Right...but...I also, wanted to tell someone. I feel...better, I guess." Minamo turned her head towards her, looking satisfied with something.

"Oh...err, you were feeling bad?" Kagura chuckled. "I couldn't tel-..."

"I've never really told anyone before."

"...about...what? This guy you met?"

Minamo shook her head, saying nothing, and then looked back ahead of her.

Kagura just watched her, waiting for her to say something, frowning when nothing came.

_What the hell?_

In her head, she went through all the different versions of her coach that she had just witnessed. A giddy teenager one, a melancholy one, a serious one, and now, this sort of wispy character that she couldn't really get a feel for, as if Kurosawa-sensei's attention span was constantly widening and narrowing.

_...do you just get like this when you really like someone? Damn, it's creepy, man. _"Umm, so, coach...you haven't told your friends or anyone about this yet?"

Minamo spoke cautiously. "About what...?"

"...the guy you've been seeing..."

The woman snapped out of some daze she was in. "Oh...! No...no. No one."

"...ok. Well, what about Yukari? Figured she'd know somehow even if you tried to hide it...I swear, like, she knew everyone's social life in our class, like she was some kinda' stalker! That lady is nuts."

Another long, uncomfortable pause came in the dialogue. "She'll know soon."

Kagura furrowed her brow, that nostalgic, somewhat depressed persona back with her coach. "...ah, well...maybe it's better if she doesn't know, right? She seems like the jealous type, like, she'd totally try to get in the way and stuff, yeah?" She laughed, trying to get her sensei to join in, but stopped when the efforts weren't producing any fruit.

_...ok, I give up. I don't get this._

She sighed, not at all knowing how to converse in this sort of situation, and began to resign herself to simply making herself more comfortable on the bench.

_"Jealous type!"_

Kagura's body jolted from the sudden, endless laughter that was now emanating from next to her. "...crap, coach...!"

Minamo giggled with delight, her murky mood expelled from her as that uncanny, youthful charisma returned. "Oh my...I'm sorry! That was so funny...I'm sorry, I'm...I've just got a lot on my mind. I didn't mean to ignore you!"

She settled herself back down, just gawking at her coach stupidly. "...it's...ok...?"

"Yukari really is a jealous person. You're right! But don't you think that's sort of what makes her interesting, Kagura?"

"...huh?"

"Because she's so crazy, I mean!" The glee was flowing out from her now. "Everything about her is just so hilarious! Have...have you ever seen her get jealous about other people before? I'm sure you have! She makes the most adorable face when she is. It's sort of an angry one, but also kind of clownish', you know?"

"...uhh..."

Minamo stood up then, stretching herself in the sun. "She's always been like that. She'll never change, but I don't want her to. She's fine just like that!" She looked over towards the pool. "Ok, now...Kagura, I'm going to take a dip with everyone for a bit. It's getting so hot now!"

As the woman ran off, all Kagura could do was just sit there stunned, watching her coach jump into the water. A flock of students then surrounded her as they all began to laugh and converse together, their favorite instructor now joining them in their exercises.

_...ok..._

She began to scratch her head, wondering what in the world had just happened, of how completely fluid her old sensei's emotional state was now, of how absolutely ditzy she had just become.

_...yeah, hell with it, man. I am never fallin' in love. Noooooo thanks!_


	43. Part II Chapter 43

**Author's Notes**

Hello! Chapter pic in my profile.

~mhazaru

* * *

Part II

Chapter 43

"_You serious?_"

"I'm pretty sure, coach. No one's seen her today. I asked one of the other teachers earlier, too, and she didn't know where she was either."

Kagura gave her first year assistant a dubious look, the same young girl who had been so helpful to her during her inaugural period as a swim coach last week. They were both standing about in the school's pool area, getting ready to begin another practice session for their club, but, just had occurred last Monday, the head adviser was once again absent for it. "...geez. I didn't get a message or anything from her either. What the hell, coach...?"

"Maybe Kurosawa-sensei is sick at home?"

"Could be. I dunno' though, she's usually pretty damn healthy. Oh, you know what I'll do...I'll get my phone from the locker and text her quick."

The girl's eyes opened widely in shock. "_W-wow!_ You...you have her number, coach...?"

"Oh...ha, uhh...no I don't..." Kagura bit her lip, a goofy smile coming onto her face at the same time. "Um, yeah...don't tell anyone else that I do, ok? I don't think Kurosawa-sensei wanted other people finding out about that, in case they start asking her for it too."

Her helper's posture became quite stiff then, coming to attention. "I..._I promise, coach!_ You can count on me!"

Kagura held in a chuckle, this particular student's raw enthusiasm always so priceless, a naivety to it. "Cool...thanks. Anyways, I'll be right back. Can you get the roll call goin'?"

"S-sure, coach! I'm on it!"

She nodded happily, and then, left the pool area as she made her way over to the locker room, breathing in relief once she was inside. Although Kagura loved being outdoors as much as possible, the summer sun was once again turning the whole land into an oven, the milder temperature inside the building feeling so good on her tanned skin.

After retrieving her bag from her locker, she took her phone out from it, punching in a message upon the screen.

_'hey coach...just seeing where youre at...catch you soon'_

She let the message fly and then waited a handful of minutes, checking to see whether any immediate response would come. When nothing came, she decided to simply let the matter sit for now, placing her phone and bag back into the locker.

_...watch her be out there at the bench right now. Ha!_

With a hearty smile, Kagura strode out and back towards the pool, her mind refocusing itself on today's practice.

* * *

Her assistant looked up at her, an expectant look in her eyes. "Anything yet, coach?"

Kagura frowned at her phone as she held it. "Nah, still nothin'."

The young girl peek over at the device as well. Both she and Kagura were donned in their casual clothes now as they stood in the locker room, ready to go home after another finished swim session. "Maybe she didn't get your message...?"

"Uhh...it must have gone through, right? It didn't give me an error or anything..."

"Hmm, you have service out here, right?"

She looked at the icons on the screen. "...yep. Never had a problem before, either."

"Well...maybe she really is sick then, coach? And, you know, she doesn't want to bother reaching for her phone, or doesn't want to get out of bed..."

Kagura shrugged. "Maybe, but she's usually pretty good about returning calls or texts or whatever pretty quickly."

The girl thought to herself for a moment. "Hmm...doesn't...Kurosawa-sensei usually give Tanizaki-sensei a ride to work?"

"Yeah, I think they carpoo-...oh." She looked to her helper, giving her an appreciative smile. "I should go ask Tanizaki-sensei if she knows anything, huh?"

"Y-yeah! Maybe she knows what's up..."

"Good thinkin'!" Kagura gave the short first year a playful pat on the head. "You're pretty useful, ya' know?"

"A-ah...just...helping out, coach..."

Kagura snickered as her assistant blushed with glee. "Ok, well, I'm gonna' go see if I can find her. I'll talk to you tomorrow, alright?"

"Sure, coach! Have a great day!"

After handing out some additional farewells to other club members that were around still, Kagura took her own leave, venturing outside towards the main campus building, her destination the faculty office.

_Hope she's in a good mood to talk to...if I can find her, anyway._

She shook her head sadly, wondering how in the world her old high school English teacher could still be employed here. Kagura had made it a point to visit Yukari Tanizaki last week upon her return, as, despite her mountain of personality flaws, she still did generally like the jokester and fellow gamer. However, the woman had been impossible to find. From what Kurosawa-sensei had then explained to her, Yukari _had_ been there, but, as always, she was either out goofing around or sleeping somewhere else on campus, and that was only if she hadn't ditched work entirely.

_Nothing ever changes with her. Ah, well, hope she's here today..._

In a few minutes, Kagura had reached the double doors of the large building that housed most of the classrooms, entering inside. On the way to the floor that held the faculty office, she passed by a handful of other students that were there for their own summer clubs, greeting any one of them that she knew. While the place wasn't nearly as full as when school was regularly in session, there were still enough kids and teachers around that certainly didn't make it feel empty at all either.

She was in front of the office now, peeking her head inside, cursing under her breath.

_...man..._

Yukari's desk, easily recognizable by the mountain of junk on it, was vacant. Next to her was Kurosawa-sensei's, also equally absent of its usual occupant.

Kagura frowned, and then entered inside, spotting another teacher that she did know. She went up to him, and, after a brief chat that involved catching up with each other, she inquired as to the current whereabouts of the two women that she was searching for.

"I don't believe Kurosawa-sensei called in sick today. They usually let us know who's in or out in the morning."

She gave the man a bit of a jaded expression, one of her former history instructors. "Dang...that's not like her, right?"

"Right. For her to not be responsible is pretty uncanny, but she's probably got a good excuse. For example, maybe her phone isn't working for some reason, or her car broke down somewhere on the way to work. So, I'm sure she'll call us later today when she gets time."

"Ah, yeah, you're right!" Kagura smiled. "She's gotta' have a good reason for it."

Her sensei nodded. "It's not like we have a lot to do in the summer, anyway, so the administrators are usually more lenient about absences. However, as for Tanziaki-sensei, she's here, but...well, I haven't seen her since she arrived. And, personally, I wouldn't want to talk to her right now, anyway, because...well, you probably know how she can be sometimes. She's in one of those moods..."

"Oh...yeah, like she's pissed off?"

"Yes...well...I only saw her for a bit this morning, but you can always tell when she's in one of her funks. You know what I mean, Kagura? I was even scared to say simple say 'hello'..."

Kagura rolled her eyes, instantly understanding. "Yeah...thanks for the warning, sensei. Guess I'll pass on finding her today, then...don't want her to bite my head off."

"Good idea. To be honest, I think she only comes here in the summer because she's forced to..."

She laughed at the comment, some other casual conversation occurring between them afterward. When all was said and done, Kagura bid her sensei farewell and then departed out the door.

_Well, guess that idea just went up in smoke..._

She made her way down the hallway, taking her phone out from her bag and gave it another look, grimacing as she still saw no response from her earlier message to Kurosawa-sensei.

_Man, what the hell are you doin', coach? Maybe she got drunk or som-_

Kagura's eyes suddenly brightened up, pausing in front of one of the large windows that peppered the sides of the hallway, hot sunlight spilling over her.

_Wait a minute...what'd coach say last Friday? Oh, yeah! She was trying to hook up with someone yesterday. I wonder...ha ha, no way...not her, not possible..._

It was, she admitted to herself, an incredibly wild notion, but the idea of Kurosawa-sensei skipping out on her duties today, in order to elope with a brand new lover, was just too hilarious to not ponder over. Her coach was normally so scrupulous about her job and life in general, so Kagura couldn't help but chuckle at the thought of the woman just bailing out on it all, simply because she had finally run into some good romantic luck.

"...ah, but then again, it's her..."

No one was nearby to her hear mutter to herself, Kagura becoming a little glum as another possibility entered her head. If one was to calculate her coach's previous attempts at relationships into the equation, then...

_...aw man. She mighta' struck out._

She grimaced, the more likely scenario beginning to unfold in her mind. It was just a musing of course, no real evidence to support it yet, but, given Kurosawa-sensei's reported history of dating, her coach might be staying home today because of a broken heart. If her confession yesterday hadn't gone down as planned, then for all Kagura knew, her sensei could be in bed right now, a bottle of liquor to her lips as she tried to get over the depression that she could be suffering with at the moment.

Kagura brought her phone back out in front of her, staring at the screen, beginning to feel genuinely sorry for the woman if she had indeed been rejected. Considering how amazingly happy Kurosawa-sensei had been acting last week, it would be a genuine tragedy to see her fall down from that wonderful high.

_Maybe she's just too down to return my message. Aw, hell with it, I'll just call her. It probably has nothing to do with the guy she was tryna' get with, but, still..._

She placed the phone to her ear after dialing her coach's number, resuming her walk out of the building. Although Kurosawa-sensei had been kind enough to give her phone number to her years ago, Kagura had always tried to avoid calling her whenever possible, not wanting to abuse the honor she had been given. For the most part, she had just simply texted her whenever she needed, feeling it was much less intrusive into her mentor's life than constant calls from a student.

But, in this particular case, she was becoming concerned as to how her coach's weekend had gone, Kagura now _having_ to know whether the woman was in good spirits or not. Or, as most likely was the case, just sick at home.

The line rang once.

_...or her car broke down, like sensei said, and she's been busy all day getting if fi-_

_"Yukari?"_

Kagura came to a clumsy stop right in front of the school's exit, almost dropping her phone after hearing the violent shriek that had just erupted from it. "_Whoa...!_ C-coach...?"

There was a moment's pause.

_*click*_

"...hello? _Hello?_ Coach...?"

No response came, Kagura now just gawking at her phone blankly as she realized that the other side had terminated the call.

_...the hell was that...? That was her, right?_

She recovered herself, trying to put together as to what had just happened.

_...let's...try again, I guess...?_

Her thumb hit the redial button, but the call went no where, her coach not picking up as her voice mail eventually answered for her.

_"Hi! This is Minamo. I'm sorry that I missed your call, but please leave me a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks, and have a great day!"_

_*beep*_

"Uhh..." Kagura thought to herself for a moment. "...hey coach, it's Kagura. Um...sorry to bother you. I was...just checkin' up on you. Hope you aren't sick or anything, and, um, yeah, was just wonderin' where you were today. Yeah, hope things are ok...talk to you later, bye."

She finished the call, took another hard, scrutinizing look at her phone, and then dialed the number again.

_"Hi! This is Minamo. I'm sorr-"_

"Damn..."

Kagura walked out of the building then, heading down the courtyard path in the direction of the bike racks. Along the way, she kept dialing her sensei over and over again, not one of the attempts bearing any fruit.

_...ok, now I'm spooked. What the hell was that?_

She wasn't at all sure of what to make of things now, the last few minutes quite surreal. All Kagura had done was simply phone her coach, only to be greeted with the most desperate, horrible cry from her when she had picked up. In all of her time knowing the woman, she had _never_ heard Kurosawa-sensei's voiced sound so absolutely anguished as it just had been, let alone experience her act in such an awkward way, such as ignoring calls and texts.

And then, factoring in that she had been crying out for _Yukari_ out of all people, had made the entire situation just that much more confusing to her.

Kagura eventually reached her bike. She looked down hard at it, then up at the sun, feeling its stinging heat on her face, and then back towards the school building as she considered things.

_...I don't think I'd find her in there if she's hiding. Better to just forget Yukari for now and go right to coach, but..._

She put the phone in her bag, slinging it over her shoulder as she secured it to herself, and then unlocked her bike, pulling it out of the rack.

_...she might not be at her apartment. She could be anywhere for all I know. But...where, then?_

Her brow was heavily furrowed with thought as she got on her ride, her concern for her coach multiplying by the second.

_No, I'll go check there anyway. Mom should be home by now...I can get her car. Yeah. That'll work._

Without another moment's hesitation, she launched herself on the bike, pedaling furiously as she zipped away from the campus, the present condition of her mentor being the only thing that mattered to her right now.

* * *

Kagura looked from side-to-side out the car windows, attempting to get her bearings straight as she drove along an unfamiliar street.

_Where is it? Come on, I know it's here, dammit'..._

She pushed down on the gas, accelerating her search for Kurosawa-sensei's apartment complex. On a few occasions in the past, when her coach had served as chaperon and driver for some of their vacation excursions, Kagura had been able to visit the woman's home when she took them there to pick up drinks and other supplies for the trips. Unfortunately through, she had never really paid that much attention to the actual route there, and had been going off the best of her memory's ability in order to find it. The only real detail she could exactly recall was the woman's apartment number, but besides that, everything else was a bit of a blur.

Another handful of minutes went by, Kagura essentially driving around blindly now. Kurosawa-sensei lived a good distance away from the school, in a part of town that Kagura really didn't know that well, so she was currently out of her element as she struggled to navigate around.

_"Whoa!"_

Her foot smashed the break, bringing the car to a screeching halt, before it could go over a crosswalk that she had just barely seen. An elderly coupled passed in front of her then, staring at the vehicle that had so rapidly stopped itself, Kagura smiling sheepishly at them as she bowed her head in apology.

_...gotta' be careful, gotta' be careful, gotta' be careful..._

After the street was clear of pedestrians, she got the car on its way again as she gave herself some verbal reminders about watching her speed more carefully. While Kagura was a very skilled driver, quite easily obtaining her licence at the beginning of the summer, she had quickly realized that she often drove faster than she really should be. Cars were somewhat of her thing, and while the vehicle she was driving was just her mother's everyday sedan, she usually had this subconscious urge to pretend it was some sort of ridiculously fast sports car instead.

_Right, right, slow and steady now. Don't want to pull a Yukari..._

Out of reflex, her hands suddenly gripped the steering wheel tightly.

_'Yukari?'_

The hopeless wail that Kurosawa-sensei had blasted over the phone filled her head again, Kagura forgetting her oath to drive carefully as she blazed down the road once more. She had no real idea as to what was going on with her coach, or what it all had to do with Yukari, but the horrible way in which she had screamed out the woman's name had just made it seem like she badly needed help, and Kagura was determined to provide it for.

_There!_

A triumphant grin spread across her face. After driving around for almost half an hour now, the white and gray apartment building that her coach lived had now finally come within Kagura's sights. Soon, she was pulling up into the lot of the complex, her spirits rising as she spotted another familiar sight.

"She's here!"

With finesse, she quickly parked into one of the available guest spots, leaping out of the car as she made her way to where Kurosawa-sensei's blue Toyota was. Through the windows, Kagura recognized the usual paraphernalia that her sensei kept inside the vehicle, verifying that it was indeed hers, and then raced her way to the actual apartment building itself.

_Ok, so she's here. Unless she got a ride somewhere...well, let's just hope that didn't happen! _

Ascending the stairs while sprinting was a simple task for her, Kagura soon on the floor that her coach's room was on. She took a breath to relax herself, becoming a little nervous for a reason that she couldn't quite identify, and then went down the catwalk, eventually coming to stand in front of the woman's home.

"Alright..."

She rang the door bell and then waited, frowning as no one answered, hearing no sound at all from inside.

Kagura grunted, ringing it again, bringing her head near the door. "...hey coach, it's me, Kagura. Sorry to come over like this, but, I just wanted to see how you were doing."

Again, she waited, and again, she was left frustrated, no response still.

She brought out her phone on a whim then, dialing it, and then pressed her ear to the door, her eyes opening wide in surprise.

_...I hear it...! Holy crap, I can't believe that worked..._

From the other side of the door, she could faintly hear a phone jingle go off, immediately recognizing it as Kurosawa-sensei's ringtone.

_She's gotta' be here then...but, then, why isn't she letting me in? She's inside, right...?_

Kagura began to bang on the door instead now, shouting through it, but still, no one came to open it, her anxiety and concern for her sensei reaching new heights now.

_What the hell, coach...? What's going on? Maybe...she's in the shower or something. But, that doesn't explain why she's been ignoring me on the phone all day..._

Out of sheer frustration, her hands went to the door handle, and she was prepared to push upon it widely when the least of her expectations happened.

"Whoa."

The door opened for her.

_...it's not locked._

Kagura took a moment to get herself together, completely confused as to what was going on here now, and then cautiously pushed the door open.

Inside, she could see that all the lights were on, the balcony blinds pulled shut.

"...c-coach...?"

She stepped inside the entrance way, slowly closing the door behind her.

"Coach...it's Kagura. Are...are you here?"

Although it was well illuminated inside, it took her eyes a moment to get used to the apartment atmosphere, the day outside much brighter. That, however, didn't stop her from venturing forth into the living room, stepping about softly as she did, some trepidation beginning to take her.

She gasped in bewilderment suddenly, her eyes finally adjusting.

"_Coach!_"

To the right of the room, sitting down in front of the couch, arms tightly hugging her knees to her chest, sat Kurosawa-sensei. She was in a t-shirt and jeans, her hair in a mess, and her stare was set to the floor, glued to her cell phone as it sat under her legs.

"Coach...what are you doing...?"

Minamo didn't notice her at all.

"Coach, hey."

Still, Kagura was ignored.

Movingly slowly, she stepped closer to her then, something telling her, for the strangest of reasons, to not make any sudden or alarming moves, Kagura feeling as if she were approaching some sort of scared, wounded animal.

She stood over her mentor now, whispering. "Coach...hey, look at me..."

Her sensei didn't move a muscle, didn't utter a word, staying in her posture as well as any statue, her only concern in the world being that of her phone.

Kagura knelt down then, gently placing a hand on the woman's shoulder. "Coach...can you hear me? What the hell are you doing here?"

The acknowledgement was a sluggish one, but finally, Minamo turned her head towards her, just staring at her without speaking.

Kagura's jaw dropped just slightly.

_...ok, something is seriously wrong here._

She hadn't thought so while standing over her, but now, as she looked straight into her face, she had just gotten the impression that she was now looking at a corpse, not a person. Kurosawa-sensei's skin was tepid and pale, her breaths shallow and almost non-existent. Her eyes, however, were the most disturbing feature to Kagura: they were encircled in red, her coach's pupils looking so hollow, as if no real actual vision was being taken into them.

"...Kagura?"

Her voice was weak and frail, but finally, Kurosawa-sensei had spoken.

"Y-eah...!" Kagura kept her tone as composed as possible, taking her hand off the woman. "Coach...what...what happened to you...? Are you sick?"

Minamo gazed emptily at her former student, not responding for what seemed like a full minute. "...it's going to...get all over you, if you sit here. Wait..." She looked her up and down. "...never mind, it's too late..."

"...what?"

"You should go...wash it all off now."

Kagura looked underneath herself, wondering if she had just knelt in something that she hadn't noticed, but the carpet was bare and clean. "Coach...I have no idea what you're talkin' about, but you need to tell me what's going on here. You look...you look really bad, coach..."

The woman put her stare back down to the phone. "I'm sorry that I didn't clean it up. I didn't know you were coming. I'm sorry...I'm really sorry."

"Coach...clean what up?"

"I'd help you out with it, but...I don't think...I can soon..."

She looked at the woman stupidly, thoroughly confused now. "Er...w-what...? Are you...going somewhere?"

"...no." Minamo spoke with a stone face. "I'll just be dead."


	44. Part II Chapter 44

Part II

Chapter 44

"Wh-_what?_"

Kagura had just shouted out in alarm at her, but Minamo didn't appear to notice the yell at all. Instead, she just sat there idly, watching her phone, hardly breathing.

"...coach, _what'd you just say?_ _Hey_,_ tell me what you just said again_."

The woman was deaf to her.

She gritted her teeth, Kurosawa-sensei's bizarre unresponsiveness beginning to truly frustrate her. "Hey, _listen to me_. I heard you just say that you were gonna' die. Don't just say somethin' like that and then go all silent on me. You hear me?"

Still, not a word.

"Hey, _coach._ Stop starin' at that damn phone and answer me." Kagura grabbed one of the woman's arms, attempting to make her face her, but was shocked when her coach just simply fell against her upon the pull. "Whoa...?"

Minamo lay on her now, staring blankly into the center of the apartment.

Kagura could only gape down at the eerie sight that was in a heap upon her lap. Her sensei had just given way like a flimsy rag doll, and now, the woman was weakly lifting a hand as she attempted to retrieve her phone, pawing at it in the air. Eventually, she righted herself up, picked up the device, and then resumed her previous posture: arms around knees, her eyes set squarely on her phone as it sat under her legs.

_...what...the...hell._

It was like she had just watched a coil slowly morph back into its original form, this inhuman lethargy coupled her coach's movements. And now, Kurosawa-sensei seemed once again oblivious to her presence, as if her old student had never even entered her apartment in the first place.

_Ok, I'm officially freaked out now._

The entire situation was becoming increasingly disturbing, Kagura having no real idea on how to proceed with what was now before her. She hadn't at all expected to find her mentor in such a haggard state, the woman both appearing and acting as if she were some corpse that had recently crawled out from its grave; her awareness, her personality, everything had just been completely sucked out from her, only a hollow shell left behind.

Kagura scrutinized her closely then, Kurosawa-sensei's particular symptoms prompting an idea. She slowly crept next to her, examining her arms as she cautiously lifted them, the woman not noticing her touch.

_...well, they look ok, but then again, I don't really know much about this stuff..._

She let go of the limbs, Minamo placing them back around her knees. The only explanation that Kagura could think of for her coach's freakish behavior was that the woman was on some sort of drug. She had conjectured, if that was the case, that she would have seen some sort of needle mark or such upon her skin, but nothing of the sort was found. Outside of seeking some sort of physical indication, though, Kagura didn't really know what else to possibly look for, having no real knowledge about narcotics or hallucinogens or what not.

_Do they swallow that stuff too? How do I check for that? I dunno', but...that's the only thing that makes sense, with the way she's acting. But why would she take someth-...oh, wait..._

"Coach...are you...waiting for a call?"

As expected, no response.

Kagura sighed as she tried to piece things together, investigative work not exactly her forte. She had just recalled the confession that Kurosawa-sensei had mentioned last week, the one that had supposedly taken place yesterday. Earlier, Kagura had messed around with the notion that the woman's advances had possibly been rejected , and hence, had wound up in a depressive stupor at home because of it, alcohol at her side. However, she had seen her coach drunk before, and the way she was now acting had been nothing like those past occasions...

_...but it's coach I'm talking about here. She wouldn't get wasted on something to try and feel better, not her. I mean, where would she even get stuff like that...?_

She waved a hand in front of the woman's face then, Minamo not noticing it.

_Holy crap, she really is gone. It's got to be...she's got to be on something then. Oh, how about if I..._

With great caution, Kagura reached for her coach's phone, picking it up and taking it away.

_Let's see if th-_

Minamo looked straight up at her then, an empty set of eyes attempting to pierce through her student.

_...whoa...whoa...whoa..._

Her sensei started to reach for her phone, but Kagura set it aside, grabbing the woman's wrists. Minamo then attempted to pry herself away, eyeing only her phone, the blind desire for it beginning to truly startle Kagura.

"...let...me go..."

The woman began to wrestle against her then, but Kagura quite easily dwarfed her in strength, holding her still with no effort. "No. You needa' tell me what the hell is going on with you first. Seriously, are you on drugs? What is wrong with you?"

"...you're getting it...all over us..."

Kagura raised an eyebrow, clueless as to what her mentor was talking about, observing that her coach's skin was now beginning to sweat. "...look...just tell me why you're acting nuts, and then you can have your phon-"

_"Let go!"_

She held onto her wrists with a stronger grip then, her sensei having just suddenly completely switched personas on her. Minamo had screamed right into her face, a shrill voice that was filled with the same desperation that she had used over the phone earlier today, and was now violently struggling to get away from her former student. "H-_hey!_"

_"You're making a mess!"_

"Calm down!

_"It's everywhere!"_

Her eyes were so different to Kagura now, the woman clearly terrified of something, perspiration flowing down her face as she madly thrashed about. "Dammit', _calm down!_"

_"Let go...! You're making it worse! It's not stopping...!"_

"Coach,_ shut up and listen to m-"_

_"Let go of me!"_

_"Coach!"_

_"You're trying to kill me!"_

_"What? What a-"_

_"You're just like the rest of them!"_

_"Hey!"_

_"Just leave me al-"_

_"Hey!"_

The woman shuddered in awe as she was forced against the bottom of the couch, gawking stupidly at Kagura with a dumbfounded expression, of whom had just roared thunderously into her face.

_"Just shut the hell up for a second!"_

Minamo could only pant out in tired breaths now, unable to speak.

_"Ok?"_

It took the better part of a minute, but gradually that lost, devoid look in the woman's eyes finally began to fade away, as if Kagura had just blasted the bleakness out from her. Now, Kurosawa-sensei just simply looked straight on at her, with nothing short of absolute bewilderment.

Kagura blinked as the adrenaline left her, amazed at her own actions as much as her sensei seemed to be. "...calm down, coach. I'm sorry, but just...just calm down for a second, ok...?"

Minamo didn't answer immediately. Instead, through labored breathing, she looked around herself, as if searching for something, appearing as if she weren't believing what she was now seeing. "...I...she...?"

She examined the woman for a moment, trying to get a handle on the state of her erratic sensei. "...ok, you...are you gonna' listen to me now?"

"...I..."

Her voice was so weak, Kagura having great trouble hearing her. "Are you gonna' listen to me, coach? Or a-"

_"Get her back for me!"_

Kagura almost fell over from the force of the cry, yet another abrupt shift in the woman's behavior taking place. Kurosawa-sensei's face had just crumpled in upon itself, her face soaked as she began to sob without let.

"Whoa...!"

Kagura let go of her wrists, catching her sensei in her arms she started to heave. "What? Get who...?"

_"My Yukari!"_

"Wh-_what_?"

_"She's gone! She hates me! She's going to tell everyone...because she hates me!"_

She held onto the woman even more tightly then, Kurosawa-sensei shivering heavily now as she groaned with despair.

_"Get her back...get her back for me...please get her back...!"_

"What are you talking about? What happened? _Coach_, what happened...?"

_"I...I tried...she was sleeping, and I was stupid! I tried to kiss her...I tried and then she knew! She knew everything...and then she left...she's gone...oh, shes' gone...!"_

Kagura's eyes opened in disbelief as what she heard eventually registered. "What...? You...wait, you tried to kiss who? _Yukari?_"

_"She hates me!"_

"Wai-"

_"Get her back...don't let her tell anyone! Get her back, Kagura! I'm begging you...!"_

The shriek over the phone from earlier in the day, the 'big plans' that her coach had been talking about, the strange, peculiar jubilance she had been showing as of late, all of it suddenly started to form into a new, unforeseen possibility in Kagura's mind. "Wait...coach...you mean...coach, why were you...trying to kiss her...?"

_"I want her back! I want things...like they were...!"_

She held her closely then as the emotion began to quite vehemently exit the woman, Kagura now grappling with the reality that she might not have known her beloved mentor nearly as well as she had previously believed.


	45. Part II Chapter 45

Part II

Chapter 45

_"...you have to go...!_ _Stop just sitting here! Go get her...!"_

As the woman in her arms continued to lament, Kagura started to observe something that was quite strange. Suddenly, the world around her had begun to stumble over itself, slowing down as if it had become drunk. The reality of everything that she had just gone through, of all the things she had just heard this woman so loudly spout out, had finally registered with her, the impact of it so overwhelmingly surreal.

It was an odd sensation, but not one that was completely disorienting; she just didn't feel as if she were of her regular state of mind anymore. The only similar experience that Kagura could compare it to was that of entering a runner's high, or feeling the effects of being in the zone during a game. On one hand, everything seemed so distant from her now, as if she had somehow grown apart from her immediate environment. But yet, at the same time, she had also become much more aware of it all, able to view her surroundings with a far sharper lens, to grasp and examine it all in true focus.

The bright lighting of the apartment. That was the first matter that had immediately caught the attention of Kagura's heightened perception. She could acknowledge it now, could tell how abnormal its illuminating presence was, because it was actually still daytime outside. The lights were needed because the balcony window's blinds had been closed shut, sunlight bleeding in between the blades like an uninvited guest that was attempting to sneak inside.

And then, there was the television.

The thing was on, must have been on, since she had originally arrived, Kagura only just now realizing it. Sound was emanating from it, and the screen itself was displaying its contents properly, but neither of those details had caught her attention before. From what she could recall, she had sworn that the apartment itself had been completely silent this entire time.

However, while Kagura did feel a bit foolish for initially overlooking such obvious facts, she found that she was able to excuse herself for the omissions, given that her mind had previously been dealing with a far greater spectacle.

Her concentration shifted back to it then, to the most significant of all the epiphanies. This woman that she had been holding against her, that was still wailing relentlessly at her, had kept referring to her by her first name over and over and over again.

Which, to Kagura, seemed like such an incredibly strange thing for her to do, since she didn't have a single clue as to who this person was.

That was the greatest revelation that had become so evident to her, above everything else that she was now fully aware of. This weeping, erratic mess beneath her, Kagura was sure that she had never met her before.

Of course, she did indeed _appear _like that _other_ person whom she actually knew.

Had the same face and hair style, the same physical characteristics, the same voice.

But, outside of that outward resemblance...

...everything _else_ was completely different.

The familiar, glowing confidence, that cool and calm persona, the genuine, warm smile that was always used to greet her, all of the wonderful qualities that were so prevalent in her _real_ mentor were not to be found in this woman at all.

No, not this sobbing pile of hysterics.

Kagura was positive that _she_ would never act like this, that _she_ would never display such bizarre behaviors, as the core of her _actual_ coach's character was engineered from a different set of plans entirely.

So, this couldn't possibly be her, then.

There was just no way.

And, besides that...

_...kiss..._

Kagura bit her lip hard, the myriad of conflicting details now beginning to come to blows with one another in her thoughts, her apparent understanding of everything quickly unraveling.

_...'her'...?_

She didn't get it. It just made absolutely no sense to Kagura, of how she could both know and not know a person at the exact same time, the complexity of this insane puzzle now inflicting her with an awful headache.

* * *

_'Wow.'_

_No one had to actually say it aloud, as Kagura was sure that every boy and girl in the classroom had instantly thought the same thing. The sounds of bodies shuffling in surprise as they sat at their desks, the chorus of subtle gasps, all of it served as adequate enough proof of their amazement._

_A young, attractive guy, just out of college, with a height that was perhaps a bit below average: that was Kagura's first impression of their P.E. instructor as he had walked into the classroom, his fresh aura and handsome looks instantly grabbing everyone's full attention. With short, black hair and bangs that were fixed with just the right amount of dishevelment, and a lovely, crisp smile that fit his soft face so perfectly well, it was just so easy to imagine that a single glance at him could slay any admirer. __And, as t__o attest to that fact, it had taken just under a second for his appearance to bring forth the expected reaction. Upon getting a better view of him, once he had moved to the front of the room, a collection of cooing and dreamy sighs had then flowed forth from a number of girls, all of whom had just personally thanked the heavens for being assigned such a majorly cute sensei._

_His voice, however, had quickly spoiled the ruse._

_"Hello, everyone! Welcome to your very first year of high school! Are you excited? Ok, well, my name is Minamo Kurosawa, and I'm going to be your homeroom teacher..."_

_It had such a splendid tone to it, the words uttered with this pleasant regality, a very even and formal manner of speaking. In presentation itself, it was of the kind that one would expect from a natural __orator, someone who knew how to properly address a group of people with both clarity and confidence._

_The only thing about it, however, was that it just wasn't a guy's voice._

_'Holy crap! She's awesome...!'_

_Kagura felt herself fall into wonder as she sat in the middle of the classroom, the inaugural moments of her high school experience already leaving her speechless. Their smart-looking, handsome P.E. teacher was actually a woman! _

_'Awesome, awesome, awesome!'_

_This was the first time that she had ever seen, let alone met, anyone like this Kurosawa-sensei person before, a female who appeared to be just oozing with coolness and finesse. It had been impossible to initially identify her sex from not only her boyish looks, but also from the way that she had walked and moved, not many other women that Kagura knew possessing that recognizable athletic flair to their step._

_Oh, and her personality! As Kurosawa-sensei went on with her introductory speech, Kagura could feel herself already beginning to adore this woman. She was an athlete, a former competitive swimmer, and a real lover of sports, too! She even went so far as to answer questions about her favorite teams, and then got into a light debate over the roster selection of their city's baseball franchise this year, displaying her knowledge of every player with absolutely no problem at all._

_And with every breath she spoke, this superb mix of kindness and poise was elucidated, demonstrating how affectionate her character was, of how comfortable she was to be around._

_Her discussion with her class went on like that, and the more she talked, the more that Kagura became excited. Finally, an adult woman that she could truly relate to, talk to, identify with. Someone who loved and engaged in her own hobbies as much as she did, who seemed to automatically garner respect by just simply standing there. Even the light blue track uniform that she wore invited admiration, the upturned collar-look giving this woman such a snazzy elegance._

_Yes! Kurosawa-sensei was undoubtedly and totally cool, no buts about it. Kagura could easily tell that everything about her was amazing, despite the fact that she had only known her for a handful of minutes at best. Regardless of that triviality though, Kagura was all set to get in her ear the very moment that she had the chance to. She wanted to know more about this person, her history, wanted to converse with her about all the things that she normally couldn't with most other women._

_And then, Kagura heard her laugh. It was wonderful. It was so calm and perfect, so incredibly reassuring._

_"...of course you can! I'm not that great with other subjects, but I'm always here to help." Kurosawa-sensei smiled, and temperature of the classroom struck this perfect level of warmth. "Ah, and that reminds me. Let me get back on track with the introduction for a moment..."_

_Every student listened with the utmost of intent._

_"...since I'm your homeroom teacher, that means that I'm chiefly responsible for each of you, and I'm not just talking about stuff that has to do with school. What I mean is, is that if you guys are ever really feeling down or frustrated about something, then I'm always here to help out with that, too! For example...if you need someone to listen to you about a personal problem, or you just need some advice for something outside of class, then you should definitely feel free to come talk to me. Now, I can't promise that I'll always be able to give you the right answers, but I think a lot of the time it just helps to have someone listen to you. And of course, everything between us will always be confidential, so you definitely shouldn't feel shy about approaching me, ok? I want to make sure that you kids are successful in every part of your lives, so remember that I'm always here for you, and so are all the other teachers as well! Alright, guys?"_

_The whole of the classroom nodded in unison, and Kagura could feel a current of awe swirl about the place, everyone feeling so at ease after their sensei's brief speech. This was a first year class after all, full of students who were nervous about their initial foray into this new academic world, Kagura included, but the woman before them had just so effortlessly swept all that anxiety away._

_Kurosawa-sensei smiled again, goodwill cascading out from every single crease on her cheeks. "Alright! So, where were we..."_

_Kagura had to fight herself in order to keep her rising enthusiasm contained, something that had always proven quite hard for her to do. It was just that, she had never expected to encounter someone like Kurosawa-sensei in her life, and now that she finally had, she had instantly become infatuated with her. Even though there was still a full school day ahead of her, with many other sensei's yet to be met, Kagura had still already decided that this woman was her favorite one of all time._

_And she hadn't even spoken to her yet!_

_"Sensei!"_

_Their teacher glanced over towards the voice, acknowledging a girl who had raised her hand. "Yes?"_

_"Umm...I have a question." The student grinned mischievously. "Are you maaarrrriiieeed?"_

_"...m-married?" Kurosawa-sensei began to laugh timidly. "Ah...that was fast. Um, no, I'm not..."_

_A round of murmuring went throughout the young crowd then, a few suppressed giggles coupled along with them. And, while Kagura had expected the boys of the class to show some interest in the woman's single-status, she was surprised to see that their reactions were dwarfed by the outward delight of a generous number of girls._

_"...anyway...l-let's take roll! We have a lot of stuff to go over today...!"_

_Kagura crooked her head as her chin rested in her hand, elbow planted upon her desk._

_'That was weird...'_

_The sheepishness that her sensei had just displayed had been more than obvious to notice, her silky composure having wrinkled wildly for just a second when the question had been asked. It had been an inquiry into her personal life though, so it was understandable that Kurosawa-sensei might have felt a little hesitant about answering it. Maybe she was the type that just wasn't comfortable when talking about stuff like that, or was simply a little embarrassed to admit that she was single._

_However..._

_'...meh.'_

_Kagura didn't spend too much time pondering over it. It wasn't a huge deal. She had just simply found her sensei's reaction to the question a little intriguing, but not because the __topic of 'love' had been placed on the table. __She herself had never really cared about romance or relationships, didn't really understand what all the fuss was about. To her, all that stuff just seemed like a needless burden to carry as one tried to enjoy life, like someone tying a heavy weight to their body as they prepared to freestyle on a motocross bike._

_ No, her interest had nothing to do with anything like that. __Rather, it lay within this lapse of her sensei's dialogue itself._

_ For a fraction of a heartbeat, Kagura had seen a particular emotion flash across Kurosawa-sensei's face, one that had made the woman become so eerily quiet and motionless, before all the abashment had kicked in. She was positive that what she had seen was a real occurrence as well, not something of her imagination's invention, because when she had witnessed it, the barest trickle of deja vu had gone through her._

_Kagura couldn't explain why she had experienced it, especially since she wasn't even able to put a proper name on the emotion that she had seen. But, for a reason that was completely unknown to her, it still just felt so incredibly familiar._

* * *

The cadence of the world gradually returned to its regular beat, everything moving about her in proper order again.

Kagura wasn't sure how much time had passed by since she had fallen into that strange daze. It could have been a few seconds, or a few minutes, or maybe even more. Somewhere during it all though, the woman in her arms had stopped her incessant pleading. She looked exhausted, just laying there in a heap against her, and Kagura swore that at least half of her original body weight had vanished, this person becoming like a feather to her.

And, on top of that, she had now become so strikingly quiet as well.

Outside of the dull drone of the television, the apartment had become all but silent. No more yelling or desperate cries, no subtle whimpering even, because this woman had apparently lost her desire to speak, had grown exasperated from her belligerent antics.

Kagura, however, wasn't falling for any of it, because she had finally come to understand.

She got it.

She finally,_ finally_ got it.

Got 'that', in any case...

Yes, it was true that she still didn't really know this particular individual as well as she had previously believed. Kagura was utterly confused by everything that had happened today, everything this person had related to her, and all of that was still well beyond her capabilities to properly figure out and solve.

But, as for the reason as to why this woman had suddenly clammed up, however...

..._that_ was something that Kagura _could_ comprehend now, and the answer had nothing to do with becoming tired.

_...yep._

It happened then, exactly on cue, her theory already proving itself correct.

The woman in her arms, she was now calmly pulling herself out of the embrace. She kept her head down, staying muted...

...slowly backing away from her...

...slowly retreating...

"It's cool, don't worry."

Kagura held onto her, keeping her close, not allowing her to get away.

"You don't gotta' be scared to talk to me. I mean, you already said some stuff about what's goin' on...so don't back out now, ok?"

The woman didn't respond with words, but she didn't have to, as the shiver that went through her then was more informative than any verbal response.

Kagura grinned widely down at her, deliberately speaking with her usual cheer now. "Hey, it's cool, it's cool. I'm gonna' help you out, so come on and trust me, ok?"

Another shudder left the woman, pulsing through her breaths.

"Yeah...you wanted me to help you, right? So, I'm gonna' help. Just don't be scared to talk to me, ok? I mean, I'm here to listen, but you know, it's your call whether you wanna' talk or not. But, hey, I'm here..."

A small period of silence came, the individual in front of her remaining as inert as a rock.

Kagura let go of her arms then, feeling like it was a good move to make now. "...I mean, I'm not gonna' promise that I'll have all the answers for ya', but yeah, I'm here to listen still! And that'll help! C'mon..."

The person continued to stare down at the carpet, suspended black hair hiding her face.

"...hey..."

"...I..."

She watched the woman's arms wrap around her own body then, the palm of a hand pushed against an area near her sternum, as if she were attempting to keep something inside.

"...it's just...whenever...sometimes, I want to..."

Kagura stifled her reflex to hold her again, something telling her to wait.

"...when I want to...talk to someone...about it...then...I...it hurts...and I want to...throw up..."

The words were difficult to hear, all of them coming out so softly, empty heaving weaved in between each one.

"...so...I want to talk...but it's...hard, and...because I don't want...people to know..."

"...ok. I get it."

"...because...I want them...to not think...differently..."

"...ok. Right. Ok."

"...so just...please, please don't...tell...don't tell anyone...about this. I...want help...but...I don't know, who she's told...just promise me...don't tell anyone...don't tell anyone, Kagura, please..."

"Hey, don't worry about anything. I promise I won't tell anyone. You can totally trust me! I totally swear. I mean, we're teammates, right?"

It was slight, her head stiff with indecision, but the woman nodded. "...don't...tell my friends...or anyone I know...don't...just don't..."

Kagura reclined back, loosening up her posture, her legs crossed. "I won't, I won't, don't worry, don't worry. I'm not gonna' do anything like that. I just wanna' know what's going on so I can help you, so you can feel better! Ok?"

"...y-yeah..."

"Ok...so, yeah...if you need to get somethin' out, then go ahead. Just take it easy...ok?"

The woman's shoulders moved up and down as she deeply inhaled again and again, a minute passing away. "I...I...I..."

"It's cool, it's cool. Take it easy."

"...I...yesterday, I wanted...I wanted to ask her...to go out with me."

Kagura felt her skin tingle over, the hairs on her body suddenly coating over with frost. "...you...you mean Yukari...?"

More extensive breaths came out, this person obviously spending a massive amount of effort as she struggled to keep herself together. "...that's...y-yes..."

"...ok, um, just take your time in answering. Don't rush it...I know it's tough, but...so...ok, does that mean that...that you like he-?"

_"I love her!"_

Kagura had to plant a hand on the floor to support herself, almost falling over as she was caught off guard by the shout's impact.

_Whoa...!_

Somehow, the woman before her had just recovered her real voice, and had used it to forcefully erupt a declaration that had rattled the walls of the apartment. To Kagura, it felt like she had just witnessed something burst open with immense force; an enormous amount of internal pressure that had finally found a way to release itself to the outside world, the whole of it now in plain sight.

And, just the same as with an actual explosion, there were now remnants of the blast to be seen, the woman having raised her head up to Kagura when she had shouted, her expression now in full view.

Weary eyes, moistened with apprehension.

Pale, dilapidated skin.

Jittering, nervous lips.

All of them and more were the leftover fragments, the aftermath of someone who had been kept in check with terror for so long, who was still quite obviously under its dominating reign, who had never felt its onslaught let up before.

'..._so remember...that I'm always here for you...'_

_...inhale, exhale..._

Kagura had to calculate her breathing then, something she did whenever she was about to undergo a difficult undertaking, before the start of any sort of competition or endeavor. It was her method of calming and preparing herself, to get her rhythm under control before a race started, to lessen the chances of her hesitating or making a wrong move.

Because this...this was definitely something that she could _not_ screw up in anyway whatsoever, her very first encounter with this woman named Minamo Kurosawa.


	46. Part II Chapter 46

**Author's Notes**

Hello!

Sorry for another long wait. Next chapter shouldn't take as long. Thanks for always reading! :)

~mhazaru

* * *

Part II

Chapter 46

Kagura stared down in wonder at her mentor, Kurosawa-sensei sleeping peacefully in her bed now, her light breathing providing the only real sound in the apartment.

_...yeah, at least this is ok. She does look a lot better._

Her coach had been easy to carry across the room, the woman being quite thin and light, and it was intriguing to Kagura as to how someone of her size could get so much athletic prowess from such a slender body. Today had been the first occasion in which she had ever really held her up in any sort of way, let alone lift in her arms, and it gave Kagura this new, visceral impression of the woman. She had always seen her as someone who had this large, imposing authority about her, but now, her old teacher just seemed far meeker than that ideal.

However, of course, that fresh perspective of how tenuous Kurosawa-sensei had become to her was formed by more than just her slight frame.

Kagura crossed her arms over her chest, a finger tapping against a bicep as she pondered.

_Now what am I supposed to do with you, coach? ...ha, I keep saying 'coach', but...I dunno'. It just seems like...like that name just doesn't make me seem as close to you as it used to..._

She turned around, heading towards the couch, picking up Kurosawa-sensei's discarded phone along the way. After sitting down, she then examined the item in her hand, turning it on. To her dismay though, a lock screen requesting a password popped up.

"Bleh."

With a grumble, she set the device down next to her.

_...well, even if I did get Yukari's number, it probably isn't the best idea to just call her out of the blue. No idea how she'd react to one of her old students getting involved in any of this. Not sure what the hell I'd say to her anyway, but, argh, I just wanna' fix this..._

Kagura shook her head, her eyes squaring back to her slumbering mentor.

_Man...coach...what the heck did you get yourself into? I still don't get half of what you told me..._

The whirlpool of a tale that was currently inside of her head began to swirl about with even more turbulence then. For around twenty or so minutes beforehand, Kagura had patiently listened to her coach's fractured disclosure of yesterday's events, after the woman had initially admitted that she was in love with her old friend, Yukari Tanizaki. And while she had tried to truly grasp onto every word that Kurosawa-sensei had spoken to her, the whole of it had still been so difficult to comprehend. Her speech had remained quite broken, disjointed in its explanations, solemn and quiet, and so attempting to make proper sense of it had greatly taxed Kagura's cognitive abilities.

There was one thing, however, that she had quite clearly understood: Minamo Kurosawa wasn't actually into men. She was a lesbian, and apparently had been harboring her affections for Yukari for what seemed like a very long while. But, even though that revelation had been a surprising one to Kagura, it had easily been the most digestible of everything that she had heard or experienced from this woman today. At the end of it all, Kagura didn't really care who her mentor loved, guy or gal, just so long as she was happy with her decision. Convincing Kurosawa-sensei of that fact had taken some real effort on her own part, but she believed that she had suppressed any fears the woman had in regards to exposing the reality of herself to her.

However, as to the matter of dealing with the _nature_ of that anxiety...

_...gotta' think._

She closed her eyes and laid her head back against the couch, suddenly finding herself strangely tired. Dealing with drama wasn't something that she was particularly good at, so there was a hefty amount of mental fatigue that she was now having to wrestle with. A mountain of questions still needed to be answered by her coach, and just as many details ironed out, before Kagura felt that she could begin to help this woman in any real way.

_Has she just always been like this? Maybe she's...always really been kinda' nuts? I dunno'. I'm just gonna' have to wait it out for now. Dammit'..._

At the end of her story, Kurosawa-sensei had begun to appear quite unbalanced, teetering back and forth upon the carpet. Kagura had then learned that the woman hadn't slept in a few days, supposedly due to severe nervousness about her upcoming confession at the time. That in itself had explained much about her haggard appearance, so Kagura had immediately picked her up and placed her into her bed. Within the span of a few seconds, her coach had gone out like a light.

_Yeah, crap, dunno', dunno'. But, yeah, at least she's ok for now. She seems fine. Don't know when she'll wake up, but hopefully she can talk better when she does. But right now, I guess I can try and just think about my next move._

She blew out a frustrated breath, making herself comfortable upon the couch, and relaxed as her mind began the arduous task of untangling the mess that she had just been witness to.

* * *

_..._

_Alright...I think...that I'm even more confused now than before she told me what happened yesterday._

_I couldn't get most of it. She was just all over the frickin' place. But, let's think this through slowly..._

_...that's what coach always used to tell me to do, anyway, when I didn't get something._

_..._

_Ok, so they went out to dinner. That's the first thing she said._

_Something about keys, and then a movie._

_They were watching it together, but she didn't get her chance to tell her that she liked her. Why not? I didn't get it. She said she felt sick._

_And that Yukari wanted people to die? Ok, whatever...then Yukari fell asleep from drinking._

_That's when coach said that 'one thing led to another', whatever the heck that means._

_I was really lost there...but somehow it ended up with her trying to kiss her._

_But why did she even try? I thought she was scared enough by just trying to tell Yukari her feelings, and then she tries something like that?_

_..._

_I dunno'. Maybe she was desperate. I don't get love. Maybe that's just how it is._

_Oh, but she kept saying that's what Yukari 'wanted' her to do._

_Ugh, that didn't make any sense. She was rambling. __It seriously almost sounded like she was blaming Yukari for everything._

_And somehow Yukari wasn't asleep, or she was, or not...argh, I dunno'. That part really hurt my head._

_Then she left because she was super pissed, because coach tried to kiss her, I guess. _

_Does Yukari not like gay people? I guess that could be part of it._

_But if coach never told her about herself, and then tried to make a move...I guess I'd be kinda' freaked out if someone I knew tried that, too._

_I wouldn't be angry, though. Maybe she was just wierded out?_

_Just feels like coach isn't telling me everything yet._

_That's all that I really got for now, anyway, before she went to sleep._

_..._

_Man..._

_Yeah, I'm still in the dark about a lot of things here. Maybe I'm just not a good listener...but..._

_...it was so hard to get what she was sayin'. She just sounded plain nuts._

_Well...not as nuts as before she got 'that' out, though..._

_...when she said that she was in love with Yukari._

_I think just getting that out made her feel better..._

_...which is actually the thing that confuses me the most._

_I mean, ok, I always thought she liked guys. That's what she made it seem like anyway._

_Then again...every time the topic about boyfriends and stuff came up, she seemed to act pretty strangely._

_So, after what she just told me though, she's a lesbian. So, she likes women._

_But..._

_...see..._

_...that's what I don't get._

_Ok, so she's gay. Why does that make her freak out like this so much?_

_It's not like she's doing something illegal, right? Pretty sure it's not illegal in our country. I mean, seriously, she's acting like she's been keeping a murder under wraps or somethin'._

_That's what I really don't get: w__hy she's acting so damn scared about all this?_

_ She also said I'm the first person that she's ever told that she was gay, but how can that be?_

_There must have been someone else she could have talked to before, especially if this was all driving her crazy. Does she just not want anyone, that she knows really well, to find out about her? I guess that makes sense._

_I mean, I've always felt close to coach, but I'm not like her family or some old friend or whatever._

_...ok, yeah, maybe she's scared of them knowing. Maybe they'll think she's weird or whatever and she can't deal with that._

_Actually...I don't know if the school would tolerate her that well either, if they found out. Not just the kids but the faculty and stuff...I guess that could be scary._

_But man, to be this friggin' terrified about it all? No way. I don't think anyone who's that scared would act like she just did._

_Like...just flat out insane, and saying crazy stuff, like she was on drugs. It's just bizarre, and completely different from the sensei I know._

_Screamin' and just acting plain nuts. That's...ha, that's really more like Yukari._

_Why the hell do you like her anyway, coach? That's another mystery. How could anyone fall in love with that screwball..._

_..._

_...ok, wait, just focus. What really matters here right now is why coach is acting insane. I still think there's more to this than her just being afraid of being found out._

_She just always seemed so strong, so you would figure that she'd have no problem admitting she was gay. _

_Or...I just didn't know her as well as I thought I did. _

_ And the only person who I could talk to, to learn more about my 'real' coach, is, ugh...Yukari._

_That's probably not going to work out, especially since I remember the teachers saying she was pissed off yesterday for some reason._

_Probably going to be pretty hard to talk to, if she's mad at coach._

_But she's the only one who can really solve this, right? If they make up or something? I dunno'._

_Hey...what if Yukari did something bad to her? What if she's threatening her or something with her secret now?_

_Dude, that would make a lot more sense! Yukari's always been kinda' mean..._

_...but not all the time. She's still nice, but...argh..._

_..._

_Ugh._

_I don't really know what to do._

_I don't get coach or Yukari, or really what's goin' on between them._

_But, at least coach looks fine for right now...at least._

_She's totally out cold. She must have been exhausted. That in itself would explain a lot of things. _

_She just freakin' tired._

_Especially if she's been worried about all this stuff as well..._

_..._

_...ok._

_I'll just watch her for now then, and if she starts acting crazy in her sleep or somethin', then I'll call a doctor no matter what she says._

_She made me promise not to get one, but...that's another thing I don't get. She was so scared when I mentioned getting one._

_Guess she doesn't want anyone else to find out about her, not even a damn doctor._

_..._

_Ok, ok._

_Coach said she wasn't on drugs or anything, so just trust her for now. I think that's all she really wants. Just someone to trust and talk to._

_And that someone ended up being me..._

_But..._

_...I think in the long run, I might have to get someone else to help out here anyway, since she said she's not leaving the apartment or going to work._

_She's that damn scared about seeing Yukari, and whether anyone else knows about her now. She doesn't want to go outside because of that._

_I mean, she wanted me to practically kidnap Yukari and bring her back here so that she couldn't spill the beans. Come on..._

_..._

_...anyway, yeah, she can't just stay here. And there's no way I'm leaving her alone like this._

_Some of the stuff she was saying earlier really freaked me out... I didn't like that at all._

_...I think it's best, yeah._

_ Not like I'm super busy now, anyway. I mean, even if I was, I'd still ditch it all for coach._

_I'll stick around. Yeah..._

_...that's all I can do for now. _

_Then, I'll think of what to do next while I'm here._

* * *

"...whoa..."

Kagura let out a large yawn, stretching her arms over her head. Her eyes were tingling, and she realized that she had just dozed off for a few moments.

She pushed herself off the couch, glancing towards the bed. Kurosawa-sensei was still fast asleep, and upon closer inspection, Kagura saw that her breathing was still perfectly fine. There really didn't appear to be anything physically wrong with her, besides how exhausted she looked, and that notion brought her some relief.

_Yeah, she's ok. Don't worry. But, now, if I'm gonna' be staying here..._

Kagaru pulled out her phone, dialing a number as she began to pace about the apartment.

"...yeah, Mom? It's me..."

It wasn't a long chat, Kagura simply informing her parent that she would be spending the night at a friend's house, requiring the car while she stayed over. Her mother explained that she didn't need the vehicle until tomorrow evening, so her daughter was free to use it for now.

_Ok, that was easy. Next, I bette-_

Her grumbling stomach finished the thought for her.

_...guess I should get the address from outside. Oh, wait, nevermind!_

Kagura went over to the dining table, some of Kurosawa-sensei's mail upon it. After gleaning the woman's address from one of the letters, she looked up a nearby ramen restaurant on her phone and then called them up, ordering a massive amount of takeout to be delivered to the apartment; she would humbly admit to anyone that her appetite was fairly insane, given her athletic lifestyle, and she knew full well that she'd destroy her coach's fridge if she let herself into it.

_Yeah...would totally feel guilty if I cleaned her out, especially since I'm the one who's choosing to stay here. Plus, I didn't really eat anything after practice today, and hey, I haven't had take out in awhile, either! Anyway, ok...so how about clothes and stuff, then?_

After another look at her mentor, Kagura decided that she could make due without any supplies from home. She really didn't want to leave the woman alone for now if she could help it, and if it came down to it, she could probably borrow something from her wardrobe to wear if she really needed.

_She's a lot skinnier than me though, so that might not be so great. Eh, it's just one night. I can wear what I got on. Oh, hey, what if...?_

The intention quickly left her as she recalled her promise to Kurosawa-sensei. For a second, Kagura had the idea of calling up one of her friends to bring some clothes over for her, but figured she'd then have to explain what she was doing at their former sensei's apartment. She could make up a reason of course, but realized that it might be better to keep anyone else out of the situation for now, especially if her coach happened to be awake at the time.

She went over to the woman's bed then, frowning down at her.

_...maybe I'll talk to her about that when she gets up. If I can get some others to help out with this, like other kids she liked, then that'd make this whole thing a lot easier to deal with. 'cause, right now...what can I do? If she freaks out again or stays here all day, that's not gonna' be good for anyone. I gotta' get her back on her feet somehow, and ugh, the tournament! I completely forgot about that. I'm gonna' have to set things up for tomorrow quick, maybe even the rest of the week..._

She sighed to herself.

_Whatever...just take it easy for now, coach. We'll take care of it all, don't worry. _

Her skin was cool, Kagura touching the woman's bare arm with a hand now.

_And somehow...I'll get you feelin' good again, too. I'll stick with you all the way here, just you like you always do for everyone else, and we'll get this whole crazy mess solved together._

Kagura watched the woman rest for the better part of a minute then, coming to remember all the occasions in which her coach had helped light the way through her own darkest hours. But as she reminisced about the past, recalling how wonderful she felt when her role model had taken interest in her problems, that old, sparkling image of Kurosawa-sensei now began to make her feel so oddly sad.


	47. Part II Chapter 47

**Author's Notes**

Hiyo!

Next chapter will be out *very* soon, as in a 'few days' soon. Also, thanks to RPPuzzle for helping me edit!

~mhazaru

* * *

Part II

Chapter 47

Soft morning light struck the woman's back as it fell through the window, highlighting Kurosawa-sensei's frazzled hair and making it look like a nest of neon filaments. Her appearance as a whole was in somewhat equal disarray as well: her face still incredibly groggy, her eyelids struggling to stay open, the shirt she wore while sleeping so wrinkled and unkempt.

However, even though she was hardly the image of someone in their best condition, Kagura was still delighted with her coach's demeanor nonetheless.

_Yeah, she looks tons better now. Tons better than yesterday..._

The very moment that she had heard the shuffling of sheets, Kagura had rushed over to the bed, now sitting on the edge of it as she watched the woman slowly wake up. Kurosawa-sensei seemed fairly disoriented after sleeping for such a long time, but much of the previous bleakness in her face had vanished at least, her complexion as a whole much healthier looking as well. "...morning, coach!"

Her mentor looked surprised to hear another person in her apartment, quickly glancing up at Kagura with tired eyes. "...h-hello? Morning...?"

Kagura smiled. "How you feeling?"

"...why...are you here...?"

"Oh, uh, I stayed the night."

"...what? Why?"

"Ah...I just wanted to make sure that you were ok after yesterday, coach. Sorry to just make a call like that...but I was worried about you. But hey, tell me if you're ok or not now. You're not feeling, like, sick or anything?"

The question didn't appear to make immediate sense to her, a perplexed look on the woman's face. "...no."

"So you feel ok then, right? Not...I dunno' what to call it, but you just feel 'normal', right?"

Minamo blinked at her a few times. "...yes...?"

"Ok...good! _Great!_" Kagura exhaled loudly. "Man, you were out since yesterday afternoon, coach! You slept like a baby. I mean like, damn, I wish I could sleep as well as you did. Um...ok, so first...you really need a shower, no offense. Want me to help you to the bathroom? Oh, I used your shower myself too, so...uh, sorry if that bugs you or anything. I used one of your towels and stuff..."

"Kagura, what day is it...?"

"It's Tuesday morning, coach. And, um...and you gotta' get to work soon..."

The confused look on Kurosawa-sensei's face continued on for a bit. But then, comprehension suddenly flooded it, and it grew pale as she ducked her head down. "Did...you get Yukari...?"

Kagura sighed. _So much for starting this off easy._ "Coach, remember, we talked about this yesterday already. And even if I had gone to get her when you wanted me to, she'd probably be gone from school anyway. And what would I do if she didn't wanna' come? Look, coach, you _have_ to go to work and talk to Yukari yourself. That's what you have to do today, ok? You need to make up with her, so you need to-"

_"No!"_

Kagura ground her teeth. "Why not? Are you still scared to see her?"

Kurosawa-sensei leaned back against the wall then, turning her body slightly as gloom rained down on her.

_...man. _"Coach, are you going to work today or not?"

"...I asked you to help, and you didn't..."

"...look, I'm trying to hel-"

_"I'm not going outside."_

There was a feeble sort of rage in her voice now, and it gave Kagura a clear indication that the terror this woman had experienced yesterday was still with her, even after such a long rest. "...call Yukari, coach. Did you call her yesterday? You didn't tell me if you did or not. Either way, you need to talk to her yourself. That's what you gotta' do. I mean, that's why I can't force her here, coach. You really think she'd be happy about me knowing what happened? I'd just make things worse..."

Minamo huddled herself against the wall, just staring emptily at the adjacent one, a hand over her chest. "I'm never leaving...everyone hates me."

_"...c_all Yukari, coach. Or call her some time today and just talk to her if you haven't tried. Maybe Yukari's not as mad at you as you think she is..."

No response, no movement of her body.

Kagura shook her head in frustration. "Hey, what about the tournament? There's a lot of work that we gotta' take care of for it. You have to go for that at least, coach. Come on." She furrowed her brow as Kurosawa-sensei kept ignoring her. "Coach...why are you so scared of her anyway? She's your best friend, right? I'm sure you guys can make up about yesterday...I bet she doesn't hate you because you like women or something, or even if you tried to kiss her. Seriously, did you even call her? Hello...?"

"...she hates me."

"How do you know that, though?"

"She always has..."

Kagura couldn't help but become puzzled then, not just from Kurosawa-sensei's odd words, but also by how far her behavior had just seemed to regress now. It was like she was conversing with a child that had drifted off into her own world, her coach just staring off into space.

_...it's not as bad as yesterday, but this still isn't going anywhere. _

"...coach, ok. It's fine. You can stay here, but I'm gonna' go to school and get practice started, and then I'll be back. Um...I ordered a lot of take out yesterday too, and it's in the fridge if you want any. But anyway, I'll be back soon, ok? Like, make sure you eat something. Or do you want me to fix you up a plate now? You must be hungry, coach."

Again, Kurosawa-sensei remained quiet, oblivious to her.

"...ok, I'll do that before I go. Oh, also..." Kagura looked down for a second, and then lifted her eyes back up to the woman with some hesitance. "...by the way, I have a quick question for you. So...when I go to school, let's say...that if I do run into Yukari there, then what do you want me to do? I mean, outside of kidnapping her..."

The woman's eyes opened with concern at the notion, her attention suddenly ripped out from whatever it had been trapped in. Her hand went to her head then, as if she now had a headache. "Everyone knows now, so it doesn't matter. Everything's over. I can't go anywhere..."

Kagura frowned. "...look...you don't know what Yukari's done yet. Since you aren't calling her or anything, you don't know if she's told people about you or not. Don't you think it's silly to just give up like that? Coach, listen, there's one thing I can do for you, ok? I was thinking about this yesterday. I can at least go see how things at school are while I'm there. I mean, if none of the staff or whatever knows you're gay, then doesn't that mean Yukari hasn't told anyone yet? You could still make up with her before...I don't know, before she spills the beans or whatever. But why would she even do that in the first place? That's what I don't get, coach."

"...because I just know."

"_How_ do you know? Come on...Yukari's an asshole, sure, but why would she just go and rat you out to people because you guys had a fight or whatever? Especially with something that you're so protective about. She wouldn't do that...and hey, you used to tell me how nice she was to you sometimes. She's your best friend, right? She won't turn on you, coach..."

"...Kagura..."

"Yeah?"

The woman's head shifted up slightly. "...I appreciate what you're saying. And...I'm glad that I could tell you about myself...but...I...I'm not..."

Kagura leaned in closer, trying to hear her low voice. "...you...you're not what?"

Kurosawa-sensei appeared to think about something for a decent while then. "...everyone...really does think poorly of Yukari, don't they...?"

"...uh..." Kagura's face scrunched up with confusion at the conversation's strange path. "...well, _yeah_. Duh. I mean, no offense to her or anything, but she's just...I mean, I like her, but it's really hard to do sometimes."

Another short pause. "...ok, then. I'll...I'd appreciate it...if you can go and check things out for me like you suggested, Kagura."

"...oh! _Yeah!_ Coach, I can totally do that!" She smiled, elated from not only _finally_ feeling useful in this entire predicament, but also by how talkative Kurosawa-sensei was becoming. "Seriously, just leave it to me! I'll get a feel for everything as soon as I get there. I'll text you as soon as I find out anything, too. Oh, I put your phone up there by the way. " She pointed to the device as it sat on the windowsill above the bed. "Just keep it near you, ok?"

"Ok."

Kagura crossed her arms. "Also...coach, for Yukari...if I see her, I could at least chat with her and see how she's feeling as well. Like, I'll totally play dumb about everything, but hey, if she's not too pissed off, then maybe things can still work out coach? Right? Like, I think you'd feel better about talking to her? Seriously, I bet Yukari is over everything by now. She must miss you tons!"

"...I'll trust whatever you do, Kagura."

She felt her chest inflate with pride from the vote of confidence. "O-ok, coach! Ok, but, are you gonna' be alright here alone?"

"...I'll be fine. I just...I need...to think about things..."

Kagura patted her shoulder. "Ok, ok. No problem. Just keep your spirits up! Oh, hey, let me get you some grub like I was saying."

With that, she stood up and made her way over into the kitchen. She soon came out with a microwaved bowl of ramen and vegetables, a glass of water as well, and then everything down next to the bed. "Make sure that you eat up, coach. Ok?"

"...ok..."

Kagura bit her lip as she studied the woman for a moment then, noticing that her mood had just abruptly changed.

_...she's still acting weird, but not insane at least. She seemed like she was getting better a minute ago, but now she seems kinda' bummed out again. But...I think she'll be fine. I'll only be gone for about two or three hours, anyway. That's not too long. And when I get back, I'll try and get some more stuff cleared up from yesterday as well._

Without further delay, she walked towards the apartment entrance, picking up a duffel bag that she had fetched from her car yesterday. She then eyed the dining table.

_...I should probably take 'em. She still seems pretty paranoid, so I really don't know if she'd let me back in._

"...coach...I'm gonna' borrow your apartment keys, ok? I'll take care of them, don't worry. I'm just taking them in case...you're sleeping or something when I get back. Sound good?"

The woman didn't respond, just laying against the wall.

_...don't expect too much for now, I guess. She's fine. Just keep cool._

Kagura picked up the keys from the table. "Ok, I'll be back, coach! Just be sure to take it easy. If you need anything, then call me. Ok, coach?"

No response yet again, but Kagura let it go for now. She walked to the door, slipped her sandals on, and then placed her hand on the lock.

"Kagura."

"...yeah, coach?" She turned around, surprised at the sudden call for her.

"... can you come here, please?"

_...uh, ok._

She removed her sandals before returning to her coach's bed. "What's up?"

Her mentor tilted her head to her, her stare looking past Kagura. "...I wanted...to tell you this yesterday."

"...yeah?"

"Please stop calling me 'coach'."

Kagura stepped back a bit, her heart feeling like it had just been punched straight through. "Wh-_what_...?"

Kurosawa-sensei paused before speaking again, her tone still meek, yet sturdier than before. "...I'm not...your coach anymore. I'm not your teacher, either. And you're not a kid. You're an adult. You're a close friend that I work with...and that I can talk to, so please call me by my first name from now on."

The words digested slowly inside of Kagura's head, but eventually, she extracted the true worth from them, her ego now swelling up like it never had before.

_'...close friend...'_

She didn't bother to try and hide the enormous grin that had burst onto her face, knowing it was impossible for her to do so in any case. "Oh...ok! Sure...sure I can do that...Minamo."

The woman's head slipped back to where it previously was, Kurosawa-sensei appearing to stare off into nothingness again. "...thanks."

"...uh...ok, s-see ya in a few! See ya' in a few, Minamo!"

Kagura wanted to say so much more then, sheer gratitude and admiration about ready to explode out from her. For a moment, she had felt like she was in the presence of the old Kurosawa-sensei, the one whose praise always filled her with incredible joy, the one that she had always looked up to for everything.

She managed to control her emotions for now, however, knowing that she had an important task that she needed to fulfill.

Without another word, she made her way back to the door, preparing to leave once more.

_...I gotta'..._

Despite the dour mood of the apartment and situation as a whole, Kagura still began to shiver with pure happiness nonetheless, an amazing amount of determination now radiating out from her.

_I gotta' find Yukari. I got to now. I can't let...I can't let Minamo down. No way. No way, man. I'm gonna' fix this. I'm gonna' fix this whole damn thing myself._


	48. Part II Chapter 48

**Author's Notes**

Yo!

Chapter pic in my profile! Thanks to RPPuzzle for editing assistance again!

~mhazaru

* * *

Part II

Chapter 48

Kagura stood in front of the door to the faculty office, having bolted her way straight up here the very moment that she had arrived on campus. She only had about half an hour to accomplish her task this morning, the swim club's practice starting by then, and so didn't have much time to waste.

_Ok, so, if my guess is right..._

After taking a few deep breaths, she slid the door open just a crack, peeking inside.

_...yep! I was right. That's why I could never find her in the afternoon. She's been coming in early to leave early. Well, early for her, anyway..._

That raging torrent of wavy, hazel hair had always been impossible to miss. Sitting at her same messy desk as always, her forehead planted straight down onto the cover of a textbook, was her old English teacher, Yukari Tanizaki.

_The heck? Is she sleeping? Man, right in the middle of everyone else, too. Whatever. Let's give this a shot._

With cautious steps, Kagura began to make her way across the floor of the office, thankful that the other present teachers hadn't taken much notice of her. She would chat with a few of them soon enough, but right now, her priority was Yukari.

_Ok, here we go..._

Kagura was standing behind her now. She steeled herself, feeling some sudden nervousness creep into her. "...hey! Yukari! Are you awake?"

There was no immediate reaction to her words, Yukari remaining in her lazy, comatose posture. But eventually, the woman sat herself up, moving with an incredible sluggishness as she did. She was now arching her neck over the back of her chair, looking on at her old student with an upside-down face.

It was difficult to get a real feel of her expression since she was oriented strangely, but if Kagura was reading it correctly, then the woman appeared quite aggravated. "Yukari! Hey, it's me!" She waved at her cheerfully, a huge smile on her face.

Yukari's eyes narrowed sharply, scrutinizing her visitor with great intent, before they opened back up with recognition. "Oh, it's you, kid."

"Uh...yeah..."

"My greatest signing."

"...huh?"

With the same lethargic speed that she had used to lift her head off the table, Yukari righted herself up, letting out a huge, overly dramatic sigh of annoyance afterward. She then swiveled her chair halfway around, shooting out a hand at her. "Put 'er there, Kagura."

Kagura took the gesture with hesitation, shaking her hand. "Hey...yeah, good to see you, too..."

Yukari let go. "So...whadda' ya' want? You want back in school?"

"What? _No!" _Kagura spread her arms out, gesturing for an embrace. "I...Yukari! I came here to see _you_! I've been trying to find you since last week. I just wanted to see how you were doing."

"Oh. Yeah. I'm fine. Well, thanks for comin', kid. Good luck out there." The woman flung out a quick farewell salute before spinning her chair back around, returning her forehead to the top of her book.

"...Yukari." Kagura's arms fell with disappointment. "Come on...I came here to see my old homeroom teacher. Hey, I just wanna' catch up with you a bit. I mean, it's been a few months since I've seen you."

Her voice came out muffled as she talked into the book cover. "I'm a teacher. I'm busy."

"Yukari...come on. You're just tryna' sleep..."

"I'm reading."

"...hey, come on, stop foolin' around. Let's chat a little! Come on. I mean...I really missed seeing you, Tanizaki-sensei."

The formal sentiment appeared to hit home, Yukari now rolling her head back and forth as it lay. "Fine, fine, fine..." She pushed herself out of the chair and stood up, gradually turning to face her. "So, ok...yeah, how ya' doin', kid?"

Kagura collected herself for a moment as she planned out her response, taking in the woman that she hadn't seen for a while at the same time. Yukari was donned in her usual style of attire, a dress shirt with a long skirt today, and Kagura had to always admit that her old teacher did look pretty good in her outfits. It was a fairly simple thing for her to do in any case, given how naturally attractive Yukari was, and if the woman didn't have such an erratic personality, then her looks alone would have propelled her to real stardom on campus.

Unfortunately, however, it seemed like that infamous temperament of hers was on full display at the moment, just in the same way her coworkers had described it yesterday. Yukari was trying to downplay it, but Kagura could plainly see that her sensei was in one of her terrible moods: her brows were weighted with what seemed like scorn, an equally heavy grimace paired along with it.

Kagura smiled as she responded. "Oh...uh...well, life is going pretty good. I'll be off to college pretty soon. I'm super stoked about it, but I'll kinda' be bummed to move outta' town, though..."

"Yeah, them's the breaks, kid."

"...yeah. But, I guess that should be fun in itself, too! Never really been out on my own..."

For the next few minutes, Kagura went over the details of her upcoming educational foray, talking about her summer so far as well, and she was delighted to see that Yukari was actually starting to enjoy the conversation. By all appearances, she did seem genuinely pleased to see that one of her old students was faring well, the better side of her beginning to show through as she smiled here and there, cracked a few jokes, even chuckled a bit. Kagura, in turn, returned the warm affections, remembering how much she really did enjoy this particular woman beneath all her faults, as no one could make her laugh like Tanizaki-sensei could.

"...but, yeah, it really is cool! I get to be on their swim team also..._oh!_ Hey, I forgot to tell you: I'm an assistant coach for the swim team here now, too!"

"Yeah, I heard." Yukari considered something for a moment. "Can you open the pool?"

"...sorry, but you can't get in there, Yukari." She chuckled. "Man, remember the last time that you got in there without permission? Seriously, Minamo pretty much had...h-had..."

_...whoa._

Kagura fought to keep her words from faltering then, having become truly shocked at the transformation that had just taken place before her. The very instant that she had mentioned Minamo's name, Yukari had entered what she could only describe as a state of seething rage. Her amused face had given way to one that was now filled with a killer menace, and there was this subtle, yet terrifying, viciousness about her entire character as well, as if Kagura had just witnessed the threat of a blade being slightly pulled out from its sheath.

And yet, despite the physical advantage that she clearly had over the thinner woman, Kagura had still instinctively taken a small step back away from her.

"...had...had a heart attack..."

Yukari didn't respond.

"...something wrong, Yukari?"

"No."

The woman had made no effort to hide the animosity that was now in her voice, Kagura blinking in surprise from how obvious she was making it sound. "Um. Right." She scratched the back of her head, thinking. "Umm...hey! Speaking...of Minamo...she wasn't here yesterday. So...I gave her a call, and she said she's really sick. She sounded really bad, and she's not coming in today either. Did you know that?"

Yukari just shrugged.

"...you didn't?"

"Nope."

"Oh. Well...like I was saying...I dunno', she just didn't sound like herself at all. Like, she was really depressed I think. I was getting really worried about her, but she didn't really talk about it much. But, I just figured that she'd tell you if something was wrong with her or not."

"She didn't."

"...ok, but, aren't you worried about her too, though?"

"Nope."

"Uh, why not?"

"'cause I don't care."

"...seriously? You're not worried about what's up with her, especially if she can't come to work?"

"Nope."

Kagura frowned. "Hey, that's not cool. You should give her a call at least to see how she's doing. She really didn't sound good at all. You could cheer her up or something..."

"If it's killin' you that much, then you go babysit her." Yukari began to turn around. "If you're done yappin', then I'm gonna' get back to work. "

"...dude, that's so not cool, Yukari. She's your friend, and you're ju-"

_"She's not my fuckin' friend."_

Kagura brought up her hands in defense as the woman swirled back towards her with anger. "Hey! Hey! Whoa...what's wrong, Yukari? Why are you gettin' mad?"

"'cause _I ain't_ her damn friend, and it really pisses me off whenever people think I am, _'cause I'm not,_ you got me?"

"_Wh-what?_ Come on. After all the stuff she always does for you, how the heck can you say that you're not her friend?"

Yukari snarled. "Don't act like you know all about us, 'cause you don't."

"Yeah, right! Everyone knows she's always looking out for you, and then you go and say stuff like that..."

"I'm gonna' tell you one more time, kid: don't talk like you know anythin' about us."

"...look, whatever. All I know is that Minamo's not doing well, and that you don't care about her."

"Yeah, you're right. I don't give a fuck about that piece of shit, so get lost already."

"...you know, Yukari..."

"_What?_"

"...I think..." Kagura felt her fists clench tightly at her sides. "...I think you say some really, _really_ stupid crap sometimes, but..." She took a step closer. "...don't _ever_ call my coach something like that again."

Yukari leaned forward, her head crooked. "Oh _yeah_? And why's that?"

"...just don't do it."

"I'll talk about that piece of shit however I wanna'."

"...you're really pushin' it now..."

"You wanna' make me stop then, cronie?"

"_Yeah_."

"_Fine, th-_"

''Tanizaki-sensei, let's go into my office for a few minutes, shall we?"

Both women glanced to their sides in surprise, neither of them having noticed the vice-principal coming to stand next to them, nor all the heads that had turned towards their rising voices.

Yukari grunted in fury, glared menacingly at her old student, and then slowly followed the elder man out of the room and into the hallway.

And then, as soon as they were out of sight, Kagura released her breath.

_...holy...crap._

Kagura felt the tension in her chest begin to unwind then, only now realizing how much absolute outrage had exploded in her during that short chat. It had taken everything she had to control herself when Yukari had insulted her mentor, and she couldn't recall a time when she had _ever_ experienced this much anger before. She was sweating now, her still jaw shaking as the adrenaline continued to course through her, her heart still pumping wildly from the rush of blood.

_What...what the hell was that, man?_

A grimace made its way across her face as she began to calm down, her mind frantically attempting to comprehend everything that had just happened.

_...I mean...I knew Yukari might be mad still. Sure, but...holy, holy crap, man! She looked scary as hell...like, like she wanted to freaking kill Minamo. But, why? Just because she's gay? Or because she tried to kiss her? No way...that can't be it. Dude, what the hell happened between those two? Seriously...I've never seen anyone that pissed off before in my life...holy crap..._

She settled her breathing, wiping away some perspiration on her face with a forearm.

_But damn...crap. Whatever's goin' on, I blew it still. I blew it. I don't know what the hell just happened, but I blew it. I thought I could get her to feel bad at least, and maybe get her to call Minamo. But, argh, I think I just made things a lot worse, __and now Yukari's pissed at me too. Yeah, I screwed up. Dammit'...dammit', now what the hell am I supposed to do? I couldn't get her to call Minamo, and Minamo won't come here to see her either. Crap, crap, crap...I'm no good at stuff like this. Why did I even try? Idiot, Kagura, you stupid, damn idiot..._

"Are you alright, Kagura?"

She looked behind her as a hand clasped her shoulder, smiling when she saw one of her other old teachers standing behind her, a woman who had taught her science classes. "Oh...hey, sensei! I didn't see you in here."

"I just came back from the restroom. I heard something when I was in the hallway, and then I saw Yukari yelling at you. But, are you alright? You look a little shaken."

Around them, the rest of the faculty returned to their original activities. "Yeah, I'm ok, sensei. I...I just got a little worked up..."

"That's fine. Don't worry. But, what was all that about?"

Kagura sighed. "...just a stupid argument. Kind of a long story. Well, not really long, but..."

"Well, whatever happened, Yukari can't just be yelling at people like that." The woman shook her head with some disgust. "That girl. She hasn't changed at all. She's still the same old ball of anger that she always was..."

"Huh? Oh...wait, did you used to be one of her teachers, sensei?"

"Well...not directly, anyway. I was just an assistant in their lab classes at the time. But I remember her behavior from back then pretty well. She hasn't grown up at all." Her sensei put on a charming smile, her appearance as a whole pleasant and mature. "Anyway, Kagura, come and sit down with me for a bit! I was just about to take my breakfast downstairs. The A/C is always so terrible up here. But, come with me, I want to hear how you've been...and I'd like to get the dirt on what just went down, of course."

Kagura managed to chuckle, doing her best to suppress the aftereffects of the harrowing incident. "Oh...hey, sure, sensei. But, I can't stay for too long, though."

The woman waved away her concerns. "You can take it easy once in a while, especially after dealing with Yukari. Oh, do you like iced coffee? I'll make some for you..."

* * *

_Man, this place always feels weird when no one else is around..._

Kagura sat down with her sensei at one of the tables in the school cafeteria, looking about her with a bit of awe as she did. The large room had been empty when they had arrived, and seeing it in a barren state was always a bit of a strange experience to her. She was used to the place being quite lively, boys and girls sitting about everywhere with their trays of food, stuffing their faces as they loudly conversed.

_I think that's what it really is, actually. It just freaks me out whenever it's so quiet in here._

"Is it cold enough for you?"

Kagura smiled as she took a sip of her drink, her companion at the table seated across from her. "Oh, yeah, it's great, sensei! Awesome drink for summer."

"Don't I know it. I hate summer, so a cold drink keeps my spirits up." She opened up a bento box that she had brought with her. "But anyway, keep going, Kagura."

"...oh! Yeah...yeah, I'm pretty excited. It should be fun to move out and be on my own...well, not exactly on my own. I'll have a roommate, I mean, but, you know what I mean..."

"Yes, I get you. No worries. Well, I'm certainly glad to hear that your future is shaping up well. You were definitely one of my more fun students to have around, Kagura, so be sure to keep your sense of humor with you at all times." The woman began to dig into her meal, some rice and fried eggs.

Kagura chuckled with embarrassment. "Hey, thanks...well, you made it fun, sensei. No offense to the others, but if you weren't my teacher then I'd have killed myself from boredom in the lab..."

The woman joined in her laughter. "Well, I'm glad you enjoyed my lessons. Oh, by the way, I heard from some other students that you were helping our swim team out?"

"Oh...yeah. Min-...Kurosawa-sensei got me to be her assistant coach. That's actually where I have to be soon, to get the practice started. Anyway, it's been pretty fun so far...but kinda' weird, too, 'cause I'm kinda' bossing around my friends, ha ha..."

Another laugh. "Yes, it's always a little surreal when you have to manage people that you've known for awhile. Probably odder than when you don't know them, in my opinion."

"Yeah, well, I think I got used to it. It's a pretty good experience, too. And working with Kurosawa-sensei is awesome! She's always been really cool, so it's a total blast to work side-by-side with her."

"Oh, that girl's an angel, Kagura. She's a real blessing to this school." The woman rolled her eyes. "Not like _some_ other faculty members around here, one in particular..." She shook her head sadly. "I'm sorry that Yukari got upset with you. So, what was that whole thing about, anyway?"

"...ah...well, Kurosawa-sensei's been absent since yesterday. I...I gave her a call, and she said she was pretty sick and feeling down about something. So, I asked Tanizaki-sensei if she could call her to cheer her up I guess, but then she sorta' got mad...umm..." She looked down at her drink on the table. "...I think they had a fight or something, so they aren't talking to each other. And...I guess I lost my cool with some stuff, too..."

"It's alright. I'm sure Yukari's at fault for everything, in any case. She's a bundle of trouble. Anyway, I wouldn't worry about Minamo. I didn't know she was sick, but she'll be back up to speed in no time. It's not easy to keep a hard worker like her down for long."

"Oh...so...you guys haven't heard anything about her, either?"

"No. Well, at least I haven't. She might have called in with administration."

"...and Tanizaki-sensei didn't talk about her either? Like...you know, they usually carpool together, so I figured she might have let others know that Kurosawa-sensei was out..."

"Not really. She's actually been sort of quiet this week. She hasn't said much to anyone."

"...ah, ok. Umm, actually, speaking of Tanizaki-sensei...is...she...?"

"She'll get reprimanded as usual. She won't get fired, don't worry. She's done far worse things before than yelling at people in the office."

_...whew._ "Oh, ok, ok. Yeah...ha, I just didn't wanna' be the one to get her in _real_ trouble. She'd come after me then...oh, hey! You were saying before, sensei, that you used to teach them both when they went to school here?"

"Oh, I wasn't a full-time teacher at the time, remember? I was just a lab tech, but I had them in my classes for three years." Another sad shake of the head. "I've seriously never understood how Minamo became friends with that girl. They were like night and day...they _still_ are like night and day. It's just always baffled me."

Kagura put on a flaky smile. "Yeah...I mean, I don't mind Tanizaki-sensei. She's nuts, but, she's nice too, sometimes...but, yeah, I guess it's hard to see why they hang out with each other."

"They always go drinking together, too. And then the next day, they'll be fighting in the office about something silly. Oh, well. Friendship is a strange thing."

"...can I ask you a question, sensei?"

"Well, of course."

She kept watching her drink on the table, beads of condensation now peppering it. "...how was Kurosawa-sensei in school?"

The woman looked up, savoring her own iced coffee as she finished her meal. "Pardon?"

"Oh, I mean...I was just wondering how Kurosawa-sensei used to be in high school. Like, was she always like how she is now? You know...really enthusiastic and stuff...always going out of her way to help people, and stuff like that."

"No."

Kagura shifted in her seat. "Wow, _really_?"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to infer that she wasn't like that at all. No, no." Her sensei waved a hand about. "She was always a nice student. But she was very shy in her first year and kept to herself a lot. She had some personal troubles, I guess, and so she was always a bit low-key because of them."

"...she had troubles? Umm...can I ask what was wrong?"

"To be honest, I'm not really sure what was wrong, but I remember that she had some consultations with her homeroom teacher about whatever it was, though. It was all private stuff, so I never found out the details. Anyway, I was worried about her at the time because of that, but she seemed to just completely change later on. That really made me happy to see. She became much more outgoing, and even became pretty popular, too. But then again, she was always a good athlete, though, so that might have been somewhat inevitable." She put on a playful sneer. "_Complete_ opposite of Yukari. That girl just seemed to get worse as the school years went by. Always getting in more and more trouble. She's calmer compared to back then I guess, but not really. What I mean is, is if you give someone like her a paycheck, then they'll start to behave a little in order to get another one."

Kagura chuckled. _Sounds like Yukari, alright._ "Yeah, I totally get you on that, but, man...I never knew that about Kurosawa-sensei. All the students are always interested in knowing more about her, but...um...she doesn't really like talking about herself much..."

"She's very modest, so that's understandable."

"...yeah, I guess that's true. But, anyway! I'm glad she got help when she needed it, but...ha. So she used to be really shy, huh? I guess I can kinda' see it, now that I think about it..."

Her sensei shrugged. "She's still a little timid here and there. It's so funny, because when she is, she reminds me a lot of her first year version. She's such a sweetheart, though, and really gifted when it comes to dealing with students. We need more teachers like her, Kagura. No, we need more _people_ like her, period."

She nodded. "Yeah...she's totally awesome. That's so cool that you remember her pretty well, too, sensei."

"Well, I've always been fond of her. I guess you could say she left an impression on me back then. She's one of my favorite success stories from this school, really. That typical caterpillar-into-a-butterfly thing, you know? I mean, everyone loves her now, and she deserves it. I really can't say enough about her."

"Oh, heck yeah! I've never met anyone who didn't love her either. Well, Tanizaki-sensei has problems with her..."

"It's just a simple case of jealousy. She has an ego problem, Kagura. Oh, the crazy things she demands at our staff meetings..."

Kagura smiled awkwardly. "...but she's not all bad, sensei. I know I'm saying that after she just kinda' went nuts, but...but I think kids do generally like her. She's pretty funny...and we used to talk to her about games and movies and stuff all the time. I dunno', I guess we just identified with her a little, like, she knows how to have a real good time and joke around and stuff."

"Is that so?" The woman thought to herself for a moment. "I suppose that's true. That's probably one reason as to why she hasn't gotten the boot yet. I know her students actually do very well in her classes, so you all must get along with her somehow. Well, I suppose I'm being a bit harsh on her. Yes, she's not _all_ bad. She teaches English itself well. She's just difficult to work with...and obviously has some attitude problems."

"Yeah..." Kagura looked aside. "...I've always wondered...why she gets angry a lot. I wish she didn't..."

"...I don't know for sure, either, Kagura. Like I said, it's probably an ego thing. But, I suppose that's one reason why Minamo chooses to be around her. She's always the one to take on the toughest jobs, if you know what I mean. She's too caring sometimes."

She chuckled. "...actually...she told me once that they were best friends."

"_Get out of here, Kagura_. Really?"

"Yeah. It's..." A frown came on her face. "...umm...you know...I don't know what Tanizaki-sensei thinks, but...Kurosawa-sensei says...she says that she really enjoys being her friend. I dunno', she just likes her for some reason...and gets along with her the best, I guess..."

Her sensei snickered. "Sounds like a typical couple."

"...ha...wha'?"

"Oh, I just meant that couples fight like they do all the time, but most of them still get along. I guess they're like that. It's a funny way to look at it, but it fits. ...yes, I do remember occasions when they really seemed to enjoy each other's company back then. I was focusing more on the negative, I suppose." She began to chuckle again, relaxing back in her chair now. "But was Minamo talking about being best friends now, or since back in the day?"

Kagura tilted her head. "Huh? Oh, oh...I get it. Yeah, she said they've been best friends since high school."

"...now that really is a surprise to me!" The woman stared at the ceiling as she spoke. "I mean, well, yes, of course I knew that they were _friends_ in high school, but 'best friends'? I'd have never guessed that they were the closest out of those three, but they _are_ pretty inseparable..."

"Yeah? Well, I...w-w-wait! Those _three_...?"

"Oh, sorry, yes. Those two used to hang out with another girl all the time as well. Well, of course another girl, it was an all-girl's school back then. Anyway, she always seemed like she was the closest one to Minamo from my perspective." The woman drank from her cup. "Her name was Eiko."


	49. Part II Chapter 49

Part II

Chapter 49

Kagura fussed with the apartment keys for a few moments, forgetting which one opened the door.

_...bam! Here we go._

She placed the proper key into the lock, pushing open the entrance once it had clicked, and then stepped inside her mentor's home. "Hey, Minamo! I'm back!"

Warm sunlight was gracing the interior, as Kagura had made sure to leave the blinds open before she had left for school. She wanted the place to be bright and cheery for Minamo while she was out, hoping it would somehow improve her sullen mentality.

After setting her things down, she made her way to the main room, frowning as she looked towards the bed.

"Aw, man."

Her sensei was laying upon it, and by all accounts, didn't appear to have left it at all. As Kagura approached her, she could see that she was quiet and still.

_...guess she went back to sleep._

She glanced down, noticing the plate and glass she had left for her. Both were cleaned out, and the sight filled Kagura with some slight relief.

_Ok. Good. At least she's not too depressed to eat. But, damn, I was hoping to talk to her as soon as I got back..._

There were many things that Kagura wanted to relay to Minamo, so many new questions that she wanted to ask her, but, for the time being, it appeared she'd have to wait for her chance to do either.

_Oh, well. She looks ok, I guess. That's all that matters right now..._

After placing the dishware in the kitchen sink, Kagura went to her bag. From it, she took out some spare clothes that she had stashed in her locker at school, and then made her way to the bathroom. She hadn't bothered to shower after the practice this morning, wanting to rush back here as soon as she could, and now had a chance to rinse off all the chlorine from her skin.

It wasn't a long bath, but the cool water refreshed her, allowing Kagura to forget how hot it had been outside. When she was finished, she dried and dressed herself, tossing the towel back onto its rack. She then stepped to the door, but then stopped in front of it.

_...eh..._

Kagura went back to the rack and removed the towel. She had left it in a crumpled mess, and so she folded it squarely and neatly instead. Now, it matched the other towels in the bathroom, each of them also folded perfectly in their holding places.

_There._

She turned back around, pausing as she looked about the bathroom, smiling with humor at it.

_...man. Well, I guess that's just how she is. _

It had been something that she had noticed while having stayed overnight in her mentor's apartment. Just like the towels, Minamo's abode was impeccably set about in almost every aspect of it. Kagura had already known about her cleanliness habit to some degree, given how organized the woman was at school, but her home was something else entirely. From the accurately labeled containers in her fridge to the ridiculously clean counter tops all about, everything in the apartment was just incredibly neat and ordered. Even the video games that Minamo had in her home were all alphabetized, and Kagura had made doubly sure to keep them as they had been after making use of them.

_It's pretty damn impressive, but...I dunno'. Maybe it's 'cause I'm a pretty messy person, but it's kinda'...overboard? _

Her interest with her sensei's tidy home soon faded, and Kagura finally exited the bathroom.

She almost fumbled over in surprise upon stepping outside. "Whoa!"

Minamo was sitting up on the bed now, staring blankly over at her kitchen.

Kagura hustled over to her, standing beside her now. "Hey! Minamo! Did you have a good nap?"

The woman took her time to look up at her. "...oh, hello."

She chuckled, and then sat down next to her. "Well, hey there! But, hey, you're ok? I hope I didn't wake you up or something when I took a shower."

"...I wasn't sleeping...?"

"...you weren't? But...you were laying down and didn't answer me..."

Minamo appeared confused. "I'm sorry. I didn't hear you. But I...I wasn't sleeping. I was...just thinking..."

"...oh, ok. Right." Kagura scratched her head, and then sighed. "Umm...ok. Anyway! I got a lot to fill you in on. Uh, first! The practice went well. The top girls are all ready to go. Times are spot on, getting better..."

She took the next few minutes to inform the woman of the overall status of the swim club. Minamo seemed to be half-listening to her however, absently nodding to points made here and there, her eyes often looking away.

_...I should just get to it already. It's probably killing her..._

"...and that's that. But...um, so listen to me: before the practice started, I went to the teacher's office. And I, uh, talked to a few people..."

Minamo was keeping silent, but her attention seemed to suddenly sharpen.

"...and it doesn't look like Yukari spilled the beans or anything. Everyone was sa-"

_"What?"_

The woman had suddenly become animated, Kagura witnessing yet another one of those abrupt mood shifts of hers. "Hey...whoa...yeah. She didn't tell anyone about you, or what happened between you guys."

Minamo mouthed something inaudible, her eyes opening even wider than they just had before. "But...you must be wrong, Kagura."

She shook her head. "No...I spoke to a few teachers there. No one knows anything, Minamo. I mean, they were just telling me how great you were the whole time!"

There was a hefty amount of disbelief on the woman's face now, Minamo's head now looking down at the bed covers. "...you...please, don't lie to me."

"I'm not! I'm not, Minamo. They all said Yukari's been really quiet this week, too. It looks like she's just been keeping to herself. Like, she's not talking to _anyone_. She just comes in early and then leaves really quick."

Minamo didn't respond. She appeared to be off in her own world again.

"...is something wrong?"

"Did you speak to Yukari?"

_...dang, here we go. _Kagura shifted uncomfortably upon the bed. "Yeah...about that. I did talk to her, but...I mighta' screwed things up, Minamo. I'm really sorry..."

"...what do you mean?"

Kagura scrunched her brow together, becoming a little confused. She had expected her foreboding line to get a big reaction, but Minamo was staying somewhat calm. "...well, I talked to her when I saw her. She's...shes pretty angry. I didn't tell her I knew anything, but, I played it like I knew you were sick or something like that. So I tried to get her to call you...like to check up on you, ya' know? But...man. She lost it when I started talking about you. She's pissed, Minamo...and she got mad in front of all the other teachers. The vice-pres' had to come take her outside." She blew out a jaded breath. "I'm sorry, Minamo. I really screwed up. I think I made things worse between you guys..."

Her mentor continued to stare down, remaining quiet for a few moments. "...she got mad...in front of all the other faculty...?"

"Yeah. Ugh, it was kind of a mess..."

"...but..."

Kagura leaned in a bit closer, Minamo's voice so hard to hear. "Yeah...? But what?"

The woman put her head in her hands then, her fingers weaving through her short hair, looking completely frustrated. "But, why? Why didn't she tell anyone?"

"Huh?"

"It doesn't make any sense." She shook her head back and forth. "Why didn't she tell? What...what is she doing...?"

_Uh, what?_

Kagura became truly baffled then. She knew Minamo wasn't in a reasonable state of mind, but the responses she was getting towards her report weren't what she had expected to hear. "...hey, isn't that a good thing? Yukari didn't tell anyone, so...why are you looking upset? She doesn't seem like she's out to get you or whatever..."

A minute went by, no words spoken during it, Minamo just rocking her head in her hands.

"...hey...what's wrong?"

"...she wants me there."

"What?"

Minamo was tugging on her bangs now, her voice streaky and broken. "I know what it is. She wants me there. She wants me to come back, and then, and _then_ she'll tell everyone...she wants to do it while I'm there. That's what it is, Kagura!_ That's what it is!_ She wants to tell them about me while I'm there, while I'm in front of everyone... "

"Hey...calm down, calm down. Come on, that's crazy. Not even Yukari would pull somethin' like that..."

"No, no, no. You don't know her like I do, Kagura. That's what she's planning. I know it, I just know it..."

"...come on, Minamo. Yeah, Yukari's pissed off. There's no doubt about that. But she wouldn't plan anything like that..."

The woman shivered vehemently, as if the temperature of the room had just dropped tremendously. "I'm so stupid...I should have known that's what she wants. Kagura, that's what it is...that's why she's keeping quiet. I know it, I just know it. You don't know how much she hates me...she hates me...that's it...that's it...it's all over. I can't go...I can't ever go back..."

"Wh-what?" Kagura couldn't help but become stunned. "What do you mean? You're not goin' back to work?"

Minamo remained silent.

_...ok, that's it. I'm not going through this again._

Kagura quickly recognized the beleaguered, crazed expression that was beginning to creep across the woman's face, the same one she had seen so often yesterday. "Minamo...sorry, but...if you're going to do something like that, then the only thing I think we can do is call someone else in to help you out."

Her sensei turned to her in horror. _"What? No! No! No!"_

_"Look..."_ She realized her voice was rising, and attempted to tone it down. "Are you going back to work or not? Are you going to help out our team or not? You can't just stay here...you just can't. And if you aren't going, then we need to get someone else to help on this, because I really don't know what else to do. I mean, you just can't keep on avoiding Yukari foreve-"

_"Yes I can!"_

The conviction in the woman's voice was solid, Kaguara watching her mentor descend into a desperation once again. "Look, if you're serious...then I dunno' what else to tell ya'. You need to go back to work, that's all I know, and you have to fix things with Yukari. But...ok, fine. Forget it." Kagura shook her head with frustration. "I know you didn't want to involve anyone else, Minamo, but I'm outta' ideas. You need someone else to help you, like a family member or friend, because I-"

Minamo appeared incredulous now, as if she had just been betrayed. "_...no...no...n_-"

"_Minamo!_" Kagura had to keep her temper in check again, not wanting to get into another shouting match. "...Minamo, listen: there _must_ be someone else out there that you can talk to, right? If you can get someone you know well to patch things up between you guys..."

_"...no!"_ The woman shook her head back and forth with vigor. "I told you! I told you I can't! You don't get it. I can't talk to anyone...I can never talk to anyone else..."

Kagura hesitated. "Let me ask you something. Just...just listen. Don't freak out. Just listen. I...want to ask you..."

"_What?_ What is it _now_?"

"...I want to ask you...if you know someone named Eiko...?"

"...what...?"

_...whoa..._

The moment that Kagura had uttered the name, she had witnessed the blood drain from Minamo's face, this flicker of terror flashing over it for a split second. The woman's eyes were locked dead on with hers now, her nervous trembling all but ceased.

"...I said...I just asked if you know someone named Eiko."

Her mentor stared at her with a mix of dread and suspicion, her lack of an outright answer serving as one.

Kagura brought up her hands, warding off the ominous look. "Listen, listen: when I was talking to some teachers today, one of them just dropped the name when we started talking about you. Everyone was saying how great you were back in high school, and they just started telling me about you, and Yukari, and this person named Eiko as well. Anyway...from what it sounded like, you knew that girl pretty well, right? Do you still know her?"

It was quiet for a bit, Minamo staring on at her, as if her old pupil was some sort of traitor now. Then, she looked away, a sad expression on her face. "...I...she..."

"Hey..." She put a hand on her shoulder. "I didn't mean to just go and find about your friends or something, if that's what you're thinking. It just came into the conversation. And...I figured it's the only way to go from here, Minamo. Our team needs you, I'm sure as hell the school needs you, and you can't just avoid the person you like forever, right? So, if you're that scared of Yukari, that you don't wanna' go back...then it makes sense, right? To get someone you both know well to help out? Does Yukari know this person well too?"

"...sort of..."

Kagura felt a jolt of hope run through her, Minamo appearing to at least consider the idea. "But, do you know her really well? Like, could you talk to her about this whole situation? Is she someone you can trust?"

Minamo closed her eyes. "I...I don't want to call Eiko..."

Kagura sat back, sighing. "Minamo...come on. What do you think is gonna' happen if you just stay here? Someone's going to come here looking for you anyway. Think about that. Wouldn't it be better to, I dunno'...just get things solved more secretly, if you're worried about everyone finding out? Like, get some advice from this Eiko-lady. Yeah, you'll have to tell her about yourself, but...isn't that better than the school or whatever sending someone to find out about you? People are gonna' get worried and look for you..."

"I know that. I just...that's what I was...thinking about..."

"...what?"

The woman seemed to shrink by the second, her voice coming out weak and thin now. "...I don't want them to send anyone, Kagura."

"...right. So, that's why I'm saying that I think it's best to get someone else involved, before other people, that you _don't_ really know well, come and start getting in your business. I mean, if Eiko doesn't help, then we can still always talk to a doctor or counselor o-"

_"No! No, I'll call Eiko!"_

Kagura recoiled backwards, her mentor screaming. "Ok, ok! Let's...let's call her."

Minamo shivered for a moment. "...I'm sorry. I just...I needed time. I couldn't...I just needed time, this time..."

She had no idea what her sensei was talking about, but either way, Kagura felt progress being made. "It's cool, it's cool! Sorry, that was my bad. I forgot that you didn't want a doctor. Um...here." Minamo's cell phone was laying beside them, so Kagura handed it to her.

The woman stared at it for the better part of a minute. "Kagura..."

"Yeah?"

"...can...can you call and talk to her for me...?"

"M-_me_?" Kagura chuckled with worry. "I don't think that'll work...it's gonna' be weird for her to hear a stranger talking to her from a friend's number, don't you think? I mean, what am I gonna' say anyway?"

"I don't...know what to say either..."

She frowned. "Just...I dunno'. I guess calling her up and just telling her that you're gay out of the blue would be pretty tough. Just...just tell her that you have to talk to her about somethin' important. Like ease into it, I guess? Or, just tell her that you and Yukari had a big fight, and you need her help to fix things. Then you can tell her about yourself later..."

Minamo took in a deep breath. "I...I don't want her...to think of me differently..."

"Right...but...you gotta' do it anyway, Minamo. Remember, it's either tell her or risk a lot more people finding out. The only other option is to go to work and face Yukari yourself."

The woman shuddered as she considered her predicament, grimacing heavily.

Kagura patted her shoulder. "Hey...hey, don't cry again! Come on..."

"...I never told her...I never told anyone..."

"...hey, hey. Look, I don't know this lady, but...from what I heard, you guys were close, right? You do you know her well?"

"...I...I guess..."

"Ok. So, if you guys are good friends, then she won't mind! Like, I totally got your story, right? She will too! Don't worry about it. Err...wait." Kagura rubbed her chin. "Eiko's not...she's not like another Yukari, is she? Like...crazy?"

To her surprise, her comment got a faint chuckle out from her mentor. "No...no. They're...they're not at all alike..."

"She's pretty level-headed, then?"

"...I guess."

She grinned, throwing her arms up with cheer. "Well, then, there we go! If she's someone that you can count on, then give her a call, ok? Maybe all you need is someone you know well to talk to Yukari with you. That's all, Minamo!"

The woman hesitated again, pondering over something. "Ok, Kagura."

Kagura smiled, this whole convoluted situation finally beginning to untangle itself. "_Great!_ Great! Just be brave! I'm here with you too, so don't worry. Just tell her that you need some help. Maybe you guys should meet face-to-face to talk this over, 'cause it's kinda' too big of a deal to just do over the phone, right?"

"...right..."

"Ok, so, go for it! The sooner this all blows over, the better!"

Minamo continued to stare at her phone with a weary look, the device shaking in her nervous hand.

Kagura gave her a reassuring pat on the back. "Go on! It'll be fine."

"...ok." Her mentor thumbed the screen, and soon, she had dialed a number, the phone now to her ear.

_...hope this isn't another dumb idea on my part._ She kept her hand on the woman, attempting to keep her calm.

"...h-h-hi...Eiko. This...is Minamo. Please call me back. I have...I have a problem. Thanks...thank you..."

She watched the woman set the phone down in her lap. "She didn't answer?"

Her mentor slowly shook her head. "...she's...always busy..."

Kagura frowned. "Busy? She working or somethin'?"

"...yes. All the time."

"Oh, what's she do?"

"She works...for Toyota. She helped me...choose my car..."

"Oh, wow! What's she do there? She help at a factory or something?"

"...no. She...she's the general manager of our region..."

_"What?" _Her jaw dropped. "_The heck? Are you serious?_"

"...yes?"

_"Dude!"_ Kagura rocked her gently with a hand. "Minamo, that's...how the hell do you know some bigwig like that? That's... tha-"

A musical jingle interrupted her words, the phone ringing. Minamo picked it up, shuddering as she read the name on the screen. "It...it's her..."

"Damn, that was quick. Well, answer it!"

"...but..."

"Minamo!" Kagura reached for the phone, touched the screen to accept the call, and then shoved the device against Minamo's ear. "Talk to her!"

The woman shook with unease, but didn't put up any resistance. Instead, she closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath. "H-h-hello?"

Kagura could hear the voice of another person emanate from the phone, but it was too low for her to make out anything specific.

"...I...no. I'm...ok. No...I don't sound different...I don't. Yes. I...I was calling...because I need to talk to you. It's...my voice is fine. Don't...no! Just...just listen. No...It's...something personal. I need...I need your help. I need to talk to you. No...no! It's...it's not b-bad...no, I don't, I'm telling you. What? _No, don't!_ No..." Minamo sighed. "...ok. Ok, Eiko. Ok...ok. I'll...see you soon...thanks. Ok. Ok...bye."

Her sensei looked shaken as she ended the call. "...what? What did she say?"

"...she's coming here."

"Huh? When?"

"Right now."

_"Whoa!"_ Kagura's eyes opened widely. "I thought you said she was workin', though? I mean...can someone in her position just drop stuff and leave? Well...wait...I guess she can, if she's in charge...but...damn, Minamo. Seriously? She's coming here right _now_?"

"That's what she told me..."

There wasn't any feeling in her sensei's voice now, something quite off about it. Minamo didn't appear afraid anymore, but didn't display any other sort of emotion either. She was just sort of dull and dead, a neutral disposition.

_...who is this lady? Minamo seemed kinda' scared when I mentioned her, but now she looks like she doesn't care about anything. _"Well...that's good...? Right? That's cool that she would just come here like that."

"She always...does things like that..."

"Eh?"

The woman didn't bother to clarify.

"Um...well, ok. If she's coming here...should I head out for a bit so that you tw-"

"Please, stay..."

"...yeah, I can do that too. No problem...I just figured I'd get in the way..."

"You won't."

Kagura scrutinized her thoroughly then, a trace of anxiety now tangible in her words. "Uh, ok, then..."

Minamo began to adjust her position on the bed. "I'm going to lay down for a little while. You can...open the door when she gets here."

She got off the bed, allowing her sensei to stretch out and get under the covers. "Sure..."

The apartment fell silent again, and Kagura relocated herself to the living room couch. For the time being, all she could do was wait for the arrival of Minamo's old friend, someone of whom had now come to greatly pique Kagura's interest.


	50. Part II Chapter 50

**Author's Notes**

Hello! Chapter pic in my profile!

Have a great new year :)

~mhazaru

* * *

Part II

Chapter 50

Time had decided to not treat Kagura well then, as it was moving along far slower than she would have liked it to. For the last twenty or so minutes, she had just been quietly watching some television as she eagerly awaited the arrival of her mentor's old classmate. Her desire to meet this woman named Eiko had been steadily growing since Minamo had called her, a delightful sort of interest that was akin to a fan wanting to learn more about a beloved celebrity's inner circle of friends, and her curiosity had come to fully consume her thoughts.

_...I wonder what she's like?_

Kagura glanced over at Minamo, who was still laying upon the bed. Her back was turned towards her, and by all appearances, it seemed like she was taking a nap.

_...well, she said she's not like Yukari, which is a really good thing. But what could that mean? Is she another Minamo, then? Well...a non-crazy Minamo, anyway..._

The only other clue that she had to go on was that Eiko was a large player in a global car company. Kagura had been surprised to hear that her sensei actually knew such an influential person, as Minamo had just always seemed the type to associate with more simpler types of folks. If she were to go with that angle, however, then Kagura could imagine Eiko as someone who might be fairly low-key in her attitude and personality, somewhat plain and studious.

_I guess that sorta' person could get along with her. I mean, Minamo's not a barrel of laughs or anything, so maybe they really are sort of the same? I figure she deals with Yukari's crap since she's in love with her, but, outside of her..._

_"Gah!"_

Kagura immediately leapt off the couch, rushing across the room towards the bed. Minamo had suddenly sat straight up, gasping loudly as she madly wiped something off of her face. "_Hey!_ Hey...what's wrong? Are you ok?"

Her mentor shook her head a few times as if trying to fling something off from it, and then gazed around the apartment with weary eyes. She took a few deep breaths, recovering herself. "...yes, yes...I'm fine..."

"There a spider on you?"

Minamo bit her lip, jerking her head back and forth a few more times. "...no. I just...I just had a bad dream..."

_Oh, she actually was sleeping_. "...damn, Minamo! That must have been some hell of a nightmare! Seriously, you looked like you were fighting off a swarm of somethin'. You freaked me out..."

"...sorry if I worried you."

Kagura chuckled. _Yeah, you've been doing that a lot lately._ "Nah, don't worry about it." She sat down next to her, examining her. Minamo appeared quite rattled and disoriented, and a high level of grogginess was clearly evident in her movements as well. "You sure you ok, though? You look kinda' spooked."

"...yes."

Her voice was equally fatigued. _Maybe she didn't sleep that great yesterday?_ "Well, good. Umm...so, what did you dream about?"

Minamo frowned, closed her eyes, and then yawned. "...I don't remember..."

"You forgot already?"

"Yes..."

Kagura followed suit with her own sour expression, grimacing at the short responses. "...ok, umm, no problem! Just figured it must have been pretty scary..." She decided not to press her anymore on the subject, the woman obviously not interested in talking about it. "Do you need anything from me? Want some water or somethin'?"

Another yawn, Minamo's head bobbing up and down a little. "...I'm fine. Thank you."

She suppressed a smile, her sensei's drowsiness a little adorable to her. "Ok. Just let me know if you need anything, though. So..." She glanced at the clock that sat on the window sill behind the bed. "...so, hey: do you think that Eiko will be here soon? It's been about half an hour since you called her."

"...ah...I don't know. It's...there's probably traffic right now..."

"Oh, right. Didn't figure that. Also, by the way..." Kagura picked up her sensei's phone from a corner of the bed. "I was thinking...can you let her know that I'm here too? I just figure that it might be weird to see a stranger here out of the blue for her. Just text her quick, please?"

Minamo stared at the device as if she didn't know what it was, but eventually took it from her hand. "...mmm...she won't care..."

"Yeah, well, _I_ will, ha-ha...it'd make me feel a little better, 'cause I hate being a surprise third wheel, you know..."

Her mentor yawned once more, her fingers lazily tapping the screen now. "Ok. Ok. I'll tell her you're here...that you were around..."

She smiled with some relief. "Thanks! I just hope she won't mind a college kid being here when she comes. Ya' know...I figure she doesn't hang around them much, like, I'm probably like an idiot to someone like her." She laughed.

The woman finished sending her message. "...everyone is..."

"Uh, what?"

"...she's...umm, what's the word...? She's always been a nerd...she loves math and science and things like that..."

Kagura's eyes widened a bit. _Oh, so she's a brainiac, huh?_ "Wow! Well, I guess she would fit in a place that makes cars and stuff, then. But, man, I didn't figure you and Yukari would really hang out with that someone like that. Err, wait, don't take that the wrong way...I just mean, well, I always find nerds and whatever kinda' dull..."

"...mmm...we don't really...'hang out'. I don't really see her that much anymore..."

"'cause she's really busy?"

Minamo set the phone down in front of her. "...I guess. She leaves the country a lot, too, but...it's more about...it's more that..."

"...more what?"

Her sensei's words came to a gentle stop, and then she looked up at Kagura with a muddled look on her face. "...wait..."

"What's up?"

"...Eiko...wait...she was coming here...?"

"Uh...duh?"

Minamo stared at her stupidly for a second, before an alarming realization crept across her face. _"That's right! That's right! Eiko's coming here! What...what am I doing...? I can't believe I feel asleep! What the hell am I doing?"_

"Whoa, _whoa!_" Kagura reeled back from the sudden outburst. Minamo's head was now clutched desperately between her hands in fright, her sleepiness completely gone now. "Calm down! Are you serious? We were just talking about her comi-"

The woman suddenly jumped off the bed, an urgency in her actions as she raced to one of her closets, pulling out clothes from a drawer inside. "_Kagura!_ I'm going to take a shower! Please..._please_ do me a favor!" She slammed the door shut and then sprinted to the bathroom. "Please make my bed! Please clean up whatever looks off...the dishes! _Clean the dishes! Put them in the washer!_"

Kagura was on her feet now as well, gawking at her mentor. _"Hey! Calm down!"_

"Just clean up before she comes! _Hurry!_"

"Hey! _Wait!_"

Minamo ignored her, and within the next moment, she had locked herself in the bathroom.

_...damn, man..._

Kagura fell backwards upon the bed in a heap, staring up at the ceiling with an enormous amount of dismay on her face.

"...what the hell is up with her _now_?"

* * *

_There. That looks good enough. For me, at least..._

Kagura surveyed the entirety of the apartment, everything now in somewhat better order after she had given it all a quick tidying up. The pillows were set neatly upon the furniture, the bed was made, the kitchen cleaned.

_Wasn't a lot to do, but, I think I've spent more time cleaning here than I have for my own room in a whole month..._

She glance towards the bathroom door, sighing at it. The sound of the shower had been going on for more than ten minutes now, and Kagura was beginning to wonder if Minamo would purposely extend that time out even longer. While she didn't have any real idea as to the usual length of Minamo's baths, her mad dash to the bathroom earlier had just made Kagura feel that it was all less about washing herself and more about escaping her situation.

She threw herself on the couch.

_...I get that she's nervous about telling her friend she's gay. Sure, I can get that. But...what's having the place look good have to do with that? I mean, you were looking like a mess yourself for almost two days without giving a crap..._

Another few minutes passed by, the light rapping sound of water hitting the tub's bottom still carrying on about her.

_...come on! _Kagura kicked her legs against the end of the couch._ Don't leave me hanging out here alone, Minamo. Whatever's buggin' you, just get over it already and get back out he-_

The doorbell rang.

_"Aw, dammit!'"_

With great reluctance and a mighty groan, Kagura got herself off of the couch and then drug her feet over to the front door.

_...get out of there already, Minamo!_

Annoyance began to fill Kagura, the awkwardness of her predicament truly vexing her now. She had been fine with the idea of opening her sensei's door to a stranger, but that was _with_ Minamo sitting in the room behind her. Now, she would have to do so alone, and then _also_ attempt to play host to someone whom she had little in common with, a corporate woman, while in someone else's home.

"Coming!"

_Whatever. Just get this over with._

Kagura placed her hand on the lock, undid it, and then pulled the door open.

_Man, Minamo...I know this is a hard time for you, but I'm seriously going to give you some hell after this. Ugh, should I be all formal since she works for such a huge company or whatever? Should I ge-_

Her thoughts immediately broke apart, a sudden, surreal feeling smashing them with tremendous force.

_...holy...!_

_"..._well, hello there. You must be the student Minamo messaged me about, correct?"

"...y-y-ye-yes...?"_...she...! _"...are...y-you...are you Eiko...m'am...?"

"That's right. And what's your name?"

"...I'm...my...my name's...Kagura...?"

"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you. Is your sensei here?"

_...I...can't...!_

Kagura turned to her side. She hadn't witnessed it, but at some point in the last few seconds, the woman named Eiko had invited herself into the apartment, and was now standing in the entrance way as well. "...in...she's...the shower...the shower! Right now...she's taking a shower..."

"In the middle of the day? Was she out swimming?"

"...no! No...no...?"

_...holy...!_

"Hmm. Oh, well. I'll wait for her." She then looked her up and down. "Well, now. You're certainly a very interesting girl, aren't you...Kagura?"

To hear this woman speak her name, to see the cool smile that she had just flashed at her, both of them together had finished the job of completely decimating Kagura's ability to speak.

_...holy shit! This..._

___...this...this is Eiko...? _

___But, she's..._

___...but...she's..._

In front of her, decked out in a crisp business suit, black stockings flowing up into an equally sharp skirt, stood the most gorgeous woman, or yet, the most gorgeous _person_, that Kagura had ever seen in her life.

___...I thought Minamo...she said..._

___...how...how does she know someone like this? And...and why..._

___...and why..._

_...and why the hell can't I breathe now...?_


	51. Part II Chapter 51

**Author's Notes**

Heyo! Hope everyone's doing well.

Quick FYI since some people were wondering: Eiko isn't an OC. She was in episode 19 of the anime.

~mhazaru

* * *

Part II

Chapter 51

"...m-me...?"

"That's right. You're an athlete, I take it?"

"...yeah, I am. I'm a swimmer..."

"I figured. You have an incredible physique. I'm sure you must be very good."

It happened again, Kagura taken aback by that joyful sensation that had coursed through her a few moments ago, one that had been set off by simply being acknowledged and spoken to by this particular person in front of her.

_...she's freakin' amazing!_

Kagura had seen incredible looking women before, but this woman named Eiko was in a category all her own. The very second that she had laid eyes upon her sensei's friend, Kagura had become completely enamored with her. Her looks were absolutely astonishing to her, and this sophisticated, yet chic, aura that she exuded had taken her breath away. She had never seen such a perfect mix of elegance and style, and Kagura was beginning to feel as if she were now in the presence of some contemporary queen. "...uhh, thank you, m'am..."

"Well, aren't you polite." Eiko walked past her then, and began to remove her shoes. Her footwear was of a type that Kagura didn't know of, something between black, leather sandals and traditional high heels.

_...well, whatever they are, they look really cool. And really expensive...like everything else she's got on._

After setting her shoes aside, Eiko then made her way into the living room. She dropped her bag down on the table and then marched straight into the kitchen, opening the fridge to take out some chilled lemonade. "Do you want any, Kagura?"

"...uh...yes, please?"

Eiko fetched a pair of drinking glasses from a cupboard and immediately began to fill them. "Your sensei always keeps everything in the same place, if you were wondering."

"...umm..."

"Come sit down." She handed over one of the drinks, and then sat herself at the dining table.

Kagura stood there with the glass in hand for a few moments, a bit awestruck at how casually the woman walked about in her friend's home. She was essentially just doing what she wanted, and it made Kagura feel as if she were actually standing in Eiko's apartment rather than Minamo's, or better yet, Eiko's_ building._

Eventually though, her feet obeyed Eiko's command, and now, she was seated across from the spectacle, her eyes still locked onto her with entrancement. It was funny to her, but Kagura found that she was becoming excited by simply just being around this woman, experiencing a brand of thrill that was totally new to her.

Eiko took a long gulp from her drink, appearing quite satisfied with it afterward. "It's so miserably hot outside. You know, I really don't like summer at all, but it must be your favorite season, right?"

The question registered so slowly in her head, Kagura mesmerized by the sharp eyes that pierced her, the dazzling sparkles of Eiko's jewelry "...oh. _Oh!_ Yeah...I really love it, m'am! It's great weather to be swimming in, m'am."

"Don't be so formal, Kagura." The woman waved her hand dismissively. "It's a terrible habit. So, I take it you're getting ready for the high school meets?"

Kagura didn't notice the wide smile that lit her face then, as possessing the attention of this person was exhilarating. "Oh, no...I just graduated, so I'm going to college soon..."

"Well, congratulations! You're going to continue being a swimmer as well, I bet."

Her smile morphed into a larger grin, and the urge to brag took over. "Yeah, totally! I really want to compete at a high level...you know, it might sound silly, but like the Olympics or something..."

"That's not silly at all. There's not much point in living if you don't have some sort of dream." Eiko took another sip. "And when you do make it, the stupid look on the faces of everyone who doubted you is wonderful." She laughed.

Kagura found herself laughing as well, and, despite only knowing this person for a handful of minutes so far, was already well at ease with her, as if she could safely speak to her about anything now.

"Anyway, I'm sure you'll go far with your ambitions. It looks like you train very hard. I've rarely seen a woman in such amazing shape as you are." A razor smile cut across her face. "It makes you quite interesting."

Kagura melted, fumbling over with any sort of response.

Eiko chuckled. "Well, allow me to change the subject. I came here because I'm concerned about Minamo. She sounded really shaken up over the phone. So, can you tell me what's going on with her, Kagura?"

"...oh!" The drama that she was caught in abruptly returned to the forefront of her mind, and her captivation with the individual before took a back seat to her sensei's plight. "Ah...well...you see. " She looked down to her lap. "...I think it's better if Minamo tells you the whole story. It's something really personal..."

"...and you're the first one that she called to talk to about it?"

Kagura winced, the words sounding harsh in her ears. "Oh, she didn't call me. Actually, it was the other way around..." She let go a sigh. "So basically, Minamo didn't show up at school yesterday. I'm helping her coach the swim team, so I was expecting her to be there like every other morning, ya' know? But she didn't show up, and no one else had heard from her either. So, later in the day I gave her a call and...well, she sounded really crazy when she picked up..."

"What do you mean by 'crazy'?"

"Like...she was just shouting into the phone."

"Shouting what?"

_...she doesn't seem surprised?_ "Umm...she was expecting it to be Yukari...err, Tanizaki-sensei. Um, you know her too, right?"

Eiko smirked. "Yes, of course. She's my friend as well. But, what did Minamo want with Yukari?"

"Well...at the time, I had no clue, right? She was all just like '_Yukari, is that you?', _and then she just hung up. She just sounded really desperate and crazy. I've never heard her like that before, so I thought something was really wrong."

"And then you decided to come here?"

Kagura frowned. "Yeah. I sort of knew where she lived, so I drove over and found her here. Umm...she was...man, she was just sitting there on the floor and actin' really weird."

"How did you get in, then?"

"Oh! Sorry...the door was unlocked."

Eiko tilted her head with some suspicion. "What?"_  
_

"Yeah, it was unlocked. Ok, so...so, she and Yukari apparently had a fight about something in the apartment, and it really left her in a mess. I think Yukari left it unlocked when she took off, and Minamo didn't bother to lock it. Seriously, I think she was just sittin' in that same spot all night. And when I tried to talk to her, man...that was a trip. She was acting totally nuts! And she was really down, like, super dow-"

Kagura immediately ceased speaking, as Eiko had put one finger over her lips, her other hand pointing towards the bathroom door. She began to whisper. "The shower stopped, so keep your voice down. She gets paranoid when she hears others talking about her."

She lowered her voice to match the woman's tone. "Oh, sure, sure..."

"Do you know what they fought over, Kagura?"

"...well, she did tell me. She didn't want to at first, like, she _really_ didn't want to, but eventually she did. Umm, but, I think it's something that Minamo needs to tell you herself."

"And why is that?"

"...it's just something really personal. I don't think it's right for me to tell you before she does."

Eiko scrutinized her, her eyes slightly narrowing. "Well, I've seen those two fight plenty of times before, but I don't recall a single occasion where Minamo had let it get to her. Not enough to stay home from work, in any case. They're very close friends, Kagura, even if they don't look like it."

Kagura put on a dry smile. "Yeah...well, this time was really different..."

"And this is where Minamo has to inform me of what's going on, correct?"

"Yeah. Sorry..."

"...out of curiosity, Kagura, was she acting neurotic when you found her?"

"...what's that mean?"

"Really depressed and anxious. Really tired, really emotional."

Kagura's eyes widened in surprise. "_Yeah! _Holy crap, she had all of that!"

Eiko mulled something over. "Was there anything else she did that was strange?"

"Umm...well, it was kinda' hard to keep track of everything. It was all a blur at the time, ya' know?"

"I'm sure it must have been a tough situation to deal with."

Kagura's shoulders slumped then, fatigue hitting her as the reality of what she had gone though yesterday suddenly caught up to her. _Nice __to finally talk to someone else about this. _"Man, tell me about it! I'm not really good at dealing with crazy people...but I was super shocked that it was Minamo that was the crazy one for a change, right? Seriously, I didn't even recognize her when I started talkin' to her."

"...I understand. On that note: can you tell me if she did anything else that you found strange? Outside of acting overly emotional."

"...well..." Kagura furrowed her brow as she attempted to remember more details. "Let me think for a sec'. There was a lot of stuff she di-"

"Did she appear as if she were seeing things?"

She gawked at the woman in disbelief. "_Whoa!_ _Yeah!_ Yeah, that's what I was gonna' tell you! Man, how did you guess that?"

"Do you recall what she 'saw'?"

_"_Huh? Hmm...not really. Well...she did act like she was 'in' something. Then when I got near her she said I was getting 'it' everywhere, or something like that. Was totally freakin' bizarre..."

"Was it blood?"

A chill struck her. "Err..._what?_"

"Did she imagine she was bleeding?"

_Bleeding? The heck?_ "Um...no, not really...? I don't know what she was seeing...but she was freakin' out real bad. And...actually...wait. There was one thing she said, that really, really got me worried..."

Eiko tilted her head. "And that is?"

"...well...I migh-"

The soft click of the bathroom door unlocking sounded like thunder in Kagura's ear, and she quickly shut herself up. She then watched Eiko take one last gulp from her drink, before the woman got up from her chair and walked past her.

Minamo hadn't immediately stepped out of the bathroom, peeking through a slight opening in the door.

"Minamo."

The teacher shivered, and then looked at her visitor with great hesitance. "...hey, Eiko. Thanks for coming. Sorry to make you wait..."

Eiko put her hands on the woman's shoulders, and then gradually walked her over to the couch. Minamo's appearance had greatly improved after a shower, but an ample amount of nervousness was still an evident part of her demeanor. "It's no problem. Come on, sit down. You look exhausted."

Kagura watched her sensei comply, Minamo now seated upon the couch.

Eiko looked down at her old friend. "Are you feeling sick?"

Minamo shook her head. "I'm fine. Just...tired..."

"You haven't been getting any sleep, have you?"

A slow nod of the head.

Eiko leaned down, her face nearing her friend's. "Tell me what's bothering you, the-"

"I've been in love with Yukari since high school. I tried to kiss her when she was sleeping the other day. She caught me doing it. Now she hates me, and she's going to go tell everyone everything about me."

* * *

Kagura was furious.

_...this is bullshit. Seriously, just flat out, stinkin' bullshit..._

For the last ten or so minutes, she had been quietly observing the two old friends converse with each other, the lot of them now sitting around the dining table. Minamo had relayed the truth about herself to Eiko, in addition to all of the events that had taken place over the last few days. Her friend was now fully up to date on what had gone down, of her decision to avoid Yukari, of how long she had been hiding her true sexual preferences. The whole story had come out so fluidly and effortlessly from her as well, and it was that fact which had ignited Kagura's rage.

_Why the hell didn't you just call her off the bat? Why the hell did I have to go through all that shit yesterday and with Yukari? Seriously...what the frick?_

She slouched in her chair, trying her absolute best to keep her bristling anger in check. The very moment that Minamo had confessed that she had been in love with Yukari all this time, Kagura's jaw had hit the floor. It had all come out so smoothly, with none of the histrionics that the woman had poured out in bucketloads yesterday, and it infuriated Kagura. All of the headaches and heartaches that she herself had experienced during the whole ordeal just seemed so pointless now, as her mentor didn't seem at all troubled to relay the truth about herself to her other guest here.

_Ok, maybe she feels more comfortable telling this stuff to Eiko. Or maybe she just got it all out yesterday...but still, man, I'm freakin' pissed. You made this big stinkin' deal about not telling anyone else, and now look at what the hell you're doin'..._

Kagura had never felt any sort of animosity towards her sensei before, but that streak of good will had just ended. Now, she had a gigantic problem with Minamo, and wanted to shout out her frustrations to her right away, but knew that it was better to do so when she was alone with her, on an occasion where she would be much calmer as well. For now, Kagura just kept quiet as she continued to listen to the conversation that was going on in front of her.

"...well, all of this is hitting me at once, Minamo. It's hard to believe everything that you've told me so far. I had no idea of any of it."

Minamo's eyes fell to the floor, distress peppering her face. "I'm sorry. I just...I should have talked to you guys a long time ago about all of this. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry..."

_Yeah, you sure as hell should've!_

Eiko shook her head with some sympathy. "Don't worry about it. I know it's a difficult issue to discuss. But, Minamo, haven't I always told you to come to me with your problems? You remember all those times when I've had to explain this to you before, don't you?"

Minamo frowned. "Yes, Eiko..."

"Then why didn't you? It's a little disheartening to find out that you didn't feel comfortable with coming to me about all this."

"...I'm really sorry."

Eiko sighed. "It's fine. Relax. I just want to make sure you know that I'm always on your side. You know I would never care about your sexual orientation or what not. That doesn't matter. However, I'm not exactly proud of you for toying around with Yukari like that. You know how she is, Minamo."

"I know. I'm sorry, Eiko."

Kagura glanced back and forth between the two women, her anger settling as a curiosity came to mind. For supposedly being close friends, Eiko and Minamo certainly didn't act like it, at least in her view. The relationship between them wasn't like any sort of friendship she had seen before: Minamo both looked and acted like a toddler being scolded, easily agreeing with or nodding to whatever Eiko said to her, who was without a doubt the parent in this setup.

_...she still does look a little scared of her. Like a little mouse. Damn, this is like when my mom gets pissed at me. And I don't ever think I've seen Minamo being the one lectured to before...well, I guess I can't really blame her, with what I'm seeing here..._

Eiko was about the same height as Minamo, slightly taller, but in presence, she absolutely dwarfed her friend. She had been completely controlling all of the dialogue so far, and Kagura could easily understand how someone like her could rise to the top of a large corporation. There was never any sort of hesitance in her speech, nor the slightest lack of confidence. Her words were always direct and to the point, her thoughts ridiculously precise, and it gave Kagura the impression that this woman happily and routinely gutted anyone who said something wrong or off to her.

_Anyone would be nervous talkin' to this lady..._

The woman in question shook her head with some annoyance then. "It's fine. In any case, don't worry about Yukari for now." She looked towards Kagura. "You said she was angry at school today?"

Kagura's attention instantly shifted towards her, not daring to waste a second of this person's time. "_Oh_! Yeah! Yeah...she was super pissed off at Minamo, and then me!"

Eiko glanced over at her friend. "It's probably a good thing that you didn't go to work this week, Minamo. Have you called the school yet to inform them of your absence?"

Her sensei grimaced. "...no."

"Call them now, then. Tell them you'll be out for the rest of the week. You've got a really bad fever. If it comes down to it, I can get a doctor to write something for you."

"...ok, Eiko."

Minamo quickly obeyed her friend's directions, retrieving her phone and then dialing the school.

Kagura frowned at her mentor as she began to speak into the phone. "...hey...Eiko? M'am? Umm...shouldn't we be getting her back to school as soon as possible?"

"Are you worried about your swim team?"

"...well, yeah. That's part of it...but, it doesn't feel right to have her just avoid work like that..."

"She's not avoiding work. She's avoiding Yukari."

"Yeah...that's what I was getting to. Shouldn't she be talking to her...?"

Eiko shook her head.

"...why not...?"

Minamo set the phone down on the table then, her call finished. "Ok. I told them, Eiko. They're ok with it..."

"Good." Eiko returned her attention to Kagura. "You said that you've never seen anyone get as mad as Yukari did this morning. Isn't that right?"

Kagura tilted her head, confused by the comment. She had explained her side of the story to Eiko earlier, but didn't understand why it was being brought back up now. "You mean Yukari? Yeah..."

"That's why we're going to leave her alone for the time being. She's incredibly unpredictable when her emotions begin to flare, and we don't need to cause any more scenes at the school or have her do something stupid. For all we know, she might _actually_ be waiting for Minamo to come back, so that she can have it out with her in front of everyone."

"...come on. Yukari wouldn't do that..." Kagura stole a look at her sensei. "She wouldn't just go and spill the beans about Minamo. Not even Yukari would do somethin' like that..."

"It's nice that you would think that of her, but Minamo and I know her far better than you do. If she's as mad as you claim, then there's really no telling where her mind is at right now. So, it's best to let her cool off before confronting her. Actually..." Eiko's eyes went to her friend. "...she's probably not angry."

"Eh...wha'?" Kagura looked to Minamo, who had suddenly shrunk in her seat, and then back towards the other woman. "Uh...I told you she was goin' nuts, right? I mean, she literally was gonna' kill me in front of all those teachers!"

"People don't just get angry for anger's sake, Kagura. They get angry to hide some other feeling, and Yukari does that more than anyone. Have you known her for long?

"Oh, yeah. She was my homeroom teacher for the last two years."

Eiko nodded. "Alright. Then, I'm sure you've witnessed plenty of occasions where you've expected her to act in a predictable manner, but instead, she went ballistic."

She took a moment to digest what she had just heard. Eiko was right of course, but Kagura had never thought of Yukari's hundreds of tantrums in the way that had just been described: as some sort of cover up. "...yeah. Lots of times."

"Right. Basically, Kagura, she's not comfortable with certain emotions, so she uses anger to push them aside. She's very talented at that." Eiko rapped her fingers upon the table. "Anyway, my guess is that she's been pretty hurt by the whole ordeal. Minamo and I have seen her get furious before as well, and that was always the case."

"...ok, see, that's what I don't get here." Kagura folded her arms as she paused to consider things, laying out what she wanted to say. "...I've been wondering why Yukari is so pissed off...or hurt or whatever. Ok, yeah, she might be all freaked out or whatever from havin' some moves put on her, and, ok, from not knowing that Minamo liked her all this time. But I'm telling you...she was really, _really_ mad. I mean, yeah, it's an awkward situation for her to be in or whatever, but, still..."

"You don't feel her reaction fits the situation at hand."

Kagura nodded, happy to have been understood. "_Yeah!_ Exactly! What is her deal? Like, if you're right about her, then what's she all bummed about?"

Eiko set her eyes back to her friend. "I don't know. What do you think it might be, Minamo?"

The words were of a casual tone, but something else about the way Eiko had just spoken set Kagura on edge, as if the woman had issued some sort of death threat.

_Man, no wonder she's some freakin' executive. She can scare the crap out of anyone without really even doin' anything..._

She looked to Minamo as well, who appeared extremely distressed from the question, her skin growing pale.

_...now what's up with her?_

"...I don't know either."

Eiko's expression hadn't changed, but Kagura just felt that Minamo's reply had incensed her for some reason. There was a battle now silently erupting between the two old friends, the atmosphere becoming tense and thick around them, and Kagura started to become more than uncomfortable with it all.

_...ugh, I wanna' get out of here. What the hell is their problem now?_

"Minamo...you know, you still look pretty tired. You aren't able to think too clearly at the moment, so it's best for you to try and get some sleep again. We'll figure out how you can mend things with Yukari after that, alright?" The woman got up before her friend responded, heading into the kitchen.

"...ok, Eiko."

Kagura remained silent, having no clue as to what was going on anymore, her mentor's voice extremely bleak.

Within a few minutes, Eiko returned to the dining table. In her hand was a glass that contained a clear liquid, Kagura initially thinking it was water. When the woman handed it over to Minamo however, she caught the fragrance of something sweet emanating from it.

"Don't sip it. Just drink it."

Minamo didn't appear terribly content with what her friend wanted of her, but she didn't put up any sort of resistance either. It didn't take long for her to finish the drink, and after she had set the empty glass down on the table, Eiko helped her onto her feet. She then led her friend over to the bed, unfolded the covers, and then set her down on it.

"Just take it easy for awhile." Eiko patted her friend's head. "Everything will get worked out, so don't worry about it. Just leave it all to me."

"...ok, Eiko. Thanks a lot. I'm sorry about all of this..."

"Forget it. Just get some rest." Eiko turned around, walking over to where Kagura still sat. She took a phone from out of her bag and then whispered to her. "Step outside with me for a moment."

Despite all the anxiousness presently inside of her, caused by the heavy tension that had just filled the air, Kagura was still able to revel in this surge of elation that suddenly jolted through her. Eiko's request for her company made her giddy, and she couldn't help but obey her. "Uh...uh, sure! Sure...!" She got out of her seat, glancing at her sensei. "...but, what about Minamo...?"

There was a muffled, slurred voice that came from the bed.

Kagura paused in the middle of putting on her sandals. "...uh...is she ok?"

"No. But she'll be better in a few hours." Eiko opened the front door, and the two were soon outside in the stinging heat, the shade provided by a catwalk above them not diluting it at all. "She'll be sleeping like a rock for awhile. She can't tolerate alcohol at all."

"...err, wait..." Concern lit Kagura's face. "Are you telling me...did you just get her _tanked_?"

Eiko flashed a grin at her.

"...uh...that's..."

"She'll be fine. Don't worry. I didn't mix together anything that bad."

"But...she seemed to go out pretty fast...whoa, was she falling asleep already?"

Eiko nodded. "It can get to lightweights like her within a few minutes. Alcohol usually makes her act a little crazy, but since she hasn't slept in a while, it's just going to knock her out."

Kagura frowned, not enjoying the particular phrasing that Eiko had just used, and was quite perturbed by the fact that Minamo had just meekly gone along with the whole plan.

_She must have known what she was drinking. Come on... is she that afraid of this lady that she'll just listen to whatever the hell she says? And, man, who the heck just does something like that to her friend...?_

"You look upset."

Kagura bit her lip. "...I'm just not sure that was the right thing to do to her."

"It is. And it's not the first time I've made her do that." Eiko looked down at her phone, thumbing the screen as she began to type something on it. "She has terrible sleep problems. Getting her a little tipsy is the only way to overcome that with her. She's fine, so don't worry."

"Sleep problems? What do you mean?"

"She's the type of person who can't relax if something is bothering her. She can't stop thinking about how to fix it."

"But...she was sleeping fine all night. And this morning..."

Eiko shook her head. "She might have slept a bit, but she was probably awake the rest of the time while worrying about everything that's happened. I can tell her by her eyes that she's missed a lot of sleep, so I'm sure that's the case. She's going to need her head on straight if she's going to get through this, so this is a must."

"...it sounds like you know Minamo pretty well."

"I know her better than anyone else in the world, Kagura. Even better than she knows herself."

She was equally impressed and troubled by the claim. "...r-really?"

Eiko smiled while keeping her eyes to her phone. "That's right. And right now, I can also tell that she doesn't want to talk. It's why she lied to us."

Kagura gawked at her. "Wh-_what_? Lied about what?"

"Do you have to be anywhere in the next few hours, Kagura?"

_...she just changes the topic whenever the hell she wants to._ "...umm, not really. I have to get my car back to my mom later today. That's about it. But, what did y-"

"Perfect. So, if you have some free time, then allow me to treat you out while Minamo's asleep. We'll get something to eat." The woman looked back up at her, a warm smile on her face. "I really appreciate you coming all the way out here to take care of my friend, Kagura, so it's the least I can do for you." She stepped close to give her a pat on the shoulder. "I know of a few amazing restaurants that we can go to. Believe me, whichever one you choose, you'll be happy."

Kagura was at a loss for what to immediately say. Things just seemed to be moving so fast now, and the close proximity of this woman to her was making it strangely difficult to string her words together. "...err, you don't have to do that..."

"Yes, I do. You're coming along with me, Kagura, so that's that."

It was an order, and Kagura easily gave in to it. "Uh...uh, ok! Ok...umm...thank you..."

Eiko gave her another pat. "Excellent. We'll have some fun together. Are you into cars, Kagura?"

"Yeah, I guess. Why?"

"Sports cars?"

"...oh, yeah. They're pretty cool."

"Well, then you'll get a kick out of mine." The woman grinned, and once again set her focus to her phone. "Let's give this another few minutes, then I'll go inside and get my purse. Minamo should be fully asleep by then. I just didn't want her to know that we'd be leaving the apartment for awhile. She always thinks everyone is going to talk about her when she's not invited to something...which is, well, what we're going to do, actually."

Kagura began to feel uneasy again. "...what about her are we gonna' talk about? How to get Yukari to talk to her?"

Eiko used her free hand to fiddle around with one of her earrings. "Well, we'll discuss that, too. More importantly, though, I'd like to hear the rest of what happened over the last few days, and anything else that you can tell me about Minamo's behavior. From what she's just told me...how do I say this? Some things that I've long wondered about her have been answered quite quickly today, but now, I have a few new concerns and questions. So, you're going to help me address them, Kagura. And, since you've become quite involved in this whole thing, I think you deserve to know a little more about your sensei as well. I take it she hasn't really explained much at all to you."

"Mmm...I don't get what you're saying. What hasn't she explained?"

"About herself, her high school days, all of that."

She frowned. As intriguing as she found Eiko to be, Kagura was beginning to sense a danger about her that she didn't enjoy. "...I don't know if that's a good thing for me to hear. I think...you know, that she should tell me personal stuff herself..."

Eiko chuckled. "You're so honest. That's fascinating."

"...huh...?"

The woman shook her head, and then locked eyes with her. "I'll be blunt with you, Kagura: I won't have you, or anyone else, misunderstand or think negatively of Minamo. If you know of her circumstances, then you'll understand any actions or decisions that she's taken up to this point. Or, may take in the future. Do you understand?"

Kagura didn't comprehend a single thing that Eiko had just told her, but there was a solid authority in her voice now, and it completely crushed any sort of desire she had for clarification. All she could do was just nod absently.

Eiko smiled, her voice velvety once more. "Excellent. Now, let's go get something to eat. Do you drink, Kagura?"

"...umm...not really."

"And why not?"

"...um, I'm not old enough..."

"Oh, that's such a trivial thing to stop you. I'll buy you a round or two. You'll enjoy it. And, don't worry..."

Kagura gasped, Eiko's face and mouth now next to her ear.

"...I won't tell your parents."

The playful whisper had rendered her utterly speechless, and the feeling of the woman's warm breath against her skin paralyzed the rest of her body. In a single heart beat, Kagura had found herself completely unraveled, and now, some instinct inside of her demanded that she do anything else that Eiko wanted of her, regardless of how dangerous she seemed to be.


	52. Part II Chapter 52

Part II

Chapter 52

Kagura swore that the tires weren't even touching the ground as they moved.

_Holy crap...__I can't believe I'm riding in something like this. This thing is freakin' smooth as hell! Holy crap!_

Her eyes darted frantically about the car's cabin, taking in every single detail of the amazing interior. The rich, black leather that lined it all was marvelous to the touch, and both the nav console and instrument panel were items straight out of some sci fi space ship. Even the passenger seat that she was in was so extraordinary, ridiculously comfortable, and Kagura wondered if it, by itself, was worth more than her own entire car.

"...it's one of our performance models from our luxury line. It's not the top of the class, but close to it." Eiko was sitting next to her, her hands on the wheel as she took her vehicle out from the apartment's parking lot, their destination a restaurant in the city. She stole a look at her young passenger then, grinning widely at her. "So, do you like it?"

Kagura gave her a slow, absent nod, not really hearing the woman speak. In all her life, she had never been inside of any car even half as incredible as Eiko's, and was blown away by the fact that she was actually riding inside of it. She had always been a fan of sports cars, and the moment she had seen the sleek, white exterior of this particular one, she had instantly fallen in love with it.

Eiko brought the car onto the highway then, and the moment she did, she floored the gas, the sudden burst of speed sending Kagura flying into the back of her seat.

_"Whoa!"_

The woman just calmly smiled as she kept her eyes on the road ahead. "How was that?"

"_...that was awesome!_ _Holy crap...!_" She grinned with enthusiasm, the raw horsepower of the vehicle exhilarating her, and then, she glanced at the speedometer. "...holy crap, 100 kilometers already? That was like..._man,_ that was like a few seconds!"

"4.6 seconds is what we advertise it at."

Kagura's eyes lit up with amazement. "...man. Damn...damn, I want one! Damn...umm...how much do these go for?"

Eiko spat out a number that caused her to swear quite colorfully.

Kagura rested back in her seat, growing more stunned by the minute. "...I seriously don't even think my folks' house is worth that much."

"It's a high price, but it's not meant for the average consumer. If you ever make enough money to buy one, though, you can give me a ring." The woman chuckled at her.

Kagura chuckled as well. "...I hope you gimme' a discount at least. Hey, so...did you buy this one?"

"No. I just wanted to try it out for awhile. I like to go through our inventory when I can, to see how they feel."

She stared in awe at Eiko, smiling with glee afterward. "Wow...that's freakin' awesome! You can just drive whatever the hell you want...you're so damn lucky..."

As the vehicle screamed down the highway, Kagura and her new friend conversed over some of the more intricate details of the vehicle, and cars in general. Eiko knew her stuff well, and Kagura enjoyed listening to the woman go on about the underlying mechanics of them, what she did as a manager, of how the automotive business operated.

"...man, I really haven't met a lady that's into cars and junk as much as you are."

Eiko smiled. "Well, to be honest, I'm not terribly into them. I enjoy driving them, but they aren't particularly my thing."

Kagura raised an eyebrow. "...err, but you work at a big car corporation..."

"So?"

"...uh...well, I dunno'. I just figured that people who worked there would be crazy about cars..."

"That's a little stereotypical, don't you think?"

"Uh...I guess. I dunno', just makes sense to me..."

"Hmm...I suppose I _am_ 'crazy' about them, in a way."

"What do you mean?"

"Well..." Eiko took the car off an exit. "...it's not the vehicles themselves I'm interested in. I'm more into the numbers part of developing them...I like to crunch numbers. You know, figuring out the designs and physics and all that. And, back when I was in college, there was a big demand for engineers, so I went down that route, and now I'm here."

Kagura gawked at her. "_Wow_...really? I guess...well, I guess I didn't see you as the engineering type...sorry, don't mean anything by that, just..."

Eiko chuckled. "It's fine. I get that all time. Let's just say that I'm very good with math, and I actually like it, to boot. It might be easier for you to think of me as a math person, Kagura.

"...ok, but, ugh..." She put on a playfully disgusted face. "How can anyone _like_ math...? I always hated it. Like, I always got instantly bored whenever our math teacher walked in the room..."

"Well...do you like puzzles?"

She blinked. "Oh...yeah. Err, you mean like the ones where you put the pieces together?"

"Sure."

"Yeah, those are pretty fun."

"Ok. Then, just think of all those math problems as little puzzles. That's all they are." They were in the city now, and Eiko brought the car to a halt before a stop sign, a few pedestrians crossing in front of them. She turned to her passenger. "Then, if you get good at solving those simple puzzles, you can move onto more complex ones, and so on. It really is a lot of fun."

"...so you do it for fun, then?"

"Well, yes, and because the practical applications of your puzzle-solving skills are amazing. For example, we use math to predict and solve all sorts of things. You can model the hydraulics of a car with it, or figure out how a black hole in space works, and all sorts of amazing stuff. Don't you think that's pretty cool?"

Kagura was getting a little lost in what Eiko was talking about now, but the enthusiasm in the woman's voice kept her interest in check. "...ok, well that stuff is, cool, I guess. I thought they just made it to, like, torture kids."

Eiko chuckled. "It can be difficult sometimes, but it's a great feeling to figure out something. And with math, there's always a nice, clean answer awaiting you. If your numbers and equations are right, then it all works out so nicely." She laced her fingers together. "It's all very elegant, Kagura, and I find that fascinating. I enjoy the beauty of things falling perfectly into place. And when you get very good at it, you can then use your math to figure out anything at all, Kagura. _Anything._"

The last sentence made her shiver for some reason, Eiko's eyes digging into her.

The woman sighed as she brought the car into motion again, the light ahead turning green. "But, in any case, I don't get involved with that part of the business anymore. I do miss all the design work, but then again, life is quite nice with a bigger paycheck, so I guess I shouldn't complain..."

Kagura gazed at her with a bit of wonder then. She had never met someone like Eiko before, an individual who seemed to have everything in both the looks and brains department, with a high profile job to boot. And now, Kagura was finding it hard to believe that she was actually in the company of such an incredible person, never having imagined that such a feat was possible for an ordinary teenager like her.

_...I'm gonna' tell everyone about this, but no one's gonna' believe me. Driving around with an exec in some freakin' expensive car, yeah, right. Even I don't even buy it. Ha...oh well, might as well make the most of this then..._

She got comfortable in her chair and relaxed, sharing some more conversation with Eiko as they continued to their destination. And, as she listened to the woman, Kagura felt herself grow even more enamored with her by the second, falling into a calm trance as she got high off her wonderful looks, her confident voice, her sweet perfume.

_...this lady can't be for real. She's...really, really cool. Like...I seriously would have never taken her for some mathy person, if she hadn't told me she was one.__ Is she actually good at that stuff? She looks more like a movie star or something. Well, then again, Minamo did call her a nerd, and...oh, wait a minute!_

"We're almost there. It's a nice international restaurant, and they have quite the amazing selection. You'll love it."

Kagura got herself out of her reverie, the situation they had left behind at the apartment now screaming back into her mind. "...oh man, that sounds really good. Thanks again for taking me out..."

"My pleasure. Thank you for taking care of Minamo."

"...oh, yeah, no problem. Hey, so, about her..." Kagura frowned. "...I guess I still just don't feel right about leaving her alone like that, you know, since all this crazy stuff is goin' on..."

Eiko peeked over at her, a reassuring smile on her face. "Trust me, Kagura, she's fine. She'll be asleep for a few hours at the very least. And, she'll be in a better state of mind to discuss things after she's gotten some actual rest."

"...but how do you know for sure, though? What if she wakes up and sees that we're gone? I dunno' what she'd do..."

"Relax, Kagura. I've known Minamo since she was a child, and I'm very familiar with her habits. She's dead asleep right now."

She thought about that statement for a moment. "...wait...you've known her...for _how_ long?"

"Oh, since we were...maybe six or seven? I'm her oldest friend, and vice versa."

Kagura's eyes opened widely in astonishment. "...whoa, whoa! _Seriously_?"

Eiko nodded. "That's right. We grew up in the same neighborhood, so we were together quite a bit." The woman gave her a sarcastic look. "So, I'm not kidding when I said that I know her very well. I really do."

That bit of information caught Kagura off guard, as she had previously assumed that Yukari had been her oldest friend. _Well, sensei said that they were all together in high school. I just figured that Minamo had met Eiko then, but, guess not. _"Man, that's _so_ cool! And it's really, really cool that you guys still know each other after all this time! So...you guys went to all the same schools and stuff, too?"

"Well...mostly." Eiko paused as she eyed some street signs. "...we went to the same elementary school together, but after that, my family moved out of the country for a few years, so I missed junior high with her."

"...but I thought you all went to high school together?"

Eiko gave her a cynical glance. "Did Minamo tell you that? Well, yes, we did. My family moved back to Japan a little into our first year of high school, so I missed a few months of it. I went to where Minamo was going to, though, and that's when I met her friend Yukari as well."

Kagura put on a crooked smile. "Ha...you musta' thought Yukari was nuts off the bat."

"...to be honest, Kagura, I got along with her better than I ever did with Minamo."

Her jaw dropped. "_What?_ But...Yukari's freakin' crazy..."

"That's only when she gets angry, Kagura. Otherwise, she really is great company to have around. She's my favorite friend, and I still chat with her all the time."

..._are we talking about the same person here...? And I thought Minamo said that Yukari was the total opposite of this lady...so, what the hell? How can she like her more than Minamo? _"But...but, _how_?"

"'How' what?"

"...I mean, Yukari...she's insane. You really like her more than Minamo...?"

"Yes, I do. She always makes me laugh, and I really admire people who can speak their mind as freely as her. Minamo is my friend, too, of course, but..." Eiko paused again. "...I've never gelled very well with timid and shy people, Kagura, let's just say that."

Kagura crooked her head. "...Minamo's shy?"

"Yes, really shy. She used to be a very quiet child, and there are still times when it shows through."

"...I didn't know that. She doesn't seem like it at school."

"She's gotten better at handling it with age. She's just always been afraid of doing or saying something that would make her look silly in front of others. She's just very self-conscious."

"I guess I can see that a little in her...the self conscious part, I mean. Like, she hates it when someone thinks she's dumb or something, since she's good at sports."

"Ah, yes, she's always been like that. She was basically the oddball in a family full of intellectuals. That's really not her forte', so she's always had a bit of a complex about it."

Kagura threw the woman a curious look. "Whoa...her family's a bunch of smart people?"

Eiko smiled. "More or less. The whole Kurosawa clan is pretty well respected, since they usually climb pretty high on the career ladder. Minamo's mother, for example, works at a government agency that handles network security. She's a very, _very_ intelligent individual, Kagura. In fact, she's my mentor. She knows how to handle people very well."

She held back a chuckle. _Yeah, you learned pretty good from her, lady. _"Wow, I never knew that about her mom."

"In any case, that's why the whole 'dumb jock' thing is such a sore spot for Minamo. She's always idolized her mother, and she's disappointed that she didn't inherit her brains, so to speak. Not that she's stupid, she's very competent, but she's never been too talented academically."

Kagura felt her heart sink a bit. "That sucks. I know how it feels, too. I'm not so good at school either..."

Eiko gave her a kind smile. "Well, you graduated, so you couldn't have been that bad. I'm sure you're an amazing athlete too, just like she was."

The kind comment immediately lifted her spirits, and Kagura wondered if everyone felt the same way when spoken kindly to by this woman. "Thanks! Ok, so...she's shy 'cause she doesn't want to sound stupid? But she's always confident at school. Like, she always knows what to say and stuff..."

"No, that's not it. She was just raised in a strict family with high expectations, so she always had to meet her mother's demands for her. In some ways it benefited her. You know, she's very well mannered, responsible, and all that. But at the same time, she's always worried about messing up, or putting on a bad impression, because that's what she always had to worry about as a child."

"Oh, I get it. She was shy 'cause she was afraid of getting called out for something."

"That's right. But, once she gets comfortable, she's fine. She's been teaching for a few years now, so that's probably why she doesn't seem as nervous about it all."

"...but, ok. What about Yukari, though? Even if Minamo was shy or whatever, I'd take her over Yukari to hang out with any day. She's way too much to handle."

"...would you like to hear a little story about her, Kagura?"

"Huh? Uh, sure. What story?"

"Just something that happened to us in high school. It was around when I first met Yukari, once I had moved back to Japan and joined her class." The woman brought the car to another stop, the crowds much thicker in this part of the city. "Do you know that little park that sits outside of Magical Land?"

Kagura thought to herself for a moment. "...oh, yeah. With the river or whatever."

_"_Yes, that one. Well, when we were first years, a few of us took a little trip up there. There are some parts of that river that are secluded by the trees, which makes make them nice places to do a little skinny dipping." Eiko smiled.

She couldn't help but smirk. "...whoa, really? But, why would you wanna'...?"

"You know, just something daring for us first years to do. Yukari was along with us...Minamo didn't come. It wasn't her sort of activity. Anyway, we went in the evening and had some fun, but of course, we eventually got spotted by a group of boys that were passing by."

Kagura snickered. "...oh, man. That must not have been good..."

"Well, you know, they were innocent high schoolers. They were caught off guard just as much as the girls were. In any case, my friends started screaming and all of that. What you might expect, right? I didn't particularly care about being seen nude myself, so I didn't join in the hysterics. Yukari, though..." She began to chuckle as she rested back in her seat. "...she just turned to those boys and laid it all out for them. She put her hands on her hips and just started laughing, like she was the greatest damn thing they'd ever seen. And then she ran up to them to make friends...and those boys took right off."

Kagura joined in the laughter, easily able to see Yukari pulling such a stunt. "Holy cow, that's hilarious! But...why did they run? She scared them?"

"Like I said, they seemed to be an innocent bunch. I'm sure they were startled to have a naked girl come running right up to them. They probably weren't comfortable with the situation, or maybe they were worried about being seen with her. In any case, they were gone, and we started swimming again."

"...damn, that sorta' reminds me of how she acts when she's at the school's pool. She's always tryna' show off her body even if no one cares, like she's a model or something."

Eiko smirked. "That sounds like her, alright. But, in any case...when I saw her pull that little stunt, that's when I took a real shine to her."

"...err...you started to like her 'cause she was running around butt naked?"

"I guess that's one way to put it. But, it's more that..." The woman began to fiddle with an earring. "...I like people who aren't very modest with themselves, Kagura. I've never been a fan of the concept, like our other scared friends at the time, and Yukari is anything but modest. She really has no fear about showing off to others, and, well, I just admire that quality very much..."

..._is it just me, or does she seem happy talking about Yukari?_

Kagura hadn't really understood what Eiko was getting at, but she did notice that the woman's demeanor had just brightened up. "...is it...uh, is it like one of those...'not-afraid-to-be-yourself' things or something?"

Eiko thought to herself for a moment. "I guess that's part of it. I suppose it's not very easy for me to explain, but, believe me, Yukari and I do get along very well." She put on a mischevious smile. "We're partners in crime."

A realization came to Kagura then, Eiko's particular form of grin summoning it.

_...Minamo was wrong. This lady's not the opposite of Yukari. She's more like...she's more like a different kind of Yukari..._

There were some subtle mannerisms in Eiko's expression that had just reminded Kagura of her crazy sensei, and she was beginning to see as to how the two could get along so well. "Poor Minamo...you guys must have given her a hard time in school."

Eiko laughed as she stepped on the gas again. "We did. But, Minamo always took everything in stride. She got upset with us, but, she's never let any of it get to her."

"...yeah, that happens at school and stuff too. Like the kids, and Yukari...ok, usually Yukari, but, they'll all piss her off somehow, but she never stays mad at them."

"She's a very considerate and forgiving person, Kagura. She has a genuine good heart. You know...I've been to a few places around the world, and she still remains as the kindest person that I've ever met. And, Yukari and I have definitely changed for the better, since we've been lucky enough to know her."

The compliment made Kagura smile, feeling some pride for her sensei now.

"...and that's also why I want to talk to you about her past, Kagura". Eiko took the car into a parking garage, a ritzy-looking one that appeared to house high profile guests and vehicles. "I don't want you, or anyone, to think that her recent breakdown reflects her real personality. She's just had a very demanding time growing up, and the pressure gets to her now and then."

Kagura sighed. "I wouldn't think that of her..."

"That's good. But, others won't do the same, especially in regards to her sexuality. To be honest, Kagura, this whole situation might end up affecting her career, and you'll have to help her out if things do go bad for her. The more you understand her, the more you'll be able to help. I can't always be there for her, so I'm putting some of that responsibility on you, and whoever else you may know that you can explain things to."

For some reason, Kagura felt that the word 'responsibility' was an odd one to include. She also wanted to inquire as to how Minamo's career might be at stake, but before she could, Eiko deftly parked the car into an open stall.

"Alright, let's go. I hope you're hungry, Kagura. It's just a short walk around the corner."

The mention of food always instantly took command of her thoughts, and Kagura put off her questions for the moment. After getting out of the car, they began to walk towards their destination, Kagura immediately growing aware of all the heads that turned towards her beautiful companion.

_...still don't believe it. Still don't freakin' believe that I'm with this lady..._

Eiko didn't seem to notice the attention, Kagura figuring that she was used to it. And while she did feel herself shrink a little from all the pedestrians looking towards them, she managed to keep her outward demeanor looking confident, her empty stomach instructing her to only care about feeding it for the time being.


	53. Part II Chapter 53

Part II

Chapter 53

Although Kagura usually felt that she was a somewhat well mannered individual, those graces flew out the window the very moment a meal was put down in front of her.

"...well, it looks like I brought you to the right place."

She glanced across the table, grinned stupidly at her lunch sponsor, Eiko, and then took another huge bite from her sandwich, the soft bread and tasty fillings melting wonderfully within her mouth. It was her third one, the first two consumed within minutes, and she was still far from satisfied. _"Dish' ish' greadth!'"_

Eiko smiled at her, and then took a sip of a coffee she had ordered. "I'm glad you're enjoying it. I told you it was good. All of this should keep those muscles of yours fueled for a while now, right?"

Kagura let go another delightfully stupid smile, and then scarfed down the remainder of her sandwich with glee. Eiko had definitely not lied to her about this restraunt being nothing short of amazing. The place was part of a chain that served western and mediterranean cuisine, and while Kagura wasn't sure as to how authentic it all was, she really didn't care either. The food was delicious, and that's all that mattered to her. "Dho' desh'..." She swallowed. "So, do they like, know you here or something? We got seated pretty fast."

The woman shrugged. "You could say that. "

She stole a look around her then, at least fifty or sixty other people currently dining alongside them in the enormous establishment. Upon first seeing the crowd, she had figured that the wait would have been a lengthy one, but a host had brought them past all of that and had immediately sat them down in a booth.

_...well, for all I know, she friggin' owns this place._

Kagura figured that she wouldn't be surprised if that were the case. The place was decorated with an expensive, trendy theme of decor that seemed to match Eiko's own style, and its patrons appeared to be from the same upper crust of society as she was from. They all were enjoying the great food, the spread of giant televisions plastered against the walls, the decked out bar in the middle of it all. And, while Kagura had been to some nice restaurants before, they hadn't been nearly as lavish or amazing as this one.

_I bet all this grub is super expensive, too. You'd have to be rich to eat here. Oh well, I'm not payin' for it, so..._

Another sandwich met its demise, Kagura's ravenous appetite destroying everything before her, and it wasn't long before Eiko ordered another plate for her. "You're like a garbage disposal."

Kagura chuckled. She often got a bit of ridicule sent her way because of her voraciousness, but she enjoyed them more as compliments than as jabs. "_That's me all right!_ Yeah, uh, hope you don't mind me goin' nuts here...I kinda' want to make the most of this..."

"Like I said, order as much as you want. It's all on me."

_"Thank youuuu! _Man, Yukari must love you. I bet you buy her tons of food, too."

"She does, and I do." Eiko set her drink down, stirring some sweetener into it. "But, I don't mind. I enjoy spending money on my friends. I think it's a good use for it."

The 'friend' comment delighted Kagura. "That's _so_ cool! Man, I wish I could do that for my friends, too. Maybe someday..."

"You will. Just stick to your game plan."

She grinned. "_I will!_" She gobbled another sandwich, taking a moment to gulp it down. "...so, I take it you see Yukari a lot, then?"_  
_

"I usually see her on Sundays, and I try to take her to a restaurant if I have time. Whenever I pick her up from her house, she's like a dog that's just waiting to be walked. It's so funny."

The comment made Kagura laugh. "Yeah, I bet. I can totally picture that. Oh, umm, hey, that kinda' reminds me...is it ok for you to be taking me out like this now?"

"Pardon?"

"Well, I just figured that you'd have tons to do back at work or something..."

"I am at work."

"Eh, what'?"

Eiko gave her a wink.

Kagura was embarrassed at how long it took her to understand, and when she did, she started giggling. "...oh, _oh!_ Right...uh, wow, that's _awesome!_ You can just, you know, uh...'work' anytime you want?"

Another shrug of the shoulders. "I do what I want until they tell me not to do it. Sometimes, anyways."

It was a coolly delivered line, and Kagura felt herself tingle from it. "...man, that's so crazy! Have they ever caught you 'working'?"

"...well, let's just say that our board of directors doesn't like me very much." Another sly smile. "But they're all idiots, so I take it as a compliment."

Kagura chuckled.

"...but, in any case, this is a different situation. If Minamo needs help, then I'll always drop what I'm doing for her."

The comment made her smile. "That's so awesome to hear that Minamo has someone like you to call when she's in trouble!"

"Well, she's my little sister, Kagura. That's how I've always seen her, anyway, and, you know, it's just helping family in that respect."

"...oh, I get it. You're her big sister! Is she younger than you, too?"

Eiko nodded. "Yes, by the better part of a year. Yukari is a few months older than her as well, so..." The woman chuckled. "We've always liked to tease her about being the baby in our group of friends. It drives her crazy. But it's also a bit ironic, since she's generally been the most responsible out of all of us. Back in school, she would always lecture us if we did something that she didn't find appropriate."

Kagura laughed. "Guess that's why she makes such a good teacher. She's always doing that with us, too..."

"It's because she genuinely cares about your well being." Eiko drank from her coffee again. "But, as mature as she is, she's still always been somewhat crippled by her self-consciousness. I used to quite literally hold her hand wherever we went, Kagura, because she was never sure on what to do whenever she met people. And..." She sighed, sitting back into the booth. "...I still try to do that, whenever I can. I'm just always worried about her."

"...why? I mean, she seems to do ok..."

"I'm talking about what's recently happened. I somewhat saw this whole situation coming."

Kagura stared at her blankly for a moment. "Wait...you _knew_ she was gay all this time?"

"Well, that's not what I was referring to. However...it's not like the idea never came to mind. She was always teased about liking girls in school, but I had just figured that it was the usual stereotype attributed to a good female athlete. I never believed it, especially since she always seemed to be into men. But..." She looked off to the side. "...in hindsight, there are some incidents from the past that have come into better context for myself now. But, anyway, no, I didn't specifically think of her as gay. What I was talking about was her breakdown itself."

"...oh! _Oh!_ Yeah...wait..." Kagura furrowed her brow, recalling what was said earlier in the apartment. "You were actin' like you saw that happen before. Like, you totally knew that she had started seeing things...that's what you're talking about?"

"Exactly. I've seen her act as if some 'thing' was around her before, and it was always brought on by a severe lack of sleep. You see, she rarely rests well, Kagura, because she always worries about some issue or someone. And when things are going quite bad, well, it gets to her in the worst way, and the ensuing insomnia gradually leads to some erratic behavior."

_...I wonder if that happened when I brought my own baggage to her?_ "...sheesh, that's nuts. No, like, _really_ nuts, because she's always thinking of all the kids and stuff at school, so..."

"I know what you mean, and I'm sure it affects her. But, really, it happens more so when her reputation is on the line. She's been trained to keep it sparkling, so to speak. And, when it does run into danger, she gets these strange dreams, Kagura, where she imagines herself bleeding to death, or some such."

She felt a chill hit her then, unsure if she wanted to continue on this topic. "...didn't you ask me about blood...?"

Eiko nodded. "It seems she hallucinates those nightmares when she can't sleep. I think that's what you saw. It makes sense, given she hadn't been sleeping, and with her worry about her sexuality being revealed. In any case, she used to talk to me about them since she was so afraid of them. She's had them since...I recall the first time being sometime in junior high."

Kagura's eyes widened in surprise. "Holy crap...are you telling me she's been having those dreams for, like...like, forever...?"

"...if you mean over the latter part of her life, then, yes. I've always told her that it was sourced from her worrying, but it seems to have never cured." Eiko shook her head sadly. "It's some sort of neurotic disposition, likely because of how strictly she had been raised. You know, something like...if she doesn't perform well, she'll die, you know?"

"...wait..." Kagura's felt another chill hit her. "That's what I wanted to tell you earlier."

"Tell me what?"

"Something that she said to me..."

"...and that is?"

She didn't enjoy reminding herself of the words, but she forced herself to. "When I found her, when she was acting crazy, she said she was gonna' die."

Eiko hesitated for only a fraction of a second before responding. "...she really said that?"

Kagura nodded. "Yeah. That's...that's really what made me stay the night there. Since she was acting freakin' crazy, so I thought, you know...she..."

The woman stared at her for a moment. "...well, that's certainly outside predictions."

"What?"

"...I've never heard her say anything like that before. You're positive she said that?"

"Yeah, totally! I was super worried...I was ready to call a doctor or somethin', but she really didn't want me to."

"That makes sense. She hates doctors."

"What? But, why?"

Eiko shrugged. "I've never really understood it. It's definitely not because she's squeamish or anything like that. I mean, she's a physical education teacher, so she deals with cuts and blood and anatomy every day. But, now, I wonder if it's because of her sexuality." She rested her head on a hand as she thought. "Maybe she feels that it would have been revealed to a medical professional somehow? I don't know. She's rarely ever seen a doctor, in any case, since she's always been so ridiculously healthy. However..."

"Yeah?"

"...regarding what she said: I doubt there was anything serious to it, Kagura. She wouldn't harm herself. Just in case, though..." Eiko picked up her phone from off the table, tapping in something upon the screen.

"...are you messaging someone?"

"Just my housekeeper. I have a high rise downtown, and I don't like cleaning, so she takes care of it."

Kagura thought about that for a moment. "Oh...um, if it's ok to ask...are you married?"

The woman's eyes looked up to her for a moment, and that slick smile of hers cut across her face. "No."

She had no idea why, but the response made her completely freeze up.

Eiko returned her attention to her phone. "I've never been the marrying type. Anyway...I'm asking her if she can be totally free for this week, or at least knows someone else at her agency who can be." She looked up at her lunch companion again. "So, my plan for this whole situation had involved taking Minamo to my place while we sorted everything out. I don't want her to stay alone while all this is happening."

The notion brought some relief to her. "That's a great idea! I was kind of worrying about that myself...I mean, I'd love to stay with her, but I can't all day...I mean, my mom needs her car back soon, for starters..."

"Dont worry about it. You've helped more than enough already. Anyway, I'm usually out of my apartment for most of the day, so I had planned for my housekeeper to check up on Minamo whenever she could. However, given what you've just told me..." She set the phone down. "...like I said, I'm sure Minamo would never harm herself, but we might as well play it safe. I told my housekeeper that I'll have a sick friend with me for awhile, and asked if she could watch her for the full time."

"...will she?"

"She hasn't responded yet. But, either way, I'll find someone. At the very least, though, I'll take the weekend off to spend some time with her. It will give me a chance to talk to Yukari as well.

Kagura blinked. "Man...so, you really are gonna' get in the middle of this whole thing?"

Eiko smiled. "Well, it's going to be hard enough to get her out of her apartment, let alone expect her to go and talk to Yukari anytime soon. I can deal with an angry Yukari, in any case. But, we'll save that for the weekend and give her a few days to cool down first. If I call her now to talk to her, there's no telling what she might do." The woman sighed. "She wouldn't like it if others butted into her business this soon, and, it might cause her to do some things that she would later regret."

"...that reminds me. I wanted to ask..." Kagura's eyes stared at her empty plate for a moment. "...is Yukari so pissed off because Minamo's into women? I mean, does she not like gay people or something...?"

"Oh, no. That's not it at all. I'm positive." Eiko waved a hand about, dismissing the idea. "She's never been one to be judgemental about things like that. Really, she'll be friendly with anyone, as long as they buy her a drink."

"But, then, what's up with her? That's the real deal here to figure out, right?"

Eiko enjoyed another taste of coffee. "Well, this is getting into what I wanted to talk to you about, Kagura. I don't know what their specific issue is, because Yukari wouldn't become violently angry over anything that Minamo did to her that night. But, I _have_ seen her become genuinely violent on a few occasions before, and it was almost always because of an issue she had with one of her friends."

Kagura crooked her head. "...with her friends? Why, did they try to screw her or somethin'?"

"...I guess, in a way." The woman played with the handle of her cup as it sat on the table. "She's never had great luck with friends, Kagura. Her type of personality isn't seen as too admirable in a reserved country like ours, so...issues come up."

_...never heard Yukari's craziness described that way before. _"Well, yeah...she definitely isn't a quiet person, if that's what you mean."

"There's much more to it than that. In any case, her relations with her friends is a bit of a sore spot for her. But, Minamo has always stuck with her through thick and thin, and that's always meant a lot to Yukari. She's lost a lot of friends in her life, Kagura, so having a best friend of Minamo's calibur has always made her feel very proud."

"...yeah, I guess that would be true. I mean, at school it looks like they fight a lot, but they still get along. Well, I know why now, in Minamo's case..."

Eiko smiled.

"...but, what are you tryna' say? Yukari doesn't see her as a friend anymore, so, she's mad at her?"

"I don't know for sure, or even specifically why she would be. But, I'm positive her past issues with friends is at the root of things here. She only gets very, _very_ angry when she feels like she's been hurt by a friend, and Minamo is her best friend. Now..." Eiko looked to the side for a moment, watching the crowd. "I know it's not because Minamo is a lesbian, and I know Minamo keeping a secret about being a lesbian wouldn't anger her either. Even Minamo pulling some moves on her wouldn't."

Kagura frowned. "Then what the hell is up?"

"I don't know for sure, but, Minamo does."

"...wait, _what_?"

"She lied when I asked her about it." Eiko leaned forward. "I asked her if she knew why Yukari was mad, remember? She said she didn't know. She lied."

She blinked in surprise. "...uh, why? If she knows what's up, then, she should spill it, if she wants this whole thing solved anyway..."

"Probably because you were there."

"Huh?"

"She probably didn't want you to hear the reason."

"...you think she did somethin' bad, or what?" Kagura folded her arms. "And, seriously, how can you even tell she's lying in the first place? What if she's telling the truth?"

The woman tilted her head, a thin smile on it. "I know her better than anyone, Kagura. I can always tell when she's lying, because she so rarely does it. It just sticks out. And she only lies when she wants to cover something that might...well, in her opinion, might sully her reputation."

"...so, what are you telling me, then? That Minamo did something else to her?" She frowned. "Wait...do you mean, like, she didn't tell us what really went on with Yukari that night?"

Eiko sat back once more. "I believe she was truthful about that, for the most part. I just think there's something deeper going on here..." She fiddled with an earring. "...and whatever it is, based on how Minamo acted, I don't think she's too proud of it."

"...I'm really lost now. I mean-"

"...just listen to this, then." Eiko's sharp eyes locked onto hers. "Minamo is a very good woman. However, sometimes even good people do things that they aren't proud of, Kagura. Remember, she had a very strict childhood, so her mindset is always oriented around staying in everyone's good graces, no matter what. I want you to remember that."

Kagura scratched her head, the conversation beginning to become a little thick for her now. "...I'd never think bad of coach, but...do you know something about what's going on with them, then? Or, not...?"

The woman shrugged. "I have a lot of leads, so to speak, but nothing concrete. I'll need Minamo to sort that out for me. However...if what I believe is true, then Minamo will have to explain it to you herself, since it's her _personal_ matter." She smiled. "There, how do you like your own medicine?"

A sigh came out from her. "...yeah, I get it. But, I didn't tell you about her 'caus-"

Eiko raised a hand. "I'm just joking with you. It was very admirable of you to allow her to tell me about all of this. You're quite the mature young woman."

Kagura gushed, any sort of compliment from Eiko seeming like immaculate praise. "...I'm not..."

The woman grinned.

"...you know..." Her high from the acclaim peaked quite quickly, a frown now on her face. "...I guess I should take back that part, about me never thinking bad of Minamo. Actually...I was pretty pissed at her today."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. And now I feel bad about it, I mean, you know, 'cause of all she's going through, but..." She took a large bite of an untouched sandwich, food such a great relaxer for her. "...I went through hell getting her to tell me what was wrong, and that she was in love with Yukari and all that. That was seriously like...both the weirdest and toughest thing I've probably been through."

Eiko looked at her peculiarly. "And you were upset at her because of that?"

"...well, sort of." She sighed. "I know this probably sounds like whining, but, man, when she just told you everything in like, ten minutes, I got so pissed at her. I mean, I know she's probably more comfortable with you and stuff, but...I just felt like I went through a bunch of drama for nothin'..."

"...ah, I see. Sorry for that. But, don't worry, it's fine to be a bit angry. Just don't hold it against her."

Kagura managed a smile. "Nah, I totally won't..."

There was a small pause in the conversation, chatter from other tables, the clinking of plates and dishes, filling the space. "...out of curiosity, was it Minamo's idea to call someone for help?"

She set down her sandwich. "Huh? Oh, geez, no. I had to really convince her to. She was freakin' out about anyone else finding out she was gay. Umm..." A sheepish smile came on her face. "Actually...I sort of picked up your name at school, 'cause one of the teachers said that she used to watch you guys hang around together. So, I dunno', I just dropped your name to Minamo and hoped it would do the trick, 'cause it sounded like you guys were close. Well, then she called you..."

"...ah, I see." Eiko rapped her fingers upon the table. "I suppose she was even scared of myself finding out, which is a bit disappointing. I guess she doesn't trust me as much as I believe she did. But, given her particular issue, I guess I can possibly understand as to why."

In that moment, Kagura recalled her sensei's initial reactions to hearing this woman's name. _That's right, Minamo seemed plenty scared of her. Hmm...I don't think it would be a good idea to mention that now. _"Yeah. It must be pretty damn terrifying..."

"Well, it shouldn't be, really. It's not like the society of this country is openly hostile towards gays or anything. They definitely don't like to talk about it, though." Eiko sighed. "But, she's a teacher that works at a fairly prestigious school, and she's in charge of a number of female sports teams. Some people would definitely find issue with that, so I'm sure that's possibly one reason that she's so worried about being found out."

"...hey...!" Kagura felt a surge of anger hit her, and she gripped the edges of the table. "...coach would never-"

Eiko shook her head. "No, she wouldn't. But some parents would think so, and schools don't typically tolerate controversial employees. In the worst case scenario, Kagura, Minamo could possibly lose her job."

"_No way!_ What...that's-"

"Just relax. Sit down."

She hadn't even noticed herself rise from her seat, and she immediately plunked herself back down.

"I'm just giving you possible scenarios here. I'm sure all of this is going through Minamos mind as well, and it's probably a big reason as to why she doesn't want Yukari to talk to anyone, among other things." Eiko shook her head with some frustration. "But, Kagura, if the worst happens, then don't worry about your sensei. I'll take care of her, so don't worry at all."

"...yeah, I know she'll be ok with you around, but..." A hard grimace hit her face. "...I don't like the idea of her not being at the school..."

Eiko smiled. "I'm sure not many people would like that, either. But like I said, if it comes to it, I can help her out. Actually...I've tried to steal your sensei away from you all once before, but she didn't bite."

Kagura blinked. "You tried to steal her...?"

"That's right. We were having dinner one night, Yukari was there as well, and I offered her a job at our company. We needed a fitness instructor for our employees, and if she had taken it, she would have been making at _least_ twice as much as she now does, plus a mountain of benefits."

Her jaw dropped a bit. "...whoa...and...she didn't go for it?"

The woman shook her head. "She likes you kids too much."

She felt the comment lift her spirits.

"...but, of course, the offer has always stood. If need be, she can always work for us. So, she'll be fine economically at the very least. As far as her social life goes regarding her sexuality, though...that, we'll have to see."

There was something that Eiko had just said that didn't strike Kagura in the right way, but she couldn't immediately identify as to what it was. Regardless, the two continued to chat a bit more, Kagura tearing into more and more food as they did. Eventually, the crowd around them began to thin out as the lunch hour faded away, and Eiko recommended that they leave soon as well.

"Just have one, Kagura."

"..err..." Kagura shied away, the woman holding a cold can of imported beer that she had just ordered. "...I don't think I should..."

Eiko waved it back and forth teasingly in front of her face. "It's all I'm asking you to do, in return for a ride back to the apartment." She grinned with glee.

Kagura frowned, not sure whether the threat was serious or not. "...ok, ok. Just...just a little..." _My mom is gonna' kill me..._

"Oh, that's what they all say, at the start."

She didn't understand what Eiko meant, but she slowly took the can and popped it open. After a minute of hesitation, and more prodding by Eiko, she took a sip. There was a slight bitterness to it which she didn't much like, but the frostiness of it was refreshing at the very least. "...ugh..."

"It's not too bitter for you, is it?"

Kagura pondered the flavor over. "...not a lot. Don't think I like it much, though. It's ok, just, not my thing..."

Eiko grinned. "You might like alcohol that's a bit more sweetened. Beer might not be your thing." The woman called a hostess over, and before Kagura knew it, another type of drink was set down in front of her, one that looked like a chocolate milkshake. "...what's this?"

"Drink it. You'll like it. It's not bitter at all."

She sighed and did as instructed. This drink, at least, was tasty, creamy and flavorful, with just a slight hint of something stronger underneath it. She set it down after a long gulp. "Ok, _that_ was good. Man...that's alcohol...?"

"It's basically a milkshake, with whisky."

"...whoa...really?" She stared down into the frosted glass. "Well, guess if you add ice cream to anything, its gets better..."

Eiko chuckled. "Finish it up. You'll feel it soon."

"Huh?"

The woman didn't answer, just waving her hand playfully instead.

Within a few minutes, Kagura had wolfed the whole thing down, wiping some cream off her lips afterwards. "...I could get used to drinking stuff like that."

"I'm sure you will. Thanks for humoring me. Well, are you ready to leave?"

"Oh, yeah, sure."

The bill was quickly paid, Kagura wondering as to how much Eiko had just spent on her. They were then soon outside, the scorching summer sun still destroying everything as they walked back to the parking garage.

And then, Kagura began to feel _quite_ good.

"...ha..."

Eiko turned her head to her, smiling. "There you go."

"Yeah, I'm goin'..."

She felt the woman place a hand on her shoulder, patting her with enthusiasm. Kagura turned to her then.

_...man...she's a lot more freakin' gorgeous than I thought..._

The sparkle of the woman's ruby earrings was so enticing to her now, and everything else, as well.

"...hey, Eiko, m'am?"

"Yes?"

"You're really good looking."

A grin was the response, and Kagura thought she felt a finger stroke her face. "So are you, dear."

It was so easy to talk now, and Kagura said a few more things to her, not really caring whatever came out of her mouth, nor really understanding any of it. The only thing she truly comprehended was just how wonderful the world had just gotten, everything becoming so ridiculously sublime.

_Oh, the car._

She was now in the vehicle, somehow. It was then a mechanical reaction as she pulled the seat belt around her.

_Vroom, vroom!_

That lovely voice emanated from next to her. "Well, let's get going. Minamo will be up soon."

_...Minamo...?_

_"_...Minamo...?"

Eiko tossed her an impish smile. "Yes, the woman who just confessed that she was a lesbian to you. Remember?"

"...oh..." Kagura's eyes brightened up considerably. "...right...right...r-"

It hit her right then, the thing that had been nagging at her when the woman had spoken about finding her sensei a new job.

_...yeah, she...she kept talking about Minamo's job...her job...and her lesbian...lesbian stuff...over and over. Minamo likes women. That's what we were talking about. Yup, the whole time...but..._

Kagura closed her eyes, feeling like she was now melting into the leather seat.

_...what was the other thing? With Minamo...oh. Yeah. She likes Yukari. She's got a crush on Yukari._

_Huh._

_Yeah._

_Does Eiko know that? Maybe she forgot. Mmm...I better remind her after I wake up, 'cause..._

Her head bobbed up and down a few times.

_...'cause we didn't talk about that over my sandwiches even once...nope, not even once...mmm..._


End file.
